FLORIDA: GOP House Candidate Claims She’s Flown In A UFO And Telepathically Communicated With Aliens

The Miami Herald reports:

Florida has a U.S. senator who once flew aboard the Space Shuttle. A congressional candidate from Miami can go one better: Bettina Rodriguez Aguilera says she’s been aboard a spaceship too. But this one was crewed by aliens. As in extraterrestrials.

Three blond, big-bodied beings — two females, one male — visited her when she was 7 years old and have communicated telepathically with her several times in her life, she says. (Sen. Bill Nelson served as payload officer aboard the Space Shuttle Columbia in 1986. All seven people aboard were from Earth. As far as is known.)

She described “going up” inside the spaceship — though whether it went into space or just hovered around town was left unclear. “I went in. There were some round seats that were there, and some quartz rocks that controlled the ship — not like airplanes,” Rodriguez Aguilera said.

Aguilera, 59, a Republican who is running to replace retiring Miami Republican Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, recounted her experience with the ETs during a 2009 television interview. Her daughter is former Republican National Committee Hispanic outreach director Bettina Inclán Agen. Her son-in-law, Jarrod Agen, is Vice President Mike Pence’s deputy chief of staff.

Hit the link for more about Aguilera’s flying saucer experience and bizarre beliefs.

  • olandp

    Well, that explains a lot.

  • Kevin Perez

    The Opal Covey of Florida (or is that just normal there)

    • bsinps

      Lock her up too!

  • TampaZeke

    And that’s the most reasonable statement I’ve heard from a Republican in YEARS!

    • jerry

      Sadly, that’s true…she’s not far from what passes for “mainstream” Republican these days.

  • Rex

    I’ve suspected that many of the members of the GOP are from outer space for years.

  • Gustav2

    The whole family believes in imaginary things: aliens, Hispanic outreach by Republicans and Mike Pence’s governance.

    • Rambie

      Does Florida put hallucinogenics into the drinking water?

      • Gustav2

        It’s the humidity.

        • Rambie

          Ah, that was my 2nd choice, then 3rd was swamp gas

  • bsinps

    Lock her up!

    • motordog

      Beam her up!

  • Michael R
    • Tawreos

      Holy fuck, you need to put up a warning before you just drop that picture on us.

      • Todd20036

        It’s a pretty good appetite suppressant if you are trying to lose weight, though.

        • jmax

          Suppressant? More like an emetic.

          • Thelma

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      • jonfromcalifornia

        LOL… gave me an absolute fright too!

    • Rex

      Here she is in 30 years with age-advanced technology. Or just a good guess.

      • GayOldLady

        Nothing worse than an old woman with big, black hair and black eyebrows.

        • jmax

          You mean Cher? 🙂

          • GayOldLady

            Cher is 71 and her plastic surgery has gone well enough that she doesn’t look 71. I, personally, wish Cher would just allow herself to be old because there’s a freedom in aging that you can’t get until you accept it. Accepting it is the hardest part. In the words of Bette Davis: “old age ain’t no place for sissies”. It takes courage to accept where you are in life and learn to embrace. There’s no escaping age and someday, soon, Cher will no longer be able to hide from it.

          • jmax

            Correct, she doesn’t look 71. She looks like a 60 year old who has had too much work done on her face. I think any plastic surgery which makes it obvious that you have had plastic surgery is a failure.

          • Stubenville

            Cher could take inspiration from Carmen Dell’Orefice, who looks stupendous at 86, rocking a mane of white hair.

          • JAKvirginia

            You made me spit my tea! 🤣

          • jmax

            Then my day is complete : )

          • kirby7771

            LOL. Now that’s just evil. Marry me?

          • jmax

            I’m flattered by the offer, but I’m already taken. By someone who loves Cher : )

        • Stubenville

          why does it always have to be about Caitlyn Jenner?

    • Statistics Palin

      Looks like Opal Coven.

    • TrueWords
      • Lars Littlefield

        Gloria was fifty-years-old in 1950 when she made that film. In those days that was considered really, really old.

    • JAKvirginia

      And the Oscar for Best Special Effects goes to…

    • Lawerence Collins

      She’ll most likely win. The establishment Democrats will run some Dick Durbin, DINO and lose. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/566b70f6f2ed5ce41626ec0b4e3a8c927ced72a24e90c54c5f4d6b048444d4b2.jpg

    • Stubenville

      Yikes! She makes Edie in Pink Flamingos look glamorous.

  • Rex

    She’s at just about the right level of crazy to get elected. She just needs to assure everyone they can say “Merry Christmas” and not “Happy Holumuzkeosnoe” as they say on Mars.

    • Tawreos

      Well, if she is going to be that way she can forget getting invited to this years Holumuzkeosnoe Party, and this years celebration promises to be the most decadent one ever.

      • Rex

        I made my famous dip 8 months ago so it can age, it’s not perfect until it has a bright green glow and fuzz.

  • DaddyRay

    I am sure she has also been anally probed

    • Tawreos

      Well, that was just so they could conduct the brain scan.

    • Rex

      Perhaps a bit too deeply.

    • Uncle Mark

      If she’s a Republican, she IS the anal probe…the kind that screws over 99% of Americans…far more than her alien buddies have ever done

  • Tawreos

    Well that interview will come in mighty handy to anyone running against her.

  • Acronym Jim

    Are we sure that isn’t Bette Midler playing an ironic joke on the GOP? I fear they are so far gone, the joke can only backfire.

  • Stogiebear

    I don’t know what she’s been smoking but its effects are far and away more interesting than my brand.

  • Skokieguy [Larry]
  • Adam King

    Her stupid delusions aren’t even very imaginative or creative. They read like the cheesiest low-budget science fiction.

    • clay

      Where do you think she got them?

    • Steven Jaeger

      She must have fallen asleep while watching some strange bad sci-fi movie in the 50s woke up in the middle and thought she was actually there

  • kareemachan

    Floriduh.

  • clay

    “Miami-Dade Commissioner Bruno Barreiro and former school board member and Miami-Dade County mayoral candidate Raquel Regalado, both far better known than Rodriguez Aguilera, are also running in the Republican primary.”

  • GayOldLady

    That’s as believable as the virgin birth, the raising of the dead, walking on water or ascending into heaven.

    • Rex

      Or the coal industry is making a come back.

      • GayOldLady

        Believe it or not the GOP/Trump is now attempting to float the notion that it was too far gone when they arrived to rescue it. In other words, Obama did it.

    • Todd20036

      Remember when such batshit idiots would be laughed right off the ballot, instead of being taken seriously?

  • David Walker

    Well, why not, you know? Why the hell not? Compared to “I alone can fix it,” this seems pretty reasonable.

    Speaking of the asshole-in-chief, he’s figured out a way to kill off most of us. It now wants to deregulate chicken inspection because it’s so fucking costly to chicken products’ producers. And, to seal the death deal, no one will have healthcare, so we’re dead ducks. Or chickens.

    https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/another-obama-decision-reversed-now-it-s-about-food-safety-n810296

  • joeyj1220
    • TuuxKabin

      Hillaryous. Swear to gawd. Looks like our old Norma, but Norma was more Maine Coon in appearance. So funny.

  • Frostbite

    She sounds qualified to me, vote her in!

    • David J

      Probably more sane than the man in the White House now, and his entire family.

  • John Ruff

    She’ll probably win.

  • NYCBullDog

    Sounds about right for Florida.

  • Jay Mills

    Too bad the NASA administrator position has already been filled.

  • JohnJay

    So which type of alien were they? Reptilian, ‘Lil Grey, or Nordic White?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/41e1e550307ad8411bbaff43d42855bb30fea99fb2c7e3c923f9fc16575ee9f4.jpg

    • TuuxKabin

      Must be Dr. Ruth in the middle.

  • greenmanTN

    “You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re an alien, they let you. Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.”

    https://monstergirl.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/tumblr_mh0g6ydpsg1qzr8nao2_500.gif?w=500&h=356

    • JohnJay

      Damn. The original Invaders from Mars. Did that give me the creeps when I first saw it in the 1960’s on TV on a rainy Saturday afternoon.

      • greenmanTN

        Yeah, when the parents go all cold (and Communist, because that’s what we’re really talking about here) it’s pretty creepy.

        http://www.randybyers.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Invaders-from-Mars-1500.jpg

      • TuuxKabin

        Saw it on the silver screen. Then we’d ‘play/re-enact it’ by walking along the top of the back yard fence, the other kids would start with the ‘humming’ sound and whoever was on the fence would fall into the sand pit/quicksand to be poked and probed by fellow space craftettes. We even marked the ‘x’ on the back of the neck and the victim had to terrorize the neighborhood and their family for the rest of the day. The last part sometimes ending in tears.

        • greenmanTN

          Ah, so you were an evil child. Good…. good. 😉

          • TuuxKabin

            WE’RE???

          • greenmanTN

            I was giving you the benefit of the doubt. 😁

          • TuuxKabin

            Foolish, kind and gentle man.

    • greenmanTN

      “I moved on her like a bitch, but now she’s got fake tits and everything…”

      https://media.giphy.com/media/13ea4eXuOuQsmY/giphy.gif

  • Treant

    She’s cray, but Republican, so that’s not a disadvantage.

  • TuuxKabin

    A shoo in winner.

  • David Walker

    OT, but speaking of creepy, today is my birthday and Google’s whatever-it’s-called is in birthday mode and putting the cursor over it indicates it’s my birthday. I was kind of creeped out when AARP sent me birthday greetings years ago to inform me I was eligible for membership, but this one makes me want to get off the internet forever.

    • TuuxKabin

      Oh don’t you go no where. There’s a thing called VPN we have installed, use it to disguise where you are, for example, when we use it we’re tracked / traced to be in Holland. I think you have the opportunity of creating another profile for identity. We chose Holland for the chocolate, tall blonds and big dykes. El HubCap, ever capable, installed it. I know bumpkis as to how to do it. A couple of other commentater tots here use it. I didn’t realize Google has that data on us. Will give it a go with the cursor in a few months.

      • TuuxKabin

        ETA & BTW. Many happy returns of the day!

      • billbear1961
        • TuuxKabin

          Gorjayzus. Vermeer?

          • billbear1961

            They used to think it was Rembrandt, but now they think it’s school or studio of.

          • TuuxKabin

            Since it’s getting close to Halloween, do you have any of the flaming windmills, from Frankenstein is it? Your source seems unlimited. I’ll search in the meanwhile. I’ll be using the imagery for a collage workshop. I already have one card done with four white robed spectres, in a line, facing left and will paste it in come Halloween, dia de los muertos, you sweet inspiration you.

          • billbear1961
          • billbear1961

            Appropriate end for Dump.

          • grada3784

            Not really. Remember, the Monster survived the fire.

          • TuuxKabin

            Thank you! oxo

      • billbear1961
        • TuuxKabin

          Spent a lovely winter in A’dam, traveling mate recovering from pneumonia, students took us in, got free health care for friend and kept us stoned with hash and chocolate. Early 70’s before all this nationalist crap.

        • Menergy

          Is that a long pale penis hanging down from the clouds in the painting???? And why? 🙂

          • Phil2u

            …. yuuuge alien being… looking for Florida.

      • David Walker

        Thank you. I’ll investigate.

    • billbear1961
      • David Walker

        Thank you, kindly. Feeling about as old as the harpsichord, but otherwise I’m all right. Certainly all right enough to enjoy an Italian Concerto.

    • RobynWatts

      Happy birthday, David. 🎂

    • TuuxKabin

      You. Oscar Wilde and Angela Lansbury share this day. Happy Birthday.

      • Bad Tom

        Pretty good birthday mates!

        • TuuxKabin

          Exacto! David has the qualities of both. Poetic. Literary. Sense of theater production and all. Goodly wordly.

          • prixator

            Well, I hope that people don’t get murdered wherever he goes.

            But, then again, “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”

    • yes b’y
      • David Walker

        You know me too well. Thank you.

    • jerry

      I get that each year now…and it’s just as creepy as every single internet search I do comes up as an ad in the next web page. I search for a hotel, and then have a week of ads for that hotel in every web page…or search for a product, and that shows up. So I’ll get my Google message this Saturday. Happy Birthday.

    • McSwagg

      Switch to duckduckgo.com as your search engine. They don’t track you.

      (Happy belated BD. Mine was on Friday the 13th.)

  • billbear1961

    Oh, I think we should do some focus groups on this “controversial” matter, don’t YOU, courageous seekers after truth in the American “news” media?

    Right after your next interview with a NAZI like Steve Bannon.

    Oh, I’m SORRY–“white activist.”

    Don’t want to be “partisan”!

    *pukes*

    • David Walker

      Weekly World News would be right on it. This would have fit their readership to a T.

      • billbear1961

        Good morning, David!

        • David Walker

          And to you, Mr. Bear. Happy Monday.

    • boatboy_srq

      Slightly O/T: Bethesda is releasing a new edition of Wolfenstein, and guess who’s triggered by all the Nazi-punching.

  • red-diaper-baby 1942

    Blond and big-bodied? Methinks there’s a bit of sexual fantasy going on here!
    (My own fantasies tend toward the tall, dark and handsome variety, but she’s entitled to her Nordic preferences.)

    • boatboy_srq

      She read Philip Jose Farmer waaaaay too young.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      If they were scary looking and talked about feeling paralyzed, I’d chalk it up to sleep paralysis, which is genuinely scary as heck. But I agree with your theory.

  • crewman

    You don’t have to be crazy to be Hispanic and support the GOP, but it helps.

    • TuuxKabin

      Hmmmm, your avatar/icon is gorjust. Glad to see the season begin.

  • Halou

    Just say that one of the buff blond haired aliens was called Jesus and she’d have the seat practically guaranteed.

  • Jerry Kott

    She didn’t mention if they touched her “down there”?

    • Dazzer

      They wouldn’t.

      Not even with E.T.’s dick.

    • TuuxKabin

      The space craft touched down, down there upon landing. Mistook it for the entrance to the center of the earth.

  • motordog
    • Menergy

      WTF????? And LOL

      • clay

        When Cos-Play becomes Too Serious.

    • Bad Tom

      See, things really took off for U.N.A.R.I.U.S. when they got that Video Toaster!
      ——-
      Universal Articulate Interdimensional Understanding of Science
      No, really. That’s what they say it means.
      —–
      They must have a commercial account at Freddy Farkel’s Fabric Showplace (The interior of FFFS looks nothing like the website shows. It looks exactly like what a place named “Freddy Farkel’s” should look like.)

    • Lars Littlefield

      Na Nu Na Nu to you too.

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    Do I believe that there is life elsewhere in the universe? Yes. Do I think it’s dumb enough to want to contact us at this stage of development and pick someone like her as a sample? No.

  • geoffalnutt

    Question: “Do aliens have hair?” Answer: “Yes, for dessert”.

  • Robert Adams

    Well a lot of other politicians claim to have a personal relationship with a guy who rose from the dead and turned water into wine. So what’s the big deal with space aliens?

  • Menergy

    mmmmmmkay………

  • Pete Wascher

    maybe they’ll give her a ride to their home. 🙂

  • Uncle Mark

    It’s very tempting to photoshop an Alien face-hugger on her political ad https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/adece92486598711b7d141c8997f27432f8f760330e5e657b99ae143ecc71bc2.jpg

    • Uncle Mark

      Probably all that makeup on her face would cause the alien face-hugger to keep sliding off

    • The_Wretched

      Ridley Scot was once heard to have remarked that the face huggers were obscene.

  • Harveyrabbit

    Grand Nagus tRump will be pleased with the added sources of income and profit.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cac1fd299626eabfb608ca23be8d29cd19147048d949752094755bad7bda8e58.jpg

    • Bad Tom

      Why is he SO BAD at the Rules for Acquisition?

      • McSwagg

        Probably because he lets his females wear clothes.

  • SilasMarner

    I’m beginning to believe all Repugnicants are BATSHIT crazy.

    • Steven Jaeger

      You are only just beginning to think that way? Somewhere around the time of Ronald Reagan is when you should have been thinking that

      • SilasMarner

        You must not be familiar with the fine art of sarcasm.

  • another_steve

    Anyone else see a bit of Bette Midler in her photo?

    The aliens were obviously preparing to turn her into a Bette clone and return her to us with a note reading, “To our gay male friends on Planet Earth – You’re all fabulous and we luv you a lot. We noticed you enjoy the Midler earthling. Here’s another one for you. Enjoy!”

  • Phil2u

    That experience does not put her in a particularly small minority in Florida. It attracts UFO’s like shit attracts flies.

  • 2patricius2

    She’ll fit right in with today’s Republican Party.

  • yes b’y
  • jm2

    Photos with tinfoil had to follow shortly!

  • JoyZeeBoy

    Yes, but is she a witch?

  • JDS

    And she will probably get elected.

  • Bad Tom

    If talking snakes are really responsible for all Evil, and land locked Arks in Kentucky teach valid history (while getting tax credits,) and Omarosa is a valued advisor to the President, then SURE let’s elect space aliens to the Congress.

    I mean, people who claim to have been taken for a ride by space aliens.

    Someone’s being taken for a ride, that’s for sure.

  • JWC

    Sign her up. She is GOP material

  • PhallicMetaphor

    The republicans reinforce credulity.

  • RepublicansRNotConservative

    Is there a screening process for would-be Republican candidates? How demented does one have to be to be excluded? Is it even possible to be excluded?

    • LesbianTippingHabits

      Only the voters who actually show up include or exclude.
      Key is to make Not Voting politically incorrect.

  • Macbill

    I wonder if she was probed.

  • Lars Littlefield

    I’d vote for her just for the shits and giggles.

  • Steve Smith

    A shoo-in, then.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    But remember kids, Democrats are the ones who are “out of touch” according to all the usual suspects, both left and right. You know who you are so don’t even…

  • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

    She’s PERFECT!

    For Floriduh.

  • Charles Nelson

    Aguilera will obviously win by a landslide….this is Florida.

    • LesbianTippingHabits

      Absolutely. There is no such thing as bad publicity.

  • anne marie in philly

    fucking nutcase; LOCK HER UP in the nuthouse!

    • LesbianTippingHabits

      Do you mean the House of Representatives?

  • andrew

    Bettina and her “three blond, big-bodied beings” story is the just another main stream Republican in 2017. The “apparition” happened when she was 7 years old and the big blonds have “communicated with her telepathically several times in her life.” She must have been reading about the Fatima myth at the time. Maybe like the three little girls in Portugal her aliens told her some secrets that she may be able to pass on to us. LOL.

  • trouble94114

    We should be afraid. The GOP is fielding some more rational candidates who may have a wider appeal than the usual RWNJ’s they’ve been getting.

  • Dunkerblinker

    and still more sane than Trump and many other republicans

  • JCF
  • Ogre Magi

    Not much stranger than what most republicans believe
    http://www.biblen.info/Images/donkeys-can-talk.gif

  • Stubenville

    …but she’s not a witch.

  • LesbianTippingHabits


    Hey, anything for publicity, clicks, contributions, and maybe even a few votes.

    I am convinced that many Trumpets want to vote for the candidate the liberal media hates and ridicules. In fact,

    Vote Against The New York Times

    would be a great slogan on a billboard.