Everything Is Now A Reality Show

Tune in tomorrow night for the final elimination round when our emcee reveals the winner LIVE LIVE LIVE on national television as the runners-up receive consolation robes from gorgeous models!

  • bambinoitaliano
  • Mark

    I feel bad for whomever he chooses. They have to know that he is a national and international embarassment – and is the complete anti-thesis of what their new job will entail.

    • Joe in PA

      Anyone that would actually accept a nom…don’t care. See Rudy Ghouliani.

    • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

      I know that whoever he chooses — and who accepts the nomination — will be someone all the sane, intelligent citzens will hate and protest.

      So, no sympathy from me at all.

    • Wouldn’t it be too amusing if no one cheetolini picks accepts the position?

  • bambinoitaliano
    • Todd20036

      Guess now we are going to have 40 hearings about the commando in Yemen.
      Right?

  • Giant Monster Gamera

    I’m exhausted. Has it only been 10 days?

    • Chris Baker

      It’s sweeps week!

    • Todd20036

      Technically 8. He took off the weekend. Seriously.

      • Joe in PA

        Hey, Finding Dory isn’t gonna watch itself. Sheesh.

    • Mordred LeFey

      Agreed. I think it’s his tactic. Put out so much crazy shit that the people that care get exhausted and stop caring.

      • Todd20036

        Being exhausted and giving up are 2 VERY different things.
        I’ll never give up, but I already know this administration has 0 chance of “pivoting” towards anything remotely resembling a legitimate administration.

        • Deborahawilhelm

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !mj168d:
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          !mj168d:
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      • Ernest Endevor

        Exactly.

      • JCF

        Amplified & accelerated by Axis Kelly and Lord Haw-Haw (Spicer).

    • William

      I can’t function on three hours sleep for many more days. Restful sleep eludes me.

      • Todd20036

        Have more sex, then.

    • Do Something Nice

      A few on MSNBC reported this as an attempt to distract attention from the immigration ban disaster.

      • Mike__in_Houston

        Makes sense to me. So when do the protests start for his Supreme Court nominee?

        • Acronym Jim

          8:00 Eastern time, Tuesday night.

          • Prixator

            Probably earlier since it’s a lock that whoever he picks will be truly awful.

          • lymis

            That’s ridiculous. We all know Trump never actually shows up on time, so we all get to watch all the networks showing dead air for at least half an hour.

            So, call it 8:35 ET Tuesday. Cutting into prime time, of course.

  • Skokieguy [Larry]

    And Donald will lik about the ratings and call the media that reports what they were fake news, because that’s more important than actually governing the country.

    Is it time to start taking bets on how long he remains in office? Since he is now fomenting a Constitutional crisis by ignoring court orders, I think the clock is ticking. I think Congress may want him out of the way fast so the American public (who has no memory) will forget about him long before the 2018 elections.

    • Ragnar Lothbrok

      No way he lasts 4 years.

    • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

      It could take months for the GOP to tire of swallowing their own vomit and begin impeachment proceedings, so I think it’s quite possible that other government branches may take matters into their own hands.

      You know what I mean.

      • Skokieguy [Larry]

        Not sure what you mean, but its never a good idea to piss of the our national intelligence agencies.

        • Todd20036

          Or the military.

        • lymis

          Or SCOTUS.

      • Bj Lincoln

        One long range sniper should do the trick.

        • Todd20036

          Doubtful. There’s an awful lot of flab that bullet would need to penetrate.

        • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

          I’m thinking more of a large-scale thing. Romania comes to mind.

          • William

            Do we have to wait until Christmas?

          • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

            No. Valentine’s Day will be fine, unless we get itchy.

  • Spudman
  • HZ81

    No season 2.

    • DaddyRay

      And certainly No Reruns

    • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

      Canceled after three episodes due to extremely hostile viewer reactions.

  • Sam_Handwich
  • olandp

    If the Democrats have any backbone they will block whomever Don the Con chooses.

    What am I saying, Democrats with backbone, hahahahahahahaha…

    • Todd20036

      I’m pretty certain they will cave too. But the real issue here is, will SCOTUS deem constitutional RFAs?
      If so, camps are next.

      • Ninja0980

        Sad to say but they don’t have much power nor the backbone as you said.
        Would be nice to think otherwise though.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      It’s time to primary out any Dem w/o a backbone or who has fascistic tendencies. I’m so tired of the lack of spine and it’s a major reason why I don’t criticize people for being angry at the dems.

    • Acronym Jim

      I’m hoping Trump will pick someone so batshit crazy that the Republicans (lol I initially typed that as Replicans) will know that defending the pick is political suicide.

  • DaddyRay

    Who will Donald give the Rose to?

    • Frostbite

      All I can say is I’m fscking glad it isn’t me!

  • Skokieguy [Larry]

    Joe, with all due respect, you’re wrong. In America, our game show hosts had a tradition of having luxurious , exuberant hair. Hair Fuhrer does not qualify. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9536851f596899f87b02998ba03f71ce4828c9e300a1c7c6207d92dabaa9f7ff.jpg

  • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

    Again, this is Bannon speaking.

    • another_steve

      The timing is smart, from his perspective. The media reaction to the immigration executive order has been terrible for them. This will be a new bright shiny object for the media hounds to chase.

    • geoffalnutt

      It’s all Bannon.

  • MonochromeMouse

    LIVE! LIVE! LIVE! THIS TUESDAY! TUESDAY! TUESDAY! SUPREME COURT SMACKDOWN!!!! ADMISSION COVERS THE WHOLE SEAT, BUT YOU ONLY NEED THE EDGE!!!!!!! TUESDAY! LIVE!

  • Mark

    Is Bannon handing out the long stems?

  • Wesinoregon

    Maybe a big drum roll as he reads it off a card.

    • William

      There has to be at least a 15 second dramatic pause.

  • William

    Did I miss the swimsuit competition?

  • DaddyRay
    • Todd20036

      You know, I never realized it before. Mr. Winkler sure had some pretty legs back in the day….

      • JCF

        Is that really Mr Winkler? Methinks stunt double.

    • pj

      jump the shark. apt.

    • Acronym Jim

      Trump and the nation jumped the shark on November 8, 2016.

  • Fifth-and-a-Half Element
    • Christopher

      If I click play on that it will be stuck in my head all day.

  • barrixines
  • Duh-David

    No thanks, I’ll just watch Numberwang. It makes more sense.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjOZtWZ56lc

    • Christopher

      Wow! I need way more coffee. I originally read that as “I’ll just watch Nuremberg”.

      In this day and age those trials would’ve been live streamed. I’m sure the next ones will be.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    Kelly Ann says you are skanky ho

    • vorpal

      Slut hair pulling competition.

  • DaddyRay
  • another_steve

    Can we pleeze first have a Busby Berkeley-type opening number?

    Maybe 30 urinating Russian prostitutes dancing in a circle?

  • Michael R
    • DaddyRay

      Your gif is better – I am not worthy

      • Michael R

        I wanted to make one with Jaye P Morgan but no time !

        https://s27.postimg.org/eko0rkr4j/Gong_Show_Jaye_P_Morgan.gif

        • Earl

          Wait, did she just show us her tits?

          She did! She did show us her tits! 🙂

          • Michael R

            I saw this on tv when I was a kid and I always wondered
            if I just saw what I just saw , then along came the internets !
            I think it was her final appearance .

          • Mike__in_Houston

            Who is she and what program is it?

          • Michael R

            Here’s exactly what I saw …

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyQA5vNjihs

          • Acronym Jim

            That was back in the days when Game Show celebrity panelists got thoroughly liquored up before (and during) taping.

          • Earl

            Just liquor? I think not. 🙂

        • Acronym Jim

          I KNEW someone was going to post this gif. Unfortunately, you beat me to it.

    • Todd20036

      And… NOW I’m old.

  • Ninja0980

    Whomever it is will be a right wing asshole that will gladly uphold every anti LGBT, anti-voting, anti-immigrant measure there is.
    Congrats third party voters etc., you helped take the once chance we had to get a Democratic SCOTUS in place that would uphold rights and threw it away.

  • Silver Badger

    Please remember that a Supreme Court nomination or appointment is only a lifetime appointment. Life expectancy grows shorter and shorter as long as the pissant is in office.

  • billbear1961

    Trump has NO RIGHT to place anyone on ANY court, for at this VERY moment he is violating the Rule of Law–and therefore his Oath of Office–by refusing to obey the courts’ stays of his Muslim Ban!!

    He has ordered OTHERS to break the law, as well, by ordering them to continue to enforce the ban which has been STAYED!!

    He should be IMPEACHED, and found guilty of willful SEDITION!!

    • Christopher

      Ooh don’t forget about his violation of the Emoluments Clause when he took the oath of office.

      Everything is getting tossed aside because Cheetolini just won’t stop being a dick.

      • billbear1961

        AND his involvement with the Russians, his TREASON!

        Everything one looks at with this man demands investigation and ACTION!

        I’ve never seen anything like it, Christopher!

        He makes Nixon look like a boy scout!

    • DonnaLee

      Nixon’s actions look almost quaint by comparison.

  • billbear1961

    Whoever the FASCIST is, he or she must be BLOCKED, indefinitely.

    That seat was STOLEN from President Obama when the GOP–a gang of SEDITIONISTS–blatantly violated the Constitution by refusing to allow him to do his DUTY to replace Scalia!!

    There is NO MANDATE, whatsoever, for a right-wing nominee–the NATION chose HILLARY’S progressive vision of the future over the Predator- and Usurper-in-chief’s by almost three MILLION votes!!

  • Robert Adams

    Thank God for MeTV. When Trump is on, it takes me back, if only for a few hours, to the time Trump yearns for, that never really existed.

    • Christopher

      The TV at our house is tuned to Buzzr daily. Watching those old game shows is quite a refreshing break from the insanity. A lot of sexism and misogyny going on back then however.

      • CB

        That’s how senor naranja learned about how people are supposed to interact and what makes America great. Call it research.

  • KnownDonorDad

    One unprecedented, historic obstruction deserves another.

  • geoffalnutt

    And our lovely spokes-nazi Kellyanne Conjob – “What’s behind door number 3, Kellyanne?”

    • M Jackson

      A zonk. Johnny Olsen in a cart pulled by a goat.

      • djcoastermark

        Nope, We goats have already banded together to refuse to do anything for the orange one.

        • M Jackson

          Perfect. 🙂

        • BJORN RAGNVALDR

          See, everyone? Goats are smart!

  • M Jackson

    I will not be watching. And please don’t
    screw up my recording of “This Is Us”.

  • David
  • Earl

    At least the decline and fall of the USA is more amusing than the decline and fall of the Roman Republic was.

    It’s a grim humour, though.

    • another_steve

      Oh I don’t know. All those Emperors fucking their male slaves while the Roman Empire burned?

      Made for some great TV.

      • Earl

        The Republic fell in 44 BC IIRC, the Empire has a number of dates for its collapse.

        I said Republic, not empire. Having sex with the property is still a form of rape, after that property had been kidnapped and tortured too.

        Bad form that. Seduction beats rape, everytime.

        • another_steve

          Yes, but if you’re Donald Trump, seduction won’t work.

          • Earl

            I’d really rather never think of that subject again. K thanks.

            Do not, RPT not, make me think of that man having sex. My sex drive’s already low enough as it is, I’d like to think about having sex again – at least. 🙂

          • The_Wretched

            trump’s idea of ‘seduction’ is ‘grab them by the puss’.

      • Bad Tom

        “I’d rather watch this on TV.
        It tones it down.”

        –Laurie Anderson

  • greenmanTN

    Spoiler alert: it’s Ivanka.

    • BlindBill

      or the daughter that he does not want to hump – Tiffany …she wants to be a lawyer, that should be qualification enough for dementia-don

      • greenmanTN

        I’m sure she’s a regular Oliver Wendell Holmes or Clarence Darrow.

  • JT
  • Betcha that Orange Fascist™ is hoping upon hope that this new reality show will make folks forget about the Muslim ban. His most loyal trumpanzes will jump to this new storyline, but somehow I doubt that is going to true with all.

  • William

    The losers receive a case of Rice-a-Roni.

  • AdamTh

    Will there be a band, confetti and a crown for the winner?

    Oh! This is so EXCITING!!!

    (sarcasm)

  • CubbyPQ

    First he’ll increase the size of the Supreme Court to 11, then he’ll nominate 3 extreme right justices.

    • Bad Tom

      Executive Orders are standing by!

  • ryan charisma

    and I will watch “Two Broke Girls”

    and the Dems will filibuster your sorry-ass nomination you fucking old man.

  • DaveMiller135

    Ladies and Gentlemen, The Next. United. States.
    Supreme.
    Court.
    Justice.

    Will.

    Be.
    [music up]
    [cue commercial]

  • Boreal

    If we had an actual opposition party, his nominee’s vote would never come up.

  • sword

    Supreme Court Justices do not have to be lawyers. Steve Bannon? He can always get an online degree overnight from Trump University.

  • bobbyjoe

    But on a reality show, there would actually be suspense. Trump’s choices are always so predictable.

    All you have to do is say: “Who would be the absolute worst choice for the position in every way possible?”

    And that’ll be it.

    • kareemachan

      Coulter?

  • BlindBill

    Didn’t dementia-don have an official phone conversation with puttie this weekend? I guess Vlad made up his mind and told puppet-donnie who to pick. …wonder what else they talked about – seams Russia is being kept out of the news lately.

  • Sam

    Let’s see what’s airing at 8pm Tuesday:

    CBS – CBS special: super bowl greatest commercials 2017
    ABC – The Middle (repeat)
    NBC – The Wall (LeBron James game show)
    FOX – New Girl (repeat)

    I would gladly endure any of these shows, complete with extra commercials, before giving the #POSOTUS a minute more attention. Any broadcast network that dares to pre-empt such truly American programming for the Trump Show should have it’s license revoked.

  • pj

    will there be a cage match?

  • Mike__in_Houston

    I’d give Joe’s post and comment 10,000+ upvotes if I could.

  • Texndoc
  • Acronym Jim

    Well at least this announcement won’t cut into the Rachel Maddow show this time.

  • If it is not Merrick Garland, I will want Senate Democrats to block the nomination, and any other nomination, for *any* judicial appointment to be made by Trump. Of course, that will invite the GOP to use the “nuclear option” – but I don’t care. Unfortunately, they’re not going to listen to me. #ITMFA

  • Djurisk
  • Natty Enquirer

    Will it be a Kardashian?

  • Brian in Valdosta

    Want to make it stop (and by “it” I mean “him”)? Stop paying attention to it.

  • kareemachan

    Love how he feels it necessary to put the ‘(W.H.)’ there.

  • EdA

    I hope that the ratings are even lower than Celebrity Apprentice. (Actually, I hope, but do not expect, that the networks will not bother covering it.)

    For my part, there is an episode of Chopped Junior or of Pawn Stars that I plan to watch instead, since these would have more integrity and a great deal more honesty.

  • lymis

    I wonder if he’s actually asked the nominee if they want to serve?

  • LesbianTippingHabits

    Not re tipping, but at least it appears that Donald Trump has updated his photo on his personal Twitter account. Thank you.

  • SFBruce

    He’d planned to announce on Thursday, but decided to move it up to take attention off the immigration debacle.

  • Crow on a Top Hat

    Why did we have to get stuck with the worst genre of television. I would have settled with a dumb sitcom.

    • Mickey Bitsko

      I for one would be perfectly happy with nothing but My Mother The Car reruns for the next four years. Sorry Ann Sothern, but I hated hated hated that show.