Little Demand For Pence Event Spurs Price Slash

The Denver Post reports:

Because of a lack of demand, the Colorado Republican Party is offering a Groupon-like deal to see Vice President Mike Pence. Pence is the headliner for a party fundraiser Oct. 26 at the Denver Marriott Tech Center, where the lowest-priced tickets originally cost $275.

The party announced the event weeks earlier but struggled to sell the tickets available. So now it’s lowering the cheapest ticket to $150, a 45 percent discount. A couple can attend with a two-for-one deal at the original $275 price.

Colorado Republican Party Chairman Jeff Hays tried to put his best spin on the news, writing in an email Wednesday: “Due to popular demand, we have made more tickets available at a new lower price.” But the same invite later says space is limited.

According to the hotel, their ballroom holds 900. The state GOP now expects to sell 400 tickets.

  • Stogiebear

    A Pants on Fire Sale!

  • bambinoitaliano

    His little fake tantrum of walking in and out of the NFL game is certainly not helping. He must have thought he is Kanye West or someone.

  • CanuckDon

    I hear the new tickets come with a complimentary pillow.

    • Mark

      …and knee pads.

  • Tawreos

    Is it possible that making jokes about wanting to kill citizens is having an effect on ticket sales? Please let that be the answer.

    • bambinoitaliano

      In reality just like that fucking moron, the peers of Pencies have very little respect for him. Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dumb are only political pawns for the GOP to control Washington. The PR is a play to their base.

      • Librarykid

        He was not popular as governor and probably would not have been reelected.

        • Chucktech

          To say the least. He saw the VP slot as sitting up in his political coffin.

    • IDavid

      I’d go to grill him about wanting to hang gay people, and film it for YouTube.

    • John30013

      To be fair, while Pence probably does want that, the “quote” came from Drumpf, so we don’t *know* that Pence said that.

      • David Walker

        He said it if he was told to. He’s very good at orange-nosing.

      • Tawreos

        Pence’s actions in the past don’t really lead one to expect otherwise and I have yet to hear of a disclaimer or a correction being put out that he doesn’t feel that way

  • TuuxKabin
    • Bill Doyle

      My first thought!! Thanks for saving me the search time!

      • TuuxKabin

        I knew someone else would get the same idea. Decided to watch the entire movie. Breakfast Feature. Need some laughs and Bette’s just the ticket.

      • Jack Holden

        A regular blue light special.

    • SFBruce

      Great and gay minds think alike. This bit is the very first thing that came to my mind.

      • TuuxKabin

        And a few others so it appears. Natural reaction, sure.

  • Karl Dubhe

    Who knew? Treason doesn’t seem to be popular, unless you’re already a traitor.

  • Silver Badger

    I wouldn’t pay $1.50 to see this asshole, much less $150.00. Now if he was on in a dunking booth…

    • bambinoitaliano

      Not even it’s for free. I rather crash someone’s wedding.

    • Tawreos

      A dunking booth over sharks with no cage so I could “miss” a few times and hit him in the face, yeah I could go for that.

    • Librarykid

      or hanging from something…

  • romanhans

    No wonder Groupon is having nothing to do with this. It’s demeaning enough to sell $2.98 fidget spinners.

  • bambinoitaliano

    I’m sure the party chairman will make another announcement soon. Due to overwhelming response to the event, we are giving away free tickets. Also check craiglist, we are auditioning attendees. Successful candidates will receive $15/hr. Hurry! Space are limited!

    • Mark

      auditioning attendees or ????

  • SAD!

  • Rolf

    Why am I not surprised? Watching a frozen block of spinach defrost would be more interesting.

  • PickyPecker
    • Tawreos

      There will never be a day I am crazy enough to take this offer.

  • Ewell Knévanneaux

    If they wanna raise money, raffle tickets for the chance to punch him in the face.

    • Tawreos

      Punch Pence works, but it lacks the fun of Take a Whack at Ouiser.

      • Ewell Knévanneaux

        I was thinking more in terms of Whack-A-Doo

    • I’d like a two for one choice please. Both face and balls

  • Bj Lincoln

    Who wants to listen to a guy who thinks he is religiously superior, calls his wife ‘mother’ and is as boring as watching paint dry?

    • Michael R
      • Jeffg166

        Shove over that looks fascinating.

      • Nic Peterson

        Hubby and I are on weather machine that night.

    • DJ John Bear

      I’m sorry I can’t make it, but I need to wash my hair…

    • David Walker

      Sorry. Sock drawer needs attention that night.

    • Watching paint dry and the grass grow is more exciting than puppet pence

    • Todd Allis

      I would possibly interested if they had a Pence dunk tank.

    • trouble94114

      Waxing the cat here.

      • John

        That’s HILARIOUS on BOTH interpretations. Kudos 94114 from 94103.

    • Raising_Rlyeh

      “calls his wife ‘mother'”

      Super creepy and i just call the bf ‘daddy’ in the bedroom.

    • Kyle Hennigan

      A therapist…

  • geoffalnutt

    Yay!!! The Pence toxicity announces itself bigly!!! Yay!!!

    • Uncle Mark

      With Republicans quietly disparaging Trump amongst themselves, and possibly looking towards Pence to replace him…you know that Pence has been feeling better about himself, until this event. It just reminds him that it’s not only his home state that hates him.

  • Michael R
    • Acronym Jim

      Different show, same producers, but these two probably would have won hands down if they had been on the 1.98 Beauty Show (although I’m sure Rip Taylor would have taught them a thing or ten).

  • PickyPecker

    Halloween is just around the corner. I’m thinking of going out as Pence, but afraid it might be too frightening for the little ones.

    • Dagoril

      People might throw rotten vegetables at you.

    • Steverino

      That mask is very Pencive.

    • JAKvirginia

      No treats for you!

  • worstcultever

    Great news! Everybody’s hating these fucks!

    Also too – fewer dollars for Holy Mike’s legal defense fund!

  • netxtown

    kinda steep prices just to watch a horror show.

  • boatboy_srq
    • worstcultever

      SUCH a great movie – maybe my favorite Bette thing ever

      • TuuxKabin

        This and Outrageous Fortune.

    • canoebum

      I looked for the same clip, then found you posted it here down thread.

      Mike Pence…like I said…chipped beef on stale toast.

    • Librarykid

      Nonsense; there is no blue light flashing over her head.

  • Uncle Mark

    Mike Pence & Mother will not be attending this “Group-on” event. They don’t do Group-ons, as it sounds far too risqué for someone of their puritanical wholesomeness

  • olandp

    In my fantasy a hundred married gay and lesbian couples go and cuddle during his speech. That would throw him for a loop!

    • PickyPecker

      Mother would be in shock!

      • Snarkaholic

        Yes, she would…to see that women can actually ENJOY having sex!

      • olandp

        Wouldn’t it be great!

    • boatboy_srq

      $300 per couple, just to mess with Pence’s (presumed) mind, seems a bit steep.

      • Snarkaholic

        You can then sue (for far more than that amount) by saying that, previously and completely, unbeknownst to you, the speaker advocated genocide for ALL gay people…and you may NEVER get over the trauma.

        • boatboy_srq

          Ah, but who would pay?

      • olandp

        I did say fantasy…

    • Steverino

      Throw him for a loop before he can throw us a loop.

  • worstcultever

    Poor pukes. They should hire me for marketing.

    “And if you act RIGHT NOW – we’ll throw in a half-off coupon for your mistress’s next abortion!”

    • PickyPecker
      • worstcultever

        Thanks for this – I’d forgotten about this gif – both the concept and execution are so damn good

        • Librarykid

          I wonder if he peed if it would short out the blower.

      • DaddyRay

        You were so close to owing me a new keyboard as I about spit out my coffee when I saw it

      • William

        That should draw the kids into church.

  • worstcultever

    I love this thread. (channeling Oprah) – You get an upvote! you get an upvote! EVERYBODY GETS AN UPVOTE! 🙂

  • Boy Elvis

    Pence sucks donkey balls but I think he’s a lot less electable than Lord Dampnut. He lacks Dampnut’s weird charisma…in fact, he lacks any charisma whatsoever.

  • bkmn

    Dear GOP,
    Your diehard fundie base is dying off. You might want to find a different group to rally around.

    • Tawreos

      No, they should stick with that base since their policies will help it die off quicker.

  • Uncle Mark

    I would go if it just had Hot Pence there !! (At least I’d know the money was going to a good cause while ogling some nice legs.)

  • Joe in PA

    “Due to popular demand, we have made more tickets available at a new lower price.”

    One would think…that a business-friendly entity like the Republican party would understand the principals of supply and demand. Huh.

  • Uncle Mark

    I’m saving my money for the White House Fire Sale…Everyone’s being fired and everything MUST GO !!

    • Librarykid

      “Lost our Lease” or Lost our Grip on Reality

  • JT

    Shit is still shit, no matter the discount. Just eat it.

    • worstcultever

      SUCH a good one

      • greenmanTN

        I even liked the remake of that one.

  • greenmanTN

    Mother must be mortified!

    (Stop me before I alliterate again! 🙀)

    • Tawreos

      It isn’t like Kellyanne to forget to put her wig on before going in front of the cameras, I wonder what happened?

    • worstcultever

      I must say, that old Mrs. Bates took pretty good care of her teefs!

    • David Walker

      “Mummified” works, too.

      And because I don’t believe in coincidence, this showed up on this morning’s BBC Headline Newsletter. I pretty much agree.

      • greenmanTN

        I’d like to see that, I think. A feature length movie about a 2 minute scene? The movie about the making of Psycho, starring Helen Mirren and Anthony Hopkins, is pretty good.

        • David Walker

          I didn’t see that, but apparently it’s available on YouTube and I have a note to myself to watch it. I avoided the color version because I copped a “why bother” attitude first time I heard about it, and the “it should have been made in color” excuse/reason put the matter to rest. Hitchcock could have made it in color; he chose not to. This, however, and the film in the BBC story are movies I would enjoy…simply because I believe the premise that it is one of the most perfect scenes ever.

    • Steverino

      Mother and Hoosier Daddy.

  • Rebecca Gardner

    The could save even more money and just use a cardboard cutout of Pence. Who could possibly tell the difference.

    • worstcultever

      I doubt even Mother could tell the difference

      • Rebecca Gardner

        True, she’s probably never seen him through the hole in the sheet.

        • Uncle Mark

          …..or even FELT him through the hole in the sheet

          • Kissmagrits

            Or maybe Pence was strained through a sheet at his inception.

      • She might enjoy the cardboard version, he’d be hard for once

    • Dagoril

      The cardboard would be more charismatic.

    • Librarykid

      They might sell more tickets by having a dinner without him. They could have a cardboard version of him in a back room with a baseball bat so that no one would be embarrassed by being seen hitting him. They could charge for that and maybe make even more money.

  • Hunter M

    Of course they had trouble selling tickets at that price. No one in the religious reich, who would want to listen to that nut, has that kind of money to spend. Pandering to them is a mistake if you’re trying to make money. He should just stick to his Koch brother buddies.

  • TuuxKabin
    • greenmanTN

      Eh. She committed voter fraud by voting in NYC when she really lives in the Uncanny Valley.

  • liondon#iamnotatraitor

    Reruns of Walton’s Mountain are essentially the same thing.

    • Librarykid

      Better theme song though.

  • normadesmond

    Marked down shit is still shit.

  • VodkaAndPolitics

    The best part about this is that you know that ratings obsessed Trump is going to FLIP HIS SHIT! It’s going to get under his skin, bigly.

    • Tawreos

      Not really it will help him feel superior to Pence.

    • Librarykid

      I would hope like an Guinea worm gets under the skin.

  • Uncle Mark

    HA…Mike Pence is the BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL of the RED STATES

  • TampaDink

    Sick pence, none the richer. He’s been marked down. I love it.

    • worstcultever

      “Kiss me, down by the Russian troll farm … “

      • TampaDink

        Kiss me down by the broken white house
        String me up from it’s swinging tire…

    • Reality.Bites

      Who’d have thought he’d have so much in common with Bette midler?

      • Charlie

        That’s right…she was marked down by KMART! This twit had to have been marked down by the Dollar Store!

  • alc2018 I’m the one that’s gotta sleep with him the rest of you shut yur pie-hole, I mean really…woo

    • worstcultever

      She desperately needs Sassy Gay Friend – “look at your life, look at your choices! Look at your BANGS!”

      • Uncle Mark

        Alas, she thought she married her sassy gay friend, until she realized he’s more bitchy and self-hating than sassy

      • Uncle Mark

        Poor gal. She’s married to Pence; those are the only BANGS she gets out of this marriage.

      • Jon Doh

        Looks like she visited Hair Styles by Michelle Duggar.

        • bzrd

          better than kim davis’ sister-wife look

      • Librarykid

        “Your life is in the toilet.”

  • Uncle Mark

    So even wealthy people with money to burn aren’t even willing to sit through a dinner with the sanctimoniously tedious Rev. Pence. Then again, I’m pretty certain that the wealthy really don’t give a flying fuck about religion, unless it’s in regards to manipulating the gullible masses

  • Robincho

    Not worth tuppence…

    • Librarykid

      What if it were a Tupperware party?

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    You could not pay decent people enough to go

  • OdieDenCO

    morons, denver county voted Clinton 244,551 to donny 62,690. go peddle your BS elsewhere. we ain’t buying.

  • LesbianTippingHabits

    The real question is, will the Colorado Republican Party pay the bills?


  • Tom Mears

    White bread with mayonnaise doesn’t sell? I’m shocked, I tell you, shocked.

  • Hank

    The Colorado Rethuglican Party should just send the following out. Their members could just mail in their money!!!

    • Paula

      Them womans.

    • GanymedeRenard


  • Keith D Plane

    I wouldn’t pay a penny to be in the same room with this Human Q-Tip

    • Friday’s_cat

      Inbred ferret?

    • Reality.Bites

      U wouldn’t pay tuppence for one Pence

  • 2guysnamedjoe

    Include a basket of overripe produce with each ticket, and watch sales go through the roof.

  • Achilles Tsakiridis

    “I’d rather watch flies fuck…” — the late great George Carlin

  • Friday’s_cat

    Colorado republican voters spent all their money on Tiki Torches, confederate rags, time payment layaway at the gun dealer, and having their bed sheet robe and pointy hood dry cleaned.

    • Librarykid

      Does anyone remember the spoof on the ad for Tide in Mad Magazine with Lurleen Wallace talking about how Tide gets our all of the grass stains and dirt from her white sheets after George has been out night riding?

  • People can tell that Pence’s heart just isn’t in it. What he would really like to sponsor is an anti-gay auto da fe.

    • Hank

      What HEART???

  • 2guysnamedjoe

    Replace Pence’s podium with one of these. Ticket sales will skyrocket.

    • ETownCanuck

      Only if the tank is full of sulphuric acid….

      • CB

        That’s going to sting!

        • ETownCanuck

          Just a little.

        • Michael White

          he can unite his sufferings with jeebus

  • He’s looking less and less pre-Alzheimer’s every day.

  • Lumpy Gaga

    LOL! Tarp half the room..Pence isn’t ready for 900-seaters.

  • Dagoril

    Mother only has so many friends she could invite.

  • kareemachan
  • Paula

    Sorry, can’t make it. That’s waffle night at home.

  • Len Ricci

    I wonder if he will bring his own ropes to hang those awful homo’s… just for entertainment’s sake ya know!

    • David Walker

      Give him enough rope and he’ll fuck up hanging the homos and wind up hanging himself and, with luck, 45 as well.

      • Librarykid

        sort of like the genius who would fuck up a two car funeral with the grave yard next door to the church?

  • Bad Tom

    Vice President Pence
    Presented by KMart!

  • David Walker

    I’m not sure how to put this. Oh, OK.

  • greenmanTN

    If Mike Pence calls his wife ‘mother,’ what does he call his mother?

  • JWC

    Ah nobody likes Mikey Keep the momentum rolling

  • dcurlee

    Just heard the toliet flush again. This trud is almost going down. Might take a couple of more flashings but it’s getting there

  • Ken M

    They should have invited the Baker as a speaker, or at least advertised he would be there and offer him a free pass.

  • Niblet58

    The last time he held one of these things, he couldn’t even draw as much as the local tractor pull… No one likes this POS.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    Something to think about, it took Bush 6 years and two unpopular wars and Katrina to sink his approval rating. It took Fox News ‘s ceaseless lies about Healthcare reform among others to lower Obama’s ratings and even then Obama was still beloved. It has taken less than 9 months for Two Scoops Donnie and Father pence to have the popuarity of an STD. I dont recall Biden have trouble getting people to watch him speak.

  • edrex

    econ 101 — supply and demand. the market has been flooded with self righteous pricks so the cost has dropped.

  • charemor

    Well, imagine that.

  • andrew

    At a Pence party there’s probably no open bar and not even many Republicans want to listen to him sober.

  • Pip

    No one wants him here. He can just stay out of Colorado.

    We have slowly but surely turned this state from red to purple and are on the way to blue. My county was finally all blue in the last elections.

  • JCF

    Remember this, if the ONLY alternative is Drumpf or Pence: Pence is a charisma-free joke.