Twitter Wonders About Trump’s Dentures [VIDEO]

Via Mediaite:

Uh, what the heck was going on with Trump’s speech pattern? He began seemingly slurring his words toward the end of his remarks. In particular at the very end, it was quite noticeable. Was he on drugs? Was he drunk on Big Macs? Tired? Did he just really miss Twitter? It looks like the answer is none of these things. A close Mediaite examination of the video led us to the most likely conclusion: the President’s dentures were slipping out of his mouth, subtly loosening, thus causing the change in speech pattern.

Via TMZ:

President Trump unveiled something new at the White House — and we don’t mean his policy on Jerusalem … instead, we’re talking about a mysterious lisp. POTUS really did make a major announcement Wednesday morning — becoming the first Prez to recognize Jerusalem as Israel’s capital in the last 70 years, but near the end of his remarks he started slurring really badly. It sounded as if he had dentures or a retainer that he was struggling to keep in his mouth. We’ve called the White House to check on 45’s grill … but something’s definitely up.

  • netxtown

    hey donnie – either take the marbles out of your mouth….or slap some polident on them dentures.

    (note: don’t put on too much. Vlad likes it when you can slip ’em in and out easily)

  • My vote is ‘stroke.’

    Okay, Christmas wish.

  • Megrim Twist

    HA! HA! HA!

  • Blake J Butler

    I feel hung over without being drunk reading the title of this thread.

    If Mueller’s not coming soon enough shove in the fatty foods and the chocolate cakes, so his life expectancy gets much shorter.

  • Rex

    That’s the most disturbing and disgusting thing I’ve seen since, well, since the last time I watched him.

    • Blake Mason

      Trump: Hold my fixodent.

    • jerry

      Since the debate with Cruz eating boogers…

  • Yalma Cuder-Zicci

    It also sounded like he was having difficulty breathing.

    • TampaDink

      Wishful thinking on my part.

    • Snarkaholic

      Hey, Chump, Obama FORBIDS you to smoke four packs of cigs per day!!!

      • 2guysnamedjoe

        All that no smoking stuff is just libtard fake science. Light up, dumpy! Strike a blow for freedumb.

    • The_Wretched

      We know he takes a golf cart anytime he has to walk over 10 yards. Probably part of that obesity issue coupled with age and a philosophical disagreement with exercise.

      • RoFaWh

        And yet, for people in very poor physical condition, there are few exercises as effective for strengthening them as walking.

        Bicycle riding is even better as it puts very little load on the knees, but I’d be surprised if Trump has ever learned to ride a bicycle.

      • -M-

        iirc, he’s spouted the idea that people have a finite supply of energy and exercise uses it up. I hope he knows that people need huge amounts of cholesterol in their diet too.😏

      • 2guysnamedjoe

        He doesn’t want the public to see his gigunda ass.

  • JoeMyGod

    Could it just be a loose bridge?

    • djcoastermark

      That’s Chris Christie’s department.

    • Rex

      We know he has a loose screw or two.

      • netxtown

        a couple of ’em were underage, weren’t they?

    • netxtown

      he might be regurgitating a big mac…..

    • Tomcat

      Could be mouth in gear, brain not.

    • TampaDink

      Bridgegate is already taken by a man whose polling numbers are (so far) lower than hair furor’s.

      • JWC

        He may have gotten confused and used Preparation H instead of poly grrip Both large orifices spewing shit

    • Steverino

      He certainly has loose vowels.

  • bkmn

    Polygrip doesn’t make a formula that can hold up to more than three dozen BigMacs in one day.

  • clay

    Surely, false teeth would have shown up on his annual physical exam, surely.

    • netxtown

      they did show up on putey’s cock….and he was none too happy….

      • Tawreos

        Oh c’mon, Trump knows Putin likes a good gummer.

    • Mikey

      Trump’s family physician is a gastroenterogolist… he’s used to going in the other end, so probably doesn’t get to see Trump’s dentures very often.

      • vorpal

        Not surprised. Nobody is willing to deal with the other end: the things that come out of it are too disgusting.

      • William

        Yes, don’t let that man stick his fingers in your mouth.

      • RoFaWh

        Is it possible that Trump has anal dentures too?

        • Mikey

          ewww.

          just

          ewwww.

          *reaches for the brain bleach*

          • RoFaWh

            Brain bleach! Brain bleach! Gitcher brain bleach here!

    • Dreaming Vertebrate

      Dr. Harold Bornstein: He has perfect oral health. No one has finer teeth.

      • TampaDink

        And….lest we forget, all of his tests were positive.

        • Cattleya1

          Does that include his syphiis tests?

      • William

        Donald showed him the receipt.

      • charemor

        The best teeth that money can buy.

    • Chucktech

      Why wouldn’t he have permanent implants? He could certainly afford them so it couldn’t be a cost thing.

      • TominDC

        Total speculation: Given the dotard’s obesity and diet, it’d be a miracle if he isn’t diabetic. Implants fail at higher rates with diabetics, if the surgeon would perform the procedure at all.

        • JDS

          I’m T2 and could have gotten implants. To expensive though. Went with a permanent bridge.

          • TominDC

            You probably have yours very well under control, and don’t regularly eat two Big Macs, two filet-o-fish sandwiches, and a chocolate shake for dinner…

          • RoFaWh

            I have gradually figured out that the first thing you do if you are diagnosed with Type II diabetes is to stop buying carb-rich foods. If they aren’t in the house, you can’t eat them. Me, I took about twelve years to figure this out.

            Carb-rich food: anything made mainly out of flour and/or sugar: baked goods of all types, candies, cookies, ice cream, rice, potatoes, pasta, etc. And pretty well all prepared foods bought in boxes.

          • JDS

            Exactly. If I ate that I would projectile vomit. 🙂 Trumppie has all that money yet can’t get a good set of Dentures. Sad.

        • RoFaWh

          When I underwent total replacement of my right knee two years ago, someone remarked that my surgeon simply wouldn’t operate on anyone with an A1C over 7.

          As I have Type II diabetes, this remark was of more than a little interest. The medics put me through quite a series of pre-op tests to make sure I’d survive, including two doses of Tc-99m for different purposes. If I never have to lie quietly in a gamma ray scanner again I will not be sad.

          The operation was a roaring success; the worst parts were that I couldn’t drive for six weeks, and the change to my gait caused an old, dormant back problem to go crazy. Not fun, that last point.

      • lattebud

        Or he doesn’t have enough bone in his jaw and the implants would fail. To add additional bone is a very intrusive and painful procedure. Voice of experience

      • Andrew Iverson

        He’s cheap as fuck. Simple as that. Even if he is a billionaire (doubtful), he’s a skinflint. Dentures the cheapest option, and crappy ones at that? Sold!

        • RoFaWh

          Perhaps he bought them off a rack at Walmart.

    • MT YVR

      I SO MISREAD THAT.

      “would’ve shown up on his anal exam…”

      And for a SECOND… I thought : well, yes. Along with a few other people’s dental records, they’re so far up his ass….

  • Jim Maloney

    The freak show continues.

  • AlternativeQuacks

    I didn’t think Melania’s job could possibly get any harder than it was, but I was wrong.

    • Henry Auvil

      Melania probably wears dentures too. That’s how she secured her current job.

      • Tawreos

        I am pretty sure she doesn’t need to worry about her teeth grazing that poor little shriveled thing.

      • Chucktech

        Oh, c’mon, I’m sure Melania’s a real pro…

  • JWC

    Oh Lets just stay with the “on Drugs”line

    • William

      Brain hemorrhage.

    • vorpal

      Hey! =waves=
      Will write you back very soon, mon ami!

  • Rex

    Never buy Russian dentures made in China.

    • kareemachan

      Especially the ones the russkies put the listening device in….

    • RoFaWh

      In Soviet days, Russian made dentures had stainless steel teeth…

    • JCF

      In this day and age, simpler to say: “Never buy Russian”.

  • bkmn

    O/T – it appears that DiFi is showing interest in the lies of Hope Hicks…

    https://twitter.com/Alt_Spicerlies/status/938509290503049216

    • Blake J Butler

      Why are we giving legal advice to New Monica, let the calvin klein model work things out for herself.

    • JCF

      http://i.giphy.com/3oEduKOTIc56rQvAze.gif

      FWIW, I’m not like another_steve (disconnecting fuckability, from “Are You Slime?”). But if I were…sure. I’d like to f*ck HH into a change of worldview!

      • Chucktech

        Eeew, god, is there no other way??

  • Do Something Nice

    If I were Trump’s dentures, I’d try to escape too.

    Isn’t there a humanitarian denture-advocacy group who can take on this issue?

  • PickyPecker
    • JCF

      Don’t laugh: how many of us will make it to 102?

      • vorpal

        I suspect to make it to 102, you have to have a good enough sense of humour that when that happens to you, you’re able to find it hilarious.

        • JCF

          Yeah, it looks like she’s cracking up at the end: that’s exactly why she’s made it this far.

      • MT YVR

        Hon, I adore hummers. So. More of us? Please? 😛

      • Luddite

        No thanks.

  • Slippy_World
  • Tomcat
  • Jmdintpa
  • Outlaw Woman

    I’d guess that the Donald would get bolted in dentures, like his riveted in hair.

  • Lumpy Gaga

    Maybe he got a new tongue piercing and it takes some getting used to.

  • joe ho

    He can’t afford implants?

    • Tomcat

      Lizards can’t have teeth.

    • JoeMyGod

      Trump alleged beat his first wife over the pain from a botched hair transplant after she recommended the doctor. I imagine there’s significant discomfort with implants at the beginning.

      • Chucktech

        Aw, poor baby…

        I would think dentures would be a monumental hassle. And, an occasional… embarrassment.

      • Snarkaholic

        I’ve read that there is…especially if the implants are in the upper row.

      • BearEyes

        I have several implants. There’s some discomfort the first 24 hours after the initial surgery, but that goes away.
        In Donnie 2 scoops’ case, you can see the dentures moving if you look closely.

      • TominDC

        IME the pain/discomfort isn’t really all that bad. It’s no worse than a root canal.

    • Chucktech

      That was my question. They’re expensive, but that couldn’t be a issue for Trump.

      • Lumpy Gaga

        They generally don’t do dental work on people with high blood pressure.

        • Chucktech

          But his doctor said he has unbelievable blood pressure…

          • Something’s unbelievable all right.

    • Menergy

      not advisable if his bone density in the jaw and uppers area is not sufficient for long-term stability

  • skyweaver

    Why is dentures such a possibility? He sounds more like he is impaired in some very specific way unrelated to dentures

    • Tomcat

      Just say it, mentally.

  • Publius

    Even his dentures are like, “Nah fuck this, I’m out.”

  • Mike_in_the_Tundra

    If I were his dentures, I would make a break for it. He could afford implants.

  • Mickey Bitsko
  • Tomcat

    He was just trying on Washington’s wooden teeth for nostalgia.

  • m_lp_ql_m

    If you listen carefully, and I’m probably listening too carefully and making something out of nothing, you hear two clicky-squeaky sounds between “god bless” and “the uninen staysh”. Something coming loose?

  • Henry Auvil

    I love how the ghost of Christmases Future is lurking in the background just waiting his turn.

  • Tomcat

    It sounds to me like he is saying and god bless united church.

  • I would think he would have dental implants..

  • TK

    Fuck Trump’s dentures, speech patterns or any of that. The shit gibbon just threw a YUUUUGE match on the whole Mideast/Israeli-Palestinian tinderbox, against all sound advice and objections. The guy is a total menace to the entire world and I really don’t care how it’s done, he needs to be removed from office ASAP. The world just became a much more dangerous place with this ill-conceived plan and speech. What a total ignorant fucktard.

    • RoFaWh

      He seems to be consistently contrarian. People offer advice, good advice, but nobody’s gonna tell Donny Two-scoops what to do, so he goes ahead with his ill thought out plan.

      Somebody should ask the Secret Service to just deliver him to the DC jail.

      Edit: I wrote “ill thought out”. I should have written “not thought out at all.”

    • Steven Jaeger

      The only good thing is it might get rid of some rapturists.

    • JackFknTwist

      Total agreement from me.
      This c unt is in office for 10 months and he wades in to the Middle East in the most destructive way possible……with his succubus, Jared, in tow.
      Then he asks other countries to move their capitals !
      What an arrogant ignoramus.
      No EU country will move its Embassy from Tel Aviv.
      No EU country will recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Israel.

      Trump/turd hasn’t a clue.

      • SkokieGuy [ChicagoAdjacentGuy]

        And the State Department is going to begin the process for moving the Embassy? The State Department who’s budget he slashed and which is so understaffed as to be barley functional? This will go well /s

        • JackFknTwist

          I cannot understand why Rex Tillerson was not at the announcement of the Capital issue.
          If he had any dignity at all he would have resigned. He has none.
          Everyone I have spoken to despises this announcement.
          And no, we will not be moving any embassy until Jerusalem is the capital of a free and independent Palestine State.

          • SkokieGuy [ChicagoAdjacentGuy]

            Dignity? He took a position serving for a man he never met performing a job he has no experience in, basically to get sanctions lifted to benefit Exxon.

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      So what a few hundred or a few thousand innocent people get killed. Dump’s ego is what matters.

      • GeoffreyPS

        He’s getting a boner at the thought. A little micro-boner.

  • JWC

    Whenever Trump speaks watch Pence , His eyes are glued unbliinking to the back of Donnies head

    • Tomcat

      Making sure the human suit does not come off.

    • The_Wretched

      Creepy religious “support”. He’s actively wishing for his god’s aura energy to infuse and guide trump.

      • RoFaWh

        Sounds like some kind of scieno weirdness.

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      Imagining a bulls-eye?

  • Henry Auvil

    Sometimes people with dementia forget to apply the Poligrip.

  • SFBruce

    If only ill-fitting dentures were the most unattractive thing about little Donnie. I’m not sure that’s his problem, anyway. I don’t see those teeth move at all.

  • Blake J Butler
    • Paula

      I lived there for 11 years. Nice city.

  • Mike C

    Stroke?

    • Tomcat

      We can only hope.

    • The_Wretched

      This is far from the first time he’s had slurred speech. Previously, I’d commented on it and thought it related to his endless sniffing (coke use).

  • Tomcat

    Sometimes his native planet language slips out. Do not be concerned about it until he puts out his Cooking Man Cookbook.

  • Babaloo

    You’d think he’d have enough money for implants. The tooth kind, I mean. We know he spends it on the other kinds.

  • Leo
    • JCF

      1. It ain’t over!!!! dougjonesforsenate.com

      2. If Moore gets in, it’s not going to be Gillibrand vs Moore. It will be Moore vs EVERY Dem, and I’m betting several Rethugs (i.e., an anti-Moore MAJORITY). And it will be SCORCHED EARTH.

    • The_Wretched

      Did any (R) join in on the list calling for him to resign? I don’t think so. They’ll point that out when they happily welcome Moore to the Senate.

      • 2guysnamedjoe

        Back in ’16, lots of repugs wet going on about what a pig dump is , unfit for the presidency and all that. Where are they now?

        It’ll be the same thing with Moore if he’s elected.

  • Paula
  • JoeMyGod
    • JCF

      “Just ’cause you’ve lost your mind doesn’t mean you have to lose your dentures”

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6c0629d73e04d7a460088323760129dbf359fba49185d69c5480e3a193565c24.jpg

      • Chucktech

        I miss his shitty show, I think he’s hawt.

        • Lars Littlefield

          That “shitty” show was one of the few bright spots in my life.

          • Chucktech

            Well, apparently there weren’t enough of us…

          • Daveed_WOW

            oh honey

          • Amanda B. Rekendwith
          • ChrisInKansas

            Agreed. I watched every episode. The Wall is way beneath him.

        • safari
          • JDS

            That swimsuit is not holding at all.

          • TrollopeReader

            so ?

          • RoFaWh

            As observant regulars may have noticed, I’m quite a fan of Gregg Homme men’s undies. One of the side benefits of this obsession is the photographic record of their garments, both on the web and in the printed catalog they issue twice a year. Their photographer is very careful to make sure that bulges are visible.

            The more transparent of their offerings involve photos that show off the details of penis and balls, but here’s a less NSFW example:

            Example:

            http://gregghomme.com/image/data/products/0-09561/950newcolors/95003-03-close-side.jpg

            I derive further amusement from their insistence that their models be uncut and as well hung as can be managed. The less well-endowed models wear metal cockrings during photo shoots. [Edit: And just how do I know that? Sharp eyes and paying attention to detail.]

          • Carissa

            Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
            On tuesday I got a great New Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
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        • vorpal

          He’s on a new shitty show called “The Wall”, which is a pretty bad game show that’s essentially an hour-long version of the Price is Right game, “Plinko.”

          I kinda miss @Midnight, even though there were many episodes that just weren’t very funny.

          He is very easy on the eyes… but have you seen the pics of him from back when he was a chunky alcoholic?

          • Chucktech

            No! Haven’t seen those, don’t think I need to…

          • vorpal

            The transformation is really amazing. I actually found it quite inspiring to see how much he got his life together.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      “Palestinny”?

      “United Shatesh?”

      • Lumpy Gaga

        Can’t blame that first one on the dentures. It was right after “Israeli”.

      • Daveed_WOW

        Yesh. Whash thish werds?

        https://youtu.be/CQokp6UvYwk?t=1m38s

        • Jamie Brewer

          Cult favourite…. Hello…. welcome to my home!! this is my cat Snow and this is my dog Charles……

          • Daveed_WOW

            I read porn to the blind and I tatoo eyebrows on my purebreads. I’m a pirate!

      • TrollopeReader

        I wanna grab some pushhy….yeah, pushhy ….

        • Lumpy Gaga

          Pussh it REAL GOOD!

    • June Gordon

      At first I thought he’d had a stroke when I heard “United States,” but it does look like he was about to swallow his lower teeth. It’ll cost ya $5 extra, but I’ll take mine all the way out back by the dumpster behind the Burger King, fellas!

    • Luddite

      WTF is going on with the Dotard?

    • Adam Schmidt

      It wouldn’t be lowers that are loose for him to make those sounds, it would be uppers. Watching the video I didn’t see any motion in his upper teeth nor did I see him clench his jaw as if he was trying to push an upper plate into the correct position. There’s definitely something going on, I’m just not sure that it’s dentures.

      • RoFaWh

        It may very well not be dentures but it’s fun playing the game of pretend, particularly in the knowledge that if it is dentures, Donnie boy will be ever so pissed that the secret is out.

      • Manny Espinola

        Definitely uppers. He “reigned in” the dentures with split-second vacuum-pursed lips on 0:15, 0:20 (where he turned to his left to hide it from the camera), and 028, but failed to catch it on the “Unyshed Shaychs: at the end.

        • Uncle Mark

          Figures…Fake President, fake billionaire, fake facts, fake outrage, fake hair, fake Christian, fake college,…and now fake teeth. (Frankly, is anyone surprised?)

    • Steverino

      Maybe hechsh trying to hschound like Winchschton Chsurschill, or perchshapsch like the late Dear Abby with that lateral lichsp.

      “Piccadilly Cschirchlechs, you chsolved a lot of prablemchs for Dear Abby!

    • RickCabral

      Superglue!!

  • kareemachan

    Why not all of the above.

  • Jerry Kott

    His A1C is probably stroking him out and coma is right around the corner. Give him more high carb food, lots of it, please.

    • Mike_in_the_Tundra

      Give him a shake with each Big Mac.

      • Chucktech

        Apparently, he insists.

    • Reality.Bites

      So much nicer to contemplate than dentures.

      I will point out though, that there are lots of quite fat people who are not diabetic, just as there are many life-long smokers who don’t die of heart or lung disease.

      • Jerry Kott

        The first thing many people say to me with dismay when they are informed that I am Type 2 is ” your are not fat!”. I am aware that the rule of thumb is generalizing, but there are clues that this fuck is off the rails and and his erratic behavior has a source including his emotional imbalance. At his age, he can’t eat shit like that without consequences.

        • RoFaWh

          I can remember going into a MacDonald’s nearly fifty years ago (when I war jes a young squirt) and having a Big Mac, a Quarter Pound mit queso, a large order of fries (no supersize in those days), and a chocolate shake.

          My basal metabolism was a lot higher then than now.

          • Jerry Kott

            Today, I could not remember my name after a meal like that.

  • gOf

    He uses Scotch tape to hold his tie…why wouldn’t he use bubblegum to hold his dentures?

  • vorpal

    I blame heel spurs.

    • RoFaWh

      You would.

  • The_Wretched

    Dentures
    Drug abuse
    alcohol abuse
    micro strokes

    He could clear that up by releasing a medical report like all the other presidents have. Evenso, he’s the freaking president and can’t get someone to help him with his dentures? This is right up there with his inability to a tie and use of scotch tape to hold the ends together.

    What an utter embarrassment for the nation. I swear the clown-in-chief is there to degrade the nation for the jollies of the aristo-donor class.

    • Chucktech

      Probably stiffed his dentist…

      • RoFaWh

        Or else went to the cheapest denturist he could find.

        And then stiffed him!

  • Dreaming Vertebrate

    Trump (to personal dentist): Next time – if the teeth don’t stay, there will be hell toupee. Believe me!!

  • JoeMyGod
    • Photos of him wearing his half-moon reading glasses are very, very rare and most often captured only through SUV windows.

      Worth remembering there are all kinds of dentures & bridges: Full, partials, etc. Still, someone with his money could probably afford implants easily.

      • Cuberly Deux

        I can’t imagine him sitting still long enough in a dentist chair outside of getting the quickest solution so he could get back to the crazy.

  • JoeMyGod

    And there’s already a Twitter account for this.
    https://twitter.com/TrumpsDentures/status/938517805200236544

    • coram nobis

      “I’m just his mouthpiece.”

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    OT- You have to be Fucking Kidding me !!%#%$#

    https://twitter.com/kenvogel/status/938506594245103621

    • JCF

      We’re surprised why?

      • Mike_in_the_Tundra

        I don’t know, but I’m shocked that she can be so blatant.

    • The_Wretched

      She’s been a right wing nut job activist since day one. She’s been on the boards of companies who appear before the court as defendants and gets literally millions of dollars from them. Were Justice Thomas on any other court, he’d be remove for multiple and substantial and on-going violations of the code of judicial ethics.

      He’s not well respected in the legal community for several reasons but that’s a big one.

  • PickyPecker
    • coram nobis

      “Of course, it’s part of his duties as the nation’s Polydent.”

    • RoFaWh

      A better caption:

      “I am a vampiress and if you are not obedient I will bite your neck and suck you dry.”

      Maybe

  • OdieDenCO

    figures, every thing else about donny is fake.

    • FelineMama

      Except all that fat he carries around his gut & ass. That is McD real deal!!

  • Kevin Andrews

    Even the damned plastic appliances in the Shitgibbon’s mouth are starting to rebel. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8f6c2ac98fc1f60da04cdd60143df7d63046de6ef34b87bfb0fcd150bb2874d0.png

  • Tomcat

    Official medical report on Trump. He is in great shape, for the shape he is in.

  • Dreaming Vertebrate

    PolyGrip is an amazing product, but it’s just not designed to withstand the corrosive power of undiluted Russian hooker pee.

  • JDS

    Swallow those dentures, please.

  • JCF
  • Tomcat

    Lets see now Preparation H or Poly-grip for dentures, so much to remember.

  • Christopher

    Damn! I was hoping for a stroke, but after watching it twice, ugh I know, it most likely is his dentures.

    • RoFaWh

      What amuses me in this latest bit of Trump drama: Trump has probably tried to keep secret that he has dentures, in the (as usual) mistaken belief that to admit he wears dentures in some mysterious way lessens his importance.

      Worry not, Donnie Two-scoops; your present importance is high but it has nothing to do with the presence or absence of dentures in your lying mouth.

      • kelven

        For a malignant narcissist like Trumpty Dumpty who is stuck in his adolescence, things like dentures and comb-overs are death to his self-image of youthful virility. He is not going to handle this well.

        • RoFaWh

          Trump is quite bald minus the polyester fake hair. Who cuts his hair???

  • Friday’s_cat

    Do you think he pops them out for Vlad?

    • Tomcat

      They fold back for Vlad.

    • Steven Jaeger

      I had this vision of them being left on putin when he’s been busy cock holstering.

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      Rumor has it that Vlad likes gummers

  • kanehau

    God damn it Hope! You forgot the adhesive machine!

  • BlindBill

    The rich guy has dentures like my grandpa did? …. didn’t they make him brush in military school? Buy some Poligrip or something man, dang.

    • Snarkaholic

      Years of poor nutrition will wreak havoc on a person’s mouth.

      • Natty Enquirer

        Also poor hygiene and poor genetics. Some people are more prone to rot than others.

        • RoFaWh

          In Trump’s case, the rot is of more than just his teeth.

      • Lindoro Almaviva

        You didn’t get it. Trump has the money to buy the best dental implants anyone can buy and he has cheap dentures!

        • Snarkaholic

          I get it.

        • thatotherjean

          Trump has money? Trump has debt. Lots and lots of debt.

    • robindaybird

      probably ruined his teeth from overuse of veneers and bleaching products

  • Pip

    Dentures or was he stroking out?

  • MT YVR

    I LOVE that they used “drunk on McDonalds…”

    bwhahaha!

    Him with a big ol blender filled with what used to be food and a straw as thick around as his hands (so.. not very… but still), sluuuurpin’ em back in the Oval Office.

    “Mmmm, that’s good burger!”

  • Sam_Handwich

    well it’s not easy to give a speech with Putin’s cock jammed in your mouth

    i, for one, find this awe inspiring!

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    In other news…. seems Trump JR threw Hope Hickie Hicks under the bus today, said she was the one that wrote the response to the Russia meet, not daddy in June of 16

    • Snarkaholic

      I wonder if there will be any ‘special ingredients’ in the meals Hopeless Hick will be delivering to Chump from now on.

      • RoFaWh

        A soupçon of menstrual discharge would be perfect.

        Donnie will have the proverbial cow when someone finally. clues him in to what he’s been eating.

    • WNY

      They will have been questioning him for around 8 hours today which is more than enough time for him to bury himself with perjury and/or lying to congress charges at the very least

    • The_Wretched

      Trump burns every one. Every one near him is expendable. And he has to throw them all under the bus as he never takes responsibility for his errors (and he’s incompetent at everything).

  • Xaca

    Woe be to the manservant who forgot the Poligrip.

    “All I want for x-mas is my low-er plate, my low-er plate, my low-er plate…..”

    • Lazycrockett

      “Get me the Glue Hope!”

  • Lars Littlefield

    All those “billions” of dollars and he can’t afford decent dental implants? Something is very wrong.

  • Oh, Parker

    Drugs.

  • RobynWatts

    Forget Fixadent, Mr. pResident….try something that would really work. Just remember to apply liberally in your mouth and close it.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/de4a0da73fb2b908b33518b2a91602859215cd1896cc3891be5e5152af6c314b.jpg

    • Natty Enquirer

      CA glue was invented as a suture replacement for battlefield wounds.

      • coram nobis

        I’ve seen surgical glue used in ERs. It can also presumably, be in your first aid kit at home so you can suture self.

        • m_lp_ql_m

          Or sneak a bit into your friends’ bottle of lube. Hilarity ensues.

          • djcoastermark

            Well that would be a VERY quick way to lose a friend. Yikes.

          • 2guysnamedjoe

            It might actually bond you and your friend for a long time. Yikes!

          • lattebud

            Kind of like putting Nair in the hair conditioner bottle

      • RoFaWh

        I dropped a sharp knife once. It hit a big toe and put a nice neat slice right by the nail. The doc at the walk-in clinic used CA glue to treat it. Neat stuff!

        • Bomer

          That’s how the doctor closed up my appendix incision. The interior sutures were the dissolving kind and he used the glue on the outside.

  • The_Wretched

    Back up a second – the President of the US has slurred speech at a news event. Where are the calls from the MSM for a reason?

    Hillary taking a break for 5 minutes is a newsworthy event that demands explanations, where are the calls for the PRESIDENT’s health to be explained?!

    • Hank

      Do not forget when Hilary stumbled….

      • Or coughed once, when she had pneumonia while WORKING.

      • thatotherjean

        Or had to pee, which disgusted Donnie so much. Because he doesn’t, ever?

        • RoFaWh

          Trump is a germophobe (the technical term, per Wikipedia, is mysophobe) and I suspect he has real problems using public restrooms. Even in the White House, where there are certain to be many toilets tucked away in all sorts of odd corners, I bet he’s designated one as “his” and demands it be cleaned with toothbrushes before it’s suitable for his fat rump to descend upon the poor, hapless toilet seat.

  • Jeffg166

    Loose teeth sink countries.

  • Cuberly Deux

    How can he chew burnt steak with dentures?

    I say it’s drugs. Donnie Jr. obviously passed along some bad stuff and Donnie went full on coo coo ca choo.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e8642b50e114a844e9031a3e35c1f6b8bb6ea1944a4a4bc60e024eedb8873657.gif

  • Daveed_WOW

    Deven Greene (Mrs. Betty Bowers) nails this type of speech here:
    https://youtu.be/CQokp6UvYwk

  • JoeMyGod
    • The_Wretched

      I have a bridge I’d like to sell….

      • Daveed_WOW

        Bridge…teeth…good thing I already ate

    • coram nobis

      Sir, did you just say “launch order” or “lunch order”?

    • JCF
      • The_Wretched

        hmm, maybe he was fixing his dentures there and not really getting a drink.

      • RoFaWh

        He is a fucking boor, an unmannered, impolite, uncultured philistine.

  • boobert

    “Was he on drugs? Was he drunk on Big Macs? Tired? Did he just really miss Twitter? ”
    YES ! to all of the above.

    • coram nobis

      He’s either losing his grip, or he’s losing his Polygrip.

      • thatotherjean

        I wouldn’t be upset if it were both.

  • April

    I say stroke and evoke the 25th Amendment. Trump will never admit he wears dentures.

  • UrsusArctos 🐻

    Don’t get the concern. Having dentures means he can lie through his teeth 24/7, they’re just in a container part of that time. If he does the “puppet” thing with them he can also talk out of both sides of his mouth simultaneously.

    • RoFaWh

      It’s that if Trump wears dentures, it’s a Big Secret and he’ll be pissed as all get out if the word gets out.

      A sort of anticipatory schadenfreude, you might say.

  • MUELLER KNOWS

    Dementia or a TIA. The guy is on a path to oblivian.

    • FelineMama

      This “path” is a way too long. How much damage is he gonna afflict on this country, the world, before he is removed from My Whitehouse!!!!!!

      • MUELLER KNOWS

        Mucho

    • RoFaWh

      “Oblivion”

      I ordinarily wouldn’t remark on such a simple typo, but “Oblivian” sounds too much like an ill-chosen name for some model of a Japanese car; how could I resist? Resistance is futile; now hold still, this won’t hurt.

      • MUELLER KNOWS

        LOL. My bad, it was a typo. Posting from my phone gets me sometimes.

  • gaycuckhubby

    OT… I have been following a disturbing story on Twitter regarding the adult entertainment industry over the last couple days.
    Two days ago a straight female performer tweeted that she withdrew from a scene because she found out her co-star also did gay porn. She said she didn’t want to take the health risks.
    Her fear probably came from not being taught the facts, however we teach women that they should say no when they are uncomfortable and they shouldn’t be forced to participate in something they don’t want to
    All of gay porn Twitter descended on her. Big stars telling her she should kill herself, that she would never work in the industry again, that she is homophobic and a bigot and racist. This afternoon she was found dead. Women and adult entertainers get to choose who they work with. Period. They should not be pressured into having sex with anyone no matter the reason. And the over-the-top abuse was unwarranted

    • Bj Lincoln

      Wow. I hope she didn’t kill herself because of the online abuse. I don’t understand why people take any stock in what jerks say on line. People say the worst things because they think no one knows who they are.

      • gaycuckhubby

        In this case it was an onslaught of people in the industry she lived and worked in. That would mess with anyone

        • Bj Lincoln

          Poor thing. Sex workers really do need to join forces and create a union or something. I had a friend who lived in a house full of sex workers. They don’t have any kind of union or group healthcare or legal protections. I don’t understand why they don’t leave but then they all were into specialties and make good money.

          • gaycuckhubby

            I wish sex workers could form a union. Absolutely.

            The sad part is that these were fellow sex workers who were criticizing her. And they’re being so fucking smug about it now. Completely denying any responsibility

          • Bj Lincoln

            Is it sad when people you work with turn on you for standing up for yourself. Ass holes. They are not going to own up to the hate they sent her way. Again, the anonymity of the internet gives them that cover to deny responsibility. This is a sad story.

  • edrex

    that reminds me. i should floss more.

    • RoFaWh

      When you brush, be sure to use your brush with the bristles pointing straight down (or up) so the gum margins get a good going over. It’s where the tooth meets the gum that the worst deposits of tartar form.

      • edrex

        thanks for the tip. i had to cancel my regular cleaning this week due to a scheduling conflict. can’t get in again until february.

      • 2guysnamedjoe

        So you point them down on the uppers or the lowers?

        • RoFaWh

          Bristles pointing straight upwards when doing your uppers, straight down when doing lowers.

          I should mention that this doesn’t take away the need for all the brushing you already do.

          And before I forget: my dentist told me this visit before last. I took it to heart, and last visit the hygienist said the improvement (less tartar at the gumline) was quite perceptible.

  • Ann Kah

    I was listening with one ear, not watching, but my first thought was slipping dentures.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    Fake businessman, author and president also has fake teeth…and this comes as a surprise to who exactly? Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

    • RoFaWh

      Fake penis?

      Fake testicles?

      Fake brain?

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      Lucille Ball, appearing as a guest on the Joan Rivers show, pointed to Joan’s earrings and asked, “Are those real?”

      “Are you crazy?” Joan answered. “Any place you point on me, the answer’s no.”

      The only thing real on cheeto is his enormous ass. And his short fingers.

  • Mike Rasor

    The man has the money why the hell wouldn’t he get dents implants?

    • Bj Lincoln

      Exactly. One would think with all the money in his life that he would have had good dental care. But then crap happens no matter how much you invest in your teeth. My mom is a good example. Her ‘million dollar’ mouth still lost all it’s teeth and she now has full dentures.

      • RoFaWh

        And here I sit, age 74, with a full set of teeth, all 32, including wisdom teeth. Lots of fillings in them, but I’ve only had one [edit: new filling] in living memory.

        Every dentist and dental hygienist who’s looked in my mouth expressed surprise at seeing all 32 teeth in it. I gather that’s uncommon among people my age.

        • 2guysnamedjoe

          A friend (Irish-American) visited her relatives in rural Ireland in the late ’60s. They marveled that she still had all her own teeth at the ripe old age of 19.

    • MarkBuster

      what makes you think he has money? I don’t know many wealthy people willing to do a reality tv show for 8 years. no, I think he’s broke and was living on Russian credit.

      • Bj Lincoln

        He was the star of the show and that means more to him than money. His ego dictates he is the center of attention all the time and he had it there.

        • RoFaWh

          He’ll enjoy being the center of attention, then, when he meets his new cellmate.

        • RoFaWh

          I am from the Society for the Preservation of the Subjunctive Mood in English. I beg to inform you, Madam, that “dictates he is the center of attention” is improper. “Dictates that he be the center of attention”, using the subjunctive, works better.

          Thank you for your anticipated cooperation in this matter.

          Send money. Lots of money.

      • FelineMama

        IF at one time this Doofus in Chief HAD money, I think it was long gone a long time ago. Bankruptcies, foreign resorts, no showing tax returns, etc. ?? I just read he wanted BOO-KOO bucks from donors to get out of the pres. running. Hmmmmmmm.

      • 2guysnamedjoe

        He may not have money, but the one thing he knows is how to obtain goods and services without ever paying for them.

  • Frostbite

    Confefe!

  • jruffdc

    I’m too afraid to watch it, like one of those al queda beheading videos.

  • justme
  • I always thought Trump had his own teeth but maybe he hasn’t. This article is enlightening about how obsessed he is with them. I always thought his teeth were 65 years younger than he is.
    https://drterryshapiro.com/donald-trumps-white-teeth/

    • robindaybird

      not surprised, veneers and teeth bleaching is bad for the enamel – I wouldn’t be surprise if he’s wearing a toupee because he overworked his hair into baldness either

  • Andrew Iverson
    • Gregory Peterson

      Made me laugh…now I’m going to hell…

  • Dale Snyder

    This is definitely not a denture impediment. This has everything to do with a 71 year old man who has lived on McDonald’s and chocolate cake for years. He gains an average of 1/2 pound a day and is clearly going to die very soon.

    • RoFaWh

      A pound of pure fat or oil of any sort weighs 454 g. At 9 calories per gram, that’s about 4100 calories.

      However, when contemplating weight loss, one pound of human fat in situ is generally considered to be equivalent to about 3000 calories. The difference is due to the presence of water, carbs, and protein in human fat (probably mainly water).

      Thus a half pound gain per day suggests Trump eats about 1500 calories a day of food more than he needs.

      That’s a lot! About two Big Macs.

      Your prediction of dying very soon is not unreasonable. We are pretty sure that Trump avoids going to real physicians in general practice: they’d spot (a) his drug habit; and (b) his excessive food intake. And we know Trump intensely dislikes being told “you are doing something wrong.” If a doctor told Trump to lose weight, Trump would probably respond by eating an extra Big Mac every day, and three scoops of ice cream with his chocolate cake.

      He is such a child, such a sissy.

      • coram nobis

        Learn something every day here at JMG. Not pleasant things, always, but this is Don Donald we’re talking.

        PETER MARSHALL: What did Elizabeth Taylor do in 1964 and 1972?
        PAUL LYNDE: Refused an éclair.
        — “Hollywood Squares”

    • coram nobis

      Or have a debilitating stroke, in which case we’re looking at 25th Amendment.

      BTW, Dwight Eisenhower had a heart attack, a bout of Crohn’s Disease, and a stroke in 1955-1957, but gradually recovered each time. Woodrow Wilson, of course, had a debilitating stroke in 1919 and was badly disabled during the rest of his term, and his wife quietly performed some of his executive duties.

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      Oh, you cockeyed optimist, you!

    • leastyebejudged

      You are such a tease !

  • Dayglo

    Let’s pick our battles, people.

  • Pablo Sánchez

    His teeth got tired of having to share space with all that BS in there.

  • Reality.Bites

    Sorry if someone’s made the comment already: maybe if they gave him wooden ones he’d stop lying.

  • coram nobis

    And an on-point film recommendation: “Dave” (1993) with Kevin Kline and Sigourney Weaver.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106673/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

    No spoiler to say it’s about a President who has a debilitating (vegetative) stroke while having an act of congress with his mistress, and his Chief of Staff substitutes a lookalike. Trouble is, the lookalike is an honest guy. Really a touching movie, the sort Frank Capra might have made.

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      I can’t wait to find out who dump’s Megan Marshack will be.
      (Sarah? Kellyanne?)

  • WiMountainBear

    Presidential Sphincter Face…

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      President Sphincter Face

  • Oscarlating Wildely

    Trumpy, Trumpy,. Trumpy, when are you going to learn? Teeth and Putin Penis: bad combination.

  • coram nobis

    Warren G. Harding?

  • Guido Miller

    The proper remedy for Trump’s loose dentures: crazy glue.

    • Mikey

      on the lips.

  • leastyebejudged

    What the fuck… They have these things called implants now, all the rich people have them, chuck norris has a whole mouth fulla ’em.

    DENTURES ? How 1880

  • fuzzybits
  • Manny Espinola

    Erma Gerd called, she’s recommending her dentist.

  • Slippy_World
  • coram nobis

    Don compos mentis!

  • Carissa

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    On tuesday I got a great New Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
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  • Niblet58

    This asshole could afford the highest level of implants.. but he goes cheap with dentures. What a idiot.