Bryan Fischer: Al Franken Is Faking His Resignation

Hate radio host Bryan Fischer writes:

Not only did Al Franken not resign yesterday, it is my prediction that he will never resign. He will not resign until Roy Moore does – and since there is no way Roy Moore is going to do that, there’s no way Al Franken is going to do that either.  All Franken said what he would do is resign “in the coming weeks.” That is a gloriously indefinite time frame. Franken can cram as much of the future into that phrase as he wants.

Immediately after Franken mentioned his resignation at some unknown, unspecified point in the future, he spoke of the “irony” that a president who has a “history…of sexual assault” sits serenely in the Oval Office while Roy Moore, a man who has “repeatedly preyed on young girls,” is still on the ballot in Alabama.

We likely won’t hear from Franken again until December 13, the day after the results of the Alabama Senate race are known. What we will hear from Franken that day will be something like this: “I have offered, in good faith, to tender my resignation as a member of the United States Senate. Roy Moore, as a serial sexual predator, must do the same. In fact, I propose, as a gesture of nobility on my part, that Mr. Moore and I depart the Senate together. I will be happy to resign the same day Roy Moore does. Until then, I ain’t going anywhere.”

I’d totally be OK with it if this came true.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    Fine with me.

  • Sam_Handwich

    is the senate ethics comm still going to run an investigation of Franken?

    • Ragnar Lothbrok

      I don’t think so, no.

  • Sam_Handwich
    • mpatreyu

      Let’s hope they are mostly GOP

    • Ragnar Lothbrok

      Please let Steve King be one of them

    • Christopher

      This could very well paralyze Congress.

      This could cause them to lose quorum. (If I’m using that in the right context.)

      http://www.dictionary.com/browse/quorum

      • Sam_Handwich

        a quorum in the senate, assuming no vacancies, is 51 (i.e a majority of seated senators must be present). i assume it’s the same in the house, so 218ish

      • AmeriCanadian

        No. They will very quickly pass a law that protects themselves from any kind of misconduct allegations. In fact, I suspect they will go as far as to make it a crime to make any accusations against a sitting member of congress. You watch. They are there to enrich and protect themselves and their benefactors through any and all means.

        • Christopher

          At this point nothing would surprise me.

        • Nowhereman

          Let’s hope not, but then they do exempt themselves from the laws the rest of us have to follow. The worst part of this nightmare is that we have to hope that the republicans will do the right thing, but I can’t remember the last time that happened.

        • KevInPDX

          A similar tactic was taken in Italy to insulate their politicians.

    • lattebud
      • vorpal

        I thought that was Beth for a second.
        All uptight old white Christian conservative ladies with tumbleweeds up their twats look the same to me.
        Does that me me racist?

      • Nowhereman

        Wow, I just looked her up and I agree. And is that a little Russian flag on her lapel with Old Glory?

    • Nowhereman

      I’m curious how many of them will be republicans. Of course they won’t fess up unless they are caught in the act.

  • PickyPecker
    • dagobarbz, fine Italian shoes

      Hey, somebody took a bite out of your otter!

      • GanymedeRenard
        • dagobarbz, fine Italian shoes

          I’ll be in my bunk…

          • GanymedeRenard

            Just not with the otter.

        • another_steve

          I want to organize an expedition down that line of hair leading to his navel.

          • GanymedeRenard

            More to the South…

          • Nicole

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          • vorpal

            And here I thought you were the prime contender for leading the expedition into the Great Garbage Patch of Jared!

          • Margaret

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      • Henry Auvil

        That’s an otter hicky.

  • JWC

    Ya and Trump is Faking a Presidency SO????

    • Sam_Handwich

      and Melanoma fakes her orgasms

      • PickyPecker
        • GanymedeRenard

          You crack me up every time you post this gif, Mr. Pecker! XD

      • JWC

        shit she doesn’t sleep with that fat turd She has a nice Secret Service “bick”

      • lattebud

        Not with her Secret Service entourage.

      • perversatile

        “He sells reproductions! His furniture’s as fake as my orgasms!”
        -Gladys Leeman:

      • Nowhereman

        I think she probably has people to do that for her.

  • Richie Kau

    I never ever ever would have thought I would ever say to anything Fischer says…that actually makes sense, ole Bryan.

    • Reality.Bites

      Well you know what they say… even a stopped clock is

      smarter than Fischer.

  • Girlgoon

    That’s a good idea refuse to resign until trump resigns maybe throw Conyers in to sweeten the deal

  • Henry Auvil

    Sounds reasonable. Do you think a Republican ethics committee would hold hearings for all of trump’s accusers? Not in this version of reality.

    • Do you think a Republican ethics committee is going to find Franken innocent?

  • Henry Auvil

    I volunteered for Diane Feinstein’s campaign for City Commission in San Francisco way back in the day when she was a Pacific Heights housewife and I was (honestly) a somewhat fetching lad of 22. She never once sexually molested me. I swear.

    • Gigi

      Did they have electricity back then? 😉

      • Henry Auvil

        Yes, but you still had to wind the crank on the telephone and ask the operator to connect you to your buddies out in the Castro. Getting Out The Vote was hellacious back then.

        • Gigi

          I 💓 You

        • Ray Taylor

          I only had to put in a dime to make a phone call, I guess we are from different times.

        • Nowhereman

          Yes, and those party lines were hell!

    • Ray Taylor

      She never molested me either, although I was a little older. Neither did Nancy Pelosi when she knocked on my door one evening.

  • Subtext: Fischer is trying to force Franken out sooner so there’s one less Dem vote in the coming weeks, so that the plundering GOP can ram through their insane tax bill. The one laden with all the non-tax shit like declaring fetuses eligible to set up college funds, let churches be political, and so on.

    • Fischer wishes he had the chops for a move like that.

    • Ray Taylor

      Franken won’t leave until after the voting; he will not desert us.

    • Nowhereman

      Yeah, that whole tax free college savings while still in the womb is just yet another camel’s nose under the tent to give fetuses personhood. I wonder if that means that a couple who is expecting a child can claim them on their taxes while it is still in the womb?…

  • Tom Furgas

    For once Fischer isn’t spewing nonsense and lies. I think his prediction is spot on. And I’d totally love it if it turns out to be true.

    • My guess is Franken wants to wait until the Senate formally adjourns for the holiday break, so there’s time for his replacement to be sworn in before the next session begins in January.

      Leaving right now would just remove a Senate Dem vote, which is something the GOP wants very badly, given there’s word of some few Republicans unhappy with their tax bill abomination. Including Collins.

  • GanymedeRenard

    Yeah, and you’re faking being a decent person, right?

  • another_steve

    Assuming for the sake of argument that he’s genuinely innocent of the charges and is just an insensitive asshole comedian who has done stupid things, Franken will still resign as promised.

    He’s lost the confidence of the Democratic female senators. His colleagues. How could he possibly continue to serve in such an environment?

  • Gigi

    For once I hope that Fischer is right. I honestly hope that Franken doesn’t end up resigning.

  • Mike C

    Oh this is why the dumb-dumbs are commenting and blathering about Franken in the Trent Franks story on some other sites…..

  • Mark Née Fuzz

    That’d be fine. I’m so “fuck the high road” these days.

  • DaddyRay

    I personally am good with this

  • Treant

    I’m not really having a problem with that outcome.

  • Well, if anyone knows how to fake a resignation, it’s Fischer (who no longer works for the American Family Association — wink, wink, nudge, nudge).

  • Bluto

    So bribri thinks Franken is just going to sneak into the Senate chamber, take a seat & not be noticed?

  • Boreal
    • Christopher

      About right!

      Looks tacky as hell, and has very few attendees.

      • Reality.Bites

        And very, very orange.

    • Treant

      The Obamas could only manage to light one.

  • Lazycrockett

    He’s not resigning until Dayton names a replacement. That’s usually how it works.

    JFC

  • LeeCMH

    Talking about fake. Roy Moore is faking Christian morality.

    • another_steve

      It’s a terrible thing, faking Christianity.

      It’s like lying in bed with Jesus on top of you – kissing you, caressing you – and you going “Ooh, yes, there. There, Jesus. Hallowed be thy name, big boy”… when in fact you feel nothing.

      Absolutely nothing.

      • LeeCMH

        Nothing fails like prayer.

        • another_steve

          Well, prayer is like an inner cry for help. A pleading. It’s a human thing – to cry and to plead.

          I understand why people pray.

          • LeeCMH

            Oh so do I.

            The act of gathering thoughts, seeking understanding.

            The articulation of one’s thoughts through meditation or “prayer” act similarly on the person. They help bring clarity.

            I do draw the line when the meditation turns into talking to your big friend in the sky.

          • another_steve

            I see your point.

            I think any form of meditation is a sort of prayer. A plea to, a talking to, “out there.” To the universe, for calm. For centering. A “calling out and awaiting” of sorts.

            Similar to what the faithful do in the pews.

          • LeeCMH

            Just without the deity. And especially regarding wishes for the defeat of an opponent (football team, political opponent), or the destruction of a perceived threat.

            Meditation is very personal for me. Meditation involves introspection and quiet relaxation.

            I find when I take time to gather my thoughts into some kind of coherence, I am better able to sort out my mind. Perhaps formulating thoughts into prayers serves a similar function.

            Simply, but contemplatively, asking for answers, ways, what is right, what is wrong …

            I have long thought many people benefit from religious prayer strictly because the act of praying alone can have meditative qualities.

            But the expectation of some higher power intervention resulting from prayer? Nope.

          • another_steve

            “…the act of praying alone can have meditative qualities.”

            Yes.

            The trick to meditation, as I see it, is to escape what Eastern practitioners call “monkey mind.” That part of us that is constantly focused on “things.” That is constantly running about.

            There’s a sort of “grace” associated with the ability to so escape. As you meditate, you can’t “will” that your mind become as a smooth sea. It will either come or it will not.

            “Grace,” understood in this way, is a concept understandable by both religious and non-religious seekers.

          • LeeCMH

            I agree entirely.

            My comments draw heavily from my understanding of Tao.

            I learned much about Tao when my mother died.

            Perhaps the “escape” you mention is the ability to let go of the world of worries and accept the universe as it is.

          • another_steve

            Do you think you can take over the universe and improve it? I do not believe it can be done.

            The universe is sacred. You cannot improve it. If you try to change it, you will ruin it. If you try to hold it, you will lose it.

            Extract, Verse 29
            Tao Te Ching
            Gia Fu Feng / Jane English trans.

          • LeeCMH

            Allow your life to unfold naturally
            Know that it too is a vessel of perfection
            Just as you breathe in and breathe out.

            Same Verse continuing on…
            Tao Te Ching
            Translation by: Jonathan Star
            From Book: Tao Te Ching: The Definitive Edition

            Thanks so much for putting your finger on the appropriate verse.

          • Nowhereman

            I’m with you there. I’m not very consistent about it, but I use meditation to calm and focus my mind since it tends to spin and wander a lot. I find that 10-15 minutes a day also helps me with insomnia. I don’t have a religious bone in my body. I have actually NEVER prayed.

      • JDS

        Because he is hung like a chiclet.

  • Jonathan Smith

    works for me.

  • bkmn

    Let it be.

  • IAMBOWLINGQUEEN

    Oh and Bryan, Jesus fans faked his resurrection.

    • Reality.Bites

      they faked his life

  • Lazycrockett
    • bkmn

      I wonder how many he has forced to “sit on his lap”

    • Clive Johnson

      But, he’s a Values Voter[TM].

    • Karl Dubhe 2

      Santa was BAD?!?!?

    • M Jackson

      I’m trying out expressions of fake surprise.

    • Nowhereman

      Oh surprise, surprise… Will he be running for congress?

  • Dayglo

    Can we agree to ignore Bryan Fischer? He’s one neocon nutjob amongst many but there are more dangerous ones out there.

  • another_steve

    Bryan Fischer is faking being human.

  • LeeCMH

    Bryan will love this.

    Happy Solstice Everyone

  • I agree with Joe. I do think Franken should resign, but I do NOT think that he should resign while other Senators, Representatives and a president remain in office who did as bad and in many cases worth. For example, everyone who had to pay off sexual harassment victims from the house slush fund for such things should be gone.

    • Nowhereman

      There’s a thought. He could say that as soon as the ethics committees in congress have thoroughly investigated the president and all sitting members of congress and when all the members found guilty of sexual misconduct and have resigned and paid back the taxpayers for the hush money pay offs, then he will resign.

  • Leo
    • And GAYS are sexual predators?!?!

      • Ray Taylor

        Everyone else feels every one should like as they like. There is no other way .

  • Leo

    OT2. VIRGINIA HOUSE UPDATE. Yes, it’s still a clusterfuck, and no, it probably won’t be decided until next year.
    https://twitter.com/RTDSchapiro/status/938484511737774080

  • Michael R
    • Ray Taylor

      I had a few snow flakes in the morning yesterday. Supposed to start snowing 6am tomorrow.

  • ByronK

    It’s always so grounding to know that Bryan is still on another planet. Took the day off for a long weekend, spending it with the BF on the couch watching The Crown season 2. Just popped in to make sure everything was still batshit crazy, and it seems all is normal. Back to the couch – have a lovely evening everyone!

    • Lazycrockett

      Thoughts, reviews?

      • ByronK

        The BF remarked, and I do agree, that they crammed so much into the first season, that this one has a slower pace and they all seem to have relaxed and deepened in their roles. Loving it so far. The episode 4 section where Margaret has her portrait taken by Armstrong-Jones, later Lord Snowden, is absolutely stunning. The whole show seems even more nuanced and fascinating.

      • Ray Taylor

        I intend to start watching Sunday when H. comes home for the day from rehab,

  • Kevin Perez

    Let us hope that Brybry is right for once in his awful little life.

  • DaveMiller135

    It has GOT to be one of the signs of the apocalypse that I’m hoping Bryan Fischer turns out to be right.

  • Mike__in_Houston

    Exactly. The jackass Fischer says that as though it’s a bad thing….

  • Friday

    And that’d be a problem why, again? Oh, right, you Christians think your rules are just for everyone else, and you want the kid-diddling oathbreaker hate-preacher in office but anyone actually *supporting* womens’ rights out.

  • Tomcat

    In a just world Moore would have already dropped out, so STFU.

  • LeeCMH

    To Bryan:

    Reason’s Greetings

  • DrRobY

    “I’d totally be OK with it if this came true.” That was immediate reaction to this as well.

  • j.martindale

    Suits me. If the public is willing to put a pedophile in office, I can easily go for a Democrat who is too free with his hands–although I have my doubts that is really the case here.

    • Ray Taylor

      Too many have suddenly decided to say he touched them. They say that about Jesus too.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada
  • boobert

    Fine with me. I would prefer the ethics investigation finds no wrongdoing and he stays.

  • Rocco

    Where is his tinfoil hat?

  • JCF
  • olandp

    Works for me.

  • fuzzybits

    Glady’s always has to weigh in.

  • Richard B

    That is fine with me. I see no need for the Democrats to unilaterally disarm one of our best front line assets, if our enemies, whose transgressions are a thousand times worst, have zero intentions of pulling their assets and as a matter of fact, they laugh at us amongst themselves and think we are nothing but a bunch of weak losers. This is why we have been losing. They are meaner than we are and we need to get over that fact and get meaner than them. Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand and the prim and proper ladies, are good people, but we are not winning and going to keep losing if we keep acting their way. Remember Michelle Obama, when they go low, we go high? That sounds good and decent, but its bullshit. When they go low, we go must lower and slit their throats of the enemy to end them. If you haven’t noticed, the voters seem to like their leaders tough and strong . Folks, we are on the cusp of losing the ACA, Social Security, Medicare, the Supreme Court and our hard earned rights. We have to play a different game. Tony Perkins is whispering into Trump’s ear and he is listening. Remember the recent trans ban in the military??? Where do you think the orange idiot got these ideas? We are at war to the death and if we have to play dirty to win back ground, so be it and now is the time to do it. We must be meaner, tougher, dirtier to outsmart the enemy. We can discuss our ethics later after we grind the republicans into dust and scorch their asses off the planet for eternity. Al Franken must be turned around and put back onto the playing field.

  • JDS

    And you are faking at being a human being.

  • ted-

    Will this fucker die already? FFS

  • Kevin Andrews

    Who on God’s green Earth really cares what this delusional schizophrenic bastard has to say about anything. The Christ-O-Fascists have dug their own graves. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7fddbc7dc8e5434217a023186cf0fc964d954dcd6744b0e92b081b7824b7c77e.png