Ted Cruz: Allegations Against AG Jeff Sessions Are Just A “Nothing Burger” Pile Of Political Theater [VIDEO]

The Austin Statesman reports:

U.S. Sen Ted Cruz said Thursday that calls for Attorney General Jeff Sessions to resign or recuse himself from an investigation of ties between the Russian government and the Trump campaign were “political theater,” and that Sessions’ meeting with the Russian ambassador during the campaign — that he failed to disclose at his Senate confirmation hearing — was “a nothing burger.”

“Could Jeff have been more clear in what he said? Yes, I think that was unfortunate,” Cruz said. ” But I think context matters a lot. Jeff was being asked about the Trump campaign communicating with the Russians. I think he understood that he was answering in that capacity and that is perfectly understandable.”

“And the reason that I say it’s political theater is the underlying meaning — you know this morning everyone’s in high dudgeon about this meeting — the underlying meeting is a nothing burger,” Cruz said. “It’s what senators do every day — meeting with foreign ambassadors. That is part of the job.”

“Jeff is, was, a very hard-working senator and is a very hard-working attorney general and so I think everyone’s getting worked up because it’s a chance to beat up the attorney general and beat up the president, but I think the underlying meeting is simply doing his job,” Cruz said.

  • johncAtl

    Cruz should be happy that the administration is in turmoil since it opens the door for him to run in 2020.

    • FAEN

      I can’t even think of that right now. Just trying to deal with the fresh hell we get every day.

    • BudClark

      Li’l Teddy … anointed by God and his daddy … maybe the Holy Oil of Anointing was past its anoint-by date?

      • jmax

        Rancid Holy Oil?

        • Rex

          Still good to fry up a nothing burger.

          • jmax

            LOL. Good one.

  • Frostbite

    Well he would know a thing or two about political theater, wouldn’t he?

    • Chucktech

      His theatrical reading of “Green Eggs and Ham” was just magical…

  • Lumpy Gaga

    Depends on what the meaning of “meet” is.

  • Derrick Johns

    What did our new president call Cruz? Lyyyin’ Ted.

    • johncAtl

      And the son of a Kennedy assassination co-conspirator.

    • Rex

      He also had some comments about Mrs. Cruz appearance.

  • bambinoitaliano

    It’s still better than a pile of shit this traitor continues to sell his consituents.

  • FAEN

    Cheeto voters-you and your party have NO shame at all. Disgusting.

  • Tawreos

    All he would have had to say is that yes I met with the Russians, but I made sure to keep the focus on senate business and not discuss the campaign in anyway. Instead he chose to lie.

    • Johnny Wyeknot

      Either way he would be lying

      • Lumpy Gaga

        Perjury Trap! (the house version)

      • Tawreos

        True, but it would have been harder to prove he perjured himself

    • Chucktech

      Even THEN, he should recuse himself of any investigation regarding this matter. They’d scream their hypocrite asses off if a Democrat didn’t.

    • bobbleobble

      The problem with that is admitting to the meetings looks bad, a campaign surrogate meeting with the Russian ambassador at a time when the supposed collusion was taking place would be a big news story and could potentially have scuppered his nomination. He lied because he hoped no one would ever find out.

  • Johnny Wyeknot

    I’d say it was a whopper.

    • Rex

      Well done!

      • Christopher

        I prefer mine to be medium rare.

    • Todd20036

      And not a Subway chicken sandwich

  • Sam_Handwich

    one of their meetings was at the RNC convention – DURING WHICH THE PARTY PLATFORM WAS CHANGED TO BENEFIT PUTIN

    /caps

    • Lumpy Gaga

      I’m not entirely comfortable with screaming sandwiches.

    • GayOldLady

      Yep…..And I think Paul Manafort arranged that. The press tried to get to the bottom of why they changed the platform to a position that favored Russia and who pushed the change, but they never found out. Manafort denied it.

      • Lumpy Gaga

        Joe and Mika tried to Daily Show that clip of Manafort stumbling over the direct NBC question of Trump’s financial liabilities with Russian oligarchs.

        They should stick with their morning jobs.

    • GayOldLady
    • JT

      Grand Old Roosky Party for Grand Old Putin.

    • Todd20036

      I liked when the GOP was over every single mental barf from their pet FBI director about Hillary’s emails, only to find out that the “new revelations” were just older emails that were already reviewed.

      Meanwhile, after years of investigations, the goobers couldn’t come up with a single indictment of Hillary Clinton.

      And now less than 2 months into Trump’s regime, you have GOP senators trying to dissuade investigations into crimes that have evidence leaking all over the place.

      This whole election is turning into a fucking embarrassment for everyone.

      But at least our side is enjoying the show.

      • AtticusP

        We need to find a way to tie Jeff Sessions to Benghazi.

        Maybe then the Republicans will take notice.

        (But probably not…)

        • Goodboy

          That would only work if Sessions changed his affiliation to the Democratic Party.

      • Chucktech

        Yeah, I’m just having a ball….

        • Todd20036

          Consider this. If the Nazis had their acts a little more together, they would have been able to concentrate on getting their bigotry enshrined into the Constitution.

          Instead, they are too incompetent to accomplish something stupid.

          • Prixator

            But, somehow, they are deemed competent enough by voters to keep trying.

    • Richard B

      It sure struck me as super weird when the Ukraine plank was edited out of the Republican Platform at request of the Trump campaign and then the Trump people spent days afterwards denying it.

  • AtticusP

    With Lyin’ Ted in his corner, it might be time for little Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III to start drafting his letter of resignation.

  • bkmn
    • bzrd

      as we all know, BLOTUS’ and cohort will not be de-turd from lying

    • Derrick Johns

      Oh, no. Is it real? Where’s the toilet paper?

  • Lazycrockett
  • Halou

    What is Jeb! up to these days?

    • Johnny Wyeknot

      Thanking god he is not the president

    • Rex

      Still waiting for applause.

      • Craig Howell

        Nobody gave him the clap, alas.

  • Lumpy Gaga

    “I did not have meetual relations with that Russian.”

    • Halou

      It is a “nothing burger”, members of the Trump administration did not meat with the Russian ambassador.

      • Lumpy Gaga

        Careful with the “m” word around Sam.

  • Treant

    What did you know and when did you know it, Ted? An independent investigation should be called to start figuring that out–because this is not a fire, it’s a conflagration, and you’re clearly ignoring it.

    In short, sit down and shut up, traitor.

  • GayOldLady

    No, you’re a Nothing Burger Mr. Scruz

    • johncAtl

      You forgot the word “rancid” in front of “nothing.”

  • Lumpy Gaga

    “I never Mikhail’ed.”

  • billbear1961

    In that interview–if it’s the one I saw earlier online–Cruz can’t answer when the reporter asks him WHAT Sessions discussed with the Russian ambassador.

    He is also on the defensive when the reporter points out none of the other Senators on the committee who responded to the Washington Post had been in contact with the Russian ambassador.

    • Michael R

      Maybe learn what you are talking about
      BEFORE making your grand statement ?

  • Max_1

    A nothing booger…
    http://i.imgur.com/VrMSoin.gif

    • johncAtl

      Damn it. I was just about to go get lunch.

      • Lumpy Gaga

        Oh, poor you. I’m mid-Gyro, so, Tzatziki sauce.

    • Michael R

      At best he is a good place to dispose of boogers .

  • bobbleobble

    The question Franken asked did not allow Sessions the wiggle room that Cruz seems to think it does. In any event it’s not up to Sessions to decide whether something is relevant or not. So Sessions lied under oath, it’s plain and simple.

  • Jay George
  • Paula

    Nothing burger is the new jiggery-pokery!

    • Friday

      They heard a Democrat say that about the Comey/2nd emails stunt: thought they could project.

  • Rex

    Ask Lincoln how the theater thing worked out.

  • JWC

    It’s amazing how Ted doesn’t get dizzy jumping from one back of the axe to the other How any of these fools can claim a shread of credibility or respect

  • Rex

    A nothing burger with a big ole side of lying.

  • PickyPecker
  • mikeinftl

    He wasn’t clearer because he was LYING.

  • Rex

    Now tell me what you’d say if it were a democrat in his position.

  • Sam_Handwich

    Senior administration official says White House learned of Sessions’ contacts with Russian ambassador from press reports – jake tapper

    • Treant

      Really, they learned of it when Vlad called Donnie to tell him all about it.

  • Tor

    Cruz should know plenty about nothing burgers and political theater.

  • MikeBx2

    “It’s what senators do every day — meeting with foreign ambassadors. That is part of the job.”

    Yeah, except no. Not meeting one on one during a campaign swirling with questions about Russian interference. Try again, Ted.

    • Todd20036

      And then denying it, and then “forgetting about it” and then saying nothing of note was discussed.
      But given that Cruz is as hated as Trump, I see no surprises in Cruz’ response.

  • Friday

    OK, ‘Lying Ted,’ the only good thing that came out of this last election farce was the part where you shut up and go away. Don’t take that away.

  • bambinoitaliano

    Yes, the one that nobody likes is still trying so hard to be accepted. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8d691c758384e90528e73b2512d75a3c5ab514aec52600875f39798b1a58e4d5.gif

    • Halou

      Jeb! walks away and even the fat controller of New Jersey turns away. Damn.

      • Rex

        Well, that happens when you don’t bring enough nothing burgers for everyone.

    • Jay George

      You and me is pals, ain’t we Jebby?!

    • MaryJOGrady

      A Texas friend who has been forced to spend time in the same room with Cruz said, “You hate him as soon as you meet him. It saves a lot of time.”

  • Sam_Handwich
    • MikeBx2

      Must be named Clinton in order for rudeness to be ok. Or something.

      • Goodboy

        Two rules for a republican to be rude: D at the ends of their names and any day ending in y.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      “My concern is, ‘Is our Senators learning?'”

    • Lumpy Gaga

      Poor Orrin. No pearl necklace for him to clutch. Maybe Ivanka can set him up.

    • CanuckDon

      Whether it’s total lack of self-awareness or the cunning plea of the bully, I’m just glad to see these insidious fuckers on the firing line right now and hopefully starting to sweat. Couldn’t happen to a better bunch of scheming asswipes.

    • Ragnar Lothbrok

      ” Why is no one talking about the Cherry Tree blossoms in DC??!”

      • Danieruw

        Because jerks like us will bring up human-induced climate change?

    • Ninja0980

      You mean like how your party treated Obama?

      • Chucktech

        And Hillary?

    • Cuberly

      Who new Mormon’s could be such venal jackasses….oh wait…

  • JaniceInToronto

    Spoken by one of the most illustrious assholes in U.S. politics.

  • Skokieguy [Larry]

    Sorry for O/T, A third Jewish cemetery has been desecrated.

    A Jewish cemetery in Rochester, New York, was vandalized, the third such incident in the United States in less than two weeks.Five headstones were found toppled Thursday morning at the Waad Hakolel Cemetery, also known as the Stone Road Cemetery, in the city in western New York, according to News 10 NBC WHEC.

    http://www.jta.org/2017/03/02/news-opinion/united-states/jewish-cemetery-vandalized-in-rochester-ny-third-incident-in-us-in-less-than-2-weeks

    • BudClark

      May the names of the dead be a blessing.

      • Skokieguy [Larry]

        We have a very large and historic cemetery in the burbs of Chicago. And I do have relatives there. Part of me wants to contact them to see if they have cameras, if they are stationing guards at the gates, etc., but feel weird making the call. I’m not wealthy where I could provide them funds to do so if they aren’t, but I’m so fearful they may be next.

        • Lars Littlefield

          In our little nowhere part of the west even the tiniest of communities are wired with security video to catch vandals in the local cemeteries. What’s up with no security cameras in these cemeteries that are being vandalized?

          • Skokieguy [Larry]

            Cameras are pretty cheap today an you only need to protect the perimeter. I remember we had a few cemeteries vandalized (of various denominations) to steal the bronze urns on some of the headstones.

            I still consider that desecration and a vile act, but that was done by a thief motivated by money. This current spate of attacks are specifically driven by hate and to cause pain and anguish. For that reason, they are far more despicable and people who promote a toxic atmosphere, like Bannon & Trump absolutely share the blame.

          • Chucktech

            Guess no one gives a shit about Jew graves…

    • MaryJOGrady

      Oh, no.
      Can any social historian tell me whether the US has ever had such a spate of deliberate cemetery desecrations directed at any particular religion in such a short time? (I have a feeling there has not been, ever before.)

      • Skokieguy [Larry]

        What’s interesting is that (at least the link I posted), they take pains to NOT call it anti-semitism or a hate crime, which given the political climate and the actual occurrences of the past few weeks, strikes me as rather odd.

        • MaryJOGrady

          It strikes me as downright unrealistic.

        • ChrisMorley

          Sometimes it’s more comfortable when we don’t face the ugly likely truth.

          He was also specific about there not being overt evidence to demonstrate it was motivated by hate. See also:

          ‘To prosecute an act of vandalism as a hate crime, law-enforcement officers face several important challenges, said Jack Levin, a professor emeritus of criminology at Northeastern University who studies hate crimes. First, they have to identify the culprits. Then, they have to provide evidence, from bigoted graffiti to suspects’ statements, that
          crimes were motivated by religious hatred. “In many hate crimes, the offenders are simply not that stupid to leave evidence of the motivation at the crime scene,” Levin said. “We may all think a hate crime has occurred, but prosecutors refuse to charge” because of a lack of evidence.’
          https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/02/jewish-cemeteries-destruction/518040/

          Hate crime law could be rewritten to shift the burden of proof. The law could require the perpetrator to prove that their vandalism was NOT motivated by hate. That would increase convictions but it is very difficult to prove a negative so law makers avoid this.

          • Skokieguy [Larry]

            Normally I think being restrained in hurling accusations is warranted. For example in a post today, Joe mentioned how he often waits to post on alleged hate crimes till a perpetrator is caught as we know there have been several instances of hoaxes.

            But in this case, the abundance of caution exhibited seems unwarranted. At the very least, how can the desecration of a Jewish cemetery not be anti-Semitic? I don’t believe this was an accident because the groundskeeper was drunk on his riding mower…

          • ChrisMorley

            I’m with you. I think it almost certainly was an anti-semitic hate crime.
            The legal realities of it being difficult to gather sufficient evidence to reach the legal standard of proof for hate motivation are particularly frustrating.
            But first they need to catch the vandals.

  • Mike C

    I won’t believe you until you waste $50 million in tax payer dollars in hearings.

  • Halou

    Cruz said. “It’s what senators do every day — meeting with foreign ambassadors. That is part of the job.”

    So which other foreign ambassadors has the Trump team been communicating with on a regular basis? How many members of the cabinet are in hock to what other foreign governments?

  • Lazycrockett

    That Castro needs to run against him.

    • MaryJOGrady

      Both those young Castro brothers are great progressive Democrats. They learned at their mother’s knee: she was and is a terrific community organizer in San Antonio.

  • MikeBx2
  • Gerry Fisher

    “He was just doing his job…at meetings that didn’t happen…during which he definitely did NOT talk about the campaign.”

  • Lars Littlefield

    Ah hah! So Cruz admits to knowing Honey Nutingberger and her Stuttgart Schteppers! I always suspected he was a Nazi sympathizer.

  • Max_1
  • Henry Auvil

    I didn’t think it was possible to loathe Ted Cruz any more than I did, but then he used the phrase, “nothing burger”.

    • Todd20036

      Especially after what he said about Clinton and the emails.

  • Rex

    If meeting with foreign ambassadors is part of the job, why didn’t he mention it at the hearings?

    • clay

      because he wasn’t meeting them “about the campaign”
      maybe he was meeting them about the hacking, instead

  • Kelly Lape

    The GOP lost the ability to apply for any leniency in the way they’ve treated Democrats for 8 years. Benghazi – was a fucking nothing burger, now shut up and put some fucking ketchup on your well done nothing burger Senator.

  • Blake J Butler

    Refusing to swear in a SCOTUS justice under the prior president, using your constituents as a ploy to suit your own selfish and despicable wants, taking credit for things you’ve never done, all in the name of political theater.

    And Sessions is just another “good old boy” with a black heart, a hateful agenda, and ethics that are questionable that demand answers especially when he lies under oath.

    Want to make America “great” again ? take a bottle of bleach underneath the sink, and a glass, and whatever happens, happens. Repeat over 60 million times and then you can start to make America great again. By getting rid of the stupid people that do not want to learn, ask questions, blame others for their problems, mindlessly following authority heads without fact-checking them, people so far gone they are a menace to the rest of society with the damage they inflict upon innocents that can understand what’s happening.

  • Rebecca Gardner

    Fuck you Ted Cruz. The fate of our Republic is at stake you assholes are putting Party over Country.

    https://twitter.com/Martina/status/837313918305517569

    • Sam_Handwich

      it may take years, but they always step in their own poop

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_Vs5570pKw

      • Lars Littlefield

        Tap, tap, tap.*

        *Foot code for “Do you swallow?”

        • Todd20036

          Deep.
          Throat.

        • Derrick Johns

          LOL You beat me to it.

    • Tomcat

      And Clinton was just fucking interns, he is fucking all of us.

      • bzrd

        Clinton was having fun with consenting adults
        sessions is raping us

    • Rolf

      What was it Trump called him?
      Oh yeah, Lyin’ Ted.
      I guess it takes one to know one.

  • Max_1
    • Lumpy Gaga

      “And by ‘problem’, I mean ‘shit’.”

  • Ragnar Lothbrok
    • Todd20036

      About time he grew a spine.

  • Michael R

    yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap
    yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap
    yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap
    yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap
    yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap
    yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap
    yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap nothingburger
    yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap
    yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap
    yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap
    yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap
    yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap
    yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap

    • Tomcat

      THAT IS A LOT OF YAP.

      • coram nobis

        Think of it as dogma.

        • bzrd

          which dog would that be? the one at the front door always lying in the way ?

          • coram nobis

            The one that chases my karma.

  • billbear1961

    Put bluntly, then, Sessions has perjured himself. Again, note his response to Franken: “I did not have communications with the Russians.” Not, “I did not discuss the election with the Russians,” nor, “I spoke to them, but only about the business of the Senate Armed Service Committee.” Even if he’s telling the truth about the content of the meetings (questionable), and truly thought they were not germane, he surely knows that it’s not his privilege—as someone giving testimony before Congress—to decide what is and is not relevant. And If Sessions is guilty of perjury, then he is therefore guilty of a “high crime and misdemeanor,” and so is subject to impeachment and removal from office. This was established, quite definitively, in the case of Bill Clinton, who was impeached for playing precisely the same sorts of word games (albeit in order to cover up for some extracurricular fun, as opposed to a possible conspiracy to manipulate a presidential election). During Clinton’s impeachment, one Republican senator was particularly insistent that, “I have no doubt that perjury qualifies under the Constitution as a high crime. It goes to the heart of the judicial system.” That Senator, of course, was Jeff Sessions.

    Of course, politicians on both sides of the aisle are not so great about being consistent when the shoe is on the other foot. So while, by all evidence, Sessions should be impeached (or resign, which is what the Democrats are calling for), that doesn’t mean it will actually happen. Even if he keeps his job, however, it is now entirely impossible for a Sessions-led Justice Dept. to impartially investigate Russian interference in the 2016 election. If he is allowed to not only keep his job, but also to run the investigation (as opposed to having an independent prosecutor appointed), then it will be corruption of a sort that we’ve not seen for a very long time, if ever.

    http://www.electoral-vote.com/evp2017/Pres/Maps/Mar02.html#item-1

  • Rex

    I believe “nothing burger” is what his wife screamed out the last time they had sex.

    • coram nobis

      No, I believe it’s a “nothing burger” with patties made by the Soylent Corporation.

    • bzrd

      I’m thinking it’s nothing hot dog

    • Tomcat

      She actually said Honey I want to feel the wrath of god, give it to me hard.

      • Robert Conner

        So he fingered her?

    • Max_1

      Bologna…

      • Chucktech

        Certainly wasn’t pepperoni…

  • اريك بوشتي

    Doing his job as a senator or as a campaign surrogate? Bah don’t tell me at the RNC he was acting as a US Senator!

  • HZ81

    Lying under oath is nothing? This guy is a lawyer, right?

    Oh, wait. I forgot it’s Ted Cruz, a semi-automatic serial-liar.

  • MikeBx2
  • Mark

    I suppose if I had to chose….a nothing burger is better than piece of shit Cruz

  • OUTinMinnesota

    Paging Mr. McCarthy… Mr. Joe McCarthy

    Cleanup of communist sympathizer in aisle one

  • coram nobis

    Political theater, perhaps, but there seems to be smoke coming from backstage.

    https://theintercept.com/2017/03/02/homeland-security-sees-anger-at-trump-as-a-driver-of-domestic-terrorist-violence/

    In the view of the Department of Homeland Security’s intelligence wing, anger over the election of Donald Trump, reflected in protests across the country, is a driving force in “domestic terrorist violence,” according to an unclassified report obtained by The Intercept …
    — lede

  • Tomcat

    Of course he lied,,, he is after all a congressman.

    • Kelly Lape

      was a Senator.

      • Tomcat

        Tomato Tomato,

        • Tomcat

          He was in congress when he lied to congress.

        • Kelly Lape

          I understand what you’re saying, but disagree with the substance. If we let slide mis-statements, then we allow the GOP to cover their lies with “mis-statements”

  • geoffalnutt

    Republican responses to getting caught:
    1.) It’s no big deal. Democrats do it too.
    2.) Fake news.
    3.) It’s a plot by the left.
    4.) Obama (and/or Hillary)

    • nocadrummer

      5.) Teh gays.

  • AdamTh

    So Lyin’ Ted now supports Lyin’ Jeff? No surprise…..

  • HZ81

    I am not one who believes in karma as there are just too many assholes in this world who get away with everything (re: POTUS) but..,

    “Sessions cited Lynch-Clinton meeting in calling for special prosecutor in email investigation – CNN”

    Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

  • Boy Elvis

    Why yes, Ted, Jeff Sessions is exactly the hill we’d like you to die on. By all means, hitch your little red wagon to his racist ass.

  • ted is one of the ones who will cling to the shitpile dumpster fire till the bitter end. count on it.

    • carrot festival

      Once a suck-up…

  • Cuberly

    Cruz wants Sessions exactly where he is.

  • 2patricius2

    This whole Administration and Republicant Congress has been nothing but “a pile of poop,” and a “pile of nothing for the American people but political theater.” Circuses and no bread.

  • Tomcat

    Sessions lied INADVERTENTLY, just like Kellyanne Conway sold Trump goods INADVERTENTLY so the ethics committee and the investigative committee have decided they don’t have to do anything to him either.

    • Robert Conner

      Well it makes a certain amount of sense since Trump got elected inadvertently.

  • Cuberly
    • Max_1

      Extreme vetting, of course…

    • 2patricius2

      Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!!! ROFL!!!!!

      What a crock from the senior White House official.

      • Cuberly

        …and they didn’t know about Flynn either!…well, until they did know….

    • Suuuuure they did.

    • coram nobis

      In other words, the President’s intelligence source was Fox.

      • Lars Littlefield

        Bingo!

      • Robert Conner

        Specifically Steven Doocy who’s been working deep undercover this whole time.

    • -M-

      The White House kitchen should announce their lunch menu of Fox.

  • Sam_Handwich

    Beaureghazi!

    • johncAtl

      I was going with Beauregate, but that also works well.

  • Taylor

    I think Ted’s confusing his campaign for President, with the allegations against Sessions.

    If you want to talk about a “nothing burger” look no further than his feeble run for the nomination.

  • Lazycrockett

    Sphincter’s Press Conference is gonna be a whole lotta fun today.

    • Sam_Handwich

      i don’t see one scheduled for today at c-span

      • Lazycrockett

        Oh I thought this was now a daily thing in the Drumpf administration of attention grabbing.

    • UrsusArctos

      Yep,”Moose-Sqvirrel” instead of “Moose-Lambs”.

  • Acronym Jim

    How ironic that Cruz is using the same “nothing-burger” analogy that was used for Comey’s alleged (and non-existent) Clinton emails.

  • Jon Doh

    Didn’t Ted once tell us he was chosen by god to be President? It’s obvious he has comprehension and, or hearing problems. Fuck off Ted!

    • Robert Conner

      Ted’s a little dyslexic. Actually he was chosen by dog to be president but dog didn’t know from shit.

    • Chucktech

      Yeah, but then his god turned out to be dead.

  • Ted…Ted… You have a booger on your lip.

    Oh, sorry, that’s just the rest of your head.

  • Rebecca Gardner
    • Treant

      Well, that’s not going to get the towels dry enough.

    • Acronym Jim

      I had no idea there was live video of the Bowling Green Massacre.

    • pj

      big gay hate machine

      • BobSF_94117

        never mind

  • Thorn Spike

    Lyin’ Ted still lying.

  • MikeBx2

    Remember when Trump made that nice speech before Congress and everything changed…
    https://twitter.com/politico/status/837366496628195333

    • Ninja0980

      Comey…. one of Obama’s biggest blunders and future warning to Democrats… NEVER put a Republican in charge of anything.. EVER.

    • Treant

      There was some sort of speech? Missed it.

    • Max_1

      About fucking time someone notices 1+1 EQUALS 2.

    • The_Wretched

      Well, there’s a shocker. Comey should never have been appointed.

    • BobSF_94117

      Well, normally the FBI doesn’t discuss on-going investigations, and that’s a good thing. Obviously, though, given their behavior with Clinton, that rule rings rather hollow.

      Besides, let the shit-show intensify, as far as I’m concerned.

      (Just don’t burn assets and get people killed or jailed in Russia)

  • I guess no one’s briefed Teddy here on the fact the WH is already well into “toss under the bus” mode on Sessions.

  • Guess the press has already noticed what I observed a short while ago–

    https://twitter.com/JillDLawrence/status/837363105730543616

  • Luther Kreiger

    Why is anyone listening to Ted “insane theocrat” Cruz, again?

  • TheManicMechanic

    So sayeth the rot burger and expert on political theater.

  • Robert Conner

    Ted, your wife’s still a dog and your daddy helped murder JFK. So fuck the fuck off!

  • Lazycrockett
    • joe ho

      Macron has to hang on for 8 more weeks.

  • david fairfield

    Ted, YOU are a nothing burger. Nobody….democrats, republicans, tea party, ANY party likes you. You are irrelevant, meagre, pathetic…in short, a nothing burger, whatever that means.

  • Cuberly
    • SoCalGal20

      He also brought in Carter Page, I believe. That was on my timeline this morning.

      • Cuberly

        Yep, he did.

    • The tapestry of Trump/Russia collusion appears to be rapidly unraveling.

  • Walter Maerlyn

    Oh, it’s a REAL burger alright!
    https://i.ytimg.com/vi/-D5YWtNNyjI/hqdefault.jpg

  • Silver Badger

    Zodiac killer says what?

  • Patrick Thomas

    If meeting with the Russian ambassador is just “part of the job,” then why didn’t Sessions say that when Franken asked him the question. Simple answer: he was hiding something. He perjured himself and must resign, if not go to jail.

  • CraigNJ

    He “thinks” the meeting was nothing, but we’ll never know for sure without an independent commission to investigate it

  • WitlessProtection

    This is the same party that slammed Bill Clinton over his use of the word “is”…fuck them.

  • jimbo65

    I’m not watching this. Was he interviewed by one of the milk toast host that capitulate and let the GOP get away with the crazy?

  • Go home, Ted. You’re obnoxious, and drunk.

    • And your children find you as repellent as the rest of us.

  • Ian

    Well pardon me if I don’t take the craven opinion of a Canadian-born immigrant. Let’s investigate and see exactly how much nothing meat there is in this burger?

  • bambinoitaliano
  • jugomono
    • joe ho

      you should post one of trump for comparison.

      • Boreal

        Please no.

      • Absolutely fucking not.

      • Treant

        Some of us would like to keep lunch down, thanks.

      • Todd20036

        Pass. Trump is fat, orange, and has that smarmy expression that says “I know everything and I am the smartest person in the room.”
        I’ve seen that expression on my older sister, which is one of the reasons I haven’t had a real conversation with her in 5 years.

      • Pip

        Did you hit your head?

    • WretchedMouse
    • coram nobis

      That will cause everybody’s whatsis to point north, magnetically.

      O Canada we stand on guard for thee.

    • Derrick Johns

      He was beautiful.

  • Boreal
  • Mark

    If it had been a democrat……

    • Gianni

      It would be like a ‘nukular’ explosion.

  • Boreal
    • How long will cheetolini lag between finding out something and acting? And then of course blame the fake news press for firing him…..sigh.

  • Hank
  • vernacular100
    • clay

      it’s that congealed ball of spit that clung to his lips during that public speech.

  • Hmm. https://twitter.com/jaketapper/status/837359090913402881

    I wonder if this is the cue for a “senior intelligence official” to mention the WH was fully read-in on all the details when they received their “Russia Determined To Strike in U.S. Elections” briefing last November.

  • Max_1
  • Yalma Cuder-Zicci

    Joe, can you post articles about Cruz without posting his photo? Especially at lunch time? Thanks.

  • Pip

    This shit just keeps getting deeper and deeper, and the Repubs just keep swimming in it more and more. They wasted MILLIONS of taxpayer dollars on hunting down HER EMAILS but won’t lift a fucking finger about connections to Russia or likely election tampering by Russia on behalf of Trump.

    Are we in Bizarro world? Is that what has happened here?? WTF

    • And it’s not just any country, but our mortal enemy!

      • Pip

        I really don’t get it. These are the same people who lived through the Cold War era. The same people who scream about everything un-American all the time. The same people who screamed about how much Russia was the one to beware of because they are the anit-America. And now they can’t wait to climb in bed with Putin.

        • I don’t get it either, except that the desire for power makes for some strange bedfellows.

          • Pip

            Truth!

  • bambinoitaliano

    O/T What Director of Moonlight, Barry Jenkins acceptance speech suppose to be had the triumphant moment not robbed by Price Water House error.

    https://www.thestar.com/entertainment/movies/2017/03/02/the-speech-moonlight-director-barry-jenkins-never-got-to-give.html

  • jaydee5000

    A simple Google search reveals how many times this hypocritical sack of crap demanded investigations, demands that the Attorney General should resign (without any evidence), and many other demands, droning on in that unctuous nails on a blackboard voice. What’s not to hate about this clown?

    • His absence from the tv news for the rest of eternity?

  • Well then, this explains a bunch:

    President Donald Trump’s team rejected a course for senior White House staff, Cabinet nominees and other political appointees that would have provided training on leadership, ethics and management, according to documents obtained by POLITICO.

    The documents suggest the program could have better prepared officials for working within existing laws and executive orders, and provided guidance on how to navigate Senate confirmation for nominees and political appointees, how to deal with congressional and media scrutiny, and how to work with Congress and collaborate with agencies — some of the same issues that have become major stumbling blocks in the early days of the administration.

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/03/trump-ethics-white-house-235586

  • JustDucky

    It’s just like The Zodiac Killer to felate the man who accused his father of killing JFK.

    http://www.nationalenquirer.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/ted-cruz-father-jfk-assassin-lee-harvey-oswald-1.jpg

  • Lazycrockett
    • Brooklyn Joe

      now that should be interesting

    • Cuberly

      Thought he was in hiding.

      • He is. ‘In hiding’ doesn’t necessarily mean unreachable, if even only through intermediaries.

      • ChrisMorley

        Steele is somewhere in England and was recently drinking in a pub in Cambridgeshire with a friend. Unfortunately the Sun which received a tip off failed to send a photographer/journalist to capture this scoop. Private Eye 24 February, page 6.

    • BobSF_94117

      I’d still rather an independent council.

  • Secure

    The House impeached Bill Clinton over a perjury charge. Sessions lied.

  • HZ81

    Rick Perry was confirmed for Energy Secretary. Who said the functionally retarded can’t achieve great things.

    • Gianni

      In that category, he’s living in Trump’s shadow.

  • HZ81

    Trump is speaking aboard an aircraft carrier with a raging 2-inch war boner. From the sound of his disparaging comments about the state of our military, you’d think he’s floating aboard a bathtub covered in duct tape.

    • Those fellas standing behind him look none to happy. And the looks on the faces of the workers weren’t all that pleased as punch either.

  • JCF

    Drumpf, cos-playing in military drag: “I will never let you down.”

    Tell that to the father of the Navy SEAL who died for NOTHING, you fucking chicken hawk!

    • Donald’s trying to Rickroll the entire U.S. military? Yeah, that’ll work.

  • ByronK
  • Blake J Butler
    • Cuberly

      UR not alone, posted the same yesterday. 😉

    • coram nobis

      lol fbi pdq fsb, she wrote

  • Brooklyn Joe

    “high dudgeon”? “nothing burger”? says former has-been masquerading as current has-been – honey your 15 minutes was up in the 60s – just go home and eat your nothing burger

  • The_Wretched

    You’re on Team Mercer Cruz. Chances are if it weren’t Trump the Unfit with Russian ties, it would be YOU!.

  • Cuberly

    I knew Nunes was a dim-partisan-bulb, but does he really think this is helping? Uh, yeah he does…DERP!

    https://twitter.com/joshtpm/status/837387682879795200

    • Looks like it’s time for a bit of professional journalism directed Nunes way… There’s sure to be some dirt on him.

      • Gianni

        I agree. What he said certainly sounds like a veiled threat of sorts. Is he allowed to spend taxpayer money on any dreamt up necessity to investigate reporters for asking questions? What the hell is going on with these people?

  • David
    • Tomcat

      Doesn’t that nose look like a DICK. I would hate to go through life with a dick for a nose.

  • greenmanTN

    I am no fan of Lindsey Graham, but he can throw some shade.

    “If you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the Senate, nobody would convict you.”

    On Cruz vs Trump: “It’s like being shot or poisoned,” Graham said at a Capitol Hill press conference in January. “What does it matter?”

    http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2016/03/lindsey-graham-endorses-ted-cruz

  • Joseph Miceli

    So Hillary’s emails must be an empty hotdog. Bah!

    • Tomcat

      No they are very criminal and need more investigations.
      Right now would be a great time for congress to re-investigate her to get the heat off Trump and his merry band of assholes.

  • I see Cruddy Cruz is still angling for a cushy job.

  • pj

    the context ted is that your pal sessions was under oath to answer a very simple question. he lied under oath ted. now take your nothing burger and shove it up your smug ass.

  • Tomcat

    Where are Bo and Luke when we need them, boss Hogg is creating a crooked administration.

  • Doug Miller

    Honestly… how much more shit does this administration have to pile onto Mr. Cruz and his family before he comes up for air.

  • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

    Nobody likes you.

    Nobody cares about you.

    You’re a booger-eating slimeball.

    Just go away already.

  • DuaneBidoux

    There is an actual video of Sessions telling Congress while under oath that he had no contact with the Russians. Joe should have put that video under the video of the asshat Cruz.

    • BobSF_94117

      I finally heard the clip. Out and out lie.

  • Thorn Spike

    Lyin’ Ted would eat a sh*t sandwich and tell you it’s a nothing burger.

  • justme

    Hey Teddie…
    I’ll take a “nothing burger” with a “Sessions Recuse” on the side

  • Richard B

    If Ted Cruz says there is nothing to worry about in regards to Jeff Sessions unreported meetings with the Russians, that tells me there is something serious going on and a special independent prosecutor is required.

  • BobSF_94117

    Lettuce, tomato, a bit of mayo, and grilled onions. Hold your pickle, Ted.

  • DonnaLee

    Says the man with no soul.