Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos Channels Ellen Ripley [VIDEO]

Get away from her, Amazon! Via Gizmodo:

What would you do if you were a billionaire? Elon Musk is trying to get to Mars. Peter Thiel wants to live forever. And Jeff Bezos, well, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos apparently wants to rule the world in a gigantic robot. At least that’s the impression you might get from the photos and video taken yesterday.

Last night at Amazon’s annual robotics conference Jeff Bezos slipped into something a bit more comfortable—a 13-foot tall robot designed by Korean company Hankook Mirae Technology. Bezos, much like his fellow tech billionaires, seems to be on the fast track to supervillain status before we’re all inevitably annihilated in a nuclear war started by one of Trump’s butt-tweets.

And you thought delivery by drones was a dumb idea.

  • Ernest Endevor

    This could be an effective way for Mr Bezos to address many of the world’s problems.

  • Jon Doh

    Does this robot make my dick look bigger?

    • Gustav2

      No, just your hands.

    • Rex

      No, but it makes your ego look HUGE!

  • Do Something Nice

    OT: Sign the petition to encourage Amazon to stop advertising on Brietbart.

    • djcoastermark

      An interesting item. If you try to go directly to Amazon chat (with a rep) to protest, and part of your text includes the word Breitbart, you are immediately disconnected.At least that is what was happening for the past 3 or 4 days. It has been documented by other groups also.

      • Snarkaholic

        What if you deliberately misspell it?

        • djcoastermark

          I tried several times with different spellings, but didn’t try some way off base spelling. Hmmm. It still seems there was some sort of topic filtering going on.

          • Snarkaholic

            Try “Shite-fart”; I’m sure they’ll know what you’re referring to.

  • Judas Peckerwood

    Screw the drones — THIS is how Amazon should be delivering packages.

    • Rex

      Not at my house, I just planted pansies.

    • pj

      just plow through the front wall

    • that arm can through a 65″ flat TV 100 yards, and hit the porch every time. Bigly

  • JVild

    “Bezos, much like his fellow tech billionaires, seems to be on the fast track to supervillain status before we’re all inevitably annihilated in a nuclear war started by one of Trump’s butt-tweets”

    He needs to print that in large, frame it and put it in his office. That’s some badass motivation, that.

  • Jake

    Get away from her you bitch!

  • Tawreos

    Please tell me I can get my own murderbot soon.

    • Snarkaholic

      I want one that dumps the contents of my cats’ litter boxes directly onto the heads of people I don’t like.

  • Gustav2

    Still playing with Transformers.

  • BobSF_94117

    Coming soon to an Amazon warehouse near you…

    • Gustav2

      Well. there goes 5 or 6 part time jobs in each warehouse.

  • Walter Maerlyn

    I’m still rooting for Bezos to launch Trump into space. The other two Trump ass-kissers can ride along.

  • HZ81

    This is a guy who fights paying his warehouse workers for time they spend in line leaving Amazon facilities while security goes through their bags and pockets.

    • EweTaw

      That’s nothing new. US Steel workers were always searched as they left their shift. Often took an hour or more to clear security. And that was in the 1940s through the 1970s. Same thing is common practice at all gold mines in Nevada. Ask anyone working for Newmont Mining Corp., Barrick Gold, Rawhide Mine, or the Coeur Rochester mine. Same thing goes on at Cirris Systems, Rio Tinto Corporate Offices, etc. Lots of places detain you long enough to search you before you can leave the property.

      • HZ81

        Amazon workers are suing for that time and I agree with them. If you’re going to hold me up to search me, you’re paying for the time.

        • EweTaw

          There is a reason for searching the employees. As unattractive as it is to admit it, “shrinkage” in warehouse and box stores, Target and Walmart, etc., is well over 20% annually. So, what solution do you have for preventing merchandise and property from walking away? My solution would be to have all employees understand the stealing, whether it’s merch or intellectual property, is bad for them because it is bad for their employer. However, folks don’t seem to understand that. What would you do?

          • Lumpy Gaga

            HZ81 is merely suggesting that this task falls under work responsibilities, and should be compensated as such.

          • HZ81

            YEAH!!!! What lumpy said! Get off my lawn, Ewe Taw! 😉

          • EweTaw


          • HZ81

            If a search on the way out is part of the job, then you can pay me for that time as part of my job— search away, but pay me. Amazon workers, at some facilities, are detained from 30, 45 minutes and more fo these searches after they’ve punched out.

            This isn’t about shrinkage or whatever the fuck anyone wants to call it.

          • EweTaw

            Then what is it about? Why do they need to search employees as they leave work? If they’re looking for D.B. Cooper, they’re not going to find him.

          • Jamie_Johnson

            They could always have the employee lounge/dressing room on one side of security and the warehouse on the other such that an employee would only wear/carry items easily and visually searched… but that would mean spending 5 cents on the employees (which won’t happen at Amazon). After all, it’s cheaper to keep a staffed ambulance on premises to deal with heat stroke when temperatures routinely exceed 100 degrees than it is to air condition the workplace.

          • Snarkaholic

            You mean naked, except for a (short apron)?
            (The women would still have twice as much ‘storage’ space as the men!)

          • Todd20036

            I get shrinkage if I’m in a pool too long.

          • PickyPecker
          • EweTaw

            True story: I was doing a temporary contract job as a consultant for Cost Plus, one of the early warehouse companies that was eventually bought out by what is now COSTCO. Our team was touring one of their warehouses and the executive leading us around said something about shrinkage. That’s the first time I’d heard the term used in a business context. So, I asked, “Excuse me, but I’m not familiar with the term “shrinkage.” What do you mean?”
            The executive broke open a pallet of Junior Mints and handed us each a box then gulped down a handful of the tiny chocolate covered mints announcing, “This is shrinkage.”

          • clay

            Where I work (not in retail), we call that “grazing”, as in
            “Wow, last night’s crew really grazed on the supply cabinet.”

          • CottonBlimp

            My solution would be to have all employees understand the stealing, whether it’s merch or intellectual property, is bad for them because it is bad for their employer.

            Because Amazon has demonstrated an eagerness to share its profits with its workers? You can’t shaft workers out of every possible cent and then expect them to believe profits for the company mean profits for them. And when you already give people the absolute bare minimum, they know perfectly well there’s nothing left for them to lose.

            I’m sorry, but shrinkage is just the cost of doing business. Big box stores have every possible economic advantage over locally owned businesses, I don’t really sympathize with their complaints here. If you want to reduce it, you can give people an actual reason to believe profits for the company benefit them, say with better pay or benefits. You can treat your workers like human beings, so they’ll be less inclined to risk losing their job by stealing. You can offer better raises, to keep good employees instead of the regular retail strategy of cycling through cheap young labor.

            None of this is an excuse to treat workers like prisoners while the CEO is building himself a robot exosuit.

          • NancyP

            Yes. I daresay that dissatisfied workers are more likely to see shoplifting a needed small item as a bit of petty revenge on the boss. And some people get those jobs specifically to pass merchandise through to the “fell off a truck” fencers – ie, organized crime. But the overwhelming majority of the shoplifting is done by the customers.

        • RaygunsGoZap

          Boss gets a dollar,
          I get a dime!
          That’s why I poop
          On company time!

          • Snarkaholic

            I would be THRILLED with that salary ratio; at my job, the average worker makes one tenth of one percent of what the CEO makes.

          • Snarkaholic

            If I got paid a dime for every dollar he makes, my salary would be 1.8 million dollars per year.

          • Todd20036

            Actually, my ultimate boss gets only 4 times I make. In theory.
            In reality, Trump grifts god knows how much.
            But he isn’t really a president. He’s a Nazi Traitor.

          • Capritaur

            Depending on which company you work for, when you count the stock options, bonuses, and any sort of severance/retirement packages they might get, the gap could be a lot bigger than salary alone.

        • Ammy0074

          <<Online Facebook job without investment so i havea great news, at present every body can win ahundred dollar to two hundred dollar per hour atyour laptop computer and android mobile phone soconstruct your future bright for a considerablemeasure of detail visit this web site withoutany charges…. this is a not a fake and not ascammer and not report this, i request chek this link every one click on Below link and get moreinformation click on page click hare down➤➤➤➤

    • RaygunsGoZap

      Ugh! I hate that. Do you have a link to a good article? I don’t mind searchjbg myself but if you’ve already done the heavy sifting….

      • HZ81

        I don’t offhand, but there was a settlement of 3.7 million or so last year, I want to say, but other cases are ongoing, to my knowledge.

  • bkmn

    So glad that hunger, homelessness, and other social problems are not a concern for him. /s

    • HZ81

      Yes, but he likes robots! It shows in his treatment of his workforce.

      • Circ09

        He is leading the way. And this is all just the first baby steps.

    • johncAtl

      Well, he and his wife did donate $2.5M to marriage equality in Washington state in 2012.

    • Capritaur

      There are many legitimate concerns about Bezos and, investment in science and technology is not one of them. Public and private effort to advance science and technology is not at the expense of social problems and should always be encouraged.

  • Capritaur

    Make love robots, not war machines.

  • another_steve

    The super-wealthy have too much time on their hands.

    • Gustav2
      • another_steve

        Ohmigod you invoked the name of the Fabulous Donna Summer. :-/

        Fellow old fairies and lezzies reading here: a question.

        What do the young ones today know of real disco?

        • Not much…heck, I’m not even sure most of them are aware it existed and was a huge thing in the mid- to late-70s. Or how it became almost universally disdained in the 80s…and then seemed to fade into obscurity, with ‘classic/progressive rock’ apparently morphing seamlessly into the ‘MTV, New Wave & Rap/Hip-hop era’.

          I miss some of those tunes from Disco, which wasn’t all bad. And yes, Donna was a goddess.

          • another_steve

            Donna, during her day, was The Queen of Disco. There was no better than The Donna.

            She lived through that period when she was accused of — and subsequently denied — dissing “the gay lifestyle.” She had found Jesus and probably did, in fact, diss the gays at one point… but we forgive her.

            We thank her for all those wonderful, fabulous tunes that made us get up and dance.

        • Mark

          There’s a local ‘high school’ radio station – and I am surprised by the amount of disco they play.

          And i still hang on to my disco 12 inchers. I burned a sizeable chunk of them into my PC – and for ~$100 you can pick up a copy of Mixmeister Studio – and beat mix until you drop.

          • another_steve

            Most of classic 1970s and 1980s disco is available on YouTube.

            When I’m feeling down, I go there.

            And remember.

  • Jon Doh

    Danger Will Robinson, Danger!

  • Lumpy Gaga

    Amazon Prime?

    • Capritaur

      You win the internet today.

      • JaniceInToronto

        With golden epaulets. (sp?)

        • Teresamcook

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !mj274d:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash274MarketSuperGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!mj274d:….,…….

  • another_steve

    O/T (and yeah… like we all need some more depressing news…)

    “Federal surveys trim LGBT questions, alarming advocates”

  • Lumpy Gaga
  • TJay229

    That movie made me fall in love with Lt. Ellen Ripley (S.Weaver). So much so, that it has remained my all time favorite series of Sci Fi…. I remember I saw it twice on opening day, in 70mm. Fabulous!

  • patrick

    You mean, Amazon – that company which adamantly refuses calls, even from many of their own employees, that the Company cease advertising on Breitbart?

  • i’m sure i’m not the first to say it 50 comments here, but people like these make me sick. literally, sick with anger. how selfish can some people be?

    so much is wrong in the world that MUST be fixed… with the money these guys are blowing on cock-sustitute toys. it’s not like any of them really earned a billion times more than say, a woman who raises children in her own home. give me a break.

    they can have the Revolution if they really want it. but they won’t like it. money is an illusion; this is the heart of most revolutions. make money meaningless (as in, only a fraction of a society has any) and you risk making that so clear, no one wants to play in your little rigged game where you always have a majority of it and don’t have to follow the same rules we do.

    the day the body politic decides to press the “reset” button on this current form of theory relating to econ/poli sci/sociology is coming. bc you guys were essentially spoiled children who failed to understand what numbers, not pieces of paper or dots on a screen, can sometimes mean.

    • Mark

      once they suck the pond dry….’more, more, more’ becomes moot point.

    • James

      Right now, this is a doubtless massively expensive experiment. But advancements based on or similar to this technology has all sorts of very practical applications. For example, robot suits like this could help people perform dangerous tasks more safely.

    • canoebum

      For such reasons the Guillotine gained great popularity. Personally, there are more than a few heads I’d like to see on pikes.

  • Acronym Jim

    That’s not channeling Ripley, it’s channeling the bad-guy general from Avatar.

  • bmoore4026
  • CottonBlimp

    From Night in the Woods, a poem by Selmers:

    There’s no reception in Possum Springs
    No reception here
    I wave my black phone
    In the air like a flare
    Like a prayer
    But no reception
    I read on the internet
    Baby face boy billionaire
    Phone app sold
    Made more money in one day
    Than my family over 100 generations
    More than my whole world ever has
    World where house buying jobs
    Became rent-paying jobs
    Became living with family jobs
    Boy billionaires
    Money is access
    Access to politicians
    Waiting for us to die
    Lead in our water
    Alcohol and painkillers
    Replace my job with an app
    Replace my dreams of a house and a yard
    With a couch in the basement
    “The future is yours!”
    Forced 24-7 entrepeneurs
    I just want a paycheck and my own life
    I’m on the couch in the basement
    They’re in the house and the yard
    Some night I will catch a bus out to the west coast
    And burn their silicon city to the ground

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    Can someone summon a kaiju to go after him?

  • He probably thought he looked like the AMP suit from Avatar. Sadly, he looks more like a cheap toy from WowWee.

  • Jeff

    Amazon ranks employees within their departments and fires the bottom 10%. Don’t get along with your boss? Too bad… The company is turning the gorgeous city of Seattle into a city of stinkers as Amazon’s way of treating people wears off on its citizenry. This native Washingtonian is happy to be many states away now.

  • Teresamcook

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !mj274d:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash274MarketSuperGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!mj274d:….,……..