British Poll: 37 Is Too Old To Go Clubbing

According to a survey conducted by a British electronics retailer, 37 is the average age at which respondents felt people are too old to go clubbing. The Independent reports:

Once you hit 37, you’re seen as too old for a night on the town, with a brutal 37 per cent of respondents saying that there’s nothing more “tragic” than seeing revelers in their 40s and 50s surrounded by twenty somethings.

However, most people are over big nights out by the time they hit their early 30s, with 31 being the age Britons begin to trade in the tequila for a takeaway.

In fact, almost half of the 5000 adults who took part in the study by Currys PC World prefer a cozy night in with the telly to an evening in the pub or at a club, with 30 per cent describing their ideal night-in as one lounging around and watching a boxset.

Matt Walburn, Brand and Communications Director of Currys PC World said that the study shows that “there comes a time when we appreciate our home comforts more than a hectic social life, and it can often be a drag to play the social butterfly at parties and nights out”.

  • Treant

    Now mind you, I stopped very shortly after I began–I have extremely good ears and don’t like loud music or, really, loud anything.

    But I always thought it was fun to see older folks there with their partners and friends, having a good time.

    • Gay Fordham Prep Grad

      I don’t disagree, provided they are not dressed like the 22 year olds. I find few things more tragic than a sixty year old trying to stuff himself into skinny jeans and whatever weird shirt is the rage at the moment. It’s the same revulsion I feel when I see the matrons on the UES with their faces tighter than a drum and forehead so tight they cannot close their eyes.

    • BudClark

      My fav bar was “The Delicatessen (?)” in the Castro that had live classical music on Sunday afternoons, and classical music on the juke box the rest of the time. One could have a conversation AND hear one’s self THINK!

  • Lazycrockett

    I’ve always been the dive bar type. Would much rather hang with friends and talk than listen to the constant Boom Boom Boom.

    • Todd20036

      Those can be fun

    • Rambie

      Plus a game of pool / darts / etc too

    • Steverino

      “Boom, boom, boom, let’s go back to my room…”

      • Joe Smith

        Gotta get that..
        Gotta get that…
        Boom boom boom!
        Boom boom boom!

  • David J

    The last time I was in a “nightclub” or bar … the security guard came up to me and asked me what I was doing there… he was 40 years younger than me. I answered, “That’s a good question! Would you like to dance?”

    • jerry

      Last month, in NYC’s east village, I was at a bar before they started charging cover…so the bouncer came around checking IDs. He didn’t look at mine, just patted me on the shoulder. But that didn’t stop me from going home with a younger man.

      • David L. Caster

        It’s amazing how many times I just get waved through by those guys and generally treated like gold. Of course I’m always pleasant and treat everybody the same way. My interest is in seeing everybody have a good time.

        • jerry

          Me too…and I’m always generous with the bartenders and (if applicable) go-go dancers. I was in DC for 5 days and NYC for 12 in June, and there’s now about 15 bartenders that know me by name and drink…

  • ccc

    Wow! I felt like 27 was too old to go clubbing after seeing all of the royal assholery about. This elicits the love-hate relationship that I have with the gay community.

  • JWC

    This is probably a fairly accurate study Around 40 you loose the desire to go clubbing and the younger patrons unconscientlty discouarge participation. In that, however, sows the seed of the clubs.per se, demise The older, and usually had the income, drop out, the younger with technology participate less

  • HZ81

    Fuck people who worry about what you’re doing.

  • Todd20036

    I look the way I look. I revel in the shock when I go out when someone asks me my age.
    My attitude is, if you think someone is too old to be clubbing, then don’t go to that club, and you won’t have to look at them.
    But if you want to go clubbing at age 80, fuck anyone who hates on you.
    It’s not like you are trying to impress 20-somethings.

    • David L. Caster

      Totally. I was a much better dancer at 55 and better socially than many of the 20- and 30-somethings at the dance clubs I loved to go to in Manhattan and elsewhere. And I could easily go all evening until the place was so packed one could not move. I started early and was done by 12:30 to 1:00 AM because I cranked up the place, got my fill, and was ready for breakfast.

      • CanuckDon

        In my experience as a club DJ, I could always rely on the older crowd getting on the dancefloor first and I was able to mix in the newest club tracks. They were the ones who didn’t stray off the floor because they didn’t know the song. The young crowd wouldn’t dare dance to something that their peers hadn’t approved!

        • “The young crowd wouldn’t dare dance…” because they don’t know how to. Either they hog the floor in an attempt to be street-dancer stars (which not only rude, but pitiful), or they slouch rooted in one spot, bobbing their heads like some damned plastic dog on the dashboard of a red-neck minivan… which is also pitiful. Gods forbid they break a sweat, move like they have rotating joints and a pelvis! NOOOO!!

      • mark99k

        Same here. Well into my 50s my energized dancing drew approving, and at times lustful, stares from sweatered twentysomethings — who always sat on the sidelines, rarely getting up to move to the music, let alone immerse themselves in its euphoria. Although they have more freedom and acceptance than we ever did at that age, I still pity them for not having come of age during a time when our music celebrated the remarkable joys and struggles of our lives.

    • Raising_Rlyeh

      A friend of mine went to a fetish night at a local bar and saw these two seventy-ish looking women dancing on the floor together. She decided that she wanted to dance with them. Find out it was two seventy-year-old men in drag dancing together. My friend said dancing with them is now one of her favorite experiences.

  • June Gordon

    It happens to be true. And goes double to those of you who think “but I look ten years younger.” You don’t.

    • Dean

      So what? You must be great fun at parties. I think you might be a troll but once in a while I’ll be charitable and throw them a few crumbs.

  • MBear

    Everytime we go out i tell the person working the door, “you know goth is dead when the old fags are bussing in from the burbs.”

    (Yeah, goth, industrial, etc, btw)

    • Dean

      I was in Leipzig for the Wave Goth Treffen event this year. An annual meeting of goths, punks, fetishists, steampunks etc. from all corners of the globe. The highlight of the weekend was a Queer party called “Glitter and Trauma” which was held in a huge old factory space in the Plagwitz neighborhood.

      The music was excellent and the crowd was wonderfully diverse. Everything from babybats to fey indie boys as well as drag queens and horny cruisy men in their forties and fifties such as myself.
      Fast forward to a few weeks later and I’m in one of my favorite bars in Berlin. They have a live DJ playing that night and at some point he puts on a song called “La Marcia Baila” by the French group Les Rita Mitsouko. I can’t resist singing along. Suddenly there’s a guy in front of me. He’s singing along too but he stops and says to me: ” I can’t believe you know all the words too.” He yells to the DJ : ” Hey Timo! This guy knows all the words too!”. He introduces me to Timo and as we’re talking I find out that he is one of the DJs from the party in Leipzig. He tells me that he is trying to get a similar event going in Berlin. The thing about clubs and bars here is that because so many of them have backrooms or dark rooms, sex is the common denominator. You have guys in their 20s going to the same places as guys in their 60s or 70s.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    hmmm well, Used to love going to the scene in various cities, well past 37. But by 47, the interest finally faded. Was just natural.

    • David J

      Once or twice a year is good to go, or if you’re in a new city somewhere you have not been before and the cover charge is reasonable, and the drinks are not watered-down. Just to see what the “kids” are up to these days. Of course, the music might not keep you there long… I’m from the era of the Beatles.

  • FormerMainer

    That is older than I would have guessed. I likely would have said 32

    • David J

      I think by about that age, if you’re going to get a life partner, 95% of us have chosen that person by 32.

      • j.martindale

        Some of us weren’t even out at that age.

      • JW Swift

        Some of us were trying, but didn’t find a “keeper”.

  • zhera

    Wouldn’t wanna be in a club anyway, with all that noise they call music these days.

    OMG I’m old!

    Wait, I don’t care.

  • DisqusD37

    Try a little gratitude, 20-somethings. It’s the 30-40-50somethings’ efforts that made your living out loud lives this easy.

    • Schlukitz

      Wisdom, unfortunately, only comes from age.

      As the old German philosopher once said…

      “Ve grow too zoon olt….und too late schmart!”

      • Todd Allis

        Though it’s not a given that wisdom will come, even with age.

        • Schlukitz

          This is true. I can think of a few examples. 😉

      • Chucktech

        I believe it was George Bernard Shaw who said “Youth is wasted on the young.”

        • Steve Teeter

          Another version: “Young men believe old men are fools. But old men know young men are fools.”

    • m_lp_ql_m

      It’s up to us to teach them that.

    • j.martindale

      60, 70.

    • HappyDance904

      Not to mention, we can afford better quality drinks than the young punks…

  • Gustav2

    Fine, that’s when we stopped going! lol

  • Do Something Nice

    I like cozy nights with the tele. And I like going clubbing, but I like to be home by 3am. Screw anyone who has a problem with my advanced age. If superficiality had value, many of our gay brothers would be wealthy.

    I take comfort knowing that those who place so much emphasis on being young etc, will go to pieces when they hit 40. And look like shit, too.

    • Butch

      I’m just laughing in reaction to “home by 3” because our alarm goes off at 4 a.m., and in fact we’ve been getting up at 4 so long that we don’t even need an alarm any more….I hate to admit it (actually I don’t, because I’m pretty happy with our rural life) but I rarely even see 9 p.m.

      • Do Something Nice

        Sometimes I go to bed at 9pm, other times at 9am. But mostly around 11pm.

        If going to be early works for you that’s great. I love watching the sunrise so sometimes I stay up late and other times I get up early.

    • BudClark

      “Meth NEVER delivers what it PROMISES!”

  • Acronym Jim

    Hey you kids! Get off my dance floor!

    • Schlukitz


      • Acronym Jim

        I’m only partially joking. That warm honey glow of my favorite dance floor comes from being polished with 30 years of my dance sweat.

    • jerry

      More like: “Hey you kids! Put down the fucking phone for 2 minutes and go dance with somebody!”

      • David L. Caster

        More like “put that phone away and stop standing in the middle of the dance floor where people are actually trying to dance”.

        • jerry

          That too. And last month in NYC, it wasn’t just in the clubs…people walking and texting, or just stopping abruptly in the middle of a crowded sidewalk, is a menace.

          • David L. Caster

            I was in a largish dance club and there, within minutes of peak hour, was a circle of about 8 twinks all on their phones, texting or twittering away. The place is packed and the knuckleheads were oblivious to the rest of the world and taking up probably a 12×12 section of the dance-floor. Had I been the DJ I would have dropped a less than subtle hint that the floor was for dancing.

          • John

            When I see someone, anyone, not just the youngsters, who is walking and so engrossed in their phone – texting or whatever – obviously not paying attention to their surroundings AND walking directly in my path, I wait until they’re maybe 3 feet away and, in my stern, loud, adult, parental type voice say, “HEADS UP”. They usually are so surprised they walk into me without an apology. The look is worth it all. Hopefully, but not likely, they learn a lesson.

          • Todd20036

            Really? I’d get on my knees and look up and say….”Oh, you mean THAT head…”

          • The New Paige Turner™

            My Rugby playing days are coming in very handy again at 50 as I get to use the well practiced “shoulder charge” once again as millenials and GenY’s crash into me as they are distracted by their phones and not watching where they are going.

            I am constantly amazed at the looks they give me because I wont get out of their way after they collide with me. They come off worse than me after crashing into 220Lbs of fit 50 year old gay man.

          • jerry

            At 150-155 lbs, I occasionally get squashed or run over in packed clubs by people 100-200 lbs larger than me…but I’m very practiced at not spilling my drink when it happens.

        • cheakamus

          Yes, and while you’re at it, please try not to slop your drink on the floor.

          • David L. Caster


      • John

        Better still…leave the damned phone at home and try conversation face to face….it’s fun…you’ll like it.

        • jerry

          I really find it ridiculous, especially at major clubs/parties, when they’re surrounded by 1000s of men and they’re using dating apps. Last year at PTown’s Bear Week, I was at tea and received a text, and I accidentally turned on Scruff…I think I broke it and it’s never worked since.

      • “EEEEWWWWW!! You mean like… actual, like, I dunno… talking? You mean, like… I hafta LOOK at ’em??!!”

        Makes me wanna whip off a pump and break the heel over their heads.

  • John Ruff

    Lol. I agree. The last time I went clubbing I was 28.

    • BudClark

      I’m 72; I stopped going to the bars (but not the baths) when I was about 30-35.

      • John Ruff

        Even bars annoy me and I’m 48.

  • ETownCanuck

    I don’t particularly care for the company of younger people, I didn’t even when I was one myself. The last time I was in a club (got dragged there by friends) I took a good look around and I felt like asking the bartender for a ride back to the nursing home rather than a cocktail.

    • John Ruff

      Not me. Young guys are hot!

      • Schlukitz

        Only in bed.

        Outside of that they are boooooooooooring. LOL

        • j.martindale

          Ageism works both ways. Shame on you! (But it is true that I kissed a bunch of young frogs–not tadpoles, mind you, I had some limits–before I hit on my husband.)

          • Schlukitz

            There is no shame in choosing to be with people closer to your own age group and with whom you can share similar interests as opposed to being a a crowded, noisy, smokey and drug-filled venue and getting bar pallor.

            If you wanna be a chicken hawk, that’s fine. There is no law against it and if it works for you, go for it.

            This is an open thread where everyone is entitled to speak about their likes, dislikes and their choices in life, not a place to judge people and degrade them for stating their preferences.

            Get over yourself.

          • j.martindale

            Good grief, Schlukitz, I was just teasing you!

          • You have to speak up when talking with eldergays /s
            (just be glad he wasn’t swing that cane around…just kidding Schluky!)

          • Schlukitz

            You comment did surprise me, I will admit. I did not see a snark indicator after your comment, so I erroneously assumed that you were serious.

            Thank you for clarifying. My sincere apologies.

            Oops…this comment was in response to j.martindale.

      • ETownCanuck

        They are, but then you have to learn to discuss crap like Steven Universe or quote everything from the last 9 seasons of Drag Race verbatim. It’s “less” likely that you’ll have to do that to attract a hot daddy.

        • Acronym Jim

          Okay, this 52-year-old has no idea who Steven Universe is but I am pretty fluent in drag-race-ese.

          • ETownCanuck

            I watch it but I don’t pepper every sentence with “Yes Gawd….Mmmmkay…Tongue Pop” like most of the young’uns around here do.

          • Acronym Jim

            I found Laganja Estranga annoying too. There is a certain knack to some of those utterances, as Ru demonstrates. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to party city.

        • m_lp_ql_m

          I’m finding that’s a stereotype. At least the ones I’ve known don’t care about mainstream media. But then again I do live near the ‘Berkeley bubble.’

          • ETownCanuck

            You’re lucky, cuz around here the stereotype is a stereotype for a reason.

        • John Ruff

          Luckily, that hasn’t been my experience.

    • Schlukitz

      I’m with you.

      When I was in my teens, all of my friends were men and women in their 30s and 40s and 50s. I learned so much from hanging around with them than I ever could learn from twinkies who were so silly and superficial.

      Age has it’s beauty.

    • Guest

      Same here; when I was young I liked older guys, now that I’m old I like people my own age (more or less). Yes, I get nostalgic at times for having a younger physique, but the young ones can be so insufferable at times.

      • Galvestonian

        … you’ll find that guys in uniform ( even the younger, hunky ones)
        have a different perspective on life and are generally better in bed.

    • orion dumptee

      last time I was at a club…i got a phone call while i was in the middle of the dance floor..Everybody TRIPPED over the cord,as the bartender brought the phone over to me (sigh)

  • m_lp_ql_m

    I was 45 when I came out 7 years ago, fearing that I’d have no social life, no sex life whatsoever. Hitting the clubs in an assumed last-gasp-at-a-2nd-adolescence, I had no idea there’d be so many 19- and 20-somethings looking for a daddy. So I stick out?

    • Schlukitz

      Someone once said, “How do you know when you’ve become a daddy?”

      “When a young twink calls you one.” was the reply. 😉

      • perversatile

        I remember an interesting conversation with some well appointed older gentlemen at MAL about 30 odd years ago, over whether a
        23 year old Dom was a Boy-Daddy or a Daddy-Boy. I was obliged
        to offer that it didn’t matter, because my boy called me Paw-Paw..

      • Galvestonian

        It’s when they address you as ‘SIR’ !

    • Gustav2

      We were 35 when we found each other and ‘settled down’ after over 15+ years of the bar/clubs. Everyone’s experience is different.

    • David J

      I hope you found some good friends and love from those 20 somethings. It’s always fun, at my age, (about 20 years more than you are), to have a good dance, conversation, share drinks with kids that could be my grandchildren, if I had grandchildren…enjoy your life at EVERY age, and don’t put yourself down for wanting friends and lovers and people that accept you as you are.

      • m_lp_ql_m

        Thank you for those wise words. That’s essentially what it all comes down to, regardless of that age number.

        • David J

          I remember losing my first lover at about 25, and crying, and the man that comforted me, helped me through it all was 40 years my senior. I was just glad to find an understanding friend of any age. It’s not the age that counts, it’s the caring and concern we show our fellow humans all throughout life.

    • j.martindale

      I met my husband, 14 years my junior, at a club when I was 42. Not everyone is into summer/winter relations, but it sometimes works. And ageism is just another prejudice.

      • Galvestonian

        … I’m 74 and my hubby is 52 – we’ve been together 25 years.

        • j.martindale

          27 for us.

    • j.martindale

      Some of us didn’t reach the peak of our physical attractiveness until we hit 40. Seriously. I looked terrible in the 1960s in my 20s. (I am going to blame it all on the bell bottoms and clingy nylon shirts.)

    • ElenorRigby

      yeah when I was 19 in the 80s, my buddied used to go to the “older guy” bars looking for father figures. I don’t think we really realized we were doing that.. but we were.

    • JCF

      Good for you, {{{m_lp_ql_m}}}!

    • Todd20036

      Many of them aren’t looking for someone to take care of them, so much as someone mature to talk to/ confide in.

  • Boreal

    On vacation we have occasionally gone to a club but if the music is too loud to talk, we’re outta there.

  • David

    I don’t go to dance clubs because I absolutely hate the prissy, bitchy, narcissistic, bullshit attitude you find there.

    I’m an artist (and 50). Give me a dive bar with a diverse & eclectic crowd, and I’ll be happy.

    • BudClark

      Jack’s Bar on University Circle in Cleveland OH in the late ’60s / early ’70s: black, white, drag, leather … and leather men DID dance (at least back in the day).

  • shellback

    The last time I was out on the town in a DISCO, you could enjoy a smoke with your drinks, AIDS was unheard of, and no one had a shaved head.

  • Steverino

    Well, come to think of it, it has been about 25 years since I last went clubbing, so that sounds about right.
    : )

  • Jonathan Smith
  • Adam Stevens

    I can’t imagine giving a toss as to what someone else thinks of me.

    If I want to go to Danceteria, I bloody well will!!!

  • VodkaAndPolitics

    This is certainly not the case here in Wilton Manors.

    • djcoastermark

      Wilma is a lot of fun and what makes it, is that there is such a broad range of ages out and about.

      • VodkaAndPolitics

        When we first got here, it felt like there were kids in their early 20’s and Baby Boomers, and not much in the middle, but recently there’s been an influx of professionals in their 30s and 40s and it’s been really really great.

  • djcoastermark

    My hubs and I really don’t care what others may think. Sometimes we feel like hitting a big club to dance, sometimes a dive to, um, have darts and fun, sometimes a smaller club, sometimes a romantic dinner and TV at home. Just depends on the mood of us 2 , and who cares what others may say.

  • Harveyrabbit

    I work in a club. We have people there from early teens (all ages events) to some well past 60 on a regular basis. If they want to be there and have fun then good on them. Nobody there judges.

  • You can’t be too old to go a gay bar but you can be too childish. And childish behavior afflicts people of all age range.

  • Mike C

    Dancing at 40 is tragic?

    • m_lp_ql_m

      Tragically hip.

    • Schlukitz

      We should be applauding those who are still dancing at 40, 50 and even beyond.

      Beats sitting in a rocker on the front porch and yelling at the kids to “Get off my lawn”. LOL

  • Just back from PTown Bear Week – if they had to rely on the under-37 set there, it would have been tumbleweeds in the streets. I’m 54, and it’s always such fun to feel, if not young, at least very much in the middle of the pack!

    And I don’t think it’s just the bears – we were there for the tail end of Circuit Week, which definitely trends toward 40 (and loud, but that’s another matter).

    • JWC

      Tankfully a “Bear Event” sort of scares off the younger crowd

    • edrex

      i’m heading to P-town tomorrow. hope you left some food and drink behind.

    • jerry

      I usually go to PTown during Bear Week, but this year in June I went to 3 separate Prides, including DC and NYC (also decided to go to Southern Decadence next month). When at any of these, I generally don’t slow down for anything, and just try to keep me off the dance floor. Try to keep up kids.

  • CoffeeGeekmn

    Having just turned 40, I’ll take a speakeasy / craft cocktail joint (even if it is a “straight bar”) over a club any day. I’m finding more and more of us visiting these types of establishments too. I’ll, for the most part, only hit up a club when I am traveling to check out the local scene. Plus once you make friends with the bartenders, a $15 cocktail is usually “3-4-1’s” which makes it a lot less expensive than going to a gay club and usually eliminates the youngsters that can’t afford it! It’s a win-win!

  • With that being said, the older you get you kinda start feeling socially isolated at dance clubs with rude 20 somethings. I kinda prefer actual gay bars these days where I can have conversations with those who wants it.

    (I hope I am not being distasteful here by complaining about aging when I haven’t even hit 30 yet)

    • Schlukitz

      Sadly, we live in a society that idolizes and caters to youth and that is what causes so many folks to feel old before they are even out of their twenties. 🙁

  • I recently turned 58. I would still like to find someone with whom to share my life, but I doubt I’m going to find him in a Gay bar. Last time I walked into an unfamiliar Gay bar, the regulars looked at me as is to say, “What’s SHE doing here?”

    Finding SEX, or course, is as easy as getting a smartphone app. There’s always a willing someone nearby to have it off with. But that’s not my style. I’m at an age when romance and, yes, COURTING are more important. But I doubt I’ll find that at any Gay clubs these days.

    • Galvestonian

      check out Silverdaddies …

    • Last time I walked into an unfamiliar Gay bar, the regulars looked at me as is to say, “What’s SHE doing here?”

      Darling, a version of that happened every time I entered an unfamiliar bar/club. Especially at a smaller venue. But here’s the thing, some of the guys may have been thinking that but I’m sure some of them were also thinking “Where have you been all my life!”
      There’s an old joke…a mother and daughter walking through a store, the mother says “Did you see the dirty look that salesman gave me?!”
      daughter replies “No mother, you had it on when we walked in”
      A long gone friend of mine always thought that any and every man on the street who looked at him was cruising him, I used to be like the mother in the joke and thought that many men looked at me negatively. With age I realized that both of us were incorrect.

  • Rex

    I just go out as two 30 year olds – twice the fun.
    Or three 20 year olds, and exhaust myself.

    • Jean-Marc in Canada

      Hahahaha, best answer!!!

  • DuaneBidoux

    Im 58 and still go out. If you don’t like it tough shit!

    • Schlukitz

      Great attitude.

      Joke ’em if they can’t take a fuck! LOL

  • BudClark

    Gay ageism. San Diego is a big military base. I remember in particular one jet jockey From Top Gun who was CONSIDERABLY over 50, who could (and would) pull tricks left and right when he went out to the bars or the baths.

    “Does he have a PERSONALITY? Is he INTELLIGENT? Is he KIND? Is he a DEMOCRAT? Would *I* like to spend the rest of my life with HIM?”

    THOSE are the kinds of questions I ask myself when attracted to a man my age or older.

    Back in the day, most of my long-term boyfriends were younger; most of them were also unmitigated disasters. I wasn’t looking for an impoverished twink who was, in turn, looking for a meal ticket!

    • Schlukitz

      More often than not, twinks who like daddies, expect them to pick up the check all of the time which is really the only interest that a younger man would have in an older man.

      There are exceptions I am sure, but my experience with younger men was pretty much as you described and I’m over it at this point in my life.

      • Ragnar Lothbrok

        I made sure the house boy had money

        • j.martindale

          All the people I cruised at the bars were younger than I. I had left a 15 year marriage when I was approaching 40, and was starting off fresh. Too many of the boys I hooked up with were not looking to settle into a relationship. That is to be expected when they are in their 20s. And I think that, rather than their looking for a sugar daddy, was what I experienced that made the relationships not work. Then I found my beautiful Michael, and the rest of my life has been what I had always dreamed of.

          • Ragnar Lothbrok

            Good for you !

      • Galvestonian

        When I was younger it was the older guys that were better in bed – anyone my age was boring. The older guys knew all the moves and how to really get you off.

        • Schlukitz

          So I found.

          I wasn’t born a dirty old man, ya know? 😉

  • Rex

    Honestly, the thought of going out to a dance club exhausts me.
    Having said that, I’d still be up for a night of fun and dancing if I had a group of gay friends like I used to. And if anyone at a club thinks I’m too old to be out – fuck ’em.
    And, if any of those young boys likes older men – fuck ’em too!

    • David J

      I’d be honored to have that first dance (or last dance) with you, man!

  • CanuckDon

    with 30 per cent describing their ideal night-in as one lounging around and watching a boxset.

    Yawn….I want some action….

    • Jonathan Smith

      we posted the same song 🙂

    • David J

      I remember dancing in the streets of Boston in a Gay Pride parade to this song… oh so many years ago.

    • Daveed_WOW

      i beg your pardon but thats “ak-shone”

      • CanuckDon

        lol…thanks…I wasn’t sure how to spell it!

  • David J

    Maybe some enterprising young buck will start a “club” for “clubbing” for the 35+ crowd, subdued music, red-purple lighting, fresh air and views atop some city somewhere…. I bet that person could make a fortune with people that once-in a-while, like to feel a few moments like they were young again, but enjoy each other’s company, enjoy the music and the dancing and the drinks, and the nature of enjoying ourselves of whatever age… photo ID must prove you’re 35+ it just might work. Someone once said that a bar or club is just a public place for a party. Every body loves a party here and there in their lives, no matter what age.

    • Treant

      At my age, I find my best lighting is candle and/or moon. So something dim, would be the takeaway here. And not in red or purple, which make me look inebriated or dead respectively.

      • Lumpy Gaga

        “I see dead people. And it’s kinda hot.”

        • Treant

          “I love the dead. Frequently.” –Warcraft III, Necromancer

    • CanuckDon

      Hopefully someone figures it out! (but it won’t be a young buck)

    • m_lp_ql_m

      At my age, the best lighting is high-intensity. Otherwise, I’m blind. 😛

    • Karl Dubhe

      Waht? Speak up, sonny! I can’t hear you.

      *fun fact, I once said that (I can’t hear you) to a drill instructor in basic training. 😀 He wasn’t impressed at all.

  • stevenj

    LOL a slogan heard frequently during a generation decades ago……until many of us turned 30.

    • m_lp_ql_m

      I’m 52, I sure as hell don’t!

    • Oh, Parker

      I rarely trust anyone under 30 these days.

      • Bryan

        4 months and a week til I’m 29 and I sincerely assure everybody in JMG I’m one of those exceptions….but I can’t really speak to clubbing, the nicest night I had was at a gay coffee shop in the Hillcrest/San Diego/La Jolla area and that was to study for finals. Never really been ‘in’ a club

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    M’eh, I’m over 50, my husbotter is 30 something (that’s our secret to keep) and we still go out sometimes…note the word: sometimes. We do what we want, when we want and how we want. If some 20 something twink has issues, tough. Ironically, when we’re out, many people come up and tell us we’re a nice couple etc. So, do what you want, it’s not for others to dictate. Besides, if a 50 or 60 year old queer wants to go and have some fun, I dare say they’ve earned the right to do so and the queerlings should have some respect.

    • Silver Badger

      If they don’t show respect, do what I do and thunk the alongside of their head with your cane.

      • Jean-Marc in Canada

        I just look them up and down, then say something like: “While I know I can easily afford you, I’m afraid I don’t do Goodwill”

        • jerry

          My only problem with the 20s-age group is that (generally) they need to put away their phones for a couple minutes and actually interact with other people. That, and when they start hitting on me, my first thought is “OK, how much money do you want?”

        • Stubenville

          Ooh snap. Totally stealing.

  • pch1013

    I was too old for clubbing when I was 18. I can’t dance and I’m a bit claustrophobic.

  • Mrs. Councillor Nugent

    Clubbing? How about the Boatslip, an hour prior to tea dance, incoming Friday of Bear Week, 2015?

    • Acronym Jim

      Is that “clubbing” or “cubbing?”

  • Stephen Elliot Phillips

    When i was in my 20s i actively searched out the over 40 set at the clubs. Those men had the money for cocktails and dinner. And the sex was better than some 5 minutes to blast off boy.

  • Xuuths

    “tragic”? Oh, these so-called respondents are probably the same ones trying to boost their own damaged feelings by making “those clothes are so last week” comments. Ick. Despised them back in the day, still do. Nowadays I respond with “thanks for telling everyone you’re lousy in bed.”

  • bambinoitaliano

    Testing ABC 123. For some reason my comment was held pending approval. Is there a certain word you cant use that will be flag?

    • Acronym Jim

      I understand “See You Next Tuesday” is frowned upon.

      • bambinoitaliano

        I still cant post once it goes into pending mode.

        • Acronym Jim

          If it’s anything like the TR pending mode, it’s gone forever. You might just want to reword the post and enter it into a new comment field.

  • ChrisInKansas

    When the husband and I first met in 96, we would go out to the clubs in Wichita nearly every weekend. It was mainly for the music and the opportunity to “be ourselves” without fear of judgement (it certainly wasn’t for the smoke or alcohol). Now we’re solidly in our mid 40s and haven’t been to a club in easily a decade. But back then, there were numerous guys our age now or older, and we didn’t give it a second thought. I hope we’d be accepted the same if we ever got a wild hair and started partying again (God forbid).

    • bambinoitaliano

      Those judgy queens probably never lifted a finger to fight for our rights let alone the freedom they get to enjoy today. I’ll dance till I drop dead the hell with them.

      • Jean-Marc in Canada

        That’s exactly it. We did such a good job at being ‘accepted’ that many young queerlings today don’t face the barrage of bullshit we did. Further, they really don’t know what came before them, many are woefully ignorant of what it took to get here, so they take it all for granted. Whenever we encounter such queens, we usually just say “you’re welcome”, which sometimes invokes a response of “why did you say that?”….and thus, the education can begin, if but for a brief moment.

        • m_lp_ql_m

          I’ve always assumed that education was the responsibility of us older gays.

          • Jean-Marc in Canada

            It is, which is why we should be unafraid to challenge the queerling misconceptions.

    • Tor

      There’s something about a daddy…. now that I am one.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    The best bar ever had a main bar where you could go right to the disco, second level for a quiet piano bar, another level for pool / darts, another sound proof bar for country music, outside to a patio or just stay in the main part and mingle with whoever. Very well thought out.

    • Acronym Jim

      That actually reminds me of the original City Nightclub in Portland, Oregon. Even though it was an underage club, it had plenty of quiet areas outside the main disco. I’m glad it was there for those nights when I’d get carded at the Embers or Flossies.

      • Ragnar Lothbrok

        Boxes was the place to be when we were there. I think the owner was from calif and kinda different.

        • Acronym Jim

          Unfortunately, the Boxxes/Brigg/Red Cap complex is no longer there. It was a victim of the gentrification of the old gayborhood in the Burnside Triangle. Boxxes is shuttered, as is the attached Fish Grotto restaurant, and the old Red Cap Garage and Brigg dance floor has been converted into an “alleyway” of high end shops.

          Silverado (FKA Flossie’s) and CC Slaughters are still open, but they moved to a new spaces on Third Avenue and Old Town respectively. Scandals is the only gay bar remaining in the Burnside Triangle.

          • Ragnar Lothbrok


    • Bj Lincoln

      I was in a place like that in Columbus Ohio some 30 years ago. I like dancing but the music today is that techno crap and I do like to be able to talk to and hear my date so a place like that is perfect.

  • Karl Dubhe

    I take it they only polled straight people?

    It used to be that the only place ‘we’ could socialize was at the bar. It’s one reason so many of us drink too much. Not me, or anyone here, of course. 🙂

    But I can’t hear anymore, so there’s no point in going to a bar. 🙁

    • Ragnar Lothbrok

      It’s not your ears we / they are interested in 🙂

    • CanuckDon

      Seeing the mixed ages when I first came out is what I absolutely loved about the gay bars in the ’80s.

  • Waarki

    And you thought Logans Run was just a dystopian novel

  • Jacob

    Enjoy your limited lives losers.

  • Daveed_WOW

    I’m as much fun as two 27 year olds

  • Guest

    I’m 62. I’ve earned the right to go wherever the fuck I want to. The fact that youngsters are neither interesting nor a turn-on for me is what keeps me out of “their” spaces for the most part. But if I’m on vacation with a group and we feel like observing the party scene as tourists, get out of our way.

  • Jmdintpa
  • Andymac3

    This must be a survey of straight people with kids, which is probably the people that overpay at Currys PC World (UK). They rarely have good deal but they are good for seeing something up close before buying online from somewhere cheaper if you aren’t an impulse buyer, and like the one I lived near in Edinburgh, some excellent clearance prices of open box items.

    • Dazzer

      Exactly my thoughts also.

  • ElenorRigby

    I’m 50… I was a club King back in the 80s when going to a gay bar was a bold political statement, not a fun night for straight girls from the burbs. I was dancing my ass off when Kylie released her first record, I was on the floor when they debuted Like A Prayer and we had our fun… back then most men over 30 were dead from AIDS and when you saw someone older it was always a bit jarring. Like when they see an old man in Logan’s Run for the first time.

    There are plenty of bars in LA and SF and NYC where older guys can party next to the 20-somethings. But they’re rare… now in LA the young guys go to The Abby and Rage… the older guys go to Precinct and The Eagle. I don’t go to the White Party but all my friends who DO go are all in their late 30s to early 40s.

    Personally, I’m much happier to spend my weekend nights out at dinner with friends over martinis and conversation.. we had less to talk about at 21 so the music could drown that out.

  • leastyebejudged

    Ageism is very popular, especially here when you get on the subject of couples with an age difference.

    Self hate is a very powerful thing, you can’t lay claim to not hating yourself and at the same time prattle on about ageist horse shit.

    Yeah, I’m saying a LOT of you really hate yourselves, and its’ displayed for all to see in your shitty attitudes about coupes with an age difference.

  • Galvestonian

    There used to be Silver Fox clubs – clubs where older men went to meet and greet younger men and younger men went to meet and greet older guys
    – what happened ?

    … and who owns the clubs/bars ??? it’s not the kids.

    • vstill

      Wish I could remember the name of that bar my friends took me to in D.C. a number of years ago, locally known as the “Wrinkle Room,” and it was. I/we fit right in, although it was too sad and we left for other pastures. Surely someone here knows the real name of that place.

  • The poll results don’t surprise me at all, The club scene in London has mutated into a sad, (and sometimes lethal) ChemFest. When you were here last year Joe, we all hung out at our favorite gay pub the duke of wellington. Years ago as a 19 year old in London for the first time, two of the first gay clubs I ever went to were Heaven (Boy George DJ’d) and G-A-Y, Now we refer to the latter as “the nursery”

  • Nax

    Why ask such a question?

  • Hank

    Reminds me of the days, when the saying was “Never Trust anyone over 30”!!! /s

  • tim870

    I agree for a different reason. When I reached that age those kids at the club annoyed the shit out of me! I knew I didn’t belong there anymore.

  • Gods… the Brits have gone to shit. 37 and flabbing it out in front of the boob-tube. Now that IS “sad.”
    In my mid-thirties I was tearing up dance floors, the tops of pool tables, and taking over the go-go boy’s spot between sets.
    My ex- and I would get out there and dirty (actually filthy, smutty, one-jockstrap-short-of-fucking) dance on the dance floor, and would leave with more tips than the go-go’s did for a whole night of wiggling.
    Long, long ago, in a black hole far, far away, my drag mommie – Madame Scarlet O’Harlot, the terror of the West – told me, “baby-cakes, if you aren’t hard 5 beats into the song you’re not really trying. If he doesn’t want to rip your pants off and fuck you stupid right there on the dance floor, you got no damn business being out there.” Yeah, Momma was a nasty ho’, but she was also RIGHT!

  • olandp

    I got tired of going out and seeing the 20 yos that looked like they just tumbled out of bed without giving a thought to what they look like. I was always showered, blow dried, and ironed. The main dance club her just played house music, which as I understand if you are Extacy is really great, but if you aren’t it is just boring.

    Why would I waste my fabulousness on them?

  • Joseph Miceli

    I live in New Orleans. We have a good mix of twinks and bears and there’s a lot of segregation between the bars. Laffites is a bear bar, Oz and the Pub are mostly twink bars….but even then types mix. As a 52 year old man I DO feel out of place in the bars now and I never go out to them anymore. I just would rather stay home, have a cocktail and read or play videogames than pay 50 to 70 dollars to perch on a barstool and drink while everyone else parties around me.

  • BudClark

    Ageist twinks can blow it out their gaping assholes!

  • BudClark

    And this is why there are more homes for homeless twinks than there are for eldergays.

  • SFHarry

    I think this might be an appropriate story for this post:
    A few years ago I was eating my lunch standing outside in the Castro when an older man (~65) came up to me ranting about how ageist the Castro is. He was sick of how horribly the younger people treated him. He was invisible and they wouldn’t give him the time of day. I thought it was really sad and suggested he might go to the Twin Peaks bar where a lot of other older guys hang out. I explained there he could find some guys around his age who might understand what he was going through. To which he replied, “oh no, they disgust me!”

  • Dunkerblinker

    AMEN! When I was in my 20s it did seem creepy/Sad to see older men in the clubs. My club days are over now..been there done that but there will always be elder fellows you will never leave…Just like older men that sport abercrombie gear just sad.

  • jo gerardo

    We go to live music bars now. Women usually dance by themselves and welcome any men on the floor. They dance suggestively by my side, take the lead or sometimes, actually bump butts. They seem to have already figured out I’m a harmless old homo. Their clueless spouses relax when I go back and sit down with my own hombre.

    I stopped going to gay bars a long time ago, tired of the stink eye from kids thinking I was ogling them (as if) and everyone else calling me “Papi”. Also there’s the music, it usually sucks. It’s not like when I was a kid. I mean, “Who dies in their own vomit these days?”.

  • Phil2u

    …totally cultural attitude, and I’m afraid it’s similar in the U. S. When I m in Mexico City, I dance all night; I m almost 70 y.o.

  • Jack

    “there’s nothing more ‘tragic’ than seeing revelers in their 40s and 50s surrounded by twenty somethings.”

    I agree. Those twenty somethings look really tragic.

    I’m pretty sure I thought the same way. I know better now.

    BTW, today’s my birthday. I’m 69. The picture is a few years old.

    • Baltimatt

      Happy Birthday!

  • Secure

    Life is short. Do whatever the hell you wanna do.

  • Ginger Snap

    I don’t go clubbing like I used to but damn I live a crazy drunken night out at the clubs(not so many clubs around still) I could two fucks what anyone thinks if my aging ass out at the clubs. Life is a party and I refuse to miss out.

  • HappyDance904

    I do as I please and I am 50. I need no permission!!

  • Dale082

    My husband (70) and I (53) usually only go out to clubs if we are out of town, and we don’t give a shit what anybody thinks … of course we tend to gravitate towards the leather end of the spectrum and we always feel welcome there. At home we’re part of a “Supper Club” that meets once a month. There are 23 of us. We all take turns entertaining everyone else with dinner and drinks. The hosts will frequently invite others who aren’t officially in the group so it can end up being a lot more. We hosted a supper club last January that had 30 guests. We did June this year and had 24. We’ve been doing this for about 20 years … so, who needs to go out to a bar? 🙂

  • Zollergasse

    There’s nothing more tragic… than straight people who worry so much about what other people think. Who cares about this hetero poll?

  • Rip Paige

    If someone has an issue with the way I dress or how I choose to entertain myself based on my age that truly is their problem, not mine. I learned a lot from a woman that was not restricted by much, my Grandmother. She always said “Don’t lie about your age be proud of who you are.
    But, if you feel you need to, add 15 years because you will always look fabulous.” Did I ever show you the picture of her in her leopard swimsuit at 80? She lived to be 98.