VIRAL VIDEO: Alexa, Play Pussy Anal Dildo

Via Mashable:

We’re not exactly sure what this child is asking for when he says, “Alexa, play ‘Digger digger,'” but we’re almost positive it’s not porn. Regardless, Amazon’s personal assistant reached back through her algorithmic server banks, scanned the child’s budding language and, through the miracle of technology, determines that this child really wants to hear some porn. It only takes a beat or two before the filming parents realize what is happening. Unfortunately, their cries of protest can do nothing to stop the march of innovation and Alexa will be heard.

To me it sounds like the kid is asking for “Tickle, tickle” – but who knows.

  • T-Batwoman

    Ahhh, technology πŸ™‚

  • Todd20036

    Sigh. They start out so young these days….

    • JWC

      definition of a virgin “ugliest girl in grade 3” OH that was sick 30 years ago when I first heard it and still is

  • bkmn

    Do you really want a device that is always listening to record what goes on in your home?

  • Bryan

    “Voice-activated internet-connected home devices say the darnedest things.”

    • Chucktech

      “Out of the mouths of tech oft times come gems.”

    • Gustav2

      I sent it to the ‘tech’ nephew who has the first of everything, He is very protective of his kids access,

    • Cousin Bleh

      “They have complicated lives very greatly. Nobody knows what’s going on.”

  • Mike C

    Mine doesn’t do that. Where do I get the update?

  • Ford4WD

    He might be asking for “Twinkle, Twinkle”.

    • Gustav2

      Careful!

    • ByronK

      Little Chocolate Starfish…

      • Cherry

        Brach’s Candy used to make little chocolates in the shape of starfish.

    • Capritaur

      Golly where did he learn such filth?

  • Gustav2

    See, State Del. β€œSideshow” Bob Marshall is right!

  • Pollos Hermanos

    Perhaps Alexa just has Tourette’s.

    https://youtu.be/pAgFgIzkJgk

  • Sam_Handwich
    • MattPS

      One of the greatest dialogues in all of cinematic history; it never ceases to crack me up!

  • Sam_Handwich

    how much does that thing cost, and why would anyone want one?

    • David L. Caster

      It’s an instant order entry window to Amazon. That’s why Amazon wants people to have it.

      • Sam_Handwich

        ohhhhhh i see. ty

  • Chucktech

    Aw, so cute with his little skull and cross-bones jacket…

    • Cousin Bleh

      I need to know if those PJs come in adult size.

  • MB

    What does Alexa offer for
    “Play… Hide the pickle ?”

  • Joe in PA

    And speaking of voice-activated devices, I gave El Hubs an iPad mini so he could have an internet device in the kitchen. Unfortunately, I showed him how “Hey Siri” works…I’ve created a monster. He’s talking to Siri a lot more than me. It was hilarious at first, now it’s just annoying. Who are you talking to? Oh wait….

    • Ore Carmi

      πŸ™

  • Natty Enquirer

    Duggar, Duggar?

    • Bluto

      I don’t wanna see that porno.

  • vorpal

    Damned kids have it so damned easy these days.
    Back when I was a kitten, we actually had to type in honest-to-goodness URLs to get to porn. Uphill. In 10 feet of snow.

    • Capritaur

      From a printed website book!

    • Cousin Bleh

      I had to rip the Jim Palmer Jockey ads out of my father’s Playboys.

      • Joe in PA

        For me it was the Playboy’s “Sex in the Cinema” edition. Occasionally there was some male nudity. Very occasionally. ;(

        • Cousin Bleh

          Hah, I did that one too. Only time Playboy showed dong.

        • pj

          yes playboy. where we were referred to as inserts

      • Lantor

        Sears catalog FTW

        • Skip Intro

          Any geezers remember After Dark magazine?

          • Rolf

            Wow, that was a long time ago. But I thought it was a ‘theatre magazine’ that profiled all the young dancers and actors that ran around half naked on Broadway? Hahaha

          • Helenwshank

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !mj154d:
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !mj154d:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash154MarketCentralGetPay$97Hour β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…::::::!mj154d:….,…….

          • SFHarry

            Helen, don’t make me shank you.

          • Nowhereman

            Was that Art Bell’s old magazine? I could swear that it was also called “After Dark”.

          • Rick Zajac

            And the Ah Men catalogue.

          • Blackfork

            Yep. 1973 is when I first recall seeing it.

          • Prixator

            Oh yeah. That was where I first encountered Prince – in only a small bikini bottom, no less.

        • lymis

          I’m old enough to remember John Davidson modeling underwear. With no discernible bulge whatsoever, but a pretty nice package. Years later I saw an interview where he explained that the photographer stuffed a bunch of tissue paper in his jockeys to smooth everything out.

          • Nowhereman

            That must have been weird to sit through…

          • Guest

            There was a Sears catalog in the late 70’s or early 80’s that had a guy in righty whities and his unit was showing, and part of a stone. I bet you could Google that. They could not pull the catalog back since it was discovered after they were in the homes.

        • glass

          We had to use the ashes from the fireplace to draw pictures on parchment paper… in the middle of a snow blizzard. O_o

      • vorpal

        LOL I had a book of “The Best of Velvet’s Letters” that had a whole section on masturbation, which was the only section without mention of lady parts. I think I had every word of that section committed vividly to memory by the time I was 12.

        • DonnaLee

          I had a action thriller book I got when I walked into what I thought was a regular bookstore with porn magazines. Turns out all the books were what is now just called erotic on Amazon.com. Was my first encounter with sex using actual swear words and actions, not the type in romance novels.

          I only got away with it due to being 16, yet looking at least 21.

      • CoryDFW

        Good god, me too.. I had a whole stash of Jockey ads from magazines.. it’s amazing what the teenage mind can conjure up as titilating to get the juices flowing when there’s no other sources of “porn” other than a fucking underwear sale ad.. even though looking back I bet they were all so sculpted and airbrushed out, no trace of meat or veg was even visible lol

      • Jerry

        By the time I was in college, it was the International Male catalogs.

    • another_steve

      When I was a queerling I had to go to Times Square NYC to buy my porn magazines. That was way before Disney and Co. infested that venerable NYC neighborhood. And way before VCRs. Porn films were available only on 8mm.

      There would be a big burly guy sitting on an elevated platform in the rear of the place, watching customers from above. Perhaps to look out for shoplifters. Perhaps to make sure no one was jerking off as he thumbed through the mags.

      There were backrooms in some of those places too — with “video booths” — but I never did them.

      I was a wuss queerling.

      • Mrs. Councillor Nugent
        • another_steve

          Thank you. That was it.

          It was raw and it was dirty and it was dangerous.

          But it was beautiful.

          • clay

            Have you read Samuel R. Delaney’s Times Square Red, Times Square Blue?

          • another_steve

            No.

            Can you tell me a little something about it?

          • clay

            Not SciFi, but a collection of essays across his life about NYC.

          • TuuxKabin

            Read it in one sitting.

          • Mrs. Councillor Nugent
          • another_steve

            Beautiful. Thanks again.

            I came out in NYC in 1972, and I was raring to go. Those were the just-Post-Stonewall years.

            We were young and we were newly liberated and life was good and life was beautiful.

          • Mrs. Councillor Nugent
          • Lumpy Gaga

            We are all of us in the gutter. Some of us are looking at the showtimes.

          • paganguy

            I see what you did there. πŸ˜‰

          • paganguy

            My first ever visit to NYC was with my then partner in the mid-70s as a young and still fairly impressionable 20 year old. We spent one night at the Plaza, had tea at the Palm Court, then moved to the Hotel Chelsea for the rest of our stay. While there, I saw my first Broadway show (Stephanie Mills in the Wiz), was taken to the The Anvil (which was quite the eye-opener), and had my first visit to an adult bookstore. I still have the adult paperback I bought there – which I read aloud as we drove to Fire Island for the last part of the vacation. Yes, raw, definitely dirty, probably far more dangerous than I realized at the time, but very, very beautiful.

          • another_steve

            Great story, paganguy. Thanks.

            Our generation of gay men — in their 60s now — have many stories to tell. It was different then, in the 1970s. HIV/AIDS was a nightmare we had not yet experienced. We were young and we were rediscovering our selves.

            Rediscovering our lives. Our loves. Our affections. Our lusts.

            Our beautiful bodies.

          • Rick Zajac

            Some days I’m amazed I’m still alive and survived the 70’s.

          • another_steve

            For many sexually active men of our generation, it was simply the luck of the draw. Simple, unadorned luck.

            I believe some of us have a natural immunity to HIV. I don’t know if science has conclusively established that, but I sense it to be true.

            Again, purely the luck of the draw.

    • ColdCountry

      Uphill both ways.

      • vorpal

        Physics are a real bitch.
        (LOL as an aside, back when I was very young, based on the pictures / old TV shows I saw that were all black-and-white, I thought that humans invented colour as opposed to inventing technologies that could record colour!)

        • ColdCountry

          What an interesting perspective! I knew you had an agile and athletic mind, but that’s something really different. πŸ™‚

          • vorpal

            My brain is a very bizarre place. I do not suggest visiting it!

            I also used to think that my church’s minister was god, and like Santa, he went around preaching to all the churches on Sunday.

    • Guest

      Up hill both ways.

      When I was a kid, some winters up north it never went above zero for all of February. That is the temperature. Wind chill would go between minus 5 and MJ us 40 in February Also there were Februarys where you never saw the sun. As a kids, the snow plows would push banks along the road so high, you could almost jump high enough to touch the power lines. Parents would complain to the county. And yes, some drifting added to the pile running along the road.

      And not one of those is an exaggeration. It started to not be like that about 1982 and by 2986, it was better. By 2000, many were saying we are not having winters like we used to.

      Stuffing a live kitten in your snowmobile suite was also a good way to add some warmth. Lol. OK, that last one I made up. But I had to find at least one good use for a cat there my dear cat lady. Lol. Sorry, had to. πŸ˜‰

      • vorpal

        tl;dr

        • Guest

          Read or not read. That is your call. Feeling better or not, your tone tonight is unbecoming.

          • vorpal

            Oh, I didn’t realize it was YOU. I haven’t heard from you in ages and ages, and in my flu-recovery haze had forgotten about our little good-natured fun.

            Not many people can get away with calling me a cat-lady, but in your case, I’ll make an exception :-).

            So sorry for the nasty responses and hoping you are having a good weekend.

      • Home in Boston,NY winter of ’73-’74 showing the front porch. Edit: to be fair, most of that pile is off the roof. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6361adf0888345de2255da5e5c15d81db18c8cf8006494cbeed507468738d11a.jpg

    • Guest

      By the way, “uphill both ways” is how the saying went here…”walked to school, 20 miles each way, uphill both ways…”. Sometimes a comment was added about carrying 50 pounds of school books.

    • Guest

      Digger digger are kids videos about trucks. They have been around for over 20 years. Kid is just a normal boy who likes trucks. Just Google digger digger.

      And if the kid is ever busted watching porn by a wife, girlfriend, husband or boyfriend, he has proof he started young.

      I bet he will show that to high school and college buddies in the years to come.

      • vorpal

        Humour is apparently not your strong suit.
        I’m sure you’re good at other things.

        • Guest

          Cat lady then you need to reread this. My whole post is about humor. How could anyone not catch my jokes about HS showing his buddies? I think a furball got stoluck in your nose and is affecting you.

          • vorpal

            Almost definitely. The product of a week of horrible flu – finally pretty much recovered now.

  • Max_1

    It’s play Dugger Dugger…
    Hey kid, if back away from that pronto!

  • Lazycrockett

    Don’t worry Bob Marshall is already on it.

  • Capritaur
    • Chucktech

      Alexa just doesn’t filter, does she?

    • KentDean

      I just played this video a few feet away from our Alexa at home, and she responded ver batim as the one in the video … Spooky …

    • BobSF_94117

      Actually, if you add a single comma, it makes perfect sense.

    • Scott Wyant

      Some enterprising young songwriter needs to get on that and rack up some songplays.

  • MBear

    Technology promises so much, but when the corporates get their hands on things, fails

  • Joe in PA

    I wonder if Joe Jervis ever imagined he’d use these words in a URL:

    http://www.joemygod.com/2016/12/30/viral-video-alexa-find-me-anal-dildo/

    πŸ™‚

    • clay

      You have to watch that Joe fella; sometimes he sticks an extra joke in the URL that’s not in the title, too.

  • AtticusP

    Pussy anal dildo?

    It must’ve misunderstood the kid. Alexa thought he was saying “Duggar. Duggar.”

    • DonnaLee

      That’s what I was going to say!

  • EqualityForAll

    “Play Digger Digger…”

    Being fully fluent in three-year-old, I think he’s referring to a series of truck toys/videos:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5o-3czoQps

    • BobSF_94117

      “time to drill a hole for a bridge support”

      Oh, yeah, baby…

  • Max_1

    What the kid said: “Lexa play digger digger.”
    What the box heard: “lets sex dig her dig her.”

    And… wa-la… we get porn!

  • boobert

    O/T: Will someone PLEASE block fox news from my computer ! I realize you need to see what the enemy is doing, but putting a trump picture with gene simmons saying how he’s a good family man just made me throw up!

  • m_lp_ql_m

    “…almost positive it’s not porn.” Like, just how positive? I was into some pretty rude stuff at that age.

  • Picabo
    • Chucktech

      “What are you doing……Dave?”

      At least it wasn’t “Keep your hands on top of the desk…..Dave.”

  • AtticusP

    “Pussy Anal Dildo”?

    That’s the name of one of Donald Trump’s cabinet picks, isn’t it?

    • NotAnApologist

      No. That’s his current wife.

      • William

        I thought it was his three older children.

        • Bad Tom

          There is no reason it cannot be all five.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    To quote George Takei, OH MYYYY

  • Charlie 2001

    The government loves these new kinds of devices. Not only can they see everywhere you go and listen to what you are saying — you pay for it.

    I bought a smart TV a few years ago but returned it to the store when I read through the terms and conditions you had to agree to before you could even turn it on.

  • TimJ

    It is clear that the robots have taken over. Alexa knows what we want, even when we don’t.

  • Brian in Valdosta

    The boy is saying “Jingle Jingle”. He wants to hear “Jingle Bells”.

    • William

      Don’t ask where those bells have been.

  • BobSF_94117

    Is that Santa you can hear at the end of the video?

  • Jeff D

    How come Alexa assumes the voice is a male wanting to see “hot chicks”? The obvious response should be “are you male or female” followed by “are you gay, straight or bi” only then could Alexa launch into an appropriate list of porn. Well, maybe “how old are you?” Could be thrown in for good measure.

    As it is, Alexa sounds like she is sexist.

    • William

      Ask Alexa about hot daddy porn.

  • Bluto

    This needs to be Majel Barrett, in her computer voice or optionally as Lwaxana Troi. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/450e76be73e395b4181afc598704624969becbea92db5affc278e0c5bd2a480f.jpg ain’t gonna happen, damnit.

    • William

      I read the Star Trek producers have full phonetic recordings of Barrett and could use her voice in future projects.

      I wouldn’t mind a return of Jane Barbe.

      • houstonray

        There have actually been rumors that her family has discussed having her phonetic recordings merged into one of the devices…no one knows for sure if it would be Alexa, Siri, Google Home, etc.

        Please please please….

      • Guest

        Jelly bean in development was called “Madg” for her name, and they had working rights with Star trek. The plan was to use her voice to take on Apple’s Siri. Something fell apart as jelly bean was rolled out.

  • Itsatarp

    HAHAHA When it started listing the titles it reminded me of this:

    https://youtu.be/b8H7wUKryrw

  • JDS

    😈😈😈😈🀑🀑🀑🀑
    How funny.

  • OdieDenCO

    HA!

  • Jack

    Response based on previous requests from that device?

  • Lakeview Bob

    These parents stupidly over reacted. They frightened the child. He had no idea what Alexa was talking about.

    • ColdCountry

      But he’d get around to asking, probably the “wrong” person.

  • TheManicMechanic

    I asked mine for “digger digger” and I got the song “Gold Digger, Explicit Version.” LOL

  • Dot Beech

    The kid is a big Carmen Miranda queen. He’s saying, “Play ‘Tico Tico.'”

  • Raul Izquierdo

    i call b.s on that he probably had that on his history and replayed it.

  • Bad Tom

    FRANTIC PARENT: Alexia STOP!!!
    Good to know Alexa has an abort command:

  • Marty Pavelka

    OMG. I played this video for my partner, and said the title “Alexa play pussy anal dildo” without thinking. Our echo chirped in “playing ‘Pussy’ by Rammstein”. We lost it. Absolutely lost it. Ha!

  • “Play twinkle twinkle!”

    Twinkle, twinkle little star . . .

  • Porkie

    Voice recognition error Alexa hears “Dugger, Dugger…”

  • Will Parkinson

    Nope. Definitely Digger Digger. Sassy Alexa.

  • JCF

    To the internet Hammer, everyone’s looking to get Nailed…