TRAILER: Baywatch

Collider reports:

A surprise new NSFW trailer for Paramount Pictures’ Baywatch hit the net today. While there’s plenty of eye candy on display, the only reason this international trailer is NSFW and not straight-up red-band is that there are a few F bombs dropped, reminding us that this is, indeed, an R-rated comedy. But this new cut teases a film that’s much heavier on action and attractive people than anything laugh-worthy.

Seth Gordon‘s feature adaptation opts for a comedic skewering of the hit 90s TV series about sexy lifeguards, now with Dwayne Johnson starring as Mitch Buchannon and Zac Efron co-starring as Matt Brody. Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant first tackled the script, followed up by Damian Shannon and Mark Swift in their comedy feature screenwriting debut. The humor on tap is now solidly in the vein of 21 Jump Street, but this effort falls far short of the timing, satirical style, and natural talent of Phil Lord and Christopher Miller.

A second clip with different scenes was also released today. See it below.

  • Lazycrockett

    Meh I’d rather watch porn.

  • PickyPecker

    Needs more male nudity.

  • safari

    A parody of a TV show that already was a parody of itself went off the air before Bush 1 was put in office…

    …it won’t make a dime.

    And, I’m kind of over Zac.

    • I’ve got nothing against him, but never really was my type in the looks department.

      • Butch

        I’m not going to get myself in trouble by naming names but I know of one website that can’t find enough to print about Zac. I’m making bets with myself right now about how much coverage this movie will get there.

        • Lars Littlefield

          Is it the same web site that spends as much time as possible speculating about Jame’s Franco’s inner gay self? LOL!

          • Butch

            Beiber’s a regular there too. I think you got it.

    • Natty Enquirer

      I like him better as a fem.

  • PopChips

    Honestly, I’d rather drown than watch that nonsense.

  • Kelly Lape

    I remember “babe watch” as a lot of female eye candy… Nice to see they’re doing a one-eighty on the eye candy.

  • Skokieguy [Larry]

    Those are rather heavily painted abs in the photo at the top of the post. He’s obviously got an amazing physique, but is seems rather unnecessary gilding of the lilly.

    • Ben in Oakland

      I will personally volunteer to scrub him down in my own home.
      I hope that will satisfy you.

      • Skokieguy [Larry]

        No doubt it would satisfy him. I’m sure you will be very thorough.

        • Ben in Oakland

          Every nook and cranny. I’ve got a throat scrubber that will work wonders.

        • Todd20036

          I’m not sure I get a vibe from him

  • safari

    At this point we should just bring back Seaquest as a serious drama.

  • Lars Littlefield

    LOL! Babe Watch? When the original series was on TV I regularly went to a Golds Gym in my area. It was a typical burp, fart, growl while cleaning too much weight place. Lots of ‘Roided muscle morphs dragging kuckles as they threw iron. One particular knuckle dragger would show up and start talking about Hasselhoff (sp?). If he was working out next to me he’d say stuff like “He’s the man! He’s got the best body on TV. Great guns”, etc. The twit kept it up so much that the ‘Roids got together and had him banned. I miss that gym. It was a time and place where the overly muscled tended to work out in their speedos. Lots of scenery.

  • Bared Bear

    Never watched even one episode of teevee show. Although Zac is aging pretty well since his Hairspray movie days.

    • Dicky

      I thought that was a joke until I saw the Hairspray movie is 10 years old already…

  • Captain Jack

    A nice distraction for reality..

    • Todd20036

      Not really. LOTR is a nice distraction from reality.

      • i still want to kill the people who made the hobbit disasters happen. talk about Alpha and Omega. krist.

  • PopChips

    The only thing that could make this more of a train wreck is the announcement that David Hasselhoff is providing the soundtrack. Leather pants and all.

    https://youtu.be/PQH-W-yBqvg

    • The Milkman

      I remember this song from my childhood when Glen Campbell did it. Campbell in the 70s was bad enough, but this one makes me want to pull the covers up over my head.

      • agcons

        I’d say that reaction is a rational one these days regardless of what prompts it.

  • Jeffrey

    A movie about an elite team of lifeguards? Call me when Zac Efron gets his dick out. Then Ill get my dick out. But I cant be bothered with soft core porn mixed with hardcore stupid.

    • Rex

      If I wanted to see hardcore stupid I’d watch Fox news.

      • Lars Littlefield

        Sean Hannity nekked? Ewwwwww!

        • Oh’behr

          Isn’t he also on MSNBC yet?!!!

          • Bared Bear

            Nah. He liked being sexually harassed by Ailes.

    • whollyfool

      This comment made my day.

    • StudioTodd

      He better be quick about it…he seems to be aging at a faster rate than normal. It’s like one day, he looked like a pretty 25-year-old and the next, he began to resemble a freeze-dried mummy carcass with thinning hair.

      • Todd20036

        Don’t those come in teriyaki flavored?

      • Jeffrey

        I dont wanna be that guy, but he is looking a little roidy.

  • Todd20036

    Seriously, that wasn’t Baywatch. That was Miami Vice with people in bathing suits.

    Pretty, but I’d sooner just watch porn if that’s all I need to see.

  • Michael R

    Let me save you a few dollars

    https://s24.postimg.org/vc9f3d8f9/freeb.gif

    • Jeffrey

      Now THAT I could watch all day. In 3D.

      • Todd20036

        Pull your eyes away from his abs. There’s something going on in his shorts!

        • Ross

          He has abs?

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        • Jeffrey

          Like a grandfather clock.

        • HoneyBoySmith

          There’s something going on in his shorts!

          C’mon. Do you have any idea who you’re talking to?

          That was the first thing we all noticed!

          • JR

            OMG, I’m slipping. All I saw were abs until I read the above.

            Just shoot me now.

      • Michael R
        • Jeffrey

          I have a straight guy friend who I sometimes meet for basketball and he wears the shorts with no underwear. I try not to focus on it too much, but come on dude you gotta know that your cock is bouncing back and forth. There are times when I can clearly make out the head and I have to force my eyes back up to his face.

          • ChrisMorley

            It is deliberate. It is just that you aren’t the straight female demographic he’s advertising to.

    • KCMC

      Thanks. Slurp. Vegan lunch just got so much more meatier.

    • Todd20036

      Pretty much all you need to see of “Baywatch”.
      Who is this?

      • Lars Littlefield

        Does it matter?

    • Steverino

      I’m really getting hung up on that pic.

    • HZ81

      Thank you. You’ve saved me $15 bucks, at least. Now I can watch it and be disappointed on my couch 4 months from its release.

    • paganguy

      It’s just… mesmerizing.

      • Bared Bear

        I know. He’s so handsome. I never forget a face. Oh… wait.

        • HZ81

          There’s a reason we keep a supply of paper bags under our sinks. God forbid, but still… 🙂

    • Rex

      Can’t. Stop. Watching.

      • JW Swift

        I recently saw a YouTube video of different cuts of Luke Bryan gyrating on-stage, and had a VERY similar reaction. (And I’m not even a fan of his music.)

    • JT

      Couldn’t resist pulling the lever on that slot machine.

    • Jerry

      When that’s in front of me, I automatically reach for the wallet for dollar bills.

      • Whoaa… first gif was nice but this way way better.

      • Guest

        Want to see that same guy, same dance but from the front view. PLEASE! 🙂

    • CharlestonDave

      The camera is too low, and the shorts are too high.

    • JCF

      That dorm fridge ain’t going to stock itself. Werq!

  • dating myself, i’ll say the only thing i really know about this show, other than it being the butt of many jokes. once upon a time, there was this thing called a TV schedule, and this “show” used to come before a show about starships and aliens, back then. i used a device called a “Vee See Arrr” and occasionally the “timer” (just don’t ask, it’s complicated) would fuck up and i’d get a few minutes of a busty woman running on a track of sand in her underwear before the show with the talking robot started. she immediately, um, came to mind. i didn’t even read this post fully, or any comments.

    it’s amazing how pr0n really works, isn’t it?

    • The_Wretched

      “sand in her underwear”
      I don’t recommend running with particulates. It chafes.

      • chafing is like crying. it’s only the beginning.

  • Lars Littlefield

    I just watched the clips. I have to admit that I’m stealing the talking in a high voice to impersonate my balls routine. Very effective.

  • David

    It was filmed here in my hometown of Savannah, Georgia, and 20 miles east on Tybee Island, Georgia. They caused a lot a damage & chaos and pissed off a lot of people here while making the film.

    • Oh’behr

      Thanks for the FYI. I thought it was Miami or Florida.

    • drlouie

      But The Rock did do some good things while he was here. He visited sick children in the hospital.

  • Dk6

    I’m sorry but the roided out look is so tired, I know that the young straights are super into muscle now, but wait until they’re in their 40’s and their fake bodies begin to sag, good luck with that

    • Butch

      Certainly I like to see well-built guys but the “vanity muscle” thing really has gotten carried away. I usually keep that opinion to myself but I agree…..

    • Bared Bear

      I agree. I’m so tired of all of the helium filled muscle and the manscaping and the ugly red stubble in the pubic area.

    • Reasonoverhate

      Efron doesn’t look like he’s on roids. He’s just super lean. Johnson is huge but he’s also a really big guy. You can get big without using roids.

  • TrumpBaby!!

    TRUMP!

  • who is the little ugly guy all the way on the end? (pick one)

  • Oh’behr

    Douche-wash.

  • You can tell Zac likes his nipples toyed with. Just sayin’.

    • Mark Neé Fuzz

      What exactly is wrong with a man liking his nipples roughed up a little?

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    NO

    that is all.

  • Bared Bear

    When’s the Gaywatch XXX parody?

  • Palmer

    Even the pretty can’t save this mess.

    • Beagle

      Tom Lennon is involved. If they’re intentionally playing for laughs, it might be worthwhile.

  • Michael R

    meanwhile …

    Trump’s incoming administration has told Under Secretary for Nuclear Security Frank Klotz and his deputy, Madelyn Creedon, to clear their offices by Trump’s inauguration on Jan. 20.

    • Bared Bear

      Yep. I’m expecting a “Heckuva job, Brownie” moment of doom coming to an area too close to me soon. Wonder what idiot the big orange idiot will offer the position to (via twitter)?

  • Richard McWolff

    Mixed bag of opinions here. I have to admit I was never a fan of the original Bay Watch but this looks pretty funny. I do agree with some of the comments. Why in the hell did Zac get overly pumped up for this role. He either has an amazing trainer and the perfect diet that keeps his body in cut shape or that’s some steroids going on there. When I was suffering with wasting syndrome (HIV POZ here) I was on roids. I never ever looked like that and wouldn’t have wanted too. I do miss the extra muscle but that’s life! lol

  • Mark Neé Fuzz

    Maybe, just maybe, I’d watch if they put the men in skimpy little speedos cut high on the thigh. But the board shorts, nah, not even with abs and pecs.

  • The Milkman

    I know, I know. I should hate this. Because it’s low-brow, puerile, objectifying, and full of gross-out jokes, and has no redeeming artistic qualities.

    But Zac Efron. Jesus Christ on a cracker, I can’t even. Have him washed and brought to my tent.

  • David in Palm Springs

    “Why you holding me so tight?!”
    Nice homophobia there, assholes.

  • Deviancy Behavir

    That movie looks dreadful, but OMFG! Zac Efron is fucking ripped for the ages, they’d have to feed him some fat to be able to find some on him. Damn!

    • GeoffreyPS

      I think it may be in the “so bad it’s good” category.

  • Will Parkinson

    Ugh. Just when you think Hollywood couldn’t sink lower.

  • sword

    I wonder how well Dwayne Johnson would fair in a real Life Guard test swim. The body builders that I know can lift a car but can’t run a sprint without running out of breath.

    • astroworf

      Johnson isn’t a body builder. He’s a pro athlete. Otherwise he’d blow up after a couple minutes in a wrestling ring. He won’t run out of breath after a wind sprint. Trust me.

    • Rt1583

      Not so much the running out of air as sinking like a rock (take the pun as you like it) due to all the muscle mass.

  • jm2

    really? NSFW for language? nothing that we haven’t heard our “president”-elect use…

  • JCF

    How is Zac towards his gay fans? He does know they keep his career going, right?

  • BudClark

    A little something to brighten up an otherwise dreary Tuesday. Zak Efron’s pits and nips are too LIVE for … and his ABS! OH, MYYYYYYY!!!!