Ted Cruz Blames Porn Tweet On Unnamed Staffer

NBC News reports:

Sen. Ted Cruz is getting a lot of unwanted attention on social media Tuesday morning after the Texas Republican’s account liked a tweet featuring a pornographic video. Cruz addressed the notoriety Tuesday, even joking about it before answering questions from reporters on Capitol Hill: “This is not how I envisioned waking up this morning.”

He said he could have used this kind of attention during the Indiana primary, when he was running for president. “There are a number of people on the team that have access to the account and it appears that someone inadvertently hit the like button. And when we discovered the post, which I was I guess an hour or two later, we pulled it down,” Cruz said.

He said the action wasn’t deliberate, reiterating that when asked if the person responsible would be disciplined. “We’re dealing with it internally, but it was a mistake, it was not malicious conduct,” Cruz said.

  • Jacob

    Oh. I thought he said “stiffer”.

  • Tawreos

    Someone forgot to switch accounts before going on a porn loop.

  • licuado de platano

    Unnamed staffer = unfurled stiffy

  • another_steve

    Jesus hates Ted Cruz.

    He told me so.

    • Jonathan Smith

      EVERYBODY hates Ted Cruz.

      • FAEN

        And you aren’t exaggerating-literally everyone hates him. Pity the assholes who put this shit in office still do.

        • I’m not sure he won’t be knocked out in the primary next year. Of course the person who wins that primary won’t be any better, but my sense is that even people who voted for him didn’t much like him.

        • another_steve

          Just ask Donald Trump.

          Could you love a man whose father was complicit in the JFK assassination?

        • Ninja0980

          It’s the R next to his name, nothing else.

    • Tawreos

      Who doesn’t?

    • kaydenpat

      Tell him to get in line. We all hate Ted.

  • RealityBass

    Ted was worried he was falling behind in the misogyny race.

  • 5moreminutes*imtired

    Fundie Jesus does not like liars, Teddy boy. ⚑⚑⚑⚑

  • grada3784

    I suspect that something else was pulled down when the like button was hit.

  • bkmn
    • kaydenpat

      Lol!!

    • Uncle Mark

      “Ha..ha, this is not how I envisioned waking up this morning.” Except you did NOT wake up to this, this morning…unless you get up before 1:16 AM, you fucking liar. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e67562d9d4238ffd15ba42bb0915ea7c8d32bc0dd729baf1d6a97ca65ec9beaa.jpg

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    • ElenorRigby

      Honestly, as someone who’s worked for a campaign… I knew this is what happened from the start. 99% of the time, candidates don’t even know how to access twitter and they just send a text to their assistant’s assistant saying “can you chirp this on the Twitter thing?”

      Not that I’m a fan of Cruz in any way, but I don’t honestly think he was dumb enough to like a porn video on his own Twitter, even Anthony Weiner wouldn’t have done that.

      • JCF

        Anthony had “Carlos Danger!” for that…

      • jixter

        So he wasn’t ‘enjoying’ porn with an “unnamed staffer”?

        “… we pulled it down, … we’re dealing with it internally … but it was a mistake …”

  • clay

    β€œThis is not how I envisioned waking up this morning.”

    With Heidi yelling in your face? With Heidi rubbing one out as you schtup one of your five mistresses? To the sounds of Fox News? By a staff-member (can we avoid those words with this story?) getting to you hours before the alarm clock was set? Please, describe to us how you woke up and how you envisioned it. I imagine it’s a paper towel versus napkin kind of thing.

  • FAEN

    “Why are you persecuting me?”

    • Uncle Mark

      I wonder if there’s such a thing as “persecution porn?” Ted would know

      • MT YVR

        Rule 34. If it a thing exists, there’s a porn for it.

      • FAEN

        If there is such a company that produces it you can bet your ass Cruz has invested in it.

  • shellback

    ♩♬β™ͺβ™«β™©β™ͺ And then I saw his face… ♩♬β™ͺβ™«β™©β™ͺ
    http://mvgen.com/submitted_gifs/1459971778Ep8kb7.gif

    From a song by the Monkees. Remember them?

    • Todd20036

      I’m a believer…

      • shellback

        Yeah! You win. Do you want what’s behind Door #2, what’s in this paper bag, or what’s in my pocket? Quickly, your time is almost up.

        • Todd20036

          I’m always a fan of what’s in men’s pockets….

      • Uncle Mark

        More of a “dry-heaver” after looking at Ted

        • Librarykid

          His looks are deteriorating. Must be all of that hate, bigotry and mendacity backing up into his face. Pretty soon his children will be afraid to look at his face and will run screaming from him.

    • Jefe5084

      Coughed up a Ted. Get’s stuck in anyone’s craw.

  • Paula

    Inadvertently. Yeah, whatever. Nice try, Teddy.

  • bambinoitaliano

    The shit gibbon and this zodiac killer must be vying for the top list of boner killer. Nothing curb one sexual appetite than imagining these two jerking off or having sex. Not even the image of your grandma could do such damage.

  • FAEN

    I don’t read the Bible but anyone know what the punishment for lust is? And when do we get to meat it out to Cruz.

  • Lazycrockett
    • Pip

      Oh, girl.. you know what it is. It’s those ovaries. Their votes were made by long deliberation and thought. Yours was due to feelings, passive manipulation, and a good dose of female hysteria.

    • kaydenpat

      I don’t agree with Kornacki. Clinton has been demonized in a way that Kerry and certainly Biden has not been.

      • thom

        Kerry hasn’t had any of the vitriol that Clinton is getting

        • Todd20036

          Clinton being female is a big part of why she was the target of the Nazis.

    • CanuckDon

      That’s a heartbreaking statement from Hillary. So many of us keep asking the same question. Must be some sort of unjustified vengeance from a bunch of old white men feeling threatened by the strong female voice. Guess all the money in the world isn’t able to quell their mommy issues.

    • Ninja0980

      They were smeared too but the Hillary hate is a whole nother level.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    If any politician should ever be compared to rat, it is this freak.

  • Todd20036

    Right Ted. Because staffers love getting on their boss’ account and read porn.
    And there’s no such thing as firewalls in your office so no one can download porn at work.

  • Jonathan Smith
  • Max_1
    • kaydenpat

      Is that a real recording? Hilarious (although the kid sounds mortified).

      • The_Wretched

        Scared for life. That’s a poor handling of sexuality issues.

    • Christopher

      I’m guessing that kid is gonna be screaming about “having a virus” for years to come.

    • BJORN RAGNVALDR

      Kid has a virus alright, Fucktardedmothernella.

      • Max_1

        Maybe mom want’s to see the virus…
        … Mom’s get itches too, ya know.

  • kaydenpat

    His alter ego.

  • bambinoitaliano
    • jerry

      Always love what Chris Kluwe has to say.

      • bambinoitaliano

        He has such rich words for penises.

  • Why was there porn in his official account’s feed to be “liked”?

    • Todd20036

      What else is he going to do at work?

  • Adam Stevens

    Damn. And here I thought that looking at porn was the most normal thing this dude’s ever done.

  • JWC

    The look on Teddy’s face is that he always looks just like he messed his britches and is caught betwen “OH OH’ and “That feels good”

  • Butch

    That bag of pot on the seat of my car? SOMEBODY MUST HAVE PUT IT THERE.

    • Christopher

      Wasn’t me!

      If I’d have seen it, you would need a new bag. πŸ˜‰

      • Butch

        I would never leave it lying around unused anyway…..

  • thom

    Ted Cruz: making Cuckqueans great again

  • Pip

    Ted Cruz has always reminded me of that cousin everyone has in their family. You know, the one that you don’t want to leave alone with anything of value or your children.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok
    • if that’s the case, i’m going to jail.
      A lot.
      A Lot.
      A LOT.

      • bambinoitaliano

        And they can’t put you in isolation cell either. πŸ˜›

      • KCMC

        share a cell mate?

    • The_Wretched

      There’s a literal infinity of items not enumerated at law about what constitutes a fair and free society where you have the right to pursuit of happiness. Noone needs a government to tell them when it’s ok to be human.

    • Uncle Mark

      So much for that whole “right to life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness” Bill O’Rights thing. Wasn’t Cruz alleged to be near the top of his class in law school?

  • Jefe5084

    Dang. His picture must be under the definition of Bullshit in the dictionary. But they need a fuckin picture gallery of Republicans under that word. Worthless. Actually he has a negative value to the world. “inadvertent” my ass. Lyiin’ Ted.

  • Do Something Nice

    One would think that Ted would wipe the jizz from his chin before allowing someone to take that photograph.

  • bambinoitaliano
    • The_Wretched

      Is it wrong to love that twitter account?

      • Lumpy Gaga

        Is it wrong to want a Taiwanese animation of Ted spraying his seed over computers?

        • The_Wretched

          Or maybe a claymation one like that Trump pee tape.

    • Max_1
      • bambinoitaliano

        I don’t know how desperate I would be to put my vijajay that close to that monster face.

        • Todd20036

          Some of those women are actually providing for children who have absent fathers.

  • The_Wretched

    See also Streisand Effect. Keep talking Raphael.

  • royinhell

    How could you, Ted? And RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD??

  • vorpal 😼

    Post-masturbatory regrets.

  • Harveyrabbit
  • Clive Johnson

    OT: Richard Spencer’s Website Calls for Neo-Nazis to Arms Themselves, Prepare for War

    http://reverepress.com/politics/richard-spencers-website-calls-neo-nazis-arms-prepare-war/

    • Todd20036

      Let them. We saw how well they “fought” in Charlottesville.

  • thom

    I’ve done this before… thought I was on my twitter profile for porn and liked something. But, nope, was on my personal one… luckily I have very few followers. Lol πŸ˜€

  • Sam_Handwich

    He should apologize for ruining America’s breakfast. And lunch. Possibly dinner.

    • bambinoitaliano

      I want that part of my memory zap.

  • ultragreen

    At a bare minimum, this means the holier-than-thou senator has at least one staff member who uses his account to view pornography. This is just the tip of the iceberg, of course. If the full truth was known…

    • Lumpy Gaga

      “tip”

  • joeyj1220
    • Todd20036

      Nice lips.

  • bambinoitaliano

    I suppose its one pole he can claimed beaten with 100% success rate.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Porn Again Christian.

  • JWC

    O/T An ironic twist ,tonight on many channels,there is a benefit/relief concert called “Hand in Hand” Given that these performers at best could be referred to as the “”Liberal Left isn’t it a tad interesting that a goodly portion will go to a homophobic state like Texas Oh I am not saying that the poor suffering people of Texas are not deserving Its just Texas ‘s political policies were obtuse before Harvet and will be obtuse after. Mexico offered aid even after a fence is to be built (since recinded because Trump did not mention their devastating eartquake). I know, and agree it’s to take the hi road here. its just worth mentioning

    • clay

      Of the 90 GOPpers who voted against Harvey Relief, 10% were from Kansas and Missouri. The Kansas City Star has not taken kindly to them.
      http://www.kansascity.com/opinion/editorials/article172671301.html

      • JWC

        Lets see how they fare when they suffer (Gawd forbid) some natural horrific calamity Be careful what you wish for you might get it

        • clay

          KC Star editorial points out that 6 of the 9 already have a record of begging extra funds from the federal government.

  • Tatonka

    I bet it was Heidi. πŸ™‚

    • bambinoitaliano

      Poor woman was all fine that she does not have to put out again. But now with the social media bombardment, she has to pick up the wifey duty of a Christian woman to quell the ‘rumor”.

      • Tatonka

        “Shh, Heidi” Ted whispered, eyes pleading. “Shh. Just lie back and think of Texas.”

  • Jonathan Smith
  • ColdCountry

    And I still don’t care….

  • AtticusP

    “Unnamed staffer”?

    I’ve heard men call their penises very unusual names, but this one takes the cake.

    • thom

      Lol 🀣🀣🀣

    • Dan M

      I think it was autocorrected from Unnamed Stiffie.

      • AtticusP

        Or perhaps “Untamed Stiffie”…

        • thom

          That sounds like a title to a video I would accidently “like”

          • JCF

            LOL

    • Librarykid

      It’s related to the “staff of life” idea.

  • Ray Page

    “This is not how I envisioned waking up this morning,” Cruz said.

    The fact that Ted Cruz woke up this morning is proof there is no god.

    • paganguy

      I bet his wife says that every morning too.

  • Skokieguy [Larry]

    O/T: This is Radar online, so take with a grain of salt, but a guy can dream?

    “As Radar recently reported, NBC execs were planning to bring MSNBC star Rachel Maddow into Today after they began to lose faith in Kelly” [Megyn Kelly]

    β€œExpect Today to introduce Rachel slowly β€” putting her on once or twice a week, and then increasing her role until she’s a full-time member of the Today family,” a source said.”

    http://radaronline.com/celebrity-news/megyn-kelly-fired-nbc-today-show-ratings/

    • JWC

      Leave Rachel where she is. I would suspect this as an attempt to tone her down

  • bambinoitaliano

    O/T Keep talking. Just don’t mind me.
    https://twitter.com/Mikel_Jollett/status/907314606833516544

    • Bluto

      Who’s a good boy!

  • Ernest Endevor

    What is that expression when the right hand doesn’t know what the left hand is doing? Or vice versa?

  • thom

    OT:// Russia Sought A Broad Reset With Trump, Secret Document Shows https://t.co/iVOyL8IKrc via @John_Hudson

  • Max_1
  • kelven

    Can you imagine being a normal person and coming into work to find this is what awaits you for the day? Spinning and lying and stamping out fires all day because your sanctimonious boss gets so caught up in his porn browsing he forgets internet basics.

    Of course anyone who works for someone like this isn’t normal.

    • bambinoitaliano

      It’s exactly what the shit gibbon admin is. Would not matter he surround himself with the best of the best in their respective profession if all he needs is some cleaning crew to follow behind picking up his dump.

    • coram nobis

      Worse if your VIP boss is a “screamer,” by which I don’t mean what he does sexually.

      • kelven

        Exactly. Imagine ol’ Ted yelling and flailing his arms around wanting someone to come up with something, anything, to take the focus off him and basically implying it is everyone else’s fault. Even the most die hard koolaid drinkers are thinking to themselves maybe they should start sending their resume out.

  • thom

    “I think I’d like Ted Cruz better if he admitted to having “liked” the porn tweet himself. It would provide at least some proof of normalcy.”
    -Ana Navarro

  • Ninja0980

    Sure Ted, sure.

  • Max_1
  • Lazycrockett

    So Andrea Mitchell is criticizing Hillary for not sending Tim Kayne an advance copy of her book, cause he has to go out and buy one. ???????

    • bambinoitaliano

      That’s the kind of people she is. Expecting freebies from friends she claimed to support.

    • Cipher

      God knows, it’s truly as if he wasn’t even there….

  • Publius

    Literally nobody in the entire world believes that story.

    • bambinoitaliano

      His supporters do. As repulsive as he is, he got his voters.

    • thom

      People believe Mexico will pay for the wall, believe Hillary runs a pedophile ring from a pizza joint, believe Obana isn’t America, believe Trump handled Harvey better than Obama handled Katrina… etc etc

      • Publius

        Well personally I’m outraged President Obummertardummunist did NOTHING about Hurricane Katrina when he was president. Libtards will say the hurricane was “over” and it was “years” before he became president, but that’s just the lamestream KKKlinton media for you!

        • thom

          Right?
          Slacker

        • MT YVR

          Personally I’m horribly offended he did nothing about Irma. No planning, no accountability for his gov’t. He just didn’t care enough about the people of the USA.

          (seriously… I’m waiting for it)

  • TrollopeReader

    Has anyone ever confirmed what that thing is that is where a normal human’s chin would be??

  • Max_1
  • mattdocmartin

    So he’s throwing a phantom person on a sword.

  • KaBoomBOX

    Uh huh. Yeah. Right. #eyeroll

    • Reality.Bites

      Far more likely and believable than Cruz himself using the account for anything, let alone viewing and liking porn.

      Let’s TRY not to be as stupid as Republicans when it comes to believing unlikely stories about political adversaries.

      Tell me he cruises online for escorts and pays for their silence, that I could believe. Stupidity like this, no. Most logical explanation is exactly what he said.

  • Jefe5084

    Teddie’s college roommate Craig Mazin @clmazin, has some choice tweets about Teddie and his hypocrisy about whacking it.

  • anne marie in philly

    sure, teddy boy, sure. you GOPricks love your porn!

  • Rex

    I will not porn shame Cruz.
    I will shame him for being an asshole.

    • thom

      πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

    • JCF

      I think shaming him being a hypocrite is appropriate.

  • Rex

    I can see how it could happen inadvertently – especially when your not using your dominate hand to hold the phone.

    • coram nobis

      Brings new meaning to “i Phone”, doesn’t it?

  • Rex

    I really don’t want to think about Ted Cruz’s staff in relation to porn.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada
    • Phillip in L.A.

      ‘¿Ay, quΓ© dijo este “Zodiac Killer”?!

  • TheManicMechanic

    You know Cruz is into booger eating porn.

  • Professor Barnhardt
    • coram nobis

      “Translucent.”

  • barrixines

    Dear dog! Couldn’t he just say “Yeah I like bewbs.” It would be an indication that somewhere deep within that reptilian hide there was just the odd segment or two of human DNA fighting to make itself heard.

    • Todd20036

      The problem isn’t the porn, it’s that he looked at it at work, and after being so anti porn and pro religious, it’s just glaring hypocrisy

  • teeveedub

    Internet porn is probably the least pervy thing I would expect from Ted Crooz.

  • paganguy

    Suuuuure it was.

  • Dreaming Vertebrate

    In college, Ted Cruz was a master deBATER.

  • -M-

    You realize Ted that your account has to view a tweet in order to “like” it?

  • The idea of even kissing that repellant being curdles my entire being. The idea of having sex with him is horrifying. I can’t believe anyone woman would have willing chose him to be her husband….shudder.

  • Gene Perry

    And the dog ate my homework …

  • Joe

    Is lying or masterbateing a bigger sin?
    Guess it’s in gods hands now.
    So to speak.

  • coram nobis

    Can we coin a verb and call it “cruzing”?

  • Ernest Endevor

    “Thy rod and thy staff…”

  • justme

    The same pledge olGW said about Bin Laden..
    “Won’t stop until he’s caught”

    Ain’t that right ther Teddie..

  • JCF

    β€œWe’re dealing with it internally”

    Use plenty of lube! ;-X

  • bambinoitaliano
  • Jeff Breeze

    Too early to call him Whackin Ted?

  • Talking about disciplining the staffer is conjuring whole new porn scenarios.

  • MassageBear

    Insert joke below:

  • MassageBear
  • Dunkerblinker

    Eww Yuck …I just for a fleeting nanosecond imagined Cruz whacking to porn…. Vomit now!!

  • Steven B
  • Cuberly
  • white trash religious scum

    CRUZ>???? hahahahahahahahahahahha,,,, I like how so many trash rightwingers are falling! now charles payne is added to fecal bag eric bolling and loser bill O reilly!!! who is next???

  • PRW
  • gothambear

    of all of the shit going on in the world politically and with natural disasters this is such not a story I remotely care about – shouldn’t be given 2 seconds of press

  • Grumpy Old Man

    Grayson made a cute tweet:

    β€œ Wow, and here I thought the only thing @tedcruz could get off to was
    stealing health care from poor people. Color me shocked,” tweeted
    Grayson,