Colbert: So Here’s Putin As A Gay Clown [VIDEO]

Earlier this week Russia’s Ministry of Justice announced that it has banned an image of Vladimir Putin in heavy makeup, although they did not specify which of the countless such memes is the banned one. Some media outlets have characterized the move as banning the depiction of Putin as a “gay clown” – setting up last night’s bit from Stephen Colbert. Watch below.

  • Trevor Brown

    Oh my…

  • Michael R
    • TuuxKabin

      Well, as a Dick, he should know.

      • StephaniePerry111

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    • Captain Jack

      Has there ever been a mrs putin?

      • Nychta

        Yes, they were divorced in 2014.
        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lyudmila_Putina

        • narutomania

          At least he only divorced her. You know, as opposed to her falling down a flight of stairs. On accident. Or dying after a mysterious weekend illness.

      • Jeff D

        Putin also has a daughter. Which means he knows how to get his wife artificially inseminated. Though in his case, instead of using a turkey baster, he used one of those clown horns with the big red rubber bulb you squeeze to honk it.

        • Jeff D

          Either that, or the squirting lapel flower.

        • Oh’behr

          Question is, was it really even his sperm. I think Russians should demand a DNA test just to be sure the Clown photos aren’t justified. (I hope he’s not on our team though).

    • hudson11

      forgive my shallowness, but yours always makes me wish for scalable avatars. they’re much too tiny.

      • Acronym Jim

        Pssst: clicking “full profile” helps a bit.

      • You’re forgiven

  • Bj Lincoln

    That was great! It is going to piss off a lot of people. Good.

  • Guest
    • ColdCountry

      i think Putin looks kinda good in that picture. Kinda sorta. Maybe. As much as can be. (There’s a comment for the grammar nazis!)

    • Dean

      So Putin has tiny hands as well?

    • Macbill

      How delicate are their hands!

    • Acronym Jim

      “Two dictators, one cup.”

  • vorpal

    I don’t think Putin knows how the internet works.
    Putin: Nyet to gay clown pictures of me.
    Internet: DA! Here are eight billion gay clown pics of you!

    He’s going to throw the entire internet out of balance, which everyone knows is for two things precisely: porn, and cat pics.

    • Ernest Endevor

      And correcting other people’s grammar.

      • Skokieguy [Larry]
        • TuuxKabin

          You can pull me over anytime, ossifer.

          • Skokieguy [Larry]

            Is that a dangling participle in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

          • TuuxKabin

            Ya’ gon’ have to lean me over the hood n’ frisk me. If ya’ know what I mean.

            Been watching the show here, not commenting much, but since it’s the weekend . . . and this a ‘happy thread.’

          • Skokieguy [Larry]

            Agreed, nice when we can have fun talking about something other than the imminent nuclear annihilation of the planet.

            Sunshine and rainbows!

          • Oh’behr

            I agree. Thanks [Larry]. Yay! JMG’ers!

        • Ernest Endevor

          I think you’ll find (an English construction meaning ‘You are so wrong “) that I have truncated the sentence to add emphasis. But then I find that comments more closely adhere to the grammar of the spoken than the written word, don’t you?

          • Skokieguy [Larry]

            I am a big fan of writing conversationally, as I think that increases comprehension.

            But some of the amusement of internet grammar police is when the correct something and don’t use proper grammar (or spelling) in the condescending correction. Hence my snark tag. I think what you wrote is just fine.

          • vorpal

            One of my favourite sentences read online so many times, usually written by conservative Christians, is:

            “Your so stupid!!!”

          • TuuxKabin

            Almost a ‘complimentary closing.’

          • olandp

            Why, I didn’t know I had a “so”. Whatever might it be?

          • vorpal

            Sloppy Orifice?
            Sad Ostrich?
            Seared Omelet?
            Squeaky Organ?
            Sexy Optometrist?

            The possibilities are finite but there are just so damn many of them!

          • Lumpy Gaga

            The downside to Sexy Optometrist is that he’s either too close to get a look at the whole package, or too far away to see anything but a blur.

          • vorpal

            The balls of yours that he’s obsessed with may not be the ones you’re hoping for.

          • Oh! How about the ones who say….
            Your a waist of time!1!1!”

          • JCF

            And don’t forget…

            Looser!

          • Oh yes, one of my very favorites!

          • Richard, another Canuck

            sounds like a song we all know. “Your so vein.”

          • mark99k

            My recent cringe-fave is a misspelling/misphrasing that’s being repeated often enough to imply it’s part of a talking points memo: “the media is bias!”

          • Ernest Endevor

            I was kidding you.Being Brit, though I’ve lived in the US for years I’m still confused by the differences in usage.

          • vorpal

            Being a dual Canadian / US citizen who grew up in Canada but now works for an international organization that is predominantly US-owned, when it comes to writing words like colo[u]r in documents, I become paralyzed and need a sick day.

          • Ernest Endevor

            Toward: towards. Ring a/round. Go lay down. Etc. I rely on Garner’s Modern American Usage.

          • Acronym Jim

            You’ve always got angry online idiots to tell you that “color” is NOT spelled with an “ou.” It’s spelled “culler.”

          • In elementary school I read and re-read a series of books written in the UK. Problem is their spelling was absorbed into my feeble spelling brain over the American version. I actually won an argument with a teacher when I showed her I was spelling it “correctly” just not for the here….

          • vorpal

            It’s even more confusing when you’re a Canadian, as it’s halfway between British and American English.

            For example, analyze instead of analyse.
            And, of course, colour instead of color.

            I’ve had a few Brits and Americans tell me to just pick an English and stick with it, to which I reply, “I HAVE: Canadian English!”

            What series of books, out of curiosity?

          • Jerry

            And then there’s British pronunciation: A few years ago at a party, while talking with a couple Brits, I went on a pronunciation riff when one of them used the word “SHedule”. Me: “Shedule? Shedule? What is this crazy ‘SHismatic’ ‘SHeme?’ I don’t think that’s the pronunciation I learned in ‘SHool’, or maybe I dreamed it while sailing on my ‘SHooner’.”

            They laughed and asked if I was quite finished, and I held up a finger and said, “Whatever the correct pronunciation, hearing two versions of a language while inebriated makes one feel somewhat ‘SHit-zophrenic’.”

          • Oh’behr

            That’s excellent, Jerry. Thanks for making me laugh for minutes.

          • Jerry

            I doubt if I would’ve been that quick if I had been sober.

          • Oh’behr

            That also made me laugh. I understand.

          • vorpal

            You know what drives me NUTS (in a bad way)?

            People who pronounce “puberty” as “poo-berty.”
            No. No. No. No. No.

          • Oh’behr

            Ruh roh. I used to do it until I learned the correct way of saying it. (Blushing).

          • Jerry

            That’s up there with noocular.

          • Roald Dahl, Charles Dickens, Agatha Christie. I was devouring books so quickly the librarian handed me David Copperfield. It was a struggle at first but then, zooom! A love affair I’ve yet to outgrow.

          • Many moons ago, I was a consultant for the government of the NW Territories after the big oil boom had hit there. There was a scandal at the time, about Natives of the NW Territories wouldn’t be hired to work, but employees from the southern provinces would be flown in to do the jobs. I went to a community meeting in Yellow Knife, where the oil company “made it right.” They declared that anyone who had spent an accumulated six months (i.e., you could have spent 2 months over three years) was a citizen of the NW Territories.” I turned to the linguist for the government of the NWT and said, “Looks like I’m a citizen of the NWT.” Over the years, whenever I would keynote a conference in Canada and they would have attendees break into regional groups, I would always be loyal to my NWT “roots” and attend that caucus.

          • UrsusArctos

            A REAL Canajun would use color and add a sarcastic “Sorry”. *grin*

          • vorpal

            True story:

            It never occurred to anyone in our programming team that anybody might set their computer locale to something other than American English, and thus, since locale environment variables carry over in UNIX, whenever I – with my Canadian English locale – connected to the remote machine to start server programs, everything would fail and nobody had any idea why.

            It took us a day to figure it out. Now I have to use a special script to temporarily switch my locale to American English just to connect to the remote machine. Ugh.

            We could just fix the problem, but that would be TOO easy :-).

          • Oh’behr

            Though I love many of the Canadian and British spellings.

            And Canadian words for things. I can think of only two now.
            Toque (winter hat). Davenport (for couch).

            I also love the British saying aluminum.
            And behaviour. instead of USA behavior.

            Though don’t get me started on Ozzie speak.
            I cannot follow it (especially the slang).

            Thankfully, when it was suggested, US English also didn’t dumb down (simplify) for spellings. I think it looks goofy.

            One example: 1906 Siimplified Spelling Board

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simplified_Spelling_Board

          • vorpal

            LOL I have never, ever in my life heard a Canadian say the word “Davenport”, although my husband’s grandparents in Idaho used that word.

            As for Aussie speak, I watch a lot of cooking TV competitions from Australia, as the versions of things like Masterchef seem to be the best there: the focus is actually on cooking and celebrating food, instead of the American version, which is all about absurd drama and trying to bring out the nastiness in all the competitors.

            LOL a couple seasons ago, there was a contestant called Renae on Masterchef Australia, and the judges always had to SHRIEK her name: RENNNNNAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!

            That has become a big joke amongst hubby and I. Every time I am now watching any Australian TV show, he asks, “Is RENNNNNAYYYYYYY winning?” and every time I go watch an Aussie show, I have to say, “I’m going to go spend some time with RENNNNAYYYYYYY!”

            Yes, we are stupid. ๐Ÿ˜€

            I had actually never heard of the Simplified Spelling Board. These kinds of things seem silly to me. I’ve ranted about it before, but what I find incredibly ridiculous is the simplification of Chinese characters: it was supposed to increase literacy rates, but students still had to learn all the traditional forms to be able to read classical literature, and with computers, people seldom write Chinese characters by hand anymore anyway, so a 25 stroke character isn’t an issue.

          • Oh’behr

            Thanks Vorpal. Davenport then is antiquated. Got it.
            I have some quaint notion of Canada I must have learned from watching some Canadian film as a child or teen and hearing the word.

            I you and your hubby’s Renae. That’s very funny. I also think I would like Australian cooking shows better as I like fun (celebrating food) and cooking food rather than USA drama and nasty competition. Reminds me of high school. Ugh.

            I hated learning (with peers) until I got to college and found my niche and got away from people who didn’t really want to learn.

            Sorry, didn’t mean to tell you my life story. Sob. (teasing).
            I think we’ve all been there to a degree. High school sucked a bit (or a lot).

            Fascinating about Chinese characters being simplified. Now I want to go on and read more … thank you.

          • I can never understand why one of the British dialects need to insert an “ro’ at the end of a vowel, so I keep hearing BBC reporters saying things like “Obamer” in stead of “Obama.”

          • leDaver

            It’s not confusing, really. First there was English. Now there is “English” and “American” English. The part of the world you live in tends to determine which one you use. I grew up in Canada at a time when the American spelling was considered incorrect. I still feel that way, but I don’t think anyone much cares anymore in this country, given that our culture is so heavily influenced by American culture.

          • Ernest Endevor

            It’s usage more than spell-check. I still find myself hopelessly enBritoned unless I make a conscious effort to write in American.

        • Lumpy Gaga

          Whoops. Coke for Skoke.

      • vorpal
      • William

        All that red pen on my screen got messy.

        • hudson11

          i prefer white out

          • Oh’behr

            It gets expensive tossing out computer screens and starting over.

      • Lumpy Gaga

        You call that a sentence?

        • Ernest Endevor

          I call it a remark that imitates spoken English. So yes, I do.

    • KCMC
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        • vorpal

          The cat equivalent of a clown car.

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  • olandp
    • TuuxKabin

      A story like that I’d quickly try to forget. The reporter was murdered. Gad zooks. The man’s evil personified.

    • Bj Lincoln

      I remember this. I think it was spontaneous. I love blowing bubbles on a little ones belly. The parent saw it as a sign of affection and that was the end of it. While I don’t support this unconventional political act of ‘kissing the baby’, it does see to be harmless.

      • TuuxKabin

        I love blowing bubbles on anyone’s belly, as long as they’re willing. Huge bubbles. Maybe it’s an ‘Orthodox’ thing. Tummy bubble blowing.

      • olandp

        I understand it as a sign of affection, but to a total stranger? The boy does remember it fondly though.

  • Tiger Quinn

    I’m not a fan of our flag or sexuality being used to zing Putin. The man has people murdered. I think there are other issues to work with.

    • ColdCountry

      I can see your point, but I think that it’s a totally human, though perhaps immature, reaction that if you find something that annoys someone whom you dislike, and against whom you have few if no avenues of airing or resolving your grievances, you pounce on that thing and pursue it for all it’s worth,

    • ByronK

      He brought it on himself with the absurd ban so I don’t have a problem with it being exploited. I do wonder if the humour, however, overshadows the very scary issue of a government having a list of images that are illegal let alone one that won’t let transsexuals drive. Lord knows if Trump could ban certain images he would. I bet Putin doesn’t have to go to court to unmask people on Twitter. If they even allow Twitter.

  • pepรณn

    O/T If you read German, read the latest infos about Chchenya. Looks like it’s even worse that thought before. ๐Ÿ™

    http://www.queer.de/detail.php?article_id=28582

  • greenmanTN

    Interesting. The one thing neither Putin or Trump can stand is mockery.

  • Johnny Wyeknot

    No. Just no. And fuck you, Colbert.

  • Acronym Jim

    Nancy Flagenblock is sure busy today.

  • Hue-Man

    Putin stories always make me think of the French spelling of his name. Here’s a recent headline:
    La relation Trump-Poutine au dรฉfi de la Syrie
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9b837ddc7c49ba9fcfc7b3571adf7561c1e92db2c8ab9c5204772407c878787a.jpg

    • vstill

      Isn’t “poutine” the word often heard during moaning exclamations in French gay porn scenes? I’m asking out of curiosity if anyone knows what I’m referring.

      • swimboy

        Sorry, all I can remember is “Oui! Oui!” right after “Mon dieu! C’est รฉnorme!”

        • Ray Taylor

          I wish Google Trans had a male voice.

      • askDominick

        That’s “putain” which means “whore” but is widely used as an exclamatory.

  • Natty Enquirer

    Putin is so GAY!

    Yeah, that’s really progressive humor.

    • greenmanTN

      I don’t have a problem with it. The gay Putin image was created by gay activists to mock Putin/Russia’s extremely homophobic laws and rhetoric. Unable to stand mockery Putin has the image outlawed. Long-time gay ally Colbert doubles down on it by producing this segment. The joke isn’t “He-he, Putin is SO gay!” it’s “Putin can’t is so touchy he outlawed this image of himself as gay, so here’s some More!”

      FFWD to 1:59
      https://youtu.be/sbyhbLR0u0A

      • KCMC

        Dayumn. What a kissssssssssssss!!!

  • Paul Michael
  • Raising_Rlyeh
  • BeaverTales

    That’s not a gay clown! That’s a mime!

    Sorry, honey….I know my gay clowns. Way more fabulous than that piece o’ wreckage… Are there laws against Putin being a mime?

  • fuzzybits
  • Suzannersteadman

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