TRAILER: 2016, The Movie

Entertainment Weekly reviews:

2016 started out innocently enough — but after a number of tragic celebrity deaths and one of the most divisive elections in history, at least one collective is categorizing the year as a horror movie. YouTube user Friend Dog Studios has created a condensed representation of tthe year through a trailer for 2016: The Movie. The clip, which takes the calendar year and turns it into a scary thriller, begins on Dec. 31, 2015, with a happy couple ringing in 2016 with kisses and wishes for a prosperous new year, new home, and ever-growing relationship. But things go wrong fast: “You want know who died today?” asks a creepy voiceover, teasing the terrible events to come.

  • Sam_Handwich
    • Lumpy Gaga

      Aside from Schlafly and Scalia, did we actually lose any depolrables in 2016?

      • Bryan

        Jack Chick died a wonderful lonely death.

        • Bryan

          I saw something stuck to my windshield about it…

          • Bryan

            Was it white and green and reek of a bird’s ‘nethers?

      • bmoore4026

        Phyllis Schlafly died and I didn’t know!? And I live in the St. Louis area. Guess that’s what I get for not watching news.

      • Bomer

        The was that right wing asshole that got shot dead with his own gun.

        • Oh’behr

          He seems like a minor figure. I’d never heard of him previously.

  • Michael R

    Some DC Restaurants Are Donating Their Inauguration Profits To Anti-Trump Organizations

    https://www.buzzfeed.com/emaoconnor/all-in-service-inauguration

    • Sam_Handwich

      i presume that includes the pizzeria from which Hillary was running a child prostitution operation

      • That_Looks_Delicious

        They still have to search it to find the pillow she smothered Scalia with.

  • Oscarlating Wildely
  • geoffalnutt

    I really don’t want to remember any of it. As a matter of fact I’d like to be hit in the head with a mallet…by someone who got a running start.

  • Bryan

    If only what were coming were as easy to kill as a horror movie monster.

  • Brian in Valdosta

    Damn, that was actually chilling. Especially the Drumpf mask!

    • Bryan

      if it didn’t hit so close to home I’d watch the hell out of this.

  • margaretpoa

    Entertainment Weekly? I prefer to use grass to destroy brain cells.

  • Acronym Jim

    The mannequin challenge was an inspired touch.

  • MPJZ

    2016 was not a horror movie. I enjoy horror movies.

  • Lazycrockett
    • DaddyRay

      Drumpf will probably turn over the Nuclear codes

      • Lazycrockett

        You take out that grid and the north east coast would lose power for a couple of months this includes NYC.

        • DaddyRay

          During a Nor’easter no doubt

        • The Return of Traxley

          A couple of weeks is long enough to run out of food and water. In winter folks will freeze to death. In summer perishable food supplies will spoil immediately. The elderly and the injured are at greatest risk. Rumors will spread. There will be armed chaos.

          Two weeks is enough to bring a lot of communities to hell.

          • Jeffg166

            A few hours without the internet will drive most people over the edge.

          • The Return of Traxley

            Not far from the truth.

            There are very few remaining, reliable channels of communication and information left. Print media is no longer timely. Radio and television are accessible, but very limited in scope and variety.

            The inability to react and share is critical. Otherwise, it’s London, 1940 all over again.

      • Kate
      • DonnaLee

        That would mean he’d have to actually go to that meeting. I think he’ll just let Pence have them, that would be too much for him to do.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      As usual, Trumpeteers go “fake news!” and really think Russia is our friend.

      • Kate

        Hardly. China’s in the infrastructure and control networks, too.

        If it comes to war, the lights go out pretty much everywhere on earth before a bomb gets launched. Take out a few pipelines, crash an electric grid, and you have people starving in days (without the whole “everyone dies in a fiery inferno” thing).

        It’s Mutually Assured Destruction, version 2.

        • Skeptical_Inquirer

          You need to read all the Trumpeteer tweets praising Trump for aligning with Russia.

          Also, one can dislike both Russia and China.

          • Kate

            Ahh. I haven’t seen them. In the crowds I run in online, it generally goes as far as thinking that the US shouldn’t go to war with Russia, nor meddle in Putin trying to reunite the USSR. It’s not so much that it’s a good thing, rather, it’s not worth the US unilaterally paying the cost to stop him.

            Trump has an ego, and he likes having it stroked. Putin’s doing just that, which will likely get him what he wants. What he wants isn’t really the US’s concern – now if we can just get Trump away from his hardon for Israel, we can go back to a largely non-interventionalist, nationalist government.

          • The_Wretched

            What putin wants is entirely the US’s concern.

          • The Return of Traxley

            Don’t engage.

            I’m certain it’s a Russian troll.

            It’s been popping up to defend putin and shitgibbon regularly.

    • Blake Mason

      Can we have a discussion on the what seems to be the ease at which Russia is accessing these computer servers?

      • Lazycrockett

        Well I keep hoping that all these computer servers and hacking reports would lead to the understanding by the media and the public how vulnerable our government departments really are. I mean shit we still keep nuclear codes on 16 inch floppy disc.

      • That_Looks_Delicious

        McConnell and Ryan say NO. You will now be escorted off the premises for even suggesting it.

      • Kate

        Do you honestly want a discussion?

        Everything that can be hacked, is. Everything can be hacked.

        The “internet of things” is nothing new, and there are a lot of smart devices that are rarely updated. Networked printers, networked phones. Infect a phone, and it can be used to attack wi-fi networks nearby.

        The NSA does this stuff all day, every day. They try to sneak backdoors into encryption (by, for example, subverting random number generators), while Russia does the same. So does China.

        You can try to protect things with encryption, but it doesn’t really matter. I have a device (as do all three letter agencies) that lets you put a wand near a device and extract the encryption keys by it’s electromagnetic radiation. Alternatively, it can be done with power – the voltage for a 1 is higher than the voltage for a zero, so if you measure accurately enough, you can get an idea what’s going on in the networks.

        This happens, and it’s going to continue to be the case for the foreseeable future. The reason is simple – to build a device that a good hacker can’t compromise, you need someone who knows as much (or more) as that hacker. The developers who write code are generally not security engineers, so we continue to have bad code. There aren’t enough security engineers to have them write all software that’s needed.

    • Bryan

      So they’ve already got us by the nesmins and we’re still doing nothing. Isn’t this the time that the sane head of government executes the incoming party for high treason and does something to put a stop to this shit?

      • Lazycrockett

        But but what about our smooth transition of power????

        • Bryan

          Appearances, we have to keep up with the Jonesfses

        • Skeptical_Inquirer

          This is the type of thing that makes people irritated with the Dems. We have a fucking Siberian Candidate going la-dee-da into the Oval Office and they just keep sweeping the carpets. This a freaking emergency!

          • Bryan

            I’ve been thinking more and more they’re still trying to pull Obama’s hand and it occurs to me they WANT him to declare martial law, because then everything they said about him is right. But that’s just fringe benefit if they’ve even considered it.

          • Skeptical_Inquirer

            Hhm, that’s an interesting theory. I don’t want martial law declared but I’m also afraid that Trump and co. will use it instead since they have shown absolutely no willingness to play by rules and traditions.

          • Lazycrockett

            Drumpf allured to enforcing martial law during his acceptance speech at the RNC.

          • clay

            Yep, “the cities would be safe within 24 hours of him taking office.”

          • The Return of Traxley

            That undoubtedly will lead to a coup. I’m not joking anymore.

          • Kate

            If Obama tries to institute martial law, the military will refuse to follow orders, and it will weaken the democrats even more.

          • Kate

            “This a freaking emergency!”

            No, it’s a democratic process. When the government gets to decide who the states can elect, the republic has failed. At that point, it’s no different than the countries where dear leader gets 99% of the popular vote, because there is only one candidate permitted to run.

            There were two candidates (with a snowballs chance of winning). If the government overthrows the election, then the ruling party (democrats) would literally be deciding that only a democrat could be eligible to be president.

          • The Return of Traxley

            Not irritated. Furious to the point that I don’t expect any action. It’s time to prepare to take our own.

    • Sam_Handwich
      • That_Looks_Delicious

        This is the photo of the year.

        • Helenwshank

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !mj153d:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !mj153d:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash153TopCentralGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!mj153d:….,….

          • ChrisMorley

            FLAGGED and REPORTED

        • Autumnjwilson

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !mj101d:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !mj101d:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash101TopMatterGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!mj101d:….,….,

      • Bryan

        DUARF DUARF

      • greenmanTN

        REDRUM! REDRUM!

    • Snarkaholic

      If this happens, major companies will also be without power. Hopefully, the owners/shareholders will demand that he be ousted.

    • safari

      Thank goodness our grid is comprised of sticks and ancient incantations.

      Unless the monitoring software freezes because of a computer worm; then the sticks and twigs melt. Like in 2003.

      • houstonray

        “…sticks and ancient incantations” That literally made me laugh out loud!!!

      • BearEyes

        sticks from all the mutilated trees due to “trimming” to avoid the 19th century delivery system (overhead wires).

    • houstonray
    • bkmn

      This is who the GOP is cheering on. Dear Democrats, do not pass this opportunity by.

    • Cuberly
      • The Return of Traxley

        Eichwald’s been right about everything else so far. He’s a prophet crying in the wilderness.

      • Dazzer

        It’ll be interesting to see what Eichenwald comes up with.

        In non-US intelligence agencies, there’s been a mass of speculation and whispers about what the Russians have on Trump.

        Films of him and underaged girls and cocaine seem to be the most regularly quoted.

  • rextrek1

    Ok that was Really Good……………….but sad…..

  • That_Looks_Delicious

    So it’s a documentary.

    In other news, the new uniforms for the female Trump White House staffers have been delivered.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ad6021ca46ab96f04f63979bf87ea901d4b075674b77a66f1bf7044345752669.jpg

    • rextrek1

      LOL…..that’s so bad – LOL I laughed out loud seriously –

    • Bryan

      Quick, put cat ears on them. And then something with the Xzibit meme. If we create pussyception maybe it’ll open a black hole and swallow Trump alive!

    • Dreaming Vertebrate

      The floral decorations are really pretty – are they orchids or carnations?
      /s

      • Natty Enquirer

        Ask Georgia O’Keeffe.

        • Dreaming Vertebrate

          Could they be carnivorous flowers?

          • Sam_Handwich

            you stay away from that little green dino!

          • Natty Enquirer

            I never get close enough to find out.

        • safari

          Once upon a time, the “progressive” university student groups were housed at the top of the union: LGBTAQQI group, Womyn’s council [*shudder*], and the council for students with disabilities were all in one suite. It was amusing hearing about how the actual do-gooders interacting with the community for people with learning and attention disorders had to explain why there were a bunch of O’Keeffe glue-and-glitter knockoffs posted on every wall. My favorite was called “Glam-rock Pussy”.

        • Waarki

          Ask Judy Chicago

    • safari
      • fuzzybits

        Wrasslin Rita!

        • safari

          Grotesque. Bold. In-house for context. Yet I feel it’s what the trans people in my life are fighting against whether they know it or not.

          • fuzzybits

            It’s probably my favorite John Waters movie of his older films.

    • safari

      Is that what they look like?

      • MBear

        I heard they have teeth. Big, sharp, nasty teeth. Where’s the teeth?!?

      • Bomer

        I couldn’t say. The last time I was near one was when I was born.

    • houstonray

      No wonder I’m gay…that’s the most frightening thing I’ve ever seen.

    • bkmn

      They need bigger racks. Donnie doesn’t like pancakes.

    • ChrisMorley
      • Dazzer

        It’s worth noting that when he shot his nude swimming scenes in Africa it was actually in a chilly pond in Hereford on a cold Spring day.

        He did three takes without complaint, but suggested to onlookers that there’d be no frontal nudity and if they were going to tell their friends about watching from the sidelines, could they do him a favour and lie about how big he was.

        In every aspect, Tom Hardy is Mr Cool.

      • Gerry Fisher

        YES, please

  • MΩebym

    Who needs this when the year 2016 was practically a 366-day-long horror movie?

    • Bryan

      You just named the sequel “2016: 366-Days a Year”

      • MΩebym

        one extra day and second, just to extend our suffering

        • Bryan

          Oh Good someone caught the joke, I was afraid it was too on the nose.
          Edit: This time, they’re attacked by people in Pence and Putin masks.

  • My Keys Aren’t Bored

    Why can’t they pay IT Guys big bucks to safeguard the US Computer Network?

    • safari

      Reagan made it so they don’t get paid overtime and management puts security and recovery as typically “outside the scope of this project.”

      • safari

        (Plus security is really, really hard.)

        [Plus there are major tradeoffs between security and freedom.]

        • safari

          {Plus, making the grid secure and flexible means that people will produce their own power.}

      • That_Looks_Delicious

        I might be wrong, but I think MKAB was making a sarcastic comment about how *little* those in the tech industry (not necessarily the case for government IT workers) are paid compared to the rest of us.

        • safari

          Perhaps MKAB was being sarcastic. From seeing the effects on the ground, it’d be even more amusing if sarcasm was the intent.

    • BearEyes

      H1B visas outsourcing to lowest bidder farm shops displacing local workers

  • safari

    O/T: How would you plan a trip to Chicago with your almost-retired mother to be both economical but memorable?

  • For some, this story may not be that familiar, but it’s one many American Indians of the Pacific NW have lived with for a generation. When the more than 9000 year old skeleton was uncovered near Kinnewick, Washington, those remains became an icon of so many Native Americans whose remains were locked away in museums across the United States. Perhaps it’s related to the fact that it’s estimated up to 90% of the Native population died within two generations of White contact, death, grief, and loss are a focus of many Native paths of spirituality. The bones of all these people are for many of us, individuals who were loved and needed to be respected in death in a way they may not have been in life. But historically, the federal government approved of just handing them over to non-Native people to do with them whatever they wanted. At first the so-called Kinnewick Man was misidentified as non-Native, which justified shutting out the concerns of Native people. Recent DNA testing shows the connection to the Native people who are still here. And so—after so many years, he’s being returned to the earth—with prayers, songs, and respect. At the close of such a really awful year—something decent—something healing—has happened. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6733f0e86aabec513999ef7512f595d58f5d049ad1e57519a0fcaba03546fdd3.jpg

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      I’ve heard about Kennewick Man. He led a pretty rough life. Also, people saw a bust made without head hair and facial hair and liked to joke he looked like Patrick Stewart.

      • Lazycrockett

        Or maybe Stewart just looks an like a future Captain of a starship that got trapped in a past timeline waiting to the end of his life to be rescued by an alien creature that goes by a single letter…..ba da dum.

    • SoCalGal20

      I’m happy to hear he’s being returned to his people so he can be interred as he was meant to be.

      Along with President Obama’s designation of Bear’s Ears and Gold Butte as National Monuments (with Bears Ears to be managed by a coalition of Native American tribes if I heard correctly), both sites are sacred to Native Americans, this week has had a little bit of good news.

  • crewman

    xkcd is topical:
    http://xkcd.com/1779/

    • safari

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/07e5e55baefb89092f39f7a18bbb60129189b30de6726c3dd3432d3c96df1971.png
      [Alt Text: “Things are looking good for the eclipse — Nate Silver says Earth will almost definitely still have a moon in August.]

      • safari
        • Skeptical_Inquirer

          I’ve never seen a full eclipse. I’d really like to see one. I’m so down on my fellow Americans that I hope they don’t scream that demons are stealing the sun.

          • safari

            The next US solar eclipse will not be until 2024. The one after, 2045.

            I want to make time for the one in 2017.

        • Lazycrockett

          That should put some pressure on the New Madrid Fault line.

          • safari

            It really won’t but, well, how exciting.

          • safari

            (2nd reply, as a personal note). I spent a good half an hour explaining about the New Madrid Fault to my family a few days ago. “Why don’t we know about it? Are you sure? I’ve never heard about it” seemed the base response. And then I pulled up a USGS damage probability map. Though the eyes of my relatives went toward the pacific coastline (see? It’s red there, too), I noted that the New Madrid and (oh, for so many ways) South Carolina are worse.

  • SoCalGal20

    As usual, because I am working and basically busy all day I have missed out on all of the day’s conversation.

    I assume this has been discussed but Simon & Schuster released a statement today justifying giving Milo a book deal (with a $250,000 advance). It’s as tone deaf and craven as you’d expect it to be.

    “We do not and never have condoned discrimination or hate speech in any form,” the company said in a statement posted to social media. “At Simon & Schuster, we have always published books by a wide range of authors with greatly varying, and frequently controversial opinions, and appealing to many different audiences of readers.”

    The statement continued, “While we are cognizant that many may disagree vehemently with the books we publish, we note that the opinions expressed therein belong to our authors, and do not reflect either a corporate viewpoint or the views of our employees.”

    http://ew.com/books/2016/12/30/simon-schuster-responds-milo-yiannopoulos-book-deal/?xid=entertainment-weekly_socialflow_twitter

    • safari

      and do not reflect either a corporate viewpoint” Really? Profiting off of suffering isn’t a corporate view?

      • SoCalGal20

        Right?! I like how they say that as if it excuses them from any culpability in promoting and rewarding hate and bigotry and fascism.

        • safari

          From a background of raw compsci and biology I learned a phrase when entering into the world of corporate application: “externality”. Apparently the idea that anything beyond the focus of the current project is some kind of cloud that means nothing is ingrained, cannot [or should not, depending on project goals] be computed, and is of no concern for many managers. Astounding.

    • That_Looks_Delicious

      About missing out on the day’s news: This is every day for me since Nov. 8 when I fire up the computer and look at what’s happened since yesterday.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0bb471ff7a09306d3c7d7523d5f6bbc464e03f2dfd8c7ddf0a0d4a58773b1dfb.jpg

      • Treant

        What’s the problem? Slam the door and nuke it on high for three minutes. Even an eldritch creature can’t stand the microwave.

    • bkmn

      I hope they feel the pain for this decision for a long time. There is no excusing this.

      • safari

        Some of the great economic minds tried to tie ethics and morality into raw theories of economics and biology. One economist sulked in pain when it could not be reconciled.

        George Price, who found a mathematical treatment via biology, killed himself: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_R._Price#Death

  • Blake J Butler

    Here is a learning lesson kiddos, never allow someone in your family to go into the flooring business. I just helped move a decades worth of tile, wood flooring, tile saws, and carpet today into the back of a trailer to make two trips to sell to a family friend, and to clean it out of a storage building unit so that you can put your tractor in there to be stored.

    It might’ve been a lucrative business, paid for countless vacations, home remodeling projects, christmases, birthdays, college education, but damn i just found out the what the other bad side of having a part time contractor for a father was, having to move wall to wall of flooring materials that have spent a good decade in a storage unit from previous jobs.

    Like looking at a piece of tile and i can tell you the employers story, who they were, what they were like, did i like them or hate them, etc.

  • fuow

    Christ on toast, they needn’t add any special effects or scary, made up anything – just tell the truth about 2016.
    Oh, and all you gay men who didn’t bother to vote? Fuck you. This is your fault.

  • Blake J Butler

    This is something i could get behind, or in front of. Interesting way to play ping-pong.

    Never thought the idea of using a dick as a paddle to hit a ping pong ball.

    https://v.eroshare.com/151bmd42.mp4

    • Bomer

      Ok that takes some talent, but ow.

  • houstonray

    Sadly, aren’t sequels usually worse than the original?

    The sequel to this one (tentatively titled 2017) starts in just a few hours…

  • Natty Enquirer

    2016 tried to claim 18 people stuck on a ride at Knott’s Berry Farm, but the firefighters are bringing them down now, one by one, on a rope. Watch live at http://abc7.com/live/

    • Bryan

      Lets Caesar 2016, long live the Democratic Republic of the United States, fuck Trump, fuck his usurpation, and fuck the coming crazy.

  • DaddyRay

    OT: Mental Health Break

    Barack Obama’s Photographer Shares His Favorite Candid Photos Of 2016
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/best-white-house-photos-2016_us_5866889ce4b0de3a08f814d9

  • MΩebym
  • safari

    Better than warm milk: Miyazaki’s Castle in the Sky
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3c675d6980553093a557bdbd51205e6f124bf302f2a4a346c6f202254a4ef4fe.gif
    (Always give Miyazaki a chance; his work should be remembered for eternity.)

    • Lazycrockett

      You mentioned a visit to chicago earlier, so I wanted to mention a must see, The Shea Aquarium and a great lil out of the way place, The Butterfly Haven at the Peggy Notebaert on the northside.

      • safari

        Thanks :).

      • safari

        (Poor form) I want to treat my near retirement mother to things she’d like. I’m reposting this for advice since I’m leaving shame for, well, what’d make my ma happy in Chi-town?

    • MΩebym

      His movies feature strong, self-sufficient female leads. A real feminist filmmaker.

      http://www.nausicaa.net/miyazaki/interviews/heroines.html

      My favorite of his works is My Neighbor Totoro. It’s simply a magical movie.

      • safari

        I first met him with the US release of Howl’s Moving Caste. Excellent as far as I can extend that adjective.

        • safari

          I’m a non-breeder person; but the themes, art, and story should be shown to *every* child.

          • safari

            [Last]: His films are in a class of their own. Especially for children: the innocence is unprecedented

  • Cuberly

    Walnutz is taking the lead.

    With today’s latest news, wonder if the GOP will follow suit and stop the pussy-footing around and WTFU.

    https://twitter.com/Amy_Siskind/status/815020621604196352

    • Lazycrockett

      Its going to be so interesting to see if any other GOPer beside McCain and Graham takes up the cause. I highly doubt it.

      • Cuberly

        I’m hoping the outcry gets louder. So far it looks like it’s heading that direction. But, like you said….will it pan out?

    • BobSF_94117

      The hearings shouldn’t start. What should start is an independent prosecutor. We should start a rumor that someone got a blow job. Republicans are all over bj investigations!

  • Treant

    OT: In the spirit of starting clean for the New Year (translation: got pants for Christmas, have no hangers and no room in the walk-in closet to hang them), I started clearing out things that are old, don’t fit, or are too worn to be seen in.

    It turns out that I could easily clear two large garbage bags of trash, and two bags to donate.

    I might have a slight hoarding problem when it comes to cleaning out the closet. I haven’t done it in fourteen years…

  • Blake J Butler

    Joe Jackson died, yes THAT Jackson.

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    My current mind soothing series is Steven Universe. I’m still in the first season but it’s a pleasant animated series that’s aimed at kids but seems to have a very large adult fandom.

  • DaddyRay

    OT: The guests at their wedding should ask for the gifts back, they obviously never really loved each other.

    Christian couple in Australia plan to divorce if same-sex marriage is legalised
    http://www.borderherald.com/christian-couple-australia-plan-divorce-sex-marriage-legalised/

  • Lazycrockett

    https://twitter.com/CNNPolitics/status/815003804051656704

    I have never wished more ill on a woman than this evil traitor.

    • coram nobis

      “Solicitor.” “General.”

    • DaddyRay

      All I see when i watch the Trump Tranwreck is a shallow corrupt house of cards that will certainly come crashing down one day – the question will be what damage will be done before it happens

      • Skeptical_Inquirer

        What I worry about is that it’ll destroy everything BUT the GOP. They’re so made of goddamn Teflon.

  • coram nobis

    Inter alia, Simon & Schuster stands by their new sensation, Milo Yappypoodle, even before his book about his love interest Warren Pease.

    https://www.theguardian.com/books/2016/dec/30/milo-yiannopoulos-book-deal-simon-schuster-dangerous-outcry

    • johncAtl

      Simon & Schuster underestimates the impact this election has had. People are choosing sides and companies are going to suffer regardless. If they think the alt-right (uneducated white supremacists) buy books they are in for a surprise.

  • Oh’behr

    2016 did suck. Bye Beeblemeyer or was that 2015?
    And other JMG’ers who died too.
    Often silently they disappeared with their avatars no longer appearing here.

    Also, I have thought other years sucked more in terms of personal deaths.
    Of people I knew personally; like dying from AIDS or other diseases.

    Yet 2016 sucked in terms of celebrity deaths.

  • Best part for me was the reference to those ridiculous “Mannequin Challenges.” I mean, how “challenging” is it to freeze in place? If you’re gonna do it, do it like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwMj3PJDxuo

  • The Return of Traxley

    Okay guys. And ladies.

    I didn’t sleep well last night. The power grid story has been my tipping point.

    Losing the grid or having it held hostage is the prelude to the destruction of civil society in this country.

    It’s time to start seriously planning for when it happens.

    I am making a list of supplies. I am looking at survival guides. I am going to start making a binder of maps in case GPS is disabled. I’m planning on losing internet access. I am thinking of what to gather now from the house in an emergency. I’m thinking of what I’ll do with limited medication. If I start now, I have a little under 50 grand in cash I can access and withdraw. I plan to contact my brother’s family and ease into the conversation.

    If necessary, I have a place to go that’s five hours out of the city, if I take back roads to avoid freeways and can make it across the Mackinac Bridge. There’s water, shelter, wood for burning, game to hunt.

    I’ve had this plan in the back of my head since 1983, but this time it’s time to start putting the pieces together.

    I’m normally a very rational guy. I’m not paranoid. But I don’t want to die a slow, violent death if I can avoid it.

    Am I insane?

    • Gustav2

      What are you going to do if the bridge is out? Swim the 5 miles?

      • The Return of Traxley

        I don’t know. That’s the part that scares me to death.

        Driving around Lake Michigan is out of the question. Skirting around Chicago is certain death. Towing a small boat is an option; I can launch it south of Cheboygan at 40 Mile Point. The beach is flat, sandy, and easy to access from the parking area. The boat option only requires a compass to, but it’s a long ride and much of my stuff would be left behind. I have an elderly aunt in Onaway, fifteen miles south of the bridge. She’d take me in, especially if I could provide protection and provisions.

        • worstcultever

          Oh and also, no matter what you do, the assholes will be trying to do it too, and just as with everything, they’ll outnumber and overrun you. (law of the universe = assholes win)

          Sorry to be so dark, but I think I’m just being realistic. And “que sera, sera” is my only ticket to sanity at the moment. We can’t live in the future, only the present. Enjoy the hell out of whatever is still left to enjoy, is my only daily motto.

    • worstcultever

      Sounds reasonable enough, but if it all comes to that I have no interest in surviving. Hell, I barely have any interest in surviving now.

    • Silver Badger

      No, you aren’t insane. You’re scared. Unfortunately, all you’re doing is providing a rich target for those who didn’t plan. If you are truly certain fleeing and hiding is the only option, do it now. Don’t hope for that bridge to remain open. Don’t hope back roads will work as an escape route. They are easier to block. Or, you can say “what the fuck” and live each day to it’s fullest. No one is guaranteed one breath after the next anyway.

      • The Return of Traxley

        True.

        But watching friends and neighbors descend into chaos is something I don’t think I can handle.

        I’ve been treated for major depression for decades. Part of the struggle has been to keep myself fighting against self-harm. It’s one of the few successes I’ve had in this life. I’m determined to never let that happen.

        But I don’t want to have to take up arms against people that I normally would have greeted with a smile in times before.

        I don’t know. I really don’t know.

        • Silver Badger

          Again, if fleeing is your only option, DO IT NOW. Go to your isolated location and dig in. Become a part of the landscape so you don’t stick out. Depression is a bitch. I speak from personal experience. Talk to your doctor about how you feel and don’t make any irrevocable decisions until you do.

          • The Return of Traxley

            Gotta head to work now. I’d like to continue our conversation later today if you don’t mind.

          • Silver Badger

            Not at all.

        • Dazzer

          Well, if you’re going to take this seriously, you need to find a place to safely store supplies and food. Then you need to make several trips up to that place and do so incrementally until it’s fully stocked.

          Driving anywhere with a full car will just make you a tempting target in the event of catastrophe.

          Also, you need to familiarise yourself with your preferred location so you understand the lie of the land, local weather conditions and foragable and huntable food.

          Also, as has been suggested, you should make yourself a recognisable person so that you don’t stand out with locals.

          Given the amount of exercise you’ll have to underake to get all your stores and safe place in order, the physicality of the operation will probably give your depression a good kicking because your brain chemistry will change to adapt to a new environment.

          • The Return of Traxley

            • I drive an older minivan. Generic, inconspicuous.

            • Your point about a full vehicle is noted. There are four houses in the remote location I can reach. One used to belong to our family — the current owners live in Marin County, CA. They visit one week a year. To get there they’d have to take a minimum of three connecting flights and a two-hour drive in a rented car. The other two are log cabins on the lake, whose owners live several states away and visit only once every six or seven years or so.

            • I know the locals. I’ve known them for 40 years ago. My parents started a church in town 25 years ago that’s still going strong. My dad was the school superintendent. I have several Facebook friends that in contact with.

            •Physically, I’m in great shape. 5’9″, 150 pounds, 31 inch waist. Same as high school 40 years ago. Blood pressure excellent, cholesterol excellent. I’m already very physically active. No arthritis, no chronic physical issues. My asthma actually subsides drastically up there.

            • I know the woods. I’ve known them since I was a kid. I know every inch of our 40 acres, including the ruins of the 18th century Hudson Bay trapper shelter. It would not be hard to rebuild. I know how to use an axe and a splitting maul. I know how to fell trees safely. I know what the winters are like and where the deer yards are.

            I don’t want to have to take this seriously.

    • The Return of Traxley

      EDIT: The one “good” thing about struggling with life-long major depression is that it causes me to immediately assume the worst will happen at the first sign of trouble.

      What I’m thinking here is likely just an escape fantasy. Realistically, I may be looking to stay put after stockpiling essentials, maybe investing in a generator and fuel. But that’s money wasted over the long term — I’d be better off spending that cash on containers for water and food.

      Yeah, I’m scared. At this point I think it’s the sensible reaction, and my way of dealing with it is to think proactively, even if I’m only delaying the inevitable.

    • Dazzer

      Of course you’re insane. Your first port of call should be to raid the freezers of the doubtless deserted Grand Hotel on Mackinaw Island. Also, stock up on the island’s famous saltwater taffee – that stuff will exist long after any nuclear disaster.

      • The Return of Traxley

        Um.. It’s Mackinac Island. Reached.by ferry from Mackinaw City or St. Ignace, or across the ice in late January. But that’s been pretty unreliable in the last several years.

        If I’m going to cross ice, I’d sooner go further north on the St. Marys River and go to St. Joseph Island in Ontario. It’s not even a mile offshore from Barbeau. When the Coast Guard stops breaking a shipping channel after the locks close for the season, it’s easy to get into Canada unnoticed. I used to take the boat to visit the old British fort on St. Joe before 9/11 with only a call to customs from the phone at the dock.