Moore’s Lawyer To MSNBC Host: With Your Background You Should Understand Dating The Underage [VIDEO]

So this just happened:

An attorney for Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore seemed to suggest Wednesday that MSNBC host Ali Velshi’s “background” might help the TV journalist understand why the Republican nominee would date underage women.

“Culturally speaking there’s differences. I looked up Ali’s background, and wow, that’s awesome that you have got such a diverse background, it’s really cool to read through that,” attorney Trenton Garmon said when asked why Moore would need permission from girls’ mothers to date them.

Velshi was born in Kenya to parents of Indian descent and grew up in Canada.

  • Pollos Hermanos

    Why am I having memories of The Birdcage?

    The Reverend Al Sharpton said today that Jackson’s last words
    “Your money’s on the dresser, chocolate.” – were racist. The prostitute’s given name was Natumbundra…

  • Boreal
    • Lizard

      You’ve been getting a lot of play on this gif recently…

      • Boreal

        It’s been a regular derpfest of late.

    • William
      • Lars Littlefield
        • William

          That’s the most coherent Trump’s ever been.

        • Pluto Animus

          The original version was very progressive for its day, making a point of girls of different races singing together.

          From the very first season of Sesame Street:

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsjcb7w1Y-w

      • Ragnar Lothbrok

        My fried Mona was born in Monona county. I wonder if she knows about Manamana ?

        *true story

  • bkmn

    Why do I get the feeling Roy is not the only kiddie fucker in town?

    • JCF

      Check the, um, “background” of his lawyer, for example!

      • William

        He’s a personal injury lawyer. I thought rethuglicans hated them.

        • Tomcat

          Well he sure inflicted some injury to himself in that clip.

          • Joe in PA

            Pffft, not to fans of Roy Moore. 🙁

        • Bad Tom

          Except for their own personal injury lawyers.

          • Xuuths

            GOP hypocrisy is a feature, not a bug.

        • dukeofhurl
        • jerry

          Probably Moore had to get an attorney on a contingency basis.

        • HoratioCaine

          he calls himself a personal injury lawyer. he’s anambulance chaser who harrasses for settlements. given his bio page i doubt he’s ever set foot in court.

      • Gustav2

        He also is connected to Ms Moore’s PAC/charity/or whatever the hell it is that makes them the big bucks.

        • David Walker

          Christ-o-scam may be what you’re looking for.

          • Joe in PA

            Lotta that going around. 🙁

      • JackFknTwist

        Absolutely amazing that the public discourse has sunk about as low as the gutter.. The whole atmosphere of opinion exchange in the USA has been weaponized by a lying administration and by a deliberately manipulative tabloid FOX shi t fest.

        Now a cheap talking-head spits out his coy brand of venom and parades some vague innuendo.
        The shi t is spreading.

      • Mike Knife

        Again lawyer proves why people think they are scum bags, like his client.

    • Tawreos

      or on his team

    • Methinks it’s time to air out the laundry of every social conservative figure out there.

    • Lazycrockett

      Alabama has the most Malls of any state in the USA.

      • AmeriCanadian

        I would have thought that back in “the day”, it would have been the local Rolladium.

      • Reality.Bites

        I assume that’s just a reference to Moore’s cruising grounds? So many states have vastly larger populations and area, they’d need many more malls.

      • Chucktech

        How’s that working for them in 2017?

      • FAEN

        And one of the unhealthiest populations-they’re always in the top 5 within that category.

    • EdA

      Because he’s from Alabama? Not so far from the Duggars in Arkansas. But nobody has claimed that he’s been related to any of the bobbysoxers he’s been dating.

      (What just came to mind was the disdain and dismay occasioned by NAMBLA. But this guy is supposed to get a completely free pass??

      • David Walker

        Well, yeah. I mean, diddling tweenage girls might not be the most honorable thing, but at least it ain’t with boys. At least it’s understandable. But with a boy? Ain’t mos supposed to have icky buttsechs? I mean, it may not be excusable, but it’s…SQUIRREL!!!!

        • RoFaWh

          Butt sex is only icky if the recipient is unfamiliar with more advanced methods of attaining a hygienic state than mere t.p.

      • Gregory B

        “But nobody has claimed that he’s been related to any of the bobbysoxers he’s been dating.”
        Small miracle, that…

    • Treant

      I’m going to resist the comment that’s on the tip of my tongue. But I will say that birds of a feather fuck kids together.

    • MrRobotoLA

      Didn’t I see this guy with a tiki torch somewhere?

    • TrueWords

      This is what I would have said to him and then cut the feed:

      http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/114/412/2da.gif

    • FAEN

      Honey it’s Alafuckingbama.

  • JoeMyGod

    The other night this guy called Don Lemon “Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy.”

    Twice.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MFxV4i9uJU

    • Pollos Hermanos

      The Maalox bill at GOP headquarters has got to be in the billions by now.

      • Todd20036

        You’re assuming someone actually sees the GOPedos as behaving improperly.

        • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild

          They got their side pieces but they are tactful enough to keep it behind closed doors. The mainstream GOP are cunning enough not to get caught on tape, camera, or without an NDA doing the things Roy Moore is into.

    • BockMcMillan

      He is an asshole who believes he is soooooooooooooo funny

      • specialcircumstances

        Pretty much what i was thinking

      • Guess

        So, Jesse Watters with a well-purchased law degree?

    • David J

      Oh, I get it now, this lawyer figure, (who is in Florida for some reason) likes to insult talk-show hosts who ask legitimate questions about his client. That, together with the “vast liberal media conspiracy” charge, seems to work in Alabama for Roy Moore fans, but anywhere else in the U.S.A., (or much of the civilized world), looks like slime and sounds like the words of an incompetent lawyer attempting to defend the indefensible.

      • Lizard

        Not to mention in a court of law…

    • 2patricius2

      “Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy”? WTF! What a jerk!

      • Todd20036

        Yeah I don’t get it either, but it sure sounds childish and unprofessional, given this is an on camera interview.

        • 2patricius2

          And he repeated it twice. Till Lemon had to correct him. And this “Foundation for Moral Law” is a sham. It has nothing to do with morality and everything to do with bigotry.

          • Chucktech

            …and paying Moore a half a million dollars under the table.

        • Chucktech

          dohwn’ bother he-yim none

        • DaveMiller135

          Once Trump called Kim Jong-un “short and fat” in a fit of governing by “I know you are, but what am I,” I think all bets were off on childish name-calling.

          • RoFaWh

            Trump seems to me to be stuck in grade two (second grade to Murricans) in many ways.

        • RoFaWh

          It doesn’t just sound that way. It is that way.

    • Ernest Endevor

      Wow! Mr Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy sure can hold a stone face! Most impressive. The ‘lawyer’ seems to be auditioning for an amateur production of The Little Foxes and not doing terribly well.

      • HoratioCaine

        he would be terrible as leo.

    • netxtown

      I can’t recall the last time I was edged along that well. He’s got a tongue slicker than a 20 dollar whore, some nice fat lips, he sucks, has got lots of blow, and obviously he swallows (anything Roy Moore gives him….)

    • Chucktech

      Yeah, why don’t you go squeeze Don’s lemon, you suthun asshole…

    • Chucktech

      7:50: “I’m steel tawkin, boy…”

    • Lumpy Gaga

      Trenton Makes. The World Takes.

    • The_Wretched

      Birds of a feather and all but yikes, talk about people not fit to be an attorney. I hope he tries that line of attack in a courtroom. The judge would fine him.

    • jerry

      Because calling him “boy” would have been really outrageous. (/s sort of)

  • Lizard

    Roy Moore’s lawyer is a shameless racist. Quelle surprise.

    • teeveedub

      Exactly. Big surprise. I wouldn’t expect any attorney with even a shred of integrity to be willing to represent Moore.

  • Harveyrabbit

    I assume that’s the last time that idiot will be on MSNBC. But his phone is ringing right now with calls from FOX and Breitbart who both want the inside info on Velshi’s background.

  • safari

    It looks like Moore went down to central casting and asked for a Nazi lawyer.

    • Lizard

      Hey, he used his influence as an ADA to molest underage girls. Why would he hire anyone with ethics to defend him?

  • William

    Garmon looks like the average attendee of a Tiki torch parade.

  • Gustav2

    “You foreigners, especially Muslim foreigners, should understand our fine Southern Culture of child molesters…as long as we have the mother’s permission.”

    • clay

      “You foreigners, especially Muslim foreigners, [who chose to leave those communities] should understand our fine [preserved] Southern Culture of child molesters…as long as we have the mother’s permission.”

  • Tawreos

    The lawyer is lucky he was on a satellite feed.

  • SkokieGuy [ChicagoAdjacentGuy]

    And when I look up Roy Moore’s Christian background, it suggests KiddieFucker.

  • kladinvt

    The ‘lawyer’ does look like one of the NaziKlan who marched in Charlottesville, so it’s not totally surprising, he would say something so stupid.

  • Oscarlating Wildely

    Is this is lawful and lawyers’ behavior in Alabama I’d hate to see crime.

  • Stev84

    He also forgot to uphold the narrative that Christians are better than Muslims. He basically said that they’re equally bad

  • Lazycrockett

    Ruhle is growing on me and I love that both of them can tag team really well when they go after someone.

  • Remember how Christians raved about Obama bringing Sharia Law and, by extension, child marriages and how awful it is? Because Christians don’t seem to remember.

    • Lizard

      This isn’t the first time. Multiple states have laws permitting child marriage with consent of a parent and Republicans have consistently refused to repeal them.

      • AlternativeQuacks

        Yes, but, strangely, Alabama law is very strict about age of consent the way it’s written. Now, whether or not it’s enforced I don’t know. It sure doesn’t seem like it in Roy Moore’s case.

        Fun fact: All of the age of consent laws in Alabama apply only to heterosexual sex. There is no age of consent law in Alabama regarding gay sex, because Alabama still has laws on its books that make all gay sex illegal despite all the Supreme Court rulings since Lawrence v Texas. So, in order to legally establish an age of consent for gay sex, Alabama would first have to remove their old unconstitutional and unenforceable laws prohibiting gay sex and admit that gay sex is legal, and they just don’t want to do that.

        • The_Wretched

          It’s not a huge issue at law. An attorney would point out the het-law & SCT ruling and say both together get you the same rules for LGBT.

      • coram nobis

        And as I cited elsewhere in this thread, this sort of thing seems to be an intrinsic part of evangelical/homeschool culture.

        http://religiondispatches.org/why-roy-moores-evangelical-supporters-wont-abandon-him/

        • David Walker

          When an apple for the daddy just isn’t enough…

    • TonberryPi

      I’m starting to realize that everything these Christians rail and scream about is something they will actually do. All those slippery slope arguments they bring up – they’ve already thoroughly fantasized about them, and probably are already acting on them. Violence, child abuse, thievery, lying, murder, corruption, treason, etc. They like to monger fear about concentration camps and government overstepping authority to detain people – they plan to do all these things themselves.

      • RoFaWh

        It starts to look like the fake-fundies are, as one would expect when you come down to it, all about projection.

        This is no surprise at all.

  • safari
    • fuzzybits

      They must be so fucking proud.

      • Todd20036

        I see what you did there.

    • Boreal

      Awesome they are doubling down. Go pedophiles!

    • Treant

      (tugs sleeve) Dude. He has sex with children.

      I’d post the South Park image, but I can’t find a good copy.

    • Dazzer

      It’s clearly a fake.

      Hands up everyone who thinks there are enough people in Alabama to read – or WRITE – that number of big words/

      • Steven Jaeger

        you can get those thangs on the inner nets.

    • Joe in PA

      Of course they did.

  • John

    So, he’s implying that fucking children is OK in Alabama because it’s part of the culture? So, everyone from Alabama is OK with adults fucking children? good to know, I needed another reason to avoid visiting that shit hole state.

    • clay

      Now, now, four out of 53 Southern Baptist Pastors disagree.
      Not that they’ll vote for a Democrat.

    • Chris Baker

      yeah, that’s strange. There’s not much denial, just things like “well liberals have dated underage girls, and so have muslims!”

  • Tomcat

    When confused and scared the male primate slings shit all over.

  • AJD

    With the attorney’s accent, he should know a thing or two about copulating with sheep.

    • BockMcMillan

      You mean of course by “the diverse cultural background” that is revealed by his accent he should know about those matters 😉

      • Christopher

        Well that, and he he totally looks like someone who fucks sheep. 😉

        • BockMcMillan

          Agreed 😉

    • coram nobis

      But he doesn’t look sheepish.

      • BockMcMillan

        squint and you will see it

  • Pizza009

    Just grow a pair and use the n word you racist fucktard.

    • Todd20036

      Normal? NIce?
      Actually, the GOP could say THE n-word much more easily than they could say the word “negotiate”.

  • Nic Peterson

    Well kids, this is what we get when the comparison to Jesus fails. It is also why we can’t have nice things. Thanks Al-Abama

  • Do Something Nice

    And ‘the bar’ is lowered each day.

    • Mark_in_MN

      I think the bar should come swinging and expell this lawyer for damage to the profession.

  • MikeBx2

    I think Trump just found another judicial nominee.

  • fuzzybits

    I need to go take a cue from Chico. https://youtu.be/ZptfCkFUga0

    • Dazzer

      That dog is going to fart sooooo bad in just a few seconds.

  • NYCBullDog

    Ugh. Stupid hillbilly. Surely Moore could come up with something better/more professional.

    • Dazzer

      You must have missed Moore’s entire career in public life.

  • Bluto

    Let’s see if I have this correct. A Kenyan born man of Indian decent who grew up in Canada & is either a Canadian or American citizen now makes it’s OK for men to rape minors in Alabama.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/be0368f88e6369ad0377bae8275803c4497131ada08df0720e14b085b75ca5c0.gif

    • Reality.Bites

      To be honest, had we known we’d never have let his family in.

    • Hue-Man

      But but but he’s a MOOSE LAMB! (Many Muslims don’t believe Ismailis are “real” Muslims.)

  • pch1013

    Meanwhile, of course, these same people denigrate Islam because Muhammad was allegedly a kiddie-fucker.

  • Ernest Endevor

    Canada is well-known to be a hell-hole. Murderous gangs roam the streets smashing shop windows and sodomizing Mounties. No young girl – or boy – is safe.

    • coram nobis

      Welcome to Moose Jaw.

      • Treant

        Or Loose Jaw, depending on the skill of the Mountie.

    • Treant

      Uh, more about these Mounties. Is there video? I…uh, want to help them protect themselves, you see.

      • Ernest Endevor

        I applaud your civic spirit. Truly it is heartbreaking to see them struggling against the ropes binding them, only to be thrown into the back of a closed truck by large hairy men brandishing scissors.

        • Treant

          Well, there’s a surprisingly firm erection for Treant. We learn something new about ourselves every day.

          • Ernest Endevor

            Mounties’ll do that every time.

      • Craig Howell

        Contrary to popular opinion, only some of them are Mountees. The rest are Mounters. Just like down here in the USA, with the Yankees and the Yankers.

    • coram nobis

      Well, of course. That’s why they call them the Mounted Police.

  • Ninja0980

    Isn’t it nice to see anchors who won’t put up with bullshit?

  • skyweaver

    “That’s awesome you have such a diverse background” What’s with the weird tendency for white people to grant the status of ‘acceptable’ to someone who isn’t white

    • Tomcat

      I can’t say I have seen that many white people that have the attitude that

      non-whites are acceptable.

      • skyweaver

        I can only answer from my own experience. I was raised in a very politically progressive family, but at times it went too far the other way. I.e. telling people from other races or religions that they were fabulous! And interesting! But the comments were sometimes a little cringeworthy because usually they were reminiscent of nothing. They were just reflexively tossed into the conversation. This clip reminded me of that, just this strange weirdness of sort of patting someone in hthe head and saying wow, you’re so *interesting!* when it has nothing to do with the topic at hand

        • RoFaWh

          Gawd spare me that “interesting” bullshit.

          I’ve been the target a few times (“he’s gay, you know”) so I can say with confidence and believability that it reduces one to the status of a butterfly freshly gassed and ready for pinning in a cork-floored box. A triumph of the collectors’ impulse, if you will.

    • coram nobis

      “You’re a credit to your people.”

    • RoFaWh

      Around here, in the diverse society that is Victoria, BC in the year 2017, I’m really happy we have Indian restaurants and grocery store, like Thai restaurants, Portuguese delicatessens and bakeries, Spanish delicatessens, an Ethiopian take out place, at least one halal grocery, Vietnamese eaves trough installers, and so on.

      Yes, I like to eat.

      Oddly enough, we now have no restaurant featuring classic French cuisine, though we once did.

  • safari

    OT: Yeterday’s gunman was a 43-year old who was out on bail for a previous stabbing. He apparently also killed his wife, bringing his toll up to 5 dead.

    • MikeBx2

      Horrific.

      • Tomcat

        We have to do something about automobiles so theses shooters cannot get around as fast and can’t shoot as many. Hidden sarcasm here.

    • Chucktech

      Yup. Sounds like gun-owner material, doesn’t he?

  • Lazycrockett

    https://twitter.com/TopherSpiro/status/930856933942317057

    this should be retweeted far and wide.

    • safari

      But as someone else pointed out, the numbers would have to be even stronger to equal last year’s total enrollment as Donald has halved the enrollment time period.

      • Tomcat

        Well it will be their loss since the mandate tax is still in effect and goes up a lot next year. Better hurry people.

  • Reality.Bites

    https://twitter.com/journorosa/status/930846201506754560

    Yes it illegal to date 14 year olds in Canada.

    Ever since 2008.

    • Treant
      • Mikey

        that newspaper is opened to a page with articles on the GOP isn’t it.
        that’s just cruel to the poor kittens.

      • Reality.Bites

        It might technically be the case that age of consent for anal remains 14.

        Prior to 2008 age of consent in law was 14 for everything but anal, which was 18. But over the years court rulings in several provinces had struck that down, leaving it at 14 like everything else.

        In 2008 the Conservatives decided to raise the age of consent, but of course declined to equalize things and left the dead law intact when it came to anal intercourse. Court rulings don’t adjust themselves due to changes in laws, so I believe it stands.

        The government introduced legislation a year ago to remove anal intercourse from the criminal code entirely in keeping with the general definition in Canadian law that sex is sex – oral, anal, vaginal is all the same when it comes to age and other consent issues

        • Treant

          Somehow this ended up under my vomiting kitten gif, but I get the point. 🙂

  • Natty Enquirer

    “Many psychologists believe that when a person looks up to their right they are likely to be telling a lie.”
    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/the-truth-about-lying-its-the-hands-that-betray-you-not-the-eyes-7936522.html

  • Treant

    Do people want to tell me that they actually don’t believe these charges are true down there in Alabammy? Really? Fucking really? Then this sort of excuse wouldn’t even be floated.

    Nope, apologists, your brethren know Moore fucks kids. They just don’t care.

    • Jonathan Smith

      they KNOW it’s true.
      they DON’T care
      at least he’s not a (shudder) Democrat.

      • Treant

        Egg-Zactly.

    • Adam King

      They wholeheartedly approve of “courting” 14-year-old girls.

      • Treant

        (Thumbs up) My point exactly. For that reason alone, they lose any claim to moral superiority.

  • gaycuckhubby

    Jesus Fucking Christ

    • Todd20036

      I’ve seen that gif. Pretty hot.

  • Rebecca Gardner

    Republicans, the party of scumbags and masters of psychological projection.

  • bkmn

    Just taking a guess here, did he graduate from Liberty University law skul?

    • RoFaWh

      Worse, surprisingly enough. Like you, I wasn’t aware there were law schools like that.

      • bkmn

        I would really like to know who is signing off on their accreditation.

  • coram nobis

    In a way, it is rooted in Evangelical religious culture. Here’s one explanation, albeit an expedition into bizarro land (with a cameo with the Duggars). Fun fact: 37% of Evangelicals are more apt to support Roy Moore if the allegations are true.

    http://religiondispatches.org/why-roy-moores-evangelical-supporters-wont-abandon-him/

    Many who embrace Biblical Patriarchy and Quiverfull came to the conclusion that contemporary dating practices are harmful to young people and sought to replace them with a system of “courtship” that occurs under the direction of a girl’s father. Courtship is intended to be specifically focused on finding a marriage partner—almost a pre-betrothal, if you will. Courtship happens in the context of a homeschooling family and community where boys are raised to be adventurous and economically self-sufficient with skills that might prove useful in a societal collapse, while girls are raised to be “pure,” meek, dependent and submissive with the goal of becoming appropriate “help-meets” in their future husbands’ exercise of dominion. Independence, autonomy, and self-sufficiency on the part of girls is seen as a (sinful) violation of feminine nature.

    • Gustav2

      That’s why this op-ed in WaPo is BS. David Von Drehle says these folks have hijacked “conservative Christianity” when it has been there the whole time. It is not new, just rebranded and on reality TV

      https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/christians-our-silence-on-roy-moore-isnt-enough/2017/11/14/1d459cda-c96e-11e7-8321-481fd63f174d_story.html?utm_term=.b2185064c0d2

      • coram nobis

        Also from the Religion Dispatches article: “It’s not a southern problem, it’s a fundamentalist problem. Girls who are 14 are seen as potential relationship material.”

        Plenty of hyperlinks in this article, BTW. It’s a more pervasive problem than we think — so most people with a normal background do need to take notice, or take alarm.

        • Gustav2

          The hubby’s boss, who is a conservative Christian living in exurban Ohio, lost contact with her daughter as soon as she was married a couple of years ago. I suggested she married into Quiverfull and they had no idea what I was talking about. They just knew the family were faithful and went to another church.

          She only gets to see her grandchildren for a few hours the day they are born in the hospital.

          • Chucktech

            I would think that if it’s a Quiverfull deal, she’d be seeing LOTS of grandchildren.

          • Gustav2

            Yup.

        • David L. Caster

          Take political and legal aim.

  • Gigi

    Blech! Garmon is creepy AF. Look at this testimonial video that he and his child bride did for their realtor. I would never have taken them on as clients, because ew, but if I had sold them a house the last thing I’d want is them on the internet representing me.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nicpUNBXhXI

    • Tom Ato

      Wow. That is beyond creepy. His hanging on to his chattel as if she might flee speaks volumes.

      • Jay George

        Right? Body language y’all.

    • Boreal

      He’s creepy as fuck. Pedo defends pedo.

    • Jean-Marc in Canada

      Now THAT’S an American Horror Story

    • Bryan

      He’s wearing his pretty power blazer in this video…

      https://youtu.be/7hFgB1Jo000

      • Dazzer

        He stole that from an extra in The Prisoner.
        Probably stripped it from a lifeless body.

        • Bryan

          I think he stole it from Mona down at the Howard Johnson’s soda counter…

      • Gustav2

        You misspelled “purdy”

      • Lumpy Gaga

        Good question. Where IS my hope?

        • Bryan

          Perhaps in the closet with pants that match the blazer.

      • Gigi

        That’s horrifying.

    • Ninja0980

      Why am I not surprised by this?

    • Lumpy Gaga

      …DOWN BY THE RIVER!…

    • Lumpy Gaga

      Okay, I get it now. He’s just really hungry….

  • AlternativeQuacks

    Doubling down on the doubling down on the Alabama factor.

  • Gregory B

    After reading about this lawyer, I have decided to take the afternoon off and become one with the owls. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bb3988f2df46e0b2386b45b981e234cf80ca6a36b6f60b81c6bb2e19d3787a27.jpg

    • Treant

      Yeah, I’m hitting that point as well. I cannot further argue that a child fucker should not be elected to the Senate. I cannot even maintain a minor vestige of pleasantness for anybody who would vote for Moore, or who would excuse those who vote for Moore. Or for anybody being faintly pleasant to anybody excusing those who would vote for Moore.

      I’m tapped and thoroughly in an ethical outrage.

      • RoFaWh

        Moore is pretty close to the bottom of the barrel. (I know the GOP is busy removing bottoms from barrels nation-wide so take this as a reference to the bottom of the barrel as it once was.)

        • greenmanTN

          That’s not a barrel, it’s a well!

  • Rex

    Roy Moore’s Lawyer – that’s all you really need to know.

    • Todd20036

      Yup. No one reputable would represent him, or Trump for that matter

      • coram nobis

        A public defender might have to, if ol’ Roy is up on criminal charges.

  • Lazycrockett
    • Treant

      I’m tired of all the winning.

    • TrueWords
      • Lumpy Gaga

        Even his face lift looks Russian.

        • RoFaWh

          That one sure does.

    • TrueWords
      • prixator

        “All I got was this lousy hat”… which I had to pay $25 for.

    • TrueWords

      It’s also a violation of the Printz ruling and constitutes illegal deputization of municipal resources by the Federal government.

      Sometimes I wonder about conservative lawyers, do they know that they’re presenting positions that are indefensible in a court of law, or are they just really bad lawyers who actually believe the nonsense they spew?

      This is just one in a long list of judgement affirming the same. They cannot extort states to enforce roles that are the responsibility of the Federal government.

    • FAEN

      Stick THAT in your bigoted ass Doll Hands!

  • gaycuckhubby
  • AlternativeQuacks

    “You might be a redneck if you look forward to your next family reunion as ‘an opportunity to meet women’.” — Jeff Foxworthy

    Something just reminded me of that joke, for some reason.

    • jmax

      When I was a teen, we went to a reunion of my father’s side of the family in Dalhart, Texas where my great-granny lived. Some of them looked like they had never worn shoes in their life and kept to themselves, but one of our distant cousins, in his late teens or early 20’s if I recall correctly, kept following my then-12-year-old sister around, telling her how beautiful she was and how he wanted to marry her. I had never met most of this part of Dad’s family before and haven’t kept up with them since. Creepy.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    I met Ali years ago in Toronto when he worked at CityTV (CablePulse24) and to hear this fuckwad “lawyer” try to smear him is incredibly distasteful and distressing to say the least. As I said in another post, I could tell he was seething but his professionalism never wavered…watching Stephanie go to town on this asshole, now that was a joy to behold.

    • Ninja0980

      Other folks could learn from them.

      • Jean-Marc in Canada

        CNN MSNBC ABC, CBS, NBC

        • Ninja0980

          Pretty much everyone

    • leon king

      I am so glad you have heroes.
      Now brush your teeth and go to bed.
      Hilarious

      • Jean-Marc in Canada

        Oh look, another racist troll, haven’t had one of those here on JMG in a while, how exciting…aaaaand blocked.

  • Mike in Texas

    Wow … as bigoted and ignorant as the “Bernie Bernstein” robocall.

    • Lizard

      Would you expect anything less of a lawyer defending Roy Moore?

      • clay

        Less? Yes, I can imagine him missing the deadlines for some court filings.

    • The_Wretched

      The lawyer cites that robocall as though it were real in the clip above.

  • TampaDink

    So says the man with the neo-Nazi haircut.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada
    • Treant

      You couldn’t show half that shit, even on cable.

      • David L. Caster

        Anybody know the name of that typeface?

        • Brian Burleson

          I Googled it a while back. It’s available via download.

          • David L. Caster

            Sorry to be so dense, and this is unusual for me, but I don’t know what to Google for.

  • liondon#iamnotatraitor

    maybe this where the pizza parlor is so famously tied to the Clintons…?

  • Media Training 101: “Try not to be a racist dickhead on a national broadcast.”

    I’m gonna swing by Trenton Garmon’s law school, pick up a degree and start practicing this evening. Just like he probably did.

    • JAKvirginia

      It’s probably dowloadable as a PDF. Save yourself the trip.

  • Jay George

    Completely and totally OTAF: If you feel the need to read something heartwarming that will somewhat restore your spirit, Neil Gaiman shared this story about David Bowie on his blog. It’s truly beautiful. It’s how human beings treat children.
    http://neil-gaiman.tumblr.com/post/166082106996/my-friend-told-me-a-story-he-hadnt-told-anyone

    • Lumpy Gaga

      ENOUGH ALREADY with the onions and the chopping!!!

      • Jay George

        I know! Onions! Onions everywhere!

    • Bad Tom

      Very, very excellent story. Thank you for posting.

  • Statistics Palin

    The antics of third rate redneck lawyers can be quite amusing.
    https://youtu.be/0TH1uIrRIOE

  • /

    Age of consent in Canada for everything but anal sex was 14 until fairly recently.
    Anal sex was 18, discriminatorily.
    I think it’s all been stabilized at 16 now.
    (That said, just because you CAN do something, doesn’t mean you SHOULD. Just being factual.)

    • Ninja0980

      O/T but had to ask, which one is you and which one is the hubby?

      • Treant

        (Who cares, they’re both gorgeous…and way older than 16, so…legal, dude. Legal).

        • Ninja0980

          I agree with both points, just want to know who is who since I’m a nosy bastard like that.

    • Treant

      So my date could give it up at one end but not the other, legally, back when I was 15 and dating. And straight couples? Two out of three ain’t…illegal, in this case…

      • Reality.Bites

        Yes, oral was fine.

        Straight couples the same, although they were allowed to do anal under 18 if they were married

        And depending on your age and where you lived, anal could have been legal at 14 too, as the law was struck down in Ontario, Quebec and I think a couple of other provinces as well.

      • /

        Indeed. Stupid, isn’t it? I’m glad that the discrepancy was rectumified.

        I confess to breaking the law once when I was 25… and he was a 17 year old blond twink hockey player virgin with a gorgeous 8″ dick and a six pack.

        Should be illegal to say no to that.

        • Treant

          I’m going to grandfather that under “not half as icky as Roy Moore with a 14 year old girl.”

          I also don’t have an ethical problem with it; in this state, it would have been completely legal. Our age of consent is 16.

    • Hue-Man

      There are also “close in age” exceptions for 14 and 15 year olds (less than 5 years older) and 12 and 13 year olds (less than 2 years older). I wonder how many of these kids were ever taught the rules.
      http://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/other-autre/clp/faq.html

  • Phil Touchette

    The backward racism is almost comical from these brain-dead jesters…almost.

    • Jerry Kott

      and this is a Lawyer!

      • RoFaWh

        Not much of one, however.

  • Lumpy Gaga

    TV appearance prep:

    * Check traffic
    * Charge Phone
    * Review talking points
    * Stalk the race heritage of your hosts

  • Treant

    Oh, come on, Joe. Can’t we move on to a more pleasant topic like nuclear war, toxic waste, or eating puppies?

    • Lumpy Gaga

      Is that a “Fuck, Marry, Kill” challenge?

      • Treant

        Works for me. Roy Moore, Jeff Sessions, Donald Trump.

        Go.

        • jmax

          Can I just kill myself now?

          • Treant

            You’ll have to wait until I’m done with the lye water, but there’s plenty for all of us.

    • coram nobis

      We can find out what’s happening with Mr. and Mrs. Mugabe.

  • The Professor

    Yes but my girl Stephanie Ruhle slapped him into last week for being such a racist douchebag.

  • Jerry Kott

    I saw that live interview and Ali and Stephanie ( i love their shows) were stunted at the reference. I suspect he was saying that Ali, with mixed heritage , was accustomed to witnessing Child Brides? It seems that the only book ever read in the South is the Bible. They need to travel more.

    • Gustav2

      I wasn’t really paying attention, “WTF did I just hear?” and had to rewind.

    • RoFaWh

      “They need to travel more.”

      Here in Canada, it’s very common for high school graduates to take a year or two off before going to university. I admit the motive is often “to save up enough money to pay tuition” rather than “to broaden one’s horizons”, but the latter happens anyway.

      I believe that this is one of the reasons Canada is more civilized and less stupid in political matters than the USA.

      You have hit at least one nail squarely on its head, Jerry.

  • boobert

    Where is the moron’s big announcement for today?

  • KnownDonorDad

    Moore is thick as thieves with the white nationalists.

  • Bambino

    Roy Moore only requirement for hiring a lawyer if he fits into the Klan’s uniform.

  • Ninja0980

    My one thing with age of consent laws is this.
    If a 16 or 17 year old has sex with his or her 15 or 14 year old boy/girlfriend, they shouldn’t be branded sex offenders for life, which has happened in far too many cases.
    Folks like Moore though, go right ahead.

    • coram nobis

      Some states address that with “Romeo and Juliet” laws.

    • Treant

      There’s a two year grandfather clause here. So you, at 17, can be sleeping with your 15 year old boyfriend just so long as the margin is less than 2 years.

  • Treant

    New thread. Alas, same subject.

  • MrRobotoLA

    Nope, he doesn’t look exactly like Richard Spencer at all.

  • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

    He looks like that insane nazi-loving bully in high school who played offensive line in football and had a record of illegal hits resulting in injuries but didn’t give a shit.

  • boatboy_srq

    Ah, ignorance and bigotry wrapped in one package; how efficient of them.

    • -M-

      He knows what sells to his and Roy’s audience.

    • TrollopeReader

      Two-for-one special this week.

  • Aynwrong

    Bigoted and factually wrong. Yup… He’s a Republican.

  • FAEN

    Ali Velshi is from Appalachia?

  • Frostbite

    Wow

    • FAEN

      Yes that was my first reaction too followed by a loud WTF at Whole Foods 😬.

  • Macbill

    Oh man! This is getting good. At least they’re not passing crappy legislation.

  • Slim Compersion

    Here’s a key to the current verbiage in right-wing circles:

    “Background” = ethnicity

    Watch for it to pop up again.

  • Wow. Racist much?

    Also, Velshi is gay so he doesn’t date girls/women of any age.

  • Megrim Twist

    This fucking Nazi again?!?!

  • tonyg

    Is this the same dude that kept calling Don Lemon “Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezey”?

    • Lumpy Gaga

      yes

      • tonyg

        So they just keep inviting him back in hopes of getting outraged by his idiocy?

        • edrex

          mission accomplished.

        • Cuberly Deux

          Well, he is Moore’s lawyer.

  • Cuberly Deux

    “Garmon represents the Foundation for Moral Law, a Montgomery-based legacy advocacy group headed by Moore’s wife, Kayla Moore.”

    “He appeared on CNN last week to respond to allegations in a Washington Post story about the foundation, and referred to CNN host Don Lemon as “Don Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy.”

    Moore, appearing at his bible banging conference yesterday said something along the lines of the country starting it’s decent after the creation of new laws in the 60s. Um, Roe vs Wade was decided in 73. Gee, it’s as if he’s referring to the civil rights laws that were passed….hmmm….

    • boatboy_srq

      It all started when Southerners were forced to treat Those Other People® as actual humans.

      • Cuberly Deux

        Ya mean the yelluhs, the reds and the…uh, licorice?

    • Jim Gallagher-Barker

      With that haircut, Garmon looks like he should be carrying a tiki torch through downtown Birmingham on his way to the local middle school to do preliminary trolling for Roy’s new girlfriend.

  • Dayglo

    See what happens when you don’t hire a Jewish lawyer? Another brilliant move, Roy.

  • Jim Gallagher-Barker

    From this tool’s corporate website:

    Mr. Garmon: …2 years at West Point. …Masters of Theology from (Pat Robertson’s) Regent University. JD from Birmingham School of Law. …Appointed to the prestigious Alliance Defending Freedom’s Honor Corp in 2013. …He has worked on cases with the American Center for Law and Justice..

    FYI: “Birmingham School of Law has not sought nor presently expects to obtain accreditation from the American Bar Association. Our graduates are eligible to sit for the Alabama State Bar Exam …” (from the BSoL website)

    Cuberly posted that Garmon works for Moore’s wife’s foundation… In other words, Garmon is dependent on Roy Moore’s wife for a job, in addition to being a dog-whistling racist teabangelical pig / rethuglican supporter of ex-Judge Roy Less Brains is Moore.

    Boys and girls, this is why being a special sort of stupid wannabe attorney who can’t even get into the ABA accredited Liberty University is so not good for your future prospects.

    • boatboy_srq

      Master’s in “Theology” from Regent. Says everything.

  • Robin Bailey

    Wow, of course it’s all clear now. Roy Moore is obviously from Kenya!

  • zhera

    I just love it when morons get lawyers who are also morons. Poetic justice.

  • Orange Natural

    What an amazingly racist and incompetent lawyer.

  • GanymedeRenard

    Anyone surprised that racist Moore would hire a racist lawyer? Birds of a feather.

  • Halou

    Shouldn’t a lawyer, like, you know, know what the law is?

  • Halou
    • LeeCMH

      As I heard over and over in Dixie, “they need to know their place.”

  • BobSF_94117

    He should have replied, “Indeed, back in the home country we skin pedophiles alive.”

  • JCF

    Moore Campaign Director speaking: FUCK YOU, pedo-enabling asshole!

    OMG, he’s saying “I’ve never seen Moore act inappropriately w/ any woman.”

    Well….!!!

    • JCF

      Now he’s going to attack the girls. Turning off, NOW.

    • Gianni

      Duh……? Why would you see his actions with the teens? Do you seriously believe he would showcase his behavior to anyone?

  • HoratioCaine

    i went to moore’s lawyer’s website. he is an ambulance chaser. his bio page is pathetic and poorly written. the man has no accomplishements. moore must have something on him to get him to go on the t and v to defend him. any real lawyer would have told him to shut his damn mouth and get out of the race.

    • robindaybird

      Money, ambulance chasers are in it for money.

    • Tor

      Similar to Trump’s doctor?

      • HoratioCaine

        yes.

  • marshlc

    I’m just musing on the “diverse” label…. There was quite an influx of South Asians from East Africa into Canada in the 70s, after Amin confiscated their property in Uganda and expelled them. I assume many came to the US, too. This was a big deal at the time, not some obscure little thing that nobody heard of.

    If he was talking to someone of Irish extraction whose family had lived in Liverpool for a while before emigrating to the States, would he be saying “Oh, such a diverse background!”?

  • Gianni

    I can see why this guy is Moore’s lawyer. His ethics leave a lot to be desired.

  • ‘Til Tuesday

    Roy’s attorney is a real slime ball. He makes Jimmy McGill on “Better Call Saul” look like an angel.

  • Mike Knife

    Again lawyer proves why people think they are scum bags, like his client. .

  • leastyebejudged

    Keepin’ it classy.

  • EdA

    Presumably, as a lawyer from Alabama, Atty. Trenton Garmon also understands perfectly well why pragmatics as well as etiquette would be behind the request of a guy in his 30’s to ask the mother of a teen-age girl for permission to date her.

  • BEARY FLINTSTONE

    UNBELIEVABLE!

  • Gene Perry

    It’s so casually racist … making a racist comment without even realizing you’re making a racist comment.

  • Ore Carmi

    Puts a whole new spin on Senate “race” scandal.