Hurricane Maria Strengthens To Category 4

ABC News reports:

Maria was upgraded to an “extremely dangerous” Category 4 storm this afternoon, the National Hurricane Center said, as islands including Puerto Rico brace for the impact. Maria is expected to approach Puerto Rico — which is under a hurricane warning — late Wednesday morning. Maria might make landfall on the eastern side of Puerto Rico and could bring major damage to the U.S. territory late Wednesday morning and into the afternoon, two weeks to the day since Hurricane Irma tore through Puerto Rico, killing at least three.

Evacuation orders have been issued for parts of Puerto Rico. Puerto Rico Gov. Ricardo Rossello said starting midday Tuesday, conditions will begin to deteriorate and the island could get between 12 and 18 inches of rain. Officials said 450 shelters will be opened starting this afternoon and warned of possible catastrophic damage and a possible collapse of the “vulnerable” electrical system. Some Caribbean islands, like Guadeloupe and Dominica, are likely to get a direct hit from the powerful hurricane this afternoon or evening.

  • ben-andy

    My friend Gabriella from outside San Juan said “We eat hurricanes for breakfast on PR.” But, perhaps she didn’t mean twice in one month.

    • pch1013

      I had a friend from Guam who referred to it as “the wash ‘n’ wear island.” There was once a typhoon that went over it, reversed, hit it again, reversed again, and hit it a third time.

  • pj

    the new normal….. multiple hurricanes.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok
    • JCF

      “Always the hurricanes blowing…”

      Tell them to decamp for (mainland)…

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TdR7x4f_LE

    • zhera

      Are there any JMGers in Puerto Rico? Stay safe!

      • Mark

        I have friends there and have texted them to get the hell out – they’re on vacation and not sure they realize the severity of the situation approaching them.

  • Rebecca Gardner

    Fake News!
    Climate change is a hoax!
    Hurricane Maria is made up by libtards to make you buy bottled water.
    Only the radical left are Nazis.
    The earth is flat and white Jebus will destroy it on 9/23!!!!

    Did I miss anything?

    • Ernest Endevor

      The thing about how persecuted they are for speaking the truth.

      • Rebecca Gardner

        Oh right. My bad.
        You’re violating my freedom of speech!!!!

        • pch1013

          Also, it’s totally unfair and fake and sad to quote Trump’s past speeches and tweets accurately!

    • Miji

      The buttsex. Can’t leave out preemptively blaming the buttsex just in case the storm is real.

    • Steverino

      You are just a sore loser because Hillary lost!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!

    • Snarkaholic

      “Every time you whack off, Satan forces 37 WHITE Republican women to get abortions!!11!1!11!1!”

  • Lazycrockett

    Everyone join me in a prayer circle so we can send the hurricane to ……….Cleveland!!

    • northern_neighbour

      I like Cleveland … shame on you! … It may not be NYC or Boston or S.F. or Seattle … but hey – lotta decent humble good hearted people living there doing their best. And voting blue.

      Not that Puerto Rico deserves this, but the billionaire makers of climate change were not made accountable, and now it is probably too late to stop the run up in CO2 levels. The titans of industry were IDIOTS as it has turned out, and their bowing and scraping sycophant enablers, the political class in America, Especially the GOP ones but various Blue Dogs as well.

    • TexasBoy

      We should send it to North Korea.

    • ClevelandJim

      HEY now, we’ll have NONE of that!

  • Sam_Handwich

    and suddenly i’ve found how horrible a sound can be….

    • another_steve

      Only the most entrenched and irredeemable homosexuals will get that reference, Sam.

      • JuanGalicia

        Say it loud and there´s music… playiiiing

        • another_steve

          ^^ There’s one.

          • canoebum

            I just finished baking two loaves of zucchini bread for my canoe trip; walnuts, dates, apricots, cinnamon, vanilla. Yummy.

          • another_steve

            ^^ There’s another one.

          • Steverino

            Mmmm, yum! My grandma used to make zucchini bread… it is more like a cake with the density of a heavy bread.

          • canoebum

            It holds up well to being slung around in a food pack in the woods. Into the canoe, out of the canoe, up to camp, up in a tree, back into the canoe again. It’s a workout for any foodstuff.

        • Sam_Handwich

          you get a cookie

        • Phillip in L.A.

          Say it soft and it’s almost like praying

        • Snarkaholic

          Say it soft and you’ll actually see me praying (that Chump’s ass gets locked up soon(!)

      • Ernest Endevor

        It is a truly terrible lyric. “Say it soft and it’s almost like praying’?

        • Steverino

          If it stays soft, you feel like praying…

      • ColdCountry

        Nah, I be straight and I get the reference. Nearly had the whole movie memorized.

        • another_steve

          Hmm.

          There’s a 50-50 chance, ColdCountry, that deep within you resides The Queer. The Queer sometimes manifests itself through the ability to memorize the works of Leonard Bernstein.

          That’s the best case scenario. A not-so-best-case-scenario is that The Queer may one day burst out of your chest à-la the film “Aliens.”

          Let’s hope that in your case, it’s the Leonard Bernstein scenario.

          • ColdCountry

            Ewwww, I hope it’s the Leonard Bernstein scenario! I freely admit, I’m not a Kinsey Zero, but I’m barely on the chart.

  • Henry Auvil
    • edrex

      “puerto rico… you lovely island…island of tropical breezes…”

      • Henry Auvil

        “Always the hurricane blowing… and the money owing.”

        Clearly, Stephen Sondheim ’61 was prophetic. Current US leadership, not so.

    • Steverino

      How do you solve a problem like Maria?

  • JCF

    OT: Can we please get a focus on the CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER of Rethugs trying to KILL Obamacare AGAIN???

    This is the deadly “Cat 5” THREAT to Yours Truly’s life&limb!

    PLEASE, call your Senators! (202) 224-3121 [Don’t assume that those who opposed TrumpDeathCare before, will do so again—including Red State Democrats!] CALL!

    • William

      When you call Ted Cruz, Ted is the voice of the voicemail.

    • JCF

      A little further context: if we can just get through this gawddam month, September, THEN we actually begin to breathe a bit easier: the period for “reconciliation” will be over, and any legislation will REQUIRE 60 votes (to break a Dem filibuster).

      Which is exactly why those BASTARDS are trying to sneak it through NOW. [FUCK YOU, LindsayBelle, for trying to look moderate—you felching FRAUD!]

      • SandraGWright

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  • Blake J Butler

    How do you solve a problem like Maria ?

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=s-VRyQprlu8

    • Sam_Handwich
    • Chris

      This is the hardest I’ve laughed in a month. Thanks for the birthday present!

    • Lumpy Gaga

      Every time I see that old nun say that Julie Andrews is late for everything “except for every meal”, I can’t help but call her a major bitch.

  • Todd20036

    I know that now is not the time to talk about climate change, so can we talk about reasonable gun control?

    • m_lp_ql_m

      None of these hurricanes would be a problem if we were able to keep our guns and shoot them out of the sky.

    • Ernest Endevor

      Come here. I feel a compelling need to kiss you.

  • pch1013

    I’ve seen predictions that it might eventually combine with José. Yikes.

  • Sam_Handwich

    o/t

    This is good news. Sounds like McCain is not interested in the Graham/Cassidy BS

    “I have talked and talked and talked about the need to do regular order. I have amendments that I would like to have votes on … Am I going to be able to have those, or is going to be an up or down vote? That’s not why I came to the Senate just to give up or down votes.”

    [The new bill is] “better but it’s not what the Senate is supposed to be doing. … Is it better to be guilty of murder or train robbery?” he asked reporters.

    http://thehill.com/blogs/floor-action/senate/351242-mccain-blasts-latest-obamacare-repeal-process

    • Cuberly

      Wouldn’t this require a 60 vote anyway?

      • Sam_Handwich

        not sure how they are scheming to ram it through, but i don’t think this bill would even be a topic if it needed 60. that’s impossible

        • Todd20036

          After September, they’ll need 60 votes, and it’s already September 18, so they have 2 weeks to ram it through with 50 votes, and they already tried that, and failed.

      • billbear1961

        They’re trying to get a CBO score and do it through reconciliation, something ELSE McCain SAID he was AGAINST.

      • canoebum

        After September 30th, the end of the fiscal year, they need 60 votes. They can’t run a reconciliation for a budget year that’s already passed.

        • Cuberly

          Ah, thanks for the heads up. I’m all thumbs at this sort of thing.

    • jerry

      Their new healthcare bill is BOTH…train robbery and murder.

      • edrex

        it’s like “murder on the orient express” where you find out that ALL members of the gop murdered the american.

        • Phillip in L.A.

          Yeah, but without the fabulous period costumes, the petting-zoo of crazy foreign accents, and no clever Belgian to neatly tie up all the loose ends.

          • edrex

            poirot is played by mueller.

        • jerry

          And this version stars Yertle the Turtle and Eddie Munster.

    • edrex

      train robbery.

    • billbear1961

      I read on Political Wire they STILL don’t have the votes, and probably, at least in part, because, as this would punish states that have accepted Medicaid expansion, you’re talking about a fair number of RED as well as, obviously, blue states that would be harmed. That will likely make at least some GOP senators from those states reluctant or hesitant.

      • jerry

        They won’t even bring it to the floor this time if they don’t have the votes…too embarrassing for the turtle. Even though this hurts everyone, it especially takes money from blue states to give to the red ones.

    • Todd20036

      How about train murder?

    • Steverino

      Oh dear… I fear the bromance with Miss Lindsey may be coming to an end.
      (So-to-speak)

  • Adam King

    Oh, good. It’s been so long since we’ve had a nice, lively hurricane.

  • Ninja0980

    For the next couple of weeks, the temperatures will be in the 80’s.
    If this was mid July or August, no big deal.
    But this Friday will be fall and it’s NOT normal (or it didn’t use to be) to have summer temperatures for two straight weeks.
    And yet people claim there is no climate change.
    Got to love it.

    • billbear1961

      Got to DESPISE it!

    • Karl Dubhe

      It’s a little bit colder than it has been as of late, so that disproves any claim of global warming anywhere! (can I sell you some more gas?)

    • Steverino

      This is NOT the time to talk about climate change!!!!!!!!1!!!!!11!!!!! This is NOT the time to talk about global warning!!!!!!1!!!!1!!!!!!!!1! This is NOT the time to politicize this!!!!!!!!!11!!!1!1!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!
      /s

  • Cuberly

    If Obama was in office it’d be: Gawd is angry at the Kenyan Muslin usurper!

    Donnie IS in office: Gawd is angry at Donnie’s critics!

  • safari

    I hate waiting in the hospital.

    • Sam_Handwich

      what, you’re in the hospital?

      • safari

        No, my dad. We’ve been waiting for him to get into surgery.

        • Sam_Handwich

          oh, i’m sorry. hope things will be okay

          maybe you will meet a hot doctor

          • safari

            His surgeon is a handsome Turkish man.

          • Sam_Handwich

            go to the nurses stations and ask them to page Dr. Jellyfinger

          • safari

            Not with my mother and grandparents watching.

          • Sam_Handwich

            ok well i’m out of ideas then

        • coram nobis

          Sorry to hear that. Here’s hoping things work out somehow.

        • billbear1961

          Good luck to him, safari!

        • Beagle

          Hoping your father has a successful surgery and an easy recovery.

    • jerry

      I’m always afraid of what I’ll catch just being in a waiting room.

      • safari

        Boredom and rapid aging.

        • billbear1961

          relentless intimations of mortality

  • coram nobis

    Is this storm pronounced Ma-REE-a (e.g., West Side Story) or Ma-RYE-a (Paint Your Wagon) — if the latter, it’s a full-circle metaphor, because George R. Stewart first named a storm “Maria” in his 1941 novel, Storm.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DrOqRQQ9mg

    • Ham

      They call the wind Ma-Rye–a

    • jerry

      Usually, it’s spelled Mariah…but wasn’t in that song, spelled Maria.

      • coram nobis

        Yes, and following the George R. Stewart pronunciation. The book inspired the song and the USWS practice of naming storms.

      • Beagle

        (Cue obligatory Mariah Carey joke.)

  • billbear1961
  • m_lp_ql_m

    It’s telling that all the storm/hurricane/Maria/Jose/Irma puns and jokes have been used up in the last month. This will be a boring thread.

  • Cuberly

    OT: Does this account for Sunday’s twitter-tantrum?

    https://twitter.com/funder/status/909899638571925504

    • Bryan

      I like where this is going…

    • billbear1961

      It is about TIME Mueller and his team were looking at those returns (and ALL that traitorous crook’s financial records).

      • Steverino

        It all goes to money laundering. Time to take Trump to the cleaners, if you will.

      • Karl Dubhe

        He’s probably been looking at them for a while. This story is just leaking that he has them. 🙂

        It’s the legal version of the ancient water torture.

    • William

      Quick – to the confetti store!

      • Cuberly

        HA!

    • zhera

      He MUST have them! How can he investigate Donnie’s financial crimes without them?

  • coram nobis

    Jose is predicted to stall off Cape Cod, and Maria to follow.

    http://www.intellicast.com/

    • Sam_Handwich

      yup, so far. but Jose is going to sit and spin off Nantucket for a few day. surf there will be crazy, could be a fair amount of rain ….even on south facing beaches in MA and RI.

      • Cackalaquiano

        (tee hee, he said “sit and spin”)

  • Lazycrockett
  • Oh, Parker
    • Sam_Handwich

      i was a teenager in the 80’s when we had a visit from Hurricane Gloria in southern New England

      and all the pop music radio stations played non-stop:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=355Fk8drgZE

      • William

        Poor Laura, turned out her killer headache was an aneurysm.

        • Sam_Handwich

          oh wow, i had no idea she’d died. 52, so young

          • William

            She told a friend that she had the worst headache of her life. She was correct.

      • ColdCountry

        I remember that, and I still like that song!

  • Cuberly

    I guess in GOPland we’re not supposed to care….or something.

    Thank goodness we’re fighting against those job killing regulations.

    https://weather.com/storms/hurricane/news/2017-atlantic-hurricane-season-records-notables

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7856db9546a29e015a9ca51e6f58c72c06364558d3c393da6b47e728b15686ad.png

    • safari

      Oh, Gert

      • jerry

        She went out to sea. Sadly, blowhard Don is still with us.

        • Miji

          There actually was a tropical storm Don this year and true to his name he seems to have had the shortest storm track of any on the map. Sad really, short lived impotent little blowhard.

  • Ninja0980

    https://twitter.com/PinkNews/status/909878201920442369
    I’ve said the same thing I’ve always said when it comes to this.
    If you want to be a miserable self-loather, that is your right.
    But misery does NOT like company so fuck off loser.

    • billbear1961

      the petty, selfish hatred of these miserable fucks

    • Cuberly

      Can someone inform this down-under dip-shit that it’s not compulsory that he get married?

    • zhera

      Internal thought process of this assbag:

      – I don’t want to get married.
      – NOBODY SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO MARRY SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX!
      – I’m gonna stay gay, though, because I hate women.

    • Friday

      Not even a good imitation of a homocon this one, just parrotting talking points and probably even lying about being gay in the first place. If he is, he just doesn’t want his sex objects to expect anything decent out of life.

      • Al

        Attention whore who has never been asked out on a date in her life.

      • Snarkaholic

        Probably blabbing all of this crap in hopes of persuading Mummy and Daddy not to throw him out of the house (nor cease paying his tuition(!)

    • fuzzybits

      Talk about self loathing and internalized homophobia.

    • Todd20036

      He’s wearing the new Nazi regalia. Mind you, they’d beat him up as just another fag.

      This guy is very “blah” looking, and overweight, and worst of all, he looks like that as a young man.

      Yeah, he’s not getting laid much, and I’d bet he’s a little bitter about it

    • stevenj

      Here he would be a LCR.

  • Rebecca Gardner
    • Sam_Handwich

      he’s a very young 79 … looks, ideas, energy

    • ultragreen

      He is also opposed to setting up single-payer health care in California, so I would not go too far in praising him.

      • stevenj

        He is also pushing an ecologically insensitive “twin tunnels” project that would divert water out of the Sacramento River in the Sacramento/San Joaquin Delta for shipment to agribusiness further south. In the olden days it was called the (proposed) Peripheral Canal, never built because of so much opposition. On balance though he’s the most progressive governor we’ve had since…Jerry Brown was governor in the late 70’s.

  • Cuberly

    OT: LA, fulfilling an unfortunate stereotype for….uh….a LONG long time.

    https://twitter.com/sahilkapur/status/909882658183933953

    • Friday

      OK, if you could take the block grant and set up single-payer, what would the downside even be for anyone but insurance parasites?

      • zhera

        When some states have single payer the people in the other states will eventually notice that SP is a better system. Then they’ll demand SP in their own state. Insurance parasites, lobbyists, grifters, can’t have that.

  • Natty Enquirer
  • DaddyRay
  • ClevelandJim

    Another hurricane on the same path thru the islands, unbelievable! A friend, and her husband, arrived on St Croix the Friday before Irma, all flights out ended that Sunday night. They went thru the hurricane and have been stranded on the island since, haggling with the airlines, trying to get home, but no flights were going into St Croix. This morning they FINALLY left, on a Coast Guard cutter, which arrived to transport evacuees and pets to San Juan, ahead of Maria. Delta Airlines stepped up and is giving them all a free flight from San Juan to Atlanta, so at least they’re on the way back to the mainland.

    • zhera

      Yay for Delta Airlines!

      • ClevelandJim

        Seriously. Someone posted a vid to FB from the dock at dawn this morning, everyone was in line, waiting to board, and the woman talking about it said that Delta was giving everyone the free flight, as well as waiving all pet transport fees.

  • Sam_Handwich

    for my classical pals, if you don’t know this

    #goosebumps

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ru8Yah-CMv0

  • BeaverTales

    Too many hurricanes. Rebuilding will take years already.

  • ultragreen

    I’m starting to think that some of these Caribbean Islands, especially the smaller ones, should be considered uninhabitable. Let them become nature preserves.

  • pch1013

    It’s up to Category 5 now.

  • That_Looks_Delicious

    It will definitely cause some flooding and do some damage to the electrical system, but most of the structures in Puerto Rico are either reinforced concrete or masonry construction, so I don’t think they will have the level of structural damage that we saw with Irma on those islands that had a lot of timber-framed structures. Also, the island is kind of mountainous and the elevation rises pretty fast as you get away from the beaches (unlike St.-Martin or Barbuda or the Virgin Islands or Keys) so I think tidal surge damage will be relatively mild compared to what happened on those flatter islands. At least I hope so. Puerto Rico is a beautiful island.

  • Stubenville