HE’LL LIE ABOUT ANYTHING: Trump Falsely Claims That All DC Retailers Are Sold Out Of Inauguration Gowns

In his anti-Streep rant to New York Times today, Donald Trump diverted with some delirious bragging that all of Washington DC’s “dress shops” are sold out of inauguration gowns. Not even close. The Washington Post reports:

Definitely not, said Martha Slagle, vice president and general manager of the Neiman Marcus in Friendship Heights. If a ball attendee were to walk in today, “you have more than a thousand evening gowns to choose from,” she said, noting that the store stocks up every four years in anticipation of inauguration demand. Classic black? Got ’em. Colorful garments? Yep, those, too — plus furs and wraps and evening coats for the notoriously chilly January nights, she said.

Slagle actually laughed when we mentioned Trump’s claim about the status of Washington’s dress options. “I’m stuffed with beautiful gowns,” she said. Even the city’s smaller boutiques still have plenty of stock. “We always have dresses,” said Krista Johnson, the owner of Georgetown designer-consignment shop Ella Rue. “Unless a thousand people came in today, we’d still have choices.” Johnson said her racks include everything from on-trend formal rompers to runway pieces, from labels like Oscar de la Renta, Alexis and Moschino.

  • NO MORE GOP!

    So…. they didn’t stock any, right?

    • Kruhn

      In a town that has been hosting inaugurations for over 200 years. You’d think businesses would anticipate stocking up for the Inauguration by now.

  • JoeMyGod
    • Jeffrey

      One word. Coal.

      • caphillprof

        Whatever happened to plastics?

        • Jerry

          Went the way of the glass factories.

        • clay

          Ayn Rand /s

          • Patriciashamilton

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    • Acronym Jim

      Next up will be the revival of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory complete with vintage regulations.

      • sfmike64

        YOU WILL WEAR SHIRTS WITH DETACHABLE COLLARS AND YOU WILL LIKE IT! Or else.

        • Paula

          And every male in the U.S. will be required to keep their hair styled exactly like Trumps.

          • Bluto

            If so then the stock of rabid ferrets is the problem, not gowns.

          • Artsy

            It is odd how all his sons sport the same hairdo. Even the little one. What is up with that?

          • David Walker

            They get a group rate discount.

          • nocadrummer

            Which they don’t pay for anyway, as it wasn’t to their satisfaction. “Try suing me. Just try.”

          • David Walker

            That’s gonna mean a run on dead squirrels, Paula.

        • Bad Tom

          And they will be made of unstable, flammable Celluloid.
          ——-
          No smoking, please.

          • sfmike64

            I will smoke when and where I want! I’m an American! Oh, look those women are jumping out of this building and landing on the sidewalk. Oops.

          • Bad Tom

            Luckily, you can’t really see all that because it’s your face that’s on fire.

    • JCF

      Next up: build the Atlas Shrugged Express!

  • Cackalaquiano

    You guys! It’s not about what he said, but what’s in his heart…

    • Niblet58

      It means nothing since he hasn’t got a heart.

      • Todd20036

        But he does have a colon, and right now it’s filled to the rim….

        • gaymex1

          Please don’t mention his colon and rim in the same sentence.

        • Steverino

          When Putin is through with him, the prolapse will leave him with a semicolon.

          • gaymex1

            That’s hilarious.

      • JoyZeeBoy

        Or brain.

      • Uncle Mark

        He DOES have heart. It’s just small and shriveled like his other organs…as well as his hands.

    • grindstone

      Thank you, thank you. Kelly Ann’s inanities are so much more palatable prefaced by a whiny, “You GUYYYYYs….”

    • Rex

      So much easier to grab pussy through a cheap gown.

    • Dejerrity Mycron

      “I wouldn’t worry about your heart, Eve. You can always put that award where your heart should be.”

      – Bette Davis in All About Eve

    • David in Tucson

      Hmmm. Why do I think that what’s in his heart is what settles out of the water in a sewage treatment plant?

      • ChrisMorley

        Don’t forget the floaters.

    • TampaDink

      I’m hoping that equates to….plaque. Lot’s & lots of LDL created plaque.

    • Marla R. Stevens

      That’s not a heart. That’s a lump of coal. But, yes, we’re off to see the wizard for sure.

    • AJ Drew

      Suddenly I embrace the Southern saying, “bless his heart (cough.)”

  • Lars Littlefield

    I want an “on trend formal romper.” In orange, please. 🙂

    • Philly Mike

      It is called Penitentiary Formal, heels not permited and don’t even think of belting at the waist.

      • Lars Littlefield

        Thankfully, more room to breathe.

    • David in Tucson

      I have sacrificed my brain by Googling “formal romper.” I will spare all of you what I found. I need brain bleach.

      • Uncle Mark

        You damaged your brain for nothing. Trump’s more into Romper Room than Formal Rompers

  • Jeffrey

    “Hello, is this the Dress Barn?”
    “Yes it is.”
    “I need a fancy formal dress in a 4X”
    “We are literally sold out.”
    “Shit.”

  • bkmn

    Liar-in-chief

    • Oh’behr

      Liar-as-a-Thief

  • Matt

    He’ll literally lie about ANYthing. No shame, no brain.

  • The_Wretched

    More lies to prop up appearances. I’m all but waiting for them to create facades along trump parade routes for the tv cameras.

    • StraightGrandmother

      You are right, it is all a facade.
      Way to distract frim Russian hacking that put you in office, talk about womens dresses.

    • M Jackson

      A Potemkin inaugural.

  • Michael R

    While we argue about nonsense he’s setting up to try to destroy everything .

    • Todd20036

      And the democratic lawmakers are hardly going to make a peep

      • Oh’behr

        That’s what I fear. I hope they do protest. I know the House will do so. Come on Senate! And more than Elizabeth Warren.

  • ETownCanuck

    Is this all due to the fact that no reputable designer wants to dress Melanoma?

    • safari

      She doesn’t need clothing, as we’ve seen.

      • Oh’behr

        Hello Kitty bandaids (in children’s size) will do fine for the inaugural ball.

  • Snarkaholic

    No problem; just steal some white sheets off the nearest clothesline.

  • Taylor

    Which of these makes Trump look totally insecure?

    1) Lying about the inventory?
    or
    2) Actually checking on it?
    or
    3) Both

  • Ben in Oakland

    Does one wear a special gown to an inauguration are there shops that sell only gowns for inaugurations?
    Doesn’t matter to me. I won’t be going.

    • geoffalnutt

      Yeah, it’s the All-nite Gown Hut. Open 24 hours! We deliver!

      • Oh’behr

        I could see that place being in some back alley. Also in an old quonset hut too.

        • geoffalnutt

          “If you’ve got a passion for fashion…”

  • Niblet58

    I bet they have more left over this year than any other….

  • mikeinftl

    Which gown will Putin be wearing? Something off the shoulder?

    • Natty Enquirer

      Off the chest, I would imagine.

    • madknits

      Baring one breast, like an Amazon, no doubt.

  • Pollos Hermanos

    The high end retailers are full but boy howdy are all those Walmart dresses flying off the shelves.

    • Oh’behr

      I didn’t know WalMart sold ball gowns; I suppose sheets and shower curtains will do in a pinch.

  • bambinoitaliano

    Hello JMG folks, when this riglected BLOTUS tells you America is safe from terror attack, it’s a signal to arm yourselves, stock up survival essentials and stay in your bunkers.

  • safari

    He then forces Melania to hand out gowns to the gownless.

  • geoffalnutt

    Oh, please! They just don’t have his size.

    • AJ Drew

      Ha!

    • Natty Enquirer

      The darts are in the right places.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    There has to be a pool somewhere on the odds of him surviving one term.
    I want in.

  • Roger

    Poor Drumpfolini, having no substance whatsoever, all he has is “the show” and sure as hell this is not going well either. This man craves attention, and he is getting it, but not of the sorts he would like, at all…
    It remembers me of a line from the opening number from “Evita”:
    “Instead of government we had a stage
    Instead of ideas, a prima donna’s rage”

    • M Jackson

      He’s high flying adored, with a long long way to fall.

      • Chuck in NYC

        Oh god, how did I avoid thinking until now that someone’s going to be writing an opera about this idiot someday?

        • M Jackson

          If Frank Wildhorn writes it nobody will ever see it.

      • Roger

        Acutally… he THINKS he is, but he´s nowhere near the massive popularity Eva Peron enjoyed in her country. Drumpfolini popularity expectations are already melting right before his orangine face.This his greatest depair.

      • TampaDink

        Adored by the minority of voters….and those non-voters who hate minorities.

    • TampaDink

      Oh what a circus…what a show.

  • Halou

    Question: How many dresses have they actually sold; Is it more or less than previous inaugurations?

  • Piercedchrlz

    Wal-Mart however, is running a tad low…

    • Steverino

      As is Lane Bryant.

      • Oh’behr

        Hmm, I wonder if anyone will show up in a Filene’s Basement already worn wedding dress. Lol.

  • Skokieguy [Larry]

    He will also include the protesters when he brags about how big his inauguration was.

    More people came out to see my historic inauguration than any President in “history”

    Of course the truth will likely be that more people came to protest than to celebrate.

    • Halou

      He will include the massive security arrangements in the “attendance” too.

    • LaChatSayWha

      He’ll probably add the 93% of DC that voted for Clinton. Little nagging facts get stuck in his head then he plugs them into whatever lie he’s currently spewing.

  • gaymex1

    I understand politicos lying about big things. I don’t like it, but I understand why they want to cover their asses.
    I don’t understand a personality that has to lie about almost everything. It’s not only disgusting…it’s totally fucking dangerous…sickening. I want to apologize to the world before he destroys it. I am sorry the U.S. has thrust this idiot to center stage, where he surrounds himself with stooges that are even more dangerous than he is. Please forgive us.

    • canoebum

      He’s not all there, mentally. He should be going into treatment, not the Oval Office.

      • gaymex1

        You’re right, there is no there there.

    • LaChatSayWha

      This constant lying about anything, big or small, reminds me of a girl in my third grade class. She was terminally insecure, and she would lie about anything. If an airplane was seen over the playground, she’d point at it and say, “My dad’s flying that plane.” Or we’d be goofing off at the monkey bars and she’d suddenly say, “I’m going to the olympics. Nadia Comaneci’s coach is going to be my coach.” Just preposterous shit like that.

      It embarrassed us then, and we were 7 or 8 years old. She did grow out of it by the time she hit high school. But she was a complete mess. And the President of the United States is far, far sicker than she was. He’s fucking crazy.

      • gaymex1

        Compulsive lying disorder or patholigical lying…take your pick with Trump. Both can be signs of serious issues or any one of a number of mental disorders or conditions.
        I’d post links, but Disqus says I’m not logged in so it won’t let me.
        We are pretty much screwed because the deplorables and other idiots who elected him are blind to the monster they have ordained. I expect the man to place a crown upon his own head any day now.

  • Skokieguy [Larry]
    • pj

      gag

    • Uncle Mark

      “Out of the Cabinet and into the streets !!” In this case, it seems to carry a whole new meaning.

  • bambinoitaliano

    The attendees must be buying by the dozens to dress their cows. Pigs are wearing lipticks. They are going Oprah for the barn animals.

  • JoeMyGod

    In case you want to troll this notorious Trump tool.
    https://twitter.com/ScottAdamsSays/status/818488379243315202

    • fuzzybits

      No choice for “he’ll ride on her coattails.”

    • Todd20036

      Some of the comments! Years ago, I bought a book of Dilbert comics.
      After hearing what this Nazi was all about, I will never buy anything Dilbert again.
      I’m only sorry he’s still syndicated in Newspapers.

      One commenter was actually trying to claim Trump didn’t mock a disabled reporter.

      • Steverino

        Is it the same commenter who trolls this site?

        • Todd20036

          I wouldn’t know. I make a point to block the trolliest commenters from this site. Not too many, but I manage to ignore the Trumptards, the Bernie Bros, and a few others like Perdue or Ish.

      • TrollopeReader
        • TampaDink

          Disgusting….but not surprising, coming from a site of “religious” people.

      • Oh’behr

        I don’t even bother to read his work any longer. I think he’s a total douche.

    • Christopher

      One can hope this makes Cheetolini irrelevant!

  • Natty Enquirer

    Trump meant central D.C. That Neiman Marcus is right on the District limit. Geez people, can’t you just take him at face value?

    • safari

      Because he can’t even blend his fake tan?

    • SammySeattle

      We’re trying to figure out what’s in his “heart”.

    • Mike in Texas

      No, we supposed to be listening to what is in his heart. But I’m having a problem with that since I can’t sense the presence of any heart in that thing.

    • Bad Tom

      He’s always at least two-faced, so it’s hard to choose.

  • Ross

    JOE!

    You really have GOT to stop selecting these awful images of Trump!

    It is not fair to our future President. Have some respect!

    (Please ignore the above request. And keep up the good work!)

    • Halou

      Is that a case of ‘don’t pick these ones, pick those ones’?

    • it’s what’s in his heart….

      • Steverino

        It’s always nice when Joe has a heart on.

    • bzrd

      my favorite, putin riding the pig

  • fuzzybits
    • John P.

      Jeez… I was just heading to lunch?

    • Steverino

      The camera should have panned down to show him grabbing Rudy’s pussy.

    • Marides48

      Did tRump grab Rudie’s p…?

      • TuuxKabin

        Pot hole?

    • i’m barely holding back my strongest Curse for you, in response to forcing me to watch that image.

      • fuzzybits

        😈👹👺😜

    • coram nobis

      … and that is the 45th President of the former United States.

    • Artsy

      I think I see a dusting of Cheeto powder on Rudy’s tatas.

  • Cousin Bleh

    DC went 93 percent for Hillary. No one here is going to the inauguration.

    • Lazycrockett

      What you don’t want to rub elbows with d list reality “Stars”?

    • Halou

      Trump is desperate to fill the place up, attendees are being imported from as far away as Britain.

      • Oh’behr

        I did a mind fart. I read Britain as Berlin. I was thinking 1930s.

        • clay

          Don’t worry, Trump’s not one to invent time travel.

    • CraigNJ

      He will just hire actors to fill the crowds, just like when he announced he was running. Of course, they won’t get paid for it.

    • that’s what i fucking miss about Teh District. goddam. someone send me a rainbow home.

      bitches there are Fierce. a “welcome” is so very, very hard and strong. yes, there are like, 8 jokes in that line. i’m better than Mel.

    • clay

      The inaugural parade includes no contingent from DC, nor half of the other states, probably for the first time in history.

  • Kim K’s Kute Koochy✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ
    • fuzzybits

      Grandma was always scary.

      • Snarkaholic

        …especially after the Moonshine kicks in!

        • Jerry

          …and after that incident with the reindeer.

          • Snarkaholic

            Don the Con and Pukin are now fucking
            Meloonia his wife’s in total shock
            Not because the creep is cheating on her
            But why anyone would want his little cock.

    • Snarkaholic

      Nah, he can’t be seen in the same outfit TWICE.

      • 2guysnamedjoe

        No problem! He’ll just tweet that the lying lamestream press made up the whole thing.

  • disqus_Qm7Y1t9k8U

    I guarantee you: The first major scandal will be as follows:

    1) He claims that ~5 million attended the inauguration.
    2) DC Police and National Parks Service say, “nah, it was more like 800k-1 million”.
    3) He purges the Parks Service in retaliation.

    • Ross

      The scandal wil last…five minutes.

      For, that is when Trump will tweet something idiotic, and…SQUIRREL!

    • Kruhn

      800K- 1 million is still high. I’m estimating 400K.

      • Oh’behr

        Might be CGI. More like 4K, in reality.
        The others were the counter demon-strators as Trump supporters will call them.

    • The ‘first major scandal’ already happened: He won the election, despite losing the popular vote by 3m, under circumstances those agencies tasked with protecting the nation have concluded was deliberate and strategic foreign interference in our democratic processes.

      Oh, and James Comey, GOP FBI director, deliberately put his thumb on the scales one week before the election by ginning up a new and completely phony ’email scandal’ story. For some reason, we’re all supposed to have forgotten he did this — yet still has his job.

  • SammySeattle

    And three nuns went blind sewing the beads on Milania’s dress.

  • bambinoitaliano
    • Oh’behr

      Hmm, I’m torn. Is that a benediction or an execution? Looks like a mass, yet with Trump. Ewww. Dark mass.

      • TampaDink

        Malignant mass.

  • No Worries

    Carol Burnett/Miss Starlett “Went With the Wind” look is trending. Last minute shoppers need only to stop by window dressings ‘n notions dept.

    • Beagle

      No way to update Dinah Shore/Melody’s death scene, with Dump standing in for Carol?

  • KCMC

    DC out of ball gags?

    • Todd20036

      Mid-Atlantic Leather is this weekend in DC. And there’s a market place.

      Just saying

      • i’m just an annoying bitch, so i have to ask: is there a “north Atlantic” leather? a “south-southwest Atlantic” leather?

        in Chicago, we call it “international.” that way it doesn’t matter who wins any of the contests. and other stuff. there’s also a market. in a place. what do you all do in yours? heh.

        • Todd20036

          I wouldn’t be surprised if there were, but MAL is one of the larger gatherings in the US.
          IML is by far the largest, but MAL is respectable, and local (for me)

  • Rex

    Better check with Linens and Things, there might not be many white sheets left in stock.

  • AdamTh

    Donnie-T does seem to have an “off-again/off-again” relationship wifh the truth..

    • KCMC

      “casual,” relationship with the truth.

      • TampaDink

        Fuck buddy of the truth.

        • thatotherjean

          That may have been true a long, long time ago, but they haven’t spoken in years.

          • TampaDink

            I really don’t blame Truth for shunning him….no matter how good the sex was.

        • KCMC

          fuck buddy was a good thing, once upon a time.

          • TampaDink

            In the proper context, yes. When it comes to Hair Furor’s relationship with truth, he’s just eager to fuck everyone else over & leave poor Truth to hang in the wind.

    • Ross

      NO.

      He is a fucking LIAR.

      Let’s all be clear on this.

      • coram nobis

        That’s possible — but there’s a more alarming theory and that is that our Leader is too delusional to know what the truth is.

  • boobert

    What? He can’t find a ball gown? lol

  • Mike in Texas

    Is it just me? Or are these people getting increasingly juvenile and ridiculous?

    • Dot Beech

      Maybe the reporting is getting more vigorous as the scope of this problem becomes ever clearer. Maybe. It would be welcomed.

      • 2guysnamedjoe

        Wish they’d apply some if that vigor towards investigating his financial entanglements (does anyone still remember his promise to release his tax returns?) and his connections with foreign and domestic neofascists.

        • TampaDink

          Many of us here do remember his many promises but we’ve known all along that he has zero history of keeping promises. Just ask Ivana & Marla.

  • children on the playground often taunt each other by saying things like “you’re fat!” and “your hair sticks up!”

    those don’t make the national news and i’m wondering why this does.

    • Ross

      Children on the playground are a rather different thing than the guy who will soon occupy the most important job in the world.

      • Bad Tom

        If children on the playground had actual nuclear bombs, it would make the news.
        ——-
        “Take that back, Billy, or you’ll be sorry!

        • Treant

          The swing set later became a scene of horror and destruction, remembered by all of humanity forever.

          • Bad Tom

            They call it: Swing Set Zero

  • Rex

    I’m sure there’s still time to order a gown from the Ivanka Trump line, the shipment from China is on the way.

  • dcurlee

    I guess he will buy them all up instead of paying workers he’s shafted

  • BobSF_94117

    I wonder what Rudy Giuliani will be wearing. Something off the shoulders, I would expect.

    • Lars Littlefield

      See my comment below: empire cut with lots of flounce.

  • edrex

    erratum: “DC is out of Innauguration CLOWNS.”

    The Washington Post regrets the error.

  • Marides48

    tRump lied? I’m shocked!
    Has this happened before?

  • Henry Auvil

    I count at least four chins in that pic.

    • Marides48

      True, one chin for each term he will serve as POTUS. For each of those terms he actually serves, that chin will grow noticeably larger. Sort of like tree rings.

      • I hope instead of “terms” you mean “years.” And even then, I hope you mean, “MONTHS” if not “WEEKS.”

      • TampaDink

        I’d much prefer is we replace “term” with “week”. Even then, 4 weeks of his reign of terror might still mean the end of life on this planet.

    • Rex

      Those cheap Trump ties really accentuate the chin rolls.

      • Robincho

        Hey, they’re from Jina. How could they NOT know how Chins roll…

    • geoffalnutt

      I think one is just a strap-on.

    • Oh’behr
      • Mike French

        Pelican chin.

        • TuuxKabin

          Pelican Chin In Chief.

  • Robincho

    I’m hoping the Drümpfenreich will make the administration of William Henry Harrison seem interminable…

  • David in Palm Springs

    Pathological Lie #23176
    At this point, the media (and the entire world) should always assume that literally every word that comes out of that cancerous Cheeto’s mouth is a lie.

    • TrollopeReader

      you’re only at #23,176? I was up to # 37,854 !!

      • OdieDenCO

        double downs don’t count

    • LaChatSayWha

      Now, now, according to the Editor in Chief of the Wall Street Journal, it would be unfair and unprofessional to call dUmp’s lies lies. According to him, doing so might make the readers think poorly of Mango Mussolini. And we can’t have that, eh?

      There’s a lamppost reserved for that guy right next to the one for Jeff Sessions.

  • Scott MB

    Pathological liar, I don’t think he can control it. It us usually a symptom that is with a narssaststic personality. Like cleptomainia he can’t help himself he is neuologically prewired to lie. Doesn’t make for a good President.

  • DJ John Bear

    This inauguration sounds like an orgy where no one comes…

  • Acronym Jim

    It is one of my fondest hopes that the photo at the head of this article be adapted as the official portrait as a warning to future voters.

    • Steverino

      The president’s portrait is always prominently displayed on the wall behind the check-in counter at Veterans Administration clinics. I would love to see some wiseacre at Hubby’s local VA clinc post that pic instead of the formal portrait.

      • Oh’behr

        I love to see a vet take his cane and aim it at Trump’s pic and the glass cracked just by the vibes from the cane. It was dousing out the bad vibes from that vet’s heart. If enough vets were actually able to do this, it might save on healthcare costs. I wish.

  • TrollopeReader

    There is no shame. None at all.

    • Steverino

      Typical of narcissists and sociopaths.

  • Jeebus fuckin’ Christ… The man (and I use that term loosely) has no dignity or shame whatsoever.

    Most children over the age of five would be embarrassed to behave in public like he does every single day.

    And we’re supposed to believe Clinton was the one with the perception of dishonesty problem? For fuck’s sake, the Cheeto Goblin lies constantly about shit that doesn’t even matter, all in the service of his ego and narcissism.

    And in a couple weeks, a profoundly mentally ill man will be sworn in as this country’s President. We’re all fucking doomed.

    • AJ Drew

      Yes, but Becca, how do you *really* feel? Ha!

      Yup, I’m with you. It is astounding to me that DT’s nonsense is so easily dismissed; it’s not even frightening anymore, it’s a wake-up call. But wake up to do what? That’s the issue, for me at least. I’m not feeling hopeless, but… what to do, other than continue to try to wake up everyone else? I don’t know.

    • Uncle Mark

      What I can’t get my head around is how he readily lies about things that can easily be fact-checked, whether it’s small…like this gown sales lie, or whoppers…like his meeting with the Mexican President and the discussion of the border-wall payment. It’s truly fucking scary when one readily believes foreign leaders before one’s own President

      • Marla R. Stevens

        It’s part of his disease. Really. He can’t help it. He’s that sick.

        • JCF

          Bingo.

    • kaydenpat

      “We’re all fucking doomed.”

      Yep. Our only hope is that he screws up so badly that the Senate flips in 2018 thus ending full Republican of Congress. But yes, we’re doomed for the foreseeable future. Huge sigh.

  • Rex

    Lola Kirke wore a “Fuck Paul Ryan” pin on her gown for the Golden Globes, a must have fashion accessory, I’d say.

  • 2guysnamedjoe

    Thousands of gowns are indeed available in WDC. Barf bags, on the other hand, have become nearly unobtainable.

    • BudClark

      ROFLMQAO!!!

  • GayOldLady

    Silly old man!

    • BudClark

      Dangerous, mentally ill, CRUEL old man.

  • Acronym Jim

    I wouldn’t be surprised if this is a preemptive lie to excuse historic low attendance at the inaugural balls.

    • Don’t be silly, Jim: The raging howler-demon is already going to be yawping that his inauguration parties were the biggest, most heavily attended parties in all of human history. This is just him preloading that lie for later deployment.

    • Friday

      Or just distraction from the more important lies and fuckups and the rest.

  • DaddyRay

    Probably one of the excuses he got from someone when he asked why they can’t make the inauguration

    • DaddyRay

      Also not happening:

      Surgery
      Family Wedding
      Furniture Delivery
      Cat box cleaning
      Sock Drawer reorganizing
      ….

      • AJ Drew

        “My health care got canceled.”

        • BudClark

          I had a scare today. I was told that my Medi-Cal had been cancelled and Luke couldn’t fill any of my prescriptions. Turned out to be a computer error, but I had a foretaste of what’s it’s going to be like when it REALLY happens after Jan. 20. I will die. Pure and simple. My heart, lung, and other meds keep me alive. I dunno … maybe it IS time to stop taking them, and just die quietly in my sleep to escape *dt’s “pissadency.”

          • AJ Drew

            That *is* scary. Truly glad that turned out ok for you.

            “Pissandency” made me laugh… don’t surrender to eternal sleep just yet, you clearly have some, ahem, piss and vinegar left in you to share!

      • Oh’behr

        Pencil sharpening day. Don’t forget, also crayon sharpening day too.

      • Jerry

        Getting passport in order…

        • BudClark

          That too …

      • BudClark

        I’d love to, but I’ve gotta wash my hair (see avatar) … paraphrased from the immortal Bette Davis.

    • AJ Drew

      Ha! One of the best people, no doubt.

  • Friday

    Gotta wonder if that’s just the excuse-du-jour from people he’s trying to get to come to his circus. 🙂

  • Tiger Quinn
    • AJ Drew

      sigh. But, that image should be on a shot-glass, not a coffee cup.

      • madknits

        A shot glass is too damn small.

        • TuuxKabin

          My thought exactly!

      • Silver Badger

        I thought it was. Oh dear…

        • AJ Drew

          SB, everyone here loves you, and each has written a letter they’d like to read to you… (from upcoming A&E episode of “Intervention: DT Years.”)

          • Silver Badger

            Funny thing is, I’m allergic and can’t drink at all. I can roll a damn fine doobie though.

          • AJ Drew

            To each one’s vice, and one’s talent! (a good thing, methinks!)

          • Silver Badger

            Is it still a vice if it’s medicinal? If so, I’m happy to be vice-versatile.

    • I think that is how a lot of Americans feel right now…

    • Silver Badger

      I want one! Do you know where I can order it?

      • Natty Enquirer
        • Silver Badger

          Thank you. I WILL have one!

      • BudClark

        I couldn’t watch President Obama’s farewell speech. I’ve been semi-hysterical all day WITHOUT watching it. Tranquilizers and anti-depressants don’t seem to help. Fortunately I haven’t taken a drink in 50 years; I won’t give that bastard *dt the satisfaction by starting now.

  • Tiger Quinn

    As many have already pointed out, don’t let the high of Streep nailing Drumpf distract you from his cabinet nominations, many of whom have not been vetted in any way yet.

    • Friday

      And haven’t even filled out their disclosure forms.

      • And the non-partisan ethics board has reported that many of his nominations aren’t even responding to their requests for contact.

        • Friday

          What, that one the Republicans just tried to abolish? 🙂

    • I am so angry that Congress is going to rubber stamp his cabinet choices without even filling out the ethics paperwork. Which just goes to show how terribly biased and hateful the GOP was towards President Obama on every single thing he attempted to do.

    • BudClark

      Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III wants to bring back slavery, lynching, and torture and execution of GLBTQAI people … and, oh yes, back-alley coat-hanger abortions.

      A little on his namesake:

      P. G. T. Beauregard – Civil War Trust
      http://www.civilwar.org/education/history/biographies/p-g-t-beauregard.htmlPierre Gustave Toutant Beauregard was a Louisiana-born author, civil servant, politician, inventor, and first prominent general for the Confederacy.

  • ChiTownGuy

    Wtf! I mean really really wtf?

  • Blake J Butler
    • AJ Drew

      BAM!

      And, “LivingBlueInRed” oh, cripes, I get that. Thanks, Blake, I’ll check out that feed.

      • clay

        My mom’s book circle had matching “blue in a red state” sweatshirts.

    • A failure?

    • kaydenpat

      He’s an overrated human being. I don’t know what the hell he is.

      • thatotherjean

        A man with daddy issues, desperate insecurity, a huge ego, and very few actual accomplishments to back it up.

        • Reality.Bites

          Normally I like guys with daddy issues.

          • thatotherjean

            With all the pussy-grabbing Trumps brags about, I think his issues are different from yours.

    • David Walker

      A self-absorbed overrated loser.

  • Oh’behr

    Why Donnie, did Rudy Giuliani buy a 1,000 ball gowns for your coronation?

  • TampaDink

    Making shit up in order to attempt to deflect from the general public being reminded of one of the most abhorrent things he said/did along the campaign trail, is his way of hoping we’ll all forget about everything that is wrong with him. There is so much wrong with him that most of us sane people couldn’t forget, even if we tried.

  • coram nobis

    Meryl Streep always could deliver a powerful denunciation.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aasECsxrSzQ

  • lymis

    I wonder if this is prep spin to explain why the inaugural balls were under-attended.
    “They all would have come, but nobody could find a dress.”

    • BudClark

      Are you kidding me? The Republicans have been planning their glad rags ever since Nov. 8th … a day that shall FOREVER live in infamy.

  • EdA

    First, is even Melanoma planning to show up??

    Second, why would even a wretchedly pathetic pathological liar lie about absolutely stupid and pointless stuff?

    • Talisman

      Because he thinks it makes him look good.

      • Helen Damnation 🍑™

        And because his Trumpeteers will always, ALWAYS believe him. Anybody else is just the lying, dishonest media.

    • It’s to disguise the fact that none of the American designers will do a dress for Melanoma.

  • leekaygraphics
    • Pat

      Matching MAGA hats with beer cans and tubing?

      • Earl

        Ok, I’ll wear it. But only if the beer cans are never ending, or not ending until I’ve passed out from drinking too much.

        • Pat

          Watch out for the ‘take a slug every time he lies’ drinking game. That could be bigly dangerous.

      • leekaygraphics

        Those items will be complimentary for all Ballers at the Lack-of-Courtesy booth

  • Pat

    Cut him some slack, he’s a 70 y/o with probable early stage dementia and gets confused easily. He really meant to say the sheet department of every store in Washington is sold out as his followers prep their formal wear.

  • Talisman

    But what is his *heart* saying?

    • Johnny Wyeknot

      Thump thump thump with an occasional trump

      • BudClark

        If Cthulhu is JUST, it will give one final “THUD” about halfway through the Oath of Office.

  • JT

    Douchebag-in-Chief Drumpf cannot tell the truth.

  • Robert Adams

    Maybe it’s a personal thing. Maybe it isn’t his nose that grows when he lies, but some other frontal protrusion

    • Gianni

      If that was the case for myself, I’d make lying my career, too.

    • Pat

      I’ve seen the golf photos. I think it’s a backal protrusion that grows when he lies. That’s why the extra long jackets.

      • But what accounts for his extra long ties? To hide his gut, to disguise the fact he has a tiny dick, or walks around all the time with a hard on due to viagra.

        • Pat

          I’m going with a and b, because if b is true, c isn’t an issue, just ask Melanoma.

          • BudClark

            The First Prostie has my deepest sympathy. I cannot IMAGINE that fat, sweaty pig rooting around on top of ANYBODY.

            “Dear, is it IN yet??”

          • Pat

            EWWWWWWWW!!!!

  • Gianni

    The man has mental issues and, at 70 years old, they stand no chance of going away. He displays so many characteristics that sane voters clearly saw were just the stuff one wouldn’t and shouldn’t want in a President of The United States. Unfortunately, our silly-assed electoral system allowed a minority of voters to make him our President. Now, he is a 70 year old man with mental issues and one who has the power to be really dangerous to the whole world.

    • Which is why the leaders of NATO had meetings Trump wasn’t invited to.

      • Gianni

        So perfectly understandable. He’s so pro-Russian. Never mind that Pooty would crush NATO in a minute if he could get away with it. Obviously, our NATO partners are having serious doubts about this man’s fidelity to our commitments.

        • Been thinking lately that is one of the first things Cheetolini will get rid of, no more NATO for us.

          • Gianni

            Well, he gladly talked about how useless he feels it is.

          • Of course he feels it is useless, it keeps the USSR within their own borders.

  • TheManicMechanic

    This continuous stream of lies will get us into at least one major war.

    • thatotherjean

      That’s what scares me. There are leaders out there every bit as unstable as he is, with a whole lot more experience in nasty.

  • Mark

    What??? A run on burlap?

    • djcoastermark

      Amens ! Have you tried finding a real burlap bag lately?

  • Jack

    I really want to hear nothing more about him. But I’d like to get in one last call to my sister before someone nukes New York City.

  • Clive Johnson
  • Tor

    If he thinks something, it is true.

    • Pat

      In that case, I wish he’d think himself into the cornfield.

      • Tor

        I could get behind that.

    • He did state that his wealth fluctuates depending on the day and how his mood was.

  • trouble94114

    Perhaps he just means that all the good shops are out of the ones in his size (or the size of his ego) that work with his fake tan.

  • Johnny Wyeknot

    I suspect the only people going to a Trump inaugural ball will be billionaires who have plenty of gowns in their closets (along with plenty of skeletons). Hahaha!

  • Perhaps he was talking about Walmart where all the best dressed deplorables acquire their haute couture 👹

  • Lakeview Bob

    Gosh! Do you think the future Pussy Grabber in Chief is a pathological liar? Is that possible?

  • Mike_in_the_Tundra

    My biggest fear is that he’s not lying, and he believes the things he says are true. That would make him much more mentally ill than I suspected. It goes far past being a megalomaniac.

  • The more I listen to Cheetolini’s tweets, the more he sounds like my mentally ill mother. She would lie about things that were easily disproved, and would deny the truth and then claim that she NEVER said that!

    • Gianni

      That’s him to a Tee!

      • BudClark

        Or, in this case, a PEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

  • sword

    Maybe a lot of East Coast drag queens are planning on trying to crash the parties.

  • Ken Berry

    Maybe they’re out of HIS size…

  • distributorcap
    • Gianni

      😀 That was one funny episode. They were feeling so chic in their Paris Originals until Fred and Ricky let them know about the potatosack dresses and the flower pot and feedbag hats.

  • kaydenpat

    Liar-in-Chief. How quaint.

  • thatotherjean

    Trump would like for it to be true, because it would be flattering to him for so many women to want to attend the balls that follow his inauguration—therefore, it is true.

  • David Wickham

    Is he capable of telling the truth

  • TomKitten1960

    He meant that they’re sold out of gowns in his size.

  • Gene Perry

    Ya’ know … it’s not the lying that bothers me so much, it’s the pointless lies.

  • BudClark

    I’m sure Bed, Bath and Beyond has plenty of white sheets in all sizes.