Rick Perry: Fossil Fuels Help Prevent Sexual Assaults Because It’s Easier To Rape Somebody In The Dark

NBC News reports:

Fossil fuels can help prevent sexual assault, Energy Secretary Rick Perry said Thursday. Perry described his belief at an energy policy event in Washington hosted by Axios and NBC News, while talking about how bringing power to African villages would save lives.

“But also from the standpoint of sexual assault, when the lights are on, when you have light that shines, the righteousness, if you will, on those types of acts,” Perry said. “So from the standpoint of how you really affect people’s lives, fossil fuels is going to play a role in that. I happen to think it’s going to play a positive role.”

  • Boreal

    Shit, I better throw out all of my solar lanterns.

  • AW

    His arm must have fallen off from that huge of a reach. Seriously, this is deranged.

    • kaydenpat

      Rightwing logic at its best.

  • Secure

    Holy shit he’s ridiculous.

    • kaydenpat

      And sadly doesn’t know it.

    • Frank McCormick

      Aren’t you glad that Texas has decided to share his wisdom with the rest of the country?

  • kirtanloorii

    I’m tempted to throw myself out the window, but alas, I live on the first floor.

  • teeveedub

    It’s amazing to me how willing Rick Perry always is to demonstrate his complete stupidity and ignorance.

  • JWC

    This guy is dummer thsan a bag of Hammers and can’t dance worth shit

  • Tawreos

    Does he know it is hard to rape someone in the dark from experience?

    • kaydenpat

      Oh dear.

    • Todd Allis

      I think he might qualify as an expert witness on that, if anything.

  • Rebecca Gardner

    Not even The Onion could come up with a story like this. Our reality is so fucking fucked up!!!!!!!!!!!!! How do we make the stupid stop??????????

    • kaydenpat

      Mueller? Flip Congress? I don’t want to say win in 2020 because that’s such a long way away.

    • The_Wretched

      The gas and oil sector is just that un-aligned from reality.

    • ColdCountry

      Drink more. It doesn’t make it stop, but you don’t notice as much.

    • Vista-Cruiser

      1. Vote in every single race in every single election.
      2. Volunteer on a Democratic campaign.

  • Ray Page

    My neighbor: “Rick Perry? Now there is one dumb cracker!”

    • m_lp_ql_m

      Poor thumbtack.

  • crewman

    Don’t listen to his words. Just look at his glasses. He’s smart.

    • kaydenpat

      In respect to this administration, he’s a dang genius.

    • David Walker

      You mean he’s “like a smart person” too? Wow. More genii in the fucking moron’s administration than I thought.

  • Leo

    Rick needs to be put in a asylum. We knew this, news at 11, yawn, next.

  • ceeenbee

    The shitgibbon has the only cabinet in history that lists “brain stem function” as the only requirement for filling a position. How else could perry have been appointed?

  • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

    Moran

  • Jmdintpa

    Lawd ham mercy

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    It is a fight to the finish to claim the title of ‘dumbest fuck’ in this administration.

    • Tawreos

      None of them will unseat the champ in the Oval Office.

    • ChrisInKansas

      Perry: 1
      Trump: Way too many to count.

      But I have faith in Perry.

    • kaydenpat

      They’ll have to share that title. Too many of them to rank.

      • clay

        too many of them are rank

      • netxtown

        let’s see. there’s the
        silver dumbest fuck
        gold dumbest fuck
        platinum dumbest fuck
        sapphire dumbest fuck
        diamond dumbest fuck
        ultimate dumbest fuck
        new and improved dumbest fuck
        …..

    • Todd20036

      It’s almost as if Perry knows he’s dumber than dirt, but needs to try to act like he’s intelligent enough for the job.
      And he’s failing miserably

      • Nowhereman

        He should just furrow his brow, look over the top of his smart glasses, and work on pretending to be the strong silent type. I really do wonder what an idiot like Perry does all day in his office.

    • Janice

      O M F’n G ! This Perry dude really is the village idiot!

      • Nowhereman

        And he’s in charge of our nuclear programs, both civilian and military. OOPS! He’s also #14 in the line of succession.

    • Richie Kau

      The league of idiots.

    • gothambear

      It must be the Texas thing – sounds exactly like something W would have blurted out…(with apologies to JMG readers from TX)

      • Nowhereman

        I doubt they’d be offended. And isn’t it scary when Shrub looks like an actual statesmen in comparison to our current so-called president?

  • JoeMyGod
    • kaydenpat

      Yee haw!!

    • Paula

      Is that from his yell leader days?

      • Dazzer

        Given the Russia probe, it’s probably from his time on Dancing with the Tsars

      • clay

        I thought that was Bush43’s “sport”?

        • Droz

          Nah, that’s called AWOL.

      • netxtown

        same dance he did when he found out, at 17, he had the biggest dick in all of the third grade…..

    • Dagoril

      Oh, dear.

    • FAEN

      Dance gurl, dance!

      • clay

        (“prance”)

    • MT YVR

      Did… did he get lockjaw from those “corndogs”? I mean… I thought he’d be a professional by now and do exercises to stop that…

      I mean really. The jaw doesn’t MOVE. (fascinatedly frightened)

  • PickyPecker
    • Todd20036

      Pretty much says it all

  • Tatonka

    Clever as usual, Mr. Perry, but you’ve overlooked one critical detail. It is much, much easier to hide from rapists in the dark.

    I must say, you seem a little TOO eager to provide rapists with this obvious advantage.

  • TexasBoy

    Rick, Hon, regardless of what you were told, the glasses don’t make you smarter.

    • Ben in Oakland

      Beat you to it, right below yours.

  • Ben in Oakland

    Glasses don’t even make Perry APPEAR to be smart.

    • Tawreos

      To be honest they do, the problem is he keeps opening his mouth and proving that appearances are deceiving.

      • Ben in Oakland

        Nah. As long as I know its Rick Perry, I can’t even begin to consider smartitude.

  • KevInPDX

    His kinda stoooopid is bone deep!

  • Harveyrabbit

    Fucking idiot. However a glass full of gasoline the face of a rapist would be very effective.

  • bkmn
  • Boreal
  • JoeMyGod
    • Tread

      We know where he learned that technique.

    • Natty Enquirer

      Sometimes a corndog is just a corndog.

      • clay

        poor Rick; he ain’t never gonna get any reward out of it even having licked the breading clean off.

      • April

        Don’t be hating on those corn dogs. So yummy dipped in yellow mustard.

        Mmmmmm…

    • Bob Conti

      Wait, isn’t this the same effect they used in Clutch Cargo?

      • ben-andy

        And his pals, Skinner and Paddlefoot.

      • jaybird100

        Maybe he thinks licking like that will make it bigger!

    • Hmm, pinker tip, uncircumcised corn dog?

      • FAEN

        HA!

        • With the brown skin it may even be Mexican!

          • Dubito et cogitare

            That Wall has a gloryhole in it…

      • gothambear

        hopefully hiding lots of smegma

    • FAEN

      He’s done that plenty of times I’m sure.

    • Tawreos

      Licking it will just make it think you are intimidated by it Rick. Take it all the way to the base and it will know you mean business, then you can do your little licking thing there.

    • Jeffrey

      No! No no no no. 😂

    • MT YVR

      I think the corndog threw up a little in Rick’s mouth…

    • Osowoofy

      My what big hands you have, Rick. All the better to grab that pinga, Gurl!

    • Matt

      He probably learned from that New Orleans businessman an independent Austin paper reported he’d become friendly with in years past.

  • Tawdry D’Tails

    Wouldn’t chopping off dicks slow things down a bit too?

  • Leo

    OT. If Gillespie wins everyone and their grandmother on here’s gonna blame Northam’s recent anti-sanctuary reaffirmation keeping progressives home as opposed to what should get MORE blame which is Gillespie’s campaign almost now run ENTIRELY on race getting more rural WWC voters to turn-out. I’ll just sit back and shake my head when (no so much if, would love to be proven wrong) that happens.

    • The_Wretched

      Huh? If the republican wins, it’ll be progressives fault? that’s 1. highly reductionist 2. blames voters for a candidates loss (ignoring the role of the candidate and the system). Dems will lose elections and TRUMP will get a 2nd term if dems cannot take responsibility for their candidates and if the dems cannot get the voting system fixed (’cause the voters have zippo control on either).

      • Leo

        I’m saying progressives will blame a Gillespie win on lower turn-out of Northam voters because of his policy affirmation on no sanctuary cities when it likely won’t be that simple.

        McAuliffe won on moderates because Cuccinelli was seen as too far right.

    • Gustav2

      Isn’t the whole ‘sanctuary city’ thing against Virginian law? So affirming the law is bad?

      • Leo

        He affirmed he’s not putting sanctuary cities into Virginia in response to a reporter’s question.

    • PickyPecker

      Fun Fact: Virginia has no sanctuary cities.

    • Blake J Butler

      I’m not pessimistic Andy, but I’d youve been following his polls and his support base he has a full on crowd of people at his events, I would call an excited base.

      And with polls he is leading with unified support from democrats, leading with independents, and voters of color.

      I think we need to realize that Northam is not going down without a fight and is fighting back with the criticism Gillespie throws at him.

    • stuckinthewoods

      It’s not over yet.
      a Suffolk U poll, tied in September is now +4 Northam. http://bluevirginia.us/2017/11/suffolk-u-poll-northam-47-gillespie-43-was-tied-in-september

  • Mike C

    Great appointment. Can we get Elmer Fishpaw to run the FCC?

  • Lizard

    Not quite as bad as Akin’s “legitimate rape,” but pretty close.

  • bkmn
  • Boreal
  • Natty Enquirer

    PR lady said “Be more relevant.”

  • Jefe5084

    So…..coal is a another righteous christain diety of some sort, now? ooooooo. Well, why not?

  • Adam Stevens

    In a later interview, Perry announced his plan to provide 1 lightbulb to all American women for personal protection from their men.

  • unclemike

    OH FER FUCK’S SAKE.

  • Bambino

    I think the fucking moron administration is holding a race towards human extinction contest. We won’t be here to see who is the champion.

  • Slippy_World
    • clay

      Yes, we do.
      What does that have to do with PRick erry?

  • PickyPecker

    My Rick Perry chia head is really coming along nicely.
    http://reaganpluscats.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Rick-Perry-Chia.jpg

    • Natty Enquirer

      Probably has more sentience by now.

    • Tawreos

      It provides oxygen so it is way more useful than the real thing.

    • Gregory B

      It needs a smart pair of glasses.

      • Adam King

        Probably not a good idea–it might start talking.

    • kaydenpat

      Please burn it with fire. You don’t want to look at that every single day.

      • FAEN

        Or nuke it from orbit-it’s the only way to be sure 😏.

    • Rex

      Odds are it’s 10 times smarter than Perry himself.

    • FAEN

      It’s sad that the chia head seems to have more going on between the ears than the actual Rick Perry.

  • Judas Peckerwood

    All those fossil fuels didn’t stop your mama from dropping you on your head as a baby.

  • Tread

    Jesus. Fucking. Christ. On. A. Cracker.

  • Gregory B
    • Lizard

      “All Huns are useful, if only to serve as a bad example.”

      • David Walker

        “Everyone graces this room. Some by entering it; others by leaving it.”

  • No More GOP.

    My eyes almost rolled all the way out of their sockets for that one. It’s so incredibly infuriating that our sociopoitical system encourages and rewards fuckwits like him.

  • Boreal
  • Boreal
    • Lizard

      “Qualifications: ‘Uh…I forgot the third thing'”

    • FAEN

      That says it all about this ‘administration’.

    • Rex

      Qualifications: Has a pair of glasses.

      • Boreal

        Pretty much.

      • clay

        I fully expect him to scratch his eyelid though the empty frames very soon.

    • JackFknTwist

      Has Perry no shame ?
      How does the Village Idiot stand up in public and lick his own arse while farting ?

  • Bluto
    • TrueWords

      always this….

    • Karl Dubhe

      Which flavour is the square root of purple?

      • BJORN RAGNVALDR

        Kiwi. Jeeesh, low information commenters….

        /S

        • Karl Dubhe

          Drat. I thought it was orangutan.

      • Steve Alcock

        11teen?

  • dbishop75

    I mean, I get his point – even if it sounded like it came from my ignorant redneck father. But there are other and better means of electricity. Perry just needs to take his head out of his ass and realize that. Seriously, wtf will these people do in like 50 years when all our fossil fuels are used up? Pray? smdh

    • Gustav2

      There is always burning heretics for fuel.

      • dbishop75

        Oh great, another burnt body to my family’s history. ugh….

    • Lizard

      “Seriously, wtf will these people do in like 50 years when all our fossil fuels are used up?”

      They don’t care. They’ll be dead by then.

  • DesertSun59

    If you made this up and 45 weren’t in office, no one would believe this could have been uttered from a gov’t appointee.

  • thrunch

    So Roger Ailes, Weinstein, and O’Reilly only did their harassment in the dark?!

    • ByronK

      Yes, all those women having meetings with Harvey would have been fine if they’d been packing a flashlight. How the fuck do these idiots end up in public office?!!!

  • Gretchen

    Someone skipped the unit on cause and effect every fucking year in school.

    • clay

      He’s a Fundamentalist because metaphors and symbols are beyond his capacity.

  • kaydenpat
  • Rex

    Yeah, cuz no one has ever committed rape during the daytime or with the lights on.

    • clay

      They can’t– that’s when Jesus is on patrol! /s

  • liondon#iamnotatraitor

    There really are 2 Americas now… ones that watch the news and ones that listen FUX and Fiends.

    • clay

      Don’t worry, there are also those who only read their Facebook.

  • Bryan

    “The righteousness”?

  • Avenger280

    He’s so goddamn stupid he makes my brain hurt

    • Max_1

      Perry is so stupid…
      (how stupid is he…)
      … Perry is so stupid, his brain would hurt too, if he had one.

  • justmeeeee

    Too bad we can’t use metaphorical fossils for our metaphorical light.

  • Rex

    Can you imagine waking up every day and being this stupid?

    • clay

      I visit my institutionalized uncle twice a month, so, sort of.
      What I can’t imagine is how much power others are willing to give to PRick erry.

    • Kelly Lape

      I suppose it would be wonderful being too stupid to know how dumb you are. Why you could even believe you’re a genius and capable of running the Dept. of Energy. Blissfully ignorant has its benefits.

  • AlternativeQuacks

    Imagine what he would say if he wasn’t wearing the “smart glasses.”

  • greenmanTN

    Then how come I’m sitting here in broad daylight and he just fucked me in the brain with this BS without my consent, huh?

    • Kelly Lape

      Look at the way you’re dressed… you were asking for it. 😀

  • Girlgoon

    Most incredible mental gymnast the GOP team has. 9.5- 9.0- 9.3- 9.8- 9.1

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Perry is not only not smarter than a fifth grader, he’s not even smarter than a road grader.

  • Cuberly Deux

    Perry the ignorant dipshit, meanwhile another nutjob is being considered for the Global Women’s Issues ambassador. Penny (chompers) Nance.

    Another white nationalist evangelical homophobe.

    “Trump women’s ambassador pick says ‘Frozen’ is anti-men”

    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/11/trump-womens-ambassador-pick-says-frozen-is-anti-men/

    • KnownDonorDad

      You’ve got to be kidding me. It’s almost like we elected Pence.

      • Cuberly Deux

        I’d venture to say Nance is worse, and that’s saying something.

    • AdamTh

      Fuck…..

      What is Sarah Palin going to be ambassador to/of ????

      • ByronK

        She wants a posting overseas – some place like Hawaii.

        • Boreal

          Or Puerto Rico.

          • coram nobis

            Pitcairn Island. Either that, or our consulate in Ushuaia, Argentina.

      • Cuberly Deux

        Narnia?

        • ColdCountry

          Oh, hell no! They have standards that wouldn’t even let her cross the border.

          • Vista-Cruiser

            No, that’s Sarnia.

          • ColdCountry

            Even Nambia has more class.

  • greenmanTN
    • Tread

      Which movie?

      • greenmanTN

        Postcards From The Edge

  • Ninja0980

    And yet folks in Texas voted for this idiot again and again.

    • How’s that old saying go about folks getting the government they deserve?

  • another_steve

    I just received a tweet from Zeus. It reads as follows:

    “Americans, you are fucked as a nation.”

  • Eric Lewis

    We are doomed & I’m going to die single. Ugh.

  • Dagoril

    I would call him the stupidest fucking person on the planet, but this last year there’s just been so much competition for the title…

  • Waarki
  • FAEN

    Dude-you like your boss are a fucking moron!

  • Publius

    If we could just go ahead and not make sexual assault analogies, that would be great, Rick.

  • coram nobis

    A bit early in the day for him to be plastered, ain’t it?

  • Cuberly Deux

    Wow, trump is fellating lyin Ryan.

    They simultaneously spin the tax cuts as an emergency must have to rescue the middle class and create jobs…..as donnie gloats about how the economy and stock market are going like gang buster.

    And donnie’s minions will just follow along, no f’d up hypocritical shenanigans there…nope.

    “You’ll fill our your taxes ON A POSTCARD!” (eyeroll)

    • Boreal

      Yay! The honor system for the 1%. The rest of us will get audited.

  • I’m going conspiratorial on this one. Trump needed a day off from all of the news on the Russia Probe, so he called Rick Perry and was like “say the dumbest thing you can think of.” And Perry hit it out of the park.

    I know that’s not true, but I need to believe it, in order to keep the remaining shards of my sanity.

    • Tawreos

      It is helping to distract from Trump so I don’t think it is that far fetched.

      • Incidental “benefit” from hiring a complete fucking moron? Perhaps the administration is “skilled” enough to pull something like that off. But quite frankly I don’t trust the lot with a pair of safety scissors.

  • zherazhera

    Does he think that solar panels only give power in the daytime?
    When your argument for fossil fuels is that it prevents sexual assault, you’ve already lost the debate.

  • Lazycrockett

    Glasses can only do so much.

    • clay

      but they focus the light of righteousness!

      There must be a Rev. Steve Newlin clip from “True Blood” that’s appropriate to this.

  • Adam King

    I spent a good part of my career assisting people with disabilities in finding and maintaining employment. I don’t think I could have done much for this one.

  • rextrek

    a Good 3rd of this country is chock full of ASSHOLES – …maybe its time America needs an Asteroid Douche, or Yellow stone to Blow – and teach this god dammed stupid nation a lesson

    • The_Wretched

      So much rage. Are you still a rat in a cage?

      • rextrek

        not rage – tired of the BS…….things never seems to change for the better – and if they do – its always 2 steps back……the rightwing freaks….ruin everything decent in this country

    • Jerry Kott

      True and the majority get their news from Facebook. I wonder if there is any chance to get back on track. We are so dumbed down it is scary.

  • Lazycrockett

    Now Sessions remembers knowing who Papa was.

    • Tread

      Where are you seeing this? Sessions is well and truly fucked.

  • Henry Auvil

    Please tell me Perry got his degree from Trump University. There’s no other explanation for this level of stupid.

  • Boreal
  • Sam_Handwich
    • David Walker

      ‘Tis a pity he must be confined in such a dump.

  • FelineMama

    perry, put down the crack pipe. You don’t know who used it b4 you.

  • infmom

    Clearly showing the effects of having a gas pump nozzle up his butt.

  • Tomcat

    So I guess a knife to a woman’s throat will not cut in the dark and a rapist would have no idea where to find her private parts, REICH.

  • StillALiberal

    Is he really that stupid ?…..Oh Wait…It’s Rick Perry….sorry for asking.

  • Elsewhere1010

    He’s the Grand Canyon of stupid.

    You can’t actually comprehend the enormity of it; all you can do is stand back and admire its vastness.

    • Tread

      Olympus Mons of Idiocy.

      • coram nobis

        The Mindanao Deep of obtuse.

        • LeeCMH

          Okay, the Abyss of Ignorance.

  • RoFaWh

    He’s nuts.

  • Jonathan Smith
  • coram nobis

    Also in Today’s Official Stupidity & World Report: “EPA chief Scott Pruitt cites Bible in ending way committees staffed”. So Rick Perry has some competition today.

    http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Energy-202-EPA-chief-Scott-Pruitt-cites-Bible-in-12322889.php

    THE SSTUPID!! IT BURNSSS US, PRECIOUS!

  • Marides48

    Confirmed, Perry is dumber compared to tRumps Dumb.

  • coram nobis

    Also in today’s energy news: House GOP is axing the tax credit for electric cars.

    http://www.sfgate.com/business/article/Tax-Credit-for-Electric-Cars-Said-to-Be-Axed-in-12326732.php

    Way to kill an entire industry, bozos.

    “That will stop any electric vehicle market in the U.S., apart from sales of the highly expensive Tesla Model S,” said Xavier Mosquet, senior partner at consultant Boston Consulting Group, who authored a study on the growth of battery powered vehicles. “There’s no Tesla 3, no Bolt, no Leaf in a market without incentives.”

    • LeeCMH

      Of course, the GOP plan. Keep the oil boys rich. That’s where their investments are.

      • ohbear1957

        Russian oil exports….

    • djcoastermark

      Isn’t that their goal?

  • Bj Lincoln

    Ask any woman who has been assaulted and she can tell you for a FACT it doesn’t matter if the lights are on or not. Perry is as much of a f**king moron as Drumpf.

    • AmeriCanadian

      Well you have Pence who admits he can not be in a room alone with another woman and you have Perry who believes that women can’t be raped with the lights on. Combined with Drumpf, who feels he has personal license to grab ’em by the p*ssy, you get a well-rounded christo-conservative best of the best.

  • Gene Perry

    are you fucking serious! can’t rape in the dark? asshole
    (btw: no relation!)

  • coram nobis

    Rick can see clearly now his brain is gone,
    Rick can see all popsicles in his way …

    • LeeCMH

      You’re in a humorous mood today.

      • coram nobis

        It’s a most ridiculous day.

        • LeeCMH

          I am learning to laugh at this ridiculousness as well.

          .

  • tim870

    Has he been inhaling fossil fuels?

  • Ham
  • jimbo65

    This idiot is so long past due his rent boy scandal

  • octobercountry

    Rick, those glasses do NOT make you look more intelligent.

    • djcoastermark

      I was going to say, “rick, quit making those glasses look stupid”.

  • fuzzybits

    Just when you think it can’t get any more crazy or sad.

    • LeeCMH

      That is why I am learning to just make some puns and some pejorative humor.

      It is crazy and sad, but also can be seen in comedic light.

      After-all, this crap is so ridiculous, humor really is the best response.

      Much easier on the nerves.

  • geoffalnutt

    I didn’t think it possible, but the glasses have made it WORSE.

  • superindy

    Oh My God

  • Halou

    Or, y’know… You could just fund rational public education.

    https://twitter.com/lexi4prez/status/923578053971927040

  • Friday

    Why choose between raving lunacy and abject stupidity when you can have both?

  • JAKvirginia

    Whenever you stumble upon a WTF moment in politics, keep calm and follow the money. Perry is neither stupid or insane. He’s greedy and will say or do whatever to get the bucks.

    • thatotherjean

      I don’t know–Rick really is pretty damned dumb.

  • Tom Mears

    See. All you loosers were skeptics. You called Ricky names like dummy and retard. This is why Donny picked him to be in the cabinet.

  • edrex

    dude. just because your wife will only have sex with you in the dark, it doesn’t follow that rape only happens with the lights on.

  • JCF
    • motordog

      When I consider there might possibly be an upper age limit to who I think is sexy…I remember men like Sam Elliott! Woof!

  • Michael C.

    WTF did I just read?

  • Kettle_Meatpot

    But those nerd glasses make him look so darn smart. Until he speaks.

    • FelineMama

      I gotta get some of those. I don’t talk, out loud, much.

  • LeeCMH

    Perhaps Rick is not that ignorant. He’s just depending on this supporters to be that ignorant.

    • FelineMama

      It’s kinda like the Moron in Chief’s MO.

      • LeeCMH

        Yep.

  • William

    How does Rick Perry remember to breathe?

    • Bomer

      He wears an ear piece that plays “breathe in, breathe out” on repeat.

  • LeeCMH

    Here’s one of candidate Perry’s finer moments:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoNzwJGkM8s&ab_channel=TheTelegraph

  • Vinnie NYC

    Um, I just can’t. No words. Thanks for the flashbacks Perry.

  • Friday’s_cat

    Uhhh Rick? The path I take when I walk Bailey ← was lit with gas lamps. Now they have solar powered fixtures atop the poles. I think you need a renewable resource to power your brain. How about a modified propeller beanie?

  • canoebum

    At this point why not just sell Texas back to Mexico? We don’t need it and it’s brought us little but misery. We’ll put them on an easy payment plan, a “we tote the note” deal they can’t resist. In order to protect the buyer, we’ll empty out all the guns and ammo before we turn it over.

    • Friday’s_cat

      Can we throw Oklahoma in as a bonus. The price can be a wall that follows the Texas and Oklahoma state borders.

      • canoebum

        Maybe it would be better to cut off the Texas Panhandle, add that part to the funny west end of Oklahoma, and turn the state into a sanctuary for the rational people who want to get out before the handover. Extreme vetting will apply, it goes without saying. They have to be able to pick out Molly Ivins from a set of photos, tell an Ann Richards political joke and sing at least one Janice Joplin song, start to finish.

  • motordog
  • Richard B

    Surprise, Rick Perry is every bit as stupid as we all feared.

  • mikeinftl

    What a fucking moron.

  • Kevin Andrews

    This is graphic display of “willful ignorance” and Purchased Meat-Puppet.
    The intent is the destruction of the EPA and each of the departments the Shitgibbon sabotaged with incompetent mythologists as the standard. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6304db1b1db9234c7f2c616a6a1e804f4d727f228551841676b37cf8bcf00135.png

  • JaniceInToronto

    Is he mentally incompetent or just stupid?

    These guys are in a race to the bottom, and the bottom just keeps getting deeper and deeper.

    • Gianni

      Each one takes a turn at digging the hole deeper to be the winner.

    • Bomer

      Incompetent or just stupid? I’m gonna have to go with both.

      • Gianni

        It’s a safe bet!

  • justme

    …and this was the Governor of the state of confusion… I mean Texass…

  • Beto

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  • narutomania

    JUST when you thought that these morons couldn’t get any more stupid, one of them (or more!) prove you wrong!!!

  • rednekokie

    I wonder if that’s what he tells his boy friend.

  • Matt

    Has anyone else noticed that Perry seems to have actually become MORE stupid since he started wearing the glasses? Yes, he was no genius before, but holy crap. That’s a LOT of stupid in one person. No wonder trump appointed him to whatever he was least qualified to do.

    • Gianni

      Just what is his job in this admin?

      • JAKvirginia

        Comic relief?

        • Gianni

          Donnie made a good choice for once.

      • thatotherjean

        Energy Secretary. Guess who’s in charge of the nukes?

    • Pip

      He’s huffing all of that natural gas.

  • DaveMiller135

    Maybe the air pollution would make it hard for them to have the stamina to rape anybody.

  • JAKvirginia

    If fossil fuels are light, why are coal mines so dark? Ponder that one, Rick.

  • kladinvt

    And like Palin, the glasses still don’t fool anybody into thinking this guy has a brain.

  • Fernando Leon

    I bet you Rick Perry uses fossil fuels as personal lubricant.

  • Pip
  • Wynter Marie Starr

    What. An. Asshole. Women and children get raped in the dark, in the light, indoors, outdoors, in public, in private, in schools, churches, and other religious buildings, in the street, in cars, in restaurants, in shopping centers, in parking lots, in their own homes and bed and just about any where else you could name. It’s like a joke that someone so fucking stupid was elected ever.

  • Ann Kah
  • RayEBrownSS

    No one’s explained to this dotard how solar panels work.

    Although a few gallons of well placed petrol and a match make a good deterrent to sexual assault – I’m sure that’s what he meant.

  • thatotherjean

    Poor Rick! His two working brain cells must be lonely. They keep missing each other’s calls.

    Edited to add: Disqus ate my original comment, I think. Apologies if this shows up twice.

  • Cuberly Deux

    OT: But sorta on topic. The GOP tax plan axes electric vehicle credit.

    “Republican tax plan kills electric vehicle credit”

    https://arstechnica.com/cars/2017/11/republican-tax-plan-kills-electric-vehicle-credit/

    What’s interesting is development of hybrid and electric vehicles is booming. A friend of mine bought a Chevy Volt and they LOVE it. While it may be on the higher end of purchasing a vehicle, it’s been a growing niche.

  • Grumpy Old Man
  • Hamoverfist

    Glasses can make you appear smarter but that is only if you can actually read.

  • pgarayt

    They can dress and feed themselves and some how this is enough to ignore the dangerous disconnect from reality. In other words, their NUTS!

  • Nowhereman

    Because electricity generated by hydro, solar or wind is just not up to the task? This man is number 14 in the line of succession. Ben Carson is number 13.