TEXAS: Governor Issues Day Of Prayer Proclamation To Thank God For Saving The People He Didn’t Murder

ABC News reports:

The Texas Governor signed a gubernatorial proclamation Thursday at the grounds of what remains of the First Baptist Church in Rockport declaring Sunday, Sept. 3, a Day of Prayer in Texas. “Howdy Texans,” Governor Greg Abbott began, addressing a large crowd of people at the destroyed church.

“As we gather today here at this church, it’s important that we remember that the greatest power that exists is the power of God, and the way that God can touch and move all of our lives. It was God acting though the lives of so many Texans who came to the rescue of other Texans.

“It was the power of God that was able to pull people out of the water and literally save them,” Abbott said. “As a result of that, I think it’s very important that I issue and sign a Texas Gubernatorial Proclamation here today. By the power vested in me as the Governor of the State of Texas, I am declaring this Sunday, Sept. 3, as a Day of Prayer in Texas.”


  • JW Swift

    Ya’ gotta’ love Betty Bowers.

  • AmeriCanadian

    Priceless Betty Bowers quote!

  • bambinoitaliano

    Should have proclaim Stay Away Harvey prayer day last week before the storm hit.

  • kaydenpat

    Speechless. There just aren’t any words.

    • kanehau

      Ramen

  • DaddyRay

    Back from 3 weeks in England, anything interesting happen while I was away?

    • kaydenpat

      Take a seat and brew some tea.

      • DaddyRay

        I am so done with tea for a while

      • Jean-Marc in Canada

        Fuck the tea, grab the rotgut whiskey ’cause this is gonna hurt.

        • DaddyRay

          They sure do like their Gin & Tonic

        • kaydenpat

          It sure is!

    • bambinoitaliano
    • djcoastermark

      Better yet, we want to know what interesting things you happened upon.

    • AtticusP

      Yep.

      Two words: Go back.

      And please take us with you.

      • DaddyRay

        There certainly was no love for Trump over there

        • AtticusP

          I know exactly how they feel…

        • Nowhereman

          I haven’t heard any more talk about his next visit there, and whether he’ll be meeting with the Queen…

          • DaddyRay

            I did get to see the collection of Royal carriages
            I am sure this is the one Trump would demand
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7a3121effca2ff1119f7566d4764c7e5cd1b6d38b9ef2ccb5d68038dbc26f9d2.jpg

          • Jeffrey

            I got to see that one in person on Will and Kate’s wedding day.

          • DaddyRay

            Oh wow

          • Jeffrey

            Correction…maybe I was wrong because I cant find a pic of that one https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3af07bab0201f4a12042adc02814fcec55344e396da5570d9d3bf1ae76a02984.jpg

          • AtticusP
          • Jeffrey

            Yes there were three gold gilt coaches that passed us. We were standing at Buckingham Mews behind the palace. Fun fact, we were standing there the night before the wedding and my husband got a pic of pizza being delivered to Buckingham Palace

          • AmeriCanadian

            He would expect that to be gifted to him.

          • bzrd

            grifted

          • Nowhereman

            I hope that the Queen holds firm! She does NOT need to subject herself to Trump, or let him ride in her carriage!

          • Steve Smith

            I think she’s already planned to have a very bad cold for the Trump visit. Meanwhile her subjects are storing countless thousands of bottles of rancid piss and buying Russian flags in preparation.

          • Nowhereman

            Good Show! Now I almost hope he shows up anyway! Piss is bad enough when it’s fresh.

          • pj

            id like to see him dragged behind it

          • DaddyRay

            I would personally feed the horses buckets of beans

          • Charlie

            that really did make me LOL!!!! Thanks for that!

          • Steverino

            To his accommodations in the Tower of London.

          • AtticusP

            He actually did request that! That’s the Gold State Coach that was built for King George III, Elizabeth II’s great great great great grandfather.

            It supposedly has no suspension, no shocks or struts, and is one of the worst rides that anyone could ever take. But it’s gold, and that’s enough for the asshole in the White House.

          • David L. Caster

            Perfect. Let him ride in it by himself.

          • olandp

            That would be King George III, against whom the colonists rebelled, and created the United States of America.

          • AtticusP

            Right. Those wacky kids!

          • Judas Peckerwood

            He’d look better riding in a nice tumbril.

          • AtticusP

            And it would be the best tumbril. There’s never been another tumbril in history that surpasses the one that Trump will travel in. It will be HUUUUGE!!!

          • Barbaralbeets

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family!!!
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it >>>http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash124TopGreen/GetPay$97/Hour

          • AtticusP

            I think that Her Majesty is hoping to die before that happens…

          • Jeffrey

            ALL of the Majesties, including Madonna, would have to die before that happens

          • ChrisMorley

            It’s his call. We are waiting for him to decide when he wants to risk international humiliation from the massive protests that will accompany his ride in a Queen’s gold coach down The Mall to Buckingham Palace.
            He’s frightened of the inevitable public rejection.

          • Nowhereman

            Well, smart, strong women scare the piss out of him…

          • David Walker

            Perhaps someone should ask Panty Bliss if she’ll meet with 45. You know, just for a chat.

          • Nowhereman

            I just looked her up! She would be perfect!

        • Jeffrey

          I was just there and that is true. Obama is the only President of ours that they have liked in recent memory. I don’t remember them ever mentioning politics int he Clinton era.

    • Nowhereman

      Naw–same ole same ole… (thanks for the chuckle)

    • barrixines

      Did you manage to stop Brexit?

      • DaddyRay

        From what I was reading over there it sounds like it is stalled

    • RaygunsGoZap

      Donald Trump is under house arrest. The coup will not be televised but rather speculated about on Twitter.

    • Bluto
  • Jay Mills

    Long gas lines in Dallas right now. Great planning, Gov. Abbot, and thanks for your #waronTexascities !

    • kaydenpat

      And War on Regulations.

    • Phil2u

      …in Burlington, NC, too! I filled up yesterday at $2.08/gal; it’s $2.38 today and long lines.

  • clay

    Wow. I hope no family has to have a funeral on that day.

    • bambinoitaliano

      Nope the churches just have to kick out the storm refugees in time to pass out the collecting plates. Tis the season to be grifting. Thanks Harvey!

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    Love me some Betty Bowers, she always knows what to say.

  • EdmondWherever
  • justme

    Geez.. I’m sure the Texas govt and it’s elected officials did ALL they could to make sure the residents were put in the least threatening situations…!!!
    /s

  • Randy Left Brooklyn

    Can’t the lord make the lame walk again? If they really believe?

    • DaddyRay

      Maybe the lord could provide shop-vacs

      • Tomcat

        And money could just fall from heaven to them.

  • Michael R

    Why didn’t he pray it away in advance ?

    • bambinoitaliano

      Calling east coast governors!! Please pray in advance before Hurricane Irma comes knocking.

    • AtticusP

      Who knew that the all-knowing and omnipotent God has a hearing problem?

  • JWC

    God had less to do with than the Gays did to cause it so throw that into your Rightous indignation

  • Professor Barnhardt

    Mosque at Banda Aceh following the December 2004 tsunami:

    http://www.abc.net.au/news/image/5963558-3×2-940×627.jpg

    • bambinoitaliano

      All the money was invested in building a solid foundation for a house build for an imaginary character. I want a Bat Cave build in my city stat!

    • Tomcat

      Is that photoshopped?

      • BobSF_94117

        I suspect the mosque was repaired and repainted. The area around it is all cleaned up.

  • The_Wretched

    Religious pandering disgusts me. It’s a mix of self-aggrandizement and virtue-signaling. In no event does it help or fix anything and, is, at best, a distraction from useful or good activities.

  • Nowhereman

    Instead of thanking a non-existent supernatural being for saving some people from the natural and man made disaster and blaming LGBT people for the people who died, how about looking into some flood control measures, building and zoning regulations for the future disasters, and regulating what kind of businesses can be built in densely populated areas. Texas is a great example of what happens when you are so bidness friendly that you kill off your own population. And have no doubt–this is what republicans would like to do nation wide.

  • bambinoitaliano

    When the head of your government offer prayer as a solution and comfort after a disaster you are so fuck!

  • boobert

    Nearly all of the world’s problems are due to religion!

    • Nowhereman

      True that. And denying science, as Texas does, just makes it worse. No “god” saved those people–PEOPLE saved those people.

    • Tomcat

      I will always AMEN that.

  • Nic Peterson

    I’d like to remind Texans that your elected officials used prayer as a solution to drought.

    • Jeffrey

      Technically this is an answered prayer, then.

      • Tomcat

        over answered.

        • Refugay

          They prayed too goddammed hard!

          • Cackalaquiano

            Shhh! As long as they’re praying they’re not actively fucking with our lives!

  • JWC

    it bloweth me away when supposed intelligent people will thank a spiritual mythical unseen diety for whatever they wish to apply it to yet cannot for their live see it and believe it is caused by climate change. I am Sorry. Yes you are a state in dire need but you are also a totally dumbfuck bunch of people

    • Jeffrey

      10 extra points for “bloweth” unlimited extra points for having Mrs Slocombe as your avatar.

      • JWC

        now unhand mah pussah

        • Leo Tallant

          I am sorry but I must remove a couple of Mrs. Slocombe points due to the avatar pic not having different colored hair every day ….. 😉

          • JWC

            Damn and you can’t just change an avitar’s hair colour daily

  • aar9n

    May God heal amputees.

  • JWC

    never kmew Abbott was wheelchair bound not that that matter a damn he is still a dumbfuck

    • DreadPikathulhu

      No doubt he thanks God every day for the oak tree that fell on him and caused his paralysis.

      In 1984, at age 26, Abbott was paralyzed below waist-level when an oak tree fell on him while he was jogging following a storm. He had two steel rods implanted in his spine, underwent extensive rehabilitation at TIRR Memorial Hermann in Houston, and has used a wheelchair ever since. He sued the homeowner and negotiated an insurance settlement worth more than US$10 million, resulting in payouts of US$14,000 a month.

      • Tomcat

        Why does the internet say he was crippled in an auto accident?
        And got 6 million settlement?

        • Tomcat

          Nothing about a tree found.

        • Tomcat

          According to the Dallas Times.

        • DreadPikathulhu

          That’s from Wikipedia. Maybe some prankster has edited it?

          • Frank McCormick

            No. The tree is the correct story. There’s also a follow-up: he later sponsored a bill to limit the amount of settlements that subsequent victims could receive.

          • Cackalaquiano

            THAT is classic Republican! I got mine, fuck y’all!

          • bzrd

            any reason given for such a large payout? after all, it just stormed weakening the roots,so god and nature and all that

      • JWC

        Now makes life miserable for everyone else Some people suffering adversities go one to challanenge and inspire people Some don’t

      • BearEyes

        didn’t he also work to change TX law to limit such payouts going forward?

        • Lars Littlefield

          Yes. He did do that.

      • BobSF_94117

        You left out that he went on to help pass laws limiting payouts in cases exactly like his.

  • Tomcat

    Great then let god provide the money to rebuild your lives.

  • Todd

    Dammit man ………… you couldn’t issue a day of prayer BEFORE the hurricane ?? DOH !!

    • Tomcat

      They already have EVERY Sunday and Wednesday as it is.
      They were probably praying for gays to die instead.

  • Tomcat

    Gays caused it and god is going to pay for ALL the repairs, contact your local church to get started.

  • ceeenbee

    Great, please pass that on to Daisy Saldivar, 6; Xavier Saldivar, 8; Dominic Saldivar, 14; Devy Saldivar, 16; Manuel Saldivar, 84; and Belia Saldivar, 81 who drowned in a van. Apparently the sky faerie didn’t think much of them. Maybe it doesn’t like brown people either.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8becb4fbea762641556e58a5405e12f71e25a65a0348be852ec056d1d6873c1a.jpg

  • Sykler
  • Dagoril

    Instead of prayer, how about a day of meeting to put building regulations in place in Houston? Because you made the flooding much much worse by doing away with regulation to appease billionaire asswipes. Oh yea. Prayer= Doing absolutely nothing…which is certainly easier than actually governing.

    • Tomcat

      That will be the day that that happens.

  • Michael White

    Does anyone have info on a LGBT charity in Houston? I don’t want to give to haters but want to support our family

  • margaretpoa

    Well I honestly can’t see how it’s possible for me to pray less than I already do but on Sunday, I’m going to give it a try!

  • Lazycrockett

    The recovery of bodies only got underway in a small part of the effect area today. It may be wise to hold off on these praise god celebration days.

  • Lazycrockett
    • Tomcat

      One of the richest cities in America don’t care about global warming because it might cost them a little money. Well you are right it will cost you money from now on.

  • Ernest Endevor

    Boy, they sure do everything they can to make it hard to care about them.

  • Tomcat

    OT:there is now ANOTHER storm starting off the African coast other than IRMA.

    • Tomcat

      These guys need to STOP praying while we have a country still.

      • Lars Littlefield

        Well, I’ve been thinking that getting rid of the old Confederate States might be a good idea since most of them have become so problematic recently. Hurricane away.

      • Friday

        Fundie Texas governors really do have a huge failure/backfire ratio on this kind of thing, ….it defies even coin-toss odds.

    • Tomcat

      And another weather area off Mexico that might increase.
      Please STOP praying.

    • Tomcat

      All confirmed by NOAA.

    • Tomcat
  • Gary Carnivele

    Texas Republicans are the worst variety of hypocrites – they sue the Feds at every turn and threaten to leave the nation, but when they are in need they make demands. That clown in the wheelchair has yet to answer why citizens with boats needed to save people while he defunded many agencies that should have helped. Also, he couldn’t care less that the flood water contains many highly toxic chemicals. The mainstream media is too concerned with regular people ‘heros’ to hold him to task.

    • Tomcat

      They better buy some Ducks from Navy, those boat shaped vehicles with wheels under them, they would be a great investment for ALL coastal cities from now on.

    • Stephen Elliot Phillips

      That tree limb missed its mark. What a pity

  • liondon#iamnotatraitor

    Didn’t know Calvinists we’re so big in Texas

  • Tomcat

    Harvey is almost dead now, down to 20 mph winds. Please a moment of silence for Harvey.

  • MikeBx2

    All the credit for the good; None of the blame for the bad. It’s good to be white Jesus.

  • TexasBoy

    Dear Sky Fairy,

    Thank you for only killing 31 of my fellow Texans, so far, when you sent Hurricane Harvey to devastate our coastline, destroy the 4th largest US city, make chemical plants explode, cut off Gasoline supplies, even to unaffected areas, or those areas with relatively minor damage.

    Your 2000 year old novel shows just how much of an asshole you can be, so at least you didn’t go full ape shit crazy on us.

    Love ya, mean it!

    • Tomcat

      Mother nature says sorry just trying to cool the planet down.

      • -M-

        True. Weather is a byproduct of heat flow.

      • Friday

        “This is what happens when you don’t *pay attention.* What do you think all those skills and fuel and materials you got are *for?*” –Mammagaia.

  • Hanwi
  • dukeofhurl

    Nice set dressings.

  • bcarter3

    I wonder if the families of those four children who drowned in a van are thanking god for touching and moving their lives.

    Idiotic statements like the governor’s aren’t just dumb, they’re Texas Dumb.

    • Talisman

      Everything’s bigger in Texas, including the ignorance.

  • bkmn

    I’m sending special thoughts and prayers for that asshole. How will I know if Jeebie answered them? We won’t hear from Abbott again.

  • Karl Dubhe

    Well, as prayers are never answered; you can guess what mine will be. 🙂

    I’ll pray that Que sera sera…

    https://youtu.be/xZbKHDPPrrc

  • BearEyes

    Been said many times, but still true.
    the real wall needs to be between church and state.

  • Lars Littlefield

    I’m probably making too much of this, but I have a nagging feeling that declaring everyone pray flies in the face of the Establishment Clause.

    • Ken M

      At least he didn’t thank God for bring Trump to town.

  • Orly

    It was the power of God that was able to pull people out of the water and literally save them,…

    If that’s true, it must follow that it was your god that put the people in the water in the first place, you insipid moron.

    It’s this kind of dumb-think that turned me off of religion when I was about 11. Even at that age I could see the stupidity and contradiction in that type of thinking. It still amazes me to see it in grown adults.

  • Ken M

    So is it going to be the first Sunday in Sept? The first Sunday, after the first Saturday (like election day changes) or it always going to be Sept. 3rd, whatever day it is? Final question..is it just for this year? Just wanting some clarification for next year. After losing on the bathroom bill, he’d sell his mother to please these people. Lovely shot of the guy in the wheelchair too, very touching.

  • -M-

    Because no one in Texas could pray unless their asshole of a governor makes a proclamation first.

  • William

    The evening news had a wonderful shot of Mike Pence taking branches from a pile and moving them to a new pile. So vice-presidential. Wasn’t there a soup kitchen for him to wash clean dishes in?

  • Ninja0980

    So why didn’t God spare everyone then?

    • jmax

      All those who died must have been sinful heathens.

  • Friday

    Useless Fundies in power. What’s the status of those indictments again?

  • Bluto
  • Friday

    “Be sure to only blame gay people and non-Christians for our climate-denialist and safety-deregulatory and civil-engineering-cutting policies, but be sure to assume that all the rescuers must be Christianists, and erase all the rest.”

  • Clive Johnson
  • olandp

    Perhaps they can all pray that Gov. Abbott regains the use of his legs. I’m sure that will work…

  • Tempus Fuggit
  • Mike

    Texas governors put the goober in gubernatorial.

  • Gianni

    “It was the power of God that was able to pull people out of the water and literally save them,” Abbott said…………Interesting. They give God the glory for being all-powerful and causing and/or allowing the storm to deal the damage and death that it did and then thank him for saving the ones who are still around to repair their shattered lives. The inanity is overwhelming. What’s more is that the true believers don’t have the guts to ever ask or ponder the obvious contradictions in their beliefs. It’s truly mind-boggling.

  • LatrinaDiBucca

    “Better thee than me!”

    Thank you, Lord, for putting my ass in this wheelchair, while my legs and penis wither to useless numb deadweight, and thank you, oh Lord especially for doing this before that scalding you so lovingly administered last year, which resulted in 3rd degree burns to the worthless, sensationless lumps of flesh and bone that are my legs. That would have been really painful if I had been able to feel it. Nothing says
    “Loving Heavenly Father” like having your spine snapped by a falling tree, all from the Might Hand of God Almighty. And that huge insurance settlement was a nice touch too (before I capped similar settlements for other who similarly receive your love). Praised are you oh Jehovah for looking out for me!

  • Homo Erectus
  • Dale Snyder

    From your wheelchair.

    Rich.

  • Barbaralbeets

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family!!!
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it >>>http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash124TopGreen/GetPay$97/Hour…..

  • NMNative

    When I was a kid my dad used to tell me to pray in one hand and shit in the other and see which one filled up fastest.

  • M Jackson

    Wonderful. I’ll put my checkbook away then.