OOPS: Ted Cruz “Likes” Porn Clip On Twitter

Newsweek reports:

The excuses are almost inevitable, and predictable: The account was hacked, possibly by those pesky Russians. Or some rogue intern got hold of the social media, a secret Democrat intent on sabotage. Whatever the case, it is all but certain that Ted Cruz, the conservative Republican who serves as the junior Senator from Texas, will deny having “liked” a pornographic clip on Twitter.

The facts are as follows: On Monday evening, the account belonging to Cruz “liked” a video clip posted by @SexuallPosts, an account whose sole purpose is disseminating pornographic videos. That clip, 2 minutes and 20 seconds in length, has a woman walking into what appears to be her house. There, she discovers a couple having sexual intercourse. She proceeds to watch them, to her own evident pleasure.

The first reaction below is from Cruz’s college roommate.

  • Mark NΓ©e Fuzz

    No! No! No! I don’t ever want to think about Ted Cruz with pants around his ankles and pud in hand.

    • Treant

      It was a VIRUS and his pants totally got caught and pulled down a bit. A VIRUS. He was SCARED.

      • Beagle

        First I’ve heard that Ted Cruz is a virus. Although that would explain a few things.

    • geoffalnutt

      Pudlet.

    • Uncle Mark

      Get that such nauseating thoughts right out of your head. I have always imagined that Cruz is as sexually gifted as a Ken doll…where the genitals are concerned. It would explain his voice and his general asshole-ishness, due to sexual frustration & futility.

    • CanuckDon

      Not in a box.
      Not with a fox.
      Not in a house.
      Not with a mouse.
      Don’t think about it here or there.
      Don’t think about it anywhere.
      Don’t think about Ted Cruz and hand
      I do not like it…retching I am.

      • Uncle Mark

        So THAT’S what Cruz means by “filibustering.”

        • CanuckDon

          Fella-bustering.

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        • Phil2u

          He thinks it’s ” feel a bust ‘a-ring”

    • Ginger Snap

      Up vote for using pud. I haven’t heard that word since I was living under my parents roof and my brothers used it to describe everyone ” you pud whacker, you pud, shut up you pud, pud head, etc” lol made my day.

  • HomerTh

    Not in front of my presidential candidate!

    • Mark NΓ©e Fuzz

      I hope Heidi wasn’t eating a salad.

      • dcurlee

        He might have learned a few things like how to toss her salad

      • Robincho

        Brilliant! Obscure, but brilliant…

  • Leo
  • Ernest Endevor

    I imagine him smelling like the rind of that piece of parmesan you bought on sale couple months ago and you’ve grated almost everything off it and the plastic wrap that barely covers it feels like grease and you keep thinking you must throw it out but it’s fallen behind the jar of red miso you really are never going to use.

    And I felt I should share.

    • BJORN RAGNVALDR

      You’re over thinking it, back away slowly….

    • Menergy

      perfectly written! (yes, I think I’ve found those in my own fridge door…)

    • Hue-Man

      Dig it out and add to your next batch of minestrone soup. (Remember to throw away the plastic wrap.)

      • Ernest Endevor

        But the wrap is where the goodness is.

  • aar9n

    It’s was
    A. Homosexuals fault
    B. Sluty/bossy women’s fault
    3. Satan’s fault
    iv. Liberals fault
    5. All of the above, cuz I’m the party of personal responsibility!

  • shellback
    • Rambie

      Thank the mighty pasta deity that I haven’t had breakfast yet.

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  • Treant

    Lordy. And it isn’t even good porn. This is the problem with repressed people, they can be turned on when the dryer starts making a squeaking noise they think faintly sounds like an aroused woman.

    They’re wrong, of course, but they’ve never heard an aroused woman.

    • Menergy

      or when the washing machine gets off-balance in spin cycle – and knocks and bangs quickly as it spins the tub……:) Oh yeah, baby!!!

      • Librarykid

        Well, if you are leaning the front of your body against the front of the machine, there might be possibilities.

    • JCF

      I love the emoji dirty-parts blockers! “LOL” indeed…

      • Treant

        Do they have a “bored face” emoji? ‘Cause, like I said, that porn sucks.

  • Gigi

    What I find most surprising is that Cruz actually “liked” something.

  • Dramphooey
  • geoffalnutt

    It was prOn actually, so it doesn’t count.

  • Karl Dubhe

    So, there is something nastier than the thought that Trump is still president.

    I’d say “good morning”, but not after this story…

  • barrixines

    I presume that’s his O face in the top photo.

    • Treant

      It certainly resembles my Ew! face.

      • barrixines

        I feel a bit sorry for him. After all he is the only person in the world who has to touch Ted Cruz’s cock on a daily basis. Imagine if you had to do it.

    • clay

      I seriously doubt Cruz has the sexual skill to come hands-free.

  • Rex

    I just feel itchy all over now.

    • dcurlee

      And there aren’t enough loofahs and lie soap to get rid of it

  • Ninja0980

    Doesn’t this mean he’s a heathen who will burn in hell now?

  • netxtown

    yuck! just the thought of a ted cruz hanky baby…….mutant tadpoles…..yuck.
    i’m gonna need therapy….

    • Cackalaquiano

      Upvoted for “mutant tadpoles”

  • BeaverTales

    I think we need more info about the clip he liked…

    I would “like” any clip showing Trump getting peed on by a Russian whore. Bring it on!

  • justme

    So Teddie is taking matters into his own hands..

    • Talisman

      It’s unlikely Heidi’s helping out.

  • worstcultever

    I just want this awful person to go away. I want to never hear of him or see his repulsive mug ever again. God I just want all these awful repukes to just go the fuck away.

  • Dot Beech

    It is God’s will that Ted Cruz be exposed!

    Well, no, not actually Ted exposed. Not even a vengeful God wants that. Just keep that covered. I mean it’s God’s will that Ted’s Twitter viewing be exposed.

    All we have to wait for now is for him to swept off to the fires of Hell. Where he belongs.

  • Texndoc

    https://twitter.com/Paraleea/status/907474672651923456

    This was my favorite Tweet last night. Hope it works, not a usual Twitter retweeter. ETA: click the link

  • Rex

    I guess we all have different ways of remembering 9/11.

  • Rex

    From the man who wanted to make masturbation illegal.

  • JoeMyGod
  • OdieDenCO

    it is way too early in the AM for the visual of cruz naked and aroused. I’m feeling queasy.

    • Robincho

      JMG — it’s not for the squeamish…

  • Harveyrabbit
  • Tawreos

    It is so odd to see Ted Cruz mentioned over something that isn’t hateful or full of shit.

  • Blake Mason

    you dirty boy…

    • Halou

      His favorite position is missionary.

  • Bluto
  • Michael R
  • Ken M

    Well, I “was going to” have breakfast. Key word, was.

  • dcurlee

    I’m sure Hillary or Obama hacked his acct

    • DaddyRay

      Thanks Obama

  • JustDucky
  • Ken M

    Imagine the “fun” that would have come around if Twitter existed when Bill Clinton was in office. : ) https://www.360nobs.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/blue-dress.jpg

  • Halou

    O/T. Do you suppose Tarzan was a virgin before he met Jane?

    • Silver Badger

      No

    • grada3784

      He might have been, except for that Cheetah.

    • edrex

      not according to my childhood fantasies of johnny weissmuller.

  • Christopher
  • Droz

    YES! Craig is back! He is the best!

  • liondon#iamnotatraitor

    I’d actually hate him less if he just said…yeah I watched it.

  • IAMBOWLINGGREEN

    Ted Cruz : ‘I was praying to Jesus and my hand slipped accidentally. But I thank the American people for drawing attention to this grave sin. I recommend the anti- masturbation cross for everyone but me.’

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2bfc22bb8d43bbfc7f6908342df39e35e4dd7666e437e29c0c11cf81aa222f82.jpg

    • grada3784

      Save them from masturbation by teaching them about bondage.

      Yeah, baby!!!!

    • Canadian Observer

      ROTFLMAO – am I the only one who checked to see if the URL was real?

      [ETA: I am soooo leaving that in my browser history]

  • He hacked excuse didn’t work for Eliot Spitzer and it ain’t going to work for you either “Lyin’ Ted”!

    Also, Twitter is for news; Tumblr is for porn. I thought everyone knew that!

    • clay

      “Things change.”

    • Matt G, Rochester

      Not any more, Verizon is ruinning Tumblr for porn, ehr, so I hear. 😊

  • Clive Johnson

    Which Bible verse
    provides the curse
    against this?

    Liberals scoff and say it’s folklore,
    but I say it’s the truth…

    …look at these hot youths.

    Just a twitch of the finger,
    the free one, to like,

    β€”this Texan’s judgement cloudy,
    suddenly -Howdy!

  • Yes, I know the ick factor of Ted Cruz looking at porn, but it’s still better than stumbling across a gif of a plane full of people hitting an office building also full of people so we “never forget.” We thank loads motherfuckers. I remember every time a plane flies overhead. I’d give you all my money if I could forget. I don’t need to watch video of a mass murder to relive watching something on tv and having bad feels for a few days 16 years ago. Some of us had a much more traumatic experience that day and the months after and don’t need your fucking help. Also, I want to punch some people in the face.

  • clay

    Angry intern says Heidi is the cuck and she likes it?
    Teddy secretly (not so much anymore) dreams of having more than one Heidi?
    Teddy secretly (not so much anymore) dreams of Heidi being turned on by his cheating (With 5 Secret Mistresses! read the National Enquirer!)?
    Teddy secretly (not so much anymore) dreams of Heidi being turned on?

  • 5moreminutes*imtired

    Uh oh. Fundie Jesus is going to be pissed…

  • IAMBOWLINGGREEN
  • Hank

    I cannot even stand looking at that smug SOBs Face, let alone, think of him doing ANYTHING!!!
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/17c0e0c4be36c59691b56767f588146887ad846ba76542712e7cf4f6d5838978.gif

  • Friday’s_cat

    Carnival Cruz looks like an extra from Goodfellas.

  • Reality.Bites
    • edrex

      were those sitting near cruz’ laptop by any chance?

      • The_Wretched

        Bad Edrex!

        Those rolls were looking yummy.

  • ColdCountry

    If I didn’t know that straight men could really be that stupid, I’d say someone had to be playing a joke on him. Not that I care. At least he’ll probably get recommendations for better porn out of it.

    • robindaybird

      I can assure you, there is no depths that the stupidity of straight men can’t surpass. Bi women get to see the utter ‘height’ of their idiocy.

  • PhallicMetaphor

    Of course this was an accident, we all know ted cruz has no genitalia.

  • JWC

    He isa repulicab A) he lies B) Hes Gotthe big red R and C) who cares

  • zhera

    The scenario I’m betting on:

    Teddy’s twitter handler is also Teddy’s mistress. (Eww.) She’s not happy with Teddy, so she did this as a warning to him: Do what she wants or his wife and the whole world will know about Teddy’s secret life.

  • dcurlee

    Love what Miss Betty Bowers Americas Best Christian wrote. Ted Cruz a Porn Again Christian

  • Stephen Elliot Phillips

    Cruz is trying to up his bad boy “women are just sexual possessions to use and regulate” image.
    He saw how treating women as sexual objects got trump the white house. And trump didnt lose a single evangelical in the process.

    Looker room politics

  • whothere

    He’s a Porn Again Christian.

  • CB

    What about saying, ” Sure, I watch porn. Like most of America.” Of course, it’s harder to strip people’s rights and judge them if you’re just a normal guy with occasional horny impulses. Harder to be holier than though when you’re just flat out normal.

  • ultragreen

    Now I will have to flush the pollution from my mind after viewing some of these comments. Thanks, guys.