Bermuda Newspaper: Same-Sex Marriage Has Been Legalized And Somehow God Hasn’t Destroyed Us

Bermuda’s Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage last week and the editorial board of the Royal Gazette can’t resist taking a poke at the haters. They write:

At not long after lunchtime yesterday, a casual look outdoors revealed the sky was not falling; nor was it red. Upon further inspection, a saunter towards the coastlines revealed there was no tsunami hurtling towards Bermuda to send us whence we came. In fact, it was a most spectacular Bermuda day; beach weather on Cinco de Mayo.

Traffic was still moving along at its normal, if breakneck, pace — the roundabout outside The Royal Gazette claiming yet another scalp — with typically Bermudian courtesies still being exchanged among passers-by in the busy streets. And an expensively priced bag of crisps was still expensively priced.

In short, the Supreme Court provided the foundation for a same-sex marriage to take place in Bermuda in the future and no one died. Nothing changed.

But for a couple in love.

Bermuda is the seventh of the fourteen British Overseas Territories to legalize same-sex marriage.

  • Gustav2
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  • Henry Auvil

    Bermuda shorts should come back in fashion.

    • PickyPecker
      • Ragnar Lothbrok

        Good fit, good color & practical.

        • DaddyRay

          Indeed,those shorts do a good job covering that cock

          • Nelson Kerr

            I thought it, but was not cruel enough to type it

      • another_steve

        ATTENTION ATTENTION

        There will be a meeting of the Chicken Anti-Defamation League tonight at 8 pm to discuss the humiliating practice of dressing up chickens and making them make fools of themselves.

        Drinks and chicken feed will be served.

        • Silver Badger

          Is this better or worse than dressing and chicken in the oven @350 degrees for an hour and a half?

          • another_steve

            “No greater love hath any chicken than to give up his life for a nice Chicken Cacciatore Over Rice.”

            – The Book of Poultry, 5:12

        • Acronym Jim

          Which is more humiliating – a chicken with pants or a duck without pants?

          http://www.israellycool.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/angry-duck.jpeg?w=240

          • another_steve

            Why hasn’t One Million Moms complained to Disney about that?

          • GayOldLady

            Good thing he has all those feathers.

      • Tawreos

        This is not the half naked chickens I usually like to check out, but it does bring a smile to my face.

        • Silver Badger

          That’s what PP does.

    • Silver Badger

      They went out?

      • Gustav2

        Yes, then no, then yes, then no, then yes, then no, but then we are not slaves to fashion at our age.

      • bambinoitaliano

        At the knees or on the floor perhaps.

      • Rambie

        For those of us who can not sport a speedo they are still in fashion.

        • Silver Badger

          It’s not that we can’t. It’s that we shouldn’t.

          • Rambie

            I stand corrected my good sir. 🙂

          • RoFaWh

            Sez who?

          • Silver Badger

            Good taste?

          • barrixines

            Actually I have a bit of a thing about men who probably shouldn’t be wearing speedos wearing speedos.

            https://i.giphy.com/dANm7WjeWZi00.gif

        • RoFaWh

          Anybody can sport a speedo. It’s just that some cause more laughter than others.

          That said, if it’s comfy and you like it, go ahead and wear it. The laughers won’t know what they’re missing.

          • djcoastermark

            The most comfy is nothing at all ! However, there are some parts of me that don’t want to deal with being burnt bits.

    • david fairfield

      My lesbian cousin has been wearing them for 40 years, and has them in several shades of beige. This will make her happy!

    • Hue-Man
  • Blake Mason

    Another couple has filed intent to marry there… please feel free to leave comments … there are already a few there…http://www.royalgazette.com/news/article/20170508/gay-couple-to-file-banns-after-court-ruling

    • Bj Lincoln

      Most of the comments are positive. I hope it all works out.

  • Blake Jordan

    Are the local religious nuts going to try sue the newspaper for religious persecution, or some other kind of bullshti? 😂😂😂

    • bambinoitaliano

      They love their nuts to be squeeze in the bathroom stalls and feint outrage in the daylight.

      • RoFaWh

        “feign”

    • Gigi

      Probably. They’re quite “thumpy” there.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    I assume Bermuda is actually inside the Bermuda Triangle ? Would it be a good idea to marry inside of it ? Is there anything to the myths ? My Uncle’s fighter plane went down in the Bermuda Triangle. Never found 🙁

    • Blake Mason

      No… we actually make up one of three of the points of the triangle…

  • bambinoitaliano

    Cue the Brown Turd smells another grifting opportunity in 3,2,1….

  • another_steve

    Not only did our marriage not result in the end of the world but it was also the biggest boost to Maryland’s economy in a hundred years.

    We still have florists and bakers and caterers stop us in the street, kiss our rings and say, “Thank you thank you thank you, guys, for having gotten married!!”

    • M Jackson

      I provide service at weddings for my living. I can guarantee you that I do NOT consider myself to be a Participant in your ceremony! I am a vendor providing a service for cash,
      and if anyone else in my business is judging the paying bride(s) or groom(s) and is thinking about discriminating against them, then I hope they go out of business as of yesterday.

      • another_steve

        We had an event planner arrange our reception. Girl was a hoot.

        If I could marry her in addition to my husband, I think I would.

        • M Jackson

          Perfect! I work in Events every day, every facet of the industry. A wedding is always a time to remind yourself that what is just a job for you is a day that the clients will treasure for generations. The job is a duty to make sure it is a special day.
          At any wedding the groom may be PG (probably gay), the bride big as a barn, the groomsmen and half the bridesmaids will always be drunk, and one grandma will be a dear heart, gay, straight, Jewish, Korean, Jordanian, Texan, all are marrying in New York City,
          but never, ever are they going to be judged by me, or anyone I work with. The thought of it just makes me sick.

          • another_steve

            Interesting to read your insights on this, MJ — the insights of an industry “insider.”

            When my man and I were interviewing event planners at the very beginning of the process, we told them that we insisted that each and every vendor candidate be thoroughly vetted re queer-friendliness. If they even fluttered an eyelash when told that this was going to be a same-sex wedding and that the grooms would be inviting a ton of screamin’ bitchin’ queens as well as powerful not-to-be-messed-with lesbians, the vendor interviewee was to be immediately eliminated from consideration.

            Consequently, we had the most gay-friendly vendors imaginable. Most were straight, but girl had done what we requested and had gotten us the best of the best.

          • M Jackson

            Thanks for sharing your story, sounds practically perfect in every way.
            Being in Manhattan you would be hard-pressed to find an overtly homophobic business. Your caterers, florists, designers and event planners would all include gay employees so it’s a non-issue. The only issues are making memories and lots of money.

      • Ben in Oakland

        I was a wedding photographer for 30 years. I like to tell the bigots that I was a highly paid helper, and that the idea that I am some sort of participant is the nonsense they tell themselves in order to justify their religious bigotry.

        • David Walker

          As Phred Phelps used to exhort through his signage:
          FAG ENABLER
          Thank you.

  • PickyPecker
    • Gigi

      Loving to look at my Prime Minister isn’t a crime either!!

      • Ben in Oakland

        We’re thinking about it, due to all of the competition. there is only so much longing and sighing the poor man can take

  • Ninja0980

    What a nice way to say fuck you to the bigots.

  • Todd20036

    Funny how the haters have to resort to their invisible friendly bigot daddy to justify to non-haters that LBGTs need to be discriminated against.
    Funny how non-haters feel that’s a crock of shit.

  • Gigi

    The Talibangelists in Bermuda will be seething when they read this. I love it!

  • The_Wretched

    It’s almost like ‘god’ doesn’t exist, or if it does, doesn’t care one way or the other about the legal rights of marriage. Either way, that ‘holy book’ seems to be missing the boat.

  • Baltimatt

    OT, but Nigerian “gay marriage” movie article needs some Facebook or DISQUS comments.

    http://www.vanguardngr.com/2017/05/sex-marriage-moviewe-receiving-backlash-since-shot-busted-face-onu/

    Weird how gay relationships are considered marriage in certain parts of the world.

  • GayOldLady
  • David in Palm Springs

    Oh silly Royal Gazette, everybody knows when God gets pissed off he always adds a time delay to his wrath. So when that hurricane hits Bermuda nine months from now, God is showing his displeasure of same-sex marriage.
    The More You Know™

  • Hank

    So how long will it take the Government of Australia to FINALLY get on board??? Granted it is an independent nation, but each Prime Minister keeps fighting the inevitable, down under!!!

  • Ben in Oakland

    But god will destroy Bermuda– and century now.

  • vorpal 😼

    These haters are a little slow: SSM is now legal in over 20 countries and precisely zero of them have been smote down by the big angry invisible sky-daddy.

    But like the haters in every country who keep fear-mongering, THEIR country is super duper mega special.

    How many same-sex marriages will it take before Yahweh throws his childish hissy fit, anyway?

    • Tor

      But some birds fell out of the sky somewhere once!

    • agcons

      But, but . . . what about all the flooding in eastern Canada and the mudslides in BC, 12 years later? Gawd’s retribution, surely.

  • David Walker

    Funny how that happens…that life goes on affecting no one except those who were denied their rights.

  • Nic Peterson

    I sure am glad that a news publication finally got around to pointing out the obvious. Would have been nice if the day after Obergefel was announced major news publications ran front pagers stating that the sky had not fallen.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    As God Castiel put it….

    https://youtu.be/YX7tbhK7WRs