AUSTRALIA: Man Charged With Assaulting Former PM Tony Abbott Says It Had Nothing To Do With Marriage

The Guardian reports:

The man charged with assaulting Tony Abbott has denied the alleged attack had anything to do with the same-sex marriage postal vote. Hobart DJ Astro “Funknukl” Labe, 38, was charged with one count of common assault on Friday over an alleged attack on the Hobart waterfront on Thursday afternoon.

Labe was wearing a rainbow “yes” badge when he allegedly asked Abbott to shake his hand before attempting to head-butt him on Morrison Street about 4.35pm. “I must state in no uncertain terms that this has nothing whatsoever to do with marriage equality,” Labe said.

Labe told the Guardian that he supported the “yes” case, but was not a campaigner. He had been drinking before the alleged attack. “My motivations were alcohol fuelled to a degree,” he said. “Someone had just stuck a campaign sticker on me. I’m not an activist but, of course, I believe in human rights and equality.”

More from News Corp:

Labe said he had not intended to cause embarrassment to the same-sex marriage cause, which he supports. “It was nothing really remotely to do with that. It’s just about Tony Abbott — the fucking worm that he is.

“All it was is I saw Tony Abbott and I’d had half a skinful and I wanted to nut the cunt.” Mr Labe admitted he had a same-sex sticker on his jacket, but that was a coincidence. “It was purely because a friend of mine had walked past handing them out and had stuck one on my jacket,” he said.

  • Karl Dubhe

    I am in awe…

    Shouldn’t be, but I am.

  • Lazycrockett

    If you put the word “C*nt” in the article then wait for approval when we use it, just isnt fair!!

    • Friday

      It’s actually rather less inflammatory in like Commonwealth countries and the UK than it is in the US, I’ve found. I’ve occasionally pointed out Americans are often more aghast at it cause you usually only would hear it when someone’s about to attempt physical assault.

  • bkmn

    He headbutted Tony Abbott in the pussy.

    • TampaDink

      When you’re a “celebrity”, they let you get away with that.

    • Uncle Mark

      Can you head-butt a pussy in the puss?
      Can you head-butt a butt-head?

  • safari

    “I had half a skinful and I wanted to nut the c*nt”.

    This will be someone’s campaign slogan in 2020.

    • Rex

      I love color full language that sounds like song lyrics.

      • JackFknTwist

        I too love using bad language…..for pure colour and dramatic emphasis.

    • james1200

      I kinda love the dude for that. I really do.

      • clay

        I kinda hate the dude for that, using misogynist language celebrating the desire to rape Abbott.

        • JackFknTwist

          It’s perfectly understandable, He had a skinful and wanted to nut the c unt……there’s nothing misogynist about using that “bad” language…..it’s just that ….”Bad” language.
          Get over yourself, Mary.

          • Todd20036

            That’s sarcasm, right Jack?

        • CottonBlimp

          Nut doesn’t mean “cum inside of” over there, it means to smack someone with your head (your nut).

          • ChrisMorley

            Also it is how the dude was reported to have assaulted Tony Abbott, with his head, very slightly bruising Abbott’s lips.

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        • Nelson Kerr

          Nut means head-butt in Ozzy, you have a dirty mind

    • another_steve

      I’m pretty good at vulgarity but I’m not sure what that even means.

      What’s “half a skinful”? (“Enough”?)

      And what does it mean to “nut” something?

      • Karl Dubhe

        skin full of wine/alcohol. a large amount of drink, I’d presume.

        You nut someone by hitting them in the head, or fucking them. There’s many options, and I’ll bet the aussies have others that I’ve not thought of.

      • Ernest Endevor

        Half a skinful=half drunk. As a Londoner (retired) I know ‘to nut’ as head butting someone: specifically to bash their nose with your forehead. For more details see Among the Barbarians by Bill Buford, about Brit soccer thugs.

        • jixter

          I think the title was ‘Among The Thugs’, Ernest E.

          Interesting book. I bought it new. Years later, when I was in the little town of Skerries in Ireland, we came across a group of young, drunk men who were walking towards us, singing loudly, in unison, about “… and then we’ll fuck’em up the ass”. There was a big game the next day (somewhere) and they’d been to the pub. It was night time, and we were taking an after-dinner stroll.

          Ireland lost that game (wherever and whatever it was), and the next morning, the egg-man didn’t show up to deliver his eggs to our hotel restaurant. The waiter told us he had gotten drunk the night before in anticipation of the game and apologized for the skimpy breakfast menu.

          Buford’s book made me wary of ‘soccer hooligans’ and when we heard what those guys were singing, we ducked around the corner before they saw us.

          I had never experienced anything like it and I’ll never forget it.

          It was November 2001.

          • Ernest Endevor

            Quite right. I knew those mobs from living there. Remember the fight when one fan knelt on another, gouged out one of his eyeballs, sucked it into his mouth, and BIT IT OFF????? The most disgusting, scariest image I know. I thought now would be a good time to remind you in case you’d managed to forget it. You’re welcome.

            Terrific book, I thought. I knew him from his Granta days which I used to read avidly.

      • JackFknTwist

        “skinful” = a lot to drink, “tanked”, “steamed”, “langers”, “bollixed’, “swamped and drownded with the weight of drink”, “pi ssed”, ….

        nut = head…..a nut case, a nut job, a nutter.

        • Acronym Jim

          But…but…I rather like “nut” jobs.

    • kaydenpat

      Kid Rock.

    • Friday

      I can see it now in the general election for the Senate: Kid Crock vs Some Dude From Australia.

  • Lazycrockett

    “nut the c**t”, now that is fucking slang.

  • PickyPecker
    • Boreal
      • PickyPecker

        Hello, Wise Wolf! Good to see you, my friend.

        • Boreal

          Good to see you as well. Is your chicky wearing a bondage collar?

          • PickyPecker

            Something a bit goth. Leather and spikes. It is after Labor Day, after all. 🙂

          • Boreal

            As long as the collar is not white. 😉

          • TampaDink

            And especially as long as it isn’t a white Roman collar!

          • Mrs. Councillor Nugent

            They’re already slaves

          • TampaDink

            By choice…or as they like to say, by “a calling” to the priesthood.

      • Friday

        Hee, thanks. Just got down from my little tribe’s Circle space up on the hill. 🙂

    • vorpal 😼

      I don’t know what you people are talking about. It’s spring down here. 😸

    • Natty Enquirer

      It turned Autumn here several days ago, when the weather took a cold and dry turn that I recognize from many years past, notwithstanding the Old Farmer’s Almanac’s astronomical pretensions.

      • Friday

        Not to diss the Farmer’s Almanac, overly. They actually used to have a better accuracy rate than a lot of the science we had in the past when it came to *long term* forecasting. You know, like if you were trying to plan crops and didn’t have a better idea. It’s kind of lazy debunking to compare *that* to modern *short* term forecasting, cause it’s not *supposed* to be ‘magic.’ (Of course nowadays science can actually do pretty well about things like expecting El Ninos and certain other patterns you wouldn’t want to ignore.)

      • JCF

        Yesterday, it snowed in the Sierra! (downside: hairy 16-car, fatal pile-up)

        Am going on vacay in the Sierra next week. Doubt we’ll see snow…but here’s hoping! 😉

    • safari

      And it’s only almost 95 today.

      But don’t worry. Next week we won’t break 70.

      • PickyPecker

        I am SO looking forward to the cool.

      • Ninja0980

        Same here, going to go from the 80’s to the 50’s and rain, rain and more rain.

        • safari

          I wish we had rain. It’s been a very dry last couple of months. The leaves are changing early and going right to brown.

          • Ninja0980

            Hasn’t rain as much the past month but we got so much the first few months the leaves are just fine.
            Some here are changing but most have a couple more weeks to go.

    • Mikey
    • JCF

      I LOVE Autumn. Love it!

    • greenmanTN

      Soon it will be Gay Christmas AKA Halloween, the REAL most wonderful time of the year!

      You aren’t expected to see family OR thank any invisible deities, plus you can let your freak flag fly and get all gussied up! 👻💀🎃🤖👺👹

      (Though IMO this princess shit should be outlawed. Go scary or stay home. 😁)

  • Ninja0980

    Funny as this may be, the bigots are going to run with this until the cows come home.

    • clay

      Thank (non-existent) God that I stopped living my life by their dictates when I came out.

  • Natty Enquirer

    Will we be hearing from all the commenters who were CERTAIN this didn’t happen?

    • TampaDink

      False flags!

    • Ninja0980

      Can you fault folks who have seen false flags be skeptical when a bigot who has lied about our community again and again claimed to be attacked and didn’t report it ASAP?

      • Friday

        Yeah, I mean, the con’s lips were moving, what do you expect.

  • JWC

    Maybe maybe not. Just cuz you deck an asshole for being an asshole, you best not be wearing a “Cause Button” cuz thats where the blame will be deflected

    • Ninja0980

      Yup.
      The bigots and Abbott will milk this for all its worth.

      • David Walker

        Just like that near-mass murder at FRC when the guard got winged how many years ago that is still brought up when convenient.

        • Ninja0980

          Yup but none of the many beatings and killings of LGBT people over the years, not to mention the ones driven to suicide.

  • JoeMyGod

    It appears that the cops found Mr. Funknukl when a friend of his joked on Facebook about crowdfunding his defense.

    • safari

      Are we sure this wasn’t an American?

  • Treant

    OT: Happy fall, which is now 3 minutes old in the Northern Hemisphere.

    For Vorpal, happy Spring. 😉

    • vorpal 😼

      =grins=
      Thanks, Treant, and happy fall to all you Northern Hemispherians.

    • Gigi

      It’s fall. I’m at the cottage. It’s 83 degrees and sunny. 😎

      • Treant

        85 and brilliant sunshine here, with highs near or at 90 all weekend long!

        • Gigi
          • Treant

            It’s a pity you’re stuck in such a singularly unattractive location.

            🙂

          • canoebum

            That’s nice. It looks very much like where I’m going for the week. Where is that?

          • prixator

            Gigi didn’t reply to you but he’s from Toronto, so it’s most likely he is in Muskoka or Haliburton (in Ontario). The vast majority of cottages are in those two locales.

      • Gustav2

        It is 90 degrees in Columbus OH

        • PickyPecker

          Same here in NW IL. Supposed to stay this way here for at least another 4-5 days. ugh.

          • Gustav2

            We hate we had to turn the ‘air’ back on to be able to sleep.

      • Rillion

        We had snow and hail yesterday in Reno. Was an interesting way to say goodbye to summer.

  • Lazycrockett
    • Gustav2

      XOXOXOXOXO, Lindsey Belle.

    • Natty Enquirer
    • Treant

      Go home, Lindsey, you’re drunk and there’s a dildo sticking out of your ass.

      Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I don’t want to see it unless I’m the one workin’ it.

    • JWC

      if the ACA is collapsing. I would think its possibly with the lack of helo from the GOP and its agencies Lets just say I wouldn’t forsee any asistance fothcoming from that quarter

      • clay

        If they could get Trump to shut the fuck up about defunding the exchanges and the “market-based” insurance companies . . . not that anyone’s been able to get him to shut up about anything.

    • Ben in Oakland

      Collapsing? and that might be because you’ve done nothing for it?

      • jerry

        And actively sabotaged it.

        • Ben in Oakland

          that too.

    • NowAnAgnostic

      I live in AZ. I have not seen or heard any headlines that ObamaCare is collapsing in our state. If it is in trouble, it is because of the repukes who control the state–including our gov douchey.

  • Gigi

    Fabe’s not the only one who wants to nut the c*nt.

  • Hank
    • TampaDink

      Excellent writing, Hank.

      • Hank

        I thought it was well written, when I read it. Also, a great insight into the use of PREP.
        How are you ding in Tampa?? Have things gotten back to normal for you since Irma?? I hope so.

        • TampaDink

          Yes indeed….that article does open the eyes of many.

          We had been up in Tallahassee with family…returned home last Sunday. We waited to return until the worst of the reverse evacuation was over & done with. We knew in advance that our house was unscathed but that we have a large tree down in the backyard. A friend with a chainsaw has offered to help us take it down to manageable pieces to haul it to the street, with the other debris. There are few houses in our neighborhood that don’t have piles of debris left behind. Turns out, our part of the neighborhood didn’t lose power…so we could have been just as safe here. There are 2 very large live oak trees, one looms over the house…we expected it to crush it. Pleasantly surprised that it didn’t. Thanks for asking!

  • Ninja0980

    https://twitter.com/guypbenson/status/911083775429193729
    O/T you don’t want Moore in office yet you approve of judges like Thomas, Scalia who would gladly uphold laws like the ones Moore wants.

  • Ben in Oakland

    This simply cannot be true. everyone knows that we gay people will assault any- and everyone to get our way, especially grandmothers. I loves to headbutt me some grandmothers. We love persecuting good Christians, but lack the lions in these sad latter days.

    • Treant

      I prefer to smack around kids on their way to Sunday school.

      • Reality.Bites

        Who cares where they’re going?

        • Treant

          Well, that’s certainly true, but I only wear the spiked gloves when dealing with Christian children. I like the way their baptized blood tastes.

      • Ben in Oakland

        But that could be dangerous. Grandmother are easy. Everyone knows that we gay people are terrified of everyone, when we are not cold blooded, psychotic killers that cannot be around normal soldiers.

        I get so confused. I never know which to be.

        • Treant

          Choose the little ones walking alone. Those don’t fight back when you beat the shit out of the little assholes.

          Don’t forget to steal their Bibles and use them as toilet paper and weed paper.

          • Ben in Oakland

            Thanks for the advice. It’s so great that we can learn from each other.

  • Friday

    Once again, the plot thins.

  • Publius
  • Michael

    Something isn’t adding up with this story. Fe Fi Fo Fum, there is definitely an odor of a rat with this story.

    • Friday

      Well, no, it doesn’t really add up and never really did. A generally-PO’ed drunk guy irritated at an asshole former PM hurting his friends, that part’s not out of character. Abbott’s story trying to politicize it about the cause he’s being an asshole about has certain flaws in his account.

  • bambinoitaliano

    I’m sure If Tony Abbot get caught defecating on the street, he will somehow link it to same sex marriage issue in the country.

  • Rillion

    My boyfriend is Australian and even though he has been in the US for a few years he still occasionally drops a few c words. Those Aussie sure do seem to like to cuss.