Kid Rock Confesses Senate Bid Was A Prank

After dozens and dozens of fawning profiles across Teabagistan, today Kid Rock confesses that his Senate candidacy was a prank.

The Detroit Free Press reports:

Mocking people who took the idea seriously, Kid Rock said Tuesday morning he’s not running for U.S. Senate. “Fuck no, I’m not running for Senate. Are you kidding me?” Rock said on Howard Stern’s SiriusXM show. “Who couldn’t figure that out? I’m releasing a new album. I’m going on tour too. Are you fucking shitting me?” Rock’s new album, “Sweet Southern Sugar,” will be released Nov. 3, Stern said at the start of a wide-ranging interview that tackled Rock’s wealth, his distaste for the music business and his 2018 tour plans.

  • Gustav2

    The suburbanite’s whole career is a prank.

    • bkmn

      which is why I often refer to him as Kid Schlock

      • Todd20036

        As opposed to Kid Schock, who had a thing for Downtown Abbey

        • bkmn

          Him I call “pretty mouth”

          • VodkaAndPolitics

            Personally, I never spent much time thinking about his mouth… 🍑

    • Ninja0980

      Amazing how he, the Duck Dynasty folks etc. can fool so many people into believing they are humble, god fearing people.

      • Chucktech

        Appalling, really, the credulity of American Christendom.

        • Octoberfurst

          It’s depths of stupidity are mind-boggling.

    • Judas Peckerwood

      “Kid Rock”

      That’s two lies right there.

      • glass

        Now we can start calling him “kid prank” since he is a childish idiot.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      Upvote for saying it frist post.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      LOL Atlantic Records.

  • bkmn
  • Boreal
  • Butch

    With that kind of money, you can’t afford a hat that fits?

  • Steven B

    IOW “I wasn’t doing as well as I’d hoped & it was all harder than I thought so I’m giving up. And I’ll save face by calling it a joke like Trump does. It works for him. These people will believe anything.”

    • CanuckDon

      If ONLY Trump had backed away and said he was just joking. If only!!!

  • Lazycrockett

    I’m pretty music aware and I can’t think of a single song by him.

    • KnownDonorDad

      You’ve probably heard “Cowboy” at some point. Maybe ‘Only God Knows Why” or “Bawitdaba.”

      • ChrisInKansas

        I can tolerate Picture. That’s about it.

        • Butch

          You’ve forgotten “Balls in your Mouth?” (That’s the real title to one of his “songs.”)

      • Adam King

        I’ve never heard of any of those.

        • Lazycrockett

          Ditto. Don’t think Ill youtube to find out either.

    • Michael R

      His best song sounds like the worst John Cougar Mellancamp song ever .

      • KnownDonorDad

        This is an awesome description.

    • Pollos Hermanos

      There’s always that classic hit “Bawitdaba”

      • Misutaa Roboto

        I remember that one. The lyrics were deep and elegant and really illuminated what was going on in the mind of the songwriter.

    • DJ John Bear

      He had a “hit” with ‘All Summer Long’…
      ::: wretches :::

  • KnownDonorDad

    Did George Pataki lose his mind?

    Kid Rock is still going to be a cowboy, though, right?

    • Gustav2

      …when he grows up.

    • Tawreos

      He has wanted to be one ever since he heard

      https://youtu.be/Qt0_oPPK6eA

      • Stubenville

        Now I need a long neck to go with lunch…

      • Lazycrockett

        Didn’t one of them just die recently?

  • Tawreos

    Now it’s a joke after someone convinced him that everything he has ever said or done will be fair game and people will expect him to answer for it.

    • KnownDonorDad

      But that didn’t hurt Trump….

      • Chucktech

        “I’m the president! Can you believe it??”

  • Ernest Endevor

    So disappointing.

    • Chucktech

      Just when he was picking up momentum…

      • Adam King

        …and a brand new fungal infection…

  • Halou

    Ah, I see he found the regulations relating to public accountability. Took one look at it and thought “Fuck no, I’m not doing that!”

  • Tatonka

    If I’m easily trolled, it’s because we’re only nine months into the Trump era, and I’ve already seen things that I wouldn’t have believed in my darkest nightmares.

    • The_Wretched

      The bounds for what’s “normal” or even possible have moved to unreal territory. We wouldn’t be joking about how hard life is for The Onion otherwise.

    • Treant

      I’ve seen some things, man.

      And some stuff.

      I don’t recommend it!

      • greenmanTN

        I’ve been things and I’ve seen places…

        • Adam King

          I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain.

        • Chucktech

          I have things to be and people to do.

        • Todd20036

          I’ve done things I’m not proud of.

          Ok, I am proud of them, but I’ve done things that would make most people feel shame

          Ok, maybe not shame, but they might need a cold shower and a shot or two of penicillin.

          And maybe a video or two.

          Keep in mind, the original subject of this thread was Kid Rock, and who gives a fuck about him?

      • Jeffg166
    • Man_in_the_mists

      When Trump was elected the gates of reality shattered. Cthulu has now come to claim His due.

    • Lizard

      Right? Kid Rock can go fuck himself. The nerve! Nobody took Trump seriously when he announced as a candidate and now he’s fucking up the entire universe.

  • JAKvirginia

    I never got a Kid Rock album. Someone gave me a Pet Rock once. Same thing?

    • Adam King

      No. Pet rocks are interesting.

      • Harveyrabbit

        And much smarter.

  • Boreal
  • Stubenville

    Is The Donald next?

  • Adam King

    What a stupid, boring prank.

  • j.martindale

    Yeah, who would ever believe a TV reality show hack and no political experience would ever seriously run for political office? Oh, this wasn’t the guy?

  • Leo
    • Adam King

      Well put.

    • William

      It would be awkward to see payments from the Jeb! campaign.

      • The_Wretched

        Everyones treating the Steele Dossier like noone knows who paid for it. I clearly remember it was Jeb but that seems to have disappeared.

        • William

          Jeb disappeared as well.

  • Ninja0980

    Might have been but the fact so many were willing to vote for him just to piss off libtards (hardee har) speaks volumes.

  • Treant

    Well, that’s one level of crazy we don’t have to experience. Now we just need to defeat Moore or get him impeached.

    Giggle. Yeah, that’ll happen.

    • PickyPony

      Feeling better today? How’s the shiner?

      • Treant

        Oh, fine. I have a little bruising, and the nose is actually worse than it was yesterday due to the swelling, but I can’t say I have much discomfort. I’m wearing my glasses and perfectly functional as long as I don’t push or pull on my nose.

        Which, it turns out, when you have sinus problems, you do about 300 times a day.

  • William

    He found out being elected doesn’t put him at the top of the liver transplant list.

  • Chucktech

    Yeah, now that it’s clear you had fuck all chance of being a Senator. And you pwn’d teabaggers. That’s nice. Now fuck off.

  • Leo
    • The_Wretched

      I much rather there be R-infighting instead of that week and half of going after a family whose green beret was killed in an ambush.

    • Lazycrockett
    • Natty Enquirer

      The first brave villager has pointed out that the Emperor is naked.

      • Chucktech

        More like “The Emperor could use some accessorizing.”

        • BearEyes

          cuffs make the man.

          • Chucktech

            …and a brisk perp walk.

          • BearEyes

            More exercise than a golf cart.

      • Todd20036

        The statues were bad enough! Blech!!!!

    • Boreal

      He says he wouldn’t support trump again for preznit but neglects to say that he was a cheerleader for him in the first place.
      http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/24/politics/corker-trump-photo-op-tax-plan/index.html

    • Chucktech

      Gee, finally got a couple of cups of coffee in him? Earlier when asked if Trump was unfit and a threat to the country, it’s all “Well, mealy mouth, mealy mouth, mealy mouth, we Senators are vigilant on protecting America.”

  • bambinoitaliano

    So a failed statement is a joke and a failed bid is a prank. Okay. Got it!.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    I bet he would actually run if he could actually win, i guess he got polls showing him losing and is trying to backpedal so he can claim it was a joke.

  • Jmdintpa

    diseased riddled filth… go back under your rock

  • Dreaming Vertebrate

    Can we all just wake up now and discover the last 11 months were just a collective dream?? Some prank of the Matrix architects??

    • The_Wretched

      More like the Dallas producers.

      • Dreaming Vertebrate

        Two nights ago I had a science fiction kinda dream/nightmare involving Trump. There was a post-apocacylpse uprising which the Dotard did not survive! (it was depressingly cruel).
        I think these are called wish-fulfillment dreams.

    • Natty Enquirer
      • Daveed_WOW

        I hate it when I fall asleep in my makeup

    • HZ81

      I hope so or I am taking Tylenol PM all day for nothing.

      • Adam King

        The red pill or the blue pill?

        • HZ81

          Blue! I’ll take some reds tho. 🙂

      • canoebum

        You can get by with Tylenol? I need stronger medicine just to keep from ranting and raving. I can’t drink much because it disturbs my sleep and I need to work.

        • HZ81

          ha, I wish. I want a medically induced coma until this is over.

  • GayOldLady

    Kid Rock is an illiterate clown, which explains why he’s a republican. But don’t be fooled by his words this morning. He tested the water and realized that he would get his illiterate ass kicked so now he calls it a prank. He’s a third rate performer and a lousy human being.

    • HZ81

      Sums it up perfectly!

    • jmax

      Third rate? You’re being too kind.

  • MBear

    In my best Michael Palin as pet store clerk voice: “it was a pun “

  • HZ81

    Only thing worse than Kid’s Rock music is… oh, wait. Nothing is worse than Kid Rock’s music.

    Fuck you, Nugent of the late ’90s.

  • Leo

    OT3. Anyone here know someone from Orange Curtain (County)? Vote him OUT.
    https://twitter.com/thedailybeast/status/922846326152417280

    • Misutaa Roboto

      Rohrabacher is a traitor to our country. I know I’ll be lobbying every friend I have in Orange County to vote the fucker out. It may make no difference, since they’d probably do vote that way either way.

  • Todd Allis

    I remember hoping Trump’s campaign was only a prank.

    • Tor

      Unfortunately, it still is. A very, very tragic prank.

  • mikeinftl

    All politics are a prank anymore.

  • Boy Elvis

    Good.

    You still suck, Kid Rock.

  • canoebum

    Pataki has always been an idiot.

  • anne marie in philly

    FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING WHITE LOSER GOPrick FUCK!

  • Jeffg166

    Getting booed at that game made an impression on him.

  • Daveed_WOW

    Look closely at the word “ROCK” on the shirt. Tee Hee.

  • “Fuck no, I’m not running for Senate. Are you kidding me?”

    Says the guy who was kidding everyone by saying just that.

  • Harveyrabbit

    I’m waiting for someone to confess that Kid Rock is a prank.

  • Cuberly Deux
  • Gerald Parks

    Once again …the so called Right Wingers have been …punked!

  • Dagoril

    So disappointing. Run Kid, Run! #DraftKidRock

  • MonochromeMouse

    He must have learned that government hired security won’t let him go to his dealer’s house.

  • Elsewhere1010

    Funny prank, asshole.

  • aagold76 .

    something tells me he was serious, then he learned what was in store and what may be exposed and he backed out- THANKFULLY!

  • Jean-Marc in Canada
  • Tom Furgas

    He trolls his fans with a phony Senate run and then acts flabbergasted because they believed him. And they still attend his concerts and buy his records. He flips them off and they cheer!

    • TexasBoy

      Sounds like Presidential material to the GOP.

  • boobert

    Sad thing is he might have won. US voters aren’t the brightest bunch. Like they say, “you gotta have a gimmick”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wErVF7QwIY&list=FLcchKT4OQGOy14uUrisCv-Q&index=25

  • Uncle Mark

    No surprise there…given that the Drumpf presidency has been a sick protracted joke, I’m assuming that this is a sick & twisted trend by attention whores.

  • Jay Mills

    lol Pataki “the GOP moral voice”

  • Will Parkinson

    SUCKERS!

  • KaBoomBOX

    Oh thank Gob!

  • JCF

    Damn, I mean Pataki as Governor sucked…but DAYUM!

    Brat Noise’s campaign was only a prank, BECAUSE he polls show how much of a joke it was.

  • Dorothy Rothchild

    Funny how the ‘prank’ only ended when it came out that he was down 30 pts in the polls.

  • andrew

    One less major asshole that will not be sitting in the Senate.

  • leastyebejudged

    Nobody believed for a second that the junky was serious or capable.

  • Lindoro Almaviva

    and when are we going to be told his entire career was also a prank?

  • 5moreminutes*imtired

    This walking nutsack must have seen a poll or two…

  • Red Ruffensor

    Typical bagger, gets made fun of so he takes his ball and goes home, claiming he didn’t really mean it. Sad!