REPORT: Paul Anka To Perform At Inauguration

Radar Online reports:

President Donald Trump did it his way — and Paul Anka will let him know it! A source close to the “(You’re) Having My Baby” crooner, 75, told Radar exclusively that he will buck the trend of most singers and perform his song “My Way” at the Inauguration January 20. . .with lyrics re-written for the incoming Commander-In-Chief!

“Paul was asked by the members of the Trump inauguration committee and he was only too happy to do it for his longtime friend,” said an Anka insider. “While everyone else was running scared from performing at the inauguration, Paul stood fast,” the source added. “He wasn’t about to be intimated by anyone!”

Anka last appeared on the pop charts in 1983.

  • perversatile

    I have no eyes left to roll…

  • Butch

    What a man – won’t be “intimated!” And talk about star power. Move over you pathetic A listers.

  • Pollos Hermanos

    I heard in another report that he’s rewriting the lyrics of “My Way” to be specific to Trump (not kidding).

    I wonder what he’s going to rhyme with orange?

    http://www.broadwayworld.com/article/Paul-Anka-to-Sing-Customized-Version-of-My-Way-at-Trump-Inauguration-20170112

    • GayOldLady

      Mistakes, I never make, I never do, because I’m bigly
      I know some folks who do, but all those folks, they make me giggly
      I can’t, admit I’m wrong, and if you do, you’ll hit the highway
      Time to get on board and do it my way.

      • Piercedchrlz

        GayOldLady for the win!

      • CanuckDon

        That’s perfect!

      • perversatile
        • PeterC

          Terrible

        • olandp

          I made it exactly one minute.

        • TuuxKabin

          and in the original German?

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q22N1dSXiN0

          • perversatile

            Nina Hagen doing Sid Vicious’ version of Vegas Lounge Act Era Frank Sinatra is just so layered it makes me squee.

          • KCMC

            NINA!!!

          • TuuxKabin

            für immer!

          • TuuxKabin

            Apparently she just can’t help it. She’s just that way.

          • perversatile
          • TuuxKabin

            Love her, you too, so much.

          • Dagoril

            I saw her live, shortly after the death of Kurt Cobain. She puts on a really good show.

          • TuuxKabin

            When we saw her a ‘space craft’ was lowered to the stage and she stepped out of it wearing those tiny white xmas tree lights, covering her bustier. Drag queens were crying in delight. She’s a force of nature.

      • Bj Lincoln

        Awesome hon.

      • cleos_mom

        “Don’t be stupid
        Be a smarty
        Come and join
        The Trumppettes’ party.”

        • TuuxKabin

          No, No, NO a thousand times NO.

      • Kruhn

        That’s why the [Gay Old] Lady ain’t a Tramp!

    • BobSF_94117

      …. Orahnge
      …. Assange…

  • Gustav2

    “everyone else was running scared”

    No, they are not scared, but they are running away.

  • GayOldLady

    Congrats Paul, you FINALLY got a gig. Don’t forget to bring a pointy hood.

  • danolgb

    Never has this seemed more appropriate.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlKao_Pox5A

    • perversatile
      • BearEyes

        Lady of Spain will never sound the same again

      • Bared Bear

        I have rocked many a party with just that about that much going for it.

      • Derrick Johns

        I upvoted your photo,perversatile. It’s hilarious, but are the cats real? If they are I would certainly invite them to my next party…well, it’ll be my wake.

        • perversatile

          The cats definitely have a Maurice Sendak thing going on.

      • KP

        The Man Who Loved Cat(s) Dancing

    • Oh’behr

      Hmm, I think in this case of the coronation, one would want the monsters to show up, please!

      • danolgb

        The monster is being sworn in.

  • marshlc

    I love the persecution narrative.

    Those who are refusing to perform are not just following their own conscience and sense of what is best to do for their own lives, no, they’re “intimidated”.

    • CanuckDon

      Ahhh….they’re just using that “soft sensuality” approach that they’re noted for.

    • Buford

      Yep. As I wrote elsewhere, it’s hard to reconcile their bragging about their landslide victory and their huge political mandate with their framing of Anka’s acceptance as a brave act of defiance.

  • Tiger Quinn

    I just left him a cordial but nasty message on Facebook.

    • Piercedchrlz

      “cordial but nasty”

      My favorite communication style.

  • Eric Lewis

    Hundreds of thousands of millennials currently Googling “Who is Paul Anka”

    • Piercedchrlz

      Then saying, whatev.

    • CanuckDon

      Likely Generation X as well.

      • Todd20036

        I didn’t know who he was (I was born in 68 which makes me an older X)

        • Gustav2

          His first hit was in 1957

          • TuuxKabin

            What hit him? A Mack truck?

          • Derrick Johns

            Actually, I think I remember the song. It was “Lonely Boy”
            I’m just a lonely boy.
            Sounds kinda’ Gay, doesn’t it?
            I can remember that, but I can’t remember where left my toothbrush last night.

          • TuuxKabin

            “Lonely and Blue, I’m all alone (rightly so) with nuttin’ to do . . . “.

            That Lonely Boy? Ay. Mama.

            I always look in my mouth when I can’t find my toothbrush, or hair. I use it to back comb my do’s and don’ts.

          • Oh’behr

            Lol. That’s great. As Tony the Tiger would say.

          • TuuxKabin

            Love them tygies. Stared at his physique while eating breakfast, day dreaming.

        • Randy Left Brooklyn

          You never heard “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do” or “Calendar Girl”? I’m sure your grandmother liked him.

          He was old fashioned even when he was young. Like many others I assumed he was already dead.

      • Chris H.

        I was born in ’79 and had to go “Who?”

        • Philly Mike

          I was born in ’62 and had to go “Barf!”

          • JDS

            Exactly. Drupmphf is getting an old washed up has been singer. Can this guy even hit the notes correctly anymore?

          • Steverino

            A has-been performing for a wanna-be.

          • Kruhn

            At least, Trump could’ve aimed higher on the Vegas retiree act, like Wayne Newton (who I believe supported Trump). As someone who loves 40s-50s crooners (and I’m a spry early 40s) it’ll be gross hearing one of Frank Sinatra’s signature songs being rewritten to honor the Orange One.

          • Captain Jack

            Now he is getting a Jennifer Hudson and a 3 Doors Down …

          • JDS

            Well those people now piss me off.

          • Captain Jack

            I assume Drumph will be lipsinking I’m Not Going and Kriptonite…arg!!

          • JCF

            Say-Wha-Huh???

          • Captain Jack

            Update for my 11 hour old post.. see Joe’s later post, Hudson asked but not confirmed

          • David Walker

            That’s why god invented lip-synching.

          • JDS

            Oh, you mean like Mariah did and failed at?

          • Nick in Pasadena

            I’m not a huge Anka fan, but I saw him perform last year in Orange County and was extremely impressed. His voice is as good as ever and he was out among the audience, leaping over seats. That said, although not overt about his right-wing leanings, they certainly came through.

          • David Milley

            Born in ’54, I went “oh, ye gods, no!”

          • rubellapox2

            Lol…

          • Mariarmccoy

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !mj228d:
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !mj228d:
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          • TuuxKabin

            Born in 46 and went, “he’s not dead yet?”

          • GayOldLady

            My thoughts exactly.

          • Anastasia Beaverhousen

            Love the “Music Man” reference

          • Nowhereman

            ’51 –I remember him all too well. Mostly for that insipid egotistical and sexist song “Having My Baby”. I wanted to slap him silly every time I heard it. Now he plans on ruining Frank Sinatra’s signature song.

          • cleos_mom

            Of course, the guy in “Having My Baby” waxes rhapsodic over the birth; no mention of any connection to the offspring after that.

          • JCF

            Every XX person born in ’62 also Barfed! Philly Mike, and raised you a uterus-clutch. “Having my baby”: not since what happened in ’73, mofo!*

            * Roe v Wade, young’uns.

        • Gerry Fisher

          If you can stomach it, look up “You’re Having My Baby” on YouTube for some 70s cheese. Right up there with “The Streak,” “Convoy,” and “You Light Up My Life.”

        • Todd Allis

          Born in the summer of 1969, and he sounds vaguely familiar.

      • Earl

        I sorta knew who he was, in that he was a horrid 1950s white male singer. But my parents adopted me, they were old enough to remember Anka as a very young man.

        • KCMC

          Kodak commercial, short shorts with Elvis. Oh my. https://youtu.be/VCnlU-92sn4

          • Philly Mike

            Wow his wife is a doppleganger for Linda Evans in this picture which is a compliment.

      • Gee
        • David Walker

          I was hoping for “previous commitments,” but a custody battle for his son? Srsly? I will say that I hadn’t heard “You’d have a better chance sneaking a sunrise past a rooster” when asked if he shared the soon-to-be asshole-in-chief’s political views.

          • loosevowels

            he’s got them (? )

            Jennifer Holliday, Toby Keith, Jon Voight, 3 Doors Down to Play Trump Inauguration Concert at Lincoln Memorial http://www.towleroad.com/2017/01/jennifer-holliday-trump/

          • Nick in Pasadena

            What in the hell is Jon Voight going to ‘play’?

          • Philly Mike
          • John

            an old skin flute????

          • JCF

            Damn, I was all ready to make a “‘doing crystal meth’: sounds like Drumpf’s supporters alright!” joke, but that was Third Eye Blind, not 3 Doors Down. * [I just look at 3 Doors Down’s website: I recognize the titles of their “Greatest Hits” as being some 90s band, but I’m damned if I can actually remember any of the songs]. At any rate: Feck ‘Em! Feck ’em ALL!

            * Semi-Charmed Life

            http://replygif.net/i/993.gif

      • Nic Peterson

        I can vouch for my demographic. Anka can’t even get a Vegas gig. I heard he would attend the opening of an envelope if the press would cover it.

    • Kim K’s Kute Koochy✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      “The best, biggest, tremendous, yugeee dancer — I mean singer” says Orange Chimp

    • DJ John Bear

      Or “what’s a Paul Anka”?

      • Bob Conti

        I think it’s a sore inside the mouth.

        • TuuxKabin

          Apply a lil’ salt directly to it. Burns like hell, but clears it out.

          • Artsy

            Actually a bit of hot sauce administered with a Q-tip stops the cancre sore pain immediately. Capsaicin. Google it.

          • TuuxKabin

            Yep. Capsaicin and I are good friends. We have roasted jalapenos almost daily, some times twice a day. Use it, lightly, in my socks to keep feet warm.

          • LoriLawAndOrder

            And cops know that a tiny spray of the aerosolized form will stop those criminal xxxxxxx real quick!

      • JCF

        Offensive term for a Polish woman: Polanka!

    • KCMC
      • Dazzer

        At his age now, I rather hope he doesn’t.

    • Oh’behr

      Even 60 year old me had to think of when his last hit was until I read further into Joe’s post. 1983; gosh I thought it was in the 1970s. Come to think of it, I couldn’t remember any of Paul Anka’s songs and I was kept thinking of (for some reason of Mash and) Alan Alda whom I’d rather watch or see. I really didn’t like much of the 1970s. Paul Anka being one of the boulders of that decade.

    • Frank McCormick
    • loosevowels

      someone has an upcoming tour and wants to sell tickets

      Donald Trump Inauguration No ‘My Way’ with Paul Anka … But It’s Not Political
      http://www.tmz.com/2017/01/13/donald-trump-inauguration-paul-anka-my-way/

    • Jeffg166

      Let see if Paul makes it until next Friday he is 75. Have to wonder if pee-pee Don will make it the way he’s throwing hissy fits.

    • Michael White

      I was born in 51 and I thought he had died years ago

      • nocadrummer

        Baby Boomer here too… and I thought he wasn’t around anymore as well.

    • Nowhereman

      Made me laugh. All I remember about him is that gawd-awful song “Having My Baby”. I still get a little bile coming up just thinking about it. Sad that he will be ruining Frank Sinatra’s signature song.

    • justme

      Why not Millie t’Willie???

    • Roy Biv

      nah, I didn’t bother.

  • geoffalnutt

    Wait. That’s a picture of the plastic action figure. Mattel made it for a while in the 1960s. It’s probably worth twice its original price by now…so that would be $1.59.

  • gaymex1

    Who?

  • WitlessProtection

    Wow I thought maybe 2016 got him but I guess this will be HIS year to make a comeback…./s

  • Brendan Denehy

    Appropriate for a Republican to have a singer from the 1950’s since that’s where they want to take the country.

    • Amanda B. Rekendwith

      His base will love this pick.
      Everyone else, not so much.

  • Bared Bear

    Awww, did they dig him up just for lil ol’ Trump? I was hoping for a stirring rendition of Cat Scratch Fever from the Mormon Tabernacle Chore for the Pussy Grabber-Elect.

  • madknits

    Crikey, I didn’t know he was still alive.

    • TuuxKabin

      I’m not sure he is.

      • The Return of Traxley

        He probably isn’t sure, either.

  • AdamTh

    “His Way” based on “My Way”? I’m guessing one line might go something like “..and he did it his way..”

    Sounds more like a eulogy than a celebration. Maybe Anka is on to something….

    • cleos_mom

      If they’re mining later Sinatra hits, Trump’s reaction to “The Man In The Looking Glass” or “It Was A Very Good Year” might at least be entertaining.

      I won’t see it since I plan to be either at the movies or on a quality-time hike with my dog, depending on the weather.

      • TuuxKabin

        Hmmmmm, I’m TuuxKabin and I approve quality time hike mit der pooch.

  • Mark Neé Fuzz

    You young ones can Google “fossilized has been”.

    • Bared Bear

      My first thought was, “I thought he was already dead…”

    • perversatile

      I got Pat ‘Dick in a Box ‘ Boone…
      Close enough

  • Texndoc

    “You’re havin’ my baby, what a lovely way of sayin’ how much you love me….” or I’m not watching.

    • cleos_mom

      Of course, the song never mentions the speaker’s reaction when he learns about those child support payments.

    • Beagle

      Re-write that one.

      “Grabbin’ your pussy, what a pervy way of sayin’ how much I love you….”

  • ceeenbee

    Wow! paul anka! Who else but the tiny fingered, cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon could have gotten someone so relevant to today’s society to perform. Well done, tiny fingered, cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon. Well done.

  • Gustav2

    Think about it for a moment. ‘My Way’ is perfect for a president with a Trump’s personality disorder.

    • Amanda B. Rekendwith

      ‘My Way’, subtitled ‘Fuck You’.

      • Oh’behr

        I think Donnie has Kali (the goddess) envy. If nothing more than Kali has 4 or 8 hands. That would be a lot of middle fingers for Donnie to go and give to his enemies.

  • TJay229

    Who is Paul Anka?
    What has he ever done for me to care for him?

    • Bared Bear

      Well… I don’t think he was a part of the rat pack. But there is a Las Vegasy smell about him. Something that’s been dumped in the desert maybe?

      • TJay229

        Was he ever on Soul Train?
        Did Ebony or Jet magazine do a cover or article on him?
        Were any of his records produced or cut by Motown, Staxx or Uptown records?

        Then Sir, I. HAVE. NO. REFERENCE. POINT.

        (edit)

        Has he sung with The Jackson 5, Diana Ross & The Supremes, Aretha Franklin, Stevie Wonder, Stephanie Mills, Bobby Womack, Smokey Robinson, The Temptations..? Then he wasn’t played in the houses I grew up in or visited frequently.

        We only enjoyed saltines with soup.

    • Earl

      He’s an old boy band singer. But I don’t think he had a band. I didn’t like 50s music, well not the music sung by the white ‘singers’ of that era.

      • kareemachan

        Also, ‘Having My Baby’ always made me puke.

        No, asshat, I’m having MY baby. Not yours..

        • Earl

          I’m a guy, and that song always creeped me out.

      • TJay229

        Was he ever on Soul Train?
        Did Ebony or Jet magazine do a cover or article on him?
        Were any of his records produced or cut by Motown, Staxx or Uptown records?

        Then Sir, I. HAVE. NO. REFERENCE. POINT.

    • David Milley

      Answer to both questions: Absolutely nothing.

  • DaddyRay

    “HURL ALERT: Inauguration Planner Vows To Surround Trump With “Soft Sensuality” Rather Than A-Listers”
    http://www.joemygod.com/2017/01/10/hurl-alert-inauguration-planner-promises-to-surround-trump-with-soft-sensuality-rather-than-a-listers/

    So basically Paul Anka finally admits he is not an A-Lister

  • Carole Burkey Gathright

    Love Paul Anka and look forward to hearing him sing his song “My Way”. Lets git r done for our new president.

    • Bared Bear

      Thanks. Carole the Cable guy. You’re swell.

    • barrixines

      As it’s something of a trend over the internet perhaps you could tell us why middle aged men in St Petersburg have a tendency to use paedo-y girly cartoons as their avatars.

      • Skeptical_Inquirer

        Maybe the name should be Constantly Being Gaslighted.

      • Bared Bear

        I’m guessing per the previous article on Russia… the young ones are more tender and easier to beat the shit out of.

        • barrixines

          You know it could be an American Alt Right joke I’m just not up on and Bubba here is congratulating himself that I am barking up the wrong tree but at this point their aims are one and the same. Having said that these avatars – and I do see them often – have a sickly, sentimental, disempowering view of women that strikes me as particularly Russian.

    • olandp

      And this is supposed to change our minds about the moron elect?

      Troll fail!

    • TuuxKabin

      Watch it Miss Thing, your Moldovan sensibility is showing.

    • kareemachan

      Russian trollette is moronically trolling.

    • Beagle

      You “git r done” for your president. The rest of us will fight for America.

      • TuuxKabin

        “git r done” for her dictator war criminal.

  • Ninja0980

    Is it bad that I have no clue who this is?

    • TuuxKabin

      No. More of a privilege.

  • ceeenbee

    The tiny fingered, cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon was going to reject anka because he has only been married and divorced twice but, beggars can’t be choosers.

  • Buford

    I’ll state the obvious… if TrumpCo™ has to frame the ‘honor’ of playing at Trump’s inauguration as some sort of brave act of defiance, they just lost this fight.

    • Kim K’s Kute Koochy✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      WRONG
      They’re tired of winning /s

  • 41pc

    Who?

  • DaddyRay

    Some off strip Vegas lounge is missing a 3:00 am act

  • GeneInSJ

    He’s still alive?

  • Michael R

    ” Having My Baby , what a lovely way to say that you are STUPID ” – Judy Tenuta

    • Bj Lincoln

      I hated that song. It was all us female were groomed for then.

      • David Milley

        Yeah — utterly revolting misuse of recording time. But strangely fitting for this inauguration.

    • Ernest Endevor

      I love Judy Tenuta.

      • Michael R

        that may be , but …..

        YOU CANNOT POSSESS !!!

        • TuuxKabin

          No, but we can give canned goods to the Goddess.

        • Ernest Endevor

          It could happen.

      • ChrisInKansas

        i got to see her on my first trip out of Kansas circa 1995, in some comedy club in San Francisco. She was a riot.

    • MichaelJ

      I’ve heard on good authority that Donald has sang that song to more women than he can remember. I haven’t seen any evidence otherwise.

  • Blake Jordan

    An old, straight, white, cisgender man supporting Donnie…

    I am shocked I tell you, shocked!!!

  • Kim K’s Kute Koochy✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    Paul Anka hmmm so soft … so sensual… so presidential…

    • Bared Bear

      Is that sensuality oozing out of him or does somebody need to change his old man diapers?

  • Jason

    Bwahahaha couldn’t they book a Steve and Eydie cover group?

  • greenmanTN

    Personally I was hoping for Charlene to sing “I’ve Never Been To Me,” but apparently I was shooting too high.

    “Paul Anka. Aren’t you dead? Are your sure?”

    • trouble94114

      I actually did that with “You Light Up My Life” at a pizza parlor in Starkville Mississippi, quite a few years ago. Reports are that it only played three times before someone unplugged the jukebox

      • greenmanTN

        I have been told that Charlene is a pretty good singer, but that spoken word part in the middle was straight out of the bowels of hell.

        Side issue, but you have no idea how many times my brother made me listen to the Streisand Superman album!

        I took my revenge with Joan Armatrading. https://youtu.be/Brp8Va8XVQw

        He accused me of being a lesbian.

      • greenmanTN

        Years ago I used to go to this gay piano bar after work, locally known as “God’s Waiting Room” due to the age of its clients. I was by far their youngest client, by decades. (Hush. They did a really heavy pour on their drinks and I was always “the pretty one.”)

        They had a jukebox and somehow it seemed like I always played the same 3 songs.

        R.E.M. -Losing My Religion
        Rolling Stones- Sympathy For The Devil
        Santana- Black Magic Woman

        Starting to see a theme here?

        https://youtu.be/xwtdhWltSIg

  • So life really IS going to be like Fallout 4?

    • Bared Bear

      For me it’ll be more like Fallout 2… where you have to run everywhere until you get bored of the game and never finish it.

      • *rimshot*

        • Piercedchrlz

          Careful “tossing” that term around these parts, you could end up with admirers.

      • Bj Lincoln

        I didn’t get past Fallout 1. Traded it in for store credit at Gamestop.

  • olandp

    Paul Anka? I thought he was dead.

    • Earl

      He’s 75, it’s winter, there’s time.

    • Gustav2

      He has been getting gigs at some of the finer retirement villages.

      • Oh’behr

        I don’t think my 88 year old mom even likes him. Ugh, Paul Anka!

  • Earl

    His career has long been over. It’s a fitting choice to sing at Trump’s inaug.

    As we’ll also soon be over, after Trump’s inaug.

  • Maxracer

    Perfect. Get an old Canadian who falsely claims he wrote My Way, when all he did was write English lyrics to a French song titled Comme d’Habitude. An egotistical faker is the ideal guy to perform for Trump.

    • The Return of Traxley

      Canadian, you say?

      Bringing in more foreigners to do Amercans’ work?

      FAKE NEWS

    • bambinoitaliano

      Have mercy on a senior who never get invited to anything anymore. Those tv dinner he had is driving him insane. Let him have this one and the nurse can always tell him the next day it’s just another vivid dream of his before he bites the dust.

    • Acronym Jim

      From Wikipedia:

      “Paul Anka, after hearing the song while watching French television in Paris, bought the song’s publication and adaptation rights but the original songwriters retained the music-composition half of their songwriter royalties.”

      This could get very interesting very quickly.

      • beariac

        Oui!

    • TuuxKabin

      He takes it home. All the way home.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GME3fMeK5ts

    • Oh’behr

      I didn’t know that about him. Thank you.

  • ok, i guess i have to delete a lot of almost comments again today.

    can yall just forgive me? brain injury. i’m still dealing with it and in fact, i think it’s getting worse.

    my fingers want to write a book. no one wants to read it. i almost tried to kill someone last night, that much i remember.

    “fuck with me, i’ll put a cap in your ass.” but see, i’m a good progressive and i don’t really want to kill anyone. this is the brain problem. it makes you not know yourself. but also, it makes you know yourself… too much.

    • perversatile

      All you gotta do is just keep being you, (and always wear gloves) -xoxo

    • Piercedchrlz

      I’ll read whatever you write and not judge once. These times push us to our limits. We can survive and thrive!

    • barrixines

      There’s been comments of yours when I thought you may not be quite ok that were a pleasure to read anyway. All the best in getting there.

    • Derrick Johns

      huh? Maybe you ought to leave Chicago, darlin’.

    • The Return of Traxley

      I wish you peace, calm, and safety.

      These are times pushing all of us, even the most resilient ones, to the edge of our endurance.

  • Jason

    Hahahha and he’s Canadian

  • ceeenbee

    PERFORMERS AT OBAMA INAUGURALS

    Bruce Springsteen
    Garth Brooks
    Sting
    Mary J. Blige
    Mariah Carey
    Usher
    Shakira
    Jonas Brothers
    Miley Cyrus
    Demi Lovato
    JAy-Z
    Aretha Franklin
    Jennifer Hudson
    Alicia Keys
    Stevie Wonder
    Tony Bennett
    Kelly Clarkson
    Beyoncé
    James Taylor
    Lady Gaga
    Smokey Robinson
    Brad Paisley
    John Legend
    Soundgarden
    Far East Movement
    Black Violin
    Fun
    Glee cast
    Maná

    PERFORMERS AT THE tiny fingered, cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon INAUGURAL

    Jackie Evancho
    Mormon Tabernacle Choir (Some of them anyway)
    The Rockettes (A few anyway)
    The B Street Band (A Springsteen cover band)
    Paul Anka???

    * and don’t forget karyoke at one of the inaugural balls.

    BWAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

    • Kim K’s Kute Koochy✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      but Obama couldn’t get the biggest reality star & ratings machine DJT. What a loser!

    • Shakesbear

      In regards to the B Street Band. Are they going to be performing covers of Bruce Springsteen songs. Does Springsteen have any say in this?

      • zhera

        If they do perform any Springsteen covers, you can bet it’ll be Born In The USA. Completely without irony. Because they don’t get the song at all.

      • Kruhn

        Nope. Covers are considered fair use under copyright law.

        • Oh’behr

          Darn. It’d be fun to sue Trump anyway.

        • Jude Newton

          Thanks. I was wondering the same thing too. Did not know that.

      • ChrisMorley

        Even E Street Band bassist Garry Tallent was angered, tweeting: “Please tell me this is more fake news. Or at least a joke.”

        But the B Street Band were booked for the non political Garden State Presidential Inaugural Gala – New Jersey State Society’s
        bash for a new president, held in Washington DC at every inauguration, well before tRump was even a candidate.

        Forte told Rolling Stone the band had been booked for the event just a week after performing at the 2013 inauguration. In a statement to fans, he said: “In 2009, The B Street Band was honoured to be contracted by the NJ inaugural ball to perform at their gala celebrating Barack Obama’s election. The NJ State Society was so impressed, they immediately hired the band for their gala four years later in 2013. At that time we performed for President Obama’s successful re-election. The gala again enjoyed our NJ Shore-flavoured style and signed us a third time for the 2017 gala.”

        https://www.theguardian.com/music/2017/jan/13/bruce-springsteen-tribute-band-trump-inauguration-gala-b-street

    • kareemachan

      Soft. Sensual. Puke-making.

    • Artsy

      Anka is the poor man’s Tony Bennett.

  • Blackfork

    So has-been.

  • Eric Lewis

    Wait Paul Anka is Canadian … Trump once again outsourcing American jobs to foreigners.

    • DaddyRay

      Once again foreigners doing jobs Americans won’t do

      • Eric Lewis

        Touche

    • Hue-Man

      Nickelback wasn’t available?

      I hope they take his Order of Canada away. Here’s his write-up when it was awarded:

      One of the most popular singer-songwriters of our time, Paul Anka began
      his journey to stardom in Ottawa in the early 1950s. Hits like Diana,
      Lonely Boy and Puppy Love catapulted him to the top of the charts, an
      unprecedented achievement for an 18-year-old. He has sold over 60
      million records, impressing both his public and peers with his unique
      blend of talent and ambition. Generous with his time and talent, he
      promotes a number of charitable causes and fundraising events, including
      A Night to Remember, in support of the Canadian Liver Foundation. In
      addition, his commitment to aspiring Canadian performers and composers
      has been unwavering.

  • Jay Silversmith

    Paul Anka is still alive? Is he, like, Chachi’s grandfather or something?

    • TuuxKabin

      Sorta.

  • BaoPhac Do
  • barrixines

    Well, with Paul Ankamatronic on board there’s going to be at least one person as orange as Twitler present.

  • DesertSun59

    Perfect. Anka will be feeding directly into Trump’s ego.

    Time to say FUCK YOU, ANKA.

  • Philly Mike

    The panties wil be flying!

  • Derrick Johns

    It figures. I told y’all that all Trump needs now is Wayne Newton and Loretta Lynn to make it complete. Oh, you might throw in Pat Boone.

    Oh, how exciting. I wonder if Don King could recite some poetry.

  • dcurlee

    Well I guess at his age he doesn’t have a career to kill

    • CanuckDon

      Just his back.

  • The Return of Traxley

    Keep fucking that chicken.

  • ceeenbee

    I hear he’s going to rewrite the lyrics of an old Tony Orlando song.

    “Tie a YELLOW ribbon
    on the tiny fingered, cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon. . . ”

    I must admit. It is catchy.

  • royinhell

    “And now the end is near…”
    Appropriate.

    • teeveedub

      Hehehe. You beat me to it.

  • teeveedub

    ♫ “And now, the end is near …” ♫

    How appropriate for tRump’s inauguration.

  • Clair

    Boo-urns! Boo-urns!

  • bambinoitaliano

    It’s okay folks. There’s nothing to protest against someone with an extinguished career. Not even if you dig out the old 45 and burn them. By the way is he not the father in law of Justine Bateman?

  • Sam_Handwich
  • Pablo Sánchez

    Perry Como was their first choice… But then they found out he died in 2001.

    • M Jackson

      Perry dodged that bullet.

  • Rick Hammond

    Who?

  • dalnat

    I L O A T H E “My Way.”
    I refer to it as “The Assholes’ National Anthem.”

  • ColdCountry

    Wait. People are turning Trump down because they’re afraid??? Of what, ruining their reputations?

    But now I have a fantasy: Paul gets up there and belts out a parody of his song, totally dissing Trump. A girl can dream….

  • BeaverTales

    Is Melania going to do a lap/pole dance to “My Way”? This could actually be interesting…

  • Rex

    I just threw up in my mouth a little.

  • cleos_mom

    “You’re Having My Baby”, sung by an ersatz Mormon Tabernacle Choir, was the centerpiece of “WKRP In Cincinnati’s” hilarious first episode. Maybe the Fifties fossil is anticipating the real MTC as backup chorus.

  • BlindBill

    can you even imagine the self-adulation of the planning committee ..”We found someone who will perform…” (how far down the list was Paul Anka, and will he have to pay for his own food and lodging?)

    • The Return of Traxley

      #2358

      Yes

  • kareemachan

    Wait a cotton-picking minute: is this a different ‘My Way’ or is it SINATRA’s ‘My Way”? If so, calling it Paul Wanker’s is disgusting.

  • Oikos

    The fact that he is still alive is more astounding to me than him performing at dump’s coronation.

  • bambinoitaliano

    Victoria Jackson and her ukulele not available?

    • Oikos

      There is still time.

    • geoffalnutt

      Marianne Rump and her world-renowned “Zither Fantasy”.

  • Happy_Housewife

    Oh my God. The Radio City Rockettes, The Mormon Tabernacle Choir and Paul Anka?

    It’s not an inauguration, It’s a 1960’s television special. Are they going exhume Jackie Gleason or Ed Sullivan to host?

    • Oikos

      Lawrence Welk

      • Happy_Housewife

        Someone call The Lennon Sisters. And let’s get the June Taylor Dancers back together.

        • Oikos
          • Natty Enquirer

            Chilling as always. Welk ran quite the TV sweatshop.

          • KCMC

            OMG. Dad loved them, he was from near Algo, IA.

          • Oikos

            My grandmother would watch it regularly.

          • Treant

            And my grandfather.

            Strangely, my mom prefers Lady Gaga.

          • TuuxKabin

            “Turn off the bubble machine. Would somebody please turn off the bubble machine?”

          • Oh’behr

            I learned some geography by watching LW with my cousins. There wasn’t much else to watch on the one station which we clearly could get in the 1960s/early 1970s from Alexandria, MN on the TV. I think that TV saved my parents and aunt(s)/uncle(s) sanity on rainy days at the lake cabin. Though by the time I was a teen, we mostly watched to snicker at LW. Yet not sarcastically snicker too loudly. Otherwise we’d banished from the TV zone. Laughing along with LW was still okay. Lol.

          • KCMC

            Alexandria, MN? OMG! spent my 1st 20 years in Sioux Falls, SD!

        • TuuxKabin
        • Happy_Housewife

          I actually love the Lawrence Welk Show. They were playing reruns on the PBS channel, and it reminds me of sitting with my Grandma watching TV.

          And If I see a Lawrence Welk album at a thrift shop, I’m all over it. Same with The Lennon Sisters. They had (have?) beautiful voices, and they put out the campiest Christmas album ever.

        • M Jackson

          The Lennon Sisters if the fourth one on the left is Kristen Wiig. The tiny hands would be SO appropriate!

    • The Return of Traxley

      Wink Martindale is still with us, lord willing. LOL to your family.

    • Treant

      I hear Marie Osmond also volunteered, but hasn’t been accepted. Her last chart-breakin’ hit was something like 1995.

      • Dazzer

        Why did she offer? I thought she was one of the more ‘liberal’ Osmonds?

        • Treant

          It was a Queerty article, so you know what those are worth. She, like, thinks we should all, like, totally unite behind, like, our President.

          Typical conservative shit, in other words.

          https://www.queerty.com/marie-osmond-volunteers-sing-trumps-inauguration-despite-nobody-asking-20170112

          There it is! Subtitled, “Anything for a Buck.”

          • Dazzer

            Many thanks. I just did a bit of internet research and apparently Ms Osmond has now withdrawn her offer to perform. LOL Instead, she will now be ‘holidaying’ with her family!

          • Treant

            Wevs, Marie, I guess it didn’t get much attention from either side. 🙂

          • M Jackson

            Glad to hear it. I like Marie and want to think good of her.

    • Ray Butlers

      Guest starring Ruta Lee and Peggy Cass.

      • Artsy

        And any living members of Hee Haw

  • ChrisQuinton

    Born in 44 – Good Grief! He’s still alive? Anka wasn’t that much of a high-flyer back then, so *shrugs* at least he’s getting obviously much-needed publicity – though whether it’s the right kind…

  • romanhans

    At least Anka doesn’t need to rewrite the words “And now, the end is near.”

  • Natty Enquirer

    “And now, the end is near …” {kerplop]

    • Dazzer

      Exactly what I was thinking!

  • Mike__in_Houston

    I hate to hear this. “Diana” and “Hound Dog” were my very favorite songs when I was in the first grade. I’ll console myself with the fact that Elvis would never have agreed to perform at the orange shitgibbon’s coronation…

  • Rex

    Boycott Paul Anka!
    Which I’ve been doing my entire life.

  • bambinoitaliano

    This is pretty much the story of orannge cheetos life. A party throw by him or for him that most people do not wish to attend. I can imagine many celebrities even the has been are crossing their fingers hoping not to be contacted or shut down their communication line until a week after.

  • Oikos

    Hoping 2017 will make a cameo appearance.

  • Tom G

    Here’s a guy with nothing to lose.

    • Dazzer

      And not much to look forward to,

      • TuuxKabin

        And a hell of a lot less to look back at.

  • TheJudgement

    Hilarious comments here!

  • Dubito et cogitare

    With the anti-choice whackjobs in Trump’s cabinet, I won’t be surprised if he reworks the lyrics to another of his songs and croons “Having My Baby, Yes You Are, Like It or Not.”

    • Jimmy R

      He might change that lyric from “having my baby” to “grabbing my pussy.”

  • nocadrummer

    Geez! I hadn’t heard of Paul Anka in decades! I thought he was dead!

    • TuuxKabin

      Isn’t he?

    • AtticusP

      “Geez! I hadn’t heard of Paul Anka in decades! I thought he was dead!”

      If he performs at Trumpissalooza, only from the neck up…

  • Acronym Jim

    Pleasepleaseplease let the new lyrics be a roast of Trump.

  • chrise17

    Are we sure its this Paul Anka and not the Dog from Gilmore Girls?

  • Sean Taylor

    lol, they’re scouring the nursing homes for talent now

    • Dazzer

      They’ll be trying the funeral homes next.

      • Sean Taylor

        they did that in November

    • Oh’behr

      Cremated urn after that …

  • Treant

    Well, that’s a waste of his last ten minutes of life.

  • mikeinftl

    Is Paul Anka still a thing? I remember he was old when I was young.
    Singer at inauguration is 75. Sad.

  • Westcoast88

    Like Ted Cruz, Paul Anka wasn’t even born in the US.
    Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  • Nick Abner Poff

    I’m not too surprised. He went all kinds of capitalist Republican type show biz guy a long time ago. And he probably hasn’t set foot in his native Canada — except maybe for an Oldies tour — in over fifty years. Oh well. He’s not on my ipod. Don’t have to worry about deleting songs tonight.

  • Nax

    Well, that’s it! I’m NEVER going to buy another Paul Anka record!

    • Mike

      And for vacation next year, Branson is out!

  • Acronym Jim

    The original lyrics would ironically be more appropriate for what we may be facing this point in American history.

    “And now, the end is near
    And so I face the final curtain
    My friend, I’ll say it clear
    I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain
    I’ve lived a life that’s full
    I traveled each and every highway
    And more, much more than this, I did it my way

    Regrets, I’ve had a few
    But then again, too few to mention
    I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption
    I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway
    And more, much more than this, I did it my way

    Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
    When I bit off more than I could chew
    But through it all, when there was doubt
    I ate it up and spit it out
    I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way

    I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried
    I’ve had my fill, my share of losing
    And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
    To think I did all that
    And may I say, not in a shy way
    Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way

    For what is a man, what has he got?
    If not himself, then he has naught
    To say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels
    The record shows I took the blows and did it my way

    [instrumental]

    Yes, it was my way”

  • edrex

    well, there’s the kick start his career has been waiting for. Break a leg…. no. really.

  • RobynWatts

    Well all righty, them! Paul is just going to have a couple of explicit words with his band before the show…..

    https://youtu.be/Jfp7v3ZtPW8

    • KCMC

      un-fucking-noticed. HA

    • Dazzer

      At least that explains why he’s so enamoured of Trump. He probably has a bulk purchase deal because “The men need fucking shirts!”

  • Gerry Fisher

    >“He wasn’t about to be intimated by anyone!”

    Gee, he makes performing for a fascist sound like an act of integrity.

  • Ray Butlers
  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    Of course he won’t be intimidated, he has no career to lose at this point.

  • Call Me Miss Ross

    Maybe they can get Rula Lenska!

    https://youtu.be/lqUxUC8L0aU

    • M Jackson

      I think Rula had something different in mind when she talked about getting caught in a shower.

      • Dazzer

        She’d also have nothing to do with Trump. As a victim of domestic abuse, she’s been very outspoken about violence against women.

  • TuuxKabin
    • TuuxKabin

      To a dumpster fire?

    • Derrick Johns

      A very complicated song, and very well done by Peggy Lee.

      • TuuxKabin

        Yeah, I think she’s the only one who can ‘do it’.

  • Robincho

    If I saw the USS Urinaugural sinking, I’d happily throw it an anka…

    • Oh’behr

      I love it. Great comment. Thank you.

  • Mike

    Here’s an idea: Anka should sing “I Did It My Way” while mimicking people with physical and mental disabilities. That would be doing his part to make the new guy seem normal. and the Republican crowd would love it.

  • Ian

    “My Way” JUST the kind of song people in a democracy want to hear!

    • M Jackson

      People have pointed out that the song does begin with the lyric “And now the end is near”, so there’s that.

  • Will Parkinson

    “You’re having my baby, what a wonderful way of say I grabbed your pussy…”

  • BillTheCat45

    Hard to be “intimidated” when you’re a washed-up nobody.

  • Mark

    Washed up loser has been.

  • CCleverly

    It’s so sad. Paul thought he had won the PCH $5000/week contest. Now he’ll sit next to the main exit of the facility where he lives waiting and waiting. But not to worry… the doors are locked.

  • Thorn Spike

    So they’re down to the Meh list.

  • M Jackson

    Followed by “He’s Grabbin’ My Baby”.

  • karmanot

    Sad…… Has been Inaugural

  • tomfromthenews

    Paul Anka singing “My Way”. Perfect.

    • JWC

      who is up for the challange? Anka is rewriting the words to suit Trump. How about a re rewrite to suite the Non Trumps!!

  • Olive Yurdic
    • TampaDink

      Thanks! From the linked article:
      “It wasn’t meant to be though. Paul explained why he won’t be in D.C. next week. Although many artists are boycotting, he says he would have done it purely out of respect for the office.”
      Paul didn’t seem to have explained anything….unles TMZ left out a few lines.

    • Oh’behr

      Yay! Paul y’anka’d his yes.

  • Mike

    I remember when Andy Williams said that Obama is a Marxist who wants the United States to fail. These washed-up old scumbags know where their bread is buttered.

  • Mrs. Erma Gerd
    • ByronK

      That’s what she said…

  • Tor

    What does he have to lose? I thought he was dead.

  • nocadrummer
    • EdA

      Quote from Raw Story piece,

      When asked if his politics match Trump, Anka said, “you’ve got a better chance getting a sunrise past a rooster.”

  • Michael Hampton

    Who was “running scared” and who is trying to “intimidate” Paul Anka? No one. What a pack a of lies.

  • M Jackson

    I just read on Yahoo that Jennifer Holliday is performing. WTF?

  • We lost Prince and Bowie, but this assclown is still alive?!?

  • NO MORE GOP!

    I think his voice is gone. It was pretty iffy even 30y ago. Let them enjoy his croaking.

  • Kruhn

    Looks like Paul Anka backed down, due “to scheduling conflicts”, but Jennifer Hudson may be on the lineup. Say it ain’t so!

    Here’s the link.

    http://www.broadway.com/buzz/187301/jennifer-holliday-following-bow-in-the-color-purple-will-sing-at-inauguration-celebration-for-donald-trump/

  • In related news, Paul Anka is still alive!

  • WICKET99

    Raw Story says Anka just cancelled, too.

  • Hue-Man

    UPDATE – Paul Anka cancels

    However, contrary to earlier media reports, Anka won’t be singing at the inauguration ball on Jan. 20, despite Trump being “an old friend of
    mine for 50 years.”

    Speaking to celebrity site TMZ.com,the 75-year-old singer-songwriter said he had previously agreed to perform at the Inauguration Day gala for a “first dance” between Trump and his wife, Melania Trump. However, the Ottawa-born Anka — a dual citizen since 1990 — has withdrawn due to an ongoing custody dispute
    with his ex-wife Anna over their preteen son, Ethan.

    “I’ve been in a custody battle for two years for my son Ethan, and we have a new schedule now and I’m unable to do it,” Anka is seen telling TMZ in a video interview posted Friday.

    Though he admitted his views don’t match those of his longtime friend
    Trump, Anka said he had agreed to the performance out of respect for
    the political office.

    “I was hoping there’d be an understanding there, as I have a respect for the presidency,” he said.

    http://www.cbc.ca/news/entertainment/anka-no-trump-inauguration-1.3930941

    • Johnny Wyeknot

      He’s afraid he will lose custody or even visiting rights if he sings at the inauguration

  • Artsy

    No doubt he will perform “Having my baby” since they are outlawing a woman’s right to choose.

  • PollyPositive

    I’m sure he’ll look great, sing well and put on a great show!!

  • Gianni

    No thing or no one could lure me to watch the inauguration.

  • Gianni

    He’s 75 and has pre-teen son? How young is his wife?

  • Pete

    One thing about Trump, he likes to surround himself with lots of has-beens to make him look younger.

  • gothambear

    Maybe he’ll sing “One Man Woman, Two Timing Man” just for kicks

  • SDG

    He turned it down!

  • Tom Kidd

    Paul Anka is like Snake Plissken: I thought he was dead.

  • Johnny Wyeknot

    He has NOTHING to lose, so why not?

    Edit: oops, looks like he did have something to lose–a pre-teen son.

  • NancyP

    This is bad, when only the Medicare-age folks can ID the performer.