Alabama State Official Defends Roy Moore: The Virgin Mary Was Underage And She Gave Birth To Jesus

The Washington Examiner reports:

“There is nothing to see here,” Alabama State Auditor Jim Ziegler told the Washington Examiner. “The allegations are that a man in his early 30s dated teenage girls. Even the Washington Post report says that he never had sexual intercourse with any of the girls and never attempted sexual intercourse.”

“Take the Bible. Zachariah and Elizabeth for instance. Zachariah was extremely old to marry Elizabeth and they became the parents of John the Baptist,” Ziegler said choosing his words carefully before invoking Christ.

“Also take Joseph and Mary. Mary was a teenager and Joseph was an adult carpenter. They became parents of Jesus.” “There’s just nothing immoral or illegal here,” Ziegler concluded. “Maybe just a little bit unusual.”

  • AW

    Wow… I would be very afraid for his daughters (I don’t know if he has any) and very scared of his sons.

  • Mr. M

    Alabama gunna Alabama.

    • Miji

      Yeah, the only thing preventing this from getting much stranger is that sheep and donkeys can’t talk and don’t live that long.

      • mad-dog

        There’s a joke about a guy who can talk to animals – I’ll spare you the whole thing because it’s long, but the punchline is “sheep lie.”

  • safari

    Molestation: Just a bit unusual
    Vote GOP

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    god you people……. just stop.

  • TheManicMechanic

    Jesus: The Ultimate Excuse.

  • Gomez

    *FACEPALM*

  • yea ok….religion doesn’t fuck your head up.

    sure Jan….

  • Wynter Marie Starr

    So, would this complete and utter moron leave his granddaughters with Moore?

    • Chucktech

      ‘s lowng as jeezis is thar its awl goood

    • Adam King

      Depends on the price.

      • Wynter Marie Starr

        That’s disgusting, and also true.

      • clay

        The price appears to be one more Senate seat in GOP hands.

  • Natty Enquirer

    If it’s not Tab A in Slot B, then it doesn’t count. Checkmate!

    • Rebecca Gardner

      What about 2 Slot Bs and a double-headed Tab A?
      That works pretty good too.

      • Joe in PA

        Well, that was a little specific.

        🙂

        • Rebecca Gardner

          LOL. It’s that kinda day.

      • Adam King

        (Some assembly required.)

  • Rebecca Gardner

    Can mythological beings get pregnant and give birth?

    • Ragnar Lothbrok

      Well, if one can lay in the dirt for 3 days withOUT oxygen, then I suppose anything is possible.

      #BelieveToDecieve

      • Rebecca Gardner

        Zombie Jesus!

        INRI = I’m Nailed Right In

        • Joe in PA

          I always wondered what that meant. Thanks. 😉

      • AJ Drew

        Well, ya never know. That’s why I’m investing in one of these beauties:

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/47a1e48794450d3eaf8c7e3df9586859b9026ffa58d9f7115ec0dcfefe80c988.jpg

        • Ragnar Lothbrok

          I’m starting to like the whole cremation idea.

          #NoRisk

        • The_Wretched

          My fav from the time period were coffins with poison gas capsules that pierced and flooded the coffin with poison as the lid was nailed on. That ensured the decedent was going to die if they weren’t really dead.

          • Ragnar Lothbrok

            I used to spend way too much time thinking about that.

            #Nightmares

          • The_Wretched

            The death industry has a number of laws to ensure you’re dead – dead. Embalming being a big one.

        • Stev84

          There was a whole mania about being buried alive. Probably thanks to some sensational news stories

          • Ernest Endevor

            Mary Baker Eddy was buried with a phone in her coffin. Just in case.

    • Lumpy Gaga
      • Ragnar Lothbrok

        Right by the drain.

        • The_Wretched

          Easy clean up is important.

      • Treant

        I believe the horn is a secondary sexual characteristic. Otherwise, unicorn births would end in tragedy quite frequently.

        But perhaps they simply don’t harden until they’re exposed to air.

    • GanymedeRenard

      Why, yes! That’s why it’s called mythology.

  • Tulle Christensen

    Some old ghost impregnated Mary and another old man married her 2000 years ago, so having a 14 year old touch your penis through your underwear is OK?

    OK got it

    • Uncle Mark

      Have you not read the modern Gospel of St Duggar? If Moore doesn’t win election, he’s well-qualified to work with the rest of the Duggar family at the FRC.

    • Todd20036

      Mean while, when wiener merely tweets an underage girl, he gets jailed

      • Bad Tom

        He’s a DEMOCRAT.

  • Heaventree

    There’s no depth to which these Christer wackaloons will not sink, is there?

  • Lazycrockett

    “That 14 year old was dressed like a slut with her titties hanging out and her thong up her ass crack, she was begging for it.” Alabama Rep. Red N. Eck.

    • Chucktech

      Being Alabama, she probably was…

      • Treant

        “Southern girls mature faster. I think it’s the heat,” Blanche quipped.

        “I think it’s the gin,” Dorothy countered.

        • greenmanTN

          Git off me, Roy, yer crushin’ my smokes!

      • clay

        … after Moore undressed her on their second “date”.

      • Oh, Parker

        With a tramp stamp that reads, “Juicy.”

    • Buford

      “She knew what she signed up for”…?

  • Yalma Cuder-Zicci

    What you want to bet this guy diddles kids?

  • Cuberly Deux

    They never seem to see how they sometimes affirm the worst of the worst of southern stereotypes do they. But leave it to a GOPer, they’re totes cool with it.

    (face palm)

    • Chucktech

      No. And they’re damn proud of it, too.

      • Cuberly Deux

        Iz pArt uv CuLtShuruL TerDiSuN!

  • RemusL

    Mr. Ziegler, please keep talking about Roy Moore and underage girls.

  • Ninja0980

    This is why I wasn’t shocked by Moore being accused of what he is being accused of.
    Religious extremists like this don’t view the physical/sexual/emotional abuse of women of any age to be a bad thing.
    No surprise then that the abuse of underage girls will be met with quotes like this.

    • safari

      It’s also why my cousin’s wanna be pastor husband named their first child, a girl, after a biblical name that means Jealousy.

      • Treant

        Did they name their first son “Bestiality”?

        • safari

          No. They wanted to name him after name meaning “Just”… That sounded like the name of an archvillain in a Power Ranger’s movie.

    • William

      That Duck Die-nasty guy said to marry a woman by the time she’s 15 so she doesn’t get any fancy ideas.

    • Uncle Mark

      Unless it’s their pristine, chaste daughter

      • Adam King

        Because daddy has dibs.

        • liondon#iamnotatraitor

          Daddy …teacher sez we need to love each other everyday… I told her my daddy loves me every night… with the lights out. She was gonna call you tonight.

    • skyweaver

      Agreed. Women are like cattle or goats in this way

    • 2patricius2

      If self-reported assaults of numerous adult women, and leering remarks about a ten year old girl and about his own daughter, didn’t keep these creatures from supporting and voting for Drumpf, it is not likely that anything is going to prevent them from supporting and voting for Moore.

      • Queequeg

        Yep, you are correct, good Christians that they are.

      • Rocco

        I am convinced he will not resign and he will win the election. I think Roland Martin (ugh, I know) said this afternoon that the Senate does not have to seat him if he does win. Lol…not that we need any more proof, but that would show the GOP Senate leadership to be the hypocrites and cowards they really are.

        • Nowhereman

          McConnell and Company will all make the proper fretting noises, and then they will roll out the red carpet for him. They’ll probably even let him wear his little purse gun on the floor of the Senate.

      • Nowhereman

        Funny how they put themselves up as being such paragons as virtue. Jesus would be so proud…

    • Balderdashing

      So … by citing the precedent of Joseph and Mary, Ziegler is implying that Mary wasn’t a virgin?

    • MarkOH
      • Nowhereman

        True that. I still say that Joseph and Mary were fooling around before they got married and “God did it!” was all they could come up with.

  • IAMBOWLINGQUEEN

    Christianity : it’s a slippery slope.

  • another_steve

    I’m married to a devout Christian man. He’s very good and very hot.

    They’re weird, the goyim.

    Weird.

  • Bluto
  • disqus_D9pH1OIG67

    And Alabama wonders why it’s the outhouse of the USA. Geez, certainly it’s got to have smarter people than this.

  • Stev84

    And this is why he will be elected. These people are just incredibly stupid and insane

    • Oh, Parker

      Bingo.

  • gaycuckhubby
    • Treant

      People ’round here had to go to Joe’s games after that because “they wanted to show support.”

      A few were not happy when I mentioned, “Against a guy who harbored a child molester. Let him rot.”

      Less than a month later, Joe was rotting.

      • licuado de platano

        I wanna know WTF was up with people who worked at Sandusky’s charity. They had to have known.

  • Friday’s_cat

    Sadly the toothless groggans will buy this excuse. Inbreeding will do that.

  • Guess

    Hubbie: WHY DID YOU FORGET TO TAKE THE TRASH OUT AGAIN???
    Me: “Well, take Joseph and Mary…”

    • Chucktech

      Alabama hubby: “Oh. Well, there IS that…”

  • Tomcat

    Sorry but I will have to see the REAL birth certificate of Jesus of NAZARETH.

    • Tulle Christensen

      yes and make sure it is the long form one

    • Chucktech

      AHA!!! Kenya! I knew it…

    • Adam King

      That little bastard.

  • Slippy_World
    • Tread

      Good lord. I’m glad Henry Cavill was never a teen heartthrob when I was growing up. I would have been obsessed.

      • Joe in PA

        I’d like to rub something in that chin dimple. Mmm mm mmm.

      • Stephen Elliot Phillips

        Chin clefts get me everytime

        • Uncle Mark

          My ex was always torn between my beard or shaving it, so he could see the cleft chin. Eventually, we decided to keep trimming the beard close, so he could still kind of see the cleft.

  • Bambino

    So Roy Moore is Joseph and the 14 year old he sexually harassed is Mary and the ninth time arrested Caleb is Jesus and this crackpot is one of the three wise men?

    • Uncle Mark

      Someone hasn’t declared nor paid taxes on the gold, frankincense, and myrrh

      • Bad Tom

        Yeah, “frankincense.” How much is an ounce of frankincense?

  • June Gordon

    As was pointed out on Twitter by America’s Best Christian, that makes Roy GOD in the analogy, as it was GOD, not Joseph, who went for the underage pussy. (Maybe it was phrased differently.)

  • Tomcat

    So god is a pervert, OK.

  • William

    Does this count as a legal precedent?
    Fourteen is now okey-dokey in Alabama.

    • Tomcat

      Always has been for family.

    • Jimmy R

      In fact, if you’re still not hitched to a man by the time you’re 14, then you’re considered an old maid.

  • Natty Enquirer

    My, how her hand doth magnify the lord …

  • Chucktech

    gawd mad her, gawd kin fuck her

    • Megrim Twist

      Praise!

    • Natty Enquirer

      I think you’ve just earned your DD.

      • Paula

        Pastor Chuck is in the building!

    • Tulle Christensen

      amen

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    Wait. OMG!
    Is he saying there might be another little jesus running around ??

  • Guess

    “…and they became the parents of John the Baptist,” Ziegler said, choosing his words carefully, before shoving all eight wedges of toe jam down his throat.

  • JoeMyGod
    • MikeBx2

      That sums up the Alabama GOP mindset right there.

      • Tread

        That sums up the entire GOP mindset. As long as their team wins, they don’t give a shit who or what they elect.

        • coram nobis

          There was a precedent in biblical times. Caligula appointed his horse as Senator. Maybe that’s what Alabama needs, a Senator who really can run.

          • Ragnar Lothbrok

            I should track your comments

          • liondon#iamnotatraitor

            They need to start at the city level as a mare.

          • coram nobis

            Or at least run in the Preakness.

          • GayOldLady

            And then it wouldn’t matter how young the philly was.

          • The_Wretched

            Sure, why not?

      • Cuberly Deux

        Yep.

    • Guess

      what if it was against a boy?

      **longer, longer, pause**

      • Miji

        Will he still give tax cuts to rich people? If so, I’m sure god has forgiven him.

      • Chucktech

        oh, way-el, than hes gowin tuh HAY-el

    • Ninja0980

      You beat me to this by five seconds.

      • Ragnar Lothbrok

        4, actually

    • Cuberly Deux
      • Buford

        Yep. Like the Trump voters who say they voted for him because of his jobs plan…they didn’t vote for his Muslim ban, so don’t call them bigots.

        Don’t work that way.

    • JCF

      “Alabama Bibb County Republican chairman Jerry Pow tells me he’d vote for Roy Moore even if Moore did commit a sex crime against a girl”

      GOP women: THIS is your party, get it?

      • Frostbite

        Those GOP women will vote how their man tells them to damn it!

  • Ninja0980

    https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/928734837887954950
    Ziegler, no one can top that quote.
    Pow, hold my beer.

    • Tulle Christensen

      Joe beat you to it

  • IAMBOWLINGQUEEN

    Mary was also forcibly inseminated by the sky daddy, whilst dating another man. Guess that makes rape ok too.

    • Tomcat

      The climax heard around the world.

    • Chucktech

      And the Holy Spirit told Mary to just close her eyes and think of Bethlehem.

  • Lumpy Gaga

    “Take the Bible.

    Please.

    • Joe in PA

      Henny, is that you?

      And what kind of a name is “Henny”? Sheesh.

  • TrueWords
  • Bluto
    • Chucktech

      now git own up to the sennit

  • Ninja0980

    https://twitter.com/EdAsante77/status/928731930534862848
    You aren’t supposed to make rulings based on the Bible asshole.

  • citing the birth of John the Mushroom head as the result of one very very old guy and one quite nubile teenager won’t get you far.

    • Lars Littlefield

      Did he have a big mushroom head? Must have been hard for him to pull back his foreskin.

      • that, or he ate everything and anything he could find, out there living in the wilderness

  • Uncle Mark

    “The Virgin Mary was underage, and she gave birth to Jesus.” Not in the state of Alabama, she didn’t. They also had stoning back then, too. I don’t see the anything in the state law that indicates that any bible or sacred tome supersedes all state, federal, or municipal laws.

    On the otherhand, if you feel this way, then I guess you want to remove all laws against pedophiles…because BIBLE. (I hope you don’t have kids or grandkids when you cling to that kind of amoral thinking)

  • Macbill

    “… and she had sex with a bird…”

    • The_Wretched

      That’s a bit unusual.

      • Lars Littlefield

        Leda had her swan fetish.

  • David L. Caster

    Great, just dig yourselves a deeper hole and crawl into it.

  • Guest

    Yes I remember it well in the Bible, that part where the adult Jesus made that young girl touch his erection through his underwear. I think there is a Michelangelo mural that depicts that.

  • There’s a whole thread of them.
    https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/928730814350811147

    These are the same hypocritical assholes who wanted to impeach Clinton over a consensual affair with a grown adult.

    • This one here epitomizes the sheer overwhelming moral bankruptcy of the Republican party:
      https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/928734837887954950

      • Clive Johnson

        Ugh. That about says it all.

        Heck, many voted for Trump with knowledge of his brag about sexual assault.

        • And a Congress controlled by Republicans who gave him a complete pass, despite knowing this.

      • Michael R

        Party over …. everything

        • It would take morals to walk away, the party goes on.

      • Buford

        That last sentence is almost verbatim what Cornyn said about Trump and Moore previously. Basically, don’t matter what they did… we’re in the same party, so I support them.

        • Tim Patterson

          Don’t forget….they’re kkkhristian, so their already “forgiven”. Ugh.

        • Todd20036

          Even maverick McCain voted for trump

          Fuck morals.

          Fuck laws

          Fuck children

      • Orly

        “I’m not saying I support what he did.”

        Yes you are.

      • scottrose

        He conveniently doesn’t mention that Moore is alleged to have started grooming the 14-year-old victim outside a courthouse where the 14-year-old’s mother was attending a custody hearing in a divorce case.

        And that Moore was in the legal profession at the time.

    • Natty Enquirer

      Outright lie.

      “On a second visit, she says, he took off her shirt and pants and removed his clothes. He touched her over her bra and underpants, she says, and guided her hand to touch him over his underwear.”

      • Bad Tom

        Sexual assault right there.

    • https://twitter.com/kurteichenwald/status/928740510935797762

      Yeah, technically it appears Moore is either an Ephebophiliac (15-19) or a borderline Hebephiliac (12-14).

      It’s still creepy as all fuck and when 15 or younger, illegal even in Alabama.

      • Jean-Marc in Canada

        Oy, this fucker Pollack gives gingers and Jews a bad name.

        • Danieruw

          I thought he’d had trouble removing his Halloween clown make-up.

        • licuado de platano

          not to mention eyebrows and caterpillars

          • Eddie Besketti

            and G.I. Joe doll hair.

      • Buford

        Just say it… it’s not normal for a man in his 30’s to have a habit of courting girls in their teens. Period.

    • Chucktech

      What seems to be missing here are any screeching, hair-on-fire denials that Roy Moore is a pedo pig.

      • Tim Patterson

        They won’t deny it, they’ll just say he’s a kkkhristian and so gawd has already forgiven him. Thats how they justify their hypocrisy!

        • jonfromcalifornia

          Actually, if you notice, they studiously avoid using the word “pedophile.” So let’s keep calling him, “Pedo Roy” from now on.

      • LaChatSayWha

        Hell, they don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. Get em young when they’re too inexperienced to call you on your bullshit. These guys view women and girls as their rightful property. They demonstrate it every time they speak & every time they pass legislation denying the constitutional rights of women and girls.

        An incurable pox on every last one of these wretched assholes.

  • Joe in PA

    Let’s reverse the parties here…just for fun. See how that works fundies?

    • Tomcat

      Oh, well that’s much different!

  • The_Wretched

    While it is Al-a-Bama, Ziegler might want to consult with a prosecutor and an ethics attorney before concluding no crimes were committed.

  • dcurlee

    his parents must have been brother and sister because this man is fucked in the head. Doesn’t matter if they had sex or not he removed her clothes and forced his hands on her and made her touch him. Then again she voted for Trump so not sure how much sympathy I have

  • shellback

    “Take the Bible…”
    No, you take the bible, and shove it up your ass – sideways – while it’s on fire.

  • safari

    Breitbart tells me that such allegations need evidence.

    And that in light of pizzagate I shouldn’t be on my high horse.

  • BearEyes

    Fairy tales don’t count.

  • coram nobis

    So, to carry this hypothetical further, would this state audible be okay with it if it was HIS 14-year-old daughter getting propositioned?

    • safari

      Was her suitor powerful and/or rich?

      • clay

        How many goats was she worth?

    • David Walker

      He’d have both Sodom AND Gomorrah on his side. After all, didn’t Lot offer his daughters to those nasty people? It wasn’t HIS fault they didn’t take them. And, out of gratitude, the daughters liquored up ol’ Lot and fucked him two nights in a row. If that’s not Alabama biblical, I don’t know what is.

  • Tomcat

    The more I hear about this god of yours the more I think he is perverted and immoral.

  • Tatonka

    1) There’s nothing illegal unless you count the legal age of consent.

    2) I have a 15-year old daughter, and I bet to differ on the morality of what he did.

    2) He is literally comparing Roy Moore fingering a 14-year old through her underwear to the allegedly immaculate conception of Christ. The insanity of these people is beyond measure.

    • Natty Enquirer

      In Catholic theology, the “immaculate conception” refers to the conception of Mary without original sin, not to the virgin birth.

      • Joe in PA

        Really? I must not have been paying attention in catechism class. Hmmm.

        • Joe in PA

          not that I care one way or the other.

      • Lars Littlefield

        Does it really matter?

        • LaChatSayWha

          It matters because this evangelical asshole uses his supposedly pristine and inviolable faith in the Buybull to limit all of our civil rights.

      • jerry

        Didn’t the RCC decide that Mary’s mother Anne was also a virgin? And that Mary was perpetually a virgin despite having (at least) 6 other children? Honestly, xtians have no room to make fun of the beliefs of any other religion.

    • Silver Badger

      If it has been my daughter, we would have no problem with Moore today. But then, I don’t live in Al Abama.

      • Paula

        Same here! They wouldn’t send me to jail, it would be a mental institution. For the things I would do to him. 👹👹👹☠️☠️👹👿😈👺👹💀☠️

        • kelven

          Oh, Paula. I know you’re more clever than that. They would never find the body. 😉

          • Paula

            The human body is just chorizo without the seasonings! 😉

        • Todd20036

          You’d force him to watch every episode of Trumpanzees s reality shows?

  • Bambino
  • Patrick

    Roy Moore is NO god Jackass

  • Treant

    Fuck off, you useless asshole. Let me know who your opponent is in the next election. So I can send him money.

    That is all.

  • Jmdintpa

    As I stated in the other post on Roy Moore, He will win by double digits. This shows you the mindset of what we are dealing with here. Remember these are the same people hoarding weapons and ammo, waiting for a change to take back the country, they think its a divine command from sky daddy, Trump is using their fear to get them stirred up. This isnt going to end well for them or us. We already seen what one crazy with one automatic weapon can do so these people are to watched and dont turn your back on them.

    • coram nobis

      Digits was how he got into this trouble.

      • safari

        *too soon?*

    • Natty Enquirer

      The electorate will admire Moore’s virility, right? “He was just a redblooded frisky 32-year-old.”

  • clay

    Dick Dynasty– “If she’s old enough to bleed . . . “

    • GayOldLady

      I was waiting for you to dispute this dipsticks recollection of the bible stories he told to cover Moore’s ass, but when you didn’t I did. You better check me for accuracy.

      • clay

        In which thread? The previous one about the write-in option?

        I don’t know that Elizabeth’s age is identified, but the general imagery has been that Elizabeth was past her child-bearing years when John was conceived, otherwise it wouldn’t have been a miracle, so much as an incorrect diagnosis. It wasn’t Zechariah who was barren due to his age, it was Elizabeth, old enough to have been proven barren.

        • GayOldLady

          I read quite a bit about the Gnostic Gospels when I was still in the sorting out truth from fiction stage and I believe it was 80 plus 8.

          • coram nobis

            There’s also a corollary to the Rule Against Perpetuities called the “fertile octogenarian”. It comes up in Real Property law; trying to explain the RAP is a good way to go slowly mad.

          • GayOldLady

            I remember several years ago a woman in her mid 60’s gave birth to her daughters child via IVF. Her daughter and son-in-law were the donors. I think she was the oldest woman to give birth on record. I thought that was crazy, but an octogenarian conceiving and giving birth, impossible.

          • coram nobis

            It’s possible under the Rule Against Perpetuities, at least as a legal hypothetical.

            “[t]he common-law rule prohibiting a grant of an estate unless the interest must vest, if at all, no later than 21 years (plus a period of gestation to cover a posthumous birth) after the death of some person alive when the interest was created.” — Black’s Law Dictionary

          • GayOldLady

            I think you just went way over my head.

          • coram nobis

            I never really understood this one either. Repeating it back on an exam is about the same as reciting Mary Had A Little Lamb.

  • Bambino
  • HZ81

    So, God fucked a underage girl?

  • GayOldLady

    Well goddamned! Just when I think I’m so old I can’t hear anything new, some dipstick like this throws me for a loop.

    In case dipstick has forgotten the story, Mary was a “virgin”, who conceived of the “holy spirit”. That “virgin” part means so much to christo’s because they didn’t want jeez to be born of a harlot, which Mary would have been because she wasn’t married to Joseph when she conceived.

    And Elizabeth, according to Gnostic writings, was too old to conceive (88) when she became pregnant with John the Baptist, if the story is to be believed, which I don’t.

    • Lars Littlefield

      In the case of Mary, I’m pretty sure most men actually think she just spent too much time in the wood shed. Wink, wink. No what I mean?

      • David Walker

        I believe it was referred to as the original Holy Fuck.

    • David Walker

      Hamlet covered it pretty well: “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” Words by which just about anything can be justified.

  • No More GOP.

    And people wonder why I distrust the loudly religious.

  • Guess

    “Look!
    over THERE!
    a transgender woman at Stuckey’s Truck Stop is peeing without OUR permission!
    SOMEBODY CALL JUDGE MOORE!
    oh, wait, he’s in the back behind the bushes, I’ll just tap him on the shoulder.”

    • Do everyone a favor and rescue the girl he’s molesting will ya?

  • MBear

    This is why civilised people laugh at you

  • Whicker Park

    It really frosts me when these people apply “biblical principles” to modern society and expect people to accept them! You need to take into account the mores of the day and the culture. Most “pastors” have no idea what the Old Testament is about and WHY. But then again, some Christians will accept anything.

  • Michael R
    • Jean-Marc in Canada

      Your prescience on the matter is to be lauded.

    • kelven

      She definitely has that “help me!” look on her face.

  • Lars Littlefield

    The stupidity is so fucking blind. Again, anyone who professes to believe in the bible and jesus myths is totally mental.Then to be so audacious as to warp it in such a way that you use it to hide behind its skirts . . . well, isn’t that one of the ten definitions of a flaming asshole.

  • coram nobis

    Actually, if y’all believe Mary was a virgin when she conceived, she wasn’t when she gave birth. An eight-pound, two ounce Savior is going to rupture any hymen on His way down the birth canal. So, for the record, Mary’s virginity was taken by her Son.

    Isn’t bible study fun, kids?

    • Chucktech

      The nuns said NOTHING about this.

    • Silver Badger

      Virginal conception is not impossible. Ask any OBGYN.

      • coram nobis

        Indeed, although my point was that she would have lost her virginity upon her son’s birth.

        • Silver Badger

          I’m pretty sure Mary didn’t have to give actual birth. She blinked and the holy ghost put a baby in her arms. This was only fair as that’s how the baby got in there to start with.

          • coram nobis

            Storks didn’t visit Judaea, it seems.

  • Friday’s_cat

    Remember these are the loons telling us President Obama was going to institute Sharia Law any day now right after he took all the guns.

  • joe ho

    Remember these deplorables are impervious to reason. They operate from deeply held anger and resentment that people look down on their stupidity.

    We just have to find ways to work around them. The good news is that they’re dying off at a much faster pace than they’re being replaced .

    • Salton

      I’m not as optimistic as you are.

      • joe ho

        Millennials hate Trump and his supporters 3 to 1.

        Millennials are unreligious at a rate unprecedented in American history.

        • Salton

          That’s good news and I hope your data is right.

  • Gregory Peterson

    You won’t find the Gospel of James in the Bible, but it was apparently popular with early Christians. Scroll down to VIII

    http://www.earlychristianwritings.com/text/infancyjames-mrjames.html

  • 2000-odd years ago, among the Hebrew cultures, women were literally PROPERTY.

    Not sentient beings, but property. Their own Ten Commandments lumps us in with slaves, bound servants, and farm animals as things men should not steal or covet.

    Any modern-day justification for an adult man to sexually molest or rape an underaged teenage girl judged under the law as being legally unable to give informed consent is simply savage and barbaric.

    FWIW, even the Egyptians, Greeks, and Romans treated their women better and let them own property.

    • Uncle Mark

      I’m suspect he named all his daughters “Chattel.” It sounds classier, if you pronounce it with a French accent

    • SFBruce

      I’m sure I’m not telling you anything you don’t know, but until the mid-1970’s no state in the US recognized marital rape. And it wasn’t until 1993 that Oklahoma and North Carolina finally recognized marital rape. In the case of Oklahoma, it’s still not enough for a wife to simply say, “No.” The act must be accompanied with force or violence, a requirement absent when the two parties are unmarried.

    • LaChatSayWha

      And they’re using the same justification to steal bodily autonomy from women and girls. And succeeding.

  • Uncle Mark

    Just wait a tick for the press to uncover some salacious horribleness from this state auditor’s past. I wonder if he just lost his job next election cycle

  • Mike

    Yahweh raped Mary while she slept.

    • GayOldLady

      But he did have the good manners to allow an “angel of the lord declare unto Mary”.

  • fuzzybits

    So,what’s this old fart hiding?

  • Tom Mears

    I’m pretty sure it’s blasphemy to imply God molested underage teens also 😉

  • liondon#iamnotatraitor

    Dear Jesus please kill all the libtards with your infinite love and compassion.

  • Cuberly Deux

    Yeah I know it’s weird to say but this sort of reaction always intrigues me. Having the ability to reassess ones prior opinions when presented with new information and make relevant adjustments.

    I mean, he had the option to not commit to anything. He could have said the situation is evolving and he’d rather not comment.

    I just find the lack of that attribute extraordinary.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada
    • joe ho

      All that matters to the GOP is maintaining tribal power and keeping the Dems out. That’s it.

      • Jean-Marc in Canada

        Yup. They will excuse anything for the sake of the party…the nation and it’s people be damned.

        • Chucktech

          ‘cept homo stuff.

  • TexasBoy

    Wow, just wow…they really can use their book of fables to justify or condemn anything they like…it really is a versatile little tome.

  • JT

    Gutter religion exposed: my dog fucks children, so it’s OK!

  • BobSF_94117

    You know who’s probably feeling pretty good right now? Roy Moore’s scofflaw son.

  • colo303

    Well he is from the South. Incest and the young…that’s how they like to marry!

    • Friday

      Ask Duck Dynasty and the Duggars.

  • IAMBOWLINGQUEEN

    Breitbart defends Moore, says his sexual abuse of teen was OK because he was ‘romantic’ :

    https://thinkprogress.org/breitbart-defends-roy-moore-ed5af22d16d7/

  • Scoot

    Holy shit, these people are deranged.

  • Boreal
  • TexasBoy

    In reality, Mary by Hebrew law should have been stoned to death on her father’s doorstep for not being a virgin on her wedding night. Likely she thought up the whole immaculate conception thing to literally save her life.

    • The earliest accounts of this Yeshua bin Yusef fellow (by the traditional spelling and phonetics) was there was nothing especially unusual about the circumstances of his birth.

      The whole “Cult of the Virgin” stuff was added centuries later.

    • Silver Badger

      Being pregnant by a god was not uncommon back then. Egyptian, Greek and Roman Mythology is full of girls who were impregnated by a god. Alexander the great comes to mind.

    • clay

      The Gospel according to Matthew has the miracle as that Joseph didn’t turn her in.

  • Y’know, these Biblical literalist fundamentalist types really need to make up their minds whether Joseph ever slept with his wife.

    • RoFaWh

      Who fucking cares?

      The issue isn’t what Joseph and Mary did or did not do two millennia ago; it’s what a living judicial pedophile did in recent time.

  • coram nobis

    From the Salon comments section, a question about family law:

    If a married couple from Alabama moved to California and got divorced, would they still be considered brother and sister?

    • jmax

      That’s terrible. You shouldn’t make fun of people from Alabama. :^|
      How do girls in Alabama know when Mom’s on her period?
      Because brother’s dick tastes funny.
      Okay, I’ll stop now.

      • Silver Badger

        No, don’t, stop, please.

        • coram nobis

          Adultery is a sin. The bible doesn’t mention childery, though, far as I can tell.

          • Silver Badger

            Adultery was a sin if she is married to another man. Any man who could afford them had as many wives and concubines as he wanted and adultery wasn’t part of the picture.

          • coram nobis

            That’s right. Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines, or some such.

            Solomon, who was one of the Deity’s favorites, had a copulation cabinet composed of seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines. To save his life he could not have kept two of these young creatures satisfactorily refreshed, even if he had had fifteen experts to help him. Necessarily almost the entire thousand had to go hungry years and years on a stretch. Conceive of a man hardhearted enough to look daily upon all that suffering and not be moved to mitigate it. He even wantonly added a sharp pang to that pathetic misery; for he kept within those women’s sight, always, stalwart watchmen whose splendid masculine forms made the poor lassies’ mouths water but who hadn’t anything to solace a candlestick with, these gentry being eunuchs. A eunuch is a person whose candle has been put out. By art.
            — Mark Twain, Letters From The Earth

          • UrsusArctos 🐻

            Vandalism. Moore “damaged” some other man’s “property”.

  • SFBruce

    The age of consent is 16 in Alabama, so Ziegler sort of has a point. But he ignores the 14-year-old whom Moore liquored up in order to make it easier to get her to go along with taking their clothes off and rubbing each other. Of course, Ziegler is ignoring the fact that there’s something immoral and unethical with a man in authority using that authority to seduce barely legal teens, especially, since Moore has spent his whole on a rigid moral crusade.

    While Alabama is just fine with abuse of young women, laws outlawing sex between two people of the sex remains on the books, despite the fact that Lawrence was handed down 14 years ago.

  • White Canary

    Jesus fucking Christ

  • Friday

    All this from the people who claimed it was horrible when Muhammad supposedly did it. 🙂

  • Mike C

    Remember this when folks say that you’re being dramatic when you tell them the end goal for these people is literally Gideon.

  • Sean Williams

    Mary was a virgin. Joseph was not the father.

    • The_Wretched

      It’s a weird little elide isn’t it? By the biblical accounts, Joseph wasn’t the “bio-father.” That’d make even his strained analogy not right.

      • Sean Williams

        I also feel like:

        “There’s just nothing immoral or illegal here, Maybe just a little bit unusual.”

        is the new tourism slogan for Alabama.

    • Silver Badger

      The hymen has slits in it to allow menstrual flow. Mary could well have been a virgin no matter how many tips she got.

      Remember, good tipping is good Karma.

    • The ‘Cult of the Virgin’ didn’t really become a thing until the Council of Ephesus (431 CE), then promulgated by Pope Gregory, in the late 500s CE.

      Prior to then, she was venerated but not considered a mythic figure.

    • Adonisus

      Yet somehow Jesus is connected to the House of David because of Joseph….who apparently wasn’t his actual father. Which basically strikes off one of the BIG requirements for Messiah-hood.

  • Oh, Parker

    Remember when the Republicans and the evangelicals and people like Anita Bryant railed against gay rights because they were worried about legitimizing pedophilia? Apparently when it comes to winning an election they don’t either.

  • Paula
  • https://twitter.com/TheRachelFisher/status/928745508385931265

    I can’t improve on this. Because it’s true.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      A lot of men like to threaten to bang robots with boobs instead of women. Women should say “Greatest favor, ever.”

      • IcyFaye

        There was literally a Rick and Morty episode about exactly that

  • Mark Née Fuzz

    There are times when a statement deserves a thoughtful and well-crafted response. This is not one of them. Bite me, Ziegler.

  • Daveed_WOW

    Anyone who defends Roy Moore on this is beyond the pale. He will still get millions of votes. In Alabama.

  • blackstar

    Republicans should change their names to the “projection party”

    https://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/MjAxNC1lYzZmYzUyMjM0Y2NjYzkx.png

    • Dazzer

      An old British proverb: “Empty vessels make the most sound”.

      So many Republican politicians must defy quantum physics to be even emptier on the inside than they are in 3-D.

    • LaChatSayWha

      Holy shit. Someone ought to start checking the basements of conservative-owned pizza parlors.

  • Friday

    I think you monotheists’ virginity fetish has caused enough trouble for one day, gummint preacher man.

  • drbrentzenobia

    “Jesus never said anything against capital punishment when he was up on the cross. And that would have been a Pretty Good Time To Do It, wouldn’t it? So, what are we waiting for?!?”

  • Judas Peckerwood

    This is what happens when you let Josh Duggar write your talking points.

  • ChrisMorley

    The very awkward statutory rape law in Al-Abama

    Individuals aged 15 or younger in Alabama are not legally able to consent to sexual activity, and such activity may result in prosecution for statutory rape.

    Alabama statutory rape law is violated when an individual over age 18 (or 16 or older if the victim is at least 2 years younger than the offender) engages in sexual intercourse with a person over the age of 12 and under age 16.

    https://www.ageofconsent.net/states/alabama

    They do love them some sodomy laws:
    The offender commits the crime of sodomy If an individual age 16 or older engages in deviate sexual intercourse with a person under 16 and older than 12.

    • Dazzer

      Chris, you’re sensibly pointing out the law and the legality of the situation.

      But in the real world of where these people come from, the law means very little. Laws are advisory rather than boundaries for far too many of them.

      Culturally, a lot of Moore supporters will have friends or family where screwing a 12-year-old is a frowned upon – but accepted – part of the human condition.

      This is what we’re up against. Laws mean one thing, but family history mean something entirely different.

  • Jeff Breeze

    And the hits just keep on coming. The level of hypocrisy on display is staggering right now

  • Orly

    Uh huh. Can’t wait to see ex-children accusing you of the same shit.

    Also, does the bible actually spell out the ages of Mary and Joseph? Not that it actually matters – women and girls were mostly property back then.

    • Lars Littlefield

      It depends. Do you want it to spell out their ages? That can be arranged. After all, it’s the bible.

  • Nate

    Worth noting that Moore’s wife is 14 years younger than him…

    • Lars Littlefield

      Yeah. And she’s a babe.

    • sfbob

      I suppose. My husband’s 27 years younger than me. And HE’S a babe.

      • Dazzer

        LOL. Does he say the same thing about you?

  • Jay George

    FYI- Ziegler uses his spare time trying to prevent women from having safe, legal abortions.

  • Michael McReavy

    In so many ways, US politics is fucked up. However, for entertainment value, no country even comes close.

  • Dom Saunders
  • JCF
  • NotoLepage

    Gosh, they don’t even try to hide the theocracy in Alabama anymore, do they?

    • Dom Saunders

      Someone really needs to tell these backwards idiots that Biblical laws are NOT the laws of the country. Whatever some illiterate goat-herder said 2000+ years ago in a country you’re not even living in right now has nothing to do with the time, culture, and laws of today. Fucking idiots, I swear…

  • Ben in Oakland

    So are you really saying the Joseph did indeed fuck Mary, and that Jesus was illegitimate?

    Or are you saying that Muslim habit of marrying children really is just fine because you know jEsus and everything?

    • edrex

      he’s saying the alabama habit of marrying children is fine.

      • Ben in Oakland

        As long as the kids are their own, I assume. In the gay marriage debate, they were constantly saying things like “If gay marriage is allowed, we’ll have to allow father daughter marriages.”

  • sfbob

    Another fool who thinks American legal codes and mores are what ruled ancient Israel. I doubt either Mary’s or Joseph’s age would have even been worthy of notice back then.

  • Jay George
  • I WANNA BE A GOP CUZ THEY’RE ALWAYS GUILT-FREE.

  • RNegron

    Sure… Roy was looking for an immaculate kind of relationship. You can see it on his face!

  • nocadrummer

    “Because Jesus!”

    I just KNEW that line of “reasoning” would pop up soon.
    They’re not saying he DIDN’T do it.

    But Mary was r̶a̶p̶e̶d̶ 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 by God. Roy Moore isn’t God.

    • canoebum

      Roy Moore isn’t God.

      Try convincing him of that.

  • Henry Auvil

    “Take the Bible.” Please. And flush that useless, antiquated text down the toilet already.

  • Queequeg

    Those Evangelicals love a good pussy grabber, especially if it is underaged pussy.

  • essmeier

    Pretty much every female who gave birth 2000 years ago was a teenager. That’s how things work when your life expectancy is 30-35, which is about what it was back then.

    Of course, Roy Moore lives in the now, despite the fact that his rhetoric suggests otherwise.

  • Andymac3

    Red flag! Red flag! Alabama State Auditor Jim Ziegler using the bible to defend child molestation way too casually for it to be his first time using this line. He should probably be investigated thoroughly.

  • Gianni

    That’s not even a remotely clever rationalization. Try it in court, jackass.

  • Fritz C Stadig

    Jesus was not the son of Joseph…As your Bible says, Jesus was the son of God, or the son of himself, however you want to spin it.

  • Frostbite

    Didn’t I say this in a previous thread? Lol

  • James West

    “As clean as a hound’s tooth.” At least I got a good line out of it. Honestly, the list of religious right wackos caught in various forms of decidedly un-biblical fornication, fondling, fellating and (probably) flagellating with rent boys, streetwalkers, teenagers and possibly corpses now & again is staggering. It;s like they expect to someday find themselves in the best lil’ whorehouse in Heaven.

    • Gianni

      Please remember that afterward, they know in their hearts that God forgives them. Therefor, the sin is then removed, clean slate, and all that bullshit.

      • James West

        The slate’s as clean as a hound’s tooth? 🙂
        Or as dirty as a polecat’s ass? 🙂

  • Gianni

    Holy Books are the absolute best collections of excuses for literally any kind of questionable behavior.

  • gary7bnet

    This is the kind of nonsense that needs to be on ABC, CBS, NBC as lead stories.

  • andrew

    Ziegler should reread some of that biblical mythology. According to the myth Joseph wasn’t the father of Jesus. Mary was a virgin who conceived a child.

  • Queequeg

    And it is even better if the 14 year old you are screwing just happens to be your sister. As Neil Young would say “oh, oh, Alabam”.

  • Halou

    Paedophilia is good now because it is in the Bible?

    Meanwhile in the minds of Evangelical radicals…. Islam is evil because Mohammad’s first wife was many years younger than him!! Must ban the entire religion!!

  • jonfromcalifornia

    Let’s call him what he is then- a CHRISTIAN PEDOPHILE.

    • MBear

      Redundant

  • Rocco

    Gomer Pyle said what?

  • Karl Dubhe

    Mary was raped. I don’t recall her as being in a position to refuse the advances of a god. No woman would be. The imbalance of power between the individuals is absolute.

    “Alabama State Official approves of the state raping young girls.” That’s what the headline should read.

    • Ben in Oakland

      So, if that god known as Ryan Reynolds demands that I have sex with him, I have no choice but to consent!

      • Karl Dubhe

        No. If Zeus, or Vulcan, or Hera for that matter, was to pop into your room, you’d get raped.

        Or the God of Abraham.

        Anyone born of a woman, isn’t a god. 🙂 Now, if a man gives birth, that might be a god. As it would require a supernatural intervention.

        • Ben in Oakland

          Well, thanks for destroying my entire afternoon!!!! I was so looking forward to my visitation from St. Ryan. now, I’m just going to have to go to the market.

          • Karl Dubhe

            YW. But hey, it’s all fiction. I’m sure you could find some porn that features that storyline. 🙂

            And in a fantasy like this one, the fantasy is very likely to be better than any reality.

  • Raising_Rlyeh

    By today’s standards Joseph and Zechariah would be considered pedophiles. It is NOW not considered acceptable to date, marry, or have sex with a minor. Biblical pedophilia is still pedophilia.

    Tangentially, it’s so fucking weird that states will let a child marry an adult with the parents’ consent.

    • Spray on abs

      Getting their daughters married is their goal.

      • Ann Kah

        Getting their daughters married as soon as they expect the girls are sexually active…

    • Talisman

      While this is true in the past, today, all states require that each person must be at least 18 years of age to marry without parental consent (the exceptions are Mississippi (minimum age 21) and Nebraska (minimum age 19).

      With parental consent, things anything goes….From Wikipedia:

      Unlike most Western countries, half of the US states do not have a legal minimum age of marriage. While in most US states, individuals age 18 have a right to marriage (with two exceptions—Nebraska (19) and Mississippi (21)), all states allow minors to marry in certain circumstances, such as parental consent, judicial consent, pregnancy, or a combination of these situations. Most states allow parties aged 16 and 17 to marry with parental consent alone. In most states, children under 16 can be married too. In the 25 states [1] which have an absolute minimum age set by statute, this age varies between 13 and 17, while in 25 states there is no statutory minimum age if other legal conditions are met. Although in such states there is no set minimum age by statute, the traditional common law minimum age is 14 for boys and 12 for girls – ages which have been confirmed by case law in some states.[

  • GanymedeRenard

    I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if the girl were first-degree related to this POS and she didn’t know.

  • Halou
  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    Anybody who votes for Moore should be assumed to be either a predator or eager to be complicit.

  • Scott MB

    So according to Alabama all child sexual abuse laws should be thrown out because the bible. Ok, then the age of consent will now be 10?!

    Is this guy really justifying the sexual assault of a minor. It matters not if there was penetration, he touched a 14 year old in the genital area, that constitutes sexual abuse of a minor in any state. But we know how those southern boys like their girls young and bald, sick fucker!!!

    • leastyebejudged

      It’s Alabama, the Bible is most important !

  • Jerry Burke

    Mary was a 14 y.o. virgin who was raped and impregnated against her will by an all powerful much older supreme being. Joseph was innocent.

    • MBear

      Enabler

    • leastyebejudged

      Judging the past with today’s standards, which evolved FROM the past, is worse than folly, is worse than deception, is worse than dishonest.

      Most of humanity’s existence has been violence and rape-based, everyone alive today is a descendant of a rape-baby.

      Hell, the earliest physical evidence we have indicates people were having babies as soon as they hit puberty.

    • Johnny Wyeknot

      What makes you think she wasn’t begging for it?

    • Talisman

      To be fair, the Biblical passages can be interpreted in such a way as to suggest that Mary gave consent. In the passages in Luke, the angel Gabriel appeared to Mary and said that God would come to her and she would conceive. She responded with “Let it be”. Consent?

      • Ben in Oakland

        Or she went pregnant to Joseph and claimed it was an angel.

  • chewy

    Hey, Jim: fuck your bible.

  • Their talking points don’t even have to make sense. They just need worst strung together that they can repeat and avoid dealing with what shit they are supporting.

  • Dale Snyder

    You sick KKKristian pig!

    • MBear

      Redundant

  • RoFaWh

    What is wrong with people who live in Alabama?

    To answer my own question, probably too much shitty religion.

  • Ann Kah

    “Maybe just a little bit unusual.”

    It’s Alabama, it’s not unusual.

  • leastyebejudged

    Jesus was a rape-baby, so rape-baby’s are A-OK !

  • Jeff Breeze

    Wish I could say im surprised here, but im not, Personally i find it utterly hilarious and hypocritcal that the RR has anointed as their messiah someone who has never gone to church a day in his life, never prayed or asked God/Allah/Yahweh for anything. Is it wrong just ONCE I want one of these idiots to practice what they preach?

  • superindy

    So let’s all go back to conditions as they were at the time of this fairy tale?

    • at which time The New testament did not exist. Old school.

  • Snarky

    Not that I’m asking anyone here to watch FOX News, but… in the days ahead, I’m sure there will be an “error” in at least one FOX chyron, in which they refer to Moore as a Democrat. Oops! How did that happen? ¯_(ツ)_/¯

  • Talisman

    We’re not all that far removed from a time when it was normal for girls to be married off as soon as they started menstruating. My maternal grandmother was only 14 when she was married in 1916 and had her first child that same year. She had 12 children (2 of which were stillborn) before she could no longer bear children. My father was the second-to-last.

    My father (born in ’36) and most of his siblings were married with children before they were 20 (My father divorced his first wife after they had 3 children).

    A girl I went to high school with was married at 12 years old. Her husband was in his 30’s. She was divorced before she even graduated high school. To her credit (and his, I guess), she did graduate.

    In many places in the south, it’s still expected that someone should be married as young as possible, and to start making babies as soon as possible.

    So, yeah, where fundamentalism exists, there will always be creepy older men chasing teenage girls.

    • and I was thinking watching the series American Horror Story was pretty damn creepy…

  • leastyebejudged

    Just call Alabama “THE RAPE STATE” for now on.

    • Old Top Kick

      The Pedophile State would be more appropriate. Tennessee and Arkansas might want to fight over that one – I’ll just sell popcorn on the sidelines.

  • pj

    somebody thinks this idiot needs an office and a phone and a job. remarkable.

  • Robert Adams

    Yeah, and let’s not forget Virgin Mary’s pregnancy wasn’t exactly voluntary either. We all know the word for that.

    • red-diaper-baby 1942

      The Jewish/Christian deity wasn’t the only one who went around raping women. His colleague Zeus did it a lot more often; in fact, he was famous for it. And western (male) art has “celebrated” many of these rapes, by Zeus and others: how many representations of the rape of Leda are there in western museums? and Persephone? and Europa? And all the others? Sometimes the woman would “escape” by turning herself into a plant — not an enviable fate. And again, this was celebrated by a male poet (Ovidius). What’s more, since the god often took the form of an animal, I suppose these events would count as “bestiality”. Yeah, lets celebrate!

  • Girlgoon

    That’s actually Sid Fargus from a seinfeld episode where George becomes a bra salesman.

  • Paula Key

    Ziegler, in your Biblical examples, none of the women were groped

  • MUELLER KNOWS

    Because everyone knows Jesus would be rocking an AR-15 and boning barely pubescent babes if he was around today.

  • 3-Star

    I’m waiting for him to recite the seven deadly sins. Oh, wait, he does not want to bring light to himself.

  • Dale Snyder

    Fucking just WOW.

    Christians truly are sick motherfuckers.

  • red-diaper-baby 1942

    Words fail me. These people are simply unbelievable.

  • Chris Bartlett

    Its bad enough that he is using a fairy tale book to justify a sexual predator, he is also getting it wrong. No one knows the age of Mary as the bible never mentions it.

  • Ginger Snap

    The sick, disgusting and twisted followers of a god.

  • Jerry Kopp

    What ever gave him the idea that Jesus was moral….lol Joseph was 90and Mary 12. Setting that aside there is nothing moral about Christianity or any religious affliction.

  • Charles Nelson

    The same Israelite God that engaged in mass species genocide (the Flood), demanded that an innocent boy be murdered by his father (Abraham), killed all of the first born of Egypt (Moses), demanded that native residents be slaughtered by invading Israelites (Exodus) and then impregnated a young virgin girl (Mary).

    • Ben in Oakland

      By definition, he’s a very moral god. Just not my definition of mOral.

  • tmdonahue

    Yeah, the Virgin Mary had no choice. The Angel just arrived and said, “God has had his way with you and your pregnant.”

  • Old Top Kick

    This scumbag is a pedophile. Guaranteed.

  • Forrest Halford

    Did this guy, in claiming that Joseph was fucking Mary and impregnated her, just try to deflect evidence away from God the rapist?

    these people truly have no shame

  • Nowhereman

    To all you Roy Moore supporters out there:

    THE BUYBULL IS NOT THE LAW OF THE LAND.

    What other 2500 year old practices would they be comfortable with?

  • Pip

    Wow, the way they’ll try and justify child molestation should be shocking… But let’s be honest here. It’s not.

  • infmom

    I must have missed the part where Joseph molested Mary. Must be because I never read the Conserva-Bible.

  • From the Heartland

    As any sociologist will tell Mr Roy, in biblical times, Mary was OF legal age for her culture. And if he reads the bible, he’ll know that Joseph never had relations with Mary. There are still cultures where 13 year olds can legally get married.

  • Cilia

    If something was legal it doesn’t mean it is moral. It was also legal to poke out eyes and chop of dicks and tongues. And I forgot to add that slavery was legal, too.

  • Carol Pennell

    completely shocking?