Ivanka Trump Discontinues High-End Jewelry Line In Favor Of “Accessibly-Priced Solution-Oriented Products”

Because the world NEEDS an inexpensive bracelet solution. Dollar stores, here she comes! The New York Times reports:

Over the last few weeks, it seemed like Neiman Marcus could not make up its mind about whether to sell Ivanka Trump’s fine jewelry. The brand’s baubles disappeared, reappeared and then disappeared again from the department store’s website. But now, Neiman Marcus won’t have much of a choice. Ms. Trump’s brand has discontinued its line of high-end bracelets, necklaces and rings, the company confirmed on Monday. Instead, it will focus on more affordable fashion jewelry, according to Abigail Klem, the president of Ms. Trump’s brand.

In a statement, Ms. Klem attributed the decision to the company’s “commitment to offering solution-oriented products at accessible price points.” She did not mention Neiman Marcus, or any of the other retailers that had recently backed away from carrying Ms. Trump’s increasingly politicized products.

Ms. Trump’s shoes, handbags and clothing lines have become targets for both supporters and detractors of her father, President Trump, in his political rise to the White House. Many shoppers have rallied behind Grab Your Wallet, a largely grass-roots movement to boycott companies associated with the Trump name. Some companies, like Nordstrom and T.J. Maxx, have pulled back from promoting Ms. Trump’s brand.

  • Joe in PA

    solution-oriented products…

    WTF?

    • Tawreos

      The solution is to whore out the Trump name for all the money they can possibly get.

      • Gene

        key words “whore out”

    • Gustav2

      Sounds like the language used by every consultant we listened to at every business eventually downsized, or closed.

      Edit: Sounds like I am an expert on failing businesses!

      • Joe in PA

        You forgot Synergy! Luckily I’ve been out of that game for a long time…but interestingly enough I still have anxious dreams about it. Ugh.

    • Ms Phlegm, I mean Ms Klem, is one of these marketing drones that talk a load of bullshit that makes her sound intelligent but like Ivanka just another clone like a Disney Channel reject with ultra white teeth. Meow.

      • Chuck in NYC

        Yup, and after the blow-back on this, if she’s got an ounce of sense, she’ll be engaging the services of an executive placement agency.

    • Snarkaholic

      Zyklon B?

      • Joe in PA

        The things you learn on JMG…I googled…oh my.

  • Mike C

    Wow. We got “access” to heathcare and ugly ass baubles in the same week. We are SO great again.

  • Sam_Handwich

    i’m in the market for some solution oriented bling

  • Tawreos

    She is going to put out a product priced in such a way that those who still like her father can still purchase. It is too bad she couldn’t produce something that people with taste and money would want.

    • and when they can’t afford health care anymore, they’ll be told, “well don’t be buying that ivanka decorated iphone! that’s money that would’ve paid for your cancer treatments, you undeserving serf. “

      • Tawreos

        Like they would really talk to the peasants.

  • Sashineb

    Well, so much for KellyAnne CONway’s endorsements.

    • kareemachan

      That was like the kiss of death….

  • Ernest Endevor

    aka, Cheap Chinese Shit.

    • Sean Williams

      Yes, I think she meant Oriental, not oriented.

      • clay

        But she was scared of Tammy Duckworth.

    • Olive Yurdic

      … solution-orientAL products …

  • Gay Fordham Prep Grad

    Who’s going to carry it? Or is it straight to Marshalls?

    • E.J.

      Big Lots, Marshalls is too classy for that crap.

  • FAEN

    Um you shouldn’t be selling ANYTHING as the first daughter you money grubbing freak.

    • clay

      I’m picturing a scene like Chinatown:
      “First Lady first daughter first lady first daught- “

      • FAEN

        LMAO! Touché.

  • Princess Lardass

    As long as she continues to sell “Complicit.”

  • TK

    Translation: Something Trumpians can afford. Tin and colored glass. Won’t tarnish while wearing it around their fat sweaty necks…solution-oriented.

    • Olive Yurdic

      More appealing to the WalMart crowd

    • Todd20036

      The people wealthy enough to buy her stuff either thinks it’s crap or doesn’t want to be associated with Ivanka. Or both.

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    • MonochromeMouse

      The secret is: that’s what all her jewelry was really made of all along, they just know they can’t keep marking the price up and have it sell now that the trump brand has been poisoned by daddy shitting all over the white house.

  • TheThruster

    That’s a lot of fancy words for “WTF IS HAPPENING TO MY BRAND?”

  • billbear1961

    She’s . . . complicit.

  • billbear1961

    A more lucrative market, grifter?

  • With the high cost of health care that her father is pushing no one will be able to afford her posh shit line and will only be able to get the cheap tat.

    • BJORN RAGNVALDR

      Too Bad “Accessibly-Priced Solution-Oriented Products” wasn’t built into TrumpDon’tCare.

    • another_steve

      Lol. I had to google, Steven. 😉

      From Urban Dictionary:

      tat : Noun — Rubbish, junk.

      Used to refer to the kind of junk sold by crafty Cockneys to unsuspecting tourists in central London.

      E.g. “You can’t wear that old cardigan, it’s tat.”

  • another_steve

    Girl can compete with The Dollar Tree chain, where I buy my $1 reading glasses. Literally — $1 — and they’re the absolute moral equivalent of the $20 and $25 over-the-counter reading glasses other retailers sell.

    Ivanka girlfriend: Sell ’em for $.90 and I’ll throw some change your way.

  • Treant

    OT: Has anybody heard anything about Trump and Azerbaijan? Something’s starting to rumble and it sounds big, but I have few details other than drug trafficking and ties to Iran.

    • BearEyes

      it’s a hotel deal where some of the money came from Iran’s revolutionary guard as a way to launder money through other businesses in “willing” regimes that aid and abet the corruption involved. Rachel did a segment on this a week or two ago

      • clay

        Iran’s Revolutionary Guard’s been heavily involved in international drug trafficking through both Venezuela and Afghanistan.

    • Ray Taylor
      • Treant

        Cool, thanks!

        So…why is he still in office?

        • TampaDink

          Because he’s a “republican”….duh! ;-D

    • -M-

      All I know is the New Yorker article and Maddow’s coverage of it, collaboration on a pointless misplaced inaccessible hotel (aka money laundering) with one of the most corrupt politicians in Azerbaijan, who also has ties to fronts run by Iran’s Revolutionary Guard.

    • yes b’y
  • EweTaw

    What? Has she bought out the Joan Rivers Collection?

  • i’ve always found it amusing that stupid people will pay more for shiny things with a brand name that are essentially of the same quality of crap found in stores for the poor. the shiny is harder, there’s a “brand name” associated with them, and a lady behind a counter who wears nice clothes sells them to you in a pretty box. so it’s totally worth paying 100X for something that goes for a buck and a quarter in the shopping fairs on the streets of china. /s

    i’d be pissed at him, if i were ivanka. “dammit, i could’ve had my own fashion empire, but you ruined it by running for president and making everyone hate your name.”

    i bet she’s not sleeping with him anymore.

    • Raising_Rlyeh

      I feel the same about anyone that spends thousands on diamond engagement rings. Stupid people.

  • billbear1961

    “commitment to offering solution-oriented products at accessible price points.”

    Christ, arrest her for torturing the English language.

    • Treant

      And exactly what “solution” does a bracelet offer? Cotton balls, sure. Toothpaste, absolutely. Lube…oh, hell to the yes.

      Jewelry? It solves nothing.

      (I have a separate rant about those who are dumb enough to stockpile gold against economic disaster, but that’s another story).

      • billbear1961
      • clay

        What problem did costume jewelry solve for Ivanka?

        Will DonTCare protect only families (read, married couples and, maybe, their biological children, no single women or mothers)?

    • Joe in PA

      I read that as “cesspool price points”. 🙂

  • Treant

    So she figured out that Trump votes shop for Wal-Mart crap, not Cartier-style stuff.

    Keep in mind, Ivanka, you have to move major volume and your father is not what I’d call popular.

  • Acronym Jim

    OT: An explosive device was detonated near Hillsboro, Oregon elementary and middle schools.

    http://www.oregonlive.com/washingtoncounty/index.ssf/2017/03/explosive_device_detonated_nea.html

    While no motive has been ascribed to the situation as yet, It should be noted that Hillsboro, a bedroom community of Portland, Oregon, has a significant Hispanic population.

  • Michael R
  • Robert Anthony
    • Princess Lardass

      I lost it when Ben Carson strolled in…

      • -M-

        KellyAnne as baby wrangler.

    • David Walker

      Thanks. I needed that.

    • perversatile

      Nanny Kellyanne snatching the children…

  • Butch

    Solution oriented products at affordable price points? I’m afraid I’m unable to translate that into English. It reminds me, back when I was a reporter, of sitting through a presentation on a planned urban “linear-type natural resource oriented corridor,” which turned out to be a “hiking trail.”

    • Friday

      Sounds like middle-management speak snorting ‘consolation-coke.’

    • lymis

      “Solution oriented products at affordable price points?”

      The problem is “People aren’t buying our crap.”
      The solution is “Sell it cheaper in places that aren’t likely to care about our politics.”

      • DRoseDARs

        It would be hilarious if even Walmart shoppers are like, “Um, no. Her dad took away my insurance. And my mom’s. And my dad’s. And my Uncle Cletus’s…”

        • Jon

          Spoiler: Dad and Uncle Cletus are the same person.

      • Dorothy Rothchild

        Totally agree. If this crap was still making them money these grifters would not be shutting it down.

    • coram nobis

      Translated into 1950s business speak: “Sales-wise and overprice-wise, we need to answer the $64,000 question, marketing-wise.”

    • Bob Right

      Nobody was hit with the subliminal link of “oriented products” and “Made in China”…..????…or have I missed something here…..

      • Chuck in NYC

        It hit me. And you beat me to it, commenting. LOL

  • Tawreos

    Smart move she doesn’t want people to have to choose between shitty jewelry or health insurance.

  • kareemachan

    So…. I’m guessing that 1) it’ll all be made in China, and 2) it will have high cadmium levels, cuz who needs regulations?

    • Jim Gallagher-Barker

      Nope, Ethiopia

      • yup. cause china isn’t corrupt enough for her to squeeze all the money out of the slaves who make her stuff that she wants.

        • -M-

          China isn’t corrupt enough for her to squeeze all the money out of Chinese slaves.

          • and i say: good for the chinese. it’s long past time they gave up that particular method of economy, making crap for other people in the west with slave labor.

          • -M-

            If she’s still got a shoe line, the plan was for the Chinese to switch to Ethiopian labor to make it. Because you can still pay them squat.

  • Gene

    Needless Markup IS stupidly expensive..BUT, from the few pieces I have seen of her Jewelry, I am surprised they ever carried it in the first place.

    The “Step Down” to lower level retail WONT involved a lot of style or material design. It was never her version of Cartier or Van Cleef and Arpels to start with. It was gaudy shinny shit.

    I am sure some trumpster who things she is “moving up” or “going higher end” at Marshalls will love it, but..well…thats just sad

  • Dirk Prophet

    Finally, I can afford Ivanka Drag!

  • Wynter Marie Starr

    Sorry Ivanka. I wouldn’t wear your crap if it was given to me for free. I don’t like you or your family and won’t help put money in your greedy pockets.

  • Gene

    Who was it who said that Donald Trump was a poor mans idea of what a wealthy sophisticated New Yorker lived like? Well…same thing can be said of all the sad copies of other peoples original ideas that are the Ivanka like of…everything she does.

  • BeaverTales

    APSOP by Ivanka, for the lady in your life who wants to look ‘spensive like me.

    Clairol, anal bleaching kit and SoCo Mountain Dew/Red Bull not included.

  • Ninja0980

    No bitch, I won’t help you line your pockets.

  • Rex

    Sure to be a hit at the next trailer park cook-out and beer bust.

    • i’ve hung out with a lot of people who live in houses on wheels in camping areas and parks. you know what?

      a lot of them make their own clothes, and craft their own jewelry. they would have no interest in her cheap bling.

  • Just like the rest of the family… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ed8353f58d723ecc56567928657933a28c4da043046d2e27fe25f4179e25db12.gif

    Future psychologists are going to write theses and dissertations on 45 and his family.

  • BearEyes

    Wake up, people!
    It’s a SOLUTION!

    do I really need the snark tag?

  • IAMBOWLINGGREEN
    • Salton

      Were’t these people massacred?

      • Jukesgrrl

        Yes, they’re the victims, mourned by their loved ones and good Americans everywhere.

      • BobSF_94117

        No, no, just heavily mascaraed.

      • Robincho

        You’ve forgotten that part about never remembering…

    • Joe in PA

      Just look at that slut in the middle hiking her skirt. Sheesh, have you no shame woman?

  • Blake J Butler

    It was cheap shit anyways, there are consequences of those you associate with, her father is no exception, the king of deceit, tackiness, greed, and narcissism.

    https://media.giphy.com/media/11IcOCMfkHwn72/giphy.gif

  • Lazycrockett

    Oh I feel so sad, so so sad. Poor entitled privileged wealthy white woman.

  • Rex

    She should appeal to her core consumer – the poorly educated.

  • teeveedub

    Ivanka is “providing access to jewelry.”

  • edrex

    hmmm…. how can i solve the problem of looking a little too tasteful without spending a lot of money? oh! I know….

  • -M-

    Making cheap, tacky knock-off jewelry and accessories affordable, while making healthcare a rare and expensive commodity that only the rich can afford.

    For a convert to Judaism, she seems a lot like a scamvangelical Baptist.

    • Paula Key

      A convert to the “golden calf” that Moses destroyed!

  • Lazycrockett

    Everything that is coming out of Sphincters mouth today is a complete lie. Its disturbing that the press is just letting him spew horseshit without calling him on it.

    • TampaDink

      So….in other words, today is another day that ends with the letter “y”.

  • Jerry Kott

    Ivanka has morphed into Evita Trump. It is amazing how merchandising works. We will soon see those candid photos of beast wearing her jewels while shopping at Walmart.

    • TampaDink

      She’s already 2 yrs. older than Eva Peron was when she died….and now that she’s squeezed out 3 kids, daddy isn’t as interested her.

  • Rex

    The cock ring line is especially nice, however, outside of the Trump family, they’re just finger rings.

    • charemor

      Pinky rings.

  • Friday

    Well, if not for the name, I could probably get behind a ‘solution oriented’ line of jewelry. I’m sure my ex would have loved to get me an electrical-contact-cleaning tennis bracelet. Maybe it could even dispense solvents. 🙂

    • Paula Key

      Ivanka Microwaves A solution to baking and photography!

      • clay

        “These EZ-bake polaroids are really something.”

  • Rick

    Well I suppose that’s one way to unload cursed objects.

  • Jon Doh

    “Accessibly-Priced Solution-Oriented Products”

    Oh, the Big Lots collection.

  • clay

    “Accessibly-Priced Solution-Oriented Products”

    = half-price Trump vodka + store-brand Jello

    • Paula Key

      Can’t wait for more SNL skits!

  • sadoldguy

    Ivank’s POTUS Shields. Real problem, real solution.

  • Mark Née Fuzz

    Solution-oriented. The solution to the problem of nobody wanting to buy her cheap knock off crap.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada
    • Friday

      Bang-on. 🙂 Where’s the Wal-Mart ‘Rollback’ sign, though? 🙂

    • jefe5084
      • Jean-Marc in Canada

        I appreciate the slam, nice to know you think I’m being obtuse.

        • jefe5084

          I did not mean this as a slam. It was my take on how I view Ivanka’s ridiculous statement about her new line of “solution oriented” jewelry. I don’t even know what that means. But I don’t wear jewelry, so I must not have identified a problem that needs that type of solution. Or something.

          • Jean-Marc in Canada

            Apologies. I misread the cartoon and it seemed oddly out of context. Again, apologies for the misunderstanding. It seems we both had the same WTF response to “solution oriented” jewelry. I wear very little, but what I wear is complimentary, not a solution to a problem. LOL

  • geoffalnutt

    High-priced tacky garbage…is now low-end tacky garbage – so Lurline (in the fancy double-wide) can look “classy” on bowling night.

    • Friday

      As the Trump ‘lifestyle brand’ officially goes low-rent.

    • coram nobis

      No, it’s actually emblematic, as this montage indicates: sparkly bling, foreign spies, a pussy to grab.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPeSPB68i2c

  • boatboy_srq

    It will be interesting to see whether the EPA/FDA/wherever can get the lead content in her new product line before it hits the shelves and before the tRumpets cut the funding.

  • Professor Barnhardt

    “accessible price points” = Dollar Tree.

    Why do they advertise anyway? It’s not as if they ever have a sale on anything. Spaghetti? $1. Set of jeweler’s screwdrivers? $1. Universal TV remote control? $1. (True story.)

  • Duh-David

    “Coming soon to a trailer park near you.”

    • Paula Key

      Coming from Africa – Ethiopian made Jewelry!

  • To provide a solution, you first have to define a problem. Not that linear thought has ever been in the Trump family logic arsenal. I’ve been in the industry of writing corporate-speak for 30 years, often to clients who insist their products and services are best defined by staggeringly craptastic corporate-speak. But “solution-oriented jewelry” outcraps anything I’ve ever written and holds a place of honor in a bucket of crap at the peak of the pile.

  • coram nobis

    Well, they bought Manhattan for a pile of junk jewelry, and now they’re selling it. Think of it as sequins of events.

  • Translation: “People with money and taste don’t want Ivanka’s trashy products…so we’ll make ’em trashier to appeal to trashy people.”

    • Paula Key

      “Make America Sparkly Again!”

  • TimJ

    “Accessibly-Priced Solution-Oriented Products” sounds like vibrators and dildos to me.

  • Jukesgrrl

    [Spoken in the voice of the evil witch from the Wizard of Oz] “Better to fleece you with, my pretties. Ya heh heh.”

  • excy

    Attention WalMart shoppers.

  • andrew

    The self promoting Kardashians are in the White House.

    • coram nobis

      Are they agents from the Obsidian Order?

  • greenmanTN
  • bkmn

    So she raided some boxes of Cracker Jack.

  • Henry Auvil

    Ivanka, darling. How about solution oriented healthcare at affordable price points?

    • Paula Key

      She touts herself as a feminist – what about those women that will not be illegible for health care?

  • Gerry Fisher

    Com-plic-it…Com-plic-it…Com-plic-it!!!

  • Skip Intro

    Hey, Ivanka — Amazon insiders admit that dildos are selling like hotcakes. You should seriously sell dildos and hotcakes.

  • 2guysnamedjoe

    Brand-new pricetags, same old sweatshop-made junk .

  • Tor

    Jewelry is usually the solution.

  • Mikey

    yay! more garbage to not buy.

  • JDS
  • sword

    Buy…Buy…Buy…Ivanka jewelry now available at the Trump Dollar Store!

    • RJ Bone

      Alternate fact: Trump dollars = $100 US. Can’t have the servants shopping there, can we?

  • RJ Bone

    “The expensive stores won’t buy my crap anymore because my family name is poisonous, so instead I’m going to appeal to the… lessers so I don’t completely lose my comfy lifestyle. I’ll have to make due with Dom for dinner only, now. Le sigh.”

  • Mark

    Solution oriented affordable jewelry these days consists of cardboard bracelets with slots for saving pennies. Thanks Ivanka. Who knew the penny would make such a big come back?

  • SnowFlake

    She gonna sell where Trump supports live…hello WALMART!!

  • Robincho

    Accessible price points such as the remainder bin at your local carwash…

  • Macbill

    Poor people need baubles, too.

  • Tom Ato

    In many ways, Bob’s Big Boy never left, sir. He’s always offered the same high-quality meals at competitive prices.