DOUG JONES WINS ALABAMA SENATE RACE!!!

The New York Times reports:

Doug Jones, a Democratic former prosecutor who mounted a seemingly quixotic Senate campaign in the face of Republican dominance here, defeated his scandal-scarred opponent, Roy S. Moore, after a brutal campaign marked by accusations of sexual abuse and child molestation against the Republican, according to The Associated Press.

The upset delivered an unimagined victory for Democrats and shaved Republicans’ unstable Senate majority to a single seat.

Mr. Jones’s victory could have drastic consequences on the national level, snarling Republicans’ legislative agenda in Washington and opening, for the first time, a realistic but still difficult path for Democrats to capture the Senate next year. It amounted to a stinging snub of President Trump, who broke with much of his party and fully embraced Mr. Moore’s candidacy, seeking to rally support for him in the closing days of the campaign.

Propelled by a backlash against Mr. Moore, an intensely polarizing former judge who was accused of sexually assaulting young girls, Mr. Jones overcame the state’s daunting demographics and deep cultural conservatism. His campaign targeted African-American voters with a sprawling, muscular turnout operation, and appealed to educated whites to turn their backs on the Republican Party.

STEVE BANNON CAN SUCK IT.

  • I’m just shocked… Didn’t think this was possible.

  • DreadPikathulhu

    Bring on the sadz.

  • JaniceInToronto

    Now the fun begins…

  • AtticusP

    Wow! Maybe there IS a God!

    Nah…

    • DaddyRay

      It is almost as if prayers didn’t do shit

      • AtticusP

        Who’da thunk it!?

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      Maybe America isn’t completely doomed?

      • AtticusP

        I hope it’s not just a glitch in the matrix…

  • I’ve been keeping a toe in Right Wing World, reading the live results on FreeRepublic. They were so sure. 🙂 And now, they’ve got the sadz. That gives me the gladz.

    • AtticusP

      I hope that you disinfect that toe immediately! God only knows what’s out there in right wing world.

      • It’s like a bite on The Walking Dead if you’re not careful, I’m pretty sure.

  • HanyBaal

    A win for decency! Thank you Alabama.

    • Todd20036

      Barely. But I guess for Alabama, that’s something.

      • charemor

        Yes, barely, but for all of the prejudiced, ignorant rednecks in Alabama, this is big news. First Democrat in how many years?

  • ChrisBnSF

    WOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!!

  • bkmn

    Maybe 2017 will try to make up for 2016

    • DaddyRay

      This year is ending on a better note

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      It would need Pat Robertson’s cursed antique to suddenly fail to even start making up for 2016.

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    WHAT? AWESOME! My contribution did not go to waste and I’m glad Alabamans did the right thing!

  • Ninja0980

    This is a dream right?

    • T’is a vision from Earth Prime, where good people win and evil loses.

  • Guess

    SWEET HOME ALABAMA!
    WHERE A SENATE SEAT’S BLUE!
    SWEET HOME ALABAMA!
    JUSTICE, COMING HOME TO YOU!

  • another_steve

    Joy.

    “No Ordinary Love”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WcWHZc8s2I

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    Also, suck it Turtleface! Suck it, Dump!

  • Steven B

    I’m gonna need someone to check on me in 4 hours just in case this huge erection doesn’t go away.

    #SenatorDougJones
    #Bluewave2018

  • Jay George

    It’s a fucking miracle.

  • Tatonka
  • bkmn

    Sending thoughts and prayers to all those Moore voters…and lots of laughter.

  • JustDucky
  • Guys. As exciting as this win is…. AND IT’S HUGELY EXCITING!
    Let’s remember this other neat little Stat.
    49-51.

  • SoCalGal20

    YAY DOUG JONES!!!!!!!!!!!!

    THANK YOU ALABAMA!!!!!!!!!

  • safari
  • AW

    Holy fuck yes!!!!! Yes!!!!!!

  • Sam_Handwich

    this is so completely gratifying.

    next concern – will Jones stick with Dems on senate votes? is he willing to do two years and get voted out?

    • Ninja0980

      He might as well, since that seat will certainly revert to form a-la Scott Brown in 2020.

    • Treant

      Eh, even a 25% adherence to Dem lines is better than the zero percent we’d get from Moore.

      Still, for the big ones like the ACA, tax plans, budgets, and so on, he’d fucking well better toe the line.

      • Jay George

        Agree. Assholes like Moore need to know with certainty, they are in the minority.

      • Skeptical_Inquirer

        I think Doug should know this is the time to hit hard and strong for Dem positions for the short time he’s there.

  • fuzzybits
  • kevin vincent

    Okay Trump should never endorse any candidates ever… he turned FUCKING ALABAMA Blue!

  • BartmanLA

    Woo hooo!!!!! The BLUE Wave has started!!!!!!!!!

  • Treant

    Dear Alabama:

    I now only hate 48% of you who clearly fuck your siblings. I’m sure that’ll change at the next election, but for now, enjoy being majority not-hated.

  • ohbear1957
  • MikeBx2
    • MarkOH

      THIS. Amen

  • MBear

    “Steve bannon can suck it” ROFLOLOLOLOLOLMFAOOOO

    • Dreaming Vertebrate

      And buy “it” you mean a prickly cactus.

      • MBear

        The gnarled new guinea poisonous razor stump

    • TheManicMechanic

      I prefer he suck on the business end of a Glock with his finger on the trigger.

    • KCMC

      Liver beyond sucking

  • Mike C

    I needed this. America needed this.

  • safari

    Let this election serve as an example of what can happen when voters turn out!

  • Dramphooey

    I was hopeful but I just didn’t think it could happen. I was really expecting some crushing thing and more of their sickening gloating and “owning.” Wow.

  • Lazycrockett
    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      Turtle soup! Turtle soup!

  • PeedeResistance

    HOT DAYUM!!!

  • Leo

    This and THIS will be the major stories tomorrow.
    https://twitter.com/axios/status/940783584675287040

    • Dreaming Vertebrate

      Why am I not surprised?!

  • iambu

    FUCK YEAH!

  • coram nobis

    “Hey .. Boo?”

  • Canadian Observer

    Handing out courtesy umbrellas in anticipation of the upcoming Twitter storm

  • David L. Caster

    The GOP needs to take the hint.

  • JoeMyGod

    Ten minutes ago I took this screenshot from the far-right One America News. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bd120d51da29db2c2a3127d7cc00f20f36e55df49f0f06190685e53cd167e5ba.png

  • Stogiebear

    And soon to issue from Shitgibbon’s fingers: “‘Jones Wins AL Senate Seat’ reported by failing NYTimes. FAKE NEWS!”

  • Robert Anthony

    I’m not American so I don’t feel obligated to be gracious to the losers when I say “suck it christians!”… But what a nail-biter!

  • Elsewhere1010

    Steve Bannon would be so very bad at sucking it, I pity anyone who had to put themselves into his mouth.

  • ChrisInKansas

    Will Trump say “Moore didn’t fully embrace me” tomorrow, or will he never mention his name ever again?

    • MichaelJ

      No, Trump and other right wingers will say that a lot of people in the cities voted twice. Another dog whistle about race.

  • Jamie_Johnson

    OMG!

  • MikeBx2
  • Joe

    Fuck yeah!!! Trump gonna be soooo mad

    • Karl Dubhe 2

      I hope he’s mad enough, but not too mad to kill us all.

      • Maybe he’ll stroke out.

        • Todd20036

          EWWWWW!!!!

          Oh, you meant something else…

          • I could’ve said so much else instead, but I know karma is a bitch and I want to keep her on my good side.

  • Dreaming Vertebrate

    It is beginning, …

  • Lazycrockett
    • David L. Caster

      Of all places.

    • Treant

      (Tugs sleeve) This is a 1.5 percent win…in a massively expensive race. Against a man who fucks children. Against a man who opens his mouth and race insults dribble out. And so on.

      Demagoguery and partisanship is still alive and well, Pete. Don’t feed us pretty words, this was only the third or fourth battle of a long war…and we lost two of those battles already.

      • MBear

        Pretty words and failing in action: i dont trust this guy

        • Treant

          I must admit, his involvement with the Salvation Army bothers the fuck outta me, too, and I find his actions otherwise to be tepid at this point.

          I’m tentatively neutral on Pete!, but if he runs for anything I’m going to be giving him a much closer and much more searching look.

        • Rambie

          Jones is a red state Democrat, sure he’s not as liberal in all areas as we’d like but he is TONS better than any Republican

          • TuuxKabin

            I think he’s referring to Pete Buttiegieg, Mayor of South Bend that Lazycrockett posted a link to.

            Confused me too.

          • Rambie

            Looks like, and as questionable as the SA is, they’ve helped a good friend of mine when he had an emergency appendectomy without insurance even knowing he was gay. Some local chapters aren’t so bad.

          • TuuxKabin

            That is good to know. Thank you. Some local chapters ARE involved with the community.

          • Octoberfurst

            You got that right. Jones may not be “Mr Perfect” but he 1,000 times better than Moore. I hate this, “He’s not the PERFECT candidate so I won’t vote for him” crap.

          • Rambie

            I’m a red-state Democrat so I know all about never having the perfect candidate.

          • Todd20036

            He prosecuted the murderers of black children and won.

            I’ll take him over a kiddie fucker.

            Plus he’s pro choice.

            I’m no Bernie Bro. I’ll take 75% of the ideal candidate over 1% of the ideal candidate

            I’d like 100% of the ideal candidate, but I’d also like to be 6’4″ and have 200 pounds of solid muscle. That ain’t going to happen

          • Let me know when you find an ideal candidate. In the meantime I’ll take 65% decent and round up.

          • megatons!

          • (((GC)))

            And if he becomes part of a Democratic Senate majority — the majority appoints committee chairs, controls the rules, decides what bills are even considered… a few DINOs won’t change that.

          • UrsusArctos 🐻

            The ability to vote for a Democratic Speaker is good enough for me.

      • That_Looks_Delicious

        True. If you look at the county-by-county results, Moore actually did better than the average Republican in many Republican-leaning counties. Jones did spectacularly well in Democratic-leaning counties and flipped a few, but not many. Mostly it looks like he won by increasing turnout and hometurf advantage in Dem counties.

        But the county-by-county results point to yet further increased polarization.

        • Treant

          ^^^ This. I won’t refuse the win, by any sense (although I expect delays in seating Jones while they keep Strange around to blow McConnell).

          But by no means have we learned anything. Warranted, this is Alabama, which is not a swing state. The only thing I hope they’ve learned is that Alabama can go blue if Dems actually Show The Fuck Up.

          • Stephen Elliot Phillips

            Yep

          • Adam

            Honestly, this was won by black voters.

            Not casting any blame, but if turnout was like that in 2016… we would have a better country today.

            I hope black Americans understand how powerful they are when they turn out to vote.

          • narutomania

            If we compare American political affiliations to those of Europe (and other places with similar systems), black voters are like a coalition unto themselves. I agree: they swung this election to Jones.

          • Jennie

            Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !da80d:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleCashManagementCareerPartTimeJobs/get/hourly ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!da80uu

        • Lazycrockett

          Moore did worse than he did in the 2012 election. he underperformed Drumpf by an average of 5 pts.

        • Turnout matters. A lot of areas that are considered safe Republican districts are only so because Democrats don’t think it’s worth showing up. It is.

          • JT

            Nothing shows that more tragically and dramatically than the 2016 Presidential election.

      • Friday

        Yeah, *but* this is a 1.5 percent+ win in a state that is normally +19 for Republicans.

        • james1200

          It went Trump by almost 30 points and for Sessions 2 yrs ago 90-10! This is an almost unbelievable swing to the Dems! The Senate was way beyond reach an hour ago. Now it’s in play! Collins from ME is going to have to behave now! I’ll bet u she votes against the tax bill because her seat is now in play!

          • Rillion

            Democrats didn’t even put up a candidate against Sessions 2 years ago for this seat.

          • Friday

            (Sessions was, mind you, running unopposed then. The DNC often thinks it’s just throwing money away to campaign in the South in many cases. They should reconsider that now. )

        • Rillion

          538 has the partisan lean at +28 points for Republicans.

      • james1200

        A significant portion of white racist Alabamians voted for a left wing liberal! This is beyond huge! And the GOP is already attacking each other, lol!

      • Stephen Elliot Phillips

        I agree. We dems need to be hard driving SOBS. Its war. And its been war for 35+ years

        • Octoberfurst

          The trouble is the Dem leadership didn’t know it was in a war. I hope they wake up soon.

          • Fuck the leadership. They are worthless. Every win of late has been grassroots which is the only way any election is ever won. Don’t wait for the “leaders”. Just do it.

      • Christian1234567

        With 98% of the vote counted, it’s a 0.7% win for Jones at the moment. That makes me nervous. That means that there are enough uncounted votes (32,000) to possibly flip it to Moore the Molester, though it’s unlikely. However, Moore the Molester is probably going to demand a recount.

        • TampaZeke

          All of the outstanding votes are in Birmingham, where Jones is winning handily.

          • Christian1234567

            That’s really good news.

        • Todd20036

          The remaining votes are in a blue area. If anything, Jones will win by over 1%

          • Christian1234567

            I certainly hope he wins by over 1%. Right now there are 16,000 votes left, and Jones is ahead by 0.6%–his lead slipped even with the votes left being in a blue area. Edited to add: However, that will likely come back up, as TampaZeke pointed out the outstanding votes are in Birmingham.

      • Rambie

        How many want to bet they scream for a recount?

        • Treant

          No bet. I never bet on a sure thing.

          But it’s already out of recount range and Birmingham is still coming in. Them’s the laws, suck it, snowflakes.

          • Rambie

            Doesn’t mean they won’t cry for one

        • They can have a recount if we get an investigation into voter suppression efforts.

      • obarthelemy

        That was my reaction too: “Only by 1%?”. If it takes a moronic pedo perv for Dems to win by 1%, other races will be a tough win, unless reps keep up the crazy.

        • Todd20036

          It’s Alabama. Enough said.

        • Rillion

          A 1% win in Alabama is equal to a 30% win in a toss up state. I’ll take it.

      • Rillion

        Wait, weren’t you telling us how the Republicans were going to steal this election with vote counting shenanigans? What are the voices you pick up on your tin foil hat telling you now?

        • Treant

          They’re telling me to block your obnoxious fuckin’ ass, so I’ll listen to them.

          Besides, now explain the +6 to +1.5 erosion of estimates as the evening went on.

          Bye, bitch.

          • Todd20036

            Yeah. Skepticism is healthy given what we went though.

            I blocked him too.

          • Rillion

            I’m sorry if you don’t like to hear other progressive voices that aren’t inside your particular bubble.

          • Treant

            And I still think it was cheated. 🙂

          • Rillion

            You mean estimates based on speculation changed as actual votes came in? Huh. Sorry if calling you on your BS is “obnoxious”, but I don’t block people just because we have a difference of opinion. I apologize for the tin foil hat jab, but you were VERY adamant that the Republicans were going to steal this election, then after the Democrats won, you continue to downplay the fact that they over came a near 30 point partisan disadvantage to win this. Republicans are the enemy but not every single one is evil that is trying to steal elections. I agree that if Democrats turn out, we can win, even in red states, but the only reason we won this one is Republicans failed to turn out. Hopefully this is repeated in 2018.

      • And in a state with massive voter suppression efforts. They overcame a lot to win this (they meaning the decent people of Alabama). Give them some credit.

        • Kruhn

          In the words of Winston Churchill, “This is not the end, nor the beginning of the end, but perhaps the end of the beginning.”

          Why don’t we celebrate this victory tonight and tomorrow work harder to win and get more progressives elected?

      • Snarkaholic

        Don’t forget to factor in voter suppression…he actually won by more.

      • j.martindale

        Well, we dodged a bullet. Moore disdains any law but his superstitions. He is a dangerous zealot who has no right to be in a position of political power. And in a state historically known for its bad judgment–yes, Beauregard, I am talking about you–his loss is our gain.

    • MBear

      Go suck salvation army dick

    • james1200

      I am a cold cynical bastard and I am near tears and dancing to Dua Lipa with my roomie! OMG I’m so happy! Love u guys! Dance with us!

      https://youtu.be/wLjNTTCVat0

      • Kruhn

        I’ll use my favorite line from Queer As Folk. “My Dear, sweet Emmett, mourn the losses, for they are many, but celebrate the victories, for they are few.”
        https://youtu.be/vliAMxJ0tIs

    • Steverino

      Hope has been kept alive!

  • April

    Looks like the protest vote worked in our favor. For once.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      Maybe it’s the “I don’t want corporations to flee our state and people to continually call us child abuse cheerleaders” shame vote.

  • Reality.Bites

    P.S. I lied about resigning – Al Franken. /s not an actual quote.

  • DaddyRay

    Trump is 2 for 2 in picking the wrong candidate in Alabama

    • RobynWatts

      Wonder if his next tweet is Roy Who? Biggly loser!

    • Where?
      In ALA-FUCKING-BAMA!

  • IAMBOWLINGQUEEN
  • Sashineb

    Wow! I had almost given up hope. Best news I’ve heard in ages!!!!

  • JohnJay

    I’m worried about Sassy tonight. I can see Roy going out in a fit and beat that horse.

  • Ninja0980

    https://twitter.com/EsotericCD/status/940786401620168707
    Trump is still at the top of the ticket so they dodged one bullet but there are still plenty of guns left in the chamber.

    • William

      I don’t know what Jones’ actual position on abortion is, What I heard was absolute bullshit.

      • Zeldacat

        I don’t either, but I fail to think of how it could be worse than Moore’s.
        ETA: Oops. I thought that it was the other way around – that he was anti choice and that would hurt him with Dems. Silly me.

      • John30013

        “Doug Jones, the Democratic nominee in the Dec. 12 Senate election, said he supports Alabama’s abortion laws as they are, saying that people are “fairly comfortable” with the current law.”
        http://www.al.com/news/huntsville/index.ssf/2017/11/doug_jones_speaks_on_abortion.html

  • Reality.Bites

    Safe Republican seat count just dropped to zero.

    • Dramphooey

      Very good point.

  • Guess

    **Awaiting the hissyfit response from Twitler**

  • Lazycrockett

    Kamala Harris? do you hear the voice of the black vote. Run Girl.

    • Lazycrockett

      Bernie? do you hear the voice of the black vote. Bye Girl.

  • IAMBOWLINGQUEEN

    Huge, huge, bigly defeat for Trump and Bannon. Bigger than bigly.

    • David L. Caster

      Hugely. Massively.

  • TuuxKabin
  • DaddyRay

    Thanks Obama

    • johncAtl

      Yes thanks. And please come back!

  • safari

    Breitbart hasn’t created a new story. So, let’s look at the top of the evening:
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ff729ecc787cfccef898851e1ee04fa6f4e2393f1648f4f6910c9026b4ba13f9.png

  • MikeSEA

    Thank you Alabama for standing up for decency. Besides, Roy Moore would have been a TERRIBLE senator by any measure. He would have done nothing for the state.

  • Pluto Animus

    Once again, Republicans are forced to suck Barack Obama’s big, black dick.

    What a glorious day for Democracy!

  • Sam_Handwich

    well pinch my nipples and call me Gertrude

    • MB

      Just don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining.
      (Thanks Judge Judy)

      • Todd20036

        Unless you’re into that…

    • johncAtl

      Slut is easier to type. Oh wait, that’s my alternate user name.

    • Stogiebear

      Well, howdy there, Gertrude. Come here often?

    • Joe in PA

      I know, I know, but what should we do tonight that’s special?

    • KCMC

      Alice says that the brownies are done dear Gertrude

    • Paula

      You’d have to at least buy me dinner first.

  • Jay George

    It’s been so many years since one of my candidates won. I don’t know how to act.

    • Cuberly Deux

      Congratulations!

    • Sam_Handwich

      start by putting on your goggles and smock

    • Natty Enquirer

      Get busy supporting the next one.

    • DoctorDJ

      I remember the euphoria of ’92.
      And the despair of 2016.
      It’s never as bad (or as good) as it appears.
      The struggle will go on.

    • It has to be the same way I felt when the election was called for Bill Clinton all those years ago. I had to pinch myself.

      • Jay George

        Even when we win, they take it away from us. I was afraid it would be snatched away from Obama right up until he took the oath.

  • Natty Enquirer

    So, how long before Trump tweets that the election was rigged?

    • johncAtl

      Yesterday?

    • John30013

      No doubt, and yet Jones still won.

  • DaddyRay

    Anyone venture over to Breitbart yet

    • I will.
      (edited)
      I’m back. Eww that was gross.

      • johncAtl

        No! Didn’t you ever see Poltergeist? Run away Caroline!

        • John30013

          I think it was Carol Ann… 🙂

          • johncAtl

            I checked IMDB. You’re wrong. It was Carol Anne! 🙂

          • John30013

            I sit corrected 🙂

      • Treant

        Oh, dear. Here’s a toxic waste protection suit, and two condoms. Wear both.

      • Bluto

        Wear a cup.

    • fuzzybits

      Never have.

  • Dramphooey

    The Republican Party: “you mean I just rimmed a pedophile for nothing?”

  • William of Glynn

    Oh, my nerves!

  • MikeBx2
    • Natty Enquirer

      It’s the least you can do, Frank.

  • From 538:

    Doug Jones 598,027 49.6%
    Roy Moore 588,438 48.8%
    Write-ins 20,037 1.7%
    99% of precincts reporting

    Yep. Jones wins.

    • 538 is still updating of course but that’s not a lead Moore can recover from at this point.

  • William
  • John30013

    MSNBC is still calling it a horse race, but Jones is quickly gaining and it’s looking like he could win. Democratic turnout was up, and republican turnout was down. Black turnout was above expectations.

  • JoeMyGod
    • bkmn

      Let the infighting begin, and last a long time.

      • David L. Caster

        And be devastating.

    • Treant

      Pardon the yelling. YOUR FUCKING CANDIDATE FUCKS CHILDREN.

      (cough). But pray, continue with the backstabbing of each other.

    • Whoa…

      • E.J.

        Bannon did say at a rally that Harvard was a better school than U. of Alabama……thems fightin words

      • UrsusArctos 🐻

        I have told y’all JMGers for years that the South isn’t blood red. It’s purplish and a good candidate vs a bad one CAN work.
        Jones had to build his machine from scratch without national support, until it looked reallllly good. The national committees need to commit to Howard Dean’s program to grow the party NATIONWIDE. If us southern Democrats are written off and have no decent candidates the GOP will continue to hold control.
        EVERY race matters.

  • IAMBOWLINGQUEEN

    New York Times had it right from the beginning : real news.

  • Refugay

    Black voters kick Moore ass!!!

  • DaddyRay

    Can’t wait for Trump’s meltdown on Twitter

  • NZArtist

    Well bend me over a barrel and bugger me with a broom-handle.
    I was *not* expecting that result.

    • Reality.Bites

      Nevertheless you were pretty quick to come up with an appropriate personal consequence.

  • Charlie In SF

    How Delicious

  • fuzzybits

    It’s time for change Mississippi.

    • RobynWatts

      And South Carolina, Louisiana, Texas,….Hell, every blood red state!

    • UrsusArctos 🐻

      We have a SINGLE statewide elected Democrat. However it’s a similar situation to Alabama – a Trumptard vs a decent Democratic Attorney General. GOPer Chris McDaniels is as much of an assclown as Moore.
      What will make the difference is the SAME as in AL – ENERGIZING minority Democrats AND college educated white GOPers, particularly women.
      Believe it or not, that’s a possibility here.
      I HOPE National Democrats got the message.
      STOP WRITING THE SOUTH OFF.
      Most of the South can be purple in a high turnout election.
      Howard Dean saw this years ago.
      So those in the “Blue Bubbles” need to stop the shit talk and get behind candidates like some did this time.

  • safari

    When did *I* have hope? When a commenter here let us know that Mitch would proceed with an ethics complaint should Moore win. Our little Dino let me know that is how things work.

  • Cuberly Deux

    How does Steve remember all this? Sheesh! He’s a freaking dynamo!

  • April

    I can’t hardly wait for Trump to Tweet about this.

    You know it’s going to be crazy town.

    • DaddyRay

      All kinds of Cray Cray

    • bkmn

      You can bet Kelly is trying to keep his phone from him.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      I think he might stroke out. I’m not even trying to be funny.

      • Reality.Bites

        I believe the word is “optimistic.”

    • CB

      Or he’s going to ignore it completely. Or blame Moore. He has no responsibility to anyone.

  • Dan M

    EAt shit and die, Roy.

  • bkmn

    Spending the bulk of the campaign money on GOTV works. Glad the DNC learned this lesson.

  • MB
  • TimCA

    And Roy Moore and every thing he stands for was the officially endorsed candidate of Donald Trump and financially supported by the national Republican Party. Even in defeat Roy Moore is STILL the face of the Republican Party. Hang it around the GOP’s collective neck. NEVER let them forget!!!!!

  • Guess
  • IAMBOWLINGQUEEN

    Janet Porter…. your lies let you down.

  • CB

    Turnout counts.
    We must all remember that as we move into next year. And do all we can to get people to the polls. It can save the democracy.

  • Megrim Twist

    RESIST THE LIES!
    RESIST
    RISE UP!

  • Lazycrockett
  • greenmanTN

    Thank you, Jambi! I stayed out of the election results thread for the most part. That kind of “Well this place reported and Moore is +.05” stuff drives me nuts. I just wanted the final results.

    HALLELUJAH!

  • DaddyRay

    ha – they already are throwing Moore under the bus blaming him for dragging Trump into this

    • clay

      Trump wasn’t drafted, for this or anything else.

  • worstcultever

    Tuesday night pep squad!

    Two bits
    Four bits, hey
    Six bits
    a dolla!
    All for SENATOR GODDAMN FUCKING DOUG THE FUCK JONES
    stand up and holla!

    *wooooooooo-hooooooooooo*

  • ErickMN

    Congratulations everyone! WOW!

  • BeaverTales

    Unreal…He showed not only the GOP, but the Democrats that a DEM can win in a deep red state. The black voters deserve their share of kudos for proving everyone wrong!

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      They totally deserve major credit.

    • Cuberly Deux

      Black turnout won this, just flat out no denying it.

      • Do Something Nice

        Thanks Obama!

  • houstonray

    I’m SO happy, we needed this, SO SO much.

    Oh the coming days tweets from Trump are going to be epic…..

  • bkmn

    Bannon is becoming toxic. Trump is becoming toxic. The GOP is going to be fighting about this for a long time.

    • clay

      OOohh! Another postmortem report for them to ignore!

  • Sam_Handwich

    Dotard will not be pleased

  • Lazycrockett

    The DNC needs to finally tell white rurals to fuck off and embrace the black vote enthusastically.

  • FAEN

    FUCK YOU MOORE!
    FUCK YOU BANNON!
    FUCK YOU TRUMP!

    • bkmn

      and the Mercers, and the Kochs and the Adelsons

    • Cuberly Deux

      That’s basically what this is. Bigly!

    • Paula

      Hat Trick!

      • FAEN

        😉😉

  • OMFG… the GOP leadership is saying they hope Jones will vote with them.

    • Lawerence Collins

      Let’s hope he’s not for sale

    • fuzzybits

      I have a finger if they’re looking.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      Bitches, please. They sure as hell didn’t fund his campaign or vote for him.

    • clay

      [giggle]

    • charemor

      Now that is just god damned funny.

  • Hue-Man
  • William of Glynn

    That Steve Kornacki is hypnotic.

    • bkmn

      but overdressed

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    “STEVE BANNON CAN SUCK IT.”

    Remember Joe, according to the Mooch, he does, quite a lot if memory serves.

    Bahahahahahaha

  • TheManicMechanic

    Jones needs now needs to have with him a personal security force at all times. Those gun-masturbating nutcases infesting that state will have a bone to pick with him for sure, even though it’s for the better overall.

    • Friday

      Enough Dominionists to worry about, but I bet there’s a significant number of Repugs that are probably just as glad not to have to defend the guy being so blatant on a national stage anymore, cause they found out just what the rest of the world thinks of them, just maybe.

      • TheManicMechanic

        There seem to be more than a few right-leaning moderate Republicans that hate the current shitshow among the wingnuts and Chrisianists infesting the right. I’m sure a lot of them are breathing a big sigh of relief.

        • Friday

          Probably about all they’ll do, but them just staying home could do.

    • clay

      Those three mosque-bombers in western Kansas, for instance, conspiring for the day after the election.

  • safari

    Oh, Freepers
    *Begin the conspiracy! Just not Russian. The — other one!*
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ac0a4ef714a8361447c26ae43edad680b8cec505b9771803d8e6d1da263bf3bd.png

  • Ninja0980

    https://twitter.com/jpodhoretz/status/940786027358314497
    Right wing guy but he’s right.
    And the folks making excuses about Moore could also talk about the 2010 election where Scott Brown beat a very flawed Democratic candidate.
    People made the same excuses then but make no mistake, next year isn’t going to be pretty for the GOP one bit.

    • Reality.Bites

      Sure, maybe Strange or whatever his name is would have won 55 to 45. But for Alabama that SUCKS. At minimum you can take 5% off any Republican’s percentage.

  • Cuberly Deux

    Can we see the Roy Moore holy roller concession speech?

    • KCMC

      Confession, please.

  • FlKeysKevin

    Another reason for Trump to regret appointing Sessions!!

    • MikeBx2

      I hope this is the beginning of a long line of regrets for him.

    • Todd20036

      Indeed! That’s going to hurt.

      Sessions was as racist as Moore, but at least he didn’t (get caught) fuck children.

  • Publius

    Holy shit. Alabama?

    • clay

      Did you see the Georgia race? The GOP is so insecure about that win that they’re covering it up, and then in Virginia?

  • halfwaythere

    I honestly did not expect Jones to win. My 80-year old mom (big ol’ Democrat in Texas) and I are texting about the election. Woo hoo!!

  • another_steve
  • Michael R

    When will the queen of ” rigged ” chime in ?

  • Megrim Twist

    YES! AMAZING! CONDRAGULATIONS ALABAMA GOD DAMN!

  • safari

    I will *eat* Roy’s concession speech.

    • clay

      because you’re on a diet?

  • Dreaming Vertebrate

    Once again, women and African American voters come together and save the day.

  • CB

    I was out for a lovely evening with dear friends from college. I almost shielded my eyes as I signed on here. Huge relief and cause for celebration.

    Jones isn’t perfect, but maybe people will finally learn that perfect is impossible. Let’s go with best guy for the job now.

  • Mike_Bernard

    Oh! Muhgawd!!! Merry Christmas!!!!

  • Friday’s_cat

    The fat lady hasn’t sung. Wait until all votes are counted and hope the spread is > 1%. Any recounts and Moore will magically win.

    • William

      Watch out for Box 13.

    • safari

      Except, here, the models *failed* in *our* favor.

    • TominDC

      It’s 0.5%, isn’t it?

      • Leo

        yeah

        • Friday’s_cat

          I had heard 1% my bad. I’m just thinking back to what happened to Franken and how repubs don’t want Jones seated until after the tax cut vote.

      • Natty Enquirer

        For the automatic recount. I don’t know if a candidate can sue to force one.

  • William

    Since this is a special election, when does Jones take over?

    • Good question. It’s my impression that Jones takes over the moment the vote is settled. But I don’t know the law.

    • Treant

      Per Becca, after Christmas. So Strange still has time to vote Yes on the tax bill.

    • bkmn

      can be sworn in shortly after the results are certified by the state

    • clay

      When McConnell lets him.

      • AmeriCanadian

        McConnell is on record stating that “whoever” wins won’t be seated this year.

    • BeaverTales

      After Moore files for multiple recounts, most likely. If the voter margin is less than 1%, the state will pay for it, and that’s the part where the cheating must be watched.

      • Friday

        I’m still hoping someone reports what the remaining precincts say: it seems it was all urban districts yet to come in when it was called, so it may well be more than enough. Certainly, it seems, no *automatic* recount.

    • Chris H.

      They just mentioned that on MSNBC. McTurtle already said earlier today whoever won would not be sworn in until next session.

  • Friday

    Haha, Drumph, the Republicans in general, and especially the Christian Right just found out there are limits in the world after kissing that Fundie creep’s arse for months. 🙂 Get ready to filibuster the tax giveaway theft till he’s in, Dems. 🙂

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    I’ve seen analysis stating that a Doug Jones win means that the GOP is more likely to turn on Trump and poop on Bannon.

    • Treant

      True. Plus with only 51 votes in the Senate, they can’t afford any defections. One requires Pence to vote. Two and it’s game over.

      • Jean-Marc in Canada

        And from what we’ve seen, there are a couple who are ready to jump ship.

        • Treant

          Collins has to be crapping her Underalls right now.

      • JohnJay

        I hate to say this, but John McCain may become incapacitated in the next several months or so. I’ve known two people with his type of cancer, and things can happen at any time.

        • MBear

          Hate to say it? Some of us are looking forward to it

        • Treant

          From your lips to Satan’s ears, I hear he’s getting tired of waiting.

          Imprecatory? You’re damned right.

    • bkmn

      Yes this should accelerate the infighting.

    • Randy503

      I’d like to see them try to destroy medicare and medicaid now.

  • IAMBOWLINGQUEEN

    This brings impeachment closer and closer…

  • Guess

    I’ll need a new F5 button tomorrow from refreshing JMG. #TheSadz

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    I don’t mean to be that guy but….oh fuck, I can’t keep straight face typing that….

    https://twitter.com/sirlthr69/status/940789416142000129

    • He’s going to need a few liters of diet Coke to wash that crow down!

    • charemor

      Another kick to Trumps tiny nuts.

    • RobynWatts

      “Gud pess tee Uaned Saees ud Ammericud”

  • Dreaming Vertebrate

    Thank you Alabama – and welcome to the 21st century!

    • MBear

      20th

      • Dreaming Vertebrate

        I was gonna say 19th, but that just sounded mean.

        • MBear

          Its Alabama. Mixing numbers and letters in a sentence confuses them

    • Clive Johnson

      That might take another 100 years.

  • MikeBx2
    • houstonray

      Poor Sassy!

      • BJORN RAGNVALDR

        Sassy brought him to a smack down as is Sassys wont.

    • matrem

      Ahhh!

  • Sam_Handwich

    i’m sleepy. will try to stay up. but i’m having a tough time imagining Moore’s speech.

    • Dramphooey

      I’d like to hear from his county commissioner friend.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      I want Moore to either fully transform into a Lovecratian Deep one or reveal a 666 on his forehead.

    • another_steve

      Sleep well tonight, Sam.

      Tonight, at least, beauty has prevailed.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36_zm6JkIJI

  • Sam

    This win is going to boost Democratic recruiting for the 2018 midterms. No doubt.

    • matrem

      And deter gop voters from
      Showing up.

  • safari

    Gods. I want to watch Sarah cry tomorrow.

    Or the day after. The “tax bill” will be be rammed through so “someone” can talk about how great it is after the “technical fixes” tomorrow.

    Eat her, press. Politely. Put a pinky up. She’s a lady.

    • safari

      I worry about making crude comments like this about her sexuality.

      Then, I realize, I’m just bringing it forward. I might mean eating her pie.

      • BJORN RAGNVALDR

        She probably eats pie and cries after every press conference. ‘Why dont they like me?’

      • edrex

        only a mind in the gutter would think otherwise.

  • Nychta

    Guess I can let my guard down (for the moment) and get some sleep.
    https://twitter.com/BerniceKing/status/940789334143393793

  • Is it sad that I was in disbelief that Roy Moore lost? I was sure, with the way this country is heading, the child molesting homophobic slaver was gonna win. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7df814557b6d06c6cc79f671f110ad423228ce75614ef6d57bf85b0c76f4a012.gif

    • Friday

      I was expecting more-successful Republican cheating, but this is pretty big, considering how very far red that state usually leans.

  • Chris H.
  • rig500

    I’m so happy I may go to church on Sunday!

  • That_Looks_Delicious
    • N876

      It likely meant bad turnout more than anything. But at this point, I’ll take it.

  • edrex

    my. fucking. god. just finished episode 5 of “the crown” and THIS happened in the meantime? wow. i would raise a toast if i hadn’t had a couple of strong manhattans already. dare i feel some hope?

  • N876

    Yeah, sex is cool but have you tried watching a Democrat win a Senate seat in Alabama?

  • Guess
    • Cuberly Deux

      ^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      Sighs. There are so many creepy white women who want to be the creepy enforcers in a Republic of Gilead.

      • matrem

        It won Ann Dowd an Emmy, so….

      • Friday

        (Or leave freaking Alabama. Really sometimes it seems half the white people I know seem to have left there or similar places. )

    • Well, no surprise about the white men, but damn white ladies, have a little self respect and don’t vote for a child molester!

    • Nychta
    • Bryan

      And in the Upsidedown, Laura Ingram is reporting that Mitch McConnell is to blame for Moore’s loss.

      • Rambie

        Good, let them in-fight and fracture the GOP’ers even more!

      • I hate McConnell so their attacks on him are like ALL the Schadenfreude.

      • Todd20036

        I’m sure McConnell did Nazi that critique coming from Ingram

    • MBear

      White people are just horrid

      • Joe Maynard

        Many are, some aren’t. Large AA turnout for Jones was absolutely necessary, but not sufficient.

    • JCF
  • DaddyRay
  • Jay George

    Trae Crowder is going Hallelujah on a live feed right now.

  • Phil in Colorado

    Excellent! Congratulations Doug Jones!

  • DaddyRay
    • johncAtl

      I suspect your paws are beating beneath the table.

  • Happy day, oh happy happy day!

  • Bluto
  • Dayglo
    • safari

      404/x emotion not found.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      I look at that and think he cries pure alcohol or liquid meth.

      • houstonray

        I figure it would burn a hole through the floor, like in Alien…

  • Sam

    SO MUCH WINNING!!!!

  • MSNBC finally called it for Jones.

    • johncAtl

      I think it was actually NBC News, which is even better.

    • Sam

      He’s the “apparent” winner.

  • AmeriCanadian

    So how interesting that turtle proclaimed this morning that “whoever” wins the Alabama senate election won’t be seated until next year. Coincidence? Or did he know something in advance? When I heard that I was positive Jones was going to win.

    http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/mitch-mcconnell-alabamas-new-senator-wont-be-seated-this-year/article/2643267

    • Treant

      I expect lawsuits and delays. Like Franken, they’ll seat him in July. Maybe. After 2,000 Republican women accuse him of grabbing pieces of them.

      • johncAtl

        I think we’re reaching the point where the Republican strategy of the last 30+ years is about to backfire on them. Donald Trump may well destroy the U.S. as we know it, but he’s probably going to destroy the GOP first.

        • AmeriCanadian

          One thing is for sure…Drumpf has changed the face of politics forever.

    • Friday

      NOthing to lose when they had a right-wing appointee in there already.

  • Chris

    Here’s where I am tonight. Christmas has come e https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e2606ab5675ea1c146a278b3ba8eddd87902c8ca3ab27efc516d826b4484dbc1.png arly for me twice!

  • DaddyRay
  • bkmn
  • Treant

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Senate_election_in_Alabama,_2014

    Wow, from running unopposed and scoring the seat Sessions +97%, we just went to Democrat Jones +1.0% or so, a 98-point shift.

    Yes, I know that’s a false number due to running unopposed, but…

  • GayOldLady

    What a great day! We CAN win in the South if the GOP keeps fielding nutcase candidates and if the Democrats invest the money. Trump has fucked the pooch with his support for Moore and the entire Country sees it. Trump is finished

    • Jamie_Johnson

      From your lips!

    • bkmn

      But Fox won’t let them run sane candidates

  • safari

    Billbear. Billbear. I *need* music. Now. Make me feel — happy. Please.

  • MBI

    Oh no, I hope Moore isn’t going to take his own life after this surprising defeat.

    • safari

      His gravy is IV fed. He’ll be fine. Until he’s put in the pokey for fraud.

    • Sam_Handwich

      he says he’ll be going to work for the Girl Scouts

      • MBear

        Trolling…trolling… not “work”

    • JohnJay

      Nah. Just stomp out to the barn in a huff and beat Sassy.

      • Treant

        Beat off on. If Sassy is under 14 and female, that is.

    • Natty Enquirer

      Maybe he can become a TV judge on CBN.

  • Natty Enquirer
    • Cuberly Deux

      Ha!

    • bkmn

      Yet he could vote for that stinking tax bill

  • DaddyRay

    We Won an off cycle Special Election, in December, in Alabama
    See what happens when Democrats show up

    • Lazycrockett

      Blacks.

      • DaddyRay

        Yes – a special thanks to the black community who organized and showed up

  • Misutaa Roboto

    w00t w00t!

    This is the best news I’ve heard in such a long time.

    Never thought I’d say this, but way to go, Alabama!

  • royinhell

    And may he disappear into our court system, answer to the many, many things he’s done, and never shame the name of Roy again.

    • RobynWatts

      No Moore… 🙂

    • Treant

      My husband is named Donald.

      • royinhell

        There are a lot of Donalds, but not many Roys… and when the name is used for a character, they’re an ignorant redneck or other asshole 99% of the time, so let me have this one.

  • JackFknTwist

    I’ve been watching all night.
    I’m in a state of nervous euphoria.
    It’s worse than watching Manchester United on a bad day !
    But Jones, Alabama did it.
    Can we say goodbye dumb Tax Bill ?
    Can we say goodbye evil Bannon?
    Can we say f uck you Trump/turd ?

  • Ninja0980

    The GOP thinks they dodged a bullet but with Trump on the ticket, they will still be in for a bruising.

    • Treant

      Given their support of Moore, they’re still on the hook.

      “The party that brought you a child fucker and supported him with money and time…”

  • Jean-Marc in Canada
    • Let’s also not forget: Every race Trump touches, he damages or destroys.

      • bkmn

        Everything he touches, he damages or destroys

        • Skeptical_Inquirer

          He’s the reverse Midas.

          • bkmn

            amplified

          • UrsusArctos 🐻

            Merdeas

          • Todd20036

            He’s got the Sadim touch.

        • carrot festival

          Then here’s hoping the Twitler keeps touching himself.

      • Refugay

        When Trump becomes a political liability (now) they will abandon him in droves. We’ve been waiting for this day. This loss makes the Gillibrand tweet today important. They may use this to turn on him.

        • Rambie

          Waiting for that day, yes! Is today that day? Time will tell as we’ve been fooled before.

      • Rillion

        I love that he backed the loser in the primary and then the loser in the general. I guess he did get tired of “winning”! 🙂

    • Treant

      I’m really not comfortable with the crowing just yet. The Republicans still have some time to magically discover 300,000 votes across the state.

      • Stephen Elliot Phillips

        The plutoes will spend a fortune fighting this . BUT hehe. Still drama drama with the trumps.

      • Jean-Marc in Canada

        True, but sometimes you just have to go there, if but for a moment in time.

    • Davester

      good one

    • Dreaming Vertebrate

      That’s a crushing loss for both two-shirts Bannon and two-scoops Donnie!!
      HA-ha!

    • Rambie

      The vote was too close to be “crushing” wasn’t it?

      • Jean-Marc in Canada

        The vote count itself isn’t what’s crushing, it that Bannon et al were so self-assured of the win.

  • Jerry Kott

    I am teary eyed. My cup is half full, drink up!

  • halfwaythere

    Not that it’s a bad thing, but it’s not even six PM here in Honolulu and I’m DRUNK….

    • Davester

      first big cold front of winter comin’ thru on the east coast…so jealous of the Honolulu part!

  • Snarky

    As this is the first night of Chanukah, it’s a very bittersweet night for Roy Moore’s lawyer. 🙂

  • worstcultever

    We needed this so, so much. GAH what joy and relief

    SUCH a gut punch to the dotard

  • IAMBOWLINGQUEEN
  • Lazycrockett
  • Dramphooey

    Breitbart is streaming Moore’s party on YouTube. I wonder if anything is going to happen.

    • bkmn

      Not until they take Roy’s gun away

  • Cuberly Deux

    Steve’s worked so hard, he needs a back rub. I hereby volunteer.

    • John30013

      Steve Bannon? Eww!

      Steve Kornacke? OK.

      🙂

      • Cuberly Deux

        Kornacke of course!

        OMFG! Bannon? (urp)

  • Outlaw Woman

    I like that write-ins was 1.7% … much much greater than the normal in any election.

    I would like to extend a nice Democratic thank-you to republican senator Shelby for giving a nice strategy to those repubs who couldn’t vote for Jones but would not vote for Moore.

    • johncAtl

      Trump hasn’t been hard in 30 years.

      • Mike in NC

        Then how do you explain Barron? Oh, that’s right, I forgot about turkey basters!

        • johncAtl

          “Turkey baster.” Is that Melania’s nickname for Don, Jr.?

      • Rillion

        He may overestimate his wealth, but he can afford Viagra and if you’ve seen a picture of his doctor, you know that quack keeps Pez dispensers loaded with V in his desk to hand out to his clients, er I mean patients.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      He really should have listened to Ivanka. (this is one of the few times I’ll give her a crumb of credit.)

  • Just Noh
    • Hank

      L” Chaim!!!

    • pj

      as if.

  • Bryan

    We’re coming for your congressional seats one creepy pederast dude at a time.

  • worstcultever

    As the people’s president saith: “When we vote, we win.”

  • Jamie Brewer

    The last time I flew my American flag was veterans day 2016 to honour my mom and dad who both served in Europe. The Orange Turds administration has so soiled what the US stands for I have kept it packed away. I will have it on display tomorrow morning. This election has given the first bit of hope in over a year of despair…

    • Dreaming Vertebrate

      The pendulum has crested and started to swing back the other way towards decency and hope.

      • Man, I hope you are right!!

  • blackstar
  • Alpha 50327

    Wow. I am very suprised. I hereby rescind my blanket damnation of all Alabamans. You managed to clear the very low bar of not electing the 2nd biggest piece of shit ever to run for high office. We’ll take any win we can get. Thank you for that. Now show me you learned something and re-elect him for a full term.

  • Canadian Observer

    Absolutely fascinated to see Moore’s concession speech.

    • Anastasia Beaverhousen

      I think it will be “fuck y’all and you kids. Never mind I already have”

      • UrsusArctos 🐻

        I can’t wait to make my next delivery to Gadsden. There will be MUCHO dirt flung and my customer there is on the gossip grapevine below the graft. If it happens in Etowah county, he knows it.

    • another_steve

      Something like “commie fag leftist pinkos stole the vote from us.”

  • bkmn

    Hopefully we will have more nights like this since Fox and the right wing media won’t allow sane candidates to run.

  • DaddyRay

    Dear:
    – Trump
    – Bannon
    – Racists
    – Anti-LGBT
    – Bigots

    List of Burn Centers in the United States
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_burn_centers_in_the_United_States

    • UrsusArctos 🐻

      They got food poisoning from eating their own dog food as well.

  • Joe Maynard

    For the first time in a very long time, I am actually looking forward to the next excretion from Twitler.

    • N876

      Roy Moore? I barely know the guy! I didn’t even endorse him. He would have won if he had accepted the help I offered! Sad!

    • another_steve

      Love for “next excretion from Twitter.”

  • MikeBx2
  • Welcome to 2017 Alabama! Don’t be afraid white folks, it really will be ok.

    • UrsusArctos 🐻

      Remember, even Alabama and Mississippi are 40%+ Democratic. With decent candidates and support from the party they CAN win. It’s time for the shit talk to back off and the fighting the GOP with every tool available, even if you say we talk funny. 😜

  • houstonray
    • safari

      Next year is the year of cuts to the safety net per Ryan.

      Oh — so much I *will* say to *regular* voters… this holiday season. I’m done.

      • edrex

        say it!

  • Dan Patterson

    What a nice Christmas present. This actually gives me hope for the country again. Maybe we can turn this nightmare around. Long way to go, though.

  • bkmn

    This was the result with Roy spending the last few weeks only having gatherings in “safe” areas. Imagine if he had gone into unfriendly territory and pissed off more people

  • Guess

    “I think I’ve been waiting all my life, and now I don’t know what the hell to say.”

    lmao

  • DaddyRay
    • UrsusArctos 🐻

      It’s a nice tweet, but for the fact that the Clinton machine killed Howard Dean’s 50 state program. It’s sadly ironic that it took her loss for her to get religion and acknowledge EVERY seat/office is worth fighting for.
      A preemptive note. I voted for her so, it’s not shit talk to point out the HUGE thing I dislike about her.

      • That_Looks_Delicious

        That was not the “Clinton machine”. Quit with the BS Clinton-hating. The Dems starting moving away from Howard Dean’s 50 State Strategy when Obama, Pelosi and Reed were in charge.

        But regardless of whatever the higher ups in the party do, it always comes down to recruiting. Many of the races that were upset wins for the Dems in November were won by people who had never run for political office before, who ran because they were furious about Trump. Some were won in districts where no Democrat had even bothered to run in several cycles. In a way, Trump is the best candidate-recruiting tool that the Democrats have ever had.

  • Guess

    Marriage equality supporter wins on his 25th wedding anniversary. Noice!

  • April

    I think the Republicans are deep down counting their lucky stars. If Moore had won he would be an Albatross hanging around the GOP’s neck.

  • Hank

    Looking at the TOTAL write-ins, which most likely were Rethuglicans who could not go for Moore as Sen. Shelby did. @ 20,000 votes walked away from Moore. That would have been enough to defeat Jones.

  • Lazycrockett

    His son is a cutie.

    • Oscarlating Wildely

      Yep, thought the same.

    • Prost Seattle

      His beard needs some of my essence.

    • Hank

      That is the type of Southern Redneck I would like to meet in the woods!!!

  • That_Looks_Delicious
    • safari

      “I will assist with Moore’s charges… now that it is over. By minutes. Someone said. Not that I told them. But, I stand strong.”

  • JRDC

    To ALL of you who told me earlier that this meant NOTHING. Eat my big, throbbing, FAT, crow!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/63676086c7dc0d84c98838c67ca1137aed4d3fbcf4a560d8b29b06991ff68805.png

  • DaddyRay

    When I am wrong, I admit it

    I am so F’ing happy I was wrong

    • worstcultever

      I was right but who fucking cares! Dance party!

    • Alpha 50327

      Me too.

  • MB
    • Paula

      Extremely appropriate. Thank you for posting it.

  • Cuberly Deux

    That Ari Fleischer tweet ain’t gonna age well.

    • JRDC

      FUCK Ari!!!!! Scumbag asshole, pos!

      • Cuberly Deux

        Exactly.

  • Michael R
  • another_steve

    Fellow Americans: The best is yet to come.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AILVyd310-w

  • drbrentzenobia

    Fuck Roy Moore and the horse he rode in on.

    OK, maybe not Sassy.

    • DaddyRay

      Moore is probably into that too

    • Secure

      SASSY is innocent!

  • Jeffrey
    • Dreaming Vertebrate

      Lol !

  • Jay George
  • safari

    Now.

    Let us take a moment to hear how this election was compromised. Because of course. This will be spun *so hard*.

  • bkmn
    • Oscarlating Wildely

      MAGA, bitches.

      • Snarkaholic

        Moore Annihilated, Gays Appreciative

    • Deep down, I find myself wishing at times this is a real Twitter account.

    • halfwaythere

      This makes me so happy. I don’t like what it says about me that it does, but…..suck it, bitches.

    • Prost Seattle

      So….so…very….gratifying.

    • Treant

      Wait a second, you expect me to believe that Bannon is ever sober, or reasonably close?

      • Skeptical_Inquirer

        Maybe it takes multiple bottles to get him to the extremely part. Otherwise he’s in a relatively mild alcoholic haze otherwise.

    • William

      When isn’t Bannon drunk?

      • Cuberly Deux

        That was my first thought. When is he sober?

      • coram nobis

        More so than usual tonight?

    • Ningsisa

      Their tears and misery make me smile.

  • Paula

    I wonder if Roy Moore will be gracious enough to give a concession speech?
    Awww, who am I kidding, there is no good in him.

    • Dramphooey

      LOL.

    • N876

      I hope for their sake that there aren’t any children present if he does. He no longer needs to be on his best behavior.

    • bkmn

      Magic 8 ball says no

    • William

      Never!

    • johncAtl

      He’s in the barn having some private time with Sassy right now.

    • Ningsisa

      Illegal voters! Fake news! Deep state! The Establishment!

    • MikeBx2

      Maybe his wife will announce that their “Jew” attorney will be looking into this election result.

    • Lazycrockett

      He will pull out his pistol. Betcha money on that.

      • Paula

        As long as he uses it on himself, I am O.K. with that.

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    Oh, man, the late night show hosts are totally going to clown Trump over this.

    • johncAtl

      Too bad they taped six hours ago. But, there’s always tomorrow.

  • coram nobis
  • Ian

    Doug Jones victory..

    Yea yea yea, but like who is the cute boy in the back there?

    • Dramphooey

      I think his son.

      • Ian

        Think so too..Married and all, but nice family.

  • Cuberly Deux

    Good for him.

  • DaddyRay

    This almost makes up for the loss of Al Franken

    • Stephen Elliot Phillips

      Almost.

  • Lazycrockett

    Wonder who drew the short straw and had to tell Drumpf.

    • DaddyRay

      That poor intern

      • safari

        I’m well beyond caring about interns who have had a *year* to escape.

        • That_Looks_Delicious

          LOL. All they had to do was follow Spicer or Nunes at a discrete distance to find the escape path through the bushes.

    • safari

      “Your wealth is strong. They are wrong. I must inform you they resist you.”

    • Oscarlating Wildely

      Tiffany.

      And she laughed her Prada covered ass off.

    • That_Looks_Delicious

      He’s probably watching Fox.

      No, I take that back. He’s probably watching CNN right now and tomorrow will deny it, then call them names and talk about what they said that he claimed he didn’t watch.

      • edrex

        which means he doesn’t know yet.

  • LookielouE1707

    Perhaps roy moore’s slavery comments hurt him more than we realized. Anyway, a clear lesson here is that from here on out mobilizing nonwhite voters must be a paramount priority. We need more obamas.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      I think also he’s against women voting which I think did irk at least some women as well.

    • edrex

      yes. YES. YES!

  • Sam

    Here’s the live feed for the Roy Moore headquarters. With the exception of the religious music, it is kind of quiet. HA HA!

    https://www.facebook.com/JudgeRoyMoore/videos/714738185391082/

    • pch1013

      I like it when bad people are sad.

    • Dramphooey

      Some hymn singing fool who can barely detach from his phone.

  • JCF

    YEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!

  • misterjack

    HAHAHAHAHA!!! So glad I read this before beddy-bye time. I will sleep like a baby, tonight! Suck it, perv Rethugs, you’re going DOWN, DOWN, DOWN!

  • BartmanLA

    Can’t wait to see Trumps Tweet in about 5 hours… his middle of the night rage is always more unhinged than the daylight ones! It’s gonna be epic I’m sure!

    • safari

      Oh, it won’t be that late. Stand by.

  • JCF
    • Stubenville

      Wait; is that Jeebus or Conchita Wurst?

      • pj

        if you have to ask…..

      • JCF

        Yes!

    • BJORN RAGNVALDR

      Mother Conchita, Prioress, monastery of the old rugged cross dresser.

  • Nychta
  • DaddyRay

    I wish I could stay home tomorrow and watch the White House Press Briefing

    • Stubenville

      Sarah Ham Biscuit’s head will spin around like Linda Blair’s, then she’ll deny that Cheetolini ever supported that looser Roy Moore.

  • MikeBx2
    • Stubenville

      He’s a conservative whack job. He’ll complain for the rest of his life how Northern libruls interfered in the election.

  • Treant

    OK, I’m gonna down the muscle relaxant the neurologist gave me. I’ll still be awake, but incredibly chill. 🙂

    Then I’ll go sniff the soap.

    • Stubenville

      If it’s cyclobenzaprine (Flexeril) it’s probably gonna make you sleepy.

      • Treant

        Zanaflex, and only 2 mg, with normal dose being 12. We’re actually using it for the side effect of reducing chronic migraines.

        • Stubenville

          Oh, those are ugly. I hope it works.

          • Treant

            You’re not the only one. 🙂

  • bkmn
  • johncAtl

    Doug Jones is speaking way too fast. Jeff Sessions thinks he’s speaking a foreign language.

    • Lazycrockett

      “You are confusing me, with this fast talk?”

    • Rob NYNY

      Speaking slowly is such a Southern thing. I went to college with a guy from Georgia who spoke so slowly that we finally had to tell him: “Look, our attention wanders in the long silences between your words. You’ve got to talk faster or no one will ever stay focused long enough to hear a complete sentence come out of your mouth.”

  • Stubenville

    Fingers crossed that this is supported by the official count.

  • JoeMyGod

    Doug Jones just announced that tonight is his 25th wedding anniversary. The traditional gift is silver but a Senate seat is PURE GOLD!

  • IAMBOWLINGQUEEN
    • MikeBx2

      I freaking love her.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      If they’re not decaffeinated, he must have a case of runs on top of rotting his teeth with the carbonation.

  • Lazycrockett

    I like this guy, hes a good man.

  • DaddyRay

    After this tough year we totally deserved this win tonight

    May there be many more to come

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      I’m hoping that at least we get rid of a lot of CA GOP House Reps especially after they went along with killing the state-local tax deductions.

    • johncAtl

      Trump is pushing the middle back to the Democrats. There may be hope yet.

  • bkmn

    Word is they are going to try to hammer out a compromise tax bill this next week, before Jones is seated.

    • Rillion

      McTurtle has already said that they wouldn’t allow Jones into the Senate until after the break at the end of the year. He’s going to slow turtle walk Strange’s exit out of the Senate so that he can get Strange’s vote on the tax plan.

    • John30013

      MSNBC is reporting that McTurtle stated earlier today that whoever wins the AL senate election would not be seated until the new year. He seemed to be hedging his bets (prophetically, it turns out) by keeping Luther Strange in the seat and assuring a GOP vote for the gawd-awful tax scam.

      • Friday’s_cat

        Thing is there are going to be some republicans looking over their shoulder. Trump just might lose some yes votes over this.

  • JCF

    I walked in the house (no result on the radio), turned on the TV, and saw Jones, w/ the headline.

    Then scared the BEJESUS out of my 97 yo dad, w/ my ecstatic screaming!!!

    • Cuberly Deux

      Some pretty awesome news to come home to. 😉

    • misterjack

      Hahahaha!

  • Ian

    Meanwhile, at the roy moore campaign, they’re singing fucking hymns…

    • Of course they are.

      “Suffer the little children…”

      • johncAtl

        Suffer Fondle the little children…”

    • Oscarlating Wildely

      Yea, they did that on the Titanic, too. Fat lot of good that did.

      Sing away, assholes.

    • coram nobis

      A Mighty Donald Is Our Lord

    • Dramphooey

      Tuneless garbage and he doesn’t even know the words. Why would you go on a stage and sing a song you don’t know?

    • RobynWatts

      I got one for them:

      https://youtu.be/W_UxlayuJpk

      • Damn! Thanks so much for posting this, my brain had totally forgotten The Temptations! Lovely!!

        For some unknown reason, this song wound up my puppy! She is running around like fool, and barking.

    • Dramphooey

      They threw them off the stage!

  • Gerald Parks

    LOSER
    Dotard 45 is a LOSER …again!
    He is a LOSER!
    LOSER he is!
    OMG …such a LOSER!

    • another_steve

      HUGE loser.

      Melania… as he attempts, once again, to rape you tonight… say it loud and and say it proud…

      LOSER !!!

      • Gerald Parks

        She could just turn the tv to The BIGGEST LOSER!
        Personally I’ve never watched the show and not sure if its still on or what it is about.
        But I am sure it could star Dotard 45.
        The writers can do that …can’t they?

    • A “bigly” “beautiful” “sad” loser!!!

      • Gerald Parks

        YES …soooo SAD!

  • TampaZeke

    12/12/2017

    The night they burned ole Dixie down!

    • Oh! Wouldn’t it be fan-freaking-tastic, if finally in 2018 Dixie finally drew her last gasp and went onto the ass heap of failed ideas?

  • Rillion

    FUCK YA!!!!!

  • Clive Johnson

    Freaks! They’re singing religious songs at Moore’s rally headquarters.

    • coram nobis

      “Shall We Drown Us In The River?”

      • Treant

        That Young, Smoothened Cross

        • misterjack

          Downward, Xtian Losers!

    • another_steve

      Jesus ain’t interested.

      He’s jerking off at the moment.

      • matrem

        Me too

        • another_steve

          I already did.

          My husband wasn’t interested, so I said “fuck you.”

        • another_steve

          Well that’s because you’re a moral decrepitude.

          Or something.

    • Clive Johnson

      “Let’s keep praying and singing…” <—just now.

      • Stubenville

        Thoughts and prayers; when you care to do the very least.

  • Comixbear

    on the plus side: Jones won.
    on the minus side: TOO MANY FUCKING IDIOTS WERE ON MOORE’S SIDE

  • Lazycrockett

    Dr. King quote, Drumpf just threw something.

  • safari

    “THE STATE WITH STRONG SAFEGUARDS AGAINST VOTER FRAUD REPORTS THIS RESULT.”

    A talking point.

  • DaddyRay

    I prefer Presidents who pick winners

  • Dayglo

    Alabama, I mocked and misjudged you and for that I am sorry. You are on the right side of history. Now go celebrate!!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e4f7f2d46e660cfef42c7a3553dadb962dac71abac156bebfc1a791a998a6231.gif

  • JCF

    Thank YOU, Doug!

  • DaddyRay

    Great Speach – Congratulations Senator Doug Jones

  • Dramphooey

    “Roy Moore goes back to being a retired former judge.”

  • EdmondWherever

    Are we sure? Are we SURE??? It’s still so early, and so close.

    • Treant

      Frankly, no, but outstanding votes are mostly in Birmingham.

      I expect discovered votes, and challenges and lawsuits.

  • Halou
    • Bryan

      Mitch McConnell is to blame!

    • Treant

      (Checking) Hillary Clinton lost the election, and here’s another review of why…

      • Oscarlating Wildely

        “But in Michigan and Wisconsin, it’s no Alabama. We go now to the whitest towns in the Midwest….where Hillary STILL didn’t go”

    • N876

      “We now turn from our election coverage to ask the important questions: Bacon, is it good for you or not?”

    • Megrim Twist

      10 Tips for Terrific Eggnog

    • Dayglo

      Sarah Huckabee Sanders shares her favorite whites-only egg recipes.

  • DaddyRay

    Big Thanks to Joe for the late night celebratory thread

  • N876

    Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt:
    https://twitter.com/Lisa4OR1st/status/940795094969540608

    • Treant

      She seems nice. Unable to read, but nice.

      • N876

        Her screenshot is also from two hours ago. I’m Ok with her living in her own reality, as long as I get the reality where Jones won.

  • FAEN

    OT-amazing piece.

    https://amp.usatoday.com/amp/945947001?__twitter_impression=true

    “A president who would all but call Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand a whore is not fit to clean the toilets in the Barack Obama Presidential Library or to shine the shoes of George W. Bush.”

  • bkmn
    • Jay George

      That’s bullshit. Dude needs to look up Parker Griffith if he thinks turncoats are tolerated.

      • Guess

        I broke my upvote clicking on that!

        • Jay George

          LOL!

  • greenmanTN

    “Roy Moore begged for my endorsement, said he would do ANYTHING for it #WinkWink #SayNoMore but I didn’t give it to him. Never heard of the guy! #MAGA” -Donald J Trump

    • AmeriCanadian

      Anyone who sexualizes Drumpf’s comments has their mind in the GUTTER!

      • greenmanTN

        And your point?

        • AmeriCanadian

          Sorry…momentarily forgot where I was and to whom I was responding. 😉

  • misterjack

    This happened in Alafuckingbama! Hahahaha!

  • DaddyRay
    • Oscarlating Wildely

      Lesson learned: inclusion can triumph.

      • Treant

        Call Bernie.

        • Oscarlating Wildely

          He’s still busy planning his personal revolution.

    • very disappointed in the white female vote. you’d of thought they wouldn’t vote for a child molester, no matter the politics.

      • Dayglo

        I’ve been ashamed to be a white man for quite some time now. Hey, at least I don’t grope women.

        • There are times I’m ashamed too.

      • Paula

        Many of my fellow caucasians are total assholes.

  • Guess

    Nice ghost-tweeting, Ivanka. Or Ty Cobb.

    • Oscarlating Wildely

      Hope! It’s Hope! She’s coming out of the woodwork at last!

  • Lazycrockett
    • Ninja0980

      No way in hell.

    • DaddyRay

      Nope – he didn’t write that

      • N876

        Nope, his grammar and spelling are nowhere near that good.

    • Oscarlating Wildely

      No way in hell.

      Beyond the genteel language, his commas are in the correct place. No fucking way.

    • coram nobis

      The grammar and punctuation are correct. Not him.

      • Rillion

        Also, no ellipses (…). Clearly his babysitters were able to hide his phone from him tonight.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      I agree with everyone here. NO WAY Donald wrote that. It sounds like an Ivanka or maybe one of the saner members of his admin doing this. God knows what he’d REALLY tweet right now.

    • Cuberly Deux

      Hope Hicks, wrestling the phone away.

      • Wow! She’s talented! She can give a blow job while texting.

        • Cuberly Deux

          GASP! Oh no you didn’t!….lol…..

          • Oh yes I did!

          • Cuberly Deux

            Of course you did….HA!…

          • The face of someone sweet and the soul of a devil, is how my hubby describes me. Haha!

    • Bryan

      Write-in votes? Try voter turnout.

    • MikeBx2

      Definitely not written by the man who just today accused a U.S. Senator of prostitution. The real Trump tweet will come.

      • Lazycrockett

        Your mind is in the gutter.

        • Rillion

          Well that’s where my body usually ends up after a few drinks, so why wouldn’t my mind be there too? 😉

    • Tulle Christensen

      Trump does not even know that the word congratulations exists

    • MikeBx2
      • well there go my good feelings about bondage

    • Nope! There wasn’t any of his buzz words, bigly, sad, beautiful, great, and his sentence structure made sense. But the big thing that made it clear he didn’t write it, the use of commas, and correctly at that.

  • Yalma Cuder-Zicci
  • Dayglo

    Let’s all remember an important thing — black folks voted in very big way despite some voter suppression efforts … and that is so awesome.

    • Rambie

      Now I hope they keep motivated to continue to vote

      • Dayglo

        We really need to get the millennials off their phones and off their asses and to the polls.

        • Rambie

          Yes, that too!

    • Hank

      Democrats have to go throughout the South and Midwest and get them ALL the required VOTER IDs!!!!

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      And they should be rewarded by being listened to and having their issues tackled. Don’t take them for granted.

      • Hue-Man

        Step 1. Stop shooting unarmed POC.

        • Dayglo

          That’s a reasonable first step, huh?

  • andrew

    This is good news at a time in American politics when it is in very short supply.

    • safari

      Oh, it is in supply. Slowly.

  • Jamie Wilson

    It’s worth recalling that in 2002, Moore issued a judicial opinion in which he declared that all homosexuals are unfit parents, regardless of their actual parenting skills or experience and regardless of how well the children are doing in any specific case. Their homosexuality, in and of itself, he held, makes them unfit.

  • BeaverTales

    ““This is the first time I’ve voted for a Democrat,” said Henry Waller, 24, who works in logistics for a granite company, said at a polling place in Mountain Brook, Ala. “I’m a Christian, and I think Moore represents the absolute worst way to put Christianity into politics.”

    • Oscarlating Wildely

      And if the Dems can get the Christer card working as well….

      Yea, I can’t stand them either but hey! if we can use their votes.

      • UrsusArctos 🐻

        Actual Xians make good Democrats. It’s the hypocritical Pharisees that the GOP is composed of. I’m an atheist but respect people of faith that do as their faith calls for them to do.

  • Paula

    Ohhh…. I hope they made Kool-Aid at Roy Moore’s headquarters.
    I know a great recipe for them.

  • Trevor Brown
  • misterjack

    *sound of toilet flushing on Rethug party*

    • Coprolite

      *The sound of the rain falling on your parade.

  • That_Looks_Delicious

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

    I really believe Trump wrote this himself. /S

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/940795587733151744

    • safari
      • Renfield

        Literally the only time the shitgibbon sounded like a person. I have no doubt someone else wrote it and pushed the send button.

    • DaddyRay

      Complete sentences
      Correct punctuation
      Civil

      Nope – he didn’t write that

      • I concur absolutely. My vote is John Kelly.

    • ‘Very short period of time?’ Try three years.

    • Karl Dubhe 2

      He’ll delete that when he wakes up. 🙂

      Then tell us what he really ‘thinks’.

    • houstonray

      NO WAY he wrote that.

    • N876

      Three years is not that short of a time. Believe me, I’m counting the days to November 2020.

    • Bryan

      Sorry Donald, never go full pedo.

    • The_Wretched

      There are sentences. It wasn’t Donny.

  • safari

    “We reject sexual abuse of minors or need more information”

    How rational.

  • Dramphooey

    The Roy Moore live stream is delicious.

  • Lazycrockett

    I wanna do things to Vaughn Hillyard.

    • Ninja0980

      Pg-13 or R rated?

      • Rambie

        R or X rated?

      • Lazycrockett

        We will start nice and slow, Im a romantic at heart.

    • Bryan

      Just wanna muss the hair a little…

  • RNegron

    if we can win in Alabama we can win everywhere!

    • Zeldacat

      *looks around almost every other county in Idaho*

      From your mouth to God’s (or anybody’s) ear. Any or all well-intentioned deities or otherwise welcome!

  • Sam

    This is our 2010 Scott Brown moment.

    • KnownDonorDad

      Far more extreme, though. Massachusetts voters just weren’t enthused by Martha Coakley; she wasn’t some fringe wackadoodle like Moore.

  • Dramphooey

    Hymnus interuptus!

  • The best thing about being a pessimist is that sometimes you are pleasantly surprised that people don’t suck quite as much as you thought. Note: this in spite of reports all day long of voter suppression efforts. I’m looking forward to seeing the analysis of who showed up, but I suspect a lot of this is turnout. Democrats in red states are discouraged but it can make a difference if you actually vote. Hey, it’s worth a shot.

    • Treant

      Ditto across the board. I was quite sure that the fix was in when the SoS sued to be allowed to throw away votes.

      And the lead did erode from +6 to +1.5 as time went on–I have a feeling the final margin will be +1.0 or a bit less. So, undoubtedly there were shenannigans. But apparently too many showed up to cheat fully.

  • Coprolite

    THANKS ALABAMA!!!!

  • JCF
    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      I hope she feels some vindication in that she and the others were believed by enough people to keep him from office.

      • houstonray

        And I hope she, or they, file some sort of suit against him.

  • worstcultever

    Holy shit, did my own actual dumb ass really write this 11 days ago?

    Calm down everybody. Polls, schmolls.

    Jones is going to WIN – there, I said it – because sane Alabamians are going to turn out in DROVES, just as sane Virginians did. To again quote Prez Hillary: when we vote, we win. In enough numbers to swamp even their cheat scams.

    Moore is a baggage-velcro clown, with ten more days to further embarrass himself. Jones is a grownup and clean as a whistle, and he’s been showing it everywhere.

    Oh, but – Borshin!!!!1!!1!!!! I don’t know why these borshin nuts are so catered to – a la CNN fellating the minority Dump voters. If these fetus freaks are the majority, even in AL, I’ll eat my fucking hat. They aren’t.

    (Just some optimism from the world’s greatest pessimist – hate how everyone is so resigned to another Trumpist clown win. Trumpist clownism is on the fucking ropes, ffs!)

    • JCF

      “You gotta have faith!”

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9iDBkJqxNg

      • houstonray

        It sucks that he isn’t in the world.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      It’s insane how much the man AND his followers embarrassed himself. I still can’t get over the brothel story.

      • worstcultever

        that one blew my mind (which is saying something)

    • houstonray

      OK….please give us some good news about next November.

  • Hank

    Democrats in EVERY state, need to go out and help the minorities get the NEEDED Voter IDs to be able to vote!!! South and Midwest!!!

    • SoCalGal20

      Here are some orgs that are doing just that.

      https://www.voteriders.org

      https://www.letamericavote.org

    • Ningsisa

      It needs to be a voter enfranchisement campaign like it was during the civil rights movement. If they close the polling places and reduce the locales, we will hire buses and carpools to get them to the places they need to get to. Black people virtually swam through alligator pits (Alabama’s attempts at voter suppression) to get to the polls for this election. If we set up infrastructure to meet them halfway we can have a great impact.’

      • Hank

        North Carolina MUST be NEXT…. turn that state HEAVILY Purple!!!!

  • safari

    I WILL SUCK STEVE BANNON AND OTHER THINGS HE WANTS

    • safari

      GIVE ME A BOOK DEAL FIRST, AND I WILL TELL ONLY THE TRUTH

      • another_steve

        Lol.

        You’re disgusting, safari.

        But smart. 😉

        • safari

          I’m curious. The money makes me more curious.

    • Treant

      I am going to assume you were just hacked. Or you are very, very joyfully drunk.

      • safari

        *profits*

        • johncAtl

          Still, that is very troubling. Even the neighborhood kittys are running away from you.

          • safari

            I want *wishes, blows upon a snowflake*
            Terry Gross: “So, you had sexual contact with Roy Moore as an adult. And wrote about it because you were curious and his fantasies disturbed you.”
            “Yes, Terry. Kissing and telling is wrong. In this case, he made himself a national shit show.”

  • MikeBx2
    • Guess

      Meanwhile, the campaign spokesman is still crafting a verbal response to Tapper.

    • Megrim Twist

      GIVE US JANET PORTER!

  • Dreaming Vertebrate

    Moore to speak, …

    • DaddyRay

      After that he can shut up for a long long time

      • Guess

        “SAY NO MOORE!”

      • johncAtl

        I’m johncAtl, and I approve this message.

  • houstonray

    Hey, GOP….remember remember the 12th of December.

    • AmeriCanadian

      Forever to be known as J-Day.

    • Guess

      Poor Roy can’t think past the 10th of anything.

      • Ben in Oakland

        He can think up to 14.

    • Hank

      My menorah has NEVER burned so brightly, as it has tonight…. and only with one candle lit!!!

    • …the Donald Trump treason and plot;
      I know of no reason
      Why the Donald Trump treason
      Should ever be forgot!

  • JRDC

    I told you. #itoldyou

  • Pluto Animus

    My guess:

    Jones would have won by 5 or 6 points had the Republicans not unleashed their vile array of voter suppression tools.

    • johncAtl

      Putin will have to work harder next time. Or maybe Kim Jong un was countering Putin’s votes.

    • Hank

      Dems have to spend this year getting minorities IDs!!!!

      • Skeptical_Inquirer

        That reminds me: If any of you guys are in Florida, perhaps you could help get a lot of the Puerto Ricans who moved there recently get their IDs. Sooner rather than later because the GOPers are sure to make it hard and slow. Let’s try to flip the empty suit Rubio out of there.

        • JackFknTwist

          That is a very important point for the 2018 elections !!

        • Hank

          When the first @ 60,000 Puerto Ricans came over after the hurricane, they were being set up with not only places to live, but having their Driver’s Licenses changed from PR to FL. With that, they should be able to vote!!!

          • Skeptical_Inquirer

            Yay. I was a little worried.

    • Treant

      I tend to agree. As the evening went on, the lead eroded from an estimated +6 to +1.5.

      Either there was voter suppression or modest levels of cheating…until they were risking falling into recount territory where physical ballots would be examined…

  • DaddyRay

    I almost want to go over an witness the Britbart Meltdown

    • JackFknTwist

      Hahaha….sorry, I’m banned !

    • Dreaming Vertebrate

      I refuse to go to that cesspool, but am curious if you care to explore the badlands and report back.

    • Rambie

      wear body armor!

  • Paula

    I want to see all of Moore’s accusers get together and flip him off at the same time.
    Kinda’ like the Flip off Grannies picture.

  • safari

    I. Want. Sarah. Tomorrow.

  • DaddyRay
  • JRDC

    And now, back to Senator-Rockstar-Gillibrand wiping the floor with trumpf.

    • Oscarlating Wildely

      the floor is too good for him.

      • JRDC

        Wiping the grease traps from McD’s?

        • Oscarlating Wildely

          With his tongue.

  • Poor stupid MSNBC (inc Brian Williams) think Trump’s congrats tweet was written and posted by Donald himself. No way it was.

  • bkmn

    Lets not forget that Russian bots/paid people have been busy on FB and other social media trying to prop up Moore during this week, as late as yesterday.

    • JRDC

      Yep. Fucking trash.

      • bkmn

        In spite of Zuckerberg’s promise to shut them down.

  • Sam_Handwich

    so no Moore concession yet?

    will there be one?

    • Oscarlating Wildely

      Too busy fucking Sassy.

    • Treant

      Who cares? He lost. He knows he lost. Jones knows he lost. That works for me.

    • Jay George

      He is prolly demanding a recount as we type.

    • bkmn

      Over Roy’s dead body

    • houstonray

      They said on CNN, someone from his campaign, that he only wrote one speech and that was for victory. He has “no other speech to give”.

      I’m guessing he’s deep in prayer right now.

      • Rambie

        They are writing up their demand for a recount speech now

        • houstonray

          And he carries that cutesy little gun, everyone watch out, recount at gunpoint!

    • Clive Johnson

      He got up, quoted the Bible and said that there would be a recount and that they had to trust god in the process.

      • Friday

        (ie, hope there’s enough Fundie corruption to cheat in a recount)

    • The_Wretched

      God / the reps told him he won last week. I’m wondering if the vite tampering failed.

  • blackstar
    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      The entire Murdoch family need to be treated like pariahs.

      • The_Wretched

        Yiu mean be required to live in a pit with only food thrown at them to eat?

  • WTHella
  • Pluto Animus

    Hey Republicans:

    Nice try, you treasonous motherfucking piles of shit.

    You will all be fighting each other for centipedes for food, once we put you in the internment camps, you scumbag racist traitors.

    • Orly

      Whoa, easy there big guy. You don’t want to act like they do.

    • JCF

      Are you a troll? “once we put you in the internment camps”??? We don’t do that. [At MOST: deport ’em to Russia! They apparently think that would be a Putin-ruled paradise.]

      • Pluto Animus

        What do you suggest we do with traitors? Send them to Club Med?

        Recall how badly things turned out last time we welcomed traitors back into our ranks: the elimination of all civil rights for millions of Americans, for nearly five generations.

        Some of us appreciate how heavy a price that was.

        And some of us never learn, apparently.

        • Ningsisa

          LOL! We run the same risk of overreach and overplaying our hand—a problem that the Right is feeling the consequences of right now. Get a hold of yourself for fucks sake.

    • The_Wretched

      And people will look at you and tell jokes and then scatter leaf cutter ants where you walk. Gates will open and monies will come forth to out on silent images to the Oz books while you weap.

      Also, centipedes are poisonous. Don’t eat them.

  • Cuberly Deux

    HA! Lumpy knows his audience. DEFLECTORS ON FULL POWER!

    https://twitter.com/seanhannity/status/940791726297534465

    • Rambie

      Tomorrow on Hannity; In-fighting and finger pointing followed by tempter tantrums and deflection

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      I loathe this guy. I still think someone should take him up on his waterboarding offer.

    • The_Wretched

      1. MCconnel wanted Strange.
      2. Irrelevant

  • JCF

    Nathan Mathis, honey, I’m also thinking of you tonight. I believe your daughter forgives you—and is PROUD of you!

    https://bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.com/dothaneagle.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/3/a5/3a54363c-df54-11e7-ad44-df8a1ca73c6e/5a2ffb00c0b9d.image.png

    • MikeBx2

      Yes! I’ve thought about him all day.

      • There is such a thing as redemption. It does happen.

        • JCF

          I honestly believe that Mathis tipped *just a few votes*. And maybe that few was enough!

    • Jay George

      I’m glad he’s sorry and he’s doing what he can to make it right.

  • billbear1961
    • safari

      Gods, I needed your input

    • houstonray

      BILLBEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We’ve needed your music and you came through. LOVE IT!

    • Cuberly Deux

      Mr. Bear!

      Oh so nice to have good news and music to go with it!

  • As the votes continue to trickle in, Jones is now up by nearly 20k, and given it’s Jones areas with the last 1% statewide to be counted, the margin will likely increase.

    • DaddyRay

      Good – we have to fend of calls for a recount

      • I think they’re hoping it’ll be close enough, but I have my doubts. Doesn’t sound like Moore wants to concede.

    • Oscarlating Wildely

      So, buh bye rceount?

    • Halou

      Does that put it outside of the mandatory recount range?

  • JackFknTwist

    Put Roy Moore in a room….with his little gun.
    Let him take the honourable way out.

    • Oscarlating Wildely

      That little pecker’s been shooting blanks for a long, long time.

    • Ningsisa

      Too much of a wuss for seppuku.

  • My good friend in Alabama is crying right now because she’s so relieved that a sexual predator didn’t get his way. Granted he almost did, and also granted that it’s not enough but for some people, a rapist facing even just one consequence is a victory.

    • Halou

      We didn’t elect a paedophile this year!

      Small miracles.

  • Leo

    OFFICIAL BREAKING: Moore’s campaign NOT conceding, citing recount.

    • Rambie

      We knew that was coming

    • Oscarlating Wildely

      Sore, sore losers. And I don’t believe a recount is mandated. A loss and no legal ground for a recount.

      https://ci.memecdn.com/5264344.jpg

  • houstonray

    Moore team just called for a recount.

  • DaddyRay

    Bitter Moore camp calling for a recount

    • Bryan

      Aw that’s cute.

    • Treant

      BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

      Y’all don’t want that, we’ll find the cheating you did to erode Jones’ lead by four and a half points as the evening wore on.

      • Rambie

        Not if the Sec of State shreds the evidence

  • Tatonka

    Cowardly fucks are hoping for a recount.

  • Lazycrockett

    Moores are being assholes.

    • greenmanTN

      Well there’s a surprise… /s

    • Ben in Oakland

      Moore assholes than usual?

  • Prost Seattle

    Moore isn’t conceding.

    • Natty Enquirer

      What a surprise.

  • JCF

    Of course Pedo Moore’s staff is contesting. Go take a flying fuck at a rusty tin can!

  • UrsusArctos 🐻

    Moore’s on now. Laying the groundwork for a recount. FUCK THE GOP.

    • Halou

      Naturally.

    • Oh, Parker

      As expected.

  • MikeBx2

    New thread.

  • Sam_Handwich

    Moore has gone full Dotard.

  • DaddyRay

    God made sure you LOST

  • Lazycrockett

    First thing this POS calls for is a march on the Alabama SoS office.

  • johncAtl

    If God is always in control you would have won before the polls opened this morning you asswipe.

  • houstonray

    GOD IS IN CONTROL….

    fuck you Roy Moore.

    • Oscarlating Wildely

      Too bad God’s dead.

      • JCF

        Moore’s god is dead.

    • UrsusArctos 🐻

      I grew up being told “God answers all prayers. Sometimes the answer is NO!’

  • Megrim Twist

    Judge Roy Moore finds himself in a hole, if you will.

    • Ben in Oakland

      Was it underaged?

  • Lazycrockett

    This guy is just an wanna be asshole preacher.

    • Friday

      I thought he was what an asshole preacher is?

  • pj

    recount. god.

    • E.J.

      recount is automatic when margin is 0.5% or less. margin is now near 1.5%

      • 2.4%, according to my math.

  • Cuberly Deux

    So I uh, wandered over to breitbart. Seems to be a caustic mix of blaming Bannon and McConnell. But bashing Bannon is the bigger surprise.

    The troll farm ain’t happy.

    • Ben in Oakland

      Put some fertilizer on ’em. That always helps.

      • The_Wretched

        I’ve read more than a few fantasy stories where the evil or inhuman gods get buried in shit to keep them quiet.

        • KnownDonorDad

          In Dante’s Inferno, that was the fate of the flatterers.

        • Ben in Oakland

          Works for me.

  • billbear1961
  • Lazycrockett

    “and I will be accepting your 12 year old girls outback.”

  • MB
  • lenvus

    And after watching Roy Moore not concede, but sound like a preacher: Now we all know how kooky he really is, and what he would sound like on the Senate floor. Please, oh, please don’t have a recount. Just don’t go there.

  • Fun facts:

    Alabama recount procedures. Under Alabama state law, a recount is automatically ordered when a candidate wins by no more than 0.5 percent of all votes cast for the office.

    Jones victory is ~2% at current count and will likely increase.

    • Rambie

      But but the military absentee hasn’t been counted yet.

      • It’s not that big.

        • Rambie

          I know, but that’s the Moore excuse.

          • Yeah, it’s also not true those votes haven’t been counted. If received by the appropriate precincts in time for today, they would have been included in the totals.

            Military votes aren’t treated as provisional unless they arrive right at the wire.

          • Rambie

            I wouldn’t rule out shenanigans though.

    • Mike Rasor

      More importantly, the cost of an automatic recount is born by the state. A requested recount must be paid for by the candidate contesting the election. Do we really think Moore is going to pay for a recount?

      • Very worrisome is the black voter suppression that was going on. Many black voters were surprised to find they were now considered “inactive” voters and were forced to go to a different voting area to vote provisionally ballot.

        https://thinkprogress.org/alabamians-cry-voter-suppression-50ddc1b53b3a/

        • The_Wretched

          I hope the ball doesn’t get dropped. We need all citizens to get to vote.

  • DaddyRay

    They will pull an Al Franken move and challenge this until the bitter end to keep Doug Jones from being seated

    • Dayglo

      If Trump had lost his election, he’d be fighting, contesting results and suing ‘til this day.

    • The_Wretched

      Wth going after Franklin here?

  • Guess

    Oh Roy, as delusional in defeat as ever.

  • Reasoning101

    Of course he did. Of course he did.
    Couldn’t just stop at the first sentence, like any sane and decent person would have.

    https://mobile.twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/940795587733151744

  • Pluto Animus

    This wasn’t just an election — it was a Rape-erendum!

  • BartmanLA

    That’s right march on the Secretary of State’s office to demand a recount. Starting riots over an election will win you lots of points… of course it would give the rednecks something to do instead of sitting at home collecting welfare.

  • Oscarlating Wildely

    “I want a recount– and a pony. Now, Daddy Trump, now!”

    https://media.giphy.com/media/vO8F4fYQd39h6/giphy.gif

    • Ningsisa

      “She was a bad egg.”

  • Guess

    At least for now, Alabama GOP has been un-Moored.

  • safari

    *internet goes down*
    Alexa: “Play music.”
    “Pla*static*ing the last (static) station you (station) listened to.”

    I took her offline because she stopped responding to commands. How… how.

    • Russian bot attack? *shrugs*

      Also, something to be aware of is I’ve been hearing stirrings of a major ‘take down the Internet’ DDOS protest against the FCC/FTC plans to eliminate net neutrality. I don’t know when it’s supposed to happen though. Likely not right now.

      • safari

        One day, we may sleep at night.

        • safari

          Oh, something new. I disconnected my Echo to watch this last post happen. I have no idea.

          • johncAtl

            You have Alexa and Echo?

          • safari

            Yes. We fight over words like “all” and “those” and “the”.

          • johncAtl

            Ask them divide by zero questions. Years ago I asked Siri if Tim Cook was gay. Her response was “everything I need to know about Apple could be found on Apple’s web site.”

      • johncAtl

        That would be interesting. But they may as well not stop with the FCC and FTC. Just block *.gov.

  • Prost Seattle

    For a Republican Secretary of State, Mr. John Merrill is using very cautious language and seems to be very fair and confident in the initial results.

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    I wish someone would talk to Trump and Moore the same way Daniel talks to Eli:

    https://youtu.be/s_hFTR6qyEo

    • Oscarlating Wildely

      “I’m finished.”

  • Ninja0980

    Hubby’s boss and mine have said we don’t have to go into work tomorrow.
    We get to celebrate this win all night long.

    • johncAtl

      More alcohol!

  • MikeBx2

    New thread.

    • johncAtl

      Age discrimination. I’m filing a complaint! There was nothing wrong with the old thread.

  • billbear1961
    • johncAtl

      There is much happiness in the bear household tonight. Cheers Bill!

  • Lazycrockett

    WOW at this USA Today editorial .

    • johncAtl

      I don’t know about you but I hate when I click on the “post as” button too soon.

  • SDG

    Ha! Good news to start my day! Now Bibi being indicted, that would be a good 2nd.

  • 2amor

    FUCK YES!!!

  • JAKvirginia

    Forget Christmas. I just got my best gift EVER!

  • Hryflex

    Not so sanguine that when economics improve during Jones, that Moore’s fans will ascribe that to Moore. Mark my words.

  • Tempus Fuggit
    • Ningsisa

      Wrong! Just wrong!!!

    • Mike in NC

      Roy was barebacking?

  • Avenger280
    • KnownDonorDad

      That’s just…wow.

      • Avenger280

        Cruz’s seat comes up next year and he already has a serious challenger in Beto O’Rourke, Democratic U.S. Representative for Texas’s 16th congressional district out of El Paso.

        • MaryJOGrady

          Beto O’Rourke is an all-around good, progressive man. He has been for many years. As a former Texan, I hope to the dickens he removes the human abscess which is Ted Cruz from the US Senate.

  • KnownDonorDad

    I demand Steve Bannon sadz!!!

  • blackstar
    • MaryJOGrady

      I love the NY Daily News.

  • The_Wretched

    Holy fvck! I’m very happy to be wrong and have Moore lose!

  • Canadian Observer

    As wonderful as this news is, there is still one thing that would increase my general level of happiness… to hear that the women who Moore abused when they were minors would drag his sorry ass into court and sue him for libel. I realize they will never see justice for what they had to go through… statute of limitations and all that – but their is a wealth of on-record comments from Moore accusing them of lying etc. They should go after him, even if only for token damages, to clear their names for his base accusations. He is on record with enough rope, hang the bastard.

  • TheSeer

    Steve Bannon: There is a special place in hell for Republican who should have known it better.

  • Cackalaquiano

    ALABAMA! I had no faith! Thanks for proving me wrong!

  • Edmund Allin

    Everyone’s happy, so I am too.

    But the Guardian has an interesting statistic. According to exit polls something like 70% of white men and 60-65% of white women in Alabama voted for Moore. 😮

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/dec/12/roy-moore-loses-alabama-senate-race-doug-jones-wins

    • JCF

      White people tend to suck, and Alabama white people are the suckiest white people.

      • Edmund Allin

        I just learned that Trump carried the state by 28 percentage points in 2016, so I’m now delighted. 🙂

        • PlutoAnimus

          Happy happy joy joy!

      • andrew

        Generalize often?

        • PlutoAnimus

          Tell me, do you always flinch when faced with incontrovertible evidence?

          • andrew

            Replace the word “White” with Gay, Jewish, Black, Hispanic or any other classification of people and even you might be able to see what a prejudicial statement it is.

  • Paul

    It should be noted that Roy Moore UNDERperformed Jeff Sessions’ number of votes from 2014…when he ran unopposed.

  • kaydenpat

    Bannon must be crying in his whiskey right about now. Lol. What a loser. Had he not rallied against Luther Strange, Jones probably wouldn’t have won.