iFAIL: Apple’s New Facial Recognition Thingy Doesn’t Recognize Face Of Dude Giving Launch Demo [VIDEO]

CNBC reports:

During Apple’s demo on stage of the iPhone X’s Face ID, which is supposed to let a user unlock the phone by looking at it, the feature failed. Oops. The new Face ID feature is supposed to be more accurate and secure than Touch ID, which currently lets iPhone users unlock their devices with a fingerprint.

But what happens when it fails? Well, you’ll need to enter your passcode instead. Apple talked a bit about how there are plenty of new features built into the iPhone that should allow this to work in all situations, even in the dark. Just apparently not on stage in front of a huge audience.

Privacy advocates have a huge problem with the facial recognition technology. Via Mashable:

“It’s a privacy issue that the camera on the phone will always be on,” MIT’s Jonathan Schwartz told Mashable in a phone interview. He added that it’s a similar privacy risk posed by devices like the Amazon Echo. That’s primarily because if you don’t need to activate the gadget before it captures data.

The device, instead, will record all kinds of things that you don’t intend it to by default. Which, um, could get you in trouble. And when it comes to a smartphone or the next iPhone, remember, there’s the added wrinkle of it always being on you β€” at least an Amazon Echo is restricted to your home.

Even putting resting unlock aside, however, Schwartz made it clear that his organization has numerous concerns with biometrics in general: everything from weak 5th Amendment protections (cops can force you to unlock your phone with a thumbprint), to biometrics being trivial to fake.

But it’s facial recognition in particular that has him particularly worried. “It raises unique issues of privacy,” said Schwartz. “Much more so than any other biometric.”

There’s much more at the second link above that’s worth your time if you are considering the iPhone X.

  • Lazycrockett

    Never been much of an apple fan.

  • Nic Peterson

    Well the facial recognition thing may have it’s shortcomings but look at how Siri has changed our lives.

    • safari

      Yeah. I now get to call people I didn’t intend to and learn about restaurants in coastal cities (I’m int he midwest) since she doesn’t understand a word that I say.

      • Nic Peterson

        See! Siri changed your life.

    • AC

      snort

    • JustDucky
    • NZArtist

      Hey, it has! I can tell Siri: “Timer, one hour and forty minutes” and it does it, rather than unlocking the phone, finding the clock app, using those horrible spinning number selectors… It makes getting all my laundry done much easier. A mere $1000 for a kitchen timer is a bargain!

      • Nic Peterson

        I have some friends that talk to their fruit watches as if they were kitchen timers. Sometimes it even works.

        I may have to shake my watch regularly to make sure it keeps going but I’ve never had to say a word to it. Color me old fashioned. Or just make me one.

    • Furface

      Interesting choice; ‘changed’ versus ‘improved’. Perhaps I am just an old Luddite.

      • Nic Peterson

        Or maybe you can read between the lines. I bet you’re also fluent in ‘look back’ and ‘side eye’. Kids these days don’t know what they are missing.

  • glass

    This technology is discriminatory against drag queens and transgender individuals in transition.

    • barrixines

      This technology is discriminatory against us old geezers who have faces that take several hours to wake up in the morning.

    • -M-

      Doesn’t sound like it from the description. Isn’t supposed to be bothered by hair cuts or glasses, and adapts to gradual changes in appearance. I suppose heavy drag make up might require storing a second face code.

  • Joe

    I’m an iOS (and Android) dev. IMO it didn’t fail so much as the phone had been rebooted and didn’t have the auth token anymore. It’s normal for the phone to require a passcode after a reset or timeout.

    • metrored

      I thought the same thing. It’s still bad optics though.

      • Joe

        Oh for sure. But hardly the first tech demo fail 😊

        • David L. Caster

          The face recognition was demonstrated again, in fact multiple times, in the same presentation and it worked just fine.

    • Strepsi

      Looking at the photo, he should have just entered in a photo of Ted Danson and one of Jay Leno and let the phone figure it out.

  • Sam_Handwich

    omg, i had to stop watching that product rollout this afternoon; it was worse than a church service

  • bkmn
  • Nic Peterson

    Maybe the make up team used too much foundation ?

  • Tulle Christensen

    Can I use a picture of someones face to unlock it?

    O/T yay Irma gone and electric on….hope everyone else is ok

    • NZArtist

      No because they use a 3D scanning camera as well specifically to avoid that.

  • Love everything Apple.

  • safari

    Always on is creepy.

  • MT YVR

    I was watching at the time and laughed. But this makes it sound like “oh my god, things came to a halt and went wrong and…”

    It was a demo. And it was like, what, five seconds to swap over to a new phone (already laid out) to get in right off the bat. This isn’t about day to day use, it’s about demo of a demo product.

    I work in IT and I can tell you even with only one person around if I start with “ok, let me show you” there is almost ALWAYS a momentary “oh, that’s not what.. one sec”. It was a tick in time in a large demo. Jesus wept, this is how we report a blip as a total failure of a product when it didn’t?

    And people wonder why “fake news” is a convincing thing. Even telling those stories that are innocuous and they have to be lined up to be sensational.

    • NZArtist

      Yeah, I know. I recently had to demo a product. Before leaving I made sure all the laptops were working, and they were all able to use my phone as a WiFi hotspot. I checked and double-checked everything. Then I got to the demo, set up all the laptops… and realized I’d left my phone at home. No problems – the site had a public WiFi…. which went down a few minutes into the demo. No problem, someone else had a phone… which only one of the laptops could connect to…. So in the end I just had to give up.
      It happens. As you say, things generally start going downhill badly just after the “Today I’m going to demonstrate…”

      • MT YVR

        One of my jobs is to video presentations.

        Trust me. I know. I’ve been doing this shit for 15 years now and despite doing it pretty much weekly at this point (I did the math, at approximately 150 talks a year done it comes out to over 2000 talks I’ve attended and filmed) and STILL. Shit I do in my sleep? I know works?

        Fucks itself royally, staring me dead in the eyes as it humps itself infront of my coworkers.

        • NZArtist

          I like that description. πŸ™‚

          • MT YVR

            It’s TRUE though. That day you know shit is just looking at you going “ooooh, yeeeeeah, let me just do this for you REAL bad in front of EVERYONE… you like when I do this?”

            I fuckin’ loathe technology some days. And am convinced it’s sentient.

            But. Husband and I are off next Wednesday to Europe for three weeks and all this stuff is about to *poof* for a while so. I can laugh.

            Still drinking. But I can laugh.

          • NZArtist

            Have a fun Europe.

          • MT YVR

            We will. We’re going back to the site of my coming out. Dublin (as well as London and Amsterdam). Lot’s have changed since that trip in 94. So this should be fun.

            As long as they still have Irish men, I’m good. πŸ˜‰ Though knowing them and their “turn left at the new church” when the church is 300 years old? I’m not too too worried about change. πŸ˜›

          • Steve Teeter

            I got a good one along those lines. I was a new resident of New Orleans, trying to find my way around (hard!), and asked someone for directions. He started, “Well, you remember where the old toy factory used to be?”

            Big help.

          • vorpal 😼

            LOL my MSc / PhD computer science supervisor, despite only being about 50 years old, still uses felt-marker transparencies for all her presentations because she cannot be fucked to deal with the “conveniences” of technology.

      • vorpal 😼

        PowerPoint.

        One of my MSc Comp Sci classes (Parallel / Distributed Computing) idiotically required us to make our class project presentations in PowerPoint despite the fact that many of us, in grad school, would have preferred Beamer via LaTeX.

        My presentation was on parallel algorithms solving abstract algebra problems, which of course required all kinds of math symbols. I made the damned presentation and tested it on a Mac and on two separate Windows computers running 2000 and XP with success, and still, when I got to the podium and copied over my presentation, on that computer, the blackboard R, Q, and C and the set theory symbols were transformed into things like a clock, a black square, etc. that required me to go 10 minutes over my allotted presentation time to carefully explain each slide.

        I fucking, fucking, fucking hate Microsoft.

    • Do Something Nice

      It is a demo at a product launch. This is not supposed to happen.

      • NZArtist

        That is *always* when it happens. It happens to every tech company.

      • NZArtist

        Just google “tech product launch fails”
        You’ll get ‘About 3,270,000 results’

      • MT YVR

        True. But there is a distinction between “it failed” and “it failed on one phone but worked on the next”. This article makes it seem like it’s an on/off state for the tech. Either it works perfectly 100% of the time or it doesn’t work at all. There’s a lot of ground between those points and they proved it.

        Admittedly, a demo of something at this level? One would hope wouldn’t have that level of slip ups. BUT. From what I saw it didn’t “not work”. The phone wasn’t borked, the lock wasn’t broken, the facial rec didn’t not work.

        An iPhone when left long enough – aka every morning I deal with this – will require a numeric code be typed in to verify the TouchID. The same process looks like it happened there. Which technically means it didn’t fuck up. It’s performing exactly as expected. It’d probably been rebooted or similar so it considered it a “starting first time” protocol which is to do that.

        Now if it didn’t do anything or failed to recognize him or froze? Yeah. I’d say it’s a full bork and they need to be worried. This? Not so much.

        • vorpal 😼

          This is why I at least publicly claim to wait until the third generation of any new technology to buy a product.

          Of course, this is pretty much a lie when it comes to Nintendo products for me, as I’ve bought the 3DS and Wii U on launch day in both cases, and got a Wii and a Switch (which cries in a drawer only having been used for about three hours total) within weeks of launch, but in most cases, I haven’t regretted it thus far. If I had to pick my favourite handheld gaming device that saw the most attention and was the most fun between the 3DS and my penis, the 3DS would win hands down.

    • Rambie

      I too work in IT and I’ve had my share of demos to Do/Run/Manage that have glitched. I can totally understand that.

      My only beef, and it’s not really all Apple’s fault, is all the breathless tech press falling all over themselves about how features in the iPhone X are “new” and amazing when most of them aren’t; AMOLED screen, wireless charge (QI), tap to awaken, wave/swipe actions, etc. Have been on other phones for years.

      iPhones are good, don’t get me wrong.

      • MT YVR

        Oh, that’s a whole ooooother comment thread. Even if I loathed Apple I’d put the above comment. It didn’t fail, it just didn’t work smoothly at that moment. I’ve ranted about that.

        Watching the feed? I did it because we have about 50% Apple products for our staff. I know this shit comes out and people are all over it. “I want a new phone, mommy!” kind of shit.

        So I decided to watch.

        Good boogily moogily. They were surreal. I… kinda wanted them in white (with LED strips glowing) robes. It was juuuust this side of sinister.

        And stupid.

        • Rambie

          Yeah, we have guys here on iPhones and will have the C-levels all a Ga-Ga over ordering the X ASAP.

          I’ve been in tech for… well, more years than I want to admit. So I have no real loyalty to either Mac/PC or IOS/Android.

          I did totally dislike Windows Phone, so I’m glad it’s dead but I do miss Blackberry.

          • MT YVR

            20 years for me. Normally that’s fine but once in a while it hits you. And you remember why you drink. Or that’s just me.

            I’m the same. I don’t care enough about either to save a brand from a firestorm. Whatever. Just work and have a happy worker at the station and I’m good.

            The Windows Phone was horrible, though. Vista for phones!

            (ahem) Ok, one shot across their bow… whatever. πŸ˜›

          • Rambie

            Nearing 30 years for me you young-un. πŸ˜‰

          • Dave F.

            A little over 30 for me. Started in college writing code for the university’s payroll department.

          • Phillip in L.A.

            In my first computer class in 1974, we learned FORTRAN and had to bubble in our programs, one line only to each IBM punch-card. Then, you had to send in the whole batch of 20-30 punch-cards to the mainframe, which would only run our (extremely) low-priority programs late at night on the weekends. Turn-around time: 3-7 days. Then we got our print-outs, showing all the errors we had made: in bubbling, or coding, or whatever. So, then you had to fix the problems and resubmit the whole batch, sometimes MANY times. These programs were about as “sophisticated” as “Sieve of Eratosthenes” and could take weeks to get them to even run.

            One other detail I just recalled: the teacher (Mr H——-) seemed queer as a three-dollar bill–probably why I took the damn class in the first place! {-)

          • vorpal 😼

            LOL my first computer was a C64 (with that delightful tape drive that took about 30 minutes to save / load even the 10 PRINT “HI” 20 GOTO 10 program), but I have had some delightful CS teachers in university all the same.

            One was an extremely unattractive Mr. Byron W…-B… that looked like a bad 70s porn star and wore to class every day an enormous bull-shaped belt buckle that made it impossible not to be visually fixated on his crotch for most of the lesson. I am convinced that that’s the only way his crotch could ever hope to get a modicum of attention.

          • Phillip in L.A.

            +10 modicum

          • MT YVR

            Basic and this new fangled language that had just been released (our highschool was the first and eventually I think only to use it) called Turing. Which was a step between basic and Pascal. I remember the first OS screens and being flipped out by them. πŸ˜‰

            20 years in the industry doesn’t mean I didn’t do things before then. This is the job I got by accident. Hell, the first thing they had me do was hand code their webpages prior to images. THAT was fun. (twitch) Gods I hated IE. (spit)

          • Rambie

            My first was BASIC on an few Apple ][ computers the school got because no other schools in the district knew what to do with them. Lucky the school’s 5th grade teacher was a techie at heard and talked the principle into making the district first computer lab at a elementary.

            Then no computer classes again until junior year of High School where it was Pascal with a teacher that hated to teach.

          • Phillip in L.A.

            Yay, Apple II! Learned BASIC on one of those, too, a few years later

          • Dick B

            Sorry – my Windows 950XL has been doing for a couple of years what Apple just discovered. It’s a great phone – especially the camera. I’d say that I’d do without a phone if I had to switch – but that’s not really true. Windows Phone is great. I’m waiting for the Surface phone. I hope I’m not waiting for nothing. And I’ve got an Alcatel IdolS waiting in the wings should I happen to destroy my 950XL.

          • vorpal 😼

            Deleted. Durrrp vorpal. Read comments correctly. And don’t drink first. =slaps self, and seems to enjoy it=

    • TheManicMechanic

      The big difference here is Apple, and their userbase, make it a very big point, over and over, that their products “just work.” Windows sucks, Android blows, Roku has nothing on Apple TV, etc.. A failure during one of Apple’s new product launches, because of that, is a very big deal. I know more than most that things can go tits up while all eyes are on you. I have to bite my tongue when friends mention that their Apple device is acting up or totally on the fritz and they say a trip to the Apple Store is part of the day’s agenda. I tend not to bite my tongue when some of those individuals make it a regular activity to complain about non-Apple devices, but stopping short of hurting feelings because important files or work is toast.

      • vorpal 😼

        (Edited.)
        Agreed. Windows DOES suck, as evidenced by the fact that:

        1. Microsoft hasn’t learned how to count (no other company has tried to order things as 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 8, and 10);

        2. Every other version of Windows has completely sucked ass; and

        3. Microsoft stubbornly tries to manufacture an OS that can be used both on desktops / laptops and on touch-screen devices while not being very successful on either.

        At least Apple and Google (via Android) have managed to take the power and stability of a UNIX / Linux based OS and made them actually pleasant and simple to use.

        Also, as a computer programmer, friends and family using Apple products have almost never had to call me up crying, “Help! My computer is broken!” which is an anthem I have heard all-too-often from those using Windows. Ugh.

        • TheManicMechanic

          First off those facts are yours. To others, they are opinions. πŸ˜‰

          Apple’s biggest plus, which is also its biggest minus, is that they manufacture both the hardware and software that make up their various devices. They can tightly integrate the two, usually ensuring a trouble-free experience. However, it’s in Apple’s and their shareholder’s best interest that both the hardware and software eventually become obsolete and unsupported (which does not mean unusable). Most modern day Apple desktops, laptops and workstations are limited, if not locked out of being able to upgrade components, carrying on a long tradition of making user upgrades after the sale either more expensive if not impossible.

          Microsoft makes their OS available for countless third party machines, only recently getting into their own hardware manufacture. Lots of choices, but this also comes with caveats. It’s up to those hardware manufacturers to develop their own drivers for various hardware bits, and this increases complexity and chances for trouble. Most of the time, things work well. Since MS is not beholden to any particular hardware except the small fraction they make, their OS gets aimed toward working with as many as possible configurations and ages of equipment. A ten year old PC can and does run Windows 10 quite nicely (I have a couple such machines). These old machines were upgraded using slightly less obsolete components (all of them are workstation class, Xeon machines) for a tiny fraction of what those parts cost new, and can keep up with modern hardware. What the PC world has over Apple is a huge amount of internally installable hardware, especially esoteric commercial/industrial/scientific-related fields (what I mainly do for a living) If Apple compatible hardware can be found in this realm, it’s almost always more expensive, is external, and not able to be integrated.

          That finally drove me away from the Apple sphere was their outright refusal to build a tablet style computer in the Mac realm, instead using the far more limited phone OS and hardware. The tablet and touch features of Win 10 are very good, where it gets dicey is when operating legacy or other software that doesn’t take advantage of the best the OS has to offer. It still works, but can be a bit inconsistent. I have test equipment that is based on Windows 2000, but unfortunately can’t be upgraded because the manufacturer of the equipment no longer supports them (they are over 20 years old now), yet still quite usable. Again, here is hardware obsolescence coming into play. Considering the things cost over $50K new, it’s not going to be scrapped like a five year old phone. Interestingly, the manufacturer used touch screens as well as the myriad front panel knobs and switches to make operation easier. The touch abilities on this 20 year old hardware are pretty much the same as today’s tablets and touchscreens, albeit using old resistive, non-multitouch screens. The instrument operational screens are set up to best use the touch features, but it even extended to the OS and third party programs. Windows is a very adaptable OS, Apple tends to not be as much, often in order to maintain separation between phone and desktop OSes.

          Microsoft’s naming scheme changed as the computer industry did. The OS is the product here, not the hardware with underlying software. Big deal.

          I’d say MS has been pretty successful with the same OS being used in tablets and desktops, often blurring the lines between the two. Apple remains a niche product in desktops and do well in the tablet space. Servers and industrial applications have no viable Apple products. And their steadfast refusal to incorporate touch in the Mac space will keep them from seeing any real growth or innovation in those spaces and forever remain a consumer player, with short product life cycles and added expense that would never fly in commercial/industrial/government spaces.

          • vorpal 😼

            Ha – touchΓ©! My “facts” were a mix of facts and personal opinions that I should have separated out.

            I think your points on Apple are mostly very fair… and although Apple products are largely not upgradeable, at least until recently, they’ve been well built and maintained a pretty impressive resale value. For example, my first Apple computer – a Bondi Blue iMac that I bought when the OS X Public Beta came out because I was tired of struggling through Linux sysadm and found it imcomprehensible that someone had finally made a pretty, user-friendly UNIX – I purchased off eBay for around $500 and actually sold a year later on eBay for $650 when I decided to upgrade to a better machine.

            Over the last few years, though, I think the durability of Apple products has largely declined. Also, while I like Tim Cook for many reasons, I think Apple’s innovation declined substantially with Steve Jobs no longer at the helm. That being said, as a programmer who wants a UNIX-based machine and who still doesn’t think Linux has ever quite made it to the point that it doesn’t have some serious hassles (which I no longer feel I have the patience to deal with at the age of 39), for me, it is the best choice, and also the choice of all but a couple of the programmers at my organization.

            As you say, Apple has also fallen into a very bad habit of obsoleting hardware after an incredibly short period of time, so new OS upgrades will refuse to install on computers only a few years old, which is kind of shameful.

            I think a lot of the issues with Windows that I have are not directly the fault of Microsoft, but more along the lines of practices that have become common in third-party software that runs on Windows, such as programs or drivers that come bundled with a bunch of unrelated software of questionable value or unclear and possibly malicious intent that you must specifically disable meticulously during an install, or that hijack file extension defaults, etc. It makes overall for an annoying user experience.

            Also agreed that the decoupling of hardware and OS that you find in the Windows world adds a huge layer of complexity that introduces room for problems that again are often not directly attributable to Microsoft.

            iOS is indeed something of a challenge for those of us who do enjoy being able to readily delve into the underpinnings of the OS since it actively works against you being able to do so and requires workarounds if you want to.

            Also, lately, I’ve found newer versions of iOS a challenge to work with: things that were easy in former versions have suddenly become more difficult to the point of being frustrating, at least for me. What was once at least a nice, solid user experience has degenerated over time.

            Still not convinced on parts of your last paragraph, though: Windows 8 was initially a disaster, IMO, and really just felt wrong as a desktop OS until MS allowed it to be reverted to a more Windows 7 like experience. I really cannot comment on Windows 10 as I haven’t even knowingly used a computer running it, to be honest. I decided a few years ago that I had had enough of the Windows realm and would stick with Apple unless it got to the point of being too frustrating, at which point I would go back to Linux or FreeBSD.

            I appreciate you sharing your experiences and opinions with me and enjoy being challenged on my views, so thank you sincerely for your reply!

          • TheManicMechanic

            Mind you, I am not an Apple basher, though some of my comments might appear to be, and I am far from a Microsoft apologist or fanboy. I was not a fan of Win 8 at all, it threw out the desktop standard for no apparent reason except to tabletify all the things, and all at once. 8.1 gave some of the previous look and feel back, at that time I got a Surface Pro 3 and liked the form factor a lot, but it still seemed like a 1.0 product in need of some refinement. Win 10 seems to have moved in the right direction, but it still seems hobbled by trying to be all things for all people and applications, more a jack of all trades, master of few at best. I can live with it, and having dealt with Windows as the primary OS in a very specialized industrial setting where few others have or could fit in, I’m kinda stuck with it. Since I build all of my PCs, save for the lappies and tablets, it’s the most versatile choice. I’m meddled in Linux enough to live with that as well, but when it comes to a lot of the things I do with a PC on a regular basis, it’s really the only option. The high end sound cards don’t have proper Linux drivers that do more than basic operations of the card, the same with a lot of high end video cards, because there are so much in the way of proprietary technology that would get exposed in open source environments. Then there are the apps themselves.

            I’ve had limited success in building “Hackintoshes.” because you need to build within a small selection of hardware for compatibility. Of course, upgrading the OS as time goes on is sketchy, as Apple writes in code that breaks the OS on non-Apple hardware, so the machines are mostly curiosities and “because I can” but with even quite a bit more limitations than the genuine article.

            Apple presents its machines as clean, uncluttered and consistent. PCs are a free-for-all mess in the cheap consumer space, burdened with so much third party cruft it’s a wonder you can do anything at all with them given all the nag screens, useless apps, trialware, free offers, advertising and whatnot. A lot of that junk is even the cause of a lot of peoples’ issues with Windows. It’s better to buy business-class machines, or try to find the “Signature” boxes that deliver Windows, and nothing else.

            I’ve had to wait after a Windows update on one of my Microsoft-built tablets broke some simple aspect of the device until a fix came later. You’d think, like Apple, if they make both the hardware and the OS, that their machines would be right the first time. Nope, nobody’s perfect, and those flubs make it real easy to point and laugh. It comes with the territory.

            People ask me what kind of computer or device they should get. If their needs are minimal, and they want ease of use and reliability, I tell them to buy a Mac. All too often, they want cheap, so that puts them squarely in the consumer grade, bloatware-filled Windows boxes. I’ve been recommending refurbed, off-lease business-class machines that are a few years old in some cases. They are sturdier than consumer stuff, have usually led a decent life, come with the OS and little or nothing more, and can be had sometimes for less than the cost of the OS alone. I picked up a few for various uses here. They are not the fastest boxes in the world, but they can handle everyday sort of tasks as good as a new one. If it breaks, it was not a big investment, and parts are cheap.

            My biggest dislike of recent Apple gear is their downright hostile attitude toward DIY repairs and upgrades. A lot of PC manufacturers are also heading in the same direction as well, especially in the laptop and tablet space. People want thin, light and sleek these days, and a lot of those machines are literally glued shut. My original Surface Pro 3 has a cracked screen, and new ones are rather expensive. They are glued to the body of the tablet, like Apple tablets are. To access the innards, you have to go through the screen, and the chances are very good the screen will break if you need to go inside the thing to service it. This kind of tech is inherently throwaway, which goes well against my feelings and standards. I live to repair stuff, and when things start costing a good deal of money, like a $1000 phone, it should be repairable. and not only by the manufacturer. Apple takes steps to ensure their devices are not easily repaired by third parties, even with genuine parts, if they are somehow available. Some of this is done under the auspices of “security” (look up home button replacement on later iPhones), but it is done mostly to lock up the repair/refurbishment markets to themselves. Granted, Apple are not the only ones doing this. It’s getting tougher and tougher to do rather simple repairs on certain models of automobiles, for example, often for the same reasons.

            I would be happy with Win10 overall, but the worst for me is the forced updates. Yes, people who lag behind in or never update their PCs are a large part of the problems with Windows, and this helps quite a bit in such scenarios. I upgraded a little PC that is used mainly as a security camera DVR, forgetting about the upgrade thing. Well inevitably there comes a time where Windows does its thing and reboots, leaving me without a DVR for short periods of sometimes inopportune time. Since this is on a wired LAN, I can’t use the usual trick of telling Window it’s using a metered connection to halt the cycle. I can live with it. Worse still is how some of the updates are actually entirely new versions of Windows. This breaks software license keys on installed apps, throws up EUFI warnings that the OS has been modified at boot, etc., leaving me with more work. Why can’t life be simple?

          • vorpal 😼

            Agree with pretty much everything you’ve said here where I have experience.

            The most horrible example of throw-away technology today: consumer entry-level printers, where nobody would bother to repair the flimsy things and it’s often just as expensive (if not more so) to buy ink cartridge replacements for one than it is to simply buy a whole new printer. Talk about tremendous waste.

            Thank goodness that the need for printing is declining substantially to the point that I and most of the people I know only have to print a small number of documents through the year and thus can get away with either not owning a personal printer or getting one where the ink supply will at least last out a few years.

  • Dreaming Vertebrate

    Just a note of commiseration for the poor IPhone that realizes it has been bought by Steve Bannon and has to look at his ugly puss every day.

  • margaretpoa

    Even if it worked, I wouldn’t pay $1,000 for a fucking phone. Especially when Apple is so militantly proprietary that you even have to have a special device just to charge a friggin’ IPod and you have to have ITunes to put music on it. Screw Apple and the horse they rode in on.

    • Lazycrockett

      No USB port, you can kindly fuck off.

    • Tomcat

      Amen.

  • Tomcat

    For a thousand dollars, it needs a blowjob app.

  • Lumpy Gaga

    Even putting resting unlock aside […]

    How? Resting Bitch face?

  • AtticusP
    • perversatile

      Possibly one of the most scathing parodies ever crafted in cartoon form-
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrXBEuG7I3A

      • Phillip in L.A.

        Is that really how you say, “Neat!” in Brazilian Portuguese? πŸ˜‰

        • perversatile

          Matheus diz que nΓ£o.

          • Phillip in L.A.

            legal

            [Ed: It must mean something more like “righteous!”–I notice a lot of errors in the closed-captioning for languages I don’t even know]

    • vorpal 😼

      Adventure Time! The show where the chaotic bedpan of the universe’s runoff comes and is met with imagination to recycle it into something utterly bizarre and absolutely brilliant!

  • Lazycrockett

    OT

    https://twitter.com/alexcguillen/status/907723614568534017

    I usually stay away from modern political bios and such but I’m gonna have to get this.

    • Dreaming Vertebrate

      Good for her! Call out the skunk!

      • AC

        gosh, I hope she just starts letting them all have it

        • JenniferEThompson

          Google pays now $99 to each worker for working on computer.You can also avail this.
          on sunday I got a great new Ford Mustang from having made $9388 this – 5 weeks past . it’s certainly my favWinite-job Ive ever done . I actually started 6 months ago and almost immediately started bringin in more than $99 per-hWin . look at here
          !ar212d:
          ➽➽
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        • JenniferRGonzales

          Boost your earnings on Google & make $99/hour by working from a home computer.
          on tuesday I bought a great Ford when I got my check for $9355 this past five weeks . this is definitely my favourite-job Ive ever done . I began this 3 months ago and pretty much straight away was bringin home over $99, p/h . see this website
          !pz294d:
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    • Jeffrey

      Drag all those assholes, Hill!

  • Del Sam

    I wouldn’t have an apple product if it was given to me.

  • JustDucky

    Hey, it looks like they fixed that facial recognition problem they had a while back!

    http://dailypicksandflicks.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/face-detection-in-iOS-5.1-racist-face-recognition-software-Apple.jpg

    • safari

      That’s really not that abnormal. Color film was notorious for not picking up dark skin well.

      • Tomcat

        Did any of the manufacturers admit it or just embrace it?

        • safari

          Evidently they corrected the problem when furniture manufacturers couldn’t image wood color properly because blacks/browns wouldn’t distinguish.

          • Friday

            Essentially the same problem: film emulsions don’t know if it’s a person or a brown object.

          • perversatile

            That and the Mars Candy Company started raising Hell because their candy bars looked like kaka-doody in print ads.

        • Friday

          Well, they were always trying to improve color fidelity: some of it was kind of a technical issue about the darker browns, just because of the actual physical processes of color film, which’d relate to exposure, (the simple fact that darker skin is darker and browns take a lot of dyes piled up, for slide films of most types,) and issues about exposure latitude if you want to get a good range in negative films in some lighting conditions. You’d really just have to take skin tones into account for a lot of things, (Very pale skin might have exaggerated redness, for instance,) etc etc. I was always fond of the Ektachrome 64P they were making for a number of years in the 80’s. (And actually more or less stopped shooting color for many purposes after they ‘improved’ it at one point, for kind of un-semi-related reasons. Namely they decided to punch up the ‘vivid colors’ and lost that subtlety the stuff had. )

          Anyway, people forget that sometimes it’s about physics and chemistry and engineering.

    • Tomcat

      Works just fine for most republicans.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      OMG, I was looking over the shoulder of the lady in the seat in front of me at the Lady Gaga concert last night at her phone. She had just taken a photo of her husband and herself, and I inadvertently photobombed it, because my face was one of the selected objects.

      Mortified.

      Privacy concerns!

  • JCF

    Somebody’s head’s gonna roll for this…

    [But will the iPhone recognize that head?]

  • Stogiebear

    New iPhone — $1000
    Performance Anxiety — Priceless

  • Skokieguy [Larry]

    This is a feature that would prevent me from ever considering this phone, regardless of price.

  • Do Something Nice

    Maybe it really wasn’t his face.

  • Paula

    That’s not a bug, that’s an undocumented feature.

  • Tomcat

    Is this the same country that was crying how bad the economy was before the election under Obama? Seems everything got better real fast and now people don’t even mind paying a thousand dollars for a phone that will be obsolete in 6 months.

    • safari

      Hey now. I just read that the median income in the US has recovered to 1999-levels.

      • Tomcat

        Good times are here again, yay. I have not had a raise in years, and I am on S/S.

  • Rebecca Gardner

    Too much technology. It’s getting crazy. It’s why I only connect via a VPN. If Joe checks my IP I’m probably in Frankfurt.

    • safari

      Just wait until it is all inside us.

      • Rebecca Gardner

        Yeah no. I’ll never let that happen.

        “Why come you don’t have a tattoo?”

        • OdieDenCO
          • safari

            I’m actually thinking in the future we’ll just rent our bodies out to do labor while our minds or having fun with something else. Why build an android when you can just rent a body?

          • John30013

            Only because artificial bodies would likely be more resilient, wouldn’t come with aches and pains, etc.

          • No joke, I think the best future-tech way of getting in shape in about 10-20 years will be a system putting your mind into a dream/VR-sim state while your body goes and works out.

          • Rebecca Gardner

            Count me in if I look like 7 of 9.

          • John30013

            Before, or after most of the Borg implants were removed? πŸ™‚

        • Treant

          My answer: “Because I pass out around needles.”

          • Rebecca Gardner

            That was a quote from Idiocracy. The scene with the “Doctor.”

          • perversatile

            ”Because I bleed 100 proof”

      • NZArtist

        I occasinonally have some electronic technology inside me. When I haven’t run the batteries down.

        • Rambie

          Oh right, I need to hit Costco on the way home… πŸ˜‰

        • Mark

          pics or it’s not true. πŸ™‚

      • OdieDenCO

        pace makers, cochlear implants, knees, hips and even experimental cornea, it already is inside us.

      • CharlestonDave

        Drudge has been fixated on latest-generation sex robots. He linked to a scare article about how the new sex robots might get hacked and kill you.
        https://www.grahamcluley.com/hacked-sex-robots-british-tabloids/

    • JoeMyGod
      • Rebecca Gardner

        Thank you Joe!

  • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

    Is it possible, for someone else, to view my stored image and know something from it? Potentially, yes.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2017/09/12/researchers-use-facial-recognition-tools-to-predict-sexuality-lgbt-groups-arent-happy/

    • Dreaming Vertebrate

      Are you back from jury service?

      • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

        Just got finished for the day. Joe is always the first thing I check when I get out.

        • Dreaming Vertebrate

          Thank you for your service! Hope the case does not drag out too long.

          • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

            It’s actually cases. It’s a Grand Jury, so here in AZ I’m requested to sit in on multiple cases for four months. In light of the Arpaio issue, I’m considering recusing myself from the remainder of my service.

  • barrixines

    I just did a quick Google search on my face. It recognised me as three black men, Michael Stipe and Stan Lee.

    • Treant

      All at once?

      • barrixines

        Apparently they are the faces that look most like mine.

        Stan Lee is 94.

        • Treant

          True, but Stan Lee looks hella good for 94.

          • robindaybird

            yeah, I keep assuming he’s in his 60s when I see him despite knowing better

          • barrixines

            Whereas I look like a bag of shit for 51 obviously.

    • CharlestonDave

      Undoubtedly you have a demon possession. Follow up with one of those exorcist dudes.

    • Phillip in L.A.

      Sure those aren’t DNA results from semen samples taken from that region?

  • OdieDenCO

    if you want an electronic leash, you might as well have a seeing eye dog on it

  • safari

    O/T: Just add it to the list of today’s horrors
    https://twitter.com/TimAlberta/status/907733452967071750

    • Rambie

      Which horror we talking about; Kid Rock or Little Caesars… Arena?

      • Meh, Little Caesar’s is okay. At least the guy who runs it is charitable.

        “Papa” John? Not so much.

        • Rambie

          I was being sarcastic. But I’d buy a little Caesars pizza where I’d never EVER order from Papa John’s.

    • fuzzybits

      I was wondering about that.

    • swimboy

      And he’s already set the tone for it too by denying the Detroit Free Press (the left-leaning paper in town) press credentials for the concert.

  • justmeeeee

    He’s fuckable, at least.

  • Natty Enquirer

    Wow. And he even tucked his shirt in.

  • Therion

    The mashable article is outdated. It was written months before this phone was announced, and contains inaccurate information.

  • kanehau

    I’m sorry – but that MASHABLE article seems to me to be highly overblown.

    Apple made a point of stating that facial biometric is handled 100% in the phone and no biometric data ever gets sent to a remote server.

    Apple also make a point of saying that false matches on fingerprints are 1/50,000 while false matches on the facial biometric are 1/1,000,000 – but did make an exception of “evil twins”.

    • The_Wretched

      And you trust them as well as thefedgov to never hack it? Have you heard of the fappening?

      • kanehau

        As an apple developer – I’m well aware of how closed the ecosystem is on the devices and how hard it is for the feds to break in. With iOS 11 (which I’ve been in beta on for a few months now) – it is even harder.

        Nothing is impossible to break – but apple goes out of their way to try to make it so.

        • Mark

          I used to be in Cupertino, years ago, and worked with the developers there and when they were in Cambridge MA as well….

        • TJay229

          Address the privacy concerns of law enforcement taking your phone and holding it up to your face and it unlocks?

          • kanehau

            It will not unlock if your eyes are closed or not looking at it.

            So… let’s see them force my eyes open without touching my face and screwing up the biometric signature.

            But yes… you do have a point.

          • TJay229

            Thank you for your answer… But sadly, FOR ME… THAT system is far to flawed for my taste. You can’t keep your eyes closed forever (unless you are dead). I just don’t trust it.

            That’s why I love Android. The pattern and Cerberus.. Three tries it alarms and unrecoverable, plus will wipe the phone.

          • NZArtist

            Think about this for a second…
            Apple’s business model is based on selling you expensive hardware.
            Google (Android) business model is based on stealing and exploiting your personal data.

          • TJay229

            I don’t know about that but, Ok

          • kanehau

            Problem with Android is open system… so many viruses, hacks, etc.

          • TJay229

            Hmm… I last recall the FBI paying to hack into a iPhone… So they are not impervious to being hacked.

            And I have never known anyone with a virus on their phone, never. My phone is encrypted by default plus Cerebus as a backup.. Its guarded as well as Ft. Knox.

  • Cuberly

    Just a heads up if you opted to freeze your reporting options.

    https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/907741120800673792

  • greenmanTN

    I’ve always thought it was ironic that Apple, a company that advertised itself as breaking the control of Big Brother, is the most controlling of software and content ALLOWED on its products, connectivity to other hardware, and frequently presents threats to personal information and privacy.

    https://youtu.be/qIUcNLTsyYo

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    You’ll never convince me that a phone should ever cost $1000…hell, you can’t convince me that $300 is a reasonable price. Sorry, but I don’t need to be so connected with the world that my phone has to have every gimmick, and yes these are gimmicks, under the sun. I’m quite happy with my very easy, very simple android. I can call people. I can text people. I can look shit up on the net. I can play games. I can watch videos. That’s all a I need and my phone didn’t even cost $200. So thanks but no thanks.

    • DonnaLee

      Count me in too. Anyone paying the price for iphones is not right in the head. There is no justification for their exorbitant cost other than people wanting them. I need a phone that is ok with wifi and makes calls and texts.

      • Mikey

        I must be a neanderthal!
        All I need a phone to do is make phone calls. I have a computer for internet, and a computer for games, and I honestly couldn’t be bothered texting people (if you don’t want to talk live with me, then screw you, I’m not going to TYPE a fricken message on a goddamned phone).

        • DonnaLee

          I hate conversations in texts. That is think is total bullshit.

        • NZArtist

          I find txt handy for non-intrusive notes that dont require immediate response. A phone is a very invasive device – if you call someone you’re expecting them to stop whatever it is they’re doing and attend to you immediately. Unless it’s a serious emergency, why would you want to do that to your friends? But dropping a ‘If you’re going past the store can you grab some milk?’ txt to a house-mate is very convenient and non-intrusive.
          For conversation – absolutely face-to-face. Phone as a last resort. Txt for everything else.

          • Mikey

            Sorry, I find texting to be in the same category of social poor taste as making all of your important announcements via FaceBook (I have a number of family members who make ALL of their announcements via FaceBook. So if you don’t have the wherewithal to check FB regularly then you are out of luck and will most definitely miss “planned” events).

            “if you call someone you’re expecting them to stop whatever it is they’re
            doing and attend to you immediately. Unless it’s a serious emergency,
            why would you want to do that to your friends?”

            Really? So in other words, one should never telephone friends or family, because it will always be expecting them to “stop whatever it is they’re doing and attend to you immediately”. I’m sorry, but I think you are VERY wrong on this.

            Also, I live around 100 miles away from most of my family and friends, so “face to face” is not possible.

            I’m very happy when people call to chat, regardless of what I happen to be doing at that particular moment. And if I’m really too busy to talk? “I’m really sorry, but can you call me back in (insert number of) minutes?”

            Communication skills. It’s a basic part of social interactivity.

          • NZArtist

            That’s cool – I respect your opinion. If it works for you and your family, good for you.
            Yes, I almost never phone my friends and family.
            For my friends it’s much more convenient for them if they hear a ‘txt’ tone, when they’re done taking a kneading dough/greasing the car/handling raw chicken/taking a crap/whatever they can look at their phone. If they think it’s important they might call me about it. Or they might txt a reply which I can look at at my leisure.
            Seriously, phoning someone is like walking up to them, shaking them, saying “Hey stop what you’re doing, I’m more important, talk to me right now!”
            Fine for an emergency but a bit infantile for something trivial. I dont have a bluetooth connection in my car so getting a phone call while I’m driving is really annoying. If I get a txt a quick glance will tell me if I need to pull over to deal with it, but most likely I can ignore it until it’s convenient for me.
            I dont have Facebook – I agree that it’s impersonal. At least with a TXT it’s an interaction with a context of shared experience and tailored to an individual.
            TXT’s are enormously convenient for sychronizing several friends for a dinner out. Getting a time/place that suits everyone would mean calling everyone back several times. With a TXT you can offer several (written!) alternatives, when everyone has responded with what works for them you can synch up everyone.
            Giving an address via TXT is awesome – you can share your location and their map app will provide them with direcdtions. No more “Left at the old bard, four miles after asdfouirhfd Rd. (Let me spell that for you. No, with three y’s.) Sorry, I said 2654, not 2564. ….
            Personally I find it adds convenience.
            Actually I use TXT less than I use a group-chat app that all my close friends use as well. Even more convenient for organizing dinner out (12 of us went to a restaurant last night for a birthday dinner – can you imagine the hassle of organizing that by phone?).

          • vorpal 😼

            I enjoy chatting via voice or video with my friends and family, provided that they msg me / text me first asking if it’s okay.

            Being seriously introverted, I don’t like surprise social intrusion, and an unexpected phone call / video request is just a little less intrusive than an unannounced drop-in visit to my house (which is the worst thing you can do in my books). I need to psych myself up a bit before engaging in that level of social interaction.

          • NZArtist

            I completely understand what you mean.
            Although if you do arrive at my house unannounced I’m likely going to be nude when I answer the door (or walk in from the garden). Be warned.
            If you phone or TXT ahead, then I’m *definitely* going to be nude when I answer the door.

          • vorpal 😼

            LOL! Hubby and I have issued a similar warning to our friends and family: if you plan on showing up without a 5-10 minute in-advance text warning us, you are likely going to find us answering the door with no pants on, and I haven’t worn underwear since circa 2007.

            We’ve had a few friends irritatingly break that rule despite repeated warnings, and they are the types of people who will stay and ring the doorbell multiple times even when we pretend we’re not home and don’t answer because we just don’t want to or we’re too high off our asses or whatever else to do so.

            To those people, I have dishonestly said, “I would have come sooner, but hubby had to stop fucking me in the ass and we had to wipe off the lube and find clothes first,” that they never did it again.

          • NZArtist

            πŸ™‚ Good response.
            My christian neighbour doesn’t visit anymore. Oh dear. I *do* keep a dressing-gown on a hook by the door for absolute emergencies. But, well, the door is see-through so you’re going to see me arrive and put on the dressing gown anyway…
            But I dont know what this ‘underwear’ thing you mention is… I haven’t worn underwear since around 1980.

          • vorpal 😼

            Ha! I wish I could say the same, but in 1980 I was only three, and I think at that age, the parents were still wrapping me in diapers without my consent.

          • joeyj1220

            I actually find Facebook helpful for keeping up with the “everydayness” of my family and friends who live far away from me. Folks often complain about Facebook with statements like “Who the hell cares what you had for dinner over the weekend?”… but for me friendship often involves keeping up with the trivial occurrences of my friends and “sharing” (even virtually since I live too far away) with them.

          • vorpal 😼

            I agree fully, with the caveat that if anything is a serious emergency, you shouldn’t be calling me, but an actual professional capable of handling the emergency.

          • NZArtist

            Yeah – I was using ’emergency’ in the time-critical-event, or emotion-critical-event context. I phone the neighbour when his sheep escape and turn up on my lawn, for example.

          • But what if it’s a black cat emergency?

          • vorpal 😼

            πŸ™€πŸ™€πŸ™€
            …I hadn’t even thought of that!

        • vorpal 😼

          Unfortunately, there are so many damned apps and texting mediums now that are cell phone ONLY (idiotic, IMO, but they are popular) that if I want to communicate easily with my friends and family, I need a POS cell phone. I feel all “git off mah lawn” saying that as a nearly 40 year old programmer, but it’s sadly true.

          I hate typing on a cell phone, and would prefer to use an actual keyboard 99% of the time, but that being said, as an introvert, if you call me, don’t expect me to answer unless I’m in the right mindset to do so or am expecting you to come over / show up somewhere.

      • swimboy

        Sometimes a phone is not just a phone. I have had clients call me at 11:00 on a Friday night with a problem. I’m out with friends, but I can find a quiet corner, pull out my phone, and connect to their systems and diagnose the problem without skipping a beat. The client is happy, my night doesn’t get ruined, and I look like a hero. That only has to happen once or twice for it to be worth every penny of $1,000.

        Granted, most 14 year old girls don’t need a phone like this to post to FB and Twitter, but for those of us who can actually use it as a powerful computer that fits in your pocket, it’s worth it without question.

        • Jean-Marc in Canada

          I can understand and agree that you and those in your field could use such a device, but you are not the ones Apple is really trying to sell to and that’s the problem.

          • swimboy

            Is it a problem? I get an amazing pocket computer for a reasonable price, and all the 14 year old girls get their status symbols. Everybody’s happy (and my Apple stock keeps going up too.)

            It’s not like the presence of Apple’s $1,000 phone means that the $199 phones are no longer available, or no longer work. I won’t spend $2.7 million dollars for Mercedes new street-legal F1 car either, but I sure don’t complain that MB trying to sell it is a problem.

        • vorpal 😼

          Couldn’t you do exactly the same thing with a $300 phone, though?

          iOS is so “secured”, IMO, that as a computer programmer, trying to do anything serious in terms of systems / software problem solving with it is pretty much impossible. No direct access to the filesystem and no terminal app unless I fight with the damn thing to get that = serious inconvenience for me.

          • romanhans

            I’m new to iPhones and found the lack of file access bizarre (as well as extortionate prices for “proprietary” cables). When someone sends me a PDF file the phone asks, “Open in iBooks?” and I think, “Why the hell would I want to open it in iBooks?”

            Now I know: because the user can’t browse through the file system and put it where s/he wants.

          • Lane

            Which is somewhat changing in iOS 11.
            Well, actually, it’s changing a lot.

            https://9to5mac.com/2017/07/20/ios-11-how-to-use-the-new-files-app/

          • swimboy

            I don’t need a terminal into the phone, what I use most is VPN and SSH to other computers, and I can do that easily. I will admit that back in the iOS 6 days, the walled garden was a bit constraining, but these days, I have all the tools I need.

            Could I do it on a $300 phone? Sure. Would it be more of a pain in the ass? Probably. Is the extra money worth it for me? Definitely. It’s a tool that I use a *lot*, and tiny inconveniences add up to big pain points when you’re trying to get work done.

          • vorpal 😼

            Yeah, you’re right: ssh would be sufficient for almost everything for me. I guess when I think of ssh, I automatically think of accessing it from terminal and not from an ssh app!

          • swimboy

            I know what you mean. The first time I had to work on a windows machine, I was aghast that I had to download PuTTY, and couldn’t just use ssh from a command line.

          • vorpal 😼

            Same here. When I first started using ssh and writing shell / python / perl scripts and what not, I had already migrated largely to Linux / FreeBSD and thus did everything with the command line and emacs. (I may have masochistic tendencies, but they don’t run deep enough to force myself to learn to use vi – heh.)

            When faced with similar tasks on Windows machines, I was frustrated because unless you go out of your way to install a bunch of applications / packages that make the command line more useful, you’re going to have to rely on doing these things through the UI, which is a complete shift in thinking. I can’t imagine, as a programmer, trying to do most programming without access to a *nix terminal, and on my MacBook, terminal.app is usually one of the first things I launch on a restart.

    • Thinking about a galaxy 4-6 on AT&T’s prepaid plan.

      • AdamTh

        The S6 battery sucks after 1 year, and is not user-replaceable.

        • AdamTh

          Other than that….. Great phone

        • Thanks for info.

      • E.J.

        The galaxy s5 was the last model with user replaceable batteries. It is also waterproof (to a point)

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      Until recently, this is all I needed to meet my telecommunications needs when away from home. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/389ac6e3265a1fd7159a6584654ebade8b2d11919a01c96bfb26346996074187.jpg

      • zhera

        You still have payphones?

        • vorpal 😼

          LOL I don’t actually have a data plan for my phone, because the likelihood that it will be charged AND I will be away from a wifi network is so low that it isn’t worth the cost, and even pay-as-you-go plans here expire (=koff= bullshit =koff=) before I’m able to use a fraction of them up.

          Hubby had dropped me off at the airport pretty much a year ago to the day when I found out that the stupid airline had overbooked my flight and decided that I could wait 24 hours to fly out even though it would mean me missing out on my connecting flights.

          I was delightfully shocked to find out that the airport (which has no wifi access here, paid or free) still had one sad, solitary payphone so I could call him to come back and pick me up.

          • zhera

            Downtown there’s an old phone booth. I have no idea if the phone works or if there’s even a phone inside. It’s there for ‘museum’ purposes, only.

            I don’t know of any other pay phones here.

          • Phillip in L.A.

            Every pay-phone that used to exist around here has been smashed into oblivion–at least the receivers and cords

        • 2guysnamedjoe

          There are still some on the sidewalks of New York, but they’re rapidly being replaced by free internet kiosks. https://www.link.nyc
          Apparently they pay for themselves by gathering marketing data from the people who connect to them (and, rumor has it, from yhe cell phones of passers-by ).

      • O_O

        Uh, judging by those dates, those are silver quarters. I’d never use them to pay for anything. I’d horde them. Same with silver dimes.

    • fuzzybits

      I don’t need it for even half of that.

    • Adam King

      I don’t have one, never have, and I don’t want one. When I introspect and look deep down inside myself for the inclination to own a cell phone, all I see is a gaping empty void of don’t-want limned by a vast miasma of meh.

      • vorpal 😼

        I would agree, but so many awful but popular apps / services have degenerated to cell-phone only now that not owning one has become a hassle more irritating that owning one, unfortunately. πŸ™

    • vorpal 😼

      I bought (three years ago) a 5c as my first ever cell phone, because it was the cheapest iPhone I could find (even though it was still about $500 here in Chile) and I figured as an Apple fan, if I was going to try a cell phone, I may as well get one that would convince me one way or the other if I needed one by going entry level on one that would give me the user interface experience I felt confident would provide me with the info I needed.

      It has become a device that is without battery about 50% of the time and the other 50% of the time, is a glorified IM client / Boggle playing machine.

      Convincing me to pay $1000 for that luxury will never happen.

    • zhera

      For $1000 it better do the dishes and mop the floor. Otherwise it’ll never be an option for me!

      I have issues with the Cult of Apple, and how it promotes extreme consumerism and waste.

      • Jean-Marc in Canada

        The slave labour issue alone should give people pause….but no.

        • vorpal 😼

          Unfortunately, it seems when it comes to electronics, there is little choice BUT to buy slave labour (yay fellow Canadian) generated products :(.

          • Jean-Marc in Canada

            Ah, but my phone was built with slave labour, it was built in Finland.

          • vorpal 😼

            What type of phone do you have? When I next buy a phone (which won’t be for awhile, but will happen), it would be nice to know I was supporting manufacturing that wasn’t exploitative.

          • Jean-Marc in Canada

            Sorry, that should read “wasn’t”

    • Nick
      • vorpal 😼

        LOL hubby has sent this to me – very deservedly – on numerous occasions!

      • Jean-Marc in Canada

        Honey, I hush for no one.

  • CharlestonDave

    Apple stock ended the day down 0.4% after the rollout.

    There are no deliveries in September, so they miss that revenue in 3rd quarter, hurting the balance sheet. But still, the market was up today and Apple did not wow the market.

    • John Ruff

      Good

    • NZArtist

      Cool. That means now is a good time to buy Apple stock. You think people *aren’t* going to give Apple great wodges of cash for their new shiny?

  • Lane

    It didn’t work because he was wearing a new hat.

  • TJay229

    To be a Black man in America is already scary.
    To be a Black man in America driving a car, riding a train or walking down the street and your accosted by a cop who wants to feel “powerful” , he just takes your iPhone out and holds it up to your face and it unlocks???

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a6a6a4bcc7975d8552140c2f4bdbde6b3a9cede98cb7da261026c11c3f48588a.gif

    • Adam King

      “Facial recognition” works a lot worse with non-white people for some MYSTERIOUS INEXPLICABLE reason.

      • NZArtist

        Contrast ratio. There – no longer inexplicable.

      • TJay229

        Whatever πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ

    • Kate

      Tap the lock button repeatedly and the new iOS will enter an emergency mode where it can’t be unlocked by biometrics, only your passcode.

      • TJay229

        And youd have time to do that when..? Remember “Police only shoot Black people..” πŸ€”

  • Scott MB

    This is Apple now. The fan boys will drop to their knees to get the new shiny overpriced peice of Apple crap. Ever since the death of Jobs, Apple has fallen and is even more about money while giving extremely little in new features. They do this because they know their fan boys will gladly pay anything to get it cuz “they’re cool”.

  • bambinoitaliano

    Only in today’s world the tech companies have the audacity to sell you an expensive piece of experimental crap. Ever wonder why there’s always a software updates every few months? Can you imagine buying a house that you get a window here and a door there every few months and the plumbing works downstairs but not for another 6 months for upstairs? How is it state of the art of innovation when it’s never ready?

    • NZArtist

      You’ve never built a new house then…
      There are always issues, and you have to get them resolved.
      And sometimes you run out of money during the build and have to move in with an unfinished or unpainted room, which you’ll get around to when you have the cash again (typically around ten years later than you were expecting).

  • Phillip in L.A.

    The ironic thing is that it doesn’t raise any of these issues, if the damn thing don’t work right /s

  • John Ruff

    FUCK Apple!!!

  • Ernest Endevor

    Every time Apple launches anything new, everyone calls it crap, the stock price falls, and all the other manufacturers get out a knockoff pronto. Then in 6 months the NY Times runs articles about how could we have ever lived without whatever new that they criticized mercilessly first.

    • vorpal 😼

      Apple DOES seem to frequently push the market forwards with regards to innovation (UI and hardware) and doing away with features that should be obsolete.

      I remember the screeching when Apple got rid of CD / DVD drives and non-USB ports, for example, and within six months, all other manufacturers largely followed suit and nobody missed them anymore.

      I am having a hell of a time getting used to my new work MacBook with its crappy USB-C only ports and the dongle mess I need in order to use it, but when everything switches to USB-C, I will be glad that Apple shoved things in that direction.

  • TheManicMechanic

    It’s not a bug, it’s a feature! Apple should route its facial recognition app through Facebook. It has an uncanny ability to identify people in photos, even if taken years ago.

    In recent years, Apple, at least to me, never ceases to underwhelm. Well, except for prices.

    • vorpal 😼

      The fact that one of my acquaintances uploaded some 1996 black-and-white tiny yearbook photos of me to facebook and facebook algorithms were able to identify them as me still simultaneously amazes me and creeps me right the fuck out.

      • TheManicMechanic

        I agree. Photos of me before before Zuckerberg was even born are identified as me. The algorithms are creepy, and they point to how easy it is for a machine to pick people out of surveillance video and other sources and identify them in a snap. Facebook undoubtedly feeds that greater beast as a repository of photos with identities attached, ripe for law enforcement and government abuse, I’m sure. Apps like Shazam and Soundhound are remarkably good at discerning music played in a noisy environment and identifying it. These apps collect data on where and what time you heard a particular tune. Of course, this software is an outgrowth of content identifying applications used by the music/movie/television industry to fight so-called infringement. Upload a video of you and your friends dancing at a club to YouTube and you might find the sound stripped off entirely, the video deleted, or, if the video proves to be popular enough, any ad revenue will go the the owners of the music and not to you. It’s very interesting technology, but it does have a dark, authoritarian side.

        • Frommer_Gast

          I would not be too worried, at least at the moment.
          I once uploaded a photo of an orchid I had found during a hike – and facebook not only identified the flower as a face but even suggested three persons whose face it was.
          They took it as a compliment.

          • TheManicMechanic

            Hah!

            Yeah, the recognition tech isn’t infallible, I’ve been misidentified on plenty of occasions, and others have been identified as me. At least the system is constrained by mutual friendships, the list of possible names to apply to faces mostly ends with the photo owner’s list of friends. I can only imagine the mess if the list extended to mutual friends lists, or the friends-of-friends (just one iteration). When I get notified that so-and-so has tagged me in a photo, I’m usually in for some surprises.

          • Bad Tom

            Not only can the recognizer make mistakes, but some people look alike. Fingerprints are more unique than faces.

          • Bad Tom

            This is a flaw of current practical AI classification systems. They are very specialized.

            A face recognizer is trained to sort its inputs into the closest matching face from a database of faces. If what you give it isn’t a face, it doesn’t have a way to tell. It just finds the closest match anyway.

            It would do the same if you played it music or gave it a text article.

            The mathematics of why is fairly straight-forward. Whatever input you give an AI is reduced to a set of features, which ultimately get expressed in some fashion compatible with linear algebra or neural networks, that is, as arrays of numbers.

            At that level, all inputs look alike. An image doesn’t look any different than a text file.

            What you need is a meta-system that understands the source of the inputs so that they are routed to the appropriate processing system. Then the classifier understands the sensory type at the start.

            The brain does this in a simple fashion: by wiring. The nerves from your eyes go to your vision processing center. The nerves from your ears go to your hearing processing center.

            Under the influence of certain drugs, this cross-domain classifier effect emerges in the human brain. Then it is called synesthesia.

            This fact suggests that base classifiers have no inherent ability to reject unsuitable input; only metaclassifiers can do that.

        • vorpal 😼

          I’ve taken introductory grad-level courses in machine learning and found the subject incredibly fascinating (although not enough to make it my major). I would love to be able to study and understand some of the more sophisticated image and audio processing algorithms. It’s really quite incredible that they can do the things they can do.

          It certainly rekindles hope for the intelligence of humanity, especially when we’re bombarded with how stupid humans can be through the political climate of the alt-right.

          As with anything, yes, these tools can be used for good or for evil, and will invariably end up being used for both.

          • TheManicMechanic

            The pace of science and technology still impresses me, and so many things we have now and take for granted were dreams not that long ago. What angers me is the willful stupidity of so many people, driven by religious and political agendas. I can only imagine how much further we would be if these did not exist. And it seems worse than ever as people use these advancements to actually push their agendas.

          • vorpal 😼

            Could not agree more. I have often compared organized religion to an iron ball shackled around the collective ankle of humanity, forcing us to drag it into modernity and constantly slowing our progress.

          • TheManicMechanic

            I grew up in the space age, with an extreme love of science and technology and have been working in the field for going on 40 years. In the 80s, when space stuff became rather ordinary and workaday, a lot of folks kinda lost interest, it wasn’t the glamorous, dangerous final frontier any more. I still lived for the achievements and cool stuff that would make the news. Despite all that is working against it, there are some amazing things that turn me back into that giddy kid again seeing the first steps on the moon. The Mars rovers and their photos and discoveries. The nearly sci-fi like insertion of the Curiosity rover with the rocket “crane.” The views of Pluto that showed that it is far from the barren space rock we were told it likely was. SpaceX landing a reusable rocket booster on a barge. The Voyager probes so distant from home yet still going beyond their mission life and teaching us still. Cassini going out in a blaze of scientific glory and discovery. But what really hits me in that giddy kid heart is seeing the scientists and engineers at the edge of their seats waiting for the data and pictures and the confirmation of successes and jumping up, screaming and applauding, hugging their colleagues and often crying with joy. Those times these moments were shared on TV or the internet I was right there with them. These things speak to the core of everything I am and believe in, and have worked for.

  • Del Sam

    Pretty much illustrates my opinion on apple stuff..
    https://youtu.be/sjlHnJvXdQs

  • Halou

    Can the phone’s facial recognition be made to accept the Charizard on the shirt I’m wearing?

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    Well golly gee. Nora, Gale and Charlie didn’t mention a word about this on their little program this morning.