ALABAMA: Police Chief Suspended After “Sarcastic” Post Claiming He Was Molested By Democrat Doug Jones

The Birmingham News reports:

A small-town Alabama police chief has been suspended after making “sarcastic” statements about sexual abuse on Facebook. Killen police Chief Bryan Hammond wrote on Facebook that “silence is consent” and made what he called a joke about being sexually assaulted by U.S. Senate candidate Democrat Doug Jones.

“On another note, Doug Jones fondled me on a boy scout camping trip in 1978,” Hammond wrote in a Facebook comment. “I wasn’t gonna say anything, but I just couldn’t stand the thought of him being a senator. I was ok with it until now. By the way, you can’t see me right now but I’m crying as I type this.”

In a phone interview with, Hammond said none of it was true, that he was making a joke. “That was sarcasm,” the chief said. Hammond also posted a photo of a yearbook signature purportedly from Jones. The photo shows this hand-written message: “Bryan, Thanks for the great time camping. Doug Jones.”

Hammond has issued a statement:

“I am truly sorry for any of my comments that may have been offensive to anyone. I never meant for the comments to be taken seriously, they were meant only as a joke with a friend. I’ve learned from this experience to refrain from any discussion that could be offensive to anyone who might read it, even if the comment were not intended as a public post.

“The day after the comments were made my friend discovered that someone saw it as something other than a joke as we both intended and she decided to delete the entire post. Once again, I’m sorry for any comments I made that may have been offensive to anyone who read them.”

  • bkmn

    A fat white guy…I’m shocked. I hope he quickly learns the meaning of slander.

    • Lakeview Bob

      I am sure there a lots of fat white guys on this board. Now if you had said fat white redneck or fat white racist or fat white republican then that would have been different.

      • JAKvirginia

        No one here is fat. They’re fluffy. 😉

        • Bluto

          I’m big boned.

  • JayRock

    Oh great. Let the conspiracy theories from the loons begin.

  • AmeriCanadian

    I have to say that I’m really surprised that the man was suspended in Alabama. Not what I would expect at all.

    • lattebud

      Suspended while the are preparing his paperwork for a promotion

  • Long Tom

    What a fucking dumb ass.

  • Rebecca Gardner

    What an A$$!

  • Jonathan

    What a fat stupid hick pig.

  • Robincho

    Must. Not. Make. Pun. About. Hammond. Organ…

    • another_steve

      Too late, Robincho. You’ve brought shame and disgrace upon yourself.

      No one on this blog will ever respect you again.

      • Robincho

        Then my work here is finished… 😉

        • David Walker

          Nah. Stick around. You pedaled the Hammond Organ pun pretty well.

        • jimfern

          Really pulled out all the stops, didn’t you?

          • Robincho

            Pedal to the medal, yo…

  • Oh he can go fuck himself with a broken dildo and icy hot for lube.

    • JAKvirginia

      Ouch! No really. OUCH!

  • Boreal

    He should be fired and lose his pension for being a total asswipe.

    • Chucktech

      oh come own, now, hes just a good ol bo-woy he dont meen no horm.

      • Boreal

        I would love to see him whine and cry about it then.

      • wmforr

        Yeah, as some female Trumpette said after the Hollywood Excess tape came out, “All men talk like that.”
        Translation: “My husband, my father and my brother are all pigs.”

      • Steverino

        And he’s gonna vote fer that good upstandin’ Chrischin Judge Roy Mow-er!

  • Adam Stevens

    I wonder how funny Beevis thinks his joke was now?

    Can his Go Fund Someone Stupid page be far behind?

  • Bad Tom

    Demonstration that yes, there are some fake claims.
    Which are being rejected pretty quickly.

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    Is his position elected? Or was he appointed?

    • Chucktech

      Probably bubbled up, like scum on pond…

  • MikeBx2

    I’m sorry people actually saw the kind of person I really am.

  • Boreal

    Bryan Hammond loves gay porn.

    • William

      When will he show off his dildo collection?

      • He looks more like a diapers and butt-plug type to me.

        • William

          What fun is a butt-plug without wearing a wet suit or two?

        • Reality.Bites

          You’d better not be talking about the dog!

    • PickyPecker
      • Boreal

        Now that dog DOES look smarter with glasses, Rick Perry, not so much.

        • Lumpy Gaga

          They both have “Oops” moments. How can you tell them apart?

  • “I was just making a joke” = the last refuge of the despicable.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      So he basically turned himself into one.

  • The_Wretched

    I keep thinking police chiefs should have better judgment than average. I mean, it’s not like they have the power to harass, jail and otherwise screw up peoples lives on a whim.

  • Capritaur

    We have yet to see a true scandal arise where the allegations are not corroborated or admitted.

  • ColdCountry

    He didn’t realize that a facebook post that “wasn’t intended to be public” would be seen by lots of people? How stupid is he? /rhetorical question

    • Chucktech

      Hey, Alabama pig! Facebook has a button to keep your stoopid, insipid posts among your “Fray-ends” and not public, you hillbilly imbecile.

    • Cuberly Deux

      What is it about FaceBorg that enables certain people to post the most self damaging garbage? Does this dipshit think his title and profession inoculates him from responsibility? Never mind, I just answered my own question.

  • Secure

    I won’t be going to Alabama.

  • Yalma Cuder-Zicci

    You know, if someone accused me of child molestation, they could explain that joke in court.

    • Guy in CA

      Sadly as a Democrat if Doug Jones sued for defamation of character he would loose in a Alabama court.

      • Helen Damnation™

        Probably. Note to self: Never go back.

    • Ben in Oakland

      Once, when I was on the campaign trail some 40 years ago, one of these morons made the statement about all gay men being molesters.

      I said, “my name is Ben in Oakland. I am a gay man. yes or no? Are you calling me a child molester?”

      “Well, I, errr, uh….”

      “are you?”

      “Well, it’s well known.”

      “Are you calling me a child molester? Yes or no?”


      I think he could see a slander suit staring him in the face.

      • wmforr

        I’m surprised that after N+ infinity straight men are now accused, that the fright ring isn’t pointing at Spacey and saying, “See! All gay men are predators.”
        What amazes me is that rich men of power think whacking their wing-wang in front of a woman is a “seduction technique”.

        • Ben in Oakland

          All of my straight women friends have told me that the bulk of heterosexual men are notoriously clueless.

          • dagobarbz, fine Italian shoes

            Well ffs, so many of them think sending dick pix is “flirtation.”

          • Ben in Oakland

            I know. That is so this millennium, and just as tasteless as it ever was.

        • JAKvirginia

          Because they won’t admit it’s their bank balance the ladies find attractive. Idiots.

  • penpal

    Oh ho ho. Republicans and their brilliant senses of humor. Joking about child molestation with one candidate when child molestation really has occurred with the other candidate. Fingering kids is no big deal to these monsters.

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    He basically told the people of his city not to bother reporting sexual abuse because it gives him a laugh.

  • William

    Doug Jones has better taste than hitting on your goober ass.

  • Cuberly Deux

    Another one to add to the list of people that should NEVER have been in law enforcement to begin with.

    • Chucktech

      …even in Alabama.

  • DisqusD37

    “I’m in law enforcement and called an innocent man running for public office a pedophile. SORRY IF ANYONE WAS OFFENDED.” Get out of here, asshole.

    • Mrs. Councillor Nugent

      He’s one dumb-ass shit

      • Len Ricci

        did you expect anything different from a Bammer?

    • zhera

      But but but sarcasm! Humor! Of which the repubs have none.

      This guy and his friend are despicable and he should lose his job over this.

    • crewman

      When I robbed a bank at gunpoint in a ski mask, it was just performance art. Sorry if anyone was offended.

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    • Jeffg166

      I’m sure he is a “good christian”. Wink, wink.

      • John Galt

        I am pretty sure this actually did happen. The chief is just afraid and now says it’s a joke. I believe he did do this to this poor man and he is having to deal with the emotional scars as well as the victim blaming by you people!

  • Henry Auvil

    It’s always “I’m sorry if anyone found my comments ‘offensive’. Never “I’m sorry that I was such a blithering asshole.”

    • Sporkfighter

      I could respect someone who apologized for being an asshole.

  • Tor

    More proof that conservatives do not understand humor.

    • CottonBlimp

      They don’t even know what “sarcasm” means.

  • Jay George

    I hope he enjoys his next incarnation as a mall cop. Maybe he can be the one to allow Moore back onto the food court.

  • Treant

    “This chief pinned me down and fucked me without lube. I bled for days.”

    So how funny is it now that the shoe’s on your foot, buster? Not very, I’m thinking.

  • another_steve

    This current feeding frenzy horror show we’re living through will all have been worth it if it revives the Donald Trump sexual harassment story. He admitted to the exact types of behavior his accusers have accused him of. The “Access Hollywood tape,” anyone?

    Why isn’t the media going after that son-of-a-bitch predator in the Oval Office?


    • April

      That billionaire guy with the impeach Trump ads needs to buy prime time TV spots and play the Access Hollywood tape. No edits or bleeps.

      • another_steve

        Ohmigod, thank you!

        Thank you!

  • Steve Morrison

    This is how the new Evangelical Taliban works. Spread a false rumor and then later, under pressure, take it back in a non-appolgy. You can’t unring a bell! ASSHOLE

    • BearEyes

      and in the meantime, the low info crowd believes it.

      • Vista-Cruiser

        Precisely. Way too many Alabamans will believe the story about the Boy Scout camp, and won’t believe that it was made up.

  • Duh-David

    I continue to be amazed at the number of idiots who keep saying, “The MyFace/ Qwitter/ TwoCube/ JMG comment was not intended as a public post.” Are homeschools not teaching how the interweb works?

    • The_Wretched

      When you take a place in government – especially one of public visibility and trust – you do lose a lot of privacy. People don’t like a ton of overt bias in their cops, judges, mayors etc…

      • Duh-David

        Public figure or not, it’s much like saying, “I didn’t think my neighbors would see that big, blinking, neon sign I put in my front yard.”

    • Buford

      EXACTLY. He simply demonstrated that he’s too stupid to be a cop.

      • Sporkfighter

        Do you mean he has demonstrated that he’s too stupid to be a cop or that in a rational world he would have demonstrated that he’s too stupid to be a cop? Unfortunately, they aren’t the same thing.

        • Buford

          Setting the content of his comments aside, the fact that he didn’t realize that, as a cop, his controversial Facebook comments could potentially impact his career confirms that he’s too stupid to be trusted with authority and a gun.

          • Sporkfighter

            Were that only true. But . . . Alabama.

  • MikeBx2

    I’ll bet his Sunday school class thought it was hilarious. Baptist, I’m guessing.

  • FAEN

    Sexual molestation is NOT a joke asshole.

  • jruffdc

    Cops. They’re all this stupid.

    • Treant

      The majority. Fortunately, some are hot, built, hairy, and at least willing to temporarily go gay.

      • jruffdc

        I fucked one in his shower. He loved it.

        • FAEN

          Send him over immediately! Or at least let me join.

          • Treant

            Hell, I just had to wash the sheets because last night got a little…wet. Messy. You know the drill.

            Even so, I’d at least watch those two go after a cop. 🙂

          • jruffdc


          • FAEN

            ATTA BOY!

          • jruffdc

            That was 27 years ago. Lol

          • FAEN

            LMAO! Lordy that gave me a good chuckle.

          • FAEN

            Well just for the future if you find yourself in that situation…

          • jruffdc

            If only. Lol

          • FAEN

            We can dream lol.

          • FAEN

            BTW-if that’s both of you in the pic-WOOF!

          • jruffdc

            Thank you very much. No. That’s me and the Husbear. The cop was engaged to a woman, so I kicked him to the curb.

          • FAEN

            Oh I was meaning you and the husband. Handsome couple.

          • jruffdc

            He’s a sexy bear. It was an online hookup that never ended

          • FAEN

            That’s fabulous and gives me hope. BTW-you are both sexy!

        • Treant

          I think you mean “in his ass.”


          • JAKvirginia

            Well, if that’s what he was showing.

  • Rex

    When asked, around the table on Thursday, what I’m thankful for I’m going to say that I’m not from Alabama.

    • Maggie 4NoH8

      I said I was thankful for Robert Mueller at the office Thanksgiving function this year…

  • Judas Peckerwood

    The chief really is rocking that Josh Duggar look.

  • Ben in Oakland

    Now that we have his statement and his apology for it, it may well be time for a bible suit by Mr. Jones after the election.

  • HoneyBoySmith

    This is the Alabama I got to know from spending time in my mother’s home town as a kid.

    People talk about Southern hospitality. And, it’s true to an extent: if you’re the right race and practice the right religion and support the right football team, they’re super nice.

    But, if you fall outside those parameters, they’re the most hateful assholes in the universe.

    Alabama is a garbage State filled with garbage people.

    • zhera

      In Norway we call this ‘bygdedyret’. Directly translated it means village beast.

  • Clive Johnson
    • The_Wretched

      Never say more to a cop than you must and always keep it narrow and on point. Open ended questions are a trap, answer them with requests for positive questions from the cop.

      • Buford

        Also, read up on Rodriguez v. United States… the 2015 SC ruling which says that cops cannot delay a traffic stop for any longer than necessary to handle the normal considerations of a traffic stop. They cannot, for example, decide to search your car or make you wait for a drug-sniffing dog if there’s no probable cause suggesting drugs are in the car.

        • Helen Damnation™

          All they have to do now is say “I smell weed”. Probably cause requirement is now satisfied! (And you can’t prove they didn’t.)

          • Manny Espinola

            Or just be NOT caucasian

      • Helen Damnation™

        How about “when can I call my lawyer?”

        • The_Wretched

          Only if you’re being arrested.

          • Helen Damnation™

            Right. Until then, say nothing. DO NOT TALK TO THE POLICE. THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS.

      • Jean-Marc in Canada

        And don’t forget to turn on your phone to record the exchange. We have a double lens camera on our dash (looking out and in). Whenever we’ve been stopped (which is super rare), we hit record. You’d be amazed at how civil and “professional” cops get when they realize they’re being recorded. Suffice to say, they don’t get lippy. Also, there’s an app that allows your recording to download to the cloud as it’s happening and there’s also live stream just in case the cop tries to snatch the phone from you. Sadly, our trust in cops is almost non-existent, especially when we traveled the states. Up here it’s not as bad…not perfect, but nowhere near as bad.

        • MichaelJ

          You have to do this shit in Canada? You’re spoiling the illusion many of US Americans have of Canada as an idyllic country.

          • Jean-Marc in Canada

            No, we don’t have to, it’s just something we do because of our experiences stateside. We’ve been stopped a total of 5 times in the last 3 years. 3 for the R.I.D.E. program (anti-drunk driving stops, which we support) and 2 for dubious speeding, both of which we won in court. Point being, it’s not that our cops are necessarily as bad as they are in the states, but we do have our share and it never hurts to have ‘backup’ as it were.

          • prixator

            The cops here do share that militaristic attitude of cops most everywhere and they do stick up for each other more often than they should.

            Very early, I learned a good lesson about cops; for a year while in college, I shared a house with 3 other guys, one of whom was a police cadet. The stories he told! Made me never want to be on the bad side of a cop.

            A few years later, I was driving quite late at night and was pulled over for a broken headlight (or taillight, I don’t remember now). My aunt worked for a bank and had helped me get a cheap loan for the car but that meant it was registered in her name.

            The cop took my papers and went back to his cruiser. He made me sit there for close to an hour without explanation. He finally returned and gave me a ticket that he said I could avoid paying if I got the light repaired within a day or two.

            When I got home, my bf was all upset and told me call my aunt immediately. It was like 1 or 2 am but I called her. The cops had visited her house while I was sitting waiting for the other cop. They asked her if she was the owner of my car and she acknowledged. But when she enquired why they were asking, they told her they couldn’t reveal that.

            I’m very fortunate to be an average white guy because I have had almost no more interactions with cops. I hope that I never need to call them. I’m glad that they’re there, but there are too many assholes who like to abuse the power of their position (who get protected by the better ones).

        • Misutaa Roboto

          All good advice. I think we might need to get some restrictions (and a way to enforce them) on cops jamming data signals from cell-phones, though. If it’s not happening already, it will soon.

  • Darrel Cj

    Boy, they’re really doing a bang-up job down there showing us that they’re not all a bunch of hee-haw stereotypes

  • William of Glynn

    I like’m big and dumb, but this is too much.

  • edrex

    i’m sure the roy moore campaign will say he’s a little slut and he was asking for it.


    I always wondered what happened to that horrible old fake 70’s PARQUET wall paneling sold at the local hardware store. Yep, found a home in Police Chief Hammond’s office in Bumfuck, AL. As the line goes from Sordid lives….”Well it all tracks back.”

    • canoebum

      It’s supposed to look like butternut, a lighter sibling of black walnut. Still, pretty tacky.

    • Maggie 4NoH8

      Wanda Jean from Abilene!

      Have you seen A Sordid Wedding? It is fabu!

  • Buford

    I’ll state the obvious… if he weren’t a cop, this guy might be a clever blogger. I don’t agree with his politics, but the joke was clever enough. His blog might even be an entertaining read now and again.

    BUT, he IS a cop. He should know that he’s supposed to display reasonable judgment when dealing with the public, and Facebook ain’t exactly private. What a moron.

  • JWC

    Ya a great big joke asshole

  • TexasBoy

    “….even if the comment were not intended as a public post.”

    Evidently he knows nothing about security settings or how Facebook works.

    • MBear

      No one really does

  • fastlanestranger

    F**k you

  • andrew

    It’s just nuts that people who post nasty untrue things about others think that saying I apologize for things that “may have been offensive to anyone” excuses their lies.

  • Thorn Spike

    So, that went well.

  • Joseph Miceli

    “Yes, joking about sexually molesting kids is funny!!! Ha ha ha! Gee, I need to remember that anyone can find anything offensive, even something as innocent as an adult fondling a Boyscout. I guess no one got the joke. I’m sure the Sen. candidate Doug Jones found it funny to be thought of in that way!” …wasted human tissue and disgraced ex-chief of Police Bryan Hammond.

  • Piernudo15

    This sure does sound like grounds for a libel lawsuit.

    • Jean-Marc in Canada

      Joke or not, he made a public statement that appeared to be an actual accusation. Yeah, that’s got defamation written all over it.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    Alabama, where kiddie fucking is considered a joke. Fuck ‘Bama and all the kiddie fucking assholes who live there.

  • Ninja0980

    If you put something on your Facebook/twitter etc., you are making a public post.
    And saying it’s a “joke” when you are a public official won’t fly.

  • Guest

    What an asshole.

  • Taylor Bixler
  • RJ Tremor


    • JAKvirginia

      Because for these assholes it’s all a joke. (BTW: I think he’d love to be fondled. By anyone.)

  • Being an asshole in private is one thing. Your mean, nasty sense of “humor” might be appreciated by other assholes, but when you put it out in public it bites you in the ass. I don’t know why this is so hard to understand. If you are someone with the slightest tendency to say thing that you will hater have to apologize, get your ass off social media! Turn your accounts over to someone with far more tact and let them filter what you might want to say. (This goes for a number of liberals as well including Alec Baldwin.)

  • Bambino

    Ha! Ha! It’s so funny, I wonder I should come forward and make a joke of this asshole molested me when I was 12.

  • Mike

    When Alabamians aren’t griping about stereotypes we mean northerners apply to them, they are griping that there’s nothing wrong or unusual about a man in his thirties “courting” teenagers at the mall, ringing them up at school, and trying to coax them out of their clothes.

    • Ben in Oakland

      It would only have been unusual if she were his sister, or under 10.

  • Deacon Phreque

    Another humor-impaired retardlican who doesn’t know the meaning of the word “sarcasm”.

  • Jack

    Silence isn’t consent. Silence is silence.

  • sword

    I wonder how many people he has put in jail because he was just making ‘sarcastic jokes’.

    • Gianni

      Or that he so didn’t like something about them that it was OK to trump up whatever charges he made. Now that you mention, I wouldn’t put it past this sort of creep.

  • Dunkerblinker

    Looks like he was molested by the Hamburglar.

    • Ben in Oakland

      useless rusty piece ofcrap?

      • tool

        • Ben in Oakland

          I know. I was being facetious.

          • Oh, sorry. I thought that I was being murky

  • Bluto

    I trust no one who uses floor covering on walls.

    • Maggie 4NoH8

      No shit Bluto! I’m with you.

  • Pip

    Know what would encourage me to report rape or sexual abuse? My local sheriff ‘sarcastically’ joking about rape and sexual abuse.

  • Andrew Brown

    That is lying, not sarcasm. Even the Snoopy sitting on the toilet (see wall in the background) knows this guy is nothing but crapola.

  • John Thayer

    Liberals – they can’t understand a joke, they can’t meme, don’t know what irony is and stumble over satire.

    • Ben in Oakland

      Trumpanzees and evangelicals: they can’t understand slander, lying, and child molestation, don’t know what irony is, stumble over intelligence.

    • Gianni

      It’s no joke when someone’s reputation is the object of the smear. No joke at all!

    • Kevin Andrews

      Making a false accusation of rape is a Felony. Bring the charges and teach these inbred, incestuous lying bastard to indictment and criminal conviction.

      • John Thayer

        He is Chief of Police. Jones is soft on crime, soft on immigration enforcement and soft on the 2nd Amendment.

  • JCF

    “only as a joke”

    Very funny, muthafucka. Take your “SorryNotSorry” and shove it!

  • Gianni

    Well, joke or not, there’s the first example of using this current flood of revelations to impugn the reputation, integrity, and possible election win of a candidate someone, in law enforcement no less, doesn’t like because he’s of the “Other” political party. This man should be fired, post haste.

  • Kevin Andrews

    One more lying Republican Missionary of Hate. This glorified hall monitor and his tin badge belong in prison for false accusation of Rape. That won’t happen in the inbred, incestuous, pedophile-loving population of the most backward septic tank of a State that ever existed. Even Jan Brewer looks like a saint compared to this walking, talking, typing feces.

  • Grumpy Old Man Jeebus-H-fucking-christmas – at the very least, he should be fired for inability to understand consequences.

  • TheManicMechanic

    This happened in Alabama? I’m surprised he wasn’t promoted instead of fired.