Alex Jones Tells Court That George Soros Is Behind Stronger Weed, Eating Chili Causes Memory Loss

Raw Story reports:

Right-wing conspiracy theorist Alex Jones on Thursday told a jury that he believes George Soros is somehow behind a plot to make the effects of smoking marijuana stronger than ever before.

As reported by BuzzFeed’s Charlie Warzel, Jones was asked about his drug and alcohol use by attorney Bobby Newman, who is representing Jones’ ex-wife Kelly in the custody battle over the couple’s three children.

During his testimony, Jones claimed that he smoked marijuana once a year to “monitor its strength,” and he claimed that its gotten progressively stronger over the years — and he thinks that George Soros is somehow involved.

  • Secure

    I saw Alex in Dallas at the fiftieth anniversary of the JFK shooting in 2013. He was sweating, and ranting and raving with a megaphone in his hand. He’s nuts.

    • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

      I heard he was the real shooter.

      • ClevelandJim

        The gassy troll on the grassy knoll…all that chili

  • SunsetGay

    The devil version of me on my shoulder wants him to lose everything, end up broke and homeless, and spend the rest of his miserable life on a cot under a highway overpass in Fresno, California.

    The better part of me hopes he gets the professional help that he so badly needs, and that he finds inner peace.

    • David Milley

      The devil version of me is also envisioning Jones living under the highway overpass, but my better angel wants to steal his cot.

    • Oh, Parker

      Yeah, my devil took over a long time ago. I have no sympathy for the deplorables.

      • SunsetGay

        Well you know that Superbowl ad from a few years ago…

        “It’s good to be bad.”

    • boatboy_srq

      No, no, no: the worst fate imaginable would be unemployed, unemployable, and subsisting in public housing on TANF and Medicaid. THAT’s the wingnut nightmare.

    • fastlanestranger

      The fact that your first story isn’t reality makes me believe I’m living in the Matrix.

      • SunsetGay

        I believe there is an alternate Universe where President Elizabeth Warren just signed single-payer healthcare into law with Vice President Kamala Harris and House Speaker Katy Perry standing behind her. Electric self-guided flying cars are everywhere. Mars has been colonized. Fossil fuels do not exist. The rent in San Francisco is the lowest in the nation.

        It all started when Bashar Al-Assad, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Trump, Ted Nugent, Mike Pence, Saddam Hussein, Herman Cain, Antonin Scalia, and the entire staff of the Family Research Council had a feces-covered orgy in Tony Perkins’ living room back in the year 2000. It was all recorded on camera and broadcast on every TV in the world

        Democrats controlled everything after that.

        • Adam King

          That’s the reality I come from! The Mandela Effect must have misplaced me here.

          • Bryan

            To think this is the future they would have wrought had half of them not asphyxiated on feces, I’ve new respect for our world. Question is, how do we get back to that iteration of time?

        • Dagoril

          Is that the Alternate Universe where Walternate and Bolivia live? 😉

    • Adam King

      I hope he gets help and sleeps peacefully on his cot under the overpass.

  • Travis Morrow

    Monitor it’s strength? Once a year? Good god. It’s like he’s lying to his parents.

    • JW Swift

      And not really coming up with very convincing lies, either.

    • Judas Peckerwood

      Also, he doesn’t inhale.

  • Adam King

    I think it’s incumbent upon Joe to invite us all out for a nice big bowl of chili every time he posts about this idiot.

  • 2guysnamedjoe

    Maybe he thinks the insanity defense works in civil cases.

    • David Milley

      Particularly helpful, I’m sure, in child custody cases.

  • Pollos Hermanos

    Soros! Drink!

    While we’re at it,

    Weed! Smoke!
    Chili! Fart!

  • Paula

    What a fucking nut.

  • April

    Is he sure he wasn’t smoking locoweed.

    • Paula

      I wish he would. That stuff is deadly. Problem solved!

      • Lars Littlefield

        My favorite loco weed, astragalus utahensis, found only in Utah. It is currently in raging, flaming bloom all over the state. ‘Tis real purdy.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/74a1c873b08c223bc5bbcd1d8b1e400eddec791f66c2e710b78b6a82dff248c8.jpg

        • That_Looks_Delicious

          The superbloom we just had in the California desert was beautiful. I saw an article today that said it could be seen from space.

          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d907b3e77dee8af7377c556919e6e9236ef37a7dec58a1b5193c291a7e270ae4.png

        • Paula

          Here’s our local variation, Pretty deadly stuff. This is Jimson Weed (Datura stramonium). About 15 years ago, there was a rash of deaths and hospitalizations, mostly from teens trying to get high, from smoking Jimson Weed. The city started a big education program against it and I haven’t heard of any deaths in a while.
          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/757797c64c08b457f411ef24e1bdf5060fe4982879a59349a53d2f02b9c1a181.jpg

          • Lars Littlefield

            That’s not only Jimpson Weed, that’s datura metaloides. It’s native to the Colorado Plateau as well. I cultivate large stands of it along my drive way. The evening fragrance is stunning. In my younger years I’d pluck blossoms and use them as champagne glasses at my dinner parties. There was just enough of atropine, hyoscine (scopolamine), and hyoscyamine to cause a gentle buzz. It’s really a wonderful display plant. And despite what you may hear from cattlemen, cows and sheep are too smart to even thing about eating it. I tried a tea made from it’s cousin, datura inoxia. It left me technically blind for about three days. I couldn’t read or make out small objects because my eyes were so dilated. I recovered, and luckily no kidney damage. And that was when I was young and more foolish than I am now. It’s an important part of the local desert ecosystems and a big source of food for insect pollinators. It attracts Hawks Moths as big as Buicks.

          • Lars Littlefield

            Yes. That is D. stramonium. At first I thought it was D. metaloides, which has lighter green/gray leaves. Both are native to the southwest. I have giant, vining daturas in huge pots in my green house. They have pastel pink and yellow blooms. Smell wonderful.

  • Pollos Hermanos

    Why would any woman ever want to divorce a prize like that?

    • Lars Littlefield

      I know! He’s a keeper!

      • Richard, another Canuck

        To be kept locked up and sedated. A few milligrams of respiradone twice a day might help.

        • Charlenejrowe

          Managing director of Google!, is explaining to users to start off “Work at home” method, that People have been doing for about one year now. These days alone, I generated close to $36,000 until now with no more than my home computer as well as some spare time, despite that i have a fulltime 9 to 5 job. Even everyone not used to this, can make $89/per h easily and the earnings can go even higher over time… This is how i started
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    • Todd20036

      Why would anyone marry him in the first place? Except maybe for money

      • WICKET99

        I’d rather live on the street & collect cans for a living.

        • His Holy Sh1t the Donald

          I’m a bit surprised he cared that much about custody of the kids

          • boatboy_srq

            It’s all about the property rights donchano.

          • DesertSun59

            He clearly doesn’t. It’s about power and control for him.

      • JW Swift

        She didn’t just marry him, she let him impregnate her at least three times. (Ew.)

    • LovesIrony

      why would any jury member think he should have care of any child?

      • The hell? Sarah Palin makes more sense when she talks.

        • Falconlights

          You know things are really bad when Sarah Palin makes more sense than Alex Jones. SMDH

  • Rebecca Gardner

    He’s completely insane.

    • SoCalGal20

      But his lawyer claimed last week that was just a “character” he plays on the radio.

      • KnownDonorDad

        Even if he were doing a Stephen Colbert-style bit, the jokes just aren’t funny.

    • Mom’s uncle Max in north Miami who passed away a few years ago was convinced he had a long term affair with Lena Horne. He had newspaper clippings of her pasted all over his walls. He was really crazy. He also thought he was knighted by Queen Elizabeth for inventing the Atomic Bomb. It’s all relative.

  • PickyPecker
  • bambinoitaliano
  • Bluto
    • KnownDonorDad

      Him, Steve Bannon, Steven Miller…

  • Lars Littlefield

    I suspect if we tell Alex that the reason white people call Worcestershire sauce bug juice is because it’s made from bugs, he’d go ballistic.

    • Tor

      Many people don’t know it actually contains anchovies.

      • Thanks for that. I was getting ready to puke because Mom likes to cook with it and I think we had it in the Teriyaki Steak last night. Anchovies I can handle.

        • Tor

          I learned that when I once came across “vegetarian Worcestershire” sauce. I had to look it up.

          • I like to make Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix — the kind they sell at Publix for like 69 cents a box. And they were selling a new kind called “vegetarian” and I realized that I have been making the kind that had beef lard and other animal fat in it for years. Now, that is sickening. I have to learn to read ingredients better.

          • Lars Littlefield

            There is a famous Mexican restaurant in SLC called The Red Iguana. The Cardenas family started it in the 70s after they illegally came to the US. About 20 years ago, after they’d made their multiple millions of dollars, they left and retired back in Mexico leaving the restaurant in the hands of their grandchildren.

            A bunch of us from work went there at least twice a week for lunch. Our blonde Suzy Creamcheese secretary started to come along. One day she said to the wait staff, “Your refried beans are the most delicious I’ve ever eaten. What’s your secret?” The waitress replied, “We use real lard.”

            That was all she wrote. Our secretary became green and had to leave the table never to return. She also never returned to the Red Iguana, despite having previously eaten there too many times to count, agreeing that it was the best Mex restaurant in the state. However, our famously devout hard line vegetarian landscape architect didn’t let it phase him. He claimed that he always new they contained lard, but they were too delicious to complain about it. 🙂

          • Bj Lincoln

            Ha Ha Ha! That is a great story! Thanks.

          • That_Looks_Delicious

            My grandma made the most delicious crepes I’ve ever tasted. She would use a cast iron pan and lightly brush it with lard. She also put just a little bit of 7-Up in the batter. Those crepes were amazing.

          • Adam King

            I like lard.

        • Lars Littlefield

          You can’t make a good Bloody Mary without it (that and fresh horse radish, black pepper, garlic salt, celery stalk, and genuine love). 🙂

          • Helen Damnation 🍑™

            All of that plus Clamato equals the best Bloody Mary ever!

          • Lars Littlefield

            Hmmmmm . . . . Clamato. To be honest, I’ve never tried it. Now I will.

          • Helen Damnation 🍑™

            The clam broth in the Clamato gives a umami richness that surpasses plain tomato juice, by far. You’ll love it.

          • there’s Clamato, and then there is the hard way. i was a bartender for many years. Clamato is something people love and respond to, but the hand made sort of BM mix is an art form that is worth the trouble. there are some tricks.

            the bottom line is that vodka has no flavor. so you’re the chef, the person making the drink. if you work in some hole in the wall and just pour clamato and tomato juice and a spruce of lime, that’s one thing.

            but the connoisseur enjoys something else. i enjoy making the latter, for my friends.

          • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

            There used to be a great bar in the Haight that had great Bloody Mary’s. If I remember right they were called, everything but the kitchen sink, and it was practically a complete meal in a highball! 🙂

          • Lars Littlefield

            I’ve used left over gazpacho for Bloody Marys. I made a big batch of very good authentic gazpacho thinking my partner would like it. He didn’t. There is no tradition of cold soup in Mexico, so he wouldn’t eat it. A few days later he was enjoying the exact same batch of gazpacho after I put it through the blender and added sufficient vodka and ice. Go figure. 🙂

          • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

            Gotta have standards I tells ya!

      • So it’s like western fish sauce basically

        • Bj Lincoln

          Salty with a little heat and not fishy at all.

      • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

        OH MY GOD!!! ANCHOVIES ARE BUGS?

        • Tor

          I guess now they are.!!

          • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

            It’s on the internet so it must be true.

    • Bj Lincoln

      I never heard ‘bug juice’ . I was told it was often called ‘black sauce’. My mother taught me to say it properly.

      • Lars Littlefield

        It sort of depends. I thought it was something only my father liked to say to make us sick at the dinner table. Since then, I’ve heard it called bug juice by people as disparate as Jackman Main, Taos, NM, Los Angeles and Seattle. A few Londoners, too.

        • Bj Lincoln

          Funny how words travel.

      • Sissy Spacedout

        I loved mispronouncing it for my mum. 🙂

        Wor Cester Shire Sauce.

        • Bj Lincoln

          WhatsThisHereSauce. All together and kind of mumbly. LOL

          • Sissy Spacedout

            If they wanted to call it wooster sauce they’d have spelled it that way. 🙂

    • KnownDonorDad

      I grew up hearing Kool-Aid (or at least the generic knock-offs) called “bug juice”…appropriate for Jones.

    • Adam King

      Never heard it called that.

    • perversatile

      I’ll pretty much listen to anything Simon talks about…
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxENnlHOaj8

      • Lars Littlefield

        Garum. I knew that! Honest engine. I did! 😉

  • Outlaw Woman

    The man is definitely in a precarious position …

    A) try to behave rationally, claim his psychotic kookiness is all an act, and maintain custody of his children while alienating his equally kooky audience, or …

    B) give into his kookiness, maintain his career, but destroy any chance he has of custody.

    There is no middle course, it’s one way or the other.

    • djcoastermark

      Something tells me the kids are not important in any way to him other than the fact he wants to carry the Almighty Stick and will do anything to crush his ex. Whatever it takes for him, he’ll do, and still won’t loose his beloved choir.

      • Bj Lincoln

        I agree. I feel for the kids. They would know the real man better than anyone and they must be suffering from the stress and tension in the house. They will grow up with the stigma of being his kids. They are the real victims of his behavior.

        • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

          There’s a strong likelihood they don’t even comprehend what he’s doing to them. When you live in your own shit, it just doesn’t stink the same.

      • Todd20036

        Yup. To him the kids are property, or even a way to hurt his ex. He could not really give a crap about them personally

    • boatboy_srq

      Recall that to the Reichwingers, women and children are property, and reread those options. B is the choice: the only reason A is there is that he listened to his attorney for a while. And WHEN he loses, he’ll just go back to his audience with yet another tale of activist judges and uppity wimmins.

      • Adam King

        And evil lawyers who are in on all the plots.

        • boatboy_srq

          Added plus if his defense counsel is Jewish.

    • Sean Williams

      Oh he’s building an insanity defense for much larger things coming up.

      • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

        It’s not like he really needs to try.

  • Bj Lincoln

    That is not how one gets custody of the kids. He might get supervised visitation once a month only because he is their father.

    • Oh, Parker

      If he’s even that. The roids and crazy talk might be covering up for the fact that he’s a cuck.

      • Todd20036

        Aren’t steroids supposed to make you look… muscular?

        He looks like he’s never even seen the inside of a gym

        • MonochromeMouse

          You still have to work out for steroids to make you look muscular, if you don’t ever exercise while taking steroids it makes you look fat.

        • Adam King

          Nobody told him about the working out part.

          • Todd20036

            LOL. I thought that was a given if you actually took steroids.

            He looks terrible. For me, when it comes to the physique, bigger isn’t better.

            Defined is better. Proportionate is better. But heck, my waist is probably smaller than his wrist.

        • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

          I’ll bet he’s a frequent visitor to the icebox though.

    • Jukesgrrl

      He already HAS custody of the kids. Full-time. Nowhere do I read the reason why. She divorced him in 2015 and didn’t ask for custody then? Do they WANT to live with him? Why is this trial being covered without any background?

  • Ragnar Lothbrok
  • Mark Née Fuzz

    Forgetting that one should not trust a chili fart does not support that theory. There is no connection between chili and memory loss.

    • KCMC

      perhaps depending on where one’s head is lodged.

  • JWC

    I thot the courts found him bat shir crazy

  • Xuuths

    They need to constantly remind him “you’re under oath, and the penalty of perjury is a felony.”

  • KCMC
    • Todd20036

      Striking face!

      • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

        Skeet Ulrich always presses the right buttons!

  • Oh, Parker

    Who didn’t see this crack-up coming?

  • That_Looks_Delicious
    • KCMC

      needs audio.

    • Tor

      Cute eyes. Kinda like Michele’s.

  • Alex Jones is what you get when you say mediocre conservative opinions are as valid as anyone else.

  • Ninja0980

    That doctor who stated he had a personality disorder seems to be right on the money doesn’t he?

  • Lazycrockett

    George Soros is my favorite sugar daddy.

  • KCMC
  • barrixines
  • Matt

    Simply too stupid for words.

    • Helen Damnation 🍑™

      Not so stupid as to making so much money he has to pay his ex-wife $48k a month. I know, I was shocked. And dismayed.

      • wow. i need to marry and divorce a fat fucking slob like that. $48K/mo? srsly, i’d fuck that for six months, if that were on the other end. for life?

        damn. bitch has me beat, that’s clear. i just make people love me.

        • Rillion

          Nah, you won’t get shit for only being married six months. You need kids and a long term marriage (usually ten years or longer) to get any serious money.

        • Tor

          I’m right with you cd. I’d fuck whatever for that kind of settlement.

  • i really hate it when all the fun threads about pot come up, and i don’t have any, dammit.

    soros is making my weed more powerful? thanks, dood! quality is job one, you know what i mean.

    now this chili memory thing… i’m going to have to work on that one. are we talking bean chili, or the sort that is only meat? do the fancy kinds count, or are those separate dishes? chili is an art form, and you can get into with artists who make it for many hours, about which sort is best. in this sense i’m merely a consumer, and await all offerings with relish.

    • Tor

      Relax. It’s the cilantro.

  • Well, if nothing else his kids shouldn’t have to worry about being stuck with him much longer.

    • Silver Badger

      Or seeing him unsupervised.

  • Texndoc

    Alex Jones is nothing but a political Robert Tilton, who some may know as “Pastor Gas” of YouTube fame. He’s simply an act for money. He’s under oath, I would only accept “Of course I smoke pot, I live in Austin” if I was this judge.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7e6a18776487a01c714b672f37a89a359f971c308c671396e25d5ac5ab86325d.jpg

    • Helen Damnation 🍑™

      He’s fun to watch, if you’re at least as sick in the head as I am.

      • Tor

        I trust I am as sick as you are but I am not going to waste one second on that fucker.

  • Most sane people can fake being batshit insane. The opposite is nearly never true.

    • jimbo65

      And this guy let this inner dialogue spill out of his head? During a custody case? I know I shouldn’t be laughing. But it’s Alex Jones. Lol

      • Tor

        Oops. Did I say that out loud?

  • Joe in PA
  • Halou

    Just once a year?

    • Mike_in_the_Tundra

      I couldn’t find the word” just” or “only”.

    • andrew

      “To monitor it’s strength.” LOL.

  • jm2

    yesterday or the day before there was a story of some psychotherapist diagnosing him as narcissistic. with this I think it’s safe to say he’s just feckin’ nuts!

  • theonlyseven

    It’s like he’s a character on South Park.

  • theonlyseven

    What are these clowns going to do when Soros kicks? It’s going to happen sooner than later. Who will they blame everything on then?

    • Silver Badger

      President Obama. The Pope. Democrats.

  • Richard, another Canuck

    Paranoid schizophrenic, delusional disorder. No way he should have custody and if visitation is granted, it should be supervised.

  • CatApostrophe

    Guh. I bet that one time a year he smokes weed, he’s that guy who can’t stop talking about how high he is…

    • Tor

      check the date, today.

  • margaretpoa

    Oh, he’s so going to lose custody of those children.

    • -M-

      I certainly hope so. For everyone’s sake.

      • Tor

        Especially the children’s.

  • Dan M

    Can we import that crocodile that ate that big game hunter that was reported earlier.

    • Tor

      Unfortunately, it sounds as if they (two crocs) were murdered, too.

  • JWC

    O/T was it just me or was this not the usual crazy day Not a lot from Trump Spicer Russia Korea Hate it when the kids are this quiet

    • His Holy Sh1t the Donald

      quiet before a storm…

      How many carrier groups will he lose next?

      • JWC

        and missles and airplanes and bombs and countries names

  • unclemike

    PLEASE ask him about the lizard people.

  • boatboy_srq

    So, if Jones smokes a more-potent-than-last-year joint, then gets munchies and eats a bowl of chili, would he remember either one?

    • Tor

      What a perfect sequence of logic.

  • Spray on abs

    He obviously hasn’t smoked enough marijuana.

  • fuzzybits
  • leastyebejudged

    hard working cultivators have made medical grade marijuana possible, he’s a real bastard for usurping credit to them that they’ve earned.

  • Crow on a Top Hat

    It all makes sense now! Soros has been using chilli to keep people from claiming all that protest money he owes!

  • JCF

    Today Alex Jones testified in court that “George Soros has brain damaged a lot of people”

    I swear, “George Soros” has become the new (RWNJ) version of the Oogie Boogie Man!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UU8ja3QceHU

  • Gregory In Seattle

    I would love to be on that jury, sounds very entertaining.

    • Charlenejrowe

      Managing director of Google!, is explaining to users to start off “Work at home” method, that People have been doing for about one year now. These days alone, I generated close to $36,000 until now with no more than my home computer as well as some spare time, despite that i have a fulltime 9 to 5 job. Even everyone not used to this, can make $89/per h easily and the earnings can go even higher over time… This is how i started
      !wr262c:
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  • Charlenejrowe

    Managing director of Google!, is explaining to users to start off “Work at home” method, that People have been doing for about one year now. These days alone, I generated close to $36,000 until now with no more than my home computer as well as some spare time, despite that i have a fulltime 9 to 5 job. Even everyone not used to this, can make $89/per h easily and the earnings can go even higher over time… This is how i started
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  • Falconlights

    Man, this idiot is WAY beyond a 72-hour 5150. We’re talking lifetime committal here.

  • Piona O.

    is it possible that this loony will both lose his children and be sent into a hospital for observation?

  • Yikes.

  • Superman

    Can you imagine being a child with Alex Jones for a father. I think he’s crazy. She’s smart to take her children and get away.

  • Dagoril

    Christ if any judge awards custody of children to this loon, he should have his own head examined. Jones is even battier than I had thought!

  • Gerry Fisher

    …aaand this guy thinks he should get custody of kids?

    • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

      Which ones? The ones from Earth or the triplets on planet Asshole?

  • DesertSun59

    So, Alex Jones believes he needs to do what the police do as a matter of course. If that flies, then everyone who smokes pot can claim the exact same thing. Everyone is merely ‘testing’ its effects.

  • sfmike64

    She’s taking Ivana’s advice…”Don’t get mad…..get EVERYTHING.”

  • Piona O.

    I suspect he got that backwards. Strong weed is behind memory loss, and George Soros is behind spicy chili.