Trump: The Leaks Are Real, The News Is Fake [VIDEO]

The Week reports:

President Trump declared during his Thursday press conference: “The leaks are real. The news is fake.” Trump was insisting that the leaks that informed the media’s reports on Trump’s campaign aides’ alleged contact with senior Russian intelligence officials were “real,” but the resulting reports on those very “real” leaks were “fake.”

A reporter later asked Trump to clarify how the two incongruous statements could both be true. “The reporting is fake,” Trump said. He went on to explain that because he’s “involved,” he’s able to discern whether something is real or fake. “I know when you’re telling the truth and when you’re not,” Trump said.

  • Robert Anthony

    Oh step down you bloated sack of crap. oy

  • Boreal
  • WitlessProtection

    What the actual fuck? Must be nice to be so much smarter than everyone else. In the world.

  • SLK in SF
  • PickyPecker

    Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy. Thanks for the smile, joe. Much needed.

    • Joe in PA

      a lot of that going around. 🙁

  • JoeMyGod
    • PickyPecker

      Invading Mosul next month was a goodie too.

    • Gustav2

      He has no idea what the consequences of any of his actions would be.

      • Xiao Ai

        Yes he does. Absolutely nothing because, the consequences are well planned out in advance.

    • DesertSun59

      No one has even remotely asked for Trump to shoot that ship out of the water. He’s delusional.

    • billbear1961
    • Xiao Ai

      Putin is orchestrating all of this with Bannon. They’ll even go so far as to tease us with an invasion of our maritime boundaries, flybys of our Navy, et al, all to make it appear as if Drumpf is “doing his job” by smacking them down. It’s all an act. We already know where this heads and the Republicans are in lockstep with it.

      Question: When will we -really- fight back?

      Answer: When it is much too late.

    • BobSF_94117

      If the crew was listening, that’s a very creative way to get them skedaddling back to the North Atlantic.

  • Gustav2

    Almost one month in, 47 to go.

  • Lazycrockett

    If you voted for Drumpf and this doesn’t wake you the fuck up you’re beyond help.

    • Zollergasse

      Same goes for those who voted for Stein or Johnson.

      • Todd20036

        Or for those who didn’t vote at all

    • Joe in PA

      If you voted for Drumpf and this doesn’t wake you the fuck up you’re beyond help.….

      Fixed it for you. Sigh.

    • Chucktech

      “Yooooge crowds at my inauguration” should have done that.

      “Millions of illegals robbed my popular vote victory” should have done that.

      “Thousands bussed in from MA causing my NH loss” should have done that.

  • Cousin Bleh

    He’s losing it. What little there was to lose.

  • Elsewhere1010

    And the rest of us know when you’re telling the truth, Mr. President, and if it ever happens we’ll let you know.

  • Chuck in NYC

    So, so, so very proud of the people who voted for his ticket from my native southern state… Ugh.

  • Tawreos

    His supporters will hear what he said and won’t be able to believe that the reporter doesn’t understand that what Trumpy said is true.

  • Ben in Oakland

    ““I know when you’re telling the truth and when you’re not,” Trump said.”
    Honey, you don’t even know when YOU are telling the truth.

  • Blake J Butler

    Day without immigrants protest in Charlotte, North Carolina. re-edited.

    https://www.facebook.com/ABC15/videos/10154509713321359/

  • AtticusP
  • JoPa

    The dinosaurs are real, the fossils are fake.

    • Matthew Delemos

      Lol!

    • Clive Johnson

      Brilliant!

    • Chucktech

      Actually, that’s pretty much what Ark Encounter kook Ken Ham declares.

      • JoPa

        Wow. You’re right.I just fell in a Google hole researching it and I’m dumber for it.

    • Paula

      Yeah, I know. I don’t know what to do with all the fossil bones that I have.
      I can see Paleolagus soup in our future.

    • narutomania

      Haven’t you heard? Satan whipped up those “fossils” with his Acme Dinosaur Model Kit and planted them in the ground. Underneath layer after painstakingly laid layer of sediments and stone and just made it all APPEAR to be hundreds of millions of years old.

  • Scribble Writer 🌹 ☭

    Super excited about illicit drugs at candy bar prices though. Will they be sold in vending machines?

    • Boreal

      Sold by girl scout troops.

      • PickyPecker

        Amway?

        • Steverino

          Amway should have been named Conway.

          • Tawreos

            They have more self respect than that

        • Lumpy Gaga

          “You laugh, but I’m Secretary of Edu-fucking-cation.”

          — Betsy “Mrs. Amway” DeVos

      • Bluto

        Thin meths?

  • Matthew Delemos

    I see the Christians have been stroking his ego enough that he now thinks he’s got superpowers. Great, we could use more mentally unstable theists.

  • Sam_Handwich
    • Scribble Writer 🌹 ☭

      He seems to think he’s still running against her

      • danolgb

        He kinda is. I think a lot of us are imagining the world where she won and how much better it would have been.

        • Adam King

          In the real world, Hillary won and is doing fine. We are unfortunately living in an alternate reality. I’m waiting for Barry Allen to fix it.

      • William

        He’s still telling the same lies.

      • The_Wretched

        Donny the Unfit liked the election season. He could do no wrong and was ‘winning’ all the way until he ‘won’ and was given the role of President.

        All the Hillary this and Obama that coupled with him going back on parade is about recapturing that ‘lost glory’.

      • billbear1961

        He knows she’s the real–the legitimate–POTUS.

      • Chucktech

        He’s certainly still losing against her. Bigly.

      • clay

        He has trouble forming new memories.

  • I keep waiting for this idiot to stop talking and introduce the president. But he IS the president.

    • zhera

      The hell he is! He’s an imposter. A fraud.

  • Mike

    They’re really only leaks if the misdeeds are real. Otherwise, they’re just lies.

    Did Trump fire Flynn over a flat out lie masquerading as a leak? Of course not. Or did he fire him because Trump himself is a co-conspirator in the pro-Russia, anti-US scheming to end sanctions in exchange for an election victory, and he needs to distance himself from his accomplices as they are exposed? I think we’re getting warmer.

  • Fifth-and-a-Half Element

    When scifi becomes reality:

    https://youtu.be/Z4A7KpUlCKM

    • safari

      As others in the past have pointed out, that bulge…

      • Todd20036

        Which is the biggest difference between that android and Trump

  • Jay George
  • another_steve

    The press conference was unbelievable. “Cringeworthy” is putting it mildly.

    What an enormous enormous embarrassment for the United States.

    • Steverino

      How many martinis did it take for you to get through it, hon?

      • another_steve

        No martinis today, babe. Gin is hard on the reflux, which has been kickin’ up of late.

        Tequila. Much easier on the insides.

        • Tor

          Thanks for the pro-tip.

        • Adam King

          Now that’s funny–I find exactly the opposite. I must be refluxin’ wrong.

          • another_steve

            With tequila I add some nice juice. If we have oranges in the house, some freshly squeezed orange juice.

            It apparently tricks my gut into thinking it’s receiving health food or something.

          • MT YVR

            Health food. Ha. This is why I drink vodka. “It’s a fuckin’ pah-tay-tah!” I yell at my liver. Also I’m of Irish descent so really, anything goes down fine.

            Me included. (ba-dum tish)

          • another_steve

            I love you Irish because you’ve brought the best whiskies to the world.

            In 1972, coming out of a gay bar in Greenwich Village, Manhattan NYC, I got deathly ill as a result of vodka excess that evening. We’re talkin’ “deathly” here. My friends had to literally drag me off the sidewalk.

            I haven’t touched vodka since.

    • gaymex1

      How is it possible that he was elected?
      I really overestimated the good-will and intelligence of my fellow Americans. This was truly a breathtaking display, Steve.

      • another_steve

        Agree 100 percent.

        We’re victims of our Reality TV Age. We’ve lost the ability to discern truth from fiction, reality from pretense.

        At least 46 percent of American voters have, that is.

      • Bad Tom

        It was Vladimir Putin, in the voting booth, with a rigged election.
        I’m serious.

        • another_steve

          John Dean of Watergate fame was interviewed on MSNBC an hour or so ago. He said that the 2016 election scandal isn’t quite Watergate 2.0 yet, but it’s showing signs of becoming that.

          Theft of documents. Collusion with bad guys. The involvement of the President’s men. The President’s nod nod wink wink to it all.

          “Stay tuned as the facts come out,” was Dean’s message during his interview today.

          • MT YVR

            I can’t help it. EVERY time this conversation comes up and people talk about “the election and the president” I keep thinking: Obama. It’s just not part of my brain that that term “president” refers to Trump. Just won’t stick.

          • Hunter M

            Definitely NOT my president.

        • zhera

          I am 100% sure there was vote fixing where that was possible. Pennsylvania, anyone?

        • Chucktech

          Not in the Republican primaries, it wasn’t. Rubio, Cruz, Li’l Jebbie, Fiorina and all the rest bumped along in the single digits while Trump was consistently in the mid 30’s or higher. That can only be laid at the feet of stooopid America.

          • Bad Tom

            Stoopid helped, but the sudden turnaround from the polling on Election night, with suspicious margins in states with no paper backup to electronic voting, makes me think Vladimir put the fix in.

      • Hunter M

        It’s made me question everything that I thought I knew about this country. How could I be so wrong? Have spent months trying to make some sense of it.

        The only thing I can come up with is that they wanted a change in Washington, and they were going to elect anyone who wasn’t considered part of establishment. Still didn’t think they’d elect someone so stupid.

        • Chucktech

          My position is that it takes stupid to elect stupid. That’s the American people. Blisteringly, stultifyingly stupid.

        • gaymex1

          I’ve been questioning too.
          I realize I need to cut back on some of this insane Trump bellowing. He’s used to his own crazy, but I’m not and it’s really getting to me.

          • Hunter M

            I don’t listen to Trump at all. But have been trying to understand how someone who normally is sane, could possibly vote for a con-man. Trying to make sense where there is none.

          • gaymex1

            It is totally baffling.

      • Clive Johnson

        Same here. 2016 was the year I finally woke up to how ill-prepared so many people are to make a democracy work.

        • gaymex1

          I knew there was hostility toward minorities of all stripes, but I was seriously taken aback by the inability of my fellow citizens to be rational and reasonable. I didn’t realize that bigotry was as wide spread as it was/is.
          …and this is coming from someone who still has a scar from Selma.

  • SunsetGay

    Trump: My approval ratings are 100%! I have the world’s biggest penis! I do not pee nor poop!

    Trump supporters: DEAR LEADER HAS THE WORLD’S BIGGEST PENIS AND HE DOES NOT PEE NOR POOP AND HIS APPROVAL RATINGS ARE 100% AMONG REAL PEOPLE AND LIEBRUUUUULS ARE NOT REAL! MAGA MAGA MAGA! HEIL PEPE!

    • Jeffg166

      I love Dear Leader.

    • The_Wretched

      That’s so very NK.

      • SunsetGay

        You laugh but this could totally be a real Trump speech and real reaction 😉

  • Another easy week for the writers at Saturday Night Live.

    • Jeffg166

      They’ll be out of a job soon all they have to do is quote him.

    • halfwaythere

      I hope they mock how he kept talking about “all the hate” for him.

      Gah! He is so thin skinned!! (and a terrifying “leader”)

  • Steven B

    Mr Trump, if the news is fake then why do you even care about the leaks?

    • pj

      hes trying to change the subject. thats what they do.

  • greenmanTN

    “He knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you’re awake. He know when you’ve been bad or good so be good, for goodness sake!”

    🙄

  • safari
    • greenmanTN

      Mmmm. Scallions…

      • safari

        Actually, it’s a leek.

        • Steverino

          As Julia Child once said: “First, you take a leek…”

        • greenmanTN

          Really? OK. I actually have a leek fetish and that isn’t a joke. Almost an onion, but not quite, a fancy onion! Hey, I was in my late teens before I ate vegetables that didn’t come out of a can.

          “You mean asparagus isn’t that squishy nasty shit I’ve been eating for all these years? Mother? J’accuse!”

          • stuckinthewoods

            I just discovered a place to buy shallots cheap was in an Indian grocery.

          • greenmanTN

            My mother was such a bad cook I learned how to cook as a defensive measure. No kidding, I had to go the the library to look up saute. “Oh! Stirring over heat! Duh!”

            There were a few roadblocks. “Now WTF is a shallot?!”

          • Dagoril
          • greenmanTN

            It took me a moment to get that. (I couldn’t remember his name.)

            But my eyebrows could take his any day! (If I don’t trim.)

            http://www.caroncares.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/eyebrows.jpg

          • PickyPecker

            Like two fruitBats, eh?

          • greenmanTN

            Reallly furry fruit bats maybe. You should not be able to do a combover with your eyebrows!

            Cornrows might be kinda fun though…

          • stuckinthewoods

            My deceased partner said his mother’s cooking had the same effect. He was from southwest VA and after being stationed in Europe in the 50s he realized he knew nothing. He and his partner studied Julia Child’s books minutely to learn. Not only do I still make her recipes (through him), after watching her shows I recognize we’re using the Descoware, Dansk Arabia, and table linens that appeared on the show. He’d have understood your method.

          • greenmanTN

            I actually saw Julia Child in a restaurant in Boston. The staff was doing everything but cartwheels they were so glad she was there. She was very tall but kind of looked like something Jim Henson cooked up in his workshop.

            I do like her style though. Mess something up? Fuck it, carry on! (As opposed to carrion, which is quite different.)

          • stuckinthewoods

            It’s a good attitude. I never understand agonizing over a dinner mishap. You’ll have another dinner chance tomorrow if you’re lucky. But he was definitely a Child groupie and I came to understand it.

          • greenmanTN

            That’s the thing people miss about Julia Child. She wasn’t even half as tight-assed as Martha Stewart. Drop the chicken on the floor? No fret. Rinse it and pop it in the oven anyway. I like M.F.K. Fisher for the same reason- food should satisfy but not be a huge pain in the ass.

          • greenmanTN

            My paternal grandmother was a very good cook, in the Sothern tradition. Really good Sunday dinners.

            But the woman could NOT take a compliment. If you said “Wow, this is really great!” Her response was always “You could do better in the trash!”

            So that’s a running joke between my siblings and I. Someone pays you a compliment? “You could do better in the trash!”

          • greenmanTN

            Funny story: The coach of the high school football team lived across the road from us. He was talking to my parents one day, so as a goodwill gesture I went out and offered him some of my teriyaki turnips. They were good! Though he did eat them with a look on his face like Lucretia Borgia just offered him a nightcap.

            I later heard.that he said of me, “That boy ain’t right!

          • safari

            A whole new world opened up in my midwestern family when I told them about roasting brussels sprouts.

          • greenmanTN

            You would have thought my mother invented Balsamic Vinegar herself.

            “Do you remember all the times I had to eat Swanson TV dinners? Well I’m not forgetting and I’m not forgiving!”

          • greenmanTN

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/86e0080d949841d5563dfcaa41d11fc13b541e7bd08135c49e89ecd859f922aa.jpg

            I did a garden for several years. Because I am constitutionally incapable of doing something without pussing it up a bit there were tile paths through it, bamboo tomato cages, fishing line spiderwebs for the cucumbers to climb..

            70 something neighbor. “What are you doing?,

            I thought it was rather obvious. “My aunt had a friend who had a bunch of broken tiles so I’m making a mosaic path.”

            “Well isn’t that something!” (The minute your back is turned I’m gonna talk about you.)

            I actually have a favorite tomato, Mr Stripey, an heirloom variety, great green or ripe.

            I came out of that garden practically strutting, living off the land you know… 😉

  • Gustav2

    Jake Tapper, Mr President stop whining!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TxRp2ghTn4

    • Jay George

      Yes except I still refuse to accept that he legitimately won the presidency.

  • Scott MB

    His circular logic has surpassed the master Glen Beck. How can’t people see he is a complete wackjob?! At least I have some hope because I see and hear more and more people regretting that they voted for him. I hope against everything he is either impeached and jailed before the next election or that he loses so bad he is ruined and all he has is lost. I am hoping impeachment before he totally screws this country.

    • Adam King

      He’d have to be impeached before he’s jailed, unless there’s a military coup.

  • The Morrigan

    He’s talking about his ratings as if he’s still on a reality TV show.

    • Gustav2

      That is why he is having the rally in Florida. We will hear about the yuge crowd for weeks.

  • zhera

    “Shoot the messenger! Pay no attention to his message!”

    Since everything coming from the trumPee administration are lies, we know what this means.

    Personally I suspect that Russia is involved with the leaks. They’re playing a different game, with chaos in the WH as the end goal. When the Constitutional crisis is a fact they’ll aim for NATO.

  • PickyPecker
    • Tomcat

      Sorry, our rating was degraded Nov 9th 2016

  • Megrim Twist

    Fuck this shitgibbon. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

  • Rex

    Does he ever make any sense?

    • safari

      To himself

  • hdtex

    What the American people are witnessing is a president have a real-time mental collapse on national television.

    • Steverino

      I was expecting him to have a Howard Beale moment at any time.

      • Chucktech

        Yeah. Like, at the end of the movie…

      • DonnaLee

        Me Too! Only in his case, it would be due to everyone not respecting his authority to always be right.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      Are you friends with the American people? Why don’t you set up a meeting with them?

    • Friday

      Kind of like in each of his three debates.

  • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

    The unraveling of the web of lies is accelerating.

    Good.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      The web is fake. The lies are real.

  • Blake J Butler
    • Tomcat

      Be careful, any law broken and you go out.

  • Rex

    I don’t think the man living in an alt-reality is qualified to tell us what’s real.

  • Rex

    The man with bronzed skin, dyed hair, a third wife with fake boobs isn’t qualified to try to convince us what is real.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      I’m pretty sure his boobs are real.

      • Tomcat

        And his gall, real and lots of it.

  • Gustav2

    It was a Festivus airing of grievances.

    • safari

      Every day, in every way.

  • Do Something Nice
    • Do Something Nice

      PS: I have no idea if this is true, but someone told me that the reason that Putin took Crimea is for a pipeline and that Tillerson is somehow implicated.

      • tbj5

        Russia needs to export its oil. That’s their only source of cash right now.

        To boat it out, they had to pipe through Ukraine, who was going to tax it heavily.

        So they pulled the classic Russian tactic of invading to gain access to the ocean. Now they could just ship out the oil themselves from Crimea.

        That’s why Obama issued the sanctions he did, forbidding Russia from pumping oil out of all but three of the 60 million acres of land they had primed for pumping and selling.

        So Putin got back to work installing puppets wherever he could, especially Puppet Trump. Colluding with them to get far-right populists in power in the west so that those nations would be weak and isolationist. Letting Russia conquer back all the USSR.

      • JHunter
  • Thorn Spike

    Wow. Projection so massive it can be seen from outer space.

  • Rex

    “I know when you’re telling the truth and when you’re not” – Translation: If you’re saying something good about me it’s true, if you’re saying something bad about me it’s false.

  • coram nobis

    Presser was a train wreck — we’re talking about two circus trains here.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9ITp_xSaxE

    • Rebecca Gardner

      That is so perfect.

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    There is someone at my public radio station counting down the days to both the 2018 and 2020 elections every morning.

    • billbear1961

      We truly cannot wait that long.

      This bastard is a crook, a traitor, a pathological liar and/or delusional, and is planning an emergency so he can make a GRAB for dictatorial POWER.

      And he has a Congress–both chambers–that is fully ENABLING him.

      We’ve GOT to get him out NOW while we still have a Constitution and the Rule of LAW!!

  • DesertSun59

    The game is CHANGE THE SUBJECT.

    He is distracting everyone with a shiny object.

    The real story is the one where Flynn had contact with Russia and how Russia has admitted as such.

    • Tomcat

      Hey, that’s Kellyanne’s job.

  • Rebecca Gardner

    He is completely insane. That’s the only explanation.

    • Gene

      nuttier than squirrel shit in a peanut processing factory

      • Rebecca Gardner

        I’m so stealing that. LOL

  • IAMBOWLINGGREEN

    Translation : ‘Don’t believe your own eyes and ears, unless I tell you to to.’ : The despotic, insane rantings of a dictator.

  • Mickey Bitsko
    • Well, at least Nixon was smart at times with foreign policy — with his opening to “Gina” and all that. The only opening to “Gina” that Trump knows is with the zipper in his pants.

  • Boreal
  • JT
  • Frostbite

    Listening to him kills brain cells.

  • TheManicMechanic

    Only thing fake here is the president and his administration.

  • coram nobis

    Meanwhile, Guardian reports disconnect between the new Secretary of State-Exxon Mobil, his State Dept., and the TWH.

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/feb/16/rex-tillerson-state-department-sidelined-by-white-house

    It appears that the TWH is running foreign policy directly.

    • BobSF_94117

      There’s not much left of the State Dept. Middle management has been dismissed.

  • Lazycrockett

    He doesn’t know that the Congressional Black Caucus is part of the Congress.

    • Tomcat

      He feels he does not need congress at all.

      • Tomcat

        and since they just keep applauding all the stupid things he does I guess he is right.

  • Barry William Teske

    SO
    …buy some Depends.
    Try to be more careful about who it is you depend on.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok
    • Lumpy Gaga

      Melania’s gardener didn’t show up to tend her bushes today.

    • Tomcat

      I can’t wait for the sequel.

      • billbear1961

        I can–I can wait.

        Meanwhile, raids and deportations are taking place with unheard-of callousness and overreach.

        At the borders, the CBP are behaving like a latter-day Gestapo.

    • zhera

      Meanwhile, ICE and DHS are making life hard for immigrants, legal or not. Raids, checkpoints, using children to get to the parents. It’s a fucking police state.

  • Mickey Bitsko

    You can’t make this shit up, even if you’re Joseph Heller:

    REPORTER: “If the information coming from those leaks is real, then how can the stories be fake?”

    DRUMPF: “The reporting is fake. Here’s the thing, the public isn’t — you know, they read newspapers, they see television, they watch. They don’t know if it’s true or false because they’re not involved. I’m involved.”

    • agcons

      Well, there’s my own built-in compiler, blown.

  • tbj5

    If you look closely, you can see Putin’s middle finger in the back of the mouth of the Orange Bigot Puppet.

  • On a completely OT matter, but one that may save some of you money (and awful indigestion and bad breath), another study shows that taking fish oil supplements yields no health benefits. I am stopping my subscription of the disgusting pills on Amazon Prime. http://theincidentaleconomist.com/wordpress/healthcare-triage-news-fish-oil/

    • Tomcat

      My renowned heart doctor told me that 5 years ago after telling me to take them the year before.

      • Well they make you burp, and if you own a cat they keep on demanding that you break open the pills for them to “sample” on their kitty treats. . Cats know when you are taking them.

    • Daveed_WOW

      This post was about leaks and fake news. So maybe related.

    • CB

      If you get enough healthy fats and protein in your diet. (Olive oil, nuts, avocado, etc.) and eat regular fish and chicken (and avoid processed meats, especially), you probably don’t need a fish oil supplement, according to my doc. Sleep, weight control and regular exercise are more useful. (And more pleasurable.)

  • Mikey

    one of the most brilliantly facetious and spot-on comments I’ve read on Facebook in a long time regarding the American election:

    “They told me if I voted for Hillary, I would get an administration that would be criminally negligent.
    Our national security would be at risk because of her appointees and because of how sloppy her team was with her email server.
    Goldman-Sachs people and billionaire friends would “own” cabinet positions.
    And, on a daily basis, she would be telling the most outrageous lies because that’s who she is.
    I voted for Hillary and sure enough, that’s exactly what happened.”

  • Lumpy Gaga

    Do you think he goes out at night and shits in Michelle’s WH garden?

    • coram nobis

      The rose bushes could get rather scratchy.

      • Lumpy Gaga

        Only time anyone’s ever heard him say “Point me towards the vegetables.”

        • Dazzer

          Wait till next time he addresses the Republican Caucus

    • Lily A Jafarian

      Lumpy Gaga….you won the internet!

    • JCF

      Is is still even there? [It’ll be plowed under, if it hasn’t been already. Golf course!]

  • Robert Anthony

    The hands are real the tint is fake.

  • Tomcat

    Don’t you non believers know Trump is Omnipotent.
    You shall have no other gods before you.

  • bkmn
  • marshlc

    Okay, so let’s imagine for a minute that all this was real – he was a real adult American president, playing politics certainly, as they all do, but also truly invested in what he considers the good of his country, with all the nuance that entails. A scandal has erupted, but he knows, because he’s the president and has access to information, that it is not as big a scandal as the news media is currently making it out to be. That there actually is nothing much here.

    What would he do?

    He’d go with something that looks like transparency. He’d either release information, or appoint a bipartisan investigating committee, or in some other way defuse it by showing that there’s not actually anything much to worry about. If the heart of the scandal was that the media and many mainstream, respectable, real adult Americans in positions of responsibility think that he’s lying, the last thing he’d do is rely on “Just listen to what I say and shut up”. He’d present evidence, because that’s the only thing that could actually make them shut up and go away.

    If there were actually nothing much really wrong here, the first thing a real president would do would be to release his tax returns, or something equivalent.

    I can believe that Trump doesn’t understand this, but I can’t believe that no one in his inner circle, or with some power, does. Reince whatshisname certainly does, and so does Paul Ryan. Which makes it look like they want the scandal to continue, for reasons of their own.

    • zhera

      I think they all understand. The problem is that there’s nothing for them to release without incriminating themselves. trumPee, Bannon, Flynn, Pence, Priebus, Ryan, McConnell. They’re ALL neck deep in this shit, because they KNEW that Russia was meddling with the election.

    • paganguy

      Because they want him to go down bigly. He held them over a barrel once he got the nomination and throughout the election, forced them to support him, and now they’re going to let him dig his own grave. I think they’re only waiting until the net is big enough to catch everyone they want to oust, but I’m hoping they’ll get caught in it too. It’s like a huge game of political chicken and they’re waiting to see who will blink first.

    • -M-

      I’ve decided that whoever let him do this presser was greasing the skids for Trump’s removal.

    • Acronym Jim

      I think the only reason he held the presser was to “show Spicey how it’s done.”

  • Cousin Bleh

    OMFG, the video of Trump responding to April Ryan is a disgrace. She asks if he’ll meet with the CBC. He doesn’t know what that is. She clarifies that it’s the Congressional Black Caucus, and he STILL doesn’t realize those are congresspeople. Then he asks her, a black reporter, to set up the meeting.

    Because our president thinks all black people know each other!

    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/832306792101212162/video/1

    • Sam_Handwich
      • Joe in PA

        Not sure I could have been this gracious. 🙁

      • Lumpy Gaga

        This presser sounds pretty shit-historic.

        (“Shitstoric”!!!! (c) Must credit LG Media)

      • William

        Short version: I don’t know what the fuck Trump was talking about.

    • Mickey Bitsko
    • That_Looks_Delicious

      LOL. When I was a teenager and visited NY/NJ, many people would tell me that they had a former neighbor/classmate/second cousin who moved to Ohio and asked if I knew them. Amazingly, and to their disappointment, I never did. Maybe it’s something like that.

      • Tomcat

        Just like in Tennessee, they (life long locals) no matter what your name is, they will ask you if you are related to so and so or so and so. And be upset when you say what is wrong with you, I said my name was _____.

      • Tom Ato

        I worked with people who thought all us gays know each other. I’d say, “yes, I think I met him at the meetings”.

        • Treant

          You’re kinder than I am. If I disliked the person (and wasn’t working with the one who asked), I’d usually just answer, “I fucked him. Right before I did your father.”

  • Blake J Butler

    So according to Ryan Murphy, season 7 of American Horror Story will revolve around…….. the 2016 election.

    • Boreal

      I already lived through the horror once and still am. Guess I won’t be watching season 7.

      • Blake J Butler

        I thought it was a joke, but it is official. I haven’t watched anything that had to do with Hillary. I can’t, that election was supernatural as it could get.

    • Natty Enquirer

      Too soon.

      • JCF

        Not soon enough!

    • Jean-Marc in Canada
      • Blake J Butler

        I have a problem with the annunciation of certain words, horror is one of them. When AHS first came out, I was trying to find other that were watching it, and they didn’t know at first what I was talking about, saying they never watched the American “Whore” Story.

        Destitution- prostitution, one time I wanted to look for an incense burner, and instead it came out as incest murder.

        • Stogiebear

          “Annunciation” is not quite the word you’re looking for here either…. LOL. ;^)

          • Blake J Butler

            Words are my enemy. Sometimes. Sometimes it comes across as funny and cute.

  • AJ Drew

    nattering nabobs of negativism!

    “A phrase used by Vice President Spiro Agnew to refer to the members of the media with whom he had a very acrimonious relationship.”

    http://politicaldictionary.com/words/nattering-nabobs-of-negativism/

  • mikeinftl

    Talk about delusional!

  • Clive Johnson

    Self-blindness to one’s self-contradictions is a hallmark of the authoritarian personality.

  • Natty Enquirer

    Never mind Trump’s ideological positions. His peevishness alone disqualifies him from the job. The gaslighting is now just so much gas.

  • Slippy_World

    When asked if she was watching 45’s presser -the Mental Health Professional and TRUTH TELLER Propane Jane replied :

    I can’t watch him because I’m viscerally disgusted that our country is enabling and exploiting an ill and criminal person for entertainment

  • paganguy

    So, as usual, everyone is lying – except him.

  • Secure

    Trump is standing in front of the same yellow “Muslim prayer curtain” that Obama used! Trump is a secret Muslim!

    • Edmund Allin

      Muslim prayer curtain?! LOL! I hand’t heard that one before.

      But, looking at pictures of Obama’s office, I can’t see any Christian prayer rug either!

  • Ragnar Lothbrok
  • Archipelagos
    • -M-

      Trump wishes he had a spokesperson with that much credibility.

  • JCF

    I kept trying to listen, then I would get utterly DISGUSTED, and turn it off [The final straw was when, while driving, I heard him say “I know things about this world”. There was some nice Spanish guitar on the Classical station instead!]

  • DoctorDJ

    Sing with me:
    “He knows when you’ve been lying,
    He knows when you’ve been fake.

    He knows if you’ve been false or true,
    so STOP FUCKING AROUND WITH US FOR GOODNESS SAKE.”

  • teeveedub
    • Lars Littlefield

      That’s what Katy Tur said the minute the “press conference” rant was over. She was quite deadpan.

  • MonochromeMouse

    Sounds like someone is off his meds and talking at the cameras again.

  • John Calendo

    He sees you when you’re sleeping; he knows when you’re awake.

  • Lars Littlefield

    And now, a few lingering thoughts from Supreme Court Justice Louis Brandeis:

    “We can have democracy in this country, or we can have great wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can’t have both.

    The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in the insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning but without understanding.”

    Ah, those were the days.

  • Tomcat

    Remember Obama SAID,,, we have to have an adult in the room !!!!
    Well we don’t now.

  • Kim K’s Kute Koochy✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ
  • Henry Auvil

    War is Peace. Freedom is Slavery. Ignorance is Strength.

    • Natty Enquirer

      And … Real is Fake.

  • CB

    Did Melania take that line from Judge Judy for him?

  • ByronK

    Hi, @realDonaldTrump. We’re the CBC. We sent you a letter on January 19, but you never wrote us back. Sad! Letter: https://t.co/58KiuHmITF— The CBC (@OfficialCBC) February 16, 2017

    • Max_1

      I didn’t scroll before I posted…

  • dcurlee

    I can’t even listen to him anymore

    • Natty Enquirer

      Me either. It took a few years for me to get to that point with Shrub.

  • CottonBlimp

    Trump might be the first corrupt politician too fucking stupid to not incriminate himself. If/when he goes to trial, I suspect he doesn’t even know what “pleading the Fifth” IS.

  • William

    Pat wants to get back into the African blood diamond business.

  • Max_1
  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    =”https://i.imgflip.com/1jsf61.gif” title=”made at imgflip.com”/>

  • coyoteandhawk

    The great orange emperor has no clothes and is now headless. What a mess what a huge mess. Horrible mess; worst mess I’ve ever seen. Absolutely senseless, crazy, crazy. FAIL!!! You big orange dummy. LOL

  • CJAS

    How are they going to spin this? She’s racist for asking him the question.

  • Galvestonian

    Lieing boggart – he looks so good to the morons and he just chucks those faux words at them and they suck it down. Where is the proverbial straw that’s gonna break that faith ??? The medial and the leakers are doing a fantastic job of peeling back the outer shell to reveal the foul mess that festers inside Cheetolini , the human sewer.

  • Carl

    He’s getting stupider. He’s barely coherent. He’s likely to wander off and walk off a balcony before his four years are up.

  • Slippy_World

    My administration is running like a fine-tuned machine.” – Donald J. Trump, 2/16/17 https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a449e9fad30d9f5edd22392a068dcd6139ceac08ad58a719de7072ee2f503c74.jpg

  • Pip

    So, if the news is reporting on the leaks then do the leaks become fake news? Or does the news now become real?

  • CatCope

    Mr. President, FOX NEWS on the TV with Breaking Leaking NEWS: “Congress is deciding to start Impeachment hearings!” “Are the resulting reports of these leaks fake, sir??” ” We are so confused. You are The Man. Help us!!”

  • ColdCountry

    “The leaks are absolutely real. The news is fake.”
    I’m glad we cleared THAT up!

  • Whicker Park
  • TexasBoy

    “I know when you’re telling the truth and when you’re not,” Trump said.

    No, Donnie, you’re thinking of the Human Lie detector, Steve Jinks, a lovable gay FICTIONAL character from Warehouse 13.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/02e2b5d88910097cbb9cc44d97e0c8570c3e189d7d14a83eeca3442ae49a44ac.jpg

  • Why do I suddenly hear 2nd graders snarling “I know you are, but what am I”?