Ted Cruz On Dildos: Consenting Adults Should Be Able To Do Whatever They Want In Their Bedrooms [VIDEO]

CNN reports:

Sen. Ted Cruz denied Wednesday that he was the one who liked a pornographic video from his Twitter account. “It was not me,” Cruz said in an interview with CNN’s Dana Bash in Washington, calling the mishap “an honest mistake.”

Cruz reiterated the message from his office and said they had since identified the staffer, but refused to name the individual. “I promise you, the staffer feels terrible,” he said.

Cruz also addressed his time serving in Texas when he defended a state law that restricted sales of sex toys, and said he did not see the irony in the comparison between that and his response to the Twitter incident.

“I spent five and a half years as the solicitor general in Texas, I worked for the attorney general. The attorney general’s job is to defend the laws passed by the Texas legislature. One of those laws was a law restricting the sale of sex toys, which is a stupid law,” Cruz said. “Consenting adults should be able to do whatever they want in their bedrooms.”

  • Mrs. Councillor Nugent

    I’m lookin’ for a good vibrator, good, good, good vibrator

  • Paula

    Ted, I don’t even want to know what you do in your bedroom. I imagine it has something to do with bloodletting and an ovipositor of some sort.
    https://media.giphy.com/media/26AHAjtBkU97xeN56/giphy.gif

  • bambinoitaliano

    So now he got caught fapping off on twitter, it’s okay for other people to have sex? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/848003f1e2dcad1af831a8a2617d296faf37475428926eadff3c9c9e82074113.jpg

    • Todd20036

      But not gay people…

      • lymis

        Silly. It would be okay for gay people to have sex if we were allowed to exist at all.

    • FancyThat

      I’ve looked up ‘fapping’ on Urban Dictionary to understand the term. Is
      “fabbing” a more fabulous form of fapping? Or is fabbing how GOP dudes fap?

      • bambinoitaliano

        You are right, he does not deserve the fabulous fap.

  • RyanInIllinois

    Ted Cruz should be classified as a birth control device. Or perhaps a chastity device. Nobody feels like doing it once he’s even crossed their minds for a fleeting moment.

  • Christopher

    A dildo commenting on dildos.

    Now I’ve seen everything.

  • Mark

    Yeah, right……

  • geoffalnutt

    No Republican has EVER made “an honest mistake”. Please.

  • William

    Was it Cruz or Abbott who said that dildos dislodge fetuses?

    • Lars Littlefield

      They do a good job of dislodging impacted colons.

      • Tomcat

        One might think they would impact the colon even more.

        • Lars Littlefield

          Depends if it vibrates or not.

    • The_Wretched

      That’s not how the biology works. The list of the remedial education classes for relgionists keeps growing.

  • bkmn

    * unless you are one of them there LGBT kinds, in which case Ted has no problem seeing you prosecuted

  • Mikey

    I definitely sense a deep dark secret lurking below the surface that someone may or may not have used as leverage against Cruz.

    • bkmn

      The rumor is still circulating that Ted Cruz was in the DC madam’s phone book

      • safari

        Of course he was.

      • boatboy_srq

        In the “refuse all calls from” section?

        • billbear1961

          lol

  • safari
    • billbear1961

      lol

    • coram nobis

      There was a precedent, and it involved former Rep. Clement Vallandigham, a rebel sympathizer (Copperhead) during the civil war. Afterward, he went into law practice. Wikipedia page (spoiler alert) on Mr. V:

      Vallandigham died in 1871 in Lebanon, Ohio, at the age of 50, after accidentally shooting himself in the abdomen with a pistol. He was representing a defendant, Thomas McGehan, in a murder case for killing a man in a barroom brawl in Hamilton, Ohio. Vallandigham attempted to prove the victim, Tom Myers, had in fact accidentally shot himself while drawing his pistol from a pocket while rising from a kneeling position. As Vallandigham conferred with fellow defense attorneys in his hotel room at the Lebanon House, today’s Golden Lamb Inn, he showed them how he would demonstrate this to the jury. Selecting a pistol he believed to be unloaded, he put it in his pocket and enacted the events as they might have happened, snagging the loaded gun on his clothing and unintentionally causing it to discharge into his belly. Although he was fatally wounded, Vallandigham’s demonstration proved his point, and the defendant, Thomas McGehan, was acquitted and released from custody (to be shot to death four years later in his saloon).

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clement_Vallandigham

      • Gustav2

        The Golden Lamb Inn is owned by Sen Portman’s family

        • coram nobis

          We learn something every day here at JMG.

      • billbear1961

        O_O

        Only in America!

    • another_steve

      Only “nicked his abdomen”?

      O cruel and heartless fate… why hate ye humankind so?

    • Tomcat

      Loved the part about the hot air.

      • DeanaJCranston

        Boost your earnings on Google & make $99/hour by working from a home computer.
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    • Christopher

      FFS Moore! Next time, COMMIT!

    • Stogiebear

      Damn those tetanus shots!

  • billbear1961

    You ARE a dildo.

    • another_steve

      Why defame dildos like that, billbear?

      • billbear1961

        Because I’m in a nasty mood?

  • another_steve

    The thought of Ted and his wife doing it makes me want to vomit.

    • coram nobis

      That’s the reason for toys.

    • billbear1961

      “Think of England, men! Think of England!”

    • safari

      Close your eyes.
      Remember the sound the principal made in Forrest Gump.
      Pinch your nipple.

    • Bluto

      Imagine how Heidi feels.

      • safari

        She did have a breakdown…

        • William

          Thorazine is a wonder drug.

      • another_steve

        Remember the side-by-side of her and Melania?

        Donald thinks Heidi’s ugly.

  • The_Wretched

    So Ted is, by his own actions, keeping the story in the news? That makes it look like an intentional goof up or, if I’m being generous, ‘lemonade’.

  • Christopher
    • safari

      Not going to lie, I’d browse at the very least.

  • Sam_Handwich
    • coram nobis

      “So, why did we have failure to launch?”

  • Rebecca Gardner

    This is all I think of every time Ted Cruz is mentioned.

    https://youtu.be/v75wCTMZoSY

  • IAMBOWLINGGREEN

    Nobody wants to touch Ted’s green eggs and ham.

  • justme

    Wonder if it was Teddie’s dear old dad??

  • Tomcat

    Now he wants to be an authority on dildos.

    • justme

      welll..Look at him.. Does he not fit the role??

      • Tomcat

        More like batshit authoritarian.

    • boatboy_srq

      Isn’t it a bit late for that?

    • William

      Ted has binders full of dildos.

      • jmax

        I was gonna say an assload of dildos but that sounded wrong.

        • William

          That would take a gaping hole.

  • Treant

    Including watch a woman’s husband fuck another woman while the wife touches herself and hit like without being called a perv. Jeez.

  • That_Looks_Delicious

    All the week’s stories are mysteriously interconnected.
    This must be a sign that he really is the Zodiac killer. It’s some kind of code.

    https://twitter.com/MiamiHerald/status/908039848212271111

  • barrixines

    I heard in Ted’s case the dildo denied it had given its consent.

  • His roommate from college says Teddy was a chronic and constant masturbator.

  • LovesIrony

    like reading Dr. Seuss books while your wife pleases herself.

  • boobert

    Poor heidi , having creepy ted on you is bad enough, but now he wants to use sex toys. YUK!

  • Sam_Handwich

    o/t

    Washington (CNN) Former national security adviser Susan Rice privately told House investigators that she unmasked the identities of senior Trump officials to
    understand why the crown prince of the United Arab Emirates was in New York late last year, multiple sources told CNN.

    The New York meeting preceded a separate effort by the UAE to facilitate a back-channel communication between Russia and the incoming Trump White House.

    The crown prince, Sheikh Mohammed bin Zayed al-Nahyan, arrived in New York last December in the transition period before Trump was sworn into office for a meeting with several top Trump officials, including Michael Flynn, the president’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, and his top strategist Steve Bannon, sources said.

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/13/politics/susan-rice-house-investigators-unmasked-trump-officials/index.html

    • And of course the treasonous Trump administration and their GOP co-conspirators will claim it was illegal for the then-current national security adviser to do her job.

      • lymis

        They already did so. That was the whole point. They’ve been saying that about this for a while now. We’ve just finally gotten the details of just what it was she unmasked.

    • That_Looks_Delicious

      Bannon, really? This is the first I’d heard of him being directly involved in those meetings.

      • coram nobis

        Maybe that’s why he left.

        • Steverino

          Bannon would take umbrage at using the word “left” in reference to an action taken by him. I’m sure he prefers people to say he “departed.”

          • Amanda B. Rekendwith

            Kind of like my preference for gayly forward instead of ‘straight ahead’
            🙂

          • coram nobis

            In the same sense someone having an orgasm would yell, “I’m arriving! I’m arriving!”

    • The_Wretched

      Why was the incoming Trump admin so hell-bent for getting a supersecret back channel? Didn’t Kusher meet somewhere in the Indian ocean at some resort to try as well? Maybe this is part of that?

    • William

      This was the counterpart to the meeting Erik Prince had in the Seychelles.

  • Tomcat

    Cruz just wants to please his wife and that is difficult with his teeny weenie.

  • Treant
  • Tomcat

    Zucchini is not just for salad anymore at the Cruz homestead.

    • safari

      They only eat Chunky Soup

  • Christopher
    • MT YVR

      “What’s the difference between a circumcision and a divorce?”
      “Oh that’s easy, with a divorce you get rid of the whole dick.”

  • TheManicMechanic

    And with that Ted’s daughter pushed him forcefully away again and made that squicky face we’ve seen so often on the campaign trail.

  • greenmanTN

    “Ted Cruz on dildos” might be the most sickening thing I’ve read today.

    • Christopher

      Whatever you do, make sure that your imagination is completely turned off.

  • Ninja0980

    https://twitter.com/chrislhayes/status/908081867387260928
    O/T but this here highlights another stupid move Democrats made.
    Republicans did away with the blue slip before but for some stupid reason, Democrats let the practice stand for six years even when Republicans abused it to no end.
    Trump is getting to fill seats with right wing judges that should have been filled long ago with Obama nominees.
    Once again, Democrats played nice, Republicans played to win.

    • billbear1961

      They never raise HELL about ANY Republican ABUSES, which in my book makes them COMPLICIT, Ninja!

  • Tomcat

    Let me guess the staffer was his wife.

  • greenmanTN

    Ted’s just hanging out chatting because the other 3 horsemen of the Apocalypse are running late.

    https://33hpwq10j9luq8gl43e62q4e-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/tumblr_okgkye7iqd1tr6ni8o1_500.gif

  • another_steve

    A moment out, now, to remark how good Joe is today.

    I mean, he’s always good… but today, he’s very good.

    • Mike_in_the_Tundra

      Get back to me when he’s being very, very bad.

    • David Walker

      “When I’m good I’m very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better.” Mae West

  • Halou
    • Sam_Handwich

      don’t drag Callista Gingrich into this hot mess

      • clay

        or Oily Taintz.

      • TrollopeReader

        isn’t that an airport in Paris??

  • AtticusP
  • Dagoril

    I keep enough control of my twitter device that no one else can “hack me” and click like on dildo videos or whatever the hell lame excuse he’s making up.

    Bottom line: Either he is lying about it, and as usual is a hypocritical gooper who refuses to take responsibility for his actions…or 2), he is way too incompetent to be trusted with anything of any import.

    • boatboy_srq

      These are distinct? IYAM he’s at least a bit of both.

  • Halou
  • safari
    • Sam_Handwich

      ahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa douche

    • boobert

      Oh please put him with the general prison population !

      • Tomcat

        No reason not to.

    • Tomcat

      K.A.R.M.A… Is a bitch!

    • safari

      I’m no judicial expert, but doesn’t this factor into his ultimate sentencing severity?

      • Tomcat

        Yeah, time served.

    • Ninja0980

      Nice to have some good news finally.

    • Jean-Marc in Canada
      • Tomcat

        Glad America was finally able to amuse you. We will continue to do our best to do so.

        • Jean-Marc in Canada

          Well, with a Clown in the WH and the Circus he brought to DC, it’s not hard to laugh.

          • TrollopeReader

            when Ringling Bros. has to close their circus ….

    • billbear1961
      • Jean-Marc in Canada

        PERFECT SELECTION!!!!

        I doff my Chapeau Monsieur

    • Natty Enquirer

      But it was a joking solicitation of assault!

    • Jean-Marc in Canada
    • bambinoitaliano

      Please take a picture and we will be sending it to a bunch of white racist assholes like Eric and Trump Jr, that irrelevant twins from the last thread, Michael Flynn Jr., Jared et al……

    • Tomcat

      Knowing that sick fuck he was trying to make a poison that would only harm Hillary..

  • hdtex
    • bambinoitaliano

      Poor butt plug trying to avoid being sit on by Ted.

      • TrollopeReader

        jump! jump out of the way!! Jump, i say !!!

  • boobert

    EWW ! The daughter has the right idea.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gplpSfaouP8

  • shellback

    Words that never belong together in the same sentence:
    Ted Cruz : Sex
    http://mvgen.com/submitted_gifs/1459971778Ep8kb7.gif

  • TuuxKabin

    Then consent to allowing Wendy, or whatever you wife’s’ name is, to put a pillow over you head while the children help hold it down.

  • Blake J Butler

    Frank Vincent, Goodfellas and Sopranos cast member dies at 78 from heart surgery complications

    https://www.google.com/amp/www.hollywoodreporter.com/amp/news/frank-vincent-dead-phil-leotardo-sopranos-was-78-1038726

  • Steverino

    I imagine many of the rubes who support Ted Cruz think a dildo is a female deer with a penchant for dill weed.

    • boatboy_srq

      mmmmm… venison…. wait, what?

  • ericxdc

    “Ted Cruz On Dildos” … a headline I had hoped to never live to read.

    • TrollopeReader

      imagine his two young daughters !! poor kinds …

  • Cuberly

    What sort of sex toy do you use on a cloaca?

  • FelineMama

    “staffer feels terrible” ‘so she/he is taking some time off to spend with family.’ “Consenting adults s/b able to do blah blah…. ” Exactly! So, why is guvmint always in THEIR bedrooms?

  • David

    No Ted!!!
    Humanity does NOT want to know what fucked up things you do in your bedroom, how you do them, what accoutrements you use to do them, or who or what you do them to.

  • TuuxKabin

    I think Sam Handwich posted this story from the NYT’s. About Senator Tim Scott (R) from SC, I believe.

    I replied to the post, but discus blocked my reply, saying the post had been removed . . . WTF is that about? My comment was that the WH referred to Sen. Tim Scott as Ted Scott. Typical fuckupery.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/13/us/politics/trump-tim-scott-charlottesville-race.html?mcubz=1

    • ohh myy

      Not surprised that
      1) the White House turned it into a photo op
      2) the White House got his name wrong

  • clay

    “Consenting adults should be able to do whatever they want in their bedrooms.” . .

    or while watching from the hallway?

  • LesbianTippingHabits


    As Texas’ new Solicitor General in 2003, Ted Cruz pussied out on defending another law passed by the Texas legislature and signed by the governor: Section 21.06, the gay-only sodomy law challenged in Lawrence v. Texas (2003) in the Supreme Court.

    And, the law remains on the books. [Seriously.]

  • Palto
  • Dot Beech

    “Ted Cruz On Dildos”

    Ugh.

  • Lee Grupsmith-Pedersen

    You do know, Ted, that since the internet never forgets we will be holding you to this FOR. THE. REST. OF. YOUR. LIFE. Or your career, whichever ends first.

  • fuow

    Gosh, ain’t rethunglicans just great? Imagine how awful life would be if Democrats or other liberals got voted for….

  • Talisman

    Careful, Cruz, that is dangerously close to saying the butt sex is none of your business.

  • Cuberly

    Can’t even imagine what Cruz household sex play is like.

    https://thumbs.gfycat.com/QuarrelsomeDeterminedCygnet-small.gif

  • Greg B.

    “I promise you, the staffer feels terrible,”

    Mmmhmmm. In fact the staffer feels so terrible than it’s barely twitched or gotten any attention from Ted’s right hand since this whole embarrassing thing began.

  • anne marie in philly

    he knows all about extramarital sex and toys…he’s a GOPrick!

  • infmom

    Ted Cruz IS a dildo.

    • JCF

      Not near ANY of my holes!

  • DeanaJCranston

    Boost your earnings on Google & make $99/hour by working from a home computer.
    on tuesday I bought a great Ford when I got my check for $9355 this past five weeks . this is definitely my favourite-job Ive ever done . I began this 3 months ago and pretty much straight away was bringin home over $99, p/h . see this website
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  • Friday

    Of course, Ted, it’s still the Christianist Republicans (like your staff) that seem to have the porn issues, eh? I wonder why?

  • Jay Silversmith

    “Consenting adults should be able to do whatever they want in their bedrooms.” OMG….Ted has been BORN AGAIN.

  • Vira

    He’s lying. I flat out don’t believe it wasn’t Cruz himself.

    Would be interesting to see a poll on how many believe it was an “unidentified staffer” versus how many believe Cruz was cruising porn sites.

    Ted Cruz = Anthony Weiner