World Net Daily: The Family Christian Chain Went Bankrupt Because They Didn’t Love Jesus Properly

Via World Net Daily:

News came this week that Family Christian Stores is finally shuttering all 240 locations. The 85-year-old chain filed for bankruptcy protection in 2015, and now the end has come for the Christian retail giant that employed 3,000 and stretched across 36 states. They did it to themselves. The explosion came from within, as decades of pandering to the lowest-common denominator within evangelicalism resulted in poorly educated Christians who have read more about Jesus in “Jesus Calling” than from the Bible. And the “Jesus Calling” version of “Jesus” ain’t Him.

Mystical, contemplative spirituality, weird experiential-driven claptrap, and social justice progressivism passes today for Christian resources. They all contribute to the biblical illiteracy in this country. At the Family Christian Stores fire sale, one can find books by Jen Hatmaker (a Never-Trumper, socially progressive “evangelical”), Hillsong’s Brian Houston and William Paul Young, who wrote “The Shack.” That’s just the tip of the iceberg that has rendered the Evangelical community just another glitzy, over-confident Titanic.

It is a sign of our times that when I tell audiences or readers that their best Christian resources are a Bible, pen and notebook, I hear laughter from the audience. It sounds funny, I guess. But it is also the truth. If the American Christian community would study the Bible, pray, and make real disciples, there would be a thriving Christian bookstore on every street corner. Ironic, isn’t it?

That book by an anti-Trump writer is what done them in!

  • Mrs. Councillor Nugent

    “And she lusted after her lovers. . .”

    • David Walker

      “…so don’t forget to buy Christian Condoms, the only condoms big enough to hold lots of donkey cum but are still natural feeling. Christian Condoms, recommended by Mary herself. And remember: only Christian Condoms have the random bible verse on the cover.”

      • Mrs. Councillor Nugent

        But you don’t want condoms if you’re Lot’s daughters in the cave!

        • David Walker

          True, there’s a time and place for everything.

        • grada3784

          Of course not. They wanted so much to give birth to their brothers.

          • Mrs. Councillor Nugent

            But they were such a nice family, I understand Mom was the salt of the earth.

          • grada3784

            So was mine. So much so, I got high blood pressure and had to cut back.

        • cleos_mom

          Considering how limited travel and communications were, it wouldn’t be surprising if they did believe they were the last humans on Earth.

          However, the postscript to the incestuous births strongly hint that this whole story was intended to highlight the dubious origins of Israel’s enemies and competitors.

      • vorpal

        Like the bible, they’re full of holes.

  • Jeffrey

    Christians are buying their propaganda from somewhere else maybe, but soon the government will probably hand it out for free so all Christian stores may go out of business.

  • Rebecca Gardner
      • David Walker

        The two Corinthians agree.

          • Paul David

            I love that most of the Christians who see/saw/read about this don’t have any idea what second Corinthians 3:17 actually says.

            Nor do I, to be frank, but unlike them I am aware that the Bible is a book of garbage stories, historical factoids of dubious merit, and bullshit moral parables…all of which should be ignored and forgotten.

          • BearEyes

            you can sum it up in one word:
            retribution.

          • bzrd

            or taken with a pillar of salt

          • Mihangel apYrs

            try 1 Corinthians 13. Probably the only good thing self-hating homophobe Paul wrote

          • Paul David

            That’s my name!

          • Mihangel apYrs

            aw honey! the adjectives specifically exclude a nice boy like you!!

          • gewaite

            Which is why we should all be Gaynglicans?

          • Mihangel apYrs

            oh, I think not. It’s just that this chapter addresses hypocrisy among other things neatly and succinctly.

            It was meant as a response to the reference above to 1 Corinthians

          • olandp

            “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” Corinthians 3:17.

            Basically it says nothing like Don the Con, and that Palin woman.

          • Paul David

            That’s a bunch of vague bullshit there.

            I love all the false profundity in the Bible.

            Like, seriously, what the fuck is being said there?

            That “freedom” comes from adherence to Christianity? Because for that to make any sense at all you have to take the definition of “freedom,” throw it in the garbage, and then make up a new and totally different definition.

          • olandp

            “Slavery is freedom, war is peace…”

          • Franciscan

            Remember this is the convert Paul, formerly known as Saul of Tarsus, speaking to true believers about the virtues of the “New Convenant”: 13We are not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face to prevent the
            Israelites from seeing the end of what was passing away.
            14But
            their minds were made dull, for to this day the same veil remains when
            the old covenant is read. It has not been removed, because only in
            Christ is it taken away.
            15Even to this day when Moses is read, a veil covers their hearts.
            16But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away.
            17Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
            18And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplatea
            the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with
            ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
            This could all have been in a speech by Billy Graham and no one would have thought it remarkable. But in a right-wing political rally this seems to distinguish not only between true believers and old believers (Jews), but between true believers and those who wear the veil (Muslims). Obviously an appeal to religious prejudice.

          • Franciscan

            “Covenant” I mean, of course.

          • Paul David

            Blah blah blah. The Bible has nothing to say to anyone, throw it in the garbage.

          • ChrisMorley

            Muslims didn’t appear until well after Paul died. Mohammed the prophet was born in 570.
            Whatever’s veiled isn’t Muslims.

          • DenKen

            that verse is way too long for Trump to be able to concentrate on…5 words is the limit

          • dagobarbz, fine Italian shoes

            “Two Corinthians walk into a bar…”

        • Twitter-in-Chief✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

          To make it funnier, Donnie boy blamed it on Tony Perkin for writing down “2 Corinthians”

        • Mickey Bitsko

          Two Corinthians walk into a bar…

          • Philly Mike

            AND I blew one of them while the other watched, fun times

          • Ginger Snap

            So one of the Corinthians is a cuck?

          • Philly Mike

            Well actually both are, I blew them both and they took turns watching, I fibbed, I did not want to make myself look a slut.

          • KCMC
          • Paul David

            I wonder how many American Christians know that (1) Corinth is a place, and (2) that Corinthians are people who come from, or live in, Corinth?

            My guess: 1-2%.

          • olandp

            The Corinthians that really matters… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5361b01e930a164983e8d69dfd9a461b0d3f74727a0a069c4251b9e486795f3e.jpg

            Then again there is the “… rich Corinthian leather…”

          • cleos_mom

            I’m still at the stage of being initiated into the mysteries of Egyptian cotton.

          • grada3784

            It’s all the fault of Ricardo Montalban.

            KHAN!!!!!!!!!!

          • dagobarbz, fine Italian shoes

            I know that fine Corinthian leather is good for car seats.

          • ChrisMorley

            Bonus Points for Biblical Geography.

          • dagobarbz, fine Italian shoes

            GMTA…I didn’t see yours before posting that too! 🙂

        • David
      • vorpal
      • Goodboy

        Speaking of “biblical illiteracy”. Not that trumpolini is any worse then most of them anyways.

      • karmanot

        And those little crackers….don’t forget the little crackers!

      • tristram

        If the Bible is all they fucking need, how would there be Christian bookstores on every corner? How many Bibles is each of them going to buy?

    • Skokieguy [Larry]

      I didn’t realize Blanche Devereaux was an ordained minister.

    • margaretpoa

      The only difference between a Religion and a superstition is the degree of social acceptance each enjoys. I grant Franklin Graham for example, the same amount of respect that I grant the geniuses “casting spells” at the shitgibbon, which is none. (Can respect be measured in negative integers?)

    • Goodboy
    • Paul David

      A million upvotes!

    • perversatile
    • Todd20036

      Yup. Here is a Christian store using the Christian bible to discriminate Christianly.

      But their failure isn’t because God hates them, isn’t because not enough customers bought their crap, isn’t because too many people have goeent sick of religion as an excuse to hate on people, isn’t because the whole “God is behind all of our minutia, but ignores starving children in Africa, China, Korea, and the Middle East” is a bunch of warm crap.

      No, that would require introspection. They failed because they weren’t Christian enough.

      Well I haven’t worshiped in a church EVER. And I’m a millionaire.

      And not because God “loves me” more than some other poor shmo.

      It’s because I was lucky enough to be born to a middle income family, with talents in mathematics, and wise enough not to do what society told me I was supposed to do.

      But hell, try tell that to the Bible fuckers, and all you’ll get are smirks and blank stares.

  • liondon#iamnotatraitor

    … also you need to have that fine balance between hate, victimhood…. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/87a271f829bb84e700a66672da79a49fe659819f1766da7ea4050ef4aefe3a5e.jpg ….And fashion sense.

    • David Walker

      Oh my god. That is priceless. Thank you.

    • vorpal
      • Clive Johnson

        I’m torn between venomous and mating display, or maybe seasonal molting.

      • Robincho

        It’s the rare Phalænopsis that has a face…

        • liondon#iamnotatraitor

          What do Filpinos have to do with this? …..mmmmm…..now I got a craving for adobo

          • grada3784

            Filipino guys are hot. Any time, every time.

          • Robincho

            I’ll send you the answer in a vanilla envelope…

      • Phil2u
      • Acronym Jim

        I’m imagining that he just did a Broadway spin before moving into a step-ball-change.

      • Mickey Bitsko

        Apropos of something, “cobra” comes from the Portuguese cobra de capello, meaning snake with a hood.

      • Paul David

        One of my favorite memes recently was a picture of “Cool” Pope Frankie sitting on a golden throne that’s encrusted with a fuck ton of jewels, and above him is a quote about how we need to help the poor in one way or another.

        Underneath it says, “perhaps you could start by selling the golden throne you’re sitting on?”

        That pretty much sums up Catholicism.

        The only “Cool” Pope would be the one who is (1) elected, (2) issues a confession that the entire religion is a massive scam, and (3) dissolves the church and distributes profits from selling the 1,853,743 golden thrones they own to the poor.

        Call me when we have a “cool” Pope who does that, then he’ll have my support.

        • vorpal

          It’s the same garbage, over and over again, like with Benny Hinn. Now we have Charismatic Christianity, IIRC, where if you give enough, god will triple your investments or no money back. The JSX = Jesus Stock eXchange.

          It’s stupid people falling over themselves in a desperate attempt to make themselves rich and buy themselves a better life by giving their money to scam artists.

          The Catholic church has just had longer to perfect it and has no idea what to do with all that coin, so they buy the tackiest, most expensive crap they can imagine.

          These are supposedly our moral leaders.

          If someone asked me to sit on a golden throne and it wasn’t some kind of sexy euphemism, I would tell them to fuck off.

      • perversatile
      • DenKen

        ..who knew the Pope was uncut

    • Paul David

      That sounds like a Eurythmics lyric.

  • Fifth-and-a-Half Element

    Bible, pen and paper, huh?

    “Their children also shall be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses shall be spoiled, and their wives ravished.”

    • Ernest Endevor

      You say ‘potato’, I say ‘rape and pillage’.

    • Steverino

      The fundamentalist version of that passage has been revised: “Their houses shall be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their wives shall be spoiled, and their children ravished.”

  • Ernest Endevor

    You’re correct. It does sound funny.

  • Carl

    So they went out of business because they weren’t mean and tribal enough. ;/

    • bkmn

      And yet Trump’s virtually non-existant love of God is good enough for the fundies.

      • David Walker

        45 is not a xn, but he COULD be.

        • bzrd

          no, he’s god, silly
          remember,
          “Only I can get of ISIS
          Only I can bring back the manufacturing jobs
          Only I can build the biggest and bestest wall
          Only I will make the military great again
          Only I will get rid of the terrorists
          Only I am the smartest to not pay income taxes,
          etc. “

        • Paula

          Don’t you remember? He’s a baby x-tian!

      • Goodboy

        Trump understands the basics enough. Show that you hate the homo’s and darkies.

    • Snarkaholic

      I thought it was because of that ham (and cheese(!) sandwich the owner ate for lunch.

    • Uncle Mark

      Perhaps if they also sold guns, as their Lord had commanded them to do somewhere in the Book of Armaments…maybe even a holy hand grenade, they would still be in business
      https://youtu.be/xOrgLj9lOwk

  • Joe in PA

    Mystical, contemplative spirituality, weird experiential-driven claptrap….

    Wait, I thought that’s what religion was to begin with. I’m so confused.

    • Rebecca Gardner

      Not enough hate, torture, murder, and war.

    • BobSF_94117

      No, no. You’re supposed to pick up a book, study it, take notes, think for yourself, and then, if and only if you reach the same conclusions as your GOP congresscritter, you’re in!

  • bkmn

    Our Jeebie is better than your Jeebie!

  • TexasBoy

    Obviously, they didn’t pray hard enough.

  • Max_1
  • Ron Romero

    If Christians actually read the bible, there would be more Atheists than ever before.

    • BobSF_94117

      The really transformative thing is a class in Comparative Religion, especially one with an emphasis on historical assimilation.

      • Clive Johnson

        Yes! Comparative religion classes should be a requirement in the public schools.

        • Was in mine back in the first of the 70’s. Bet it’s gone now.

      • Dazzer

        And exams.

        Nothing knocks the religion out of you faster than knowing that you’ll have to write essays on the topic that will be marked.

      • Nowhereman

        I had a course like that in high school in the 60s. I found it really useful. When you’re an atheist, it’s good to know what religious people believe.

    • charemor

      Exactly! How many times have you heard so called christ-stains say “I haven’t read the buy-bull, but I know what is in there”?

      • Goodboy

        Every single one that I knew including my own family. When my loving Christian dad kicked me out of the house for being gay he had to have his pastor highlight the anti gay (leviticus) stuff out so that he could justify himself. He knew it was there. Just didn’t know where to find it. This was a guy that went to church every Sunday too.

        • Todd20036

          You are better off without him

          • Goodboy

            Yep. 28 years ago and no regrets too.

    • Christopher
      • DesertSun59

        Yep. That’s how it worked for me.

      • zhera

        Oooh, does anyone have that gif from Firefly where River is ripping apart Sheperd’s bible?

        • Paul David

          Oh please oh please oh please!

        • Ginger Snap

          That was a great scene. Yes I’m a Firefly geek.

      • perversatile
        • charliebkk

          Or at the liquor store. I always suspected that the prevalence of drive-thru windows at liquor stores in the deep south was so that the Baptists didn’t have to risk bumping into each other inside.

        • Tim Patterson

          Born agains don’t recognize each other in restroom stalls, either.

    • Nowhereman

      I think it was Mark Twain who said that the best cure for christianity was to read the buybull.

    • Jamie Brewer

      I have been the “dumping ground” for much of the families possessions as people died off. Doing a recent clean out I found more handed down/never read bibles of all sizes. With the exception of the bible with family history written by my great grandmother, all the rest went to the thrift store. It was very a cathartic experience…

  • edrex

    speaking of… anyone hear how last night’s wiccan trump hexing went? i meant to stick some pins in a carrot, but i was having a date night out with hubs and totally forgot.

  • DaddyRay

    Everyone knows you have to play with his nipples while loving Jesus

  • IAMBOWLINGGREEN

    People are just not that interested in buying christian families anymore…

    • pj

      or reading material

    • Gustav2

      You would think they would be at a premium since there are so few.

    • Once people get them home, they discover that so many are broken and dysfunctional that they have no choice but to return them for a full refund.

      • JW Swift

        You mean I could have returned them for a refund? Damn! I could have used the cash.

  • David Walker

    If/When The Truly Religious take over the government and xnty becomes the only religion allowed, this will be the result. “No, it’s MY religion.” “No it’s not. Jeebus specifically said this…” “Fuck you! This is what PAUL said.” “Go to hell! WE are the only ones who know what the bible REALLY means.” “Christ said…” “Who cares what Christ said? This is what he MEANT.” I’ll hate the reality of the takeover, but I’ll enjoy the weekly turnover.

    • pj

      then they will all pull out their guns…..

    • And we will turn into every other country that has a war that is wholly religion based. Or it will usher in a new form of the Inquisition, where every single movement will be judged on the base of ones faith.

      • Hue-Man

        I’ve tried to understand the differences between Sunni and Shia and failed miserably. I can understand the original power struggle but have no idea how their religious beliefs are different. Even the NYT provides zero guidance:

        How do their beliefs differ?

        The Sunni and Shiite sects of Islam encompass a wide spectrum of doctrine, opinion and schools of thought. The branches are in agreement on many aspects of Islam, but there are considerable disagreements within each. Both branches include worshipers who run the gamut from secular to fundamentalist. Shiites consider Ali and the leaders who came after him as imams. Most believe in a line of 12 imams, the last of whom, a boy, is believed to have vanished in the ninth century in Iraq after his father was murdered. Shiites known as Twelvers anticipate his return as the Mahdi, or Messiah. Because of the different paths the two sects took, Sunnis emphasize God’s power in the material world, sometimes including the public and political realm, while Shiites value in martyrdom and sacrifice.

        https://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/04/world/middleeast/q-and-a-how-do-sunni-and-shia-islam-differ.html

        • Now imagine explaining the difference between Lutherans and Methodists to a Hindu. Most of these splits are political or cultural rather than doctrinal.

          • Hue-Man

            I sometimes wonder if the different sects can explain their differences; maybe Lutherans and Methodists can but all the various Talibangelicals, I’m not so sure.
            Someone posted this song earlier this week.
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTBx-hHf4BE

          • The clergy can explain the difference, but I doubt that many of the people in the pews can. They don’t know and frankly they don’t care. For a long time now the trend has been that church-going people join the church they like best when they relocate based on programs and the community there, not based on beliefs. Within some boundaries of course. But most people have very little identity tied up in being Presbyterian, Lutheran or whatever. Most of those differences were once based on national origin or regional differences that no longer define their great-grandchildren.

          • cleos_mom

            That was what our family did when we relocated from Wisconsin to Miami in the early 1950s. My dad was raised Congregationalist and my mom (northern) Baptist.

            I ended up being raised as a Presbyterian.

          • Beagle

            Now imagine explaining the various branches of Lutheranism….

          • gewaite

            One is Prussian, the other Scandinavian.

        • I also am at sea trying to understand the differences between the Muslim branches. It’s as muddy as trying to untangle the differences between Lutherans and Presbyterians. But what leaves me totally befuddled is why does it matter? Are these differences that important to bring people to violence? Why can’t you worship as you see fit, and let be at peace to worship my way, aren’t they all at the base bedrock a belief system in one god?

          • Hue-Man

            I understand the violence as similar to the catholic-protestant violence over the past five centuries – you are a heretic and don’t deserve to live. I can even understand the fundamentalist vs secular split; I’ve known and worked with Muslims (Ismailis) in Vancouver (after they were kicked out of Uganda by Idi Amin in the early 1970s) and many are near-secular in their religious observance. They couldn’t be any different from Wahhabists.

            As for the Sunni/Shia split, who knows? Maybe it’s just a 1400 year old grudge!

    • cleos_mom

      The history of monotheistic religions does suggest that outcome.

  • Sam_Handwich

    Ash Wednesday is next week. now where will i get my yard decorations??

    • David Walker

      At the close-out sale.

    • MB

      Herby-Lerby ???

      Erh-mah-gerd !#$?%$#@!!?!

    • Gustav2

      You can come over and clean out our fireplace.

    • I don’t know anything about ash wed. But I do know a little something about Mardi Gras.
      /s

      • Mike_in_the_Tundra

        Fat Tuesday is more fun than Ash Wednesday.

    • cleos_mom

      The day before (Shrove Tues) you could do something involving pancakes. If you’re a Boris Pasternak fan, make that pancakes and vodka.

      • gewaite

        That would be Orthodox Butter Week, the time just before Clean Monday, though.

  • Boreal
  • “make real disciples?” is that like “make a fish and chips box from LJS into enough to feed an urban high school for a day?”

    oh, how i hate that language.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok
    • Hue-Man

      I’ve been trying to figure out empathy, sympathy, compassion, altruism and related words. Here’s what I’ve found (I’m not sure I would use them correctly even after reading this):

      sympathy is feeling compassion, sorrow, or pity for the hardships that another person encounters, while empathy is putting yourself in the shoes of another.

      http://blog.dictionary.com/empathy-vs-sympathy/

      While empathy refers more generally to our ability to take the perspective of and feel the emotions of another person, compassion is when those feelings and thoughts include the desire to help. Altruism, in turn, is the kind, selfless behavior often prompted by feelings of compassion, though one can feel compassion without acting on it, and altruism isn’t always motivated by compassion.

      http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/compassion/definition

      • Nowhereman

        The biggest divider in this country is empathy. Conservatives are born without the empathy gene.

  • fastlanestranger

    Jesus wants a family store with a slow hand.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok
    • Ginger Snap

      Just like UFO sightings.

  • Skokieguy [Larry]

    This was keeping my up nights. I’ve been waiting for World Net Daily to weigh in on the REAL cause of their failure. Thank goodness this critical issue has finally been put to rest.

  • Chris H.

    Aren’t these the same line of people who are always protesting “free market” and let the market decide? Well the market decided they don’t need cheap made in China religious crap.

  • TimJ

    3000 jobs? Thanks Donald.

  • Hunter M

    I thought it was because they were the “Wrong” kind of Christians.

    • Jeffg166

      They didn’t hate enough in the name of Jesus. Go out and kick a homeless person. Scream at them to get a job just like Jesus did.

  • Michael R
    • Sam_Handwich

      that picture is missing something … like maybe a kitten asking for a cheezburger

      • bzrd

        taco bowl

    • Dale082

      That is too damn funny! I -literally- laughed out load!

  • SFHarry

    It’s great watching them go after each other. It gives us a one minute rest.

  • margaretpoa

    I find it much more likely that they failed because “Christian” and “family” have become synonymous with hate.

  • HZ81

    Well, obviously!

  • David
  • Tomcat

    So it is true they eat their own.

  • MBear

    “They didn’t love Jeebus properly” = “They didn’t get the balls”, “They didn’t swallow”

    • David Walker

      We need to talk.

  • mjsatty

    If all you need is bible,pen,and notebook,why would it be necessary to have a Christian bookstore on every corner?

  • Lars Littlefield

    They also sold the canned flesh of babies used in satanic rituals and labeled it “Vienna Sausage.” No one ever mentions that.

  • another_steve
      • another_steve

        Well, if God did truly create that for my edification and salvation, all I can say is that God has very good taste indeed.

          • David Walker

            As they say at their weeknight praise service, “Bingo!”

          • another_steve

            Pray with me, won’t you?

            ——————

            O most merciful and immaculate thing in the sky, we give thee thanks and praise for the male pectoral muscles. In your wisdom and mercy you have presented them to us so that life can, on occasion, be less than totally miserable.

            We ask this in the name of our missing FedEx deliveries.

            Amen.

          • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

            And may the rippled abs also be forever with you.
            Amen.

  • Mark Née Fuzz

    Wherever am I going there find my Christian themed tchotchkes now?

    • David Walker

      Stock up now during their sense off clearance sale.

  • MB

    They probably had their lobbies filled with Chick-tracts. Fucking morons.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/de560fa1c1a5b060f2028f2b7112689a01c94dcb045fec279656d70421518fbc.gif

  • ByronK

    Maybe the pins and baby carrot brigade took them down.

  • Secure

    No Christian sex toys. That’s why.

  • Ray Page

    My thoughts and prayers are not with them.

  • aar9n

    My christian mom would always worry when I was reading a book other than the Bible.

    • grada3784

      Harry Potter!!!!!!

  • GayOldLady

    There are over 40,000 different christian denominations in the world all claiming to know the “truth”. It seems to me that if there was a shred of truth in the claims of any of these religions it would unite them all. Organized religion is just a money making scheme that uses fear and punishment to intimidate believers into anteing up.

    • ByronK

      I remember being about 11 and announcing at dinner that I realized that all these different religions were just “worshipping” the same thing. Dinner went downhill from there. Once I told my father I didn’t trust the US Gov’t info anymore than I did the USSRs. He called my a Communist and stormed out of the room. LOL. The good old days.

  • vorpal
    • MB

      What does Gawd need with a rocketship ???

      • David Walker

        It’s a lightning rod that rarely works.

      • Lars Littlefield

        My thought exactly.

      • vorpal

        Heavy artillery in the War on Christmas.

      • cleos_mom

        Why would the biblical god need to send scouts to scope out the moral climate of a city? And why, if the “End Times” are near in this 21st century C.E., would that god’s army be on horseback and carrying swords?

      • perversatile
    • William

      That thing will never get off the ground.

  • karmanot

    Yes, the Babel is certainly more fun. It’s got murder, genocide. incest, fratricide, and a whole host of evils that an asshole male gawd reigns down and punishes humankind because he loves us.

    • David Walker

      Now you’re getting the hang of it.

  • OrangeJesus

    Help me Jeebus!

  • Gustav2

    Roundheads Unite!

  • Princess Lardass

    Christians at WND can’t even show love for their fellow Christians.

    • Boreal

      No money in it for them to feign compassion.

    • Mike_in_the_Tundra

      They only deal with hate.

  • Chris

    If the only Christian resource they need is a bible and a notebook….how would that support a Christian bookstore on every corner?

  • Blake J Butler
    • charemor

      Wonderful!

    • djcoastermark

      Wrong on so many levels, but yet so funny.

  • Mike_in_the_Tundra

    I grew up attending an evangelical church. They don’t want there congregations being Biblically literate. That way, the congregations believe whatever the pastor tells them.

    • M Jackson

      Don’t the Catholics also operate that way?

      • Mike_in_the_Tundra

        I’m a lot less familiar with them, but I believe so.

      • charemor

        Yes.

      • bzrd

        remember BLOTUS
        “I love the uneducated !”

      • grada3784

        Catholics are Bible PLUS Traditions. Traditions that come in large part from the Infancy Gospels.

  • TuuxKabin

    “Family Christian Stores fire sale . . . ” what? No brimstone?

  • Uncle Mark

    It’s rather odd that the Christian wingnuts at WND aren’t turning this news into some kind of foreshadowing of ‘end times’ as they are wont to do…but instead are claiming that the business failed because they are too progressive and not hateful enough.

    Then again, they have their own living prophet of hate to follow. (Who needs a book now?). Plus, his followers (like their prophet) don’t like reading anyway

  • Acronym Jim

    Well, that’s quite an ad for “Jesus Calling.” It’s too bad WND didn’t denigrate Family Christian Stores before this, otherwise they might have been able to stay in business.

  • ceeenbee

    The. Mythological sky-faerie is such a delicate snowflake.

  • CatApostrophe

    CLAPTRAP!

    • Cackalaquiano

      Same as jiggery pokery?

      • CatApostrophe

        Pure applesauce!

    • David

      Isn’t that what their employees spread in the back storeroom?

  • Macbill

    They didn’t have a Pastafarian section. Of course it failed.

  • JaniceInToronto

    I would strongly endorse reading the bible. We need more atheists, and the bible creates lots of them…

    • Dreaming Vertebrate

      Lol – That is exactly how this little green dino discovered the joy of a gawd-free life.

  • I am becoming increasingly convinced that the Earth is the galaxy’s designated insane asylum.

    • vorpal

      Wrong: cats.

  • geoffalnutt

    Even bullshit won’t save you. Damn.

  • Cuberly
  • Paula

    I think I will skip the Going Out of Business Sale. Is that O.K. with all of you?

  • DesertSun59

    Amusing. You see, the exact opposite is true. If people actually read the Bible they would discover the following: The Judeo-Christian deity is a genocidal maniac – and he makes sure you understand that to a T. The Torah was written for and by tribal Jews during the Bronze Age. It contains a string of false claims, fake characters (patriarchs) and invented histories. Built within it’s very core is an invented problem (the fall of Mankind) and a fake solution (Jesus in the NT) to said invented problem.

    No one alive today is a Bronze Age tribal Jew nor a Roman Age Christian. Not a single word of the inventions within that set of manuals applies to 21st century civilization.

    And that’s why televangelists don’t want you to read it.

    • Bj Lincoln

      YES!

  • JT

    “Biblical illiteracy”. LOL. Yes, Virginia, there is a right way to fly this cross thingy.
    https://assets.wired.com/photos/w_660/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/tumblr_n85zy3SPTD1rt28efo1_500.gif

  • zhera

    Anyone who uses the phrase social justice progressivism in a negative way can go fuck themselves. With a gigantic cross.

    • Uncle Mark

      Like this? (I can’t believe I’ve used this twice today)
      https://youtu.be/FLCgThbzmkc

      • zhera

        Bigger cross. Much bigger.

    • cleos_mom

      “FEAR THE PRIEST!”

  • Nowhereman

    “Biblical illiteracy” made me laugh.

    • margaretpoa

      I assembled a book at work yesterday that claimed that “the Bible isn’t just a “history book”. WTF? When was the Bible ever a “history book”?

      • bzrd

        historical fiction

        • Reality.Bites

          Not necessarily historical fiction either, as that is generally based on some known facts

          • bzrd

            facts:
            people were born
            fidtional stories
            then they died

      • bambinoitaliano

        History that spurred the creation of fictional literature and entertainment business.

        • JW Swift

          Not to mention that HUGE hit, the Spanish Inquisition.
          (But nobody expected it.)

      • Bj Lincoln

        Some want it taught to our kids as another ‘theory’ to science and incorporate it into our history books as facts.

      • Nowhereman

        Well, Betsy DeVos wants to deliver public school children to Jesus, so it may just be the new history and science book. I’m trying to imagine future generations building space ships using cubits and hands…

    • BearEyes

      about the only thing close to right in the article.

      • Nowhereman

        It’s like a doubleplus negative oxymoran!

  • TheManicMechanic

    Insane raving by lunatic minds, all of this godshitting jesusfuckery.

  • bambinoitaliano

    So there’s not enough incest, pedophilia, rape, molestation and general hate-fuck within their so call Christian families to sustain the business?

  • bsinps

    Pity

  • Max_1
    • Hue-Man

      Did they run out of Swastikas?

    • Bj Lincoln

      Perfect.

  • Max_1

    The generational shift is happening…

    https://twitter.com/BraddJaffy/status/835257473602826240

    • KCMC

      Dang!

    • ByronK

      Maybe she had to resort to one of them at some point.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      The shift needs to happen faster and be less concentrated and less gerrymandered.

  • Could it just be that they are having the same problem that all music and book stores are having?

    • Bj Lincoln

      I’m thinking a combination of the two. The thing is each person and/or bible study will come to a conclusion that best fits their needs anyway. They will be as different as the articles and books they have access to on the internet. The interpretations of one book are as different as each one of us. That is why religion is personal and should stay personal. It should not be part of the workplace, public places or business.

  • Patrick

    Does this mean was the “Jesus” Cheez whiz sandwich wrong?

  • Paul David

    When I was in grad school there was this “Christian supply store” in the city…I remember driving past it occassionally and thinking, “what in the fuck is ‘Christian’ supply?”

    These religionists are SO FUCKING WEIRD it’s absolutely fascinating…they’d almost be quaint if they didn’t want to push us all into the oven at the first chance.

    • Think of it as Office Max for churches.

      • Paul David

        So…unneeded religious supplies and various types of propaganda?

    • David

      Aren’t they usually located inbetween the local porn shop and liquor warehouse?

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    OT: I’m just curious if anybody here has ever ordered this. It’s a cat scratcher that’s also a lounge. Or do cats basically prefer the box these things come in?

    https://www.amazon.com/PetFusion-Scratcher-Cardboard-Construction-unverified/dp/B004X6UEH6/ref=sr_1_1?s=pet-supplies&ie=UTF8&qid=1488042837&sr=1-1&keywords=petfusion

    I find it funny that the first listed customer question is whether the cat is included.

  • Bj Lincoln

    Funny thing is the ‘spiritual’ in my area are doing very well. I go occasionally to pick up supplies and books. I collect pretty stones as a kind of hobby and always find something interesting in the jewelry. I always talk to the owners and over the last few years several have mentioned how good business has been. Christian churches are not as full as they used to be. I have seen large lots half full, often less. I think that is a better indicator of what is going on than talking to someone from either side.

  • bambinoitaliano

    The hypocrisy of religion is the suppression of sexual desire. And we see the results of that from all the sex crimes committed by these so call God loving people. It also drove away many potential subscribers. Short of turning the confessional booths into glory holes the business of religion is doom. Those that are thriving are con men pyramid scheme cults that has nothing to do with religion.

  • clay

    “their best Christian resources are a Bible, pen and notebook, . . . there would be a thriving Christian bookstore on every street corner.”

    That would be one shit-ton of pens and notebooks for a (successful) store on every corner.

    • Earl

      If you put such a store on every corner, you’d have a good number of bankrupt stores. 🙂

      Variety. 🙂

      • bzrd

        because taco trucks

        • Andymac3

          Bibles, with a fold out Taco Bowl.

        • Mike_in_the_Tundra

          I see nothing wrong with a taco truck on every corner.

        • Earl

          They can survive on every corner. 🙂

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    “https://i.imgflip.com/1kbuge.gif” title=”

  • Oh, Parker

    I’m glad I’m not Christian. You slip up the least little bit and don’t do something the way they think it should be done and boy, do you ever get thrown under a bus quick…

  • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

    The only thing they didn’t sell is a moral compass.

    https://i1.wp.com/forward-now.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Moral-Compass.gif

    That’s what Xtianists are sorely lacking.

  • Mark

    Hey Toneeta, Frankie, et al – Did you hear that?? You ain’t needed no mo’ !

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Jesus wept. I laughed a little bit.

  • Bluto

    They should of installed a Slurpee machine.

    • Andymac3

      Or a Dunkin Donuts

    • David

      And one of those cool bungee jump contraptions. They have one at the local mall.

  • dagobarbz, fine Italian shoes

    “It is a sign of our times that when I tell audiences or readers that their best Christian resources are a Bible, pen and notebook, I hear laughter from the audience…”

    We’re probably laughing because you’re dismissing other flavors of your own religion as invalid, while exhorting people to read a book that has at least 25 versions floating around.

    Which one’s the Real Bible, huh?

  • Mike

    I love it when christian churchies crow that a roof blew off, or a house was flooded, or a business went bankrupt because people were too decent, too good, too attentive to the needs of their neighbors, in opposition to bible teachings, so babyjebus let them have it between the eyes.

    • Paula Key

      Did Trump secretly take it over.? LOL

  • -M-

    “Christian bookstores would be thriving on every corner.”? Selling nothing but notebooks?

    More importantly, as Joe pointed out they’re telling people that they have to support the vain, adulterous, lying, thieving, pussygrabber politically to be a Christian.

  • lymis

    So, if I read this correctly, the bookstore chain would have done better if they’d only carried one book and nothing else.

    Because that was totally going to work.

  • cleos_mom

    Apparently Missouri wasn’t one of those 36 states; I never heard of them. But mystical, contemplative spirituality, weird experiential-driven claptrap,
    and social justice progressivism passes today for Christian resources
    did give me a laugh so there’s that.

  • boatboy_srq

    I love how they focus on biblical illiteracy, when functional illiteracy is a far bigger problem.

  • Nic Peterson

    Ecclesiastical slut shaming. Classy!

  • James

    Yes. They should all be reading the Bible in its original Classical Hebrew and Aramaic.

  • Octoberfurst

    Yeah those bookstores went under because they had books that criticized Trump, promoted justice & peace and taught contemplative practices. Oh the horror. We all know they would have been doing just fine if they had just carried books that promoted the demonization of gays, Muslims, secularists and anyone to the left of Attila the Hun. You know, REAL Christian books! Books Jeebus would love.

  • anne marie in philly

    GOOD! who needs their shit made in china (no doubt)!

  • E.J.
    • David

      The Vatican gift shop. They have then in every ethnicity.

  • lattebud

    I can just see know when they in front of a bankruptcy court, “Our sincerely head religious values are that we should keep all the assets and you should wipe away our debts.”

  • Ginger Snap

    It’s hard selling christian books to christians when they spend so much time on porn sites.

  • leastyebejudged

    Their web site doesn’t look half bad. How do you compete with WalMart though.

  • If all you’re reading is the Bible, why would you need a Christian bookstore on every corner?

  • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

    What, we gays weren’t behind this?

    We need to step up our game.

  • Michael

    What would WND know about Jesus?

  • CrimsonShadow89

    Wait…so….if Christians only ever read the Bible, then Bible book stores would be able to sell Christians millions of books to not read?

  • Manny Espinola

    Wow. Beating a dead horse much?

  • Robert Adams

    If all Christians already have a Bible, why do they need another? Too bad the Family Christian Stores didn’t utilize the marketing techniques used by the NRA.

  • lonbo

    “It is a sign of our times that when I tell audiences or readers that their best Christian resources are a Bible, pen and notebook…”
    Amen to that! A “Bible, pen and a notebook” are what took me up the yellow brick road from pastor to atheist. I highly recommend it. Add thought in place of prayer and you’re golden. Cheers!