BREAKING: “Family Values” Republican House Rep. Tim Murphy Resigns After Adultery And Abortion Scandals

Politico reports:

Rep. Tim Murphy (R-Pa.), the embattled anti-abortion lawmaker who allegedly encouraged his lover to terminate a pregnancy, resigned from office Thursday — just 24 hours after announcing his plan to retire after 2018.

“This afternoon I received a letter of resignation from Congressman Tim Murphy, effective October 21,” Speaker Paul Ryan said in a statement. “It was Dr. Murphy’s decision to move on to the next chapter of his life, and I support it.”

Murphy voted against the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, against the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Act, against the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and for a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage. He has a 0% rating from the Human Rights Campaign. He has a 100% rating from the Family Research Council.

  • Lazycrockett

    The GOP is scared of the midterms.

    • Lazycrockett

      Well the RNC is anyway.

    • clay

      Ryan– ” . . . and I support it [“it” being him getting the fuck out of my House in less than three weeks].”

    • Reality.Bites

      But she wasn’t even pregnant, let alone mid-term.

    • xzargo

      They’re more scared of their own than they are of the Democrats.

  • JCF
    • Jeb

      I’m laughing far too hard at this. It’s hypnotic.

  • Tawreos

    I wonder what hateful asshole they will get to replace him? Sadly, they never have a shortage of those.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    Bye, you creepy fuck.

  • MikeBx2

    By his own admission, Trump has engaged in lots of philandering in his life. He must have funded at least one abortion, which is still a death knell for Republicans. Come on WaPo or NYT, find that abortion.

    • Uncle Mark

      Meh…Twenty years ago, Twitler’s views were more pro-choice. He did try to convince his then-mistress Marla Maples to abort Tiffany. The problem is that the Orange Shitshow can claim to have found “Two Corinthians” now, and all will be forgiven…as long as he continues to offer to promote the grifting “values” of the Christianistas and hates the same people they do

      • MikeBx2

        True, unfortunately.

  • HZ81

    He’s retiring to spend more time with his family who hates him.

    • Nic Peterson

      Order up in the window. Everyone is served at the Karma Cafe! You never know what you will get or when, but it will be exactly what you deserve…

    • William

      He will be spending time with his wife’s divorce lawyers.

      • matrem

        Does she have access to his pension?

        • William

          That depends on how talented her lawyers are.

      • Uncle Mark

        The wife would send him to a psychologist, but that’s pretty much how all this mess happened in the first place

  • bsinps

    Family values my ass!

  • AW

    Oh, how I won’t miss him. Though I’m happy he’s a strong supporter of abortion rights… apparently!

  • TampaDink

    He wanted to spend more time with his fetus.

    • Lazycrockett

      Did the mistress get the abortion?

      • TampaDink

        I’m not sure….but he wouldn’t be the first PA former politician with a fetus in a jar.

      • Tawreos

        I believe they only thought she was pregnant at the time, but wasn’t actually pregnant

      • Rex

        I think it was just a “pregnancy scare” – turns out she wasn’t pregnant.

      • samcollins

        She wasn’t pregnant, as it turns out

      • Ragnar Lothbrok

        False alarm, bad swimmers.

        Nature won.

        • William

          Thank Darwin!

  • Rex

    First, I would like to thank Karma, without her, none of this would have been possible…

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    Btw, Thanks Germany for stepping up.

    https://twitter.com/jawja100/status/915986104821706752

    • William

      Sadly, Puerto Rico is too far from the United States for any aid to be sent from here.

      • Ragnar Lothbrok

        Who knew it was smack in the middle of the Atlantic ?

        • William

          The place mat under Donnie’s lunch has a map of the US. Off the coast of Florida it says “Beyond Here Be Dragons:”

        • GanymedeRenard

          Big sea, huge sea, surrounded by water! Bigly!

          • GayOldLady

            Ocean water

          • RaygunsGoZap

            The worst kind! So vast.

          • GanymedeRenard

            The best water.

        • Paula

          I thought in was in the Mediterranean.

        • JackFknTwist

          Ha ha ha …..Trump/turd feeds you guys such great lines !

          • Uncle Mark

            Trump/turds give us all kinds of lines, except for power lines apparently

          • JackFknTwist

            Need Germany for those lines.

      • laura

        If only there’d been a golf course. 😢

      • Jamie_Johnson

        Also, Puerto Ricans are brown, and don’t speak ‘Merkan.

      • Danieruw

        So close to Europe it may as well be part of Spain!

      • RaygunsGoZap

        I heard their dusting off some of the shuttles? Hoping to swing around the moon and reach Puerto Rico on re-entry. LONGSHOT!

    • GanymedeRenard

      Good on Germany’s good action, which is most appreciated! But sorry, Merkel is HARDLY the leader of her own country, let alone of the so-called “free world”. :/

      • Ken M

        Somehow I doubt the people of PR think, or even know, who she is. Her country is actually helping. That’s what matters now.

        • GanymedeRenard

          And I somehow doubt the people of the mainland USA know who she is, too. The second part of my post stands still, unfortunatelly.

          • Todd20036

            So? Most people in mainland America are idiots.

            The rest of the world has moved on from us, which is fortunate for them

          • GanymedeRenard

            We’re not in disagreement here. 🙂

      • JackFknTwist

        No, she is forming a coalition……just as she did for the last 8 years.

        • GanymedeRenard

          I hope it goes well – she’ll apparently need the far-right for her coalition. Not good.

      • She got elected again?

        • GanymedeRenard

          Yup.

    • bambinoitaliano

      How many rolls of paper towels will the German need to build that. I’m sure the lame duck in chief can help in that regard.

    • JAKvirginia

      Just an FYI about power restoration in Puerto Rico.

      In the US, most of our building standards in hurricane prone areas have been upgraded to “tie down” roof structures. You might lose roof shingles but the structure stays intact. For good reason. Overhead lighting wires in a house snake along in the attic area. Ripping off a roof in total breaks/damages those wires, making turning the electric back on very dangerous.

      Many of the houses and structures in Puerto Rico are not up to standards. Many have lost their roof structures — open to the sky. So fixing the electrical grid is more than putting up new poles and stringing new wire. Every damaged structure’s wiring must be checked thoroughly and repaired if needed before electric can be restored.

      This won’t take days or weeks. This is months and years of work.

      • Ragnar Lothbrok

        Yeah, but Germany is bigly into solar 🙂

        • JAKvirginia

          And last I checked, that requires wiring as well. 🙂

    • Paula

      U.S. companies, are you watching? This is what compassion and generosity looks like.

    • JackFknTwist

      So when is Trump/turd going to thank Germany ?

      • David Walker

        Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Oh, I do love you, JFT. You have such a refreshing sense of humor. I mean, you mentioned 45’s name and “thank” in the same sentence, as it had any remote idea what “thank you” actually means. And then to imply that he’d talk to Dr. Merkel without having to, without being forced to…your sense of the absurd and the preposterous is most welcome. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…oh, dear…I have to pee.

        • JackFknTwist

          Obviously i live in an ‘upside down ‘ world.

      • Danieruw

        Why do you think homocon/insulter of women on Twitter Richard Grenell was appointed ambassador to Germany? That won’t end badly at all!

        • Paul

          With any luck Merkel will rip his 1 incher clean off.

    • GayOldLady

      That is so impressive.

  • David in Tucson

    Move on to the next chapter in his life? I hope it’s a chapter full of public and private opprobrium. I can dream, can’t I?

  • JoeMyGod
    • joe, i can’t tell you how much this makes me smile.
      fucking perfect!

      • olandp

        It is a shame that Josh Duggar wasn’t there looking on.

        • Paul

          Josh is just pissed she got an abortion. Fresh meat he’ll never get to diddle.

    • and isn’t that Don Wildmon, of AFA hate group?
      by george, i think it is!!

      • JoeMyGod

        I retweeted the photo to him too. And all the other haters.

        • William

          You are so thoughtful.

          • Gustav2

            He likes to share.

          • Gerry Fisher

            Bwah-ha-ha! [ahem]

        • Paula

          You’re such a caring guy! 🙂🙂🙂🌈🌈🌈

        • HAAAAAAA
          • MichellEGraham

            Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
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        • ben-andy

          Hmmmm. I can’t decide if I’m happier that he ISN’T going to be collecting his Congressional pay for the next 15 months or that the good people of his district don’t have to go to the trouble to recall him [which might have failed].

          I’m happiest that Miss Tonette Perkup will have the public sadz when she figures out how this is the gayz, liberalz, Demz……really anybody’s fault but hers for having unrealistic expectations that anyone on the planet can live the way her facade requires.

          And I look forward to her failing soon. Video preferred, but apparently text is adequate and will suffice.

      • William

        I always get him confused with the BTK serial killer.

        • Gustav2

          Wildmon is NOT a Lutheran!

          Harrumph!

          • clay

            Calvinist :: Lutheran :: Anglican
            None of them could still get Eucharistic theology clear of the Roman Catholic Church.

        • KevInPDX

          Holy sheeeet you’re spot on with that! There was a PBS(Frontline?) documentary about him I think. Very creepy resemblance. Both in the hate business too.

          • William

            Scary, ain’t it? They must be related.

      • Henry Auvil

        “By George” is the best phrase ever.

    • Ragnar Lothbrok

      the LOLing is a nice touch

    • Ken M

      They need a new definition for “Family Values.” The original isn’t holding up anymore. We can get married and the world hasn’t ended yet, just as an example.

      • David Walker

        And honorably brainwashed congress critters still get caught acting human. What a world, what a world.

    • Uncle Mark

      So at the end of the day, he’s pro-abortion after all after aborting his career…or can we call it self-aborting?

    • Cattleya1

      Boy, they sure know how to pick them…

      • RaygunsGoZap

        Rapists, pedophiles and hypocrites? They have a surplus.

    • RaygunsGoZap

      I recall that photo was taken by Josh Duggar. As in DUGGARDUGGARDUGGAR.

    • prixator

      If I didn’t know better, I’d look at the position of Murphy’s right hand and the look on his face and say he’s thinking “look at this doofus. I fooled him”.

  • Pollos Hermanos
  • gaycuckhubby

    OT… read this thread from NYT ISIS expert.
    She makes a VERY convincing argument that the Vegas shooting was ISIS related…
    https://twitter.com/rcallimachi/status/915998590153129984

    • BearEyes

      Rukmini has a very solid reputation
      Look forward to Rachel tonight

      • TampaDink

        Ari promised that she would be back on air tonight.

        • Ragnar Lothbrok

          I remember him looking me right in the eye when he said that.

          • TampaDink

            I was sure that he was talking to me.

        • gaycuckhubby

          I look forward to watching!

    • TampaDink

      Interesting.

    • William

      She has mentioned the Telegram messaging app several times. Is it really a tool of IS?

      • gaycuckhubby

        Yes

        • William

          I better flush my phone.

        • Reality.Bites

          I guess they’re too smart to use Facebook.

    • Friday’s_cat

      You make a very convincing argument that you might be a loon.

      • gaycuckhubby

        Potentially ☺️ but I think it’s worth looking into this journalist is brilliant at covering Isis. If she think something may be there I don’t doubt her

    • Silver Badger

      If you say so. It looks like it is written in a foreign language instead of Gawd’s own ‘Merican, I’m glad someone can read it and report back to us.

      Edit:
      Oh, it’s translated when you click on the page. Abu did a bang up job.

      • Todd Allis

        If you go to the tweet, you can see translations and additional comments in her replies.

        • Silver Badger

          That may be what I did. Anyway, does Abu get his virgins now?

          • Karl Dubhe

            Unfortunately for him, all of his virgins are the ‘wrong’ sex. They’re also fat/too skinny, ugly and frigid/impotent.

            There’s also no drugs, alcohol or any entertainment.

            24/7/eternity of praying to god… Joy.

          • Silver Badger

            So he is going to hell. Good. Bye Abu.

          • Karl Dubhe

            In any religious tradition he’s on his way there. Murder alone is bad enough for their gods, but to suicide as well?

            None of the Abramic religions condone that. Even martyrdom isn’t supposed to be a thing that you can choose.

          • Silver Badger

            So many do though. How sad for them.

    • gaycuckhubby

      This is getting major attention now.
      This feels like it might be real. Don’t be shocked if they find some connections

      • JCF

        Still way too premature.

        • gaycuckhubby

          To say definitively? Yes.

  • MBear

    Don’t let the door smack you in the ass on the way out

    • Todd Allis

      But be sure to fall down the stairs.

  • five

    Too bad his mom wasn’t into abortions.

    • BearEyes

      Or swallow

  • Ninja0980

    Good riddance to bad rubbish.

  • Joe in PA

    So, Fox News gig coming up? He’s got all the credentials.

    • clay

      After all, he’s a Doctor, been off to university, and what.

    • Treant

      Too ugly, and the evil shines out of his eyes too much. They like their evil handsome and subtle.

  • Treant

    Mind, PA-18, so it’s another Republican, but perhaps the next one will be slightly less odious.

    OK, probably not.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dcedb7b37d8feb5585222e1db3c62deb7310833a183729e9398cab8f8b0649b1.gif

    • Ken M

      He must have heard you yesterday 😉

      • Treant

        What he probably heard was all the newspaper articles and his own constituents saying, “GTFO you obnoxious, hypocritical pain in the ass.”

        • Ken M

          Take some credit soap maker.

          • Treant

            Mine was but one voice in the din. And I’m also sure that Congress indicated he’d have no further power with them, either.

          • David Walker

            Are reps replaced like senators? That is to say, does Gov. Wolfe (D) get to put in a stand-by until said (R) is elected next year?

          • Michael

            Apparently it’s by special election only, which the governor has to call. Can take months. http://history.house.gov/Institution/Vacancies-Successors/Vacancies-Successors/

          • SoCalGal20

            So the House will be short an R for months then?

          • Treant

            I think it’s a special election. This would be a tactical move to raise the probability of said (R) getting elected; in 2018, you just might get a Dem…

    • Ken M

      They will still be new to the Hill. That’s a start.

    • Uncle Mark

      Tim Murphy’s been a good sport on our game show, “Moral Hypocrisy.” What consolation prize will he be going home with?

      He’ll be going home with a WASHED-UP CAREER and an ANGRY & BITTER WIFE.

      I sure hope there’s a goody bag of thoughts and prayers in there too.

      • David Walker

        He also has a life-long pension and the best healthcare we can buy for congress critters. That beats a year’s supply of Rice-a-Roni.

        • Randy Left Brooklyn

          With 15 years in Congress he will get about 25% a current congressman’s pay, which is about $174,000 per year, or a pension of about a $43,500 pension per year.

          That assumes he has no other federal work experience; but he does have experience in both the Navy and in Pennsylvania State Senate, so that will boost his pension by a significant amount. Since he is 65 he can collect right away, along with a substantial Social Security benefit.

      • Rambie

        He’ll probably end up with a lobbying job and speaking gigs for the RNC to the tune of millions.

    • jerry

      For the made-for-TV movie, I nominate Steve Carell to play Murphy. (He did such a good job playing the creepy John duPont in “Foxcatcher”). https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/82108cefccf90ffb929ccb15be716ea23e485b77a1ea541da934ac87755f7164.jpg

  • bambinoitaliano

    He just got push out by the next deplorable eager to take over.

  • justmeeeee

    Meaning there’s more shit to hit the fan…

  • laura

    What would the Republican population be in D.C. if all the hypocrites resigned? 🙄

    • Todd Allis

      I have a feeling that would somehow dip into negative numbers.

  • Ross
    • MikeBx2

      I enjoyed watching last night. Went to bed feeling emotional.

    • Ken M

      And she simply becomes Hillary. “Get the fuck out of my way” Hillary. But still Hillary.

    • Todd Allis

      Reminds me… *buys her book*

      • Ross

        I purchased the audible version.

        Hillary narrates.

        It’s like spending time with her over some wine.

  • FelineMama

    “All Together Now, All Together Now” Sing it Boys: H/T The Beatles….. Shocked, Shocked.. WE are OH, SO….. NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Bernie

    He’s going home to spend more time with the family that he aborted.

    • Reality.Bites

      He’s hoping for a wedding between his aborted son and Santorum’s aborted daughter.

      • The_Wretched

        Santorum was ok with her abortion since she’d be dead otherwise. Everyone else who’d die without one doesn’t matter to him so, so sorry.

        • Silver Badger

          Back in the day, a Catholic baby was always more important than the mother’s life.

  • Natty Enquirer

    “Doctor” only in setting academe. He holds a Ph.D. in psychology.

    • clay

      Some states allow a “Counselor” license with as little as a BA/BS.

      • Natty Enquirer

        One is perfectly entitled to call oneself “Doctor” with the Ph.D., but it is widely considered vain and pretentious to do so outside the academic setting.

  • Tempus Fuggit

    …so he can spend more time with his faymlee. In Jeeziz’ name aymeeyin.

  • Lizard

    For anyone not aware, “move on to the next chapter of his life” is Republispeak for “make a shit-ton of money speaking at anti-choice conventions about why women shouldn’t have rights.”

  • gaycuckhubby

    OT… whew… This Weinstein report is disturbing, to say the least.

    • Ninja0980

      Yup, and Lisa Bloom defending him just throws all of her credibility out the window.

      • SoCalGal20

        Oh no! I liked her!

  • Taylor

    So, does this mean that the Governor of PA, who is a Democrat will be appointing a replacement…??

    • clay

      I thought that, but apparently the House only does it by special election (there being so many of them?). I doubt that October 21, or even October 5, will be enough time to set one up.

  • JP

    Hey guys, I’ve been on the site as a semi lurker for awhile. Will post every now and again if I’m so moved, and I’m not a part of this sites “culture” so to speak. That being said. Is it possible we can mellow out on the bare male ass photos? I’m only asking because I’m generally on here while at work and while my office is pretty liberal about web surfing, they aren’t as liberal when it comes to seeing you scroll past bare male asses. Especially when your boss comes to have a conversation with you and you turn away from the screen not realizing the page on your computer is showing bare male ass until your boss asks you what you’re looking at and you turn around horrified. I like coming here every day, but that’s a bit much.

    • JCF

      As one of the few resident dykes here…I just like to be WARNED when male privates are about to pop up on my screen! (for fast scrolling purposes). Besides that, I’m (obviously) not the one to ask.

      • JP

        Yeah a warning or something would be nice so I could just zip through with the scroll bar.

        • kanehau

          I agree… a warning would be great so I know to scroll extra slow.

          • Natty Enquirer

            No warning needed here. My nudity detector is working just fine.

      • Same.

        • Silver Badger

          Male privates are not shown here often. The picture stops just short. Except for the statues. If your referring to their back sides, well, gee whiz. Check Clay’s post directly above.

    • clay

      Scroll over this post. Ya see that little (-) sign over there to the far right of my name? Hit it and see what it does.

    • JAKvirginia

      Um… don’t want to be Mean Mommy here, but shouldn’t you be working? Cruise JMG on your phone, dude.

    • barrixines

      You can set Disqus that it will not show media in a post unless you deliberately click on a link. Your name top right hand side choose Hide Media. Probably be a good idea to do that for work for all sorts of reasons not least the bumcheeks.

      • JP

        AWWW, thank you.

        • barrixines

          You’re very welcome – I do hope it wasn’t the elderly gentlemen in the thong I posted the other day. That definitely wasn’t something you’d want your boss seeing you looking at.

          • JP

            I did it. This is great. I can do nothing at work in peace.

          • JP

            No. I’ve been noticing it for awhile but the men usually had on some sort of clothing so it didn’t phase me. But there was a string of bare male cheeks on this thread and my boss approached me and I couldnt scroll past all of them fast enough lol.

          • barrixines

            I shall now check them out and see if I am appalled…

          • clay

            Cleavage!

      • Lumpy Gaga

        And faster loads!! (Wait a minute, that didn’t come out right.)

        • AmeriCanadian

          Au contraire! It came out just right!

      • Reality.Bites

        And at home in every post about Trump.

        • barrixines

          Really if you’re talking about photos of arses every other story here has one in the above the line piece.

          • Reality.Bites

            Yes. In my case I meant some of the “enhanced” photos of Trump and Bannon go well beyond what I’m comfortable looking at. I can handle a photo of Trump at the top of the page. I don’t fancy scrolling past retouched photos as I look for new posts in the thread and replies.

          • barrixines

            I used to ignore all the cat gifs and animal stories. Now I find myself upvoting all of them- either I am hitting the sundowner part of my life or I am just totally done in by current politics.

          • Reality.Bites

            I don’t watch any news programs or shows that use actual clips of people like the Daily Show, Last Week Tonight, etc. anymore.

            Having Will & Grace and Star Trek back is very comforting.

            And my tumblr feed is nothing but hot guys, cute animals and glee.

      • I suggested the same…should have scrolled further down ;-))

    • AmeriCanadian

      Yep…same here but I’ve learned to keep multiple tabs open and switch between them whenever I see the hint of someone approaching. I never knew reading current events was equated with browsing soft porn. Surprise!

      • barrixines

        I think with Trump, the focus has shifted a bit at JMG, away from stories that were more solely geared to a gay readership to a far more general political/current affairs blog by a gay man.

        • AmeriCanadian

          I get it and no complaint as I appreciate the occasional “fun” pic as well. But I mostly read the blog during the day and usually at work. I’m lucky that I have a private office and my screen faces away from the door. Nevertheless…I don’t need any rumors floating around that I’m looking at “porn” at work. 😉

      • Reality.Bites
        • AmeriCanadian

          LOL

          • Reality.Bites

            Is it not truly marvellous that almost any concept one might wish to convey with an illustration can be found within seconds, longer if a hot guy is needed too.

            https://i.ytimg.com/vi/017sIE4lRbY/maxresdefault.jpg

          • AmeriCanadian

            Oh I totally agree. I’ve worked in IT my entire adult life and I’ve only recently been impressed by technology: the vast amount of data available at our fingertips and apps like Shazam that can identify a song using just a small sampling of audio.

          • Reality.Bites

            I’ve wondered about how they do that. It will generally identify which version it is if the same song has been performed different ways (“live” version, studio, etc.)

            Is it basically just brute force, a database of millions of songs, digitized and the computing power to find the snippet it happens to hear?

          • AmeriCanadian

            Soundhound will (sometimes) identify a song that you hum or sing. I believe someone has figured out how to tokenize the wave patterns of sound thus relieving the need to store the entire wave file (or similar encoding method). It needs a sample long enough to create a minimum sized token that is then compared to an indexed list. At least that’s my understanding. I didn’t realize that wave patterns were so unique, especially as you point out with different versions of the same song that exist, that a lossy tokenization algorithm was capable of making an accurate match.

            I do believe that copyright infringement discovery was the push behind the technology. I think it is used to take down digital music (and perhaps video) that are posted all over the place.

    • Ross

      Hi, JP!

      I posted the bare asses below.

      One of the things I love about JMG is that between the constant stream of HORROR stories there are, occasionally, bare asses, naked chests, seductive kitties, entrancing doggies, bears of all kinds, and musical interludes.

      And thank God.

      • JP

        I understand. Not trying to be a buzzkill. Someone helped me hide media so now I won’t see them I think. Carry on.

        • gaycuckhubby

          Hiding media is what I do too. It speeds up loading and should eliminate your concerns! A win for everyone 🙂

    • Maybe choose the ” hide media” option?

  • Dagoril

    Thoughts and prayers!

  • Bluto
    • safari

      This is precisely how I feel.

    • Treant

      Or he’s given up and about to bake himself like a potato*.

      Hopefully he doesn’t end up getting thrown around the cafeteria in a food fight.

      Fun fact: To sterilize a soil, put it in a baking tray and heat it at 350° with a potato on top. When the potato is done, the soil is sterile.

      • Reality.Bites

        Does it work with Republican congressmen?

        • Treant

          Testicles in the microwave for a minute fifty.

      • Lumpy Gaga

        Which one do I eat now?

    • Silver Badger

      No air holes. This person isn’t worried about tomorrow anymore.

      • Lumpy Gaga

        “You’re supposed to take a fork and poke your face!!!!”

        • Silver Badger

          It’s too late for the person in the picture.

          • Uncle Mark

            Can we use him as a Halloween disco ball then?

          • Lumpy Gaga

            No. The ceiling is just drywall.

          • clay

            It’s okay– it’s Halloween; being lit from below is thematic.

    • Uncle Mark

      I always try to form myself into a swan, but I always end up looking more like a car wreck. ☹️

    • Opinion Sousaphones

      Doing the tin-foil hat one better… it has its appeal.

  • I’m actually a little surprised. I thought being caught red-handed being a complete hypocrite was no longer the sort of thing that made a Republican resign in shame.

    • Lizard

      Gift horse, I guess.

      • With Greeks inside? Sign me up.

        • Lizard

          Lol!

  • gaycuckhubby
    • Ninja0980

      I also hope people don’t let conservatives get all high and mighty.
      A man who talks about grabbing and groping women is now president.

      • gaycuckhubby

        A lesson for all of us, I suppose. No group, no ideology, no political party, no movement is free of predators. It’s a sad reality. And we look a little foolish when we focus on things other than the abuse.

    • Tomcat

      Don’t worry we will still hate him.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    FUCK THEM !

    Pending a successful last-minute challenge, the measure will take effect on Friday.

    https://twitter.com/Deanofcomedy/status/915956935865896960

    • Silver Badger

      Back in the bad old days of Colorado’s Amendment 2, merchants put a teddy bear sticker in their windows that declared the business to be a hate free zone. Mississippi merchants may wish to follow suit.

    • remember though. *we* can use this bill to discriminate too.

      • Karl Dubhe

        That’s not helpful for someone who doesn’t have the ability to discriminate.

        • silver lining. hey, i’m trying here.

      • UrsusArctos

        Nope, religion and race are protected classes. We’re not.

        • Not if we start a church.

          • UrsusArctos

            Outta be a cinch. Some of us are very good at kneeling.

        • Paul

          Well, you could say it’s because they’re hetrosexual.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      Awesome.

      I wanna know if my teacher believes in a homo-hatin’ sky-Daddy.

      I DEFINITELY wanna know if my doctor does.

    • AmeriCanadian

      As if Mississippi had enough reasons NOT to visit it.

    • Silver Badger

      Would this include public school teachers?

    • Tomcat

      Surely NOT public education teachers or any doctor that gets Medicare or any lawyer working for government money?????

      • Ken M

        Brings a new meaning to Doctor/Patient privilege.

    • UrsusArctos

      If you’re American there’s a better than 50% chance you’re living under the SAME lack of protections Mississippi just codified. Don’t assume you’re protected. MS declared their animus towards us, your state may be just as bigoted but hasn’t bothered to make it a matter of codified law.
      HB1523 is a distraction. A damned distraction, but still a fucking divisive distraction. It does NOTHING except codify into bigoted law what was and IS perfectly legal in MS and a majority of states before HB1523 came along to feed the superiority complex of deplorables.
      29 states allow discrimination in Public Accommodation, just like Mississippi
      28 states allow discrimination in Housing, just like Mississippi
      23 states allow discrimination in Employment, just like Mississippi

    • Ken M

      Will the SCOTUS decision regarding the baker have any effect on this?

  • Gustav2

    So the tax “reform” vote must be before the 21st.

    • reconciliation again?
      or 60 votes needed?

      • clay

        This is the House, not the Senate.

      • Gustav2

        The Senate can make it “reconciliation” any damn time they please.

        • clay

          Only if they have a budget to reconcile. [That’s why September 30 was a deadline.]
          The GOP could take the nuclear option of jettisoning the filibuster, however, any damn time they please (and are sure the Dem.s won’t recover).

  • Ninja0980

    https://twitter.com/guypbenson/status/916036046856605696?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Etweet
    To touch on the Weinstein story, this is why I don’t buy conservatives being outraged over this.
    Most aren’t upset with what Ailes, O’Reilly etc. did, only that they were held accountable for it.

    • Jean-Marc in Canada

      Agreed, they’re just mad their guys got caught. That said, Weinstein is proving to be equally a hypocrite by being liberal on social issues while still being a chauvinist pig where women are concerned. We liberal types are rightly upset because he’s been a pig…that’s the difference between the left and the right, we’re actually mad he did it.

      https://twitter.com/sirlthr69/status/916053039856922624

  • Macbill

    I heard somewhere he drank fetal tissue in his morning smoothie.

  • Tomcat

    OT: because I have heard enough of this guy.
    http://www.marketwatch.com/story/this-is-what-freaks-american-workers-out-the-most-about-robots-2017-10-04
    And this cones on the heels of a poll that says more people than ever believe the economy is getting in very good shape, WTF?

    • Karl Dubhe

      Not for long…

  • Paula

    Tim, sepukku is the only honorable thing to do.
    Who the fuck am I kidding! None of these people have any honor.

    • Jean-Marc in Canada

      Indeed. Honour is something alien to them and, as we all know, they don’t like ‘aliens’ of any kind.

    • Tomcat

      Trump does,,, Oh I thought you said on her.

    • David Walker

      It’s why writing “the honorable” before any of the critters’ names is always so much fun. What could be more sarcastic or hypocrisy-outing than to imply that anything about them is “honorable”?

  • Dagoril

    Time for the Oompaloompas to dance again!

  • Jean-Marc in Canada
    • Ben in Oakland

      It’s almost enough to make me wish that I had twitter if only to tell this nobody that she is no one.

      • Jean-Marc in Canada

        Please, allow me and let yourself tweet vicariously through me.

        • barrixines

          Between you and Rebecca, you just about have it covered on my behalf. And thank you

          • Adam King

            I agree completely. I very much appreciate both of them.

          • Jean-Marc in Canada

            awww shucks

        • Ben in Oakland

          Ok, here goes.

          Dear really Stupid Woman: you’re really stupid. We told you so. But you’re really stupid.

    • Tomcat

      You tell her Jon, you tell her.

      • Jean-Marc in Canada

        Not sure you’re mocking me or praising me. Either way, yeah, I do what I can 🙂

        • Tomcat

          Definitely NOT mocking you.

          • Jean-Marc in Canada

            Thanks sweety 🙂 It’s been one of those days and the reich just keeps making it worse.

          • Tomcat

            I don’t do Twitter or Facebook so you spoke for me and many others. Thank you

          • Jean-Marc in Canada

            Happy to do so. Funny thing is, most of the people I go after on twitter are notorious for blocking people (Trump) yet, not yours truly. As such, I see it as my duty to be as big a pain in the ass as to them as I am to my husbotter…sorry, I just had to go for the laugh.

  • yourmomsidol

    Another POS conservative deplorable.

  • Cackalaquiano

    Being a hateful bigot is all fun and games until your hipocrisy catches up to you.

  • Robincho

    That’s weird. According to yesterday’s information, it sounded like he was gonna take this to term…

    • David Walker

      …but then he realized that abortion was the only way. It’s something way too many women have had to face, and something he’ll never fully understand.

    • Ken M

      Longer he stayed on the Hill the dirtier this would have gotten. You can bet it was his own party that talked him into resigning. The GOP is in deep enough already for 2018. Even a single House member could cause them unneeded grief

  • gaycuckhubby
    • Lumpy Gaga

      Quiet genocides are so much more kkklassy.

    • David Walker

      Because if it’s not on the interwebz, you can’t prove it. Or something.

    • Tomcat

      Screw them, they think he is great.

    • Jean-Marc in Canada
    • Daveed_WOW

      I have only profanity in response.

    • Blake J Butler

      Fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck.

    • Ken M

      Can we get the audio to go with that pic?

    • SoCalGal20

      Authoritarianism 101!

    • Ken M

      No wonder he thinks all his well, look where he took his walking tour. All smiles and dry.

  • Tomcat

    Tomorrows jobs report is going to be bleak but they are going to lie about the unemployment rate holding steady.

  • justme

    Republicants have been committing political suicide for months now….
    How many more before the election season even starts??

  • Gerry Fisher

    “I object to abortions for poor people, not for the rich and powerful!”

  • Tomcat
    • Michael

      Uh, I’d like to see the “proof” – criminal types are usually totally sexy

  • GayOldLady

    Why is it these christo hypocrites have to be caught with their PeePee in the wrong hole and their mistress outing their abortion demands before they’re jettisoned or quit ? You know some of his colleagues knew he was a phony long ago and covered for him.

    • Adam King

      They’re all phonies, and they all know it. That’s how it’s done. It’s a performance.

      • clay

        It’s been that way since ’76 when the GOP decided to use abortion and the gheys to drag the Fundamentalists kicking and screaming into the voting pool, rather than stay in their holy non-participation. It’s been an act to save themselves from Demographic and Racial change the whole time.

        • -M-

          First it was the Blah people, then abortion and the Gheys.
          Seriously. Abortion was one of the issues they tried early to motivate fundies, they weren’t interested but racism worked. New issues like abortion and ‘family values’ had to be ginned up and grafted on over time to keep the whole thing going.

  • gaycuckhubby
  • Henry Auvil

    Clearly he needs to spend less time with his family.

  • gaycuckhubby

    CNN is reporting that Mueller has met directly with Chris Steele who wrote the “pissgate” dossier

    • Henry Auvil

      Is America ready for the piss tapes? I think yes.

      • Paul

        FunnyOrDie really need to do a trailer for the pee pee tapes.

  • Henry Auvil

    “All those times I claimed to be ‘pro-life’, I was talking about MY life. Screw anybody else’s. I’m a Republican.”

  • When an unwanted pregnancy will fuck up a woman’s life, they’re entirely in favor of forcing her to carry the fetus to term—even if it might kill her.

    When a woman’s pregnancy unwanted by a man will fuck up his life, he’s entirely in favor of urging her to abort it.

    This is what it means when we talk about the inherent misogyny and male privilege in our culture.

    • Lazycrockett

      Its not bout the fetus.

      • Never was. And the proof of it is how these so-called Pro-Life (sic) people are nearly always against guaranteed OB/GYN and maternity healthcare, against guaranteed healthcare for children, and not coincidentally often in favor of capital punishment.

    • UrsusArctos

      It’s a property rights issue, not a civil rights issue. /snark

      • Pretty much, yup. We wimmen s’posed to be the chattel property of our husbands, fathers, or other male relatives.

        It’s right there in the Bible. Hell, the last two of the Ten Commandments lump a man’s wives (plural) in with his servants, slaves, and farm animals.

    • SoCalGal20

      You know as well as I do that if cis men could get pregnant abortion clinics would be as common as McDonalds and Plan B would be handed out like candy.

      • Cattleya1

        “If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.” – Gloria Steinem.

    • Karl Dubhe

      If they really cared about the “unborn” they’d invest in researching ways of gestating fetus’ outside of the female’s womb. As with every other ‘product’ mechanizing it will be better.

      /fuck us all if that ever happens.

    • JCF

      “he’s entirely in favor of urging her to abort it.”

      I bet “when circumstances warrant”, they’re upset they can’t COMPEL her to abort it!

      “Pro-Life” has ZERO to do w/ human life. It’s about CONTROLLING FEMALES. Period!

    • Ben in Oakland

      A very good way to put it.

  • gaycuckhubby
    • clay

      “this summer” . . . so that’s NOT why he was pulled of Air Force One before it left for Vegas. Damn.

    • Lazycrockett

      Probably some device the Russians installed when they went and visited the Oval Office.

    • What this likely means is nearly everybody in Trump’s inner circle of staff and advisors who have personal phones is likely compromised, too.

  • boobert

    Can’t the democratic governor appoint a replacement?

  • gaycuckhubby

    Ummm… how did I miss Rep Ruben Kihuen Democrat of Nevada?
    Hottie!

  • JP
    • JackFknTwist

      Bigly !

    • The pee tape is real.

      The recordings of other “sexual perversions” as cited in the dossier are real.

      The blatant corruption and attempts to evade existing U.S. financial sanctions laws so Russian oligarchs could launder money through Trump’s then-failing real estate empire are real.

      The fact America’s president is entirely compromised by the Russian government, willingly, is real.

      • JP

        Maybe they got lost in the sauce, but what were the other perversions? Although I wouldn’t really call pee pee a perversion pe se, but the reasoning behind it was disturbing.

        • Ben in Oakland

          It is a perversion if you are president of the United States. It isn’t if you’re the cashier at the local kwikeemart.

      • Danieruw

        I personally don’t want to see any of the recordings BUT I want all the powers that be and all drumpf’s damn supporters and cabinet members and judicial appointments and any other repugnican scum to view them in high-def multiple times!

        • GeoffreyPS

          I would have a viewing party for all my friends. Play it fast forward, add some Benny Hill music, good times!

  • Leftside Annie

    BOOM!!! Another Republican hypocrite bites the dust!!!!!

  • dcurlee

    Personally I like to see women so self loathing to sleep with that

  • JT
    • Ben in Oakland

      You should see the photoshopped porn of Merlin and Arthur. Absolutely adorable.

  • bkmn

    Don’t be surprised if in a month or two he resurfaces as a pastor.

  • Heaventree

    Hahahahahahaha—fuck that guy

  • Nowhereman

    “The next chapter of his life”. HAH!

  • ian

    Good news. There will be a special election, and the GOP is already crowing about how it’ll be a win for another GOP candidate. Gerrymandering etc.

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    I’m glad he got bounced but I got to say I HATE that you can steal healthcare and push killing machines and say insanely racist bullshit and stay but it’s genital shenanigans that get you fired.

  • Oh, Parker
    • Lee Grupsmith-Pedersen

      Rather harsh for the poor horse, but whatev…

  • JoyZeeBoy

    And he’s One Thousand Percent Hypocrite!

  • Mike Knife

    Since he is a psychotherapist he will go back to doing Ex Gay Therapy and torturing LGBTQ people while their parents pay to have their children tortured and killed.

  • CJAS

    Co-sponsors federal anti-abortion legislation while asking his mistress to get an abortion. My head hurts.