Christian Numerologists: Make No Plans Past Sept. 23rd

Fox News reports:

Christian numerologists claim that the world will end on Sept. 23, 2017 as they believe a planet will collide with Earth. According to Christian numerologist David Meade, verses in Luke 21: 25 to 26 is the sign that recent events, such as the recent solar eclipse and Hurricane Harvey, are signs of the apocalypse.

Meade has built his theory, which is viewed with a widely skeptical lens, on the so-called Planet X, which is also known as Nibiru, which he believes will pass Earth on Sept. 23, causing volcanic eruptions, tsunamis and earthquakes, according to British newspaper The Sun.

NASA has repeatedly said Planet X is a hoax. Revelation 12:1–2, is supposed to be the start of the Rapture and second coming of Christ, which is also being mentioned heavily by Christian conspiracy theorists.

The clip below has 7.7 million views.

  • Lazycrockett

    Guess I won’t be renewing my numerous Porn subscriptions then. Thanks in Advance!!

  • Oscarlating Wildely

    “Guess what? I need more catnip, bitches, and you just might fit the bill!”

    https://media.timeout.com/images/100595867/660/370/image.jpg

  • greenmanTN
  • bambinoitaliano

    Christian numerologist? Is that the kind of math they use to calculate the earth is 6000 years old?

    • Oscarlating Wildely

      “but in God years…..”

    • Statistics Palin

      I once asked a bunch of Mathematicians from the Technion what the thought about the Bible codes. They pissed themselves laughing. They were observant Jews whose first language was Hebrew and they were among the world’s leading applied mathematicians. Every morning they crap better scholars than this Christian numerologist.

  • PickyPecker
  • Natty Enquirer

    “The world is ending” is the oldest trick in the attention whore’s book.

  • Lazycrockett

    Anyone who has read Revelaions pretty much realized half way thru that John is trippin his balls off.

    • Cuberly

      …and it was supposed to happen shortly after Jebus’ death. It was an anti-Roman torture porn fantasy.

  • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

    We all know that Lars Von Trier already made a slow-paced but haunting movie about it six years ago.

    Next.

  • m_lp_ql_m

    “Gee, here, take all my money then. I won’t be needing it!”

  • RoFaWh

    Exactly what are Meade’s qualifications to be called “Christian” and “numerologist”??? Numerology has never worked, and it belongs to the body of practices forbidden Christians as ” magic”.

    A PhD diploma he found in a Cracker Jack box??

    • another_steve

      Look, babe… If you believe that, as a result of prayers and bell ringing, Jesus Christ descends from heaven and occupies a bowl of crackers on a lace-covered altar, believing in numerology is an easy stretch.

  • PickyPecker
    • That_Looks_Delicious

      The Spankings? Do tell.

      • Phillip in L.A.

        “(Anthrax Ladies.) A spanking! a spanking!

        * * * * *

        (Dingo.) And after the spankings, the oral sex!

        (Galahad.) Well, I could stay a *bit* longer.”

    • Sashineb

      And let’s not forget that Sept 23 could be the date when the LARD finally verifies Opal Covey’s message!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEefZiQNs1U

      • Librarykid

        She should have stuck with a lighter hair dye. Maybe this is proof that she has no gay acquaintances.

        • agcons

          The rough applied with a bingo card marker is another telling sign.

    • jerry

      What is this numerology they speak of? Sounds like the devil’s work.

    • Todd20036

      I always suspected Beiber wasn’t actually human….

    • Phillip in L.A.

      I’ll take “Giant Wolf Swallows the Sun” for $600, please Alex, pp! πŸ˜‰

  • another_steve

    Ohmigod… my man’s and my 4th wedding anniversary is September 26th. We had a nice day planned. Fancy French restaurant. Everything.

    So much for that. :-/

    • David L. Caster

      Might as well go out in style.

    • bzrd

      does save money though

  • Elsewhere1010

    So on the 22nd, can I have all your stuff? Especially your bank accounts?

  • Clive Johnson

    A benchmark of how abysmally we educate our citizens.

  • Tom Furgas

    This will put Bakker and his vomit buckets out of business.

  • PickyPecker
    • Gianni

      If you’re going to God, you might as well do it safely. Love it! πŸ™‚

    • Uncle Mark

      Oooo…it doubles as a skylight

    • Lizard

      Why not repurpose the chimney? It’s not like your soul is going to get testicular cancer.

      • Bad Tom

        Too small!
        Remember, these are lard assed Americans being Raptured here.

    • another_steve

      The way I see it, if you’re on the highway when Jesus returns, the only way you’ll be raptured is if you’re driving a convertible.

    • Todd20036

      Please tell me this ISN’T a thing….

      • Stogiebear

        We can tell you that it isn’t really a thing but:

        1) You know someone, somewhere has already sold a few of these to the rubes; and,

        2) If they haven’t, now is YOUR chance to make out like a bandit selling them.

        • Bad Tom

          So it’s WIN/WIN!

  • Mike

    If babyjebus really wanted to kill us he could just do it instead of devising these cinematic James Bondian murder scenarios. But then if he did it, there would be no one to torture for being kind, and that would spoil his fun.

  • Blake J Butler

    Give me all your money and I will prophesize the future for you.

    Followed by paying off some tuition and books for my masters next year, then followed by regular part dum donations to Planned Parenthood, Equality Texarkana and other charities.

    But it. Won’t dwell on that. If the world is going to end, send me your $$$.

  • Larry in Oklahoma

    Another unexciting Harold Camping-like prediction. Funny how he seems to have forgotten that the bible that he cites also says NO MAN knows when the end of the world will be. Personally, I don’t think there will ever be one unless trump causes it to happen.

  • That_Looks_Delicious

    If I was like Jim Bakker or Joel Osteen, I would sell them Planet X Collision insurance policies and make a mint.

  • misterjack

    I thought numerology was akin to “witchcraft” and “the devil,” etc.

    • motordog

      Indeed…never mind that the bibul specifically states that no one will know when the second coming will happen. This guy is one huge, sinful, wicked heretic and needs to be stoned immediately…and I don’t mean the good kind of stoned.

      • misterjack

        Hahaha!

    • Gianni

      I learned that, too.

  • madscntst

    Oh thank god! I at least get a day with my new iPhone 8 before the end of the world.

  • greenmanTN
  • Sam_Handwich

    kthxbai

  • m_lp_ql_m

    NASA? Whadda they know? They also think climate change is real!

  • PickyPecker
    • Snarkaholic

      Brilliant!

  • safari

    Yeah, well, I say September 22. Take that.

  • Max_1
    • safari

      AKA Sharknado 4?

    • JustDucky
      • Todd20036

        Gods, I’m nerdy enough to get that.

        • marshlc

          I just put it on facebook five minutes ago, already got three likes. Nerdy family.

        • grimnebulin2

          And I’m nerdy enough to think “No, that would be a speedraptor. For a velociraptor you need displacementraptor on top.”

      • Lizard

        I love the cleverness. The trauma flashbacks to college physics, not so much.

    • I need feathers on my velociraptors!

    • another_steve

      On our property is a blue jay (a descendant of the boys in your picture) with an attitude problem. He’s declared the place his own. He chases away the squirrels from the bird feeders and squawks like hell if another blue jay invades his territory.

      I’m not positive yet but I think there’s a chance he’s the Messiah.

      • Librarykid

        or something with a messiah complex, or just a naughty boy.

  • Christopher
    • TrueWords

      That is all I am thinking…please release them to heaven…

    • Mark

      I was thinking that the truth behind the “rapture” is that all the heathens will be taken up and the “christians” will be left behind. They get to inherit and deal with the mess they made and we’re all gonna get outta here! Please!!!! I’m ready to get off this damn planet and this lunatics.

  • PickyPecker
  • greenmanTN

    AGAIN?!

  • safari
  • Christopher

    My favourite rapture scene…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJGz9VKTk7c

    • FAEN

      One of the best episodes of that fantastic ground breaking show.

      • Oscarlating Wildely

        Unashamedly wept at the series finale. Still can’t hear Breathe Me and not recall it. One of the best endings in television history.

        • TrueWords

          Upon seeing the ending I had to be coaxed out of bed afterwards…it was simply too much and PERFECT!!!

        • FAEN

          OMG I just love you right now! I feel exactly the same way and I wept like a baby too. It is still for me the best ending ever to a show in television history.

          Alan Ball will have a hard time topping that.

      • Phillip in L.A.

        One of my favourite guilty pleasures is watching episodes of Six Feet Under, and devising alternate deaths, during the first commercial break

        • FAEN

          LOL-there’s a drinking game somewhere in there.

    • AtticusP

      I love Beth Grant!

      She was wonderful in “Sordid Lives”.

      I can still picture her snapping the rubber band on her wrist to stop herself from smoking.

      • Robert Schaaf

        Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion!

        • AtticusP

          Thirty-two-oh-nine.Thirty-two-oh-nine.Thirty-two-oh-nine.Thirty-two-oh-nine.Thirty-two-oh-nine.Thirty-two-oh-nine.

          • David Walker

            “That should hold me ’til tonight.”

          • CourtneyJTaylor

            (Make $99/hr with Google)(Get-paid-weekly by Google)(what’s more, carry on with a financially solid life…)
            on friday I bought range Land Rover Range Rover after earning $12817 this-last five weeks . with-out a doubt this is the easiest-work I’ve ever had . I started this eight months/ago and almost straight away started to bring in minimum $85, per hour . check out here
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          • BrendaRBrown

            (Get Now $99 per hour with Google Easy Jobs){what’s more, carry on with a financially solid life…}
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          • perversatile
        • perversatile

          ”Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion!”
          Especially without showing the clip…

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=accEKtBebaU

      • Scott Carpenter

        In my office at work I have a play program that she wrote “Happy Birthday, Scott! Beth” It was the Season of Shores presentation of Trials and Tribulations of a Trailer Trash Housewife, and she was the lead. She was excellent.

        • AtticusP

          That’s great!

          I think she is an underappreciated actress.

          Dianne Wiest is another that hasn’t gotten enough recognition, IMO.

          • lymis

            I agree. Some people so inhabit their roles that it looks like they aren’t actually doing anything – until you see them in a completely different role that they make look equally effortless.

          • Jo-Nathan

            Dianne Wiest has an Oscar. I think she’s been quite appreciated.

          • AtticusP

            Only relatively recently. She has a body of work going back years that has not been fully appreciated.

            Just my opinion, of course.

          • HoratioCaine

            she’s got an oscar!

      • greenmanTN

        If you have never seen the episodes of Malcolm In The Middle she was in (as the smothering, overly protective mother of one of Malcolm’s genius classmates), you really should. They are hilarious.

      • greenmanTN

        Fast forward to 6:30 for a great Beth Grant scene.

        http://dai.ly/x5w8271

        • AtticusP

          I never saw that. Loved it! Thanks for sharing

    • another_steve

      I can watch that one a thousand times and each and every time it’s as funny as the last time I watched it.

    • TrueWords

      She was soon “Six Feet Under”…one of the BEST shows EVER!!!

    • The only time I laughed at a death scene on that show!

      • oh and maybe the one where the old person was hit by a golf ball

        • Phillip in L.A.

          I bet we could find more! πŸ™‚

          • Nick Maro

            There was always at least one funny/ironic death each season.

    • Scott Carpenter

      In other news (yeah, it’s off topic) the self-described Mother Of All Rallies, to show support for Hair Furor was… underwhelming.

      http://www.politicususa.com/2017/09/16/pro-trump-mother-rallies-d-c-s-national-mall-sees-laughable-turnout.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=gplus

      • Scott Carpenter
        • zhera

          This pleases me bigly!

        • David Walker

          “Can I get an ‘Amen,’ somebody? Somebody? Anybody? Shout ‘Amen’ and ‘Hallelujah.’ *tap tap tap* Is this thing on?”

          • Phillip in L.A.

            Hallelujah!

          • Snarkaholic

            Gay men!

        • glass

          I don’t think this is a rally. It looks like old people just cruising each other in a very boring park. Possibly a dogging park. πŸ™‚

        • Oh, Parker

          Spreading everyone out like that really creates the illusion of…a disaster.

      • Craig Howell

        Well, actually, I felt…whelmed by the turnout.

    • Daveed_WOW

      Beth Grant is my movie wife.

    • abqdan

      The deaths were my favorite part of six feet under!

    • bzrd

      wow, 2003, seems only like yesterday

    • Nick Maro

      My favorite death scene in that series. (Which had the greatest ending to a series ever.)

    • JackFknTwist

      That was sooooooooooo good !

  • netxtown

    oh goody. rapture them xtians right on out of here – and maybe the rest of us can live in peace.

  • Kevin Perez

    Darnit, and I just bought my plane tickets to Palm Springs for February. You know they don’t give refunds!

  • FancyThat
  • bkmn

    Woohoo!!!! That means I get out of jury duty early!!!!

  • Ragnar Lothbrok
    • Oscarlating Wildely

      But at least he cuddles afterward!

      https://i.imgur.com/piOLMM8.jpg

    • MBear

      Or the more factually correct: ” i know your god doesnt exist”

      What they hear: “murder christians “

      • Todd20036

        Crows can be christian?

    • Treant

      Is Devin close enough? Because I did do Devin.

      • Librarykid

        Not Nunes, I hope.

        • Treant

          Perish. The. Thought.

    • safari

      When I said that I was asked if I thought I was god.

    • what I said:
      “I don’t believe in any deities”

      …I could give a fuck what they heard

      • Ragnar Lothbrok

        Lol, totally.

    • Todd20036

      What if I said, “I fucked the devil.”?

      • Ragnar Lothbrok

        If there’s a vid, it would go viral in 13 seconds.

    • JDS

      Only if he is a big hung Top.

  • DoctorDJ

    Hey, Pastor Numnuts: If you’re that all-fired sure that everything will end next Saturday, then you’ll have no problem with transferring all your earthly possessions. Make the check and the deeds out to DoctorDJ, c/o this station, Anytown, USA.

    Call now. Operators are standing by.

  • catherinecc

    How much child abuse will come of this, how many suicides? πŸ™

  • MBear

    That’s not how to science

  • octobercountry
  • Michael R
    • pj

      the voice of reason.

    • another_steve

      I just checked the online betting odds that it’ll happen.

      As of the moment: 6,947,737,611,999,273,993 to 1.

      • David L. Caster

        That number means they could never pay out if it did.

        • David Walker

          I’m sure that’s what he’s betting on. Besides, who’ll be around for afters?

          • David L. Caster

            Clearly. Well I guess the unelect will be around, but money will be worthless anyway in a post-apocalyptic world.

      • JackFknTwist

        Great, might be worth a small flutter !

    • zhera

      Just in case it does happen, we should celebrate my birthday (9/23) with a big party! πŸ˜€

      • David Walker

        Better do it now. The fireworks will be distracting.

        HAPPY DAY, ZHERA!!!!!

        • zhera

          Thanks! I’ll be 44. Apparently, in the bible, 4 represents ‘door’. So: Double doors –> French doors!

          I’ll be having my French Doors Day on the 23rd!

  • Treant

    I think we’d notice, unless it were made of carbon black, approached from the south pole, and had no mass nor moons.

    So…no.

    Besides, I’d miss Hallowe’en, and that can’t happen.

  • Uncle Mark

    Oh the irony; I’ll be celebrating my recently late father’s birthday that day with family & friends. Good food, good friends, good grief !!

  • Jeffg166

    No one seems to have noticed this approaching planet to date.

    • motordog

      It’s a magic planet…duh!

    • Tulle Christensen

      really how could we see it as more than a point of light, well unless we used Galileo’s devil spyglass and then we would surely go to hell

    • DoctorDJ

      It’s hard to see that which is not there…

      Kinda like his god.

    • Tomcat

      It is still up their asses.

      • Lizard

        Dunno how it fits up there, what with the over inflated heads and all.

  • -M-

    Why are these primitive idiots allowed to use modern white boards?

  • motordog

    I bet Opal over in Toledo is feeling very smug right about now.

  • DaddyRay

    Yeah, they are going to have to reschedule that – I have a hair cut that day

  • Tulle Christensen

    What? I already have plans, my sister is coming to visit on the 24th, changed from the 11th because Irma

  • Cuberly
    • Stubenville

      Shaun of the Dead is one of my all time favorite movies.

    • Phillip in L.A.

      Mmmm, I could go for an ice-cold Guiness right about now

      • David Gervais

        Cold Guiness – heresy!

        • Phillip in L.A.

          Maybe so, but I prefer it that way!

  • Uncle Mark

    Apparently numerologists can’t do any complex math. I love the utter lack of mathematical calculations. I would think since Planet-X is yet undiscovered that all the mathematics would be based off the square-root of negative numbers. (Also referred to as imaginary numbers…for those of you less nerdy than me.)

    • Tulle Christensen

      i see

      added: well and sometimes j

      • Uncle Mark

        πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

    • Natty Enquirer

      Now that’s not very fair. Meade wields the mighty weapon of … ADDITION!

  • Ronald Reagan is Dead!
    • Treant

      “It turns out God does love gays…but only if they’re tops.”

    • Tomcat

      Bye, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way up.

  • DoctorDJ
  • olandp

    With the current “leadership” of this country these assholes may be right. It is survival day to day at this point.

  • Scott Fitler
  • sfprman

    If their faith is so strong, they should agree to death by lethal injection if this does not come to pass. These parasites need to be held accountable.

  • 2012 called and wants its crackpot meme back!

    If there were a planet headed for the earth that was close enough to hit us or even pass by a week from now, we’d be able to see it with the naked eye already.

  • AdamTh

    “Planet X”….. Do I believe NASA, or a bunch of Christian nut-jobs? Ordinarily I would go w/NASA, but this is Donnie’s NASA now…..

    • Tulle Christensen

      There are still a few good people there, I have an old friend that works at the cape (And I mean old, known him for 47 years)

  • Rebecca Gardner

    Why is this story in the Fox News “Science” section of their site?

    Will tooth fairy sightings be written about in that section next? Religion. Such complete and utter batshittery.

    • Tulle Christensen

      er ah hmm maybe because it is Fox News…

  • Uncle Mark

    Perhaps the actual world-ending event that these religious wingnuts are afraid of is when Planet Mueller collides with their Orange Messiah. YAY…Sep 23rd !!

  • Dan

    And you get in your car and you drive real far
    And you drive all night and then you see a light
    And it comes right down and lands on the ground
    And out comes a man from Mars
    And you try to run but he’s got a gun
    And he shoots you dead and he eats your head
    And then you’re in the man from Mars
    You go out at night, eatin’ cars
    You eat Cadillacs, Lincolns too
    Mercuries and Subarus
    And you don’t stop, you keep on eatin’ cars
    Then, when there’s no more cars
    You go out at night and eat up bars where the people meet
    Face to face, dance cheek to cheek
    One to one, man to man

  • Stubenville

    Can you hurt your eyes by rolling them too hard?

  • Uncle Mark

    Talking about the apocalypse is fine, but DON’T you DARE even talk about man-made climate change !!

  • safari
    • Natty Enquirer

      I’m sure the Religion of Peace just wants to have a good talk with them.

  • clay

    I will laugh my fucking ass off onto the floor if there is a surprise indictment handed down on Saturday, September 23rd.

    • canoebum

      RICO. Oh, please let it be RICO.

      • clay

        A year with three R-named storms: Rina, Ramon and RICO.

    • david fairfield

      Lol. Yes!

  • Tomcat

    And I suppose the reason we cannot see it yet is it is still up your ass.

  • Anthony_Central_IL

    Are they sure that it was Christian numerologists who came up with that end-of-the-world date? They may have overheard social justice warriors at UC Berkeley making that end-of-the-world prediction of Saturday, September 23. On Sunday, September 24 Milo kicks off free speech week at Sproul Plaza in the middle of UC Berkeley campus. Day One is “Feminism Awareness Day.” That may very well presage the end of the world for some.

  • AtticusP

    No worries. They will just pray it away, and take full credit for it.

    You’re welcome. Please send money.

    • Tomcat

      But won’t praying it away upset their god?

      • AtticusP

        Sure.

        But he’ll forgive them.

        He always does.

        Isn’t that special?

        • Tomcat

          How can he forgive them for screwing up his Apocalypse?
          That would mean they are more powerful than he is and we all know he is a vengeful god about that shit. Don’t like to be shown up by peons.

          • AtticusP

            I know that the Old Testament God is a vengeful God.

            Supposedly Christians believe in the New Testament, and I guess God is a little more compassionate (except that he sent his son to die on the cross.)

            Who cares? It’s all fairytales to me anyway.

      • clay

        I read that as “their gold”.

      • justme

        and don’t forget to put money in the collection plate…(just in casee you need to buy yours and their way into good graces..

  • Tomcat

    WHAT. You mean the great orange pumpkin is not going to save us?

  • BartmanLA

    It’s pretty hilarious considering the fact that on YouTube where this video is hosted this guy was too chicken to let comments be posted so he disabled them. Guess he can blather on about what he “believes” but won’t let contrary opinions be offered. You can justify anything numerically if you doctor the numbers anyway you want.

  • Slim Compersion

    How’s about: If this prediction comes true, I’ll promise to covert to Christianity. If it fails, I’ll consider Christianity forever discredited. Deal?

    • Tomcat

      Actually if they really believe their shit, THEY should make the deal to deny god if it does not happen. Otherwise they just remain hypocrites.

  • justme

    So if it doesn’t happen will there be law suits???

    • Phillip in L.A.

      Yes, but suit must be filed in Ecclesiastical Court in the See of St Peter (i.e., the Vatican) on or before the End of the World. The Supreme Court = The Pope and his curia.

    • DaddyRay

      They will say their prayers to Fake Jebus were answered

  • Greenscreen

    Can’t wait for the Rapture, when all these lunatics are off the Earth and leave the sane alone.

    • Tomcat

      If they do not go will they start killing each other to get there faster?

  • Tomcat

    Note for shopping list. Get more bullshit repellent, have been going through a lot lately.

  • Will Parkinson

    :yawn: Again? Well, I guess it’s another reason to have a party.

    • Phillip in L.A.

      “Forms of Rapture” party. At Will’s place, tonight, Pass it on.

      • PickyPecker

        What to wear…what to wear?

      • Will Parkinson

        NOOOOO! September 23rd. We have to be together when the world goes out in a bang.

  • canoebum

    The world cannot end on September 23rd. I’ll still have two more days to go on my Fall canoe trip. On the other hand, if the world does end on that day, at least I’ll be in the Big Woods communing with nature when the end comes.

    • Phillip in L.A.

      “I’ll be in the Big Woods communing with nature when the end comes.”

      Definitely would be my choice as well!

      • Tulle Christensen

        Do you have any pictures of this Big Woods guy, he sounds hot.

      • canoebum

        Actually, I screwed up the date: I’m departing for the Big Woods on the 24th. If the end comes, I’ll miss my whole trip, and I was just getting ready to go to the liquor store to get the Cognac and 151.

        Rich’s Camp Cocktail
        1Β½ oz. of 151 rum
        Wyler’s Tropical Fruit Punch mix, Β½ tsp
        Lime wedge
        Hot water to fill a large mug

        • AmeriCanadian

          151 as in Rum 151? That did BAD things to me once. Really bad things.

          • canoebum

            Yes. The very same. As seen on the Post Office wall.

    • Pat Padrnos

      You have a healthy attitude.

  • justme

    Mark calendar,,,
    Sept 23 The end of America’s fake christian boondoggle …

    Please send money!!!

  • aagold76 .

    well- life and the world sucks lately….I wouldn’t mind a way out!

  • Fifth-and-a-Half Element
  • vorpal 😼

    I think this’ll be my 20th end-of-the-world. Do I get a prize?
    To hell with Hurricane Harvey and hot homosexuality…
    We all know that this time it’s god’s wrath for Opal Covey not being elected for the 8000th time.

    • JWC
      • vorpal 😼

        If I ever feel a little wonky (which sometimes happens since I have loads of vitamin deficiencies and am on steroids for Crohn’s), I just think of Opal Covey and that really puts things into perspective!

        Great day here… internet on the diplomatic compound was down for most of the morning so I was forced to find other ways to keep myself busy… and ended up doing a huge reorganization of my room, which was well overdue! Now it is spiffy and shiny and orderly. LOL I kind of thrive on chaos, though, so I’ll probably never be able to find anything again :D.

        How about you? It’s two minutes to happy hour here, but I’ll probably wait until 6:00 or 7:00 PM before I break out the wine!

        • JWC

          Its only 1330 here many hours away from scotchy o’clock There was a story on CNN health with Sanjay Gupta today on Cronhs today

          • vorpal 😼

            Oh? Anything interesting said about Crohn’s? I’ll see if I can dig up the clip on YouTube.

            Heading to bed after a very nice night… healthy veg soup for dinner with hubby’s homemade chicken broth and some TV and engaging chat together. Lots of cat antics as usual, of course, too!

            How is your night shaping up? I’m guessing you’re probably still up based on the time difference, since I think it’s only 9:30 there.

          • JWC

            yes had a good day was in bed 2230 A quiet grey day here only13c so far hope tou find something on You Tube

    • Phillip in L.A.

      Hello, handsome. Wanna go cheesing with me later?

      [jpg: KennyAstrideMount, CheesingHisBallsOff.jpg will not be uploaded by Diqus.]

    • grada3784

      Only 20?

      Rank Amateur.

  • Tomcat

    Funny thing is if they are right they are going to die the same time we do and no one goes anywhere.

  • JWC
    • Tomcat

      There is no proof, that is what makes it so wonderful.
      If there is no proof it also cannot be proven to be false.
      There is a lack of information and witnesses that have come back to tell.

      • Phillip in L.A.

        Indeed, that is pretty much the whole point of “faith,” as I gather

      • JWC

        I kind of lost it when I got to science

    • Max_1

      Who needs proof when there is faith…?
      Who needs help when there is prayer…?
      Who needs education when we have hope…?

  • OdieDenCO

    not again! I just got all the pieces glued back together from the last end of the world.

  • Max_1
    • Cuberly

      I could so stalk Matt Dillahunty. He’s cute as hell and so damn smart. I’ve lost track of how many times he’s tied my brain into a knot, in a great way.

    • Snarkaholic

      Over on the right…a man in a dress! Which bathroom is he entering???

  • uh no. On Oct 6 we’re going to NYC.
    We’re sure as fuck not missing this trip because of “religion”.

    • Phillip in L.A.

      Get your money back NOW, just in case! :-}

    • Tomcat

      On September it is coming to you.

  • Tomcat

    Anyone know what number of end of the world this is? I lost count.

    • grada3784

      We’re on Earth, Remake Number 974.

  • TheManicMechanic

    More Xtian idiocy. It’s all the stupid cult has.

  • Rebecca Gardner

    In other news the Pro-Trump Rally taking place in DC right now will be described by the White House as the single largest rally in the whole history of mankind.

    https://twitter.com/RVAwonk/status/909125541718044672

    • Tomcat

      Less and less each rally,,, really sad, weak, must blame Obama.

      • Lazycrockett

        I would say siding with Neo Nazis and the Klan really woke a lot of Drumpf voters up.

        • greenmanTN

          Sadly, it’s equally likely that flipping on DACA hurt him more than those things did, considering his audience.

        • marshlc

          Plus, just, well… people have shit to do, you know? Even the partly committed might go to a rally or two during an election, because that’s part of the excitement, the momentum. But once the election is over, the person elected is supposed to be busy doing the job he won, and everyone else is busy living their lives.

          Trump seems to have thought the crowds he got during the election were for him. And, sure, they were, but they were mostly for “Hurray, hurray, our side! Beat those other guys! Our side, our side, rah rah!” You don’t go to pep rallies once the season is over.

          Trying to capture the excitement of a contest once you won, and are in control of the government, is a no win. Even his true believers have laundry to do on the weekend, don’t have time for this all the time.

          • Librarykid

            You might say it is like trying to keep it up after the orgasm; possible, but only for a small number that dwindles with age.

      • David Walker

        President Obama is definitely to blame. He showed us what to expect from a president. He knew what he was doing from Day 1. The gall of some people! And he wasn’t even white!

        • J Ascher

          Yes, we went from professional to rank amateur!

      • Librarykid

        They got distracted by a Hillary interview and did not make the rally.

    • Tulle Christensen

      Those bots are just being lazy, they could download themselves into a Roomba and show up at the rally

    • BearEyes

      where are the hover-rounds?

    • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAA!

    • The_Wretched

      So that’s a doubleplus good truefact?

    • greenmanTN

      Only if your mother is Octomom.

    • Stogiebear

      Of course it will be. Those are, without doubt, the greatest number of blades of grass ever to show up on the Mall for any event of any kind. EVER!

      • zhera

        It’s a grassroot rally!

      • David Walker

        Or the largest number of blades of grass uncrumpled by human foot.

        • Librarykid

          And don’t forget all who were watching it (virtual participation) at home.

    • Todd20036

      Face it, even Trumpanzees realize a stupid ego boost when the see one.

    • Snarkaholic

      Chump will just tweet a pic of last year’s Superbowl halftime show and say THAT was the rally turnout.

  • Harveyrabbit

    Over 7.7 million views. If he’s monetized that claptrap then that was some easy way to fill a medium size piggy bank. According to Mr Google..

    “Roughly, a video creator will earn $2,000 for every million views. “And then YouTube takes 45 percent,:”

    So he may have made 7 to 8 thousand dollars from this. Scamvangelical indeed.

  • Michael R
  • Cuberly

    OT: Fuck this religio number nonsense. This is making the rounds on twitter.

    Get a hanky…..

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqHlIRZnF38&feature=youtu.be

    • Treant

      The Enchroma vids are always enchanting. So is the guy, even if a bit old for me.

      • Cuberly

        I never knew this was a thing….

        The dude is woofy woofers if ya ask me…lol…

        • Treant

          I didn’t say I wouldn’t do him, just that he’s a bit old for me. πŸ™‚

          Yep, something like they spread the channel of what the person sees by masking out some red-green frequencies to enhance red and green perception.

          Normal folk, like me (us, probably), just see slightly more saturated colors and oranges tend to shift a bit more red. Nothing severe and we tend to have no reaction to it.

          Red-green colorblind people see color for the first time.

          • Cuberly

            I can’t imagine not seeing green, it’s my favorite color by far. I can stare at a landscape of lush green for hours.

          • Ernest Endevor

            It’s the color that my digital camera has most trouble approximating.

          • Treant

            I never met a color I didn’t like (as shown by my gardening).

            My favorite color? That deep electric blue-purple that you see about 40 minutes after sunset in July when you’re looking straight up on a crystal-clear day. It’s almost electric.

            Second favorite? Deepest violet.

            Third? That orange hue that’s about halfway to red, and often (erroneously) called “flame.” I’m breeding my Profusion zinnia in that direction.

          • PickyPecker

            Did you read about the ‘orange’ GMO scandal in the plant breeding world? Things like ‘African Sunset’ petunia that showed up on the market a few years back are now being pulled as they were engineered and not bred. Interesting.

          • Treant

            Yeah, no surprise, though. Carnations have been bioengineered for decades now–the Moon Shadow and Moonglow being two great examples.

            I don’t have a problem with it being engineered, I’d just like to know that.

          • greenmanTN
          • Treant

            The one on the left needs a doctor, stat.

          • Amanda B. Rekendwith

            I am partial to the blue-purple of Sibirian Iris, which I have always thought to be electric, too. And they have just a short season, then poof…gone. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/554f3bf30ef09e09dd472792a58b9fa7997cffefe7f9b24d6e8850c0cad6d9e5.jpg

          • Treant

            I grow the spring-blossoming dwarf and they’re amazing! But yeah, blossom, gorgeous for a few days, then bye-bye for another year…

          • PickyPecker

            I’ve had red/green color blindness all my life. Not to a huge degree, but I cannot distinguish colors like khaki, which looks brown to me. I have to be very careful when choosing dress socks in shades of brown (as they could be green and I wouldn’t know it) and often when shopping for clothing I will ask about an item color to be sure.
            From what the opthamologist says, the gene for this trait is passed on from females (who do not express the blindness) to their offspring; of which males will have the full expression of the gene.
            My younger brother has the same condition. It is not disabling and difficult to explain just to what degree it is, really. Yes, I see green just fine (I am an avid gardener and hold a degree in horticutlure) as well as reds. It’s just some of the in between shades that go flat.
            Supposedly, people like me were valued in WWII and subsequent skirmishes as ‘spotters’ from planes as we tend to see (or not see) camouflage.

          • Cuberly

            Interesting, I had no idea bout how they were desired recruits during WWII.

            Not to pry but have you thought about giving the glasses a whirl?

          • PickyPecker

            I’d try someone else’s on for shits and giggles…to see if there was actually something I had been missing.
            However, with a pricetag of $350-$500, I think I’ll hold off on investing in a pair of my own. πŸ™‚

          • Cuberly

            When you try them on we get to see the vid…lol. πŸ˜‰

          • PickyPecker

            Deal.

          • Cuberly

            I know the brain is surprisingly malleable in how it can generate new connections to make up for certain things or conditions. I wonder if these glasses have been studied long term to see what if any sort of rewiring happens. For such a strong change in stimulus it sure seems like there’d be additional changes or activity in certain areas.

          • That_Looks_Delicious

            As long as you can tell apart the red and green lights when you’re driving, I’m okay with it.

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e1c6e66cfa54782f5eda18fed313121acdf3e643827accdb3df89f61bebac5ff.gif

          • johnnybc

            I have a bit of a red/green colorblindness as well. It’s nothing that I notice through the day but now or then someone will say that a couch is brown and I will see gray/green. My mom was a social worker so she had books around the house with the color dot tests. My brother, sister and I would page through and all come to the same conclusions. But one day in my 20’s, I could not get all the ones I used to. Very weird, but pretty common.
            But I am so myopic and astigmatic that I can not even bother with trying yet another pair of glasses

      • greenmanTN

        Cradle robber! πŸ™€

    • Lazycrockett

      Let’s gay it up a little.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCcxwieuDH0

      • Treant

        “Heeeello. My name is Ethan and I’m a gay colorblind man. Obviously.”

        He’s adorable. But way too young for me. Way, way too young.

        • m_lp_ql_m

          He’s been “seeing purple” for quite a long time now, I’m sure.

          • Treant

            He just thought the head was red, is all. πŸ™‚

      • Treant

        As I watch this, the man would have a cat if you put them on him for the first time in my gardens.

      • Cuberly

        That moment where they look over the glasses or take them off to see what they normally see so they can digest what it looks like with the glasses on is priceless.

    • BearEyes

      these never get old.
      the onions on the other hand….

      • Cuberly

        Wow, where have I been I’ve never heard of these before…lol…the glasses or the videos.

    • greenmanTN

      I binge-watched a bunch of these EnChroma videos one night, 15 or 20 of them, and I love how excited and overwhelmed people get at seeing vivid colors for the 1st time.

    • That_Looks_Delicious

      Should we be passing these things around while Kellyanne Conway still has her nutcracker outfit? Think of the shock for people just getting used to seeing colors.

      https://www.metro.us/sites/default/files/styles/mystyle/public/main/articles/sarah-huckabee-sanders-green-screen.jpg

      • greenmanTN

        Did she sing Cherokee People for her finale?

      • Cuberly

        Ha!

    • Rebecca Gardner

      I can’t imagine what it’s like to be color blind.

      https://youtu.be/TROCGz5qvmw

      • bzrd

        really, the reaction is like being on acid, some colors are so brilliant

        does give me chills to see their excitement

  • fkevin

    This is one of the worse Stargate episodes.

  • It Was Never Just 42

    Wonder just how many of these wacko’s pre-ordered a new iPhone 8 or a Watch 4 for delivery on 9/22?

  • Secure

    Fuck that! Episode VIII is out in December! Disney is more powerful than any space god.

  • Pat Padrnos

    Well…this is not good news. My daughter in Portland is planning on coming down on the 27th to visit for a few days. I wonder if she should just cancel her flight? What about all of the household projects we were planning on doing? What to do – what to do??

    • Maybe we should all stop cleaning our houses, and paying bills? I’m super sure that the bill collectors will understand why they won’t be getting paid, right?

      • Pat Padrnos

        You are absolutely right. After I made my comment I thought of all the other things I need to reconsider.
        I could stop taking my grandchildren to school – they would love that and besides I hate packing lunches.
        Pest control will be coming this week. I have an infestation of the harlequin bug in my flowers. I am stressed – but so what!!
        Would this be a good time to tell my in-laws what total @#$%^&*()
        they all are? (I should do that anyway).
        Maybe this would be a good time to take a drive to Yosemite – one of my favorite places in the entire world – and have lunch in The Ahwahnee.

        • I’ve not yet been to Yosemite, but it’s at the top of places I want to visit. Everyone I know says its amazing.

          And IF the world was truly coming to an end, I’d buy the hub-ster and I, one way tickets to Kauai Hawaii and lounge at Anini Beach, snorkel and hubby could sunbathe until the last minutes of life.

  • DrRobY

    It’s a good thing I pick up the new iPhone on 9/22. I would hate to have the world end with it in transit.

  • They see the hurricane coming, check. There is no planet coming; check anyway.

  • Read a SCIENCE book ya bunch of xtian fools!

    • motordog

      You could shove a science book up their ass sideways and they’d still cling to this nonsense.

  • shellback

    “…the world will end on…”
    Oh, jeezis, not again.

    • justme

      2000 bust
      Myan calendar.. Bust
      and were still waiting..
      Same group different date

      • Karl Dubhe

        See you next Tuesday. πŸ™‚

      • grada3784

        We do have until 2048. Unless the scamvangelicals extend the length of a Biblical generation again.

  • Rick

    The Book of Revelations, aka ‘OMFG Are These Shrooms Bad?!?!’

  • Orly

    “And remember, the ban on suicide is lifted for this day only!”

  • coram nobis

    Lycus: This I swear by the great Necrophytes, god of pimps, panderers and go-betweens.
    [Exits scene, returns]
    Lycus: A new god, but a very hard worker.
    — “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum”

  • my version wasn’t playing the laugh track. where do you adjust that level?

    • Treant

      It actually has a track of “Yakety Sax.” Just turn up the volume below. πŸ™‚

  • Karl Dubhe

    I might be a bit blind, but even I would have seen any planet that was 7 days away from hitting the Earth. πŸ™‚ I’m even more certain that the people who look at the sky for fun would have seen it long before him… But there I go again; reasoning…

    • kanehau

      I work at a world class observatory… this is news to me.

      • greenmanTN

        That’s because you don’t have the telescope pointed up your own ass, unlike this guy.

        • kanehau

          That would be difficult – it has a 28 foot mirror.

          • greenmanTN

            Yeah, I guess you’d have to work up to it…

          • grada3784

            The guy is a really big ass. And he has one too.

    • Max_1

      Planet X… Lives in the dark… it’ll sneak up on us…

      • Tulle Christensen

        yea that’s the ticket, it must be made of dark matter

    • mjsatty

      No one expects the Spanish Inquisition, I mean Planet X.

  • Lazycrockett

    Meanwhile in Ohio.

    https://twitter.com/HuffPost/status/908843713455108096

    He used a more “colorful” word than black though.

    • Max_1

      Of course, he lost his job…

      • stuckinthewoods

        Fortunately for him his disciplinary hearing is September 27 after the world ends.

    • “Look Mommy! This racist zombie hates the living.”

    • greenmanTN

      Yep, I took one look at him and the first thing I thought was Master Race!

      https://giphy.com/gifs/HfFccPJv7a9k4

  • Max_1

    Sorry O/T… Or, on topic for me… LOL…
    The insane clown posse holds a rally for the insane clown President…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGVrU2VneEU

  • Mark

    Wasn’t this supposed to have happened in 2011 or was it 2012? Can’t remember exactly but I remember people driving around with signs on the cars / trucks – May I think it was…..

    • grada3784

      This one combines the Great Pyramid end in 2005 with the Mayan calendar end in 2012.

      Let’s hear it for the resurrection of the Great Pyramid inch.

  • Cuberly

    Heh….we need MUCH more of this.

    https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/909101727525240834

  • Ernest Endevor

    Have you heard, It’s in the stars,
    Next July we collide with Mars?
    Well! Did you ever?
    What a swell party this is!

    • grada3784

      As prophecied by Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra

      • Beagle

        Also by Deborah Harry and Iggy Pop.

  • Carl

    All right! I can eat as much as I want!

  • teeveedub

    Because they’ve been right about the end of the world so many times before.

    • DaddyRay

      This time is tots for realz

  • DaddyRay

    Because even their god had had it with Trump

  • Henry Auvil

    And Jim Bakker’s slop buckets aren’t going to do you any good.

    • m_lp_ql_m

      If you jump into one of them, the slop could be a buffer against flying projectiles.

      • greenmanTN

        So would cat turds but I’m not going to jump in a vat of them either!

  • Rick Hoyt

    Elsewhere in the same chapter of Luke. Jesus says that the end times will happen while the current generation is still alive. So much for scriptural literalism. Oh, and he also says, also in the same Chapter of Luke, not to believe anybody who tells you they know when the end is coming.

    • Steven B

      I think it says something like ‘the end will come like a thief in the night.’ (not sure where the Bible verse is for that.)

    • Tulle Christensen

      just use the force Luke

  • LovesIrony

    If the world does not end on Sept 23 my god of the spaghetti monster who wants me to enjoy Halloween is stronger than your god that allowed his son to be nailed to a cross.

  • infmom

    A planet that we can’t see coming. I guess blessed are those who have not seen but still believe, aka crackpots, wingnuts and idiots.

    And it better not happen, my anniversary is the 24th.

  • Kenster999

    I think iPhone X will have a bigger impact than Planet X.

  • Adam Stevens

    Hopefully Tom Cruise and Xenu will save us?

    • Kissmagrits

      Nanu nanu.

  • KaBoomBOX

    Numerlogical hooey aside, it’s clear they don’t understand how astronomy works either (science is hard!). A rogue planet wouldn’t just appear without us knowing about it well in advance, unless Jebus is just supposed to make it appear?

    • Natty Enquirer

      Who said it was a rogue planet? Obviously, it is a ninja planet.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      Maybe they think Darth Vader sent it.

    • grada3784

      It was moving thru hyperspace.

  • zeroagent
  • DaddyRay

    OT: β€˜Narcos’ Location Scout Shot and Killed in Mexico
    http://variety.com/2017/tv/news/narcos-shot-murdered-location-scout-mexico-1202561257/

    Mexican location scout Carlos MuΓ±oz Portal was shot to death in a violent region in central Mexico Monday while scouting for season four of Netflix’s hit show β€œNarcos.” The seasoned scout, who worked for Stacy Perskie’s Mexico City-based production company Redrum, has a slew of high profile credits to his name, including, β€œSicario,” β€œSpectre,” β€œFast & Furious” and β€œApocalypto.”

    Netflix issued the following statement: β€œWe are aware of the passing of Carlos MuΓ±oz Portal, a well-respected location scout, and send our condolences to his family. The facts surrounding his death are still unknown as authorities continue to investigate.

    • Lars Littlefield

      Mexican Lives Matter!

      • DaddyRay

        Now we don’t know it was a murder – He may have been walking down the road when he tripped on an uneven surface on a sidewalk. He fell forward and landed on 47 bullets. The city is ow investigating solutions to fix this uneven surface.

  • Kissmagrits

    The day after the equinox…how portentous.
    Guess I won’t bother raking leaves this year.

  • Ken M

    Even the movie was a horrible joke Not about Nibiru, just named Planet X.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kU__dIbzduY

  • Leo Tallant

    I wonder what time of day it will happen as we will be doing things for my Mom’s 92nd Birthday and I would not want it to arrive right in the middle of the BBQ we will be doing for her. We might need to schedule around it…..

    • DaddyRay

      Wow 92 – what great fireworks you arranged

  • LovesIrony

    “Rapture” is a combination of disco, funk, and hip hop with the rap section forming an extended coda.[2][3] The song title “Rapture” served to indicate this element. While it was not the first single featuring rapping to be commercially successful, it was the first to top the charts. Its lyrics were especially notable for namechecking hip-hop pioneers Fab Five Freddy and Grandmaster Flash.

    • m_lp_ql_m

      I absolutely hated that song when it first came out. But then, I was so deep in the closet at the time, I hated non-masturbatory sex too, so what did I know? I realize how good it is now.

      • LovesIrony

        My Dad also hated that song…soon after its release he became good friends with Debbie Harry’s best friend Wilma and met Debbie several times and loved her. One year he asked her to kiss a business card from her parent’s store and gave it to me for Christmas. He was a darling man and it is my prize material possession.

  • FelineMama

    Big Whoop! I’ve lived thru so many end of the worlds, I’m exhausted. And, invincible I guess, also, too.

  • Mark NΓ©e Fuzz

    I don’t want to know the answer badly enough to watch the video, but did he turn this into a money beg? It’s always about money with these clowns. And btw, all those poor people who wasted money on Jim Bakker’s apocalypse buckets of slop will never get to use them – unless they think they would survive a surprise planetary collision.

  • Dramphooey
    • coram nobis

      Can they recall, there?

      • Dramphooey

        I’ve never heard of that in PA. Not sure how that would go in this district. It used to be strong Democrat but they’re elderly and went Trump. This guy replaced a useless Democrat.

    • Jerry Kott

      It is Pennsylvania. This is what people have begun to expect.

    • Sarah E. Grove

      I don’t know if you have a local newspaper that publishes letters from its constituents, but a well-written letter to he editor would be a good thing to do, as well as the FB post you talked about. I actually hate Facebook, and very rarely check anything on the site. (I guess I’m just an old-fashioned granny.)

  • m_lp_ql_m

    Meh… wake me when we’re about to collide with Planet XXX.

    • DaddyRay

      I think I saw that over on Pornhub last week

      • coram nobis

        Must’ve been quite a climax.

        • greenmanTN

          I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me.

          • coram nobis

            Three thumbs up!

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      I wanna collide with Planet Claire. https://youtu.be/WT1L5swMMVI

  • coram nobis
  • Halou

    How can he determine such a thing by looking down into the pages of a book? The sky is up.

    Also, any non-terrestrial object capable of having such a noticable effect on the planet would be close enough and large enough to see with the naked eye. We would all know it.

    And if “planet x” is beyond visual range it will not only be having zero gravitational effect on us but would also be traveling impossibly fast.

    • coram nobis

      They covered it up, of course.

    • Natty Enquirer

      Not if it hides in the glare of the sun! Checkmate unbeliever!

      • grada3784

        Issac Asimov used that already. Twice even.

    • m_lp_ql_m

      Not if it’s approaching on the UNDER side of this disk we live on.

      • another_steve

        Exactly. I was surprised the other day to find that the dishtowel I thought I had misplaced had actually fallen off the disk.

        This guy who lives underneath there was nice enough to ring my doorbell and return it.

        • bzrd

          wow, did he say anything about all those lost socks?

    • greenmanTN
  • greenmanTN
    • Lazycrockett

      “krill” Ha ha.

    • bzrd

      oh, god, don’t you know you’re supposed to use a measure spoon? that shake, shake, shake gave us way too many jerks with the biggest one occupying the WH

  • another_steve
    • Mike_in_the_Tundra

      I really need to move on from this picture.

    • motordog

      Woof

      • another_steve

        I know how to get guys here to look at my comments.

    • FelineMama

      Damn, how did you capture my dream!!!

      • another_steve

        I have a certain keen sense when it comes to identifying debauched and debased readers here.

    • johnnybc

      oy
      Jesus isn’t the only one who’s cumming!

  • Halou

    Anybody who is anybody knows that the true name of ‘Planet X’ is Mondas, not Nibiru.

  • IAMBOWLINGGREEN
    • another_steve

      So I was there. Made myself pretty for the occasion, and everything.

      Wasted afternoon.

    • Max_1

      2017 is the reboot…

    • jmax

      So Jesus only comes once every 25 years? That’s gonna be a big load.

    • Ben in Oakland

      I didn’t even have a pool boy in 1992.

  • Friday

    Err, yeah, ‘Christian Numerologists’ …. if you want to know if a freaking planet is a week away from an intercept, try *looking up.* Do you see a freaking planet coming? Didn’t think so.

  • RustynAtlanta

    It’s on Fox News’ Science page… WTF is wrong with these people?

    • RoFaWh

      Everything.

  • easygoingmister

    Please leave me behind so I can go jogging with Justin Theroux.

  • JT

    So, the plan is to have as much sex as possible until then. But wait …

    • another_steve

      That’s my plan everyday.

      (Based on how much time I spend here on this fuckin’ blog, you can see how well that plan is goin’…)

      • Ben in Oakland

        You need a husband.

        Ohhhhhh……..

        • another_steve

          Marriage: The Killer of Sex.

  • Captain Jack

    Damn and I have tickets to see Simrit that night…

  • Colonel Panic.

    Well, bum. For the first time in many years I’ve got christmas day off work and now there won’t be one.

  • Nic Peterson

    Ahem. Bear makeover team. This one is definitely one of yours. You have your work cut out for you, but I am certain that he could channel all of his crazy into something a bit more productive.

  • Tom Mears

    of course any thing as large as a planet, even a pluto sized itsy bitsy one would have been visible to astronomers for months if not years. But other than that tiny detail, his theory seems sound to me.

    Of course if he is that dead set on being dead on the 23rd, I would suggest his .45 is more effective.

    • grada3784

      Everyone knows Niburu is invisible.

      /s

    • Edmund Allin

      Not if the Earth is flat and Nibiru too – and approaching edge-on. But don’t worry if it approaches at an angle, it’ll just cut the Earth in two, not destory it.

  • Joe in PA

    You say Nibiru, I say covvfefe….

  • Mike_in_the_Tundra

    Maybe I should cancel my restaurant reservation for the 24th.

  • m_lp_ql_m

    I thought Niribu was in Africa.

    • Ann Kah

      Not yet.

  • abqdan

    I’ll bet he already has his powerpoint explanation ready for Sept 24th…

  • Max_1
    • m_lp_ql_m

      Rivaling the inauguration.

      • Max_1

        Hands down the. biggest. ever (period) No comparison. No comparison.

    • DaddyRay

      hahahahahahahahahaha

    • PickyPecker

      #WINNING

      • DaddyRay

        The “H” is silent

    • Dramphooey

      The Mother’s Basement of All Rallies. I was watching it on RawStory. Unbelievably poor speakers, one of whom sounded like a bombing stand up act. “I mean, hey, come on.” The feed actually switched between this and a Juggalo rally, which is better attended and has better speakers.

      • Max_1

        I couldn’t tell which rally threw more “f-bombs”…

    • Stogiebear

      Brian Brown is beginning to feel smug about the crowds he draws.

  • jmax

    Damn! I just made hotel reservations for Thanksgiving!

    • DaddyRay

      You Turkey

      • jmax

        Gobble gobble.

        • Ben in Oakland

          No sex please.

  • Moebym of the Returners
  • LarryChemEngr

    A planet only seven days away would be very hard to miss in the sky. Is it wearing a cloak of invisibility?

    Religious nuts are so entertaining.

    • Lesley

      lmao

    • grada3784

      It’s the Romulans. They have the cloaking device.

    • bzrd

      jeeeeeez, it’s hiding behind the moon!

  • Lazycrockett
    • Dramphooey

      What-what-what?! Really? These people.

    • JohnJay

      This can’t be real, can it? The Trumpettes ass trumpets will assplode.

      • DaddyRay

        Santorum will be everywhere

        • coram nobis

          Call HAZMAT and put out sandbags.

          • Snarkaholic

            And hand “Rev.” James Mann(crav)ing a straw!

    • m_lp_ql_m

      So confoozed. Is 45 sliding left?

      • another_steve

        One analyst has suggested that – assuming he hasn’t been forced to resign by then or isn’t in prison – Trump will run in 2020 as an Independent.

        He may be in the process of trying to re-brand himself now.

        • m_lp_ql_m

          Kinda makes sense. I really don’t think he’d do something like this simply because it’s a good thing to do.

        • canoebum

          Call me when he changes his registration to the Democratic Party. I’ll still loathe him with every fiber of my being, but it would drive the wingers nuts, and I’d pay to see that.

          • another_steve

            I heard a TV commentator say that Trump has changed his party affiliation five times during his lifetime already.

            Sounds unbelievable and I haven’t checked, but I assume it’s accurate.

          • robindaybird

            He was a dem until Obama was elected, because he’s a racist fuck

    • coram nobis

      Somebody switched Donald’s meds? He spins more than a weathervane of late. Old situations, new complications, tragedy tomorrow, comedy tonight.

      • Cuberly

        Did someone finally explain to him what a youuuuge economic mistake it’d be if it was completely abandoned?

      • CB

        Lovely. Absolutely lovely…

    • Cuberly

      But Whet about Aour Sovrenny??!?!/11 Izt got Pay-reee in teh name!

      So the MAGA idjits just blew a nationalist fuse.

    • DaddyRay

      Make sure to share this with your Republican relatives and neighbors

    • Max_1

      This is the weekend the Democrats take off…
      … And let Republicans call for impeachment, for a change.

    • Jean-Marc in Canada
    • Dramphooey

      Oh, I hope this is announced by one of the failed comics at the Mother in Law of All Rallies.

      • greenmanTN

        That name only works if the “mother” in question is octomom, since it looked like the turnout was about 8.

    • William

      No2 i put my hand to my ear and listen for the wailing of the Trumpeteers.

    • Cuberly

      I did a double take reading the Daily Edge tweet…lol….

    • greenmanTN

      I’m sure this will blow the “alt-right’s” minds, and he didn’t even have to use fractions!

    • Bad Tom

      Gotta be satire. Right?

    • Edmund Allin
  • JT
  • lymis

    “Christian numerologist.”

    The mind boggles.

    • LeeCMH

      Numerologist: hoccus pokus.
      Christian Numerologist: Christian hoccus pokus.

  • Ann Kah

    So what happens then? I mean, I can live without all you guys that are getting raptured.

  • Rocco

    There is no end to their crazy…but yet we are the “sick” ones! Lol & smh.…oh my.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    Planet Nibiru? I’ve heard that name before….oh that’s right, the planet in Star Trek, into Darkness. And just like that planet, this one is just as much a fiction. Moving on.

  • Max_1

    Comments are disabled for this video.

    Gee, I wonder why…

  • Tempus Fuggit

    Oh, brother. Not this delusion again!

    • another_steve

      Hey…stop complaining.

      It’s either this or another post about Milo Yiannopoulos.

  • William

    “But when worlds collide, said George Pal to his bride, I’m gonna give you some terrible thrills”

  • anne marie in philly

    yeah, and I will turn gay and fart rainbows on that day too. BULLSHIT!

    • Johnny Wyeknot

      Wish you would anyway!

      • anne marie in philly

        well, I can’t cause I was born a str8 girl hey! πŸ™‚

  • rednekokie

    Hmmm — that’s next Saturday — I’ll have to work hard to get to all the hotties I have in mind before we get blown to bits. I’ll just blow them to bits!!! MMMMM.

  • Paula

    I, for one, welcome the return of our Annunaki Overlords.

    • another_steve
      • Paula

        Gilgamesh is not amused.

        • another_steve

          As I suspected. NASA is lying to us.

          Same old same old.

        • Johnny Wyeknot

          Gilgamesh is the oldest known written fiction in the history of humanoids. And it’s gay!

      • Ben in Oakland

        Not the vogons. They’re bureaucrats, ferchrissakes, they’re BORING.

        • another_steve

          But their poetry is beautiful.

          • Ben in Oakland

            How do I love thee?
            Let me count the ways.
            1, 2, 3, 4..43…599…3,465,391…

  • margaretpoa

    If a planet was going to hit Earth in a week, we’d see it in the sky during daylight right now.

    • Johnny Wyeknot

      And we would have known about since about 1963

      • bzrd

        not when it’s hiding behind the moon

        • Bad Tom

          That’s a very passive-aggressive orbit.

        • Johnny Wyeknot

          You make a good point

  • Baltimatt

    Remember Family Radio and the predictions of the end of the world in 2011?

    It’s still around but has sold off many of its major market FM stations.

    http://www.mercurynews.com/2013/05/11/end-of-the-world-for-oaklands-family-radio/

    • Natty Enquirer

      Ah, good old Harold Camping. His world came to an end on December 15, 2013.

      • Ben in Oakland

        And still hoping for a resurrection, in a very dead sort of a way.

      • Bryan

        When I first saw the article I was assuming it was gonna be him again – which would be just……typical. Hilarious as fuck, but typical.

    • Sprightly

      9 minutes ago, FatBoy said:
      You are giving him what he craves. You and others that won’t put him on ignore or stop responding to him are enablers.

      Norman:
      Byngo. Fewer and fewer people are posting…it’s a shame.

      Your board is one of the worst moderated boards ever. You were driving away people as your enabling of Gino- luv and Jeebus and all the stupidity and protection of your mod pets have destroyed this board. I tried to warn everyone.
      I was banned ONLY because I complained about the moderation. I was the only honest person there.

      And it looks like I was right. Your board is becoming a joke. Congratulations Matt. Great job.

    • Sprightly

      Cmon Matt.
      We should start an UNMODERATED forum where we can honestly discuss what goes on with your forum?

      It would be such fun!!!
      Especially if we invite back the posters that you banned, and the many many posters who left because of the idiotic moderating on the Baltimore sun forums!

    • NightHawk/Marriage Guardian

      Hey Matt how are you? Yeah some good news here is that I just got approved for housing at an apartment where I will become a tenant at that complex in Provo Utah

      • Baltimatt

        Hi, Reece. Glad to hear. I hope you are doing well. I’m fine here.

        • NightHawk/Marriage Guardian

          I’m fine and okay just a lot of stuff on my mind. Yeah

  • Johnny Wyeknot

    Shirtsleeves white dress shirt. I’m convinced.

    • Ben in Oakland

      You’re too easily convinced. It only took the lots of arrows to convince me.

    • I look at him and think, “Tap, tap, tap in an airport mens’ room.”

  • Johnny Wyeknot

    Melancholia. Saw the movie.

  • Ben in Oakland

    Christian. Numerologist.
    We believes in magic and superstition, we does. Precioussssssss

    • BudClark

      As FORBIDDEN by their Wholly Babble …

  • orion dumptee

    oh RATS,,,there goes my plans for a Canasta party on the 24th

    • Bryan

      I “TOLD” you not to play with the Ball o’ Asbestos, it’s made of Asbestos. And tell those assholes to stop sending me damn lemons! I don’t want ’em. Take ’em back!

      • orion dumptee

        oh ,sorry, mate, i will go back to collecting pre-1965 automotive BRAKE shoes lol

  • Gianni

    “Christian Numerologist” – That has to be a doozy of a biblical oxymoron.

    • Ben in Oakland

      The Bible is a doozy of a biblical oxymoron.

    • Lori

      According to the book this idiot claims to believe in this entire exercise is A) utterly futile and B) sinful.

  • Westcoast88

    You would think that the scientists who predicted the eclipse would have given us a heads up. I feel let down.

  • David Raymore

    I did some research on this so called Planet X. In 1995, Nancy Lieder from Wisconsin claimed she received alien telepathic signals, aliens supposedly implanted a device in her brain, that the Earth will be destroyed in May 2003.

    Since nothing happened, she now says that the future date of destruction will be foretold in another time.

    She said when she was a little girl, aliens called Zetas abducted her and put a brain implant to notify of Earth’s future destruction. These aliens came from Zetas Reticuli.

    I wonder she watched too many episodes of Star Trek or something. Anyone believing her nonsense is an idiot just like this Christian Numerologist.

    • don’t you bring ST in to this! ST was pro-science 100%, on purpose. it was meant to be an alternative to the heavily religion-positive rest of TV was at those times.

    • RoFaWh

      “Zetas”

      Sounds like somebody isn’t familiar with the Greek alphabet…

      • David Raymore

        Actually, it should be Zeta Reticuli, and it is a star system that 39.71 light years away from Earth in the constellation Reticulum. I think this woman read an article that talked about it, and then she used that for her alien abduction story.

  • David

    Well, I currently have nothing on my calendar that day, so that’s for the heads up.

  • boobert

    At this point I’m surprised each day I wake up that the planet is still here !

  • Sporkfighter

    Damn. I’ve already bought season tickets for a local theater.

    • Mikey

      so you’re safe if the cheque bounces!

    • Bad Tom

      Me too!
      At least I’ll get the tax deduction for 2018.
      oh. Wait.

  • Talisman

    At least it’ll end this interminable administration.

  • djcoastermark

    Dang ! there goes my appointment on the 24th for a colonoscopy! I was so looking forward to it.

    • Phillip in L.A.

      Not gonna touch that one, sorry! πŸ™‚

    • motordog

      Have it on the 22nd…go out with a bang…

    • RoFaWh

      I trust you will ask the colonoscopist for a copy of the video to post to Youtube??

      • djcoastermark

        Oooh, what a good idea !

  • Steverino

    Because the Golden Rule is sooooooo boring.

  • mjsatty
  • Oh hell no! Lucifer starts its new season on October 2nd, Blade Runner 2049 is coming out on October 6th,
    and Mr. Robot returns on October 11th!

  • Beto

    Does that means starting september 24th I don’t have the need to pay taxes, credits and rent? Sounds good toWAIT, Blade Runner 2049 is coming out in october, how in the hell I can watch it since by then I will dust in the space? HOW?

    • Plus, exactly WHEN on the 24th? Is that the 24th in Australia, or the 24th (now the 25th in Australia) in the US?

      • Beto

        *Thinks* πŸ€”

      • NZArtist

        Thank you but we New Zealanders are first.

  • HoratioCaine

    thank goodness my experimental rocket is complete so that i can send my infant son clark to a distant planet via a space warp where he will be a god among men with powers beyond those of mere mortals.

  • David
  • dagobarbz, fine Italian shoes

    I am so tired of the threat of planet-on-planet violence! Can’t they just make sweet lurve?

  • jonfromcalifornia

    Don’t these people read their Bibles??? Jesus said NO one knows when the End will come. (Matthew 24:36) You have to be stupid to believe this nonsense. September 23 will come and go and this idiot will come up with some other excuse why nothing happened just as the Jehovah’s Witnesses have done over and over again since their founding in the late 1870s.

    • NZArtist

      Yes, they are stupid. And their reading of bibles is evidence of that stupidity.
      Lord of the Rings was a much better book.

  • andrew

    On Sept 24th he will just move on to new bull shit. That’s what religious nuts do.

  • Macbill

    Jesus will lead The Rupture wearing a purple hernia belt.

  • Dale Snyder

    I’ll see you guys on September 24th, when nothing has happened.

    Next?

  • Mike Knife

    The Vatican is hoping for something to distract people from their pedophile priest.
    NEWS SEP 15 2017, 12:01 PM ET
    Vatican Recalls Priest at Washington Embassy Amid Child Porn Investigation

  • ColdCountry

    Here we go again….

  • Happy_Housewife

    You know what? I’m ready. Bring it on. But I’m still making reservations for Christmas in Palm Springs.

  • Galvestonian

    … so what is gonna be the best excuse for when it doesn’t happen ??? ummmm, we must’ve gotten the number wrong or we misinterpreted the passages in the holy book … it’s actually next week that an invisible planet is gonna whack the world … oh yeah. If it doesn’t happen what are they gonna do – drink the Kool Aid ?

    • J Ascher

      These Christians who try to predict the end of the world always forget that verse, allegedly quoting Jesus, “no man knows the time of the coming of the Kingdom, not even the Son of Man,”

      • NZArtist

        Or that thing Sauron said to Frodo…

      • Karl Dubhe

        They’re really being nice, by predicting the end of the world every two minutes, they’re preventing Gawd from wiping all of us out.

        /s Oh, so very heavy on the /s

      • RoFaWh

        It’s a fairly easy, lucrative grift to carry out.

    • mjsatty
      • Bryan

        DEUS! EX! MACHINIAAAAAA!

  • Kissmagrits

    Oh, dear…and I was just adjusting to not wearing white after Labor Day.
    But, aren’t ascension robes usually white?

  • Itsatarp

    Oh, please. Haven’t they heard? It’s in the stars that next July we collide with Mars.
    I mean, really? Did you ever?

  • Gregory In Seattle

    I knew that religious fanatic are typically anti-science, but this guy takes the cake.

  • Tor

    Fuck. I was starting vacation on the 24th.

  • CharlestonDave
    • Snarkaholic

      When the loon moves into the White House
      He’s stupider than roofing tar
      His piss will spray the furniture
      And drugs make him bizarre
      This is the spawning of the Age of A-tro-cius, Age of A-trocius
      A-trociuuuuus, A-troooociiiiiuuuus!!!

      • CharlestonDave

        You should collaborate with Randy Rainbow!

        • Snarkaholic

          Thanks!

  • “the world will end on Sept. 23, 2017 as they believe a planet will collide with Earth.”

    I am guessing godless heathens planetary astronomers are keeping the secret that a planet is coming right at the earth. Thank god the Christian Numerologists are revealing the secret and know what they are talking about.. They don’t need to explain minor details about gravitational pull of the sun, or the speed of this very fast planet, which is not even entering our godless solar system..

    I am betting they also believe the earth is flat. as well.

  • I read the “link” at “Fox News Science”.. the level of idiocy to the piece is almost to an art level.

  • Oh, Parker

    Oh, damn. There goes our Alfa Romeo.

  • Bryan

    Can…can someone please just arrest these doomsday idiots? When Camping pulled his shitty little stunt, a bunch of idiots killed their pets. He’s indirectly Inciting to Riot. In addition to arresting whoever does it, he should get an extra charge per person per pet if anybody is stupid enough to believe him.

    He’s causing people to commit acts of violence by making faux claims, whether it’s to themselves, pets, or others – I think that’s pretty much the textbook definition of inciting a riot.

  • CourtneyJTaylor

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    on friday I bought range Land Rover Range Rover after earning $12817 this-last five weeks . with-out a doubt this is the easiest-work I’ve ever had . I started this eight months/ago and almost straight away started to bring in minimum $85, per hour . check out here
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  • JCF
  • Fake News.

  • mark99k

    It’s beyond comical that the solar eclipse, which had been predicted for decades, apparently took this nutjob by surprise.

    • RoFaWh

      Haters tend to be disconnected from what’s actually going on.

  • Sure, ALL the other so-called “prophets” that said the end of the world was coming were wrong. But THIS time…! Doesn’t this trick ever get old with these people???

  • Dagoril

    It must be true. He’s got a diagram on a whiteboard and everything.

  • sword

    I am sure that ‘believers’ will gladly donate all of their worldly goods before Sept. 23.

  • ChuckinTucson

    Well, this sucks. I’m signing the closing documents on my house on Thursday, the 21st. I’ll only be able to enjoy my new place for two days. Oh, the tribulations of being a Christian .

  • MarkBuster

    snap! no car payment!

  • Stogiebear

    Christian numerologists? Sounds like sorcery to me. He should immediately be put to death! “You shall not allow a sorcerer to live.”

  • wmforr

    Ah, me! If these “Christians” would read their Bible, they’d know that Jesus (remember him) said “No man will know the day or the hour…” That means you, huckster!

    • RJ Bone

      My old cult tried to argue that you could know the year, though πŸ˜‰

      If it’ll trigger a money-panic, they’ll twist anything biblical.

  • RJ Bone

    Huh. Funny, that. The only objects doing shit like that in their bible actually collide with the planet, not just sideswipe it.

    Comets or asteroids that fuck up the atmosphere with fallout, okay. That’s in there. Whole planets fucking with the atmosphere by gravitational pull? Newp. I don’t think the science would even support that unless it was way closer, does it?

    They’re appealing to the OTHER kooks that only ever got the occasional show on AM from 15 years ago. Those guys barely believed in christianity as it was, more going with the space-brothers and Jesus was an alien craziness. I used to listen to them and they have websites even now that you can spend hours lost in…

    But even crazier than von DΓ€niken, for sure. Some decent fan-fiction, perhaps.

    I never thought I’d see the backwater Jesus-god-alien craziness actually get this close to the general christian community…

    Wow.

  • RJ Bone

    Also… this guy? Aron Ra had a segment on him, IIRC. I don’t have a link, but the arguments above are just recycled from another event that he tried to go with that was also in September of that year.

    Just like my old cult. Just like other grifters.

    Lucky for this guy that the punishment for false prophets isn’t still being practiced.

  • Lee Grupsmith-Pedersen

    Again nothing. Gorramit! When when WHEN will I be able to go Rapture looting?