OPEN THREAD: Alabama Senate Runoff Results

The New York Times reports:

Alabama votes today in the Republican runoff to fill the United States Senate seat vacated by Jeff Sessions, now the attorney general. Polls close at 8 p.m. Eastern. The winner will face the Democratic nominee, Doug Jones, a former United States attorney, on Dec. 12.

Northern Alabama may end up being a pivotal region, with Senator Luther Strange and Roy Moore, a former State Supreme Court justice, facing off. The area was a stronghold of Representative Mo Brooks, who came in third in the primary. Since then, Mr. Strange has targeted Mr. Brooks’s home base of Huntsville, and President Trump campaigned for him there last week.

Over all, the race most likely hinges on turnout of Mr. Moore’s rural base and Mr. Strange’s supporters around Birmingham and Mobile. To offset his rival’s dedicated backers, Mr. Strange is counting on a larger number of voters — beyond those who participated in the primary.

Follow the live results here or here.

  • Ninja0980

    First post!

    • Reality.Bites

      Dumb as a post! (the candidates)

    • Sam_Handwich

      back in the day at AmericaBlog whoever got to the comment section first would post “Frist!” (because Bill Frist was senate majority leader)

      • FAEN

        What an asshole he was and continues to be.

        • Moebym of the Returners

          Mr. Bill “I Can Diagnose Terri Schiavo From a Video” Frist

          • TampaDink

            Everyone seemed to jump on that bandwagon…from Frist to our then Gov. Shrub, to the mother fucking pope.

          • -M-

            They wanted to have her hauled up to D.C. for them. The ghouls.

            She was either a living corpse or (according to them) a very ill woman, either way the suggestion was disrespectful and insane.

          • Todd20036

            And Frist may be a doctor, but he is not a neurologist.

  • matrem

    There are no winners.

    • another_steve

      Rooting for Moore.

      His election to the Senate will hasten the demise of the Republican Party.

      • Lizard

        With the added bonus that no one will take him seriously.

        I mean, don’t get me wrong. I hate the guy and wish he would drop dead.

        • gaycuckhubby

          We thought Trump wouldn’t be taken seriously, in many ways he’s not. But he is in power and can fuck up a lot of things for a lot of people. For a long time.

          • Lizard

            That’s true. Sorry.

      • FAEN

        I’m not sure about that.

        • another_steve

          It’s essential that Democrats paint the Republican Party as the Party of Roy Moore.

          Roy Moore represents the deplorable voting block of America today.

          No more than 32-36 percent of all Americans who vote.

          • FAEN

            Sure I agree. Be nice if we could get rid of gerrymandering as well.

          • Craig Howell

            Irrelevant in statewide races for Senator or Governor.

          • FAEN

            I realize that but I still want gerrymandering taken care of.

          • gaycuckhubby

            Essential Democrats paint Republicans as the party of Trump

          • FAEN

            I’d say the party of stupid but that seems to be a quality GOP voters holding dear.

          • another_steve

            Possibly a mistake, that. Trump is ephemeral – here today, gone tomorrow.

            Let’s paint the Republican Party as the Party of Roy Moore.

          • Ningsisa

            Sadly that 32-36 percent is often concentrated in key areas that can screw up an election.

      • ultragreen

        Well, hopefully they won’t drag the entire country down with them.

        • scottrose

          They already have.

      • gaycuckhubby

        I think that’s what a lot of Stein/Johnson/Manning voters thought in November

        • FAEN

          Fucking purity/protest voters.

      • Todd20036

        Trump is in Strange’s camp. That’s enough for me to root for Moore in this monstrosity of an election.

        • clay

          Bannon is in Moore’s camp . . .

          • Todd20036

            Bannon is an idiot, but he’s a neutered idiot.

            Trump still has power, so he’s worse.

      • teeveedub

        It’s been said that McConnell and other mainstream Republicans know how toxic Moore is. So, yes. If there’s a possibility that Moore gums up the works for the GOP in the Senate, I’m all for it.

      • (((GC)))

        From your mouth to Ceiling Cat’s ears!

        • another_steve

          All cats listen and keep track, GC. All cats keep tabs.

          Dogs are like, “I’m yours. Tell me what you want. I fill your demand.”

          Cats are like, “I’ve heard that. I’ve noted it. Obey me or you’re fucked.”

          • (((GC)))

            … Cats are like… “Obey me…”

            We do work to keep our humans well-trained:
            https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lwGvB2r9Mac

          • another_steve

            That’s exactly it, GC. Every cat caregiver recognizes it.

            When I get out of bed in the morning and open my bedroom door, my cat is waiting there with a sign that reads, “You’re old and ugly and I was once worshiped as a god by the Egyptians. Feed me, bitch.”

          • (((GC)))

            Or even simply, “Good morning. You have the opposable thumbs and the treat bag. Feed me. Now.”

  • NZArtist

    The problem with hoping that the craziest Republican wins the runoff so voters will pick the sane Democrat in the elections is that the voters have been picking the craziest.
    So… fuck all that.

  • FAEN

    Bat Shit Crazy vs Super Dooper Bat Shit Crazy!

    Shouldn’t that be one of Alabama’s many slogans?

    • Andrea_Rae

      which is which?

      • FAEN

        Comic book villain to be is just Bat Shit Crazy.

  • Judas Peckerwood

    Some Republican fee-fees will be majorly hurt regardless of the outcome, so there is that as a sliver lining.

  • Mike in NC

    It’s Alien vs Predator…whoever wins, we lose.

    • Circ09

      True. But the Predators could be mistaken for heroes. Or at least sentient hunters with coded morals we could understand. These two, not so much.

      To me, this is like the Dewhurst Vs Cruz showdown in Texas. People were pissed at me for voting for Cruz in the primary (Dino side wasn’t a race). But I wanted America to get a good look at extremist crazy. Dewhurst would have voted the same only he could disguise himself better and would have been impossible to dislodge.

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  • TampaDink

    Alabama’s primary function is to provide a buffer for FL & GA from MS.

    • JWC

      is that good or bad

      • TampaDink

        I’m sometimes not entirely certain.

        • JWC

          oh….OK

  • safari
    • FAEN

      Oy!

    • safari

      (Btw, the info on the page this gif came from would make this cat 94 years old right now)

      • Bad Tom

        Cats were cute that long ago.
        This has the look of a film transfer. Note the scratches on certain frames. (Not by the cat.)

      • Bad Tom

        1923. LOLCATS has much deeper roots than we suspected.

  • Bluto
    • safari
      • gaycuckhubby

        What’s with the TOF revival?

        • safari

          I don’t know. I do like it, though.

          • gaycuckhubby

            I kinda do, in a macho, leather drag kinda way. But too retro/camp for me.

          • Tom Furgas

            My only beef (please excuse the expression) with Tom Of Finland is that all his “subjects” or “models” are clones; thick lips, cleft chin, heavy brows, mustaches, etc. I mean, there are lots of different ways for men to be attractive!

          • gaycuckhubby

            Exactly.
            It’s a Bromos wet dream (or Grindr profile*)
            *no fats, no fems, no blacks, no asians
            #masc4masc

          • David Walker

            I think you need to put at least some historical perspective on it. Is there anything you absolutely adored, coveted, felt was gospel truth when you were young that is made fun of today, and you’re not particularly happy that what you held dear is the butt of jokes? Kinda like that.

          • gaycuckhubby

            I totally get it in the historical sense. I was just questioning why is being revived now.

          • David Walker

            Nostalgia, at least for men of a certain age. I think, too, part of it is the graphic punch of it and maybe it is a reaction to, as you said, “bromance.” There wasn’t so much bromance, I suspect, as there was a desire to fuck. I was in my late 20s and early 30s during the ’70s. There was a liberation in his art that felt refreshing and true…and primal. Our tribe was finding its feet.

          • another_steve

            No stigmatizing, please, of sexual fantasy.

            All sexual fantasy is good. No exceptions. Absolutely. No. Exceptions.

            Some sexual acts are evil, but no sexual fantasy is evil.

          • ETownCanuck

            He drew what he liked, I can’t fault him for that.

          • David Walker

            There were plenty of artists using other “types” as models. However, if you spent all of your life being regarded as a fag or sissy or weakling or whatever other degrading comment came to mind and you saw these obviously gay butch numbers glorifying male sexuality…I appreciated it. And, yes, it was liberating.

          • another_steve

            That’s because you’re a slut, safari.

        • John Boily

          Documentary

          • gaycuckhubby

            Oh yeah, I forgot they made a movie about him.
            That explains it.
            I guess trends really don’t happen organically, they’re all commercially driven.

        • Nic Peterson

          I don’t need a reason. I’ve enjoyed his work since I was a baby gay.

        • another_steve

          You had to be there.

          In the early 70s (I was there), Tom of Finland represented sexual freedom. Sexual fantasizing freedom.

          Sounds quaint today – but back then, it was revolutionary.

          • shellback

            I was there with you – figuratively speaking.

          • another_steve

            Thank you, shellback. My only regret – then, as today – is that I am/was pee-shy.

            My requirement that I pee in a cubical cost me endless dates and endless possible boyfriends.

          • David Walker

            I think that’s why, as I was trying to find my way, I preferred the somewhat darker atmosphere…the trucks, for example. Some bars had rooms that were not adequately lit by some standards. Those standards were not mine, however.

          • another_steve

            Love to you, David, for the “trucks” reference.

            Many of our generation are no longer here to remember them, but the NYC trucks represented a symbolic end to the suppression of our beautiful gay male sexuality.

            Remembering, here and now, our brothers who did not survive that beautiful, dawning moment.

          • JT

            You can meet the most interesting people at the trough.
            https://i.warosu.org/data/g/img/0496/51/1439490505352.png

          • another_steve

            Lol. So primitive, those pee-troughs.

            As a twink, I was much in demand. The boys wanted to see my pee-pee. But alas, I was pee-shy and showed them naught in public.

            I like to think my charm and personality compensated for that, though.

            In my heyday I was never lacking for a Saturday night date.

    • fuzzybits
  • Cackalaquiano

    Come on Rapture! Hurry!

  • fuzzybits
    • teeveedub

      “You’re tearing me apart!”

    • David Walker

      Spoken like a true Libra person.

  • Lazycrockett
    • NZArtist

      Doesn’t it mess with your head when an animated GIF synchs up with your music player?

  • gaycuckhubby

    Prediction: Moore wins by 11

    • FAEN

      If only I could smack him with his bible 11 times.

      • ByronK

        …. and finally put the damned thing to good use.

        • FAEN

          My sentiments exactly.

  • Ninja0980

    O/T But anyone else watch NCIS?
    All I can say is I hope this season is better then last.

    • FAEN

      Never seen it.

      • Ninja0980

        Been on since 03.
        Spin of JAG.
        Only reason I got into was because of the parents.

        • FAEN

          Understood.

          • Ninja0980

            Hubby and I still liked Castle, Cold Case etc. better but those are no longer on.:(

          • FAEN

            I LOVED Cold Case! What was the other one about missing people on CBS?

          • Ninja0980

            Without A Trace.
            Was good until Season 6, then jumped the shark.

          • FAEN

            Yes-I loved that show.

          • SoCalGal20

            I loved Cold Case.

  • Will Parkinson

    Don’t care who it is as long as the Democrat beats them. And isn’t batshit crazy. And… damn. We’re screwed.

  • ultragreen

    The polls have all indicated that Roy Moore will win the Republican primary in Alabama. That means most Republicans in Alabama are completely crazy. I wonder if the GOP establishment might try to rig the election to favor Strange?

    http://heavy.com/news/2017/09/alabama-senate-runoff-polls-special-election-polling-roy-moore-vs-luther-strange/

    • Circ09

      Well, this is the tribe of peoples that put Roy Moore back on the bench at the State Supreme Court after being shitcanned from his previous judicial spot. So it is a little too late to only notice now how batshit crazy they are!
      Besides, I don’t think the gop know how to rig an election anymore when it doesn’t involve suppressing the minority vote. It’s a lost art now that they can’t stuff ballot boxes with dead peoples’ names.

      • TampaDink

        The GOP knows how to rig an election but they require help from Vlad’s people to pull it off.

  • Ernest Bowen

    Always , always vote for the lesser evil.

    • WNY

      And that would be………?

      • Karl Dubhe

        Beelzebub.

    • ultragreen

      Except Republicans in Alabama may think that Roy Moore, who is the craziest of the crazy, is the lesser evil.

    • Todd20036

      Tell that to the Bernie Bros. They helped unleash this mess.

    • Circ09

      But which is really the lesser evil here?!? One is so batshit he will terrify the nation. The other is just a run of the mill Trumpanzie. They will both vote the same. In my eyes, at least the terrified nation might re-think Moore and he helps further discredit the GOP but I think citizens will ignore Strange as just another typical Southerner.

      • Misutaa Roboto

        If we can really expect them to vote more or less the same, then Moore might be slightly better to have simply because there’s a chance he’ll feel slighted by Trump and *may* ultimately be more movable on convicting Trump should he be impeached. He’d also probably be more keen on having a fellow theocrat as president, which would also make this more likely. I do think Pence is less of a threat than Trump because of his comparative stability, lack of charisma, and the fact that he’d be weighed down by the scandal of a Trump impeachment.

        That said, Moore is one of the most disgusting theocrats out there. I really never thought I could see him as a less bad option.

  • Moore will win because Alabama never stopped believing it was part of the Confederacy and not the United States. Hence they don’t care when their elected officials are impeached.

  • Moebym of the Returners

    What a choice – Trump’s candidate or Mr. Christian Taliban.

    “Laugh about it, shout about it
    When you’ve got to choose
    Every way you look at this you lose”

    • Bad Tom

      “Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio?
      A nation turns its lonely eyes to you
      Woo woo woo
      What’s that you say, Mrs. Robinson?
      Joltin’ Joe has left and gone away
      Hey hey hey, hey hey hey”

  • Rocco

    Roy Moore (George Wallace redux) will win going away. Alabama:”The Land That Time Forgot.”

  • ByronK

    So if one of them wins and replaces Sessions, do they have to live in a tree and learn how to bake?

    • TampaDink

      Strange cookies have been being served on a temporary basis for several months.

  • safari
  • TampaDink
    • gaycuckhubby

      I’m sure you would take a knee (or two) for him. 😉

      • TampaDink

        Damned gay, I would!!! In a fucking heartbeat!

    • Ninja0980

      Love a man with an accent.

      • TampaDink

        As do I.

    • bambinoitaliano

      I’ll take both knees to my only beloved redneck.

  • NZArtist

    Bone cancer, or pancreatic cancer. Choices, choices.

    • safari

      I’d go for pancreatic. It kills quicker.

      • NZArtist

        So, Donald Trump then.

        • clay

          Yes, pancreatic cancer for Donald Trump.

      • bambinoitaliano

        As long as it’s not my liver. I’m not done washing it with alcohol.

    • Todd20036

      You can rule out brain cancer.

  • Cuberly

    Vote for the leopard eating your face candidate.

    Vote for the cheetah eating your face candidate.

    • FAEN

      “I can’t believe the leopard ate my face!”

      • NZArtist

        “I only voted for him because I thought he’d eat other people’s faces.”

      • M Jackson

        “In front of my salad?”

        • FAEN

          LMAO. Thank you for that.

    • fuzzybits

      Do you get a face transplant afterwards? I want mine done southwestern.

      • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

        Don’t. You’ll look like Arpaio. Trust me on this one.

        • fuzzybits

          Eeeekkk!

    • Todd20036

      Hmm. I’ve had a bear eat my ass. Does that count?

  • Nic Peterson

    Does the GOP have vote suppression strategies for primaries? Just wondering out loud.

    • bambinoitaliano

      They can’t tell one deplorables from another.

  • IAMBOWLINGGREEN

    Both of them need a big gay Jesus in their lives …

    https://media.giphy.com/media/rTbCwVwofxcic/giphy.gif

  • Lazycrockett
  • Scribble Writer 🌹 ☭

    close race to the guillotine here…

  • Michael R
    • safari

      She and I both

    • Lumpy Gaga

      “Is that a tiny gun in your pocket, Rudy, or are you happy to see me?”

  • Ninja0980
    • FAEN

      Preach it!

    • SoCalGal20

      Awesome!

  • That_Looks_Delicious

    OT – Well, this is a new language fail even for Trump: shifting syllables.

    (It’s Mariano Rajoy, not Marianora Joy). Covfefe!

    (Also, NoKo? Is that supposed to be like Kimye?)

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/912809860965613568

    • safari

      (He’s also a prime minister, not a president)

      • That_Looks_Delicious

        That one could be excused, since the PM’s official title in Spain is “presidente del gobierno.”

    • fuzzybits

      You would think the people around him would repeat the name a few times so he wouldn’t make an ass out of himself (one more time.)

      • -M-

        I wonder if they care anymore.
        Nah-mih-be-ah

    • IAMBOWLINGGREEN

      Dotard and his cult can’t remove millions from health care. Sad. Oh, well, back to provoking a nuclear war.

    • Lars Littlefield

      Zapatero was a much better president of Spain’s government.

      • M Jackson

        Not as good as Zap Atero.

      • That_Looks_Delicious

        Yes, he was, in many ways. Unfortunately, when the Eurozone crisis hit, he didn’t quite have the courage of his convictions and the “Spanish Socialist Workers’ Party” turned out to be the “SpanishEuropean Bankers’ Party” under pressure. It did a lot of brand damage to the PSOE and pushed voters both to the the right and to the far left. And Spain’s economy has been growing faster than the other Eurozone countries under Rajoy so he will get some credit for that from voters regardless of whether he had anything to do with it or not.

    • gaycuckhubby

      Is he the one with the badass goth kids?

      • That_Looks_Delicious

        No, that’s Zapatero. Rajoy actually smacked his son on live TV once.

        • gaycuckhubby

          Well, shit.

        • bambinoitaliano

          Is he related to the Greyjoys?

  • Treant

    I’m just going to bet on Moore for right now. I’d be very pleasantly surprised if Al Abama actually voted for the very slightly less toxic Strange.

    ETA; It’s kind of like Moore is polonium and Strange is thallium. Both will kill you, you just need more thallium to do it and it takes longer.

  • Lazycrockett
    • safari

      Win how?

      • WarrenHart

        FEMA camps.

    • That_Looks_Delicious

      In a culture war, Trump is unarmed.

    • Treant

      Win with what resources? And how? Frankly, he doesn’t even have all the white folks, like my husband and I, and tons of people on here.

    • gaycuckhubby

      Fuck him.

      • Treant

        No, thank you.

        • gaycuckhubby

          I wouldn’t fuck Trump with Jerry Falwells decayed dick

          • Todd20036

            I’d fuck Trump with Bannon’s dick… if I get to cut it off first.

          • bambinoitaliano

            I might take a peek at a pic of you holding Bannon’s dick. That as far as I’m willing to go.

          • clay

            Do I get to wear a bio-hazard suit and double-gloves?

          • bambinoitaliano

            I’m not going anywhere near the decaying dick even if you give me a ten foot pole.

    • SoCalGal20

      “In private, Trump admits he’s a racist douchebag”.

      • gaycuckhubby

        And in public he just suggests it

      • bambinoitaliano

        In private he just like to piss all over himself.

  • gaycuckhubby
    • safari

      *barf*

    • fuzzybits

      Oh hell no!

    • IAMBOWLINGGREEN

      ‘React’ to the NFL controversy ? No feed it on it like vulture he is.

    • Lars Littlefield

      React? I hope they convulse uncontrollably on the floor while foaming at the mouth. That’s a reaction I could appreciate.

      • TampaDink

        Isn’t that what they always do?

    • -M-
      • gaycuckhubby

        Parker is a goddamn national treasure

        • Bryan

          Meatball’s pretty great too.

          • gaycuckhubby

            Adorable!

      • M Jackson

        I’m glad for the many tweets questioning the wtf way he holds the cigarette, by the lit end, a way that nobody who has ever smoked a cigarette has ever held a cigarette, ever.

        • That_Looks_Delicious

          Well, maybe once. But you’d never do it again.

          • M Jackson

            I probably did that when I was drunk, but that’s between me and you, don’t tell anyone else.

        • -M-

          That and the all around insane mannerisms of how he handles it.

        • 2guysnamedjoe

          Maybe one day he’ll stick the lit end in the wrong orifice.

          Maybe he already does.

    • Ninja0980

      I’ll pass.

    • M Jackson

      Abandon hope all ye who enter here.

    • Bryan

      Michelle Malkin should be fun!

      *vomits*

    • SoCalGal20

      Dammit, he beat Rachel in their first matchup with his timeslot change. WHY DO PEOPLE WATCH HIM?

      http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/tv-news-fox-news-hannity-tops-maddow-9-oclock-debut-1043157

      • Karl Dubhe

        Because Orwell was right. 🙁

        Two, or sixty, minutes of hate is more appealing than the same amount of reason for too many of us homo sapiens sapiens fuckwits.

      • 2guysnamedjoe

        Same reason they watch Nascar and air shows: crashes, flames, injuries.

    • Lumpy Gaga
  • Sam_Handwich

    so what kind of voting machines do they use in AL?

    • Treant

      You put any mark next to the picture of the white guy you want to vote for. They had to do that due to the lack of ability to read down there.

    • That_Looks_Delicious

      That sounds like the beginning of a joke.

    • MBear

      Take a shit on a rooftop. Some turds roll one way, some the other. The biggest pile of shit wins.

    • Reality.Bites

      Ones blue state taxpayers paid for.

    • bambinoitaliano

      One that even Putin call off his team of hackers and gave them a night off.

  • Sam_Handwich

    with 541 votes in, Moore leads by 1

    😀

  • Sam_Handwich
    • clay

      I wish the other Republicans were merely banal.

    • Treant

      He’s still a Republican, so I’m checking the other hand for the poison blade he’s about to bury in my back.

      • Sam_Handwich

        well yeah. but he’d make a great communications director or press secretary. very sharp and thoughtful. oh how i miss that

      • scottrose

        On same-sex marriage, McMullin said in 2016 that he believes in the “traditional marriage between a man and a woman” but he “respects” the Supreme Court’s decision in Obergefell v. Hodges (which found that same-sex couples have a constitutional right to marry) and thinks it is “time to move on” from the issue.[47] McMullin’s mother is in a same-sex marriage, having married another woman after separating from his father, and McMullin has said that “As far as my mother’s marriage is concerned, I believe in the sanctity of traditional marriage. It is an important part of my faith. My mother has a different view. That is OK. I love her very much.”

    • gaycuckhubby

      I hope I won’t get flamed too hard for this. But I’m an Evan fan. If there was ever an “unity” ticket with him on it I would be hard pressed not to vote for him.

    • Treant

      Plesae, I’ve been called worse than that. Today.

    • fuzzybits

      As Olivia Soprano would say,”oh poor you.”

  • IAMBOWLINGGREEN

    Is Moore’s son still on drugs and knocking himself out with Xanax…

    • Treant

      Didn’t they ship him off to rehab recently, probably to avoid the Shame of him being around for the voting? Or was he arrested? There was some story.

      • IAMBOWLINGGREEN

        8 arrests in 5 years… Those traditional values don’t seem to be working…

        http://www.alreporter.com/2016/11/28/roy-moores-son-arrested-for-the-8th-time/

        • Treant

          They never do. One grandson of a reverend I know knocked up his girlfriend at 17–and his entire family tried to force her to have an abortion.

          Another one is just a total friggin’ mess of a human being.

      • 2guysnamedjoe

        They should’ve sent him off to the New York Military Academy when they had the chance. I’ve heard it works wonders on chronic fuckup kids.
        Somewhat OT: Recollections by one of 45’s classmates at NYMA:

        http://www.thedailybeast.com/i-showered-with-donald-trump-at-military-school

        Seems he was always the brat he is now, and apparently NYMA exacerbated his sociopathy.

  • Lazycrockett

    PR is a nightmare.

    • Sam_Handwich

      you don’t understand how bigly this thing called the Atlantic ocean is. it’s yuge, believe me.

    • Ninja0980

      But FEMA twitter says otherwise.
      How dare you suggest that the response doesn’t match what the Trump folks are saying*
      *snark!

  • Treant

    The votes are coming in from Sisterfucker, AL and Moore is taking a slight lead at 500 to 400.

  • gaycuckhubby
    • Treant

      I think she’s taking some time to be a grandmother and writer and general pundit. Good for her.

      Honestly, a ten year old with Google could debunk him and host “No, Donald!”

      • gaycuckhubby

        I mean, I would watch that too

  • Sam_Handwich

    i guess we’re keeping our eyes on Mobile, Jefferson and Montgomery counties?

    • We are? Either way, a monster wins.

      • Sam_Handwich

        you’ll want to buy my new book…

        How i Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Shitshow

        • I’ll wait for the movie.

          • Sam_Handwich

            there will be a breakfast cereal, too: Shit Flakes

          • With a free butt plug in every box?

          • Sam_Handwich

            ypup. cuz each serving contains 5,000% of recommended daily fiber

          • fuzzybits

            Must be modeled after Colon Blow.

          • Bryan

            It makes the milk chocolatey.

    • Treant

      Guess so. Personally, I’m just here for the snark. Both candidates suck, Moore has a slightly greater probability of losing in December, but by far the highest probability is that they elect a Republican joke to the Senate.

      Al Abama government as usual, in other words.

      • Sam_Handwich

        It’s a big middle finger to McConnell. He’ll be even more politically wounded. Think he’ll retire?

        • Treant

          Frankly, no. You’ll get rid of McConnell when he dies or he’s voted out–or loses the Senate head/minority head position.

          • Sam_Handwich

            i think he’s smart enough to read the writing on the wall. and maybe the mail order bride will quit her job too before the indictments start flying around the WH.

          • Treant

            Too Late. You were touched by a Donald, you were tarnished by a Donald. And you are going to be indicted. 🙂

            Besides, as a Senator, Turtle has the opportunity to bury the evidence that he, too, colluded with Russia in clearly treasonous ways.

  • Ninja0980

    Watching Buzzfeed live elections results.
    This race is getting ready to call for Moore it looks like.

    • Treant

      -17% without Mobile and Birmingham means zip; Birmingham has 70% of the population of AL all by itself.

  • David Walker

    There is one southerner I trust and enjoy. This came out just this evening.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfObia8aUZY&feature=push-u&attr_tag=prFJHbRxGoKkVuCa-6

    • clay

      Damn . . . reading to fast . . . saw the “came out just this evening” . . . and my mind took a wrong turn.

      • David Walker

        Understood…and don’t I wish!

        • Karl Dubhe

          Raaarrrr woof!

          (hic)

  • Lazycrockett

    US Homeland Security Will Start Collecting Social Media Info on All Immigrants October 18th

    https://gizmodo.com/us-homeland-security-will-start-collecting-social-media-1818777094

    • Treant

      I suppose it gives them cover for not doing shit about Puerto Rico. Or the October hurricanes that are currently forecast (four; eight storms total) after the wind shear breaks up next week.

  • clay

    Moore is taking rural and white populations. Strange is taking urban and mixed counties

    • Tawreos

      Lower education seems to prefer the more hateful of the candidates.

      • i think we can file that under “duh”.
        just look at religion.

        • bambinoitaliano

          Bastards don’t even read the entire bible. They only need to read one fucking book!

    • That_Looks_Delicious

      Steven Bannon headlined a rally for Moore in Alabama this weekend. Breitbart is very invested in this race for some reason. I don’t understand why.

      • because he’s not trump’s guy.

      • bambinoitaliano

        Because he is not Republican.

  • Ross

    As always, Keith is doing our country a great service.
    .
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yoR2gCxsyk

  • Sam_Handwich

    If i hadn’t quit my tuesday gig last week, i’d be sitting there right now plunking out tenor lines from the bach Christmas oratorio.

    YAY!

  • Tawreos

    I have such mixed emotions about this. If Strange wins then the slightly less evil of the choices wins. If Moore wins then the bigger evil wins, but the people of Alabama have chosen against Trump and that will piss him off.

    • Sam_Handwich

      Moore will be nothing but a headache for McConnell …. another Cruz/Lee/Paul. so there’s that

      • SoCalGal20

        I’m waiting for him to insist on carrying his gun on the Senate floor.

        • Tawreos

          He’ll have to get his wife to give him permission to borrow her gun

    • IAMBOWLINGGREEN
      • JohnJay

        This is fake, right? I can’t imagine he said this.

        • IAMBOWLINGGREEN

          No, he really said it.

        • He actually said it DURING the speech, as he was ad-libbing. Apparently some random neurons fired as he realized he was endorsing the guy McConnell wanted and who would probably lose, thereby once again proving Donald’s touch is death.

          Everything he sees is through the lens of “does this make me look good or bad?” Nothing else matters to him.

    • Treant

      I’m pulling for Moore. Voting records will be identical, but Moore is a huge asshole and will further tarnish the Republican brand–except in the deep (shit) South.

      • Tawreos

        It looks like you are getting your wish.

  • Ninja0980

    One of the only “good” things about Moore winning the primary.
    Homocons like Guy Benson etc. are going to have to justify how someone who wants them in prison is better then a Democrat.
    I know they’ll come up with some BS but still, will be nice to watch them squirm.

    • Tawreos

      They’ll just ignore it like they always do.

  • SoCalGal20
    • loser.
      sad.
      pathetic.

    • ‘Acting head of DEA’ = Obama administration holdover, which the Trump administration has failed to nominate a replacement for.

      Context matters.

      • SoCalGal20

        Yeah so? The reason he’s resigning is because he’s convinced Trump has no respect for the law. That’s the context. It’s like Walter Schaub over at OGE.

        • bambinoitaliano

          That is his excuse. The wall is crumbling he is just side stepping away before he becomes the collateral damage of the shit gibbon.

          • SoCalGal20

            The guy is a very well-regarded career civil servant and Obama appointee.

  • Sam_Handwich

    opioid induced constipation commercials

    • Lazycrockett

      “How long have you been holding that in?”

      Ha ha ha ha

    • SoCalGal20

      The fact that there’s a whole market around that now is so fucked up.

      • I swear, half the medicines being marketed directly at people now are drugs intended to deal with side-effects or shortcomings of other drugs.

        • Treant

          Tell me about it. My neurologist raised my Effexor to control migraines. It’s working–sort of–but I now attempt to consume anything edible in sight. I now need a damn diet pill to deal with the Effexor’s weight gain.

          My cardiologist is not going to have nice things to say to me on Friday.

        • kareemachan

          What gets me is when the announcer solemnly says, “Don’t take (fill in the blank) if you are allergic to it” or “if you’ve been to an area with fungus”. HOW THE FUCK DO I KNOW EITHER ONE OF THESE IF THEY WON’T TELL YOU WHAT THE INGREDIENTS ARE OR WHERE THE FUNGUS IS?!?!

          • bambinoitaliano

            The announcer use to speed through the side effects until a new law told them to slow down. I’m sure if the shit gibbon have his way, it will be back to the old ways.

  • SoCalGal20

    Our real Presidents are helping Puerto Rico!

    https://twitter.com/barackobama/status/912724426709504000

    • Karl Dubhe

      They’ll show up at Trump’s funeral, to make sure the thing is dead.

      • clay

        I’m picturing a low budget film . . . possibly a musical.

        • Bryan

          I’m listening….

        • Beagle

          Or they could re-create the funeral scene from Charade. Without Audrey Hepburn as the widow, of course.

      • bambinoitaliano

        A few wooden stake and some silver bullets for measure.

    • oh damn. that’s gonna leave a mark on the idiot in chief.
      Seriously though, well done men and women.

      • Silver Badger

        I confused. Has one of our ex-presidents become trans?

        • no. i just assumed that some of our former first ladies would be pitching in some help too.

          • Silver Badger

            Thank you. I’m pretty sure the trans community didn’t really want any of them. Except maybe Jimmy Carter.

          • kareemachan

            If Obama even *thinks* about it, I’m gonna slap him silly.

    • Fafnir the thurifer

      People can also donate via The Hispanic Federation. https://hispanicfederation.org/unidos/ . The page is easy to use, and they emailed a good receipt right away.

  • clay

    NYT says Huntsville is the hinge, and it has no reporting, yet. It also has a relatively large block of voters. The rural counties are getting counts in quicker, so Moore’s edge should shrink, unless he get Mo Brooks’ Huntsville.

    • bambinoitaliano

      Preparation H could help.

  • David Walker

    Rachel Time!

  • That_Looks_Delicious

    OT – Our daily WTF? (Okay, it’s something like our 12th or 13th WTF today, but…)

    This is so grotesquely fascist. He’s planning a purge of Interior Dept. employees that aren’t “loyal to Trump”.

    Some other gems from the interview: “Fracking is proof that God’s got a good sense of humor and he loves us,” Zinke said without explanation.

    https://twitter.com/TrumpFirehose/status/912437590007193603

    • JohnJay

      I didn’t think you could easily fire civil servants. That would be like saying all government employees have to be republican or you’re out.

      • Craig Howell

        If the Spoils System was good enough for Andy Jackson, it’s good enough for Donald Trump!

    • SoCalGal20

      Only 1/3?

    • billbear1961

      And, therefore, the fascist goes on, they are not loyal to the flag or the country.

    • bambinoitaliano

      Only one third?! What the hells wrong with people?!!!

    • zhera

      How long before teachers and professors who won’t declare loyalty to the Orange Führer are fired, arrested, and sent to work camps?

    • Beagle

      At the federal level, government employees have to swear to uphold the Constitution. Loyalty to specific officeholders, not so much.

  • Dagoril

    It’s Kodos versus Kang all over again!

    • I voted for Kodos. It’s not my fault.

    • Karl Dubhe

      I spoiled my ballot, I’m sure it helped.

  • ian

    It’s a runoff election for the GOP nomination for Sessions former seat, not to actually replaced Sessions in the Senate. “The winner will face the Democratic nominee, Doug Jones, a former United States attorney, on Dec. 12.” Moore’s extremism might just give the DEM candidate Doug Jones a leg up (hopefully) in December. If not, Moore’s election to the Senate would be disruptive to the GOP. There is a reason the GOP is backing Luther Strange.

    • Sam_Handwich

      yep, he will barrel in like Carnival Cruz

  • Lars Littlefield

    OT: Ooooooooh, Chuck Rosenberg, head of the DEA, has just resigned in protest against Trump.

    Dish among yourselves.

    • Lizard

      I’m sure he’ll be replaced a year from now by someone unqualified and horrible.

      • Sam_Handwich

        Louie Gohmert!

        • greenmanTN

          Gohmert’s IQ is room temperature, for winter, during the Carter administration. (68 degrees)

          • Furface

            When will the rest of him achieve room temperature?

      • Lars Littlefield

        You think Trump will still in office a year from now?

        • Lizard

          Whatever deplorable Republican follows him.

        • Craig Howell

          If not Trump, then presumably Pence, and his choice would be every bit as deplorable as Trump’s.

        • Karl Dubhe

          We’re all gonna be dead by then if he is…

  • Ninja0980

    Looks like people are starting to call it for Moore.

    • Lars Littlefield

      I call Moore an asshole. Does that count?

      • Karl Dubhe

        Only if you qualify the ‘asshole’ with the word ‘cancerous’.

      • Ninja0980

        Yes.

  • Stephen Elliot Phillips

    The tea-party-fication of the senate

  • Lazycrockett
    • Lars Littlefield

      I think he looks more like he’s suffering from Stage Three cancer.

      • Tawreos

        Don’t tease…I mean, what a shame

      • WNY

        That would be awful…..

        for him.

    • Karl Dubhe

      Dr Google assures me that my pregnancy is going very well, for the 269’th month of a male pregnancy.

  • Ninja0980

    Red Sox are losing.. let’s hope it stays that way.

  • Lazycrockett
  • IAMBOWLINGGREEN

    If only Strange had pulled out a bigger gun… Sad.

    • Tawreos

      It wouldn’t have been hard to find a bigger gun than the one Moore pulled

  • MonochromeMouse

    Looks like trump’s endorsement of Strange isn’t doing shit to help him. If Moore wins it needs to be spun into a negative for trump.

  • billbear1961
    • kareemachan

      I just can’t get into Mahler all that much. Am I a bad person?

      • billbear1961

        Good lord, no!

      • MBear

        No. You’re normal

        • billbear1961

          lol

  • billbear1961
    • fuzzybits

      Lol.

      • billbear1961

        All hands on deck, sweetie!

        Batten down the hatches!

    • Lars Littlefield

      Reminds me of my favorite place to hide in Escondido, MX. Small eight cabana hotel. All have large screened in sleeping porches facing the beach. Electric generator turns off at 20:00. A great place to veg and zone out.

  • another_steve
  • Ninja0980

    O/T but this weekend the SNES classic comes out.
    Which means I’ll be the fun uncle again and teach my nephews and nieces what the 90’s were like game wise.

    • Treant

      Pixellated. I remember the 90’s as being extremely pixellated.

      Even the porn.

      • Ninja0980

        The games were.
        The porn… not so much.
        Didn’t get a chance to really look at that until 2002…

      • NZArtist

        It was years before I saw the bottom third of any porn pictures.

        • Karl Dubhe

          There’s a bottom third?

          • NZArtist
          • Karl Dubhe

            I may smoke too much pot…

            What are we talking about again?

            Teddy, the cat, says ‘hi’.

          • Karl Dubhe

            Nooooooooeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

          • Lumpy Gaga

            Ruined NZ for life. Now, when the bottom third of a pic shows, he goes limp.

      • another_steve

        1970s porn tended to be under-lit. The studios hadn’t quite mastered “lighting” yet.

        Old queers reading here will grok.

        • Silver Badger

          Too much yellow in the skin tones.

  • Sam_Handwich

    looks like this is over

    maybe Trump’s DOJ will find something to indict Moore over. lol

    • Treant

      Naw, Trump will simply state that he always supported Moore. Obviously, he even did a rally for Moore.

      • bambinoitaliano

        He will now. Against Doug Jones like by tomorrow morning.

    • clay

      They probably could . . . but Trump would fuck up and pardon him (without the normal clearances).

    • IAMBOWLINGGREEN

      57.6% – 42.4% margin with 35% precincts reporting :

      https://twitter.com/DecisionDeskHQ/status/912845110055981056

  • Sam_Handwich
    • Ninja0980

      But Dems can’t win races anymore!

      • Treant

        We’re in total disarray. No leadership, nor ability to compete any longer. Obviously.

        🙂

        • bambinoitaliano

          Pssssst! Stop being so obvious! You know there are watching. Wink .Wink.

    • Ross

      Did Trump win?

      Or did Russia steal New Hampshire for him?

      • Sam_Handwich

        well Hills won NH

        but she bused in voters from Sweden

    • Treant

      We’re moving further away from the Republicans being able to amend the Constitution unilaterally, which is nice.

      • Ninja0980

        Speaking of which, there is a vote on that here in NY this fall.
        I already have my no vote ready to go.

    • SoCalGal20

      That’s awesome! I saw earlier they were waiting for one more precinct to report and the GOP candidate was up by 59 votes at the time.

  • Lazycrockett
  • Ninja0980
  • Sam_Handwich

    The Handwich campaign is proclaiming victory in the Alabama republican senate runoff

    Playtime is over, motherfuckers.

  • Harveyrabbit

    I guess Strange’s black magic just wasn’t enough against Moore’s weensy little cap pistol. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b8a9218aac1aaefa1b6a36d4b7cdd40d25dd4c2194138ae6ce7a7a8049223211.jpg

  • Prost Seattle

    As the bus stated: Alabama deserves Roy Moore

    • Treant

      I thought it derserves Roy Moore…

      • Friday

        Now it’ll get derp-served by Roy Moore.

        • Treant

          It serves them right, if derpily.

          • (((GC)))

            Just a reminder: Moore got elected Chief Justice of the state supreme court, was removed for violating federal court orders (to remove his Ten Commandments monument), and was REELECTED, then suspended (for directing probate judges to enforce the state’s OVERTURNED marriage ban).

  • billbear1961

    Congratulations–the ACA is safe, sort of, for the time being; and I read bipartisan efforts will resume on the matter.

    Alexander Will Resume Bipartisan Health Care Talks

    “With the collapse of the GOP’s last-ditch effort to repeal Obamacare, Sen. Lamar Alexander (R-TN) said Tuesday he is restarting bipartisan talks to stabilize health insurance markets and bring down premiums,” the Tennessean reports.

    Alexander said he will consult with Sen. Patty Murray (D-WA) and other Republicans and Democrats “to see if senators can find consensus on a limited bipartisan plan that could be enacted into law to help lower premiums and make insurance available to the 18 million Americans in the individual market in 2018 and 2019.”

    David Nather: “There’s still no guarantee that they can get a deal — Alexander wants to give states more freedom from ACA rules than Murray does. But the fact that Alexander is willing to restart the talks, after walking away from them last week during the Graham-Cassidy effort, could be a sign that the repeal bill’s failure is reviving the prospects for ‘fixing’ the ACA.”

    https://politicalwire.com/2017/09/26/alexander-will-resume-bipartisan-health-care-talks/

    • (((GC)))

      You want stable health coverage?

      Expanded and Improved Medicare for All.

      Just remove the age 65+ requirement.

      • billbear1961

        Hear, hear!

      • Treant

        …but close the donut holes for good and all, and what’s this 80% coverage? I got 100% sick and needed 100% of that script, there’s no reason I shouldn’t have a copay, but it shouldn’t be 20% of $200.

        • SoCalGal20

          Medicare has coinsurance, not a copay, hence, the 20% rather than a flat fee. I’d say rather than coinsurance Medicare should go to a copay system. Although from what I can tell, Medicare HMOs are allowed to charge copays (some of them quite ridiculous for ambulance service, which I bill).

          • (((GC)))

            John Conyers’ Expanded and Improved Medicare for All bill specifically has NO cost-sharing for its wide array of covered benefits. No coinsurance, no copays, no deductibles, no nothing. It’s pure and simple universal single-payer, like civilized nations have.

            https://www.govtrack.us/congress/bills/115/hr676

          • SoCalGal20

            Nice!

    • ultragreen

      The Republican-controlled Congress is incapable, I think, of passing a better health care bill, even with some cooperation from Democrats. Republicans in Congress are only interested in destroying health care, not fixing it. I would be wary of any ‘bipartisan’ bill.

      • Sam_Handwich

        i think the bigger problem is the House. it would probably pass with full Dem support and a handful of republicans, but would Ryan even bring it to the floor?

        • ultragreen

          I’m not certain that even Mitch McConnell is capable of bringing a better health care bill up for a vote in the U.S. Senate.

    • KarenAtFOH

      Medicare for All. Now.

      • billbear1961

        Hello, Karen!

  • Treant

    New thread.

  • Lazycrockett

    So the USNS Comfort won’t get to PR for 9 days. This is a mass casualty situation.

    • Lazycrockett
      • Ken M

        Did they ask him how he felt about Donnie as a leader? Beyond that, is there a point to this?

        • Friday

          Dotarded distraction from all the bad stuff he’s doing and losing in Alabama.

          • Ken M

            While the Dotard runs off to IN tomorrow for a rally to promote his Tax Reform package, and help heal his ego.

        • Lazycrockett

          That good black man are grateful without question.

    • Dreaming Vertebrate

      Trump should be arrested for GROSS NEGLIGENCE regarding the abysmal dereliction of duty he has shown towards the people suffering in Puerto Rico. He has betrayed all Americans by abandoning those in the most dire need of assistance.

      • Silver Badger

        Absolutely!

    • Circ09

      Where the F is it docked? Alaska? A freaking cruise ship can get there faster!

      • Lazycrockett

        One from Royal Caribbean is already on its way.

  • Hank

    Why is the military NOT flying and air dropping supplies to remote regions of Puerto Rico as well as landing in San Juan???

    • billbear1961

      Because this is a racist regime.

      • Dreaming Vertebrate

        Exactly

        • (((GC)))

          Ta-Nehisi Coates wrote about how 45* owes his political existence to a broad white backlash against a “n***** presidency”.

          (ETA) He discusses the continuous power of racism in US political life, even among otherwise “progressives” such as those working for workers’ rights.

          The First White President
          https://www.theatlantic.com/amp/article/537909/

          • Dreaming Vertebrate

            Such unfathomable ignorance.

          • edrex

            it’s an amazing piece. everyone should read it.

  • Ken M

    A piece of me hopes Moore wins. He will get eaten alive on Capitol Hill. It’s been too long since the Senate had a good, loud, southern, bible thumping, think he knows it all, asshole in their chambers. Calms my paranoia about Trump thinking of him as a possible SCOTUS replacement.

    • (((GC)))

      We need to figure out how to lawfully remove tRump and Pence before there’s another Supreme Court vacancy!

      Or, also important, restore a Democratic majority in the Senate….

      • Ken M

        A majority isn’t needed so much as a more active minority is. The Dems didn’t save Obama Care. Three Republicans voting against it’s option did. If you want to start working for a more valuable majority, do it in the House. They rollover quicker, and usually start the problems in the first place.

        • Circ09

          Yeah, but also a harder hill to climb with all the gerrymandered maps at the moment. Much better odds after 2020 and some more Southern demographic change.

          • Ken M

            Now you’re talking. leading to the next question, how do we get the “Fools on the Hill’ to do than promote themselves between now and then? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=al2gj2WoBN4

          • Ken M

            I hadn’t realized how perfect this song is for Trump. I think I have a new trump anthem. 😉

    • AdamTh

      Donnie could still appoint Moore to SCOTUS.

      • Ken M

        Could, if he wants another AL loss on his hands. It does go beyond Trump just appointing , as I’m sure you know.

  • Friday

    At least Drumph *loses.*

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