KENYA: Censor Wants Ex-Gay Therapy For Male Lions, Says They Learned Gay Sex From Watching Humans

The New York Daily News reports:

Two male lions photographed while seemingly having sex has fur flying in Kenya, where a local moral leader and censor blames the same-sex behavior on gays who’ve visited the area.

“These animals need counseling, because probably they have been influenced by gays who have gone to the national parks and behaved badly,” Ezekiel Mutua, the head of the Kenya Film Classification Board, told Nairobi News. “I don’t know, they must have copied it somewhere or it is demonic,” Mutua added. “Because these animals do not watch movies.”

“Some research needs to be done,” Mutua told Nairobi News. “And also I wish I can get the bio to confirm the two lions were actually male, because it is not normal.” He suggested that the lusty “lion love birds” (his term) could have copied the homosexual acts after watching a gay couple have sex in the reserve.

RELATED: Yesterday Mutua banned the Disney Channel’s Andi Mack from Kenya’s airwaves over a gay storyline.


  • Paula

    These people are completely insane.

    • NZArtist

      The imaginary friend wasn’t a giveaway?

    • Rocco Gibraltar

      I can assure you I learned that behavior without watching lions knock boots.

    • Todd20036

      As if gay men are dumb enough to have sex in an area with lions.

      But what are they going to do, try to get lions to accept Jesus as their lord and savior?

      I just had a horrible thought: what if their solution is to kill the gay lions so “other lions don’t learn gay sex from them”?

      Yes I realize how stupid that sounds.

      • Salton

        I’m sure the lions asked politely, we’re interested in what your are doing, can we watch, please?

      • Uncle Mark

        Todd, haven’t you figured out that the lions also learned to be FIERCE from us?

        If you bring over some of Americas Christianistas, the lions will probably find a very easy, slow-moving, cholesterol-packed meal OR they’ll learn to roam the Serengeti on mobility scooters. Frankly, I’m all for re-introducing the Christians to the lions…in the old traditional Roman Colosseum setting

        • Joseph Miceli

          Ooo! Ooo! Pat Robertson first! Let’s see if he can still leg press 2,000 pounds of lion.

        • Kruhn

          That’s actually a myth.

          • Grumpy Old Man

            Supposedly, most of the persecution was just hype to give them street cred. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/06fe776fbb97d387816a92a5b2720a464024876a993fd5fdb970db5d4dbe80a2.jpg

          • Janet

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      • BrigidsBlest

        Nah, everyone knows that ASLAN is the lions’ lord and savior.

      • MonochromeMouse
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      • fahvel

        sounds very american from what I read and hear.

      • Nic Peterson

        I thought Scar died at the end of Lion King. Maybe that was just for show…

    • zherazhera

      You know what is the main difference between humans and animals?

      Animals aren’t willfully stupid.

      • (((GC)))

        Other animals don’t go to church — THAT’S what’s “unnatural”!

    • Uncle Mark

      Some of us learned from Wild Kingdom how to stalk, pounce, and devour enemy co-workers. HR’s had a bitch of a time with some of us.

    • fahvel

      “these” people are no more insane than the homophobic clans that a sounding the gay alarm in the usa – this is pittance compared to the hate expressed where you are.

    • Robincho

      But what do you expect from the country that birthed Thanxobama?…

    • Chris Baker

      The idea that animals can suddenly turn gay and that ends the species is laughable. Being gay is more than just sex, being gay includes emotional attraction too. Animals have sexual urges and sometimes they use those urges on other animals of the same sex, but more than likely, most will continue to have sex with animals of the opposite sex and the species will continue. There has been same sex activity between animals for millenia but the species continue. Much extinction has come about due to human behavior (over-hunting, removing habitat, etc.).

    • Librarykid

      All Christianists who believe this bullshit story should be put in a classroom with lions to reprogram them and see how far they get into their lecture before they are attacked and dispatched. This could be the gift that keeps on giving (or taking). At any rate, the lions are purer than the people around them, especially those driven insane by religion.

    • Goodboy

      I at first thought the “doctor” was the “eat da poo poo” guy.

    • metrored

      You know those two lions are obsessed with Call Me By Your name. At every screening people were like “who are those two lions making out in the back?” I think one of them even interviewed Armie Hammer as Sundance.

  • fuow

    Wow. He should be working for the Trump administration. Dresses a bit too well for that, though, now I think about it.

  • bkmn

    Why do I get the feeling Mr. Matua has watched plenty of movies?

    • edrex

      but those involve bears, not lions.

  • Pollos Hermanos
    • TexasBoy

      Heavens to Murgatroyd

      • misterjack

        Exit: Stage Left.

        • Kruhn

          Fabulously, even!

  • Pollos Hermanos
  • Halou

    Kudos to the gay couple(s) brave enough to have sex out in the open in full view of African wildlife.

    • Tulle Christensen

      Lions and tigers and bears, oh my

    • Craig Howell

      At least they didn’t do it right in front of my salad!

  • TexasBoy

    I think Mutua should prance right up to those lions, slap them on the snout to get their attention, then calmly start talking to them about their sexual behavior. I mean, you know, what could possibly go wrong?

    • MBear

      If he has the power of jeebus behind him, he should fear nothing

      • TampaDink

        Except crucifixion.

        • MBear

          Out the door, line on your left, one cross each

          • TampaDink

            Well played, sir.

      • Librarykid

        except not using the brain God gave him or using it for evil and not for good.

  • ikahana

    Some female lions have manes, you crazy batshit idiot. And even if it is two male lions, you won’t be able to find a couch strong enough to support them for your therapy and they’d probably bite your fool head off if you tried.

    • AW

      then by all means he should try.

      • Only if they live-stream the video.

        • Paula

          Even if it doesn’t work, it will provide some great footage.

    • Tomcat

      So they are in drag you say.

      • Librarykid

        WORSE, possibly transgender!

    • CottonBlimp

      Maned lionesses? B-b-but I thought there were only two genders!!

    • JackFknTwist

      And the big balls ?

      • ikahana

        That’s a different photo.

    • Galvestonian

      …send Pat Robertson to counsel them. Make sure they fast first.

  • edrex

    have all evangelicals ceased to develop past the age of four?

    • Furface

      No, some are still working toward that goal.

  • Tomcat

    This behavior is more common in the animal kingdom than these fools know.
    Animals don’t have sexual hangups that mankind has created for themselves.
    All they know is if it feels good DO IT.

  • Ernest Endevor

    By 2050 it is expected that one in four human beings on the planet will live in Africa. Population growth will be most explosive there and in Asia. But after 2050, it is expected that only Africa will see its population continue to soar. Collectively, the nations of Africa are expected to form an economy to rival China’s. Among the countries whose population is most expected to soar are Kenya and Uganda. God help us all if this nonsense continues. And god help our LGBT brothers and sisters.

  • Bluto

    Eat da poopoo & STFU.

  • Sam_Handwich
    • another_steve

      All gay males over a certain age have been there.

      I remember, with considerable fondness, brute and carnal sex.

    • Cuberly Deux

      Daddy RAY!

    • kelven

      They do look like they are enjoying themselves don’t they? No wonder Daddy Ray wants in on the action!

    • Robincho

      I like the slightly protruding tongue, and that’s the bottom lion for me…

  • Adonisus

    The bottom lion is clearly enjoying it.

  • Tomcat

    Maybe it is just their way of saying FUCK YOU.

  • In a weird way this kind of refresh to be reminded that America doesn’t have a monopoly on batshitery.

    • Stev84

      In fact they are even batshittier than America. Which is saying something

      • Yep and it’s only getting worse with the support from the likes of Scott Lively and Richard Cohen.

    • NZArtist

      You are one of the world’s major exporters though.

      • djcoastermark

        Aha,like minds.

    • djcoastermark

      Another imported American product. See story on tonette and his clan visiting Egypt.

  • David Walker

    “Some research needs to be done,” Mutua told Nairobi News.

    Some research HAS been done, you idiot. Actually, a fair amount of research has been done and it concludes we’re everywhere and in lots and lots of species. I know it goes against the grain, but you might try to read a study or two. Start with the book about the two penguins in the zoo. It even has pictures.

  • drtrmiller

    It’s a shame the lions don’t learn to be vegetarian, given the bulk of the diet of rural Kenyan villagers.

  • Lazycrockett

    Lyrics
    You cannot go against nature
    Because when you do
    Go against nature
    It’s part of nature too…

    Artist: Love and Rockets
    Album: Earth, Sun, Moon
    Released: 1987
    Genre: Alternative/Indie

  • BearEyes

    because, of course, lions can catch teh ghey
    /s

  • Michael

    Yeah, because, you know, it couldn’t be due to the fact that homosexuality is 100% natural.

  • another_steve

    My husband is an animal. A brute. A heathen.

    Me…I consent.

    Reluctantly.

  • MBear

    Is Ezekial Mutua retarded?

    • David Walker

      Hard to say. He’s described as a censor and a moral leader.

      • NZArtist

        So… yes.

        • MBear

          Right outta mah mouthses (fingerses)

  • Dirk Prophet

    Any therapists want to volunteer?

  • Mrs. Councillor Nugent

    “Hello, may I speak with Leo the Lion?” “I’m sorry, he’s on another lion.”

    • Mrs. Councillor Nugent

      Cubs?
      We’ll adopt.

  • Henry Auvil

    Those lions watched a scratchy VHS tape of “Boys in the Sand”, and after that all they wanted was dick. Sounds sensible.

    • Treant

      It worked for me. Just sayin’.

  • NZArtist

    When you have an imaginary friend and reality doesn’t relflect your delusions, you have to try to change reality. Because no one ever wants to change their beliefs. Why don’t you just declare that reality disrespects your religious freedoms….

    • Worked for fox news.

    • (((GC)))

      Yup, Stephen Colbert was right about reality and its well-known liberal bias.

  • TampaDink

    Oh for fucks sake!!!
    Did they also learn to cook their meat prior to eating? Humans do it…they might have seen it happen.

    • David Walker

      And then there’s that Range Rover they found. They’ve seen big brave white hunters drive them, so…

      • TampaDink

        I suspect that the licensing process might be less bureaucratic in Kenya.

        • Bad Tom

          YOU tell the lion he failed the driving exam.

      • Galvestonian

        I think I’ve seen them driving around Houston and once on the beach in Galveston …

    • Treant

      No, but it’s where those lions got the kinky sex toy ads.

  • Benji

    What a f***ing moron!

    • Bj Lincoln

      I reserve ‘f**cking moron’ for my daily tweet to the man-child Drumpf.

      • Stev84

        This isn’t a highlander situation

  • Stev84

    If it was good for Noah it’s good for Kenya:

    https://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2015/05/ad_170581836.jpg

    • j.martindale

      Male lions procreated with other male lions? That’s a new one.

      • olandp

        Anything is possible with God.

        • JackFknTwist

          Especially after he slaughtered the human race with the exception of 8 humans.
          Yeah, sure, I’ll follow that God……not !

        • (((GC)))

          As Dan Savage famously said, he’ll keep inseminating his husband and hoping for a miracle.

  • m_lp_ql_m

    Y’see! This is what happens when prayer isn’t allowed in lion school!

  • Lazycrockett
  • m_lp_ql_m

    Not only is this homophobic, but it’s also speciesist.

  • NZArtist

    My bet:the lions will mysteriously be shot by the end of the week.

    • m_lp_ql_m

      One will be killed, and the other will end up in the priesthood.

  • Henry Auvil
    • Adam Stevens

      They’re BOTH going to gay tiger hell. So’s the dude encouraging them.

      Have you learned NOTHING from the righteous?

      • JCF

        Um, those are lions.

        • Librarykid

          sweet kitties!

    • JAKvirginia

      Um… what was that dude doing back there?

      • D. Gray

        fluffing

  • ETownCanuck

    Women are still murdered over there for being witches…hardly anything surprises me about Africa anymore.

  • Adam Stevens

    You can take Ezekiel Mutua out of the grass hut park, but you can’t take the grass hut park out of Ezekiel Mutua.

    • NZArtist

      You can’t seem to take the racist out of forum posters no matter where you put them.

      • Adam Stevens

        Dumb.

        It’s a famous saying about trailer parks, and it totally applies here. Except for the ‘trailer’ part.

        But congrats on finding your moment of offense for the day.

        Also, kindly refrain from telling my husband of 17 years of my racism, it would break his heart, as he’s a racial minority too.

        Oy vey.

        • NZArtist

          So… you stereotype of African people wasn’t racist? Well okay then. It’s always helpful when people explain how they aren’t racist and how I shouldn’t be offended. Thank you for clearing that up.

        • NZArtist

          Y’know, one of my bestest friends is from a racial minority. We’ve fucked many times, I’ve sucked his cock many times, he and his boyfriend double fucked me a few times…
          And I’m still a racist bastard. I still catch myself thinking racially stereotyped thoughts, still catch myself jumping to conclusions about news reports based on race. I was raised in a very racist household, in a very racist age. I struggle against it. At least I recognise I have a problem.
          Your comment was racist. Own it.

  • William

    I throw the cats out of the bedroom before we get busy. Otherwise, they stare and judge.

    • BearEyes

      using little signs with numbers written on them?

      • William

        “He’s faking it.”

    • Bj Lincoln

      One dog could care less but the other doesn’t like mommy hurting the other mommy. He is my dog and very protective. They both get shut out when we get busy.

  • thatotherjean

    Mr. Mutua is an idiot, who needs to do more research on animal behavior, and pay less attention to fundamentalist Christians from the US. What he’s seeing is not uncommon in the animal kingdom. The lions didn’t have to learn anything from humans.

    • AmeriCanadian

      Sub human “intellect” is incapable of learning anything, let alone researching. Lost cause.

    • iambu

      That’s DR. Mutua…apparently…

    • Librarykid

      religion is the refuge of the ignorant and evil, both those willfully ignorant and naturally ignorant.

  • Sam_Handwich
    • BearEyes

      upvote for Maya

  • jonfromcalifornia

    “Doctor” of what? Religious quackery?

    • Friday

      “Liberty U Medical.”

      • jonfromcalifornia

        LOL! Probably right! Liberty U where the best “minds” of Evangelical religious quackery gather. LOL

  • vorpal 😼

    How does one provide ex-gay therapy to lions? Will they make them vegetarians while they’re at it?

    On an unrelated note, today has been the worst day in ages. My best friend killed himself this morning due to chronic issues with stress, anxiety, depression, and long-term disability. If I’m not around for awhile, that is why.

    • Sam_Handwich

      (((Vorpal))) so sorry for your loss.

    • David Walker

      Oh my god, Vorpal. That’s an awful shock. Please take the time you need. We all understand.
      {{{{{Hugs}}}}}

    • thatotherjean

      Much sympathy, vorpal. Do what you need to do and come back when you can.

    • greenmanTN

      That’s awful. I don’t know quite what to say other than take care of yourself.

    • BearEyes

      OMG – so sorry to hear that
      Big Bear Hugs to you!

    • SoCalGal20

      Oh no! Very sorry to hear about your friend. *hugs*

    • TampaDink

      (((((Vorpal)))))

    • Christian1234567

      I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you. hugs, if you want them

    • Danieruw

      I am so sorry Vorpal. Please take care of yourself and hug your furry friends. They can be a great a comfort.

    • coram nobis

      I’m terribly grieved to hear that. My condolences.

    • misterjack

      So sorry for your loss.

    • JAKvirginia

      Horrible. My heart hurts for you and your friend. Hugs. It’s lame but it’s all I can do.

    • Ninja0980

      Sorry about your friend.

    • Menergy

      I join the others here in sending deep condolences and comfort in the messages, Vorpal. That’s a terrible shock. May he be at peace

    • Snarkaholic

      I am SO sorry.

    • Zeldacat

      Oh no! (((Vorpal)))

    • Wynter Marie Starr

      I’m so sorry. I know it is difficult to deal with and understand, but sometimes suicide seems like an answer. It isn’t, of course. Take care of yourself and speak with a mental health provider.

    • Todd20036

      Hugs beautiful. We are all here for you. Love to you!

    • GanymedeRenard

      Oh no! So sorry for your loss, Vorpie! If there’s an afterlife, I truly hope your friend finds peace – I myself have been very close to the “final solution” as I like to call it. And I hope you can take this with strength, my friend.

    • madknits

      I am so very sorry to hear this.
      I hope you are able to care for yourself at this time.

    • yes b’y

      ((((vorpal))))

    • JackFknTwist

      That is absolutely shocking. I’m sorry for him and for you. I hope you can take some time out.

    • Bob Conti

      So sorry. Take care of yourself.

    • -M-

      So sorry for your loss and for your friend and his other loved ones. Take care of yourself. We all look forward to your return. 💔

    • Bad Tom

      Oh, I am so sorry to hear that. Blessings and hugs to you.

    • Nychta

      Tragic news. Sorry he was in such straits. Thank you for letting us know. Please care for yourself well during this time.

    • zherazhera

      Oh vorpal! I’m so sorry. You get all the hugs, ever. Take your time and know we’ll be here if you need us. ❤

    • Salton

      Sorry to hear your loss. Courage, mon ami.

    • Max_1

      Peace…

    • fuzzybits

      Sorry to hear this. Hugs to you and everyone in his life.

    • JCF

      {{{vorpal}}}

      Take time away if you need to—but if you need to reach out, do that, also.

      May your friend rest in peace.

    • Furface
    • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

      Sorry for your loss vorpal. Hugs.

    • Gretchen

      I’m so sorry for your loss, vorpal. My heart goes out to you, and I wish you peace and solace as you mourn your friend.

    • Grumpy Old Man

      I am so sorry! Take care of yourself.

    • Robincho

      Why is it that Life must come with so many caveats and footnotes and asterisks? My wish for you is one of strength in these days…

    • (((GC)))

      I’m so sorry! And there are no words to make everything “all right”. Sending one more virtual hug…. I hope good memories of your friend’s better times give some comfort… And please do take care of yourself!

      (As for ex-gay therapy for lions, we’d have a much better chance with ex-Christianist therapy for their critics!)

    • Galvestonian

      Hugs, babe … we’re all thinking of you and wishing you well.

    • ByronK

      Oh, vorpal, I’m so, so sorry to hear this. My condolences and thinking of you during this difficult time. Do be kind to yourself as you work through this tragic situation. Big comforting hugs to you!

    • Girlgoon

      Sorry hon, I’ve been there myself.

    • iambu

      *all the hugs*

    • Librarykid

      Dear Vorpal, I am sorry for your great loss. If there is any comfort for you, it is that your friend’s soul has found release from his pain. I hope that eventually you will find peace and healing from your loss.

    • Ron Robertson

      I’m so sorry, what a horrible situation in every way. Having been through that experience, I hope you have someone to help you through this. I just barely survived it myself, and I give credit to my family and friends who helped me make it through. Crying for your pain. SO sorry.

    • ScottSinEC

      I’m sorry to hear that. Big hugs.

    • houstonray

      I’m not sure what to say that hasn’t been said already but sending peace and light to you. And a couple of big Texas hugs…

  • coram nobis

    “The lions were also spotted engaged in acts of congress with their female parents, which, according to Ezekiel Mutua of Omaha, made them lion motherfuckers.”

  • SoCalGal20

    Remember Terry Crews’ story of a Hollywood exec groping him at a party? Turns out he’s a bigwig agent at WME. He’s taken a “leave of absence”.

    https://twitter.com/vulture/status/926575816888201216

  • JDS

    Uneducated twits.

  • ByronK

    JFC, did he immigrate to Kenya from Alabama or something?

  • Paula

    Maybe a good idea would be to lock both lions in a large room full of x-tians that can pray over the lions to pray away the Gay. Make sure the lions are very hungry.

  • SoCalGal20
    • Sam_Handwich

      yup! problem is the myth is already out there, so the truth won’t matter much

      • TampaDink

        So true.
        Vince Foster.

      • SoCalGal20

        Right. Why the fuck is it even in Donna’s book? And THANKS douchebag publisher who released that excerpt.

      • Halou

        “Besides, as the vilest Writer has his Readers, so the greatest Liar has his Believers; and it often happens, that if a Lie be believ’d only for an Hour, it has done its Work, and there is no farther occasion for it. Falsehood flies, and the Truth comes limping after it; so that when Men come to be undeceiv’d, it is too late; the Jest is over, and the Tale has had its Effect…”

        – Jonathan Swift. writing to ‘The Examiner’. 1710.

    • Ninja0980

      Too bad it won’t matter at this point, the lie is already out there.

    • BobSF_94117

      And fuck Donna Brazile.

  • KnownDonorDad

    Wonder if he’s a fan of Martin Ssempa, who has a secret career as a reggae singer.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXqajlWBcJc

    • Halou

      “A man’s anus is licked…

      …like this.”

  • fastlanestranger

    Lion stumbles across VHS copy of “The Other Side of Aspen” and his life is changed forever.

    • ByronK

      Or Hot, Hard and Hairy No. 3. “Non-stop man-eating action!”

      • Treant

        …go on…

        • ByronK

          See, we all have a talent for making something…soap, imaginary porn…

          • Bad Tom

            Great JMG comments…

      • Girlgoon

        That’s gold ! You are so damn funny !

    • Spray on abs

      It worked for me.

  • CanuckDon

    “You can’t hide those lion eyes…”

    • D. Gray

      “Leader of the pack”

  • misterjack

    What kind of “Doctor” is this freak?

    • David Walker

      PhD in movie censorship and moral leadership. It’s a “take it from home” course offered by “Liberty” “University.”

    • ByronK

      An African Bitch Doctor. And a whiny little one at that.

      • misterjack

        HA!

  • teedofftaxpayer

    Just another dumbshit right winger who has his head up his ass. What else is new? Isn’t Michelle Bachmann over in that neck of the woods right now?

  • JAKvirginia

    Then cut off their PornHub accounts! Parental controls anyone?

  • Friday

    It’s nice to know that the up-and-coming continent of Africa is advancing so quickly into modern combinations of batshit lunacy and abject stupidity and nonsense.

    • Librarykid

      but not without the help of religion which is like a box mix of microwavable evil for doing the process extra quickly.

      • Friday

        Between Christianists and Islamists they’re being colonized all over again, and the innocent suffer there, as does their future.

        • Librarykid

          Amen, you should pardon the expression.

  • MikeBx2

    He and Trump could be good friends. They seem to be on the same intellectual level.

    • Galvestonian

      …is that because he’s a ‘lion motherfucker’ too ?

  • Natty Enquirer

    What a ridiculous child.

  • Wynter Marie Starr

    LOL, right because when lions observe humans, they are observing behavior and not a meal.

    • When you go on Safari (photo of course) you are constantly reminded that you are an OFO- an “Opportunistic Feeding Opportunity”. I went to Shamwari Game Reserve in South Africa (amazing experience — the Born Free facility is there) and they make you sign a release recognizing that you are this, literally, before they drive you around to see all the critters.

      • Wynter Marie Starr

        Makes sense to me. Animals eying a meal when we are encroaching on their space is just what they do. Those that shoot them with guns have an unfair advantage and it isn’t like they are going to eat the meat.

        That trip sound amazing, however. I envy you the experience.

  • GanymedeRenard
  • Barry William Teske

    We learn lot of things from watching TV.
    I just can’t see these two, pictured, as being allowed to understand the consequences of remote control.
    Oh my bad…
    I was thinking about trophy hunting and the price we all pay.
    Perhaps Mr Mutua has some experience.

  • Is this pre or post coitus? Because the expression on the bottom’s face would be much different if it was during.

  • Lars Littlefield

    “Dr.” Ezekiel Mutua? Doctor of what? Bald face ignorance and stupidity?

    • BobSF_94117

      PhD in grift.

    • GanymedeRenard

      With a major in prejudice and fanaticism.

  • Stephen Elliot Phillips
    • Bad Tom

      She’s on top.
      Just sayin’.

  • Barry William Teske

    Does the good Doctor accept donations?

  • ErikDC

    We should name them Sean and Cody.

    • andrew

      Or maybe Corbin and Fisher.

      • Kruhn

        Or Antonio and Biaggi, or Kristen and Bjorn.

  • cleos_mom

    The comic possibilities are so multitudinous I just can’t even.

  • JWC

    Bat shit crazy is worldwide

  • Tempus Fuggit

    Perhaps this ignoramus can hire that ignoramus as a consultant—he’s probably got 20 or 30 PhDs by now.

  • Bad Tom

    OR, HOMOSEXUALITY MIGHT BE COMPLETELY NORMAL,
    BECAUSE WE OBSERVE IT IN THE WILD!

    Jesus, these people are dense.
    ——-
    I want to watch while he counsels these lions.

    • Talisman

      I hope he tries to put electrodes on the bottom lion’s genitalia.

      • Bad Tom

        Plus livecasts an instructional video.

    • Fritz Keppler

      Hope the lions eat him.

  • mark99k

    Had to stop reading after the phrase “moral leader and censor” because I choked on my beer.

  • geoffalnutt

    Here’s a sure-fire way. Get real close, scream and yell, wave your arms, poke them with sticks. Soon it will all be over…and so will you…be all over. Things will be better. Really. It’s true. Seriously.

  • ClevelandJim

    how can anyone take these embarrassingly ignorant “officials” with any sense of seriousness? how can an entire country be THAT backward?

  • Max_1

    The tongue hanging out says it all…
    … “I’m enjoying this, suck it!”

  • Silver Badger

    Those poor lions. If they are spotted, their lives are over.

  • fuzzybits

    I just hope someone is watching out for these beautiful creatures. Him,I don’t give a shit about his crazy ass.

  • Steverino

    Hmmm… Reminds me of that iconic graphite-on-paper poster in the Lion Pub in San Francisco back in the day, except the bottom was a man. Maybe witnessing this is where the artist got his inspiration…

  • That’s not it. The lions were watching some old Judy Garland movie and got the idea from cinema. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2b31ce590d9b507c79a56927f679de66ef9ffdba343a4fb30b63445aec6dd4d8.gif

    • coram nobis

      And you even will have lions cross-dressing.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jtie6r27JeU

    • another_steve

      Love to you, Eddi. The children reading here don’t understand “Wizard of Oz” iconography, but you and I do.

      If you were a fairy growing up in the 1950s, you understood “The Wizard of Oz.”

      • Yes, the youngins are not familiar with the movie. That GIF is from “the Jitterbug”, a deleted scene from the movie. Original filmed footage is missing (that is a home movie) but a recording remains.

        • another_steve

          Only known homosexuals like you and me, Eddi, know from the deleted scenes.

  • JCF

    I got nuthin’. The stoopid, it BURNS!

    • AmeriCanadian

      Or rather the stupid should be burned. Call it a spiritual cleansing and they’ll step right up to volunteer.

  • Talisman
  • Dayglo
  • Bryan

    (Don’t answer) What hellhole gave this moron his doctorate?

    • Furface

      Cracker Jack from a cargo cult?

  • GayOldLady

    Damn, now we’re being blamed for the mating habits of lions? Ok, who’s been having gay sex, in the jungle, while lions were watching?

    • D. Gray

      bonobos

    • andrew

      I hope it wasn’t Tarzan and one of his gorilla friends. Poor Jane left up in that tree house all alone.

      • Girlgoon

        That’s how Aids started, Tarzan had sex with a gorilla.

    • Kruhn

      It’s the savannah, but point taken.

  • Dayglo
  • andrew

    As with humans, homosexual behavior is quite common among animals. I love the moronic comment that it may be demonic. Maybe the talking snake of the Garden of Eden survived Noah’s flood and is influencing these lions to commit sin. They will not enter into the Lion Kingdom of Heaven.

  • rednekokie

    I wonder if this absolute idiot ever considered that the lions developed naturally!!

    • Ann Kah

      But they can “change” through counseling, although only if they really, really want to. I haven’t figured out who is going to do the counseling. I suppose it’ll be done with sign language and heterosexual sex demonstrations.

  • coram nobis

    Surrender Dorothy — the Lion can’t save you.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARTIYF7w07Q

  • dafs

    Hey, if he wants to put himself between two horny lions, that’s up to him.

  • katkelly57

    Call Jack Hanna and Dr. Ruth….they’ll fix it for ya.

  • David

    Now this is one of the stupidest fucking things i’ve heard in my entire life.

    • Ann Kah

      You read my mind.

  • leastyebejudged

    Hey, if the lions wanna watch, who am I to stop ’em ?

  • Ann Kah

    Correct me if this is wrong, but don’t the top lions mate with a “harem” of females? I’d think that leaves a lot of the males out in the jungle with no females in sight, and are thus just making do with what they have.

  • Riiiight. Lions don’t have an instinct for sex, they look to humans to learn how to do it

    Sure.

    Somebody up this idiot’s anti-psychosis meds stat.

  • SDG

    Are these the same folks that burn Albinos as witches?

  • Manny Espinola

    I need to see cartoon strips of this several hours from now.

  • Pat

    Ezekiel Mutua was dropped on his head as a child.

  • SFHarry

    Send him out in the wild to counsel the lions…. see what happens!

  • J Ascher

    So this is what they call a pride of lions? ;>)

  • tasteless chap

    Who the hell is brave enough to have (gay) sex in front of lions?! Methinks Dr. Mutha suffers from Anti-gay Derangement Syndrome…And probably doth protest too much.

  • netxtown

    well hell. boyz will be boyz….but am wondering which one will roar about sexual harassment…..

  • (((GC)))

    SPAM SCAM SPAM SCAM SPAM SCAM SPAM
    SCAM SPAM SCAM SPAM SCAM SPAM SCAM
    SPAM SCAM SPAM SCAM SPAM SCAM SPAM

    Flagged and reported.

  • Rebecca Gardner
  • Galvestonian

    I think that Pat Robertson would be a perfect counselor for these two lions – let them fast to prepare them for the wholesome talk that would certainly ensue. I’m sure that Reverend Robertson would be welcomed most heartily by those big cats.

  • canoebum

    I take some comfort in knowing the US has not yet cornered the market on idiocy.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    No

  • Ron Robertson

    I think every single fucking time one of these blowhards makes this type of assertion, it should be met, over and over, with a jeering “prove it.”

    • LeeCMH

      I wouldn’t go that far. Their assertions should be met with resounding laughter. And pejorative humor.

  • Macbill

    No use being stupid unless you can show it.

  • Gianni

    He should do the counseling. Just march right up to them and be firm in teaching them how nature intended for animals to act. Bring the salt, you’ll taste better to them.

  • IDavid

    I’d like to be there to watch the lions perform ex-human therapy?

  • Eddie Besketti

    I agree with this. I think it is an excellent idea to send all ex-gay therapist to the cure the lions.

  • David Reid

    I love the cute little tongue sticking out of the bottom lion.

  • Gene Perry

    “Some research needs to be done” … understatement!

  • Paul T Sjordal

    Joe, I just want to thank you for the blog. Thanks for making me laugh, making me outraged, and keeping me informed all these years.