Colbert Tees Off Of Trump’s Insane Presser [VIDEO]

Entertainment Weekly recaps:

“It’s kind of hard to characterize the press conference,” the host admitted in a clip from Thursday’s episode. “Words fail me.” He wasn’t the only one; the show then jumped to a clip of a Fox News anchor saying, “Well, alrighty then,” when Trump finished speaking.

Colbert went on, “He started off by defending the rough start his administration has had by immediately attacking America’s true enemy — anybody but him.” During his press conference, Trump said that he “inherited a mess.” To which Colbert responded, “No, you inherited a fortune, we elected a mess.”

  • Michael R

    ” Make America Alrighty Then “

  • Michael R
    • Dramphooey

      That was probably created during the campaign. Now there are a bunch of passenger cars labeled “USA” attached to it. We’re in the lounge car where we always are.

      • actually, it was Back to the Future 3. 🙂

        • Dramphooey

          The alterations, smarty pants!

    • JCF

      A “well tuned machine”.

  • Chris H.

    “No, you inherited a fortune. We elected a mess”- Colbert

    HAHA

    • “we?” i didn’t know you were a Russian hacker.

      • David Walker

        To be honest, with this cold, I can do is hack.

  • AtticusP
    • Mike_in_the_Tundra

      I said to my husband, “We’re fucked.”

      • GayOldLady

        I said to my wife, “The Bastard is going to kill us all”.

      • Todd20036

        And then you let me in. RIght?

    • Todd20036

      I’d buy that cap

    • FlKeysKevin

      I would buy that. In fact, I just searched online to try to buy one.

  • RepublicansRNotConservative

    He’s using English words but makes no sense. Scatterbrained NPD jackass.

    • Frank Conway

      Did he and Sarah Palin go to school together to learn how to be so articulate?

  • Joe in PA
    • GayOldLady

      Make that two.

      • vorpal

        Add a couple hundred milligrams of morphine to mine, please.
        Alcohol alone cannot possibly numb the pain of this press conference.

        • Waarki

          I’ll have 45 mg of psilocybin …please.
          See later alligator!!!

          • vorpal

            I don’t know the standard (I’m sure it varies wildly) number of mg of 4-HO-DMT / 4-PO-DMT per g of dried mushrooms, but I had my first mushroom experience two weekends ago (8g) and it was pretty crazy. I kept teleporting around the house, never ending up where I intended to go.

            I’d rather just take a nice pretty pile of 85 mg of 4-AcO-MET than have to choke down the nasty swill that is mushrooms again.

          • sach2

            I’m not sure what 4-AcO-MET is. But I take umbrage at your disparagement of my favorite illicit drug. (I’ll admit they taste like swill or worse.) but worth it, and the high only lasts a few hours unlike LSD.

          • vorpal

            4-AcO-MET (metacin) is just another tryptamine, like psilocin and psilocybin. They’re quite similar in most regards.

            The nice thing about 4-AcO-MET is that I can order it directly to my door from a lovely variety of internet vendors in powdered format since I don’t think it’s currently illegal anywhere. Also, I like to know precisely how much of a drug I’m taking, and with the psilocybin content of mushrooms varying quite a bit between species / batches, you can never be sure. With a nice 99% pure powder and a mg precise scale, you know exactly.

            I tend to be stupidly resistant to hallucinogens, and require massive doses to get even a fraction of the effects of other people. Really annoying. For example, I’ve been playing with LSD analogues lately (also legal in most places) and ALD-52 in particular. Most people have a wild and crazy time on 150 ug. I took 600 ug my first time and was pretty unimpressed.

            2C-E is the one hallucinogen that is a BEAST for me. Lasts for 10-12 hours with crazy hyperactivity and awesome mindspace. It just throws off my schedule so much that I can’t do it often. Like you seem to, I prefer drugs that don’t drag on and on and on forever. About four to six hours and I’m good.

            I prefer dissociative drugs by far: give me some deschloroketamine, 3-MeO-PCP, or DXM any day. I actually have the chemical structure of DXM tattooed on my upper right shoulder, and the chemical structure of 2C-C tattooed on my upper left pec.

          • sach2

            Wow, I just get high. Not so much into the molecular structure.

            I’m going to print this out so as to be a more informed consumer.

            4-AcO-MET (metacin), I’m going have to search this up! Does it work similar to mushrooms but in a tablet form?

            Thanks for the knowledge, I’ll have to take my occasional drug-doing a bit more seriously. 😉

          • vorpal

            I love, love, love neuropharmacology. It fascinates me how a small pile of molecules can alter the function of the brain so dramatically. It’s an alien concept to me that someone can take these substances and not know the chemical structure. (Then again, LOL, admittedly, I don’t know the chemical structures of most of the foods I put in my body.)

            What I would actually suggest you look up is 4-AcO-DMT.
            The hypothesis about 4-acetoxy-substituted tryptamines (4-AcO-blahT) is that they are metabolized in the liver into 4-HO-blahT. So many people say that 4-AcO-DMT actually turns into psilocin (4-HO-DMT) directly. I have had one really interesting experience with it, and it was quite profound.

            4-AcO-MET is nice, for me, because it is short, with low body load, and super fun. The only difference between 4-AcO-MET and psilocin, for example, is that on the nitrogen atom, you have an ethyl group instead of two methyl groups (DMT = di-methyl, MET = methyl-ethyl) and the acetoxy form (AcO) over the hydroxy form (HO). It is a really lovely substance and more visually appealing to me, and often results in me rolling around naked in the grass outside listening to good music and laughing my ass off hysterically. A true celebration of myself and the universe. Hard to go wrong with it.

            I just love this stuff :-). I missed my calling as a psychedelic theoretical neurochemist, I think.

            There is a whole world of fascinating research chemicals out there, based largely on mescaline and psilocin / psilocybin. They are all whacky and wild and wonderful and many of them are legal because the governments can’t keep up with the modifications, so you can generally order powders of them to your door from websites and they arrive just fine, ready for you to enjoy, without the hassle of purchasing possibly dirty street drugs that have been through many hands.

            Like I said, I prefer dissociatives, and enjoy analogues of ketamine and PCP quite often. I should have some deschloroketamine coming my way in the next few days. Just passed through customs (they can’t stop it, as there are no laws against it) and en route to me.

    • billbear1961
      • Joe in PA

        Thank you Mister Bear! 🙂

        • billbear1961

          XO

      • Gerry Fisher

        bears!

    • Stephen Elliot Phillips

      Ill have what michael jackson used to get a good nights sleep

  • Ernest Endevor

    I know I’m shallow but I could not get past Colbert’s appalling suit. Doesn’t fit him anywhere. The top button on a two-button suit should not be just below a man’s tits. I know our trend-setting younger brothers wear such things and perhaps it’s okay if you’re in your 20s and haunt Bloomingdales, but at Mr C’s age those skinny pants and the way-too-tight jacket just make your ass look fat. Watching that jacket ride up every time he moved his arms is a serious distraction. Well, I did warn you you I’m shallow. And no, I’ve never seen the show before.

    • Gustav2

      It is the “style.” For some reason every man is supposed to look like the 10 year old child in the suit he parents bought him when he was 8.

      In ‘Goodbye, Mr Chips’ there is a running joke that a certain family’s boys always look like they have grown out of their trousers…that’s the look. Ugh.

      And put on a pair of damn socks!

      • Ernest Endevor

        Right. Have we learned nothing from the Obama presidency? He was always stylish if not of the most current style. And if one wasn’t always entirely convinced by the fit of the back of his jacket, he looked like a grown-up who knew what he was doing. And if one is 25 and still has that thin, vertical body a case can be made for the top button to be up under your armpit, but Colbert merely looks like mutton dressed as lamb. Plus it’s so distracting! How does he manage to breathe? I found the whole stand-up routine a sad diminution of his old schtick. But then, I’m not one for late-night chit-chat.

        • Gustav2

          I also forgot to tell all the men’s fashion designers to get off of my lawn.

          • Ernest Endevor

            Well, we through periods. I stopped wearing jeans when I was 50. And I’m in very good shape. But he’s wearing bespoke suits presumably designed for him. So it’s weird that it’s so badly fitted.

          • ggg

            I don’t understand why people would stop wearing jeans at 50. To me, the great thing about jeans is that they are ageless and genderless. As far as I’m concerned anyone can wear them forever. Stop wearing short tight leather skirts or anything designed to look like a sexy 25-year old, but jeans? (Loose easygoing) Jeans are forever!

          • Ernest Endevor

            Personal taste? But good for you. I can admire them on others.

          • Richard G

            Agreed. In fact, I’m days from retirement, and have about fifteen pairs of 501s. Lost some weight – getting to a 32 – and gave away all other pants, keeping only one suit. Plus a few kilts – Utilikilts and some Scottish tartans. And if the Levi’s define me, well, that’s me. Shoulda happened a long time ago.

      • marshlc

        10 year old child in the Sunday suit his parents bought him when he was 8.
        ————–
        Yup, that’s exactly the look.

    • STFUQ

      Not just shallow, you’re fuckin’ vapid. And no fashionable gay man, young OR old, shops at Bloomingdale’s. Just shut the fuck up, queen.

      • Ernest Endevor

        Thank you for sharing.

    • JCF

      You do you. I thought Colbert was *outstanding* [As I posted this here last night, Joe. ;-/]

  • I didn’t watch the presser – no need to, I already knew how that would turn out. But just the clips Stephen used confirmed my worst suspicions … this is what happens when a pathological asshat is put in front of the microphone.
    Goddess help us, but where is Oswald when you really need him?

    • DonnaLee

      I’d rather see the highlights afterwards. And there were great ones!

  • billbear1961
  • JaniceInToronto

    He will be revered for generations to come as a fine, upstanding President.

    -Betsy DeVos

    • Lori

      Generations of Russians or Chinese maybe, Americans not so much.

      • JaniceInToronto

        Betsy will make sure the shitgibbon is portrayed as American Jesus.

        • Earl

          Only if there’s not a nuclear war. 🙂

        • Macbill

          In all the Science Books.

    • TuuxKabin

      Thee Betsy DeMented, DeRanged, DeLuded, DeVos? That one?

    • Gerry Fisher

      Keep repeating that, Betsey, Hon. Tell us when you start to believe it.

  • olandp

    He is unhinged.

  • greenmanTN

    The buck stops anywhere but here.

  • greenmanTN

    Need I remind you this dolt actually got elected? I have toenail clippings more qualified than this schmuck!

    For no good reason, a song I like because listening to music is better than primal screaming.

    https://youtu.be/RZwtWExDmoI

  • BlindBill

    And 45 is allowed to have one on one conversations with world leaders … Just so the GOP can get their agenda passed. Treasonist traitors all!

  • TuuxKabin
  • Mark

    There was this little nook of a bar – Fast Eddy’s – in Praia da Vitoria, on Terceira Island. The best part of Eddy’s (other than the cheap alcohol) was the great balance of locals and service guys/gals. There was always an old TV blaring away over in a corner and clippings from newspapers push-pinned on the walls. And I am wondering how our active duty service folks who are deployed to the many places around the globe, have to deal with it? I mean – how do you ‘splain away this fucking fool? I’d have to denounce any connection to him and/or the United States.

    • David Walker

      It’s my impression from the few friends I have in Europe that they’re still able and willing to separate him and his from the rest of us. Hillary won the popular vote. Neither they nor I fully understand the E. College thing. Even the whole “America First, (Fill-in-name-of-country) Second” is about him. I think our active service folks may still be not-confused re: 45. Plus, as he becomes more obviously unhinged, he’ll make the separation easier.

      • Paige Turner™

        Here in Australia we are able to separate you from your President. We did it with GHWB and we can do it with Trump as we view him as a bumbling idiot. We know that the USA will no put up with this for too long.

        • David Walker

          Thank you. I am glad to know that. btw, I was a professional page turner (that is, I turned pianist’s pages for them and got paid for it) and I thought Paige Turner would be a good name if I ever did drag. I see you’ve registered it. Rats.

          • Paige Turner™

            Maybe Lois Common – Denominator would be more appropriate?

            With the Orange one, don’t sweat it. Everyone outside of the USA can see it. Our media is very different and isn’t polluted by cable news as much which is odd given that Rupert Murdoch is Australian. Even Fox is having a tough time defending Trump because he is indefensible.

            Simply put, we don’t trust politicians and we know when we are being bullshitted and thats whats happening right now. We have no respect for the office of an elected official at the best of times but especially now.

            Our own PM is addressed by his first name by the media and anyone that he comes across in the general public. Trump will get nothing from us and wouldn’t dare try and visit.

            Trump cannot last. He hasn’t got the stamina or the ability to concentrate too long. This Russian issue will not go away and will only worsen. I give it 3-6 months.

          • David Walker

            Good to know.
            Another name I’d considered was Anna Conda, although that might be a little aggressive. One I used at a news site was Amber Fields, named after our “amber fields of grain.” Amber got a lot of use until I/she gave up on site.

  • Mike Knife

    Trump is crazier than the psychiatrist..

  • Jerry Kott

    Happy to know that Corbert is now No.1 in that late night time slot. He is showing his balls and claws. He is Kardashian Free Zone.

    • JCF

      It took quite a few months for Colbert to “find himself” on the new show. But ever since last summer, he’s been Must See TV!

      • Jerry Kott

        will not miss a show. Even planing to try to see him live. It took him time but he is up and running

  • SDG

    He’s completely UNHINGED!