Trump Adviser Boris Epshteyn: We Won’t Have Big Stars At The Inauguration Because We Don’t Want Any

Politico reports:

Donald Trump’s inaugural committee is having no problems finding celebrities to attend his inauguration because that’s not who the committee is looking for, Trump adviser Boris Epshteyn said Tuesday.

“Not at all,” Epshteyn, the inaugural committee communications director, told CNN. “You know, this is not Woodstock. It’s not Summer Jam. It’s not a concert. It’s not about celebrities. As Donald Trump tweeted himself, it’s about the people. That’s what we’re concentrated on.”

Indeed, the president-elect tweeted last week that “so-called ‘A’ list celebrities are all wanting tixs to the inauguration” but stressed that he wants the everyday Americans who supported his campaign to attend. “[L]ook what they did for Hillary, NOTHING,” he tweeted about such stars.

So far the only confirmed performers are the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, the Rockettes (some of them, at least), and the 2009 runner-up from America’s Got Talent.

  • bkmn

    Uh huh.

  • Cherry

    You know this is absolutely killing Trump.

    • crewman

      I believe the technical term is Sour Grapes.

    • james1200

      It’s just gonna piss him off and it’s dangerous messing with an unstable man like Trump. When he gets angry, there’s always hell toupee.

      • GayOldLady

        He might nuke your garage!

    • kaydenpat

      I’m loving it so it’s got to be killing him.

    • Uncle Mark

      I bet Trump’s even missing the young trio of cheerleaders he refused to pay.

      • The Return of Traxley

        You know that all these performers are on their own for lodging and travel expenses. They may even have to pay an “access fee” just to get in.

        • Uncle Mark

          They’re probably REQUIRED to stay at the Trump hotel, in addition to paying ffor their own room. Hail to the Grift

          • David Walker

            Hail to the Cheat.

          • Robincho

            Heil to the Grief…

        • JW Swift

          Yeah, a recent local newscast highlighted a local high school band that’s trying to raise a whole bunch of money in order to travel to DC and play at the inauguration. All the expenses will be on them.

          • Skeptical_Inquirer

            I wouldn’t bother. I’d worry about being egged.

          • Nowhereman

            I donate to our local youth groups, but if our high school’s band was raising money for this, I’d try to talk them out of it.

          • Librarykid

            They will probably have to stay at a motel somewhere outside the Beltway. Of course, that will only work if the HUGE storm the Gay Weather Front is working on fails to materialize and the temperature does not drop like a rock changing wind-driven rain to wind driven sleet and then blizzard snow conditions for at least two days. The timing is the thing. Would it be better to start two days before, blocking arrivals or after all of the people are on the mall for the swearing (in or at, your pick), get soaked and then frozen.

          • Beagle

            Wisconsin native who has lived in metro DC for over 28 years, here. I vote starting two days before to block arrivals, ending late, late Thursday night — too late to clear any but the very most major roads. Plus, anyone that does make it to the Mall will have to stand in two feet of snow and/or ice, which will freeze the feet of anyone that doesn’t have knee-high boots.
            Plus, fed employees get Wednesday and Thursday off for the weather.

          • Librarykid

            Been here 40 years myself. I remember the Kennedy inaugural when I was a kid when soldiers worked all night to clean PA Ave for the parade.

            So Monday is MLK day then come in to work on Tuesday, although many are taking the three days off anyway, storm on Wednesday and Thursday and then Friday is the Inaugural which will be snowed out and have to take place inside the Trump Hotel; get chief Justice Roberts out in the snow, heh heh. I like your plan. Sounds good to me and with no out of town guests, the balls will be poorly attended with no locals able to get out.

          • cleos_mom

            Wouldn’t need the Gay Weather Front — Jan. 20th isn’t exactly a balmy time of year and D.C. might not be Fairbanks but it gets some very nasty winter days. Might be bad for Trump’s health, his celebrity doctor’s “letter” notwithstanding.

      • Bob Conti

        I mean, who can vote for a person who rips off three little girls?

        • Kruhn

          60 million people, unfortunately.

          • Bob Conti

            Yup. Dumb question, wasn’t it?

          • Andymac3

            1) dumb
            2) low information
            3) racist
            4) fake Xtian
            5) all of the above
            voters

          • cleos_mom

            “Fake Xtian” sugar coats it.

            Interesting how many groups, but especially religious ones, magically transform believers into fakes the nanosecond they do/say anything even vaguely contradictory or embarrassing.

        • DonnaLee

          That story didn’t get enough traction, and so many of the other people he ripped off needed to speak up way more about that bullshit.

    • Uncle Mark

      Trump’s home town & state rejected him at the polls…and now he can’t even get his “friends” from Celebrity Apprentice to come to his coronation. Sad

    • Bj Lincoln

      But because in his mind ‘he can not lose’ he twists the goal to look as if it was intentional. I’m sure it is killing him but he will never admit it.

      • JW Swift

        He’s taking “spin” to an art form.

        This is why I’m so certain that all the predictions of how Trump’s upcoming political failures will spell the doom of the Rethuglican party are not going to come true: Trump’s people will be able to spin and lie to explain away the end of the fucking world if they wanted to, and the sheeple who’re only listening to the propaganda/news outlets like Faux Noize will believe whatever they’re told.

        • Mike__in_Houston

          I never believed that in the first place. They are like a bad penny who keeps coming back. And even if they did disappear, somebody worse would show up to take their place. I think that’s in the Bible…

      • Librarykid

        Maybe he will blow a blood vessel or bust a gut.

    • Michael R

      Hopefully something succeeds .

      • Uncle Mark

        Actually, I thought climbing the steps to Hair Force One would kill him, but I’m fine with this too.

    • Just admit the truth and move along…why lie and make up a story that WE all know is false…

      https://68.media.tumblr.com/a3232ce78881d35e8e889d5fbcd949f1/tumblr_nkepckpeJb1silxrio1_500.gif

      • Jerry

        Sure, Boris…

      • Michael White

        Because in their minds they are never wrong and everyone loves them. Just ask the orange turd

      • abqdan

        Because they’re talking to the brainless faithful, not us. So they’ll try and spin this to be a ‘different kind’ of president from day one.

        • Librarykid

          Different kind, like the irregulars at outlets?

      • Miji

        All the news network correspondents need to work on perfecting their ‘Sure Jan’ eye rolls for this incoming administration.

        • EXACTLY…why let these news agencies let them get away with such blatant lies and half-truths are the BIGGER issue for me…call them OUT…push back…but NO everyone was to have the public lie down on a BED OF LIES…bullshit…because I do not want to get bedsores…so I am going keep on moving

    • Mike__in_Houston

      There are going to be a lot of things absolutely killing Trump in the next few years. Why, sometimes as many as six things have killed Trump before breakfast.

      • Snarkaholic

        You might as well try to grab a (fleeing) banderSNATCH!

    • Of course it is. The sour grapes tweet was hiliarious. “I invited all the popular kids to my party but they all said no, like I wanted them to come anyway.” I can’t believe anyone can repeat that with a straight face. But really, considering how many right wing country stars there are, you’d think a few of them would be willing to show up. Not even right wing asshole Toby Keith? Trump is toxic even to the right.

      • Bj Lincoln

        I had to LOL when I read the headline. He is such a spoiled rich kids no one likes. I was hoping the fact many repugs don’t like him he wouldn’t make it into office. They all voted the party line no matter what they think. I do hope they help the Dems when it comes time to vote down the repeals and laws that will hurts us.

        • Skeptical_Inquirer

          What I’m hoping for is that the Trumpeteers can recognize personal pain when they feel it and they say “NO touch my medicare! No touch my Social Security!”, actually bother to threaten their reps, and since the government can’t (at least in principle) keep those only for white people, they have to keep it as is for everyone.

          • Bj Lincoln

            At least they will suffer as bad as the rest of us.

      • Librarykid

        He only invited them because his mommy said he had to.

        What about those Benhams or the Duggars? I don’t know what their talent is, but they could stand around, smile and look pretty.

    • Roger

      And it´s gonna be 4 long years of being publicly ridiculed and despised, will the hairfuror be able to survive it?

    • Anastasia Beaverhousen

      Where’s all his D-list “Celebrity Apprentice” alumni?

      • karmanot

        I mean ,Biggy, and Tuopac, right?

    • Nic Peterson

      Not quite absolutely or enough, but it’s a start. Perhaps Boris can arrange for a big bonfire for all the dudes that like to dress up in cotton/poly sheets. I understand they like trump bigly.

    • Richard, another Canuck

      Here is hoping you are correct in you prophecy…

  • S1AMER

    Please wake me if anybody in Trumpland ever says an honest word.

    Z-z-z-z-z …

    • Mark Neé Fuzz

      You’ll put Rip Van Winkle to shame with that nap.

    • Christopher

      We’ll try to keep the apocalypse down.

      Hopefully the Unicorns will be back to wake you after we’re all gone.

  • Mark Neé Fuzz

    Bullshit. For example, whether she’s your cup or tea or not, Celine Dion is a huge star and she basically told you to go fuck yourself. Should we google all the others who’ve told you to get lost?

    • kaydenpat

      What a nerve he had to ask her in the first place given that her dearly departed husband was of Morrocan descent.

    • Kruhn

      And she probably sang it too.

  • Bill

    Maybe Melania would be willing to do a couple of runway walks or something?

    • Jerry Kott

      and show her tits?

      • Mark Neé Fuzz

        You beat me to it. I thought maybe she’d put on a strip show.

    • Pollos Hermanos

      I heard something about gold plated ping pong balls and a Russian donkey.

      • The Return of Traxley

        Maybe she’ll ask her friends in Bankok and Tiajuana to make special appearances.

        • TuuxKabin

          Uh, spelling nazi here, Tijuana, unless you’re referring to ‘aunt Jane’. =;0)

          • The Return of Traxley

            Thank you. I overslept and am waiting for coffee.

          • TuuxKabin

            Well, where is it? Jeeze, what’s a person gotta do?

    • Uncle Mark

      How about Melania doing a runway walk into a propeller blade?

    • kaydenpat

      Melanie’s time with Trump is probably coming to an end. She’s getting old.

      • Frostbite

        i’m curious if he’ll dump her while he’s still president.

        • The Return of Traxley

          He will, but he’ll claim she selfishly left him just to gain more Trumpanzee thoughts and prayers.

          • David Walker

            This will backfire, happily, because every white trash and white collar asshole who voted for drumpf will now think he stands a chance with the former First Tart.

          • The Return of Traxley

            I’m not sure.

            I think it’ll ony reinforce his misogynistic base that women are ungrateful, can’t be trusted, and will always betray the man who provides them with everything they’ve ever wanted.

          • Frostbite

            what are they praying for? that he’ll get a soul? compassion? intelligence? well, we all know how effective “thoughts and prayers” are…

          • The Return of Traxley

            Prayers for Dear Leader to find peace and strength in this difficult time. Also to show their allegiance to the death for him.

        • swimboy

          I was wondering that as soon as I heard that she was going to stay in NYC after the inaguration so Barron didn’t have to switch schools. It’s not like he’s a senior in high school and doesn’t want to switch with a few months left. He’s only 10 years old. I think I switched schools 3 times the year I was 10.

          • Frostbite

            no offense, but you’re no where near as precious as trump’s genetically superior offspring. his chromosomes are the best!

          • swimboy

            Regardless of how orange his chromosomes are, I think it’s just a cover for the fact that they’ve already split. Especially since Ivanka has said she’s going to take over most of the responsibilities of First Lady.

            Melania’s getting out while the getting’s good.

          • Frostbite

            not like Melania had much choice in the matter. good little trophy wife does what her husband master tells her to do.

          • swimboy

            That may be influencing the situation. Perhaps she wanted a divorce and he threatened to destroy her if she went ahead with it, and this is the compromise they reached, and used Barron as an excuse.

            I just can’t imagine someone like Melania choosing not to be First Lady, and to step aside for her stepdaughter.

          • David Walker

            I suspect it’s not the first time she stepped aside for her stepdaughter.

          • swimboy

            You’re terrible, Muriel!

          • JDS

            IF they are his chromosomes…..

    • SilasMarner

      Or give another stolen speech. Or do a Shakespearean soliloquy and claim it as her own. (snicker, snicker)

      • Snarkaholic

        “Shall I compare thee to a Summer’s Eve?
        Thou art more ugly (and more douchier(!)
        Rough hands do shake the startling butts of me.”

  • Rolf

    One is of course reminded of Aesop’s fable regarding sour grapes.

    • Uncle Mark

      Sour grapes is all you’ll find in Trump wine (or is it Trump whine)?

    • Michael R

      His whole life is an attempt to force admiration from people ,
      and he will never succeed at it .

  • Jerry Kott

    It’s my Party and I’ll cry if I want to, cry if I want, to cry if I want to……

  • PickyPecker

    What? They can’t turn to the dRUMPf campaign theme for answers on this one?
    http://mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Mick-Jagger-You-Cant-Always-Get-What-You-Want-Reaction-Gif.gif

    • Michael R

      If you try sometimes
      you just might find
      YOU GET IMPEACHED

      • SilasMarner

        Oooooh yeah!

  • Pollos Hermanos

    “No entertainment necessary! For fun this time we finally kill moose and squirrel!”

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GbR1gKb1jTk/T4mtUH1ATSI/AAAAAAAACGI/iex8ENpWk0I/s1600/Boris_Badenov-Cartoon+Pictures+(4).jpg

    • Bared Bear

      I’m sure more than a couple of them enjoy torturing small animals.

      • Oh’behr

        Palin and Turkeys …

    • kaydenpat

      That reminds me, can Palin and Gingrich sing?

      • KCMC

        duet, (disappearing)Islands in a (toxic) Stream.

        • Snarkaholic

          Or Blue Skies (ruined by meeeeee).

      • David Walker

        Come impeachment time, they’ll both sing like the stool pigeons they are. (When it’s apple blossom time in Orange, New Jersey, they’ll make a peach of a pair.)

        • Robincho

          And you’re a banana — a fruit with appeal!…

          • David Walker

            Yeah? Well…well…shit. Can’t top that. And thank you.
            Time flies like a bandit. Fruit flies like a banana.

      • olandp

        I’m sure he’s available…
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbU9BZYcg1Y

  • Joe in PA

    Perfectly reasonable, adult response. #nananananana

    #hahahaha Sucks to be you.

  • David Walker

    So that would be a couple of Rockettes high-kicking, accompanied by the Morbid Tabershackle Choir with a runner-up singer singing the solos. That should be good for 5 minutes. Then what? The All-Start Alt-Right Precision Drill Team doing their routine accompanied by a recording of the SS Band.(haben Sie gehort das deutches Band?)

    • Joe in PA

      Where have you been David? Good to see you posting this am. I was thinking about you yesterday. 🙂

      • David Walker

        A couple of us decided to go on a self-medication retreat. I checked in here a couple of times (how could I miss “The Dance of the Sugar Plum Lesbians”?) and did a contribution or two when I could both think clearly and type reasonably well, but mostly it was off into la la land. No, we were not an all-gay group, but yes, we all lost someone we loved more than life itself this past year and this was our way of saying, “Fuck it. Fuck Christmas. Time for dreams in the arms of Morpheus” or whoever was nearby (some straight guys definitely know how to cuddle). Back to reality, although we all thought some good came out of it.

        • thatotherjean

          Glad that it helped, and happy to have you back.

        • Joe in PA

          Well, we’re all glad you are back. Ya know, so much has been made of all the ‘celebrities’ have we’ve lost this year and not much is said about those much much closer to us. I know at least two frequent posters here that have lost parents or in your case spouses. 2016 truly sucked. 🙁 But…onward and upward!

          • Christopher

            December 22 I lost my best friend.

            His name was Church. He was 20 yrs. old, and he was my cat. He was my Buddy.

            A piece of my soul died that day.

            2016 has really been a terrible year. I will stay up to make sure it dies!

          • Jamie Brewer

            My deepest sympathy.. the pain is gut wretching. When I lost my cat of 16 years in 2015 all I could think back to was the song “Mr Bojangles”…”The dog up and died, tjhe dog up and died, after 20 years he still greives.” A rescue cat entered my life a few months later; things are better. Keep your heart open.. there is a rescue/stray cat out there who could make you smile…

          • Joe in PA

            Dang, I’m so sorry Christopher. And I’m sorry I neglected to mention PETS! They as much ‘family’ as anyone. 🙁

          • Jwmvh

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/534c925da5575439da8c7e7i 07e92d8b6c9d84c19545defec5bed84cf72624bee.jpg

            I lost my pug Shirley after 12 years on 12/3. I miss her terribly!

        • Robincho

          Dorothy Parker calls that being “off in a corner with Morpheus, necking.” And evidently you’re good at it! Welcome back, though. We’ll be needing you here…

          • David Walker

            It’s fun to be friends of both Dorothys.

          • Robincho

            “Heterosexuality isn’t normal. It’s merely common,” — D.P.*

            *And I don’t mean double penetration. Or do I?!…

    • kaydenpat

      Ted Nugent and Kid Rock can play ALL their hits on a loop.

      • David Walker

        On one 8-track.

        • Robincho

          And now, here’s Kid Rock, with a medley of his hit!…

      • Tom Ato

        How do they dance to “Cat Scratch Fever”?

        • DJ John Bear

          I’ve seen go-go-girls dance to “Stranglehold”. Don’t ask.

          • Oh’behr

            Lol.

        • Chuck in NYC

          I’ve seen Republicans dance. It’s not a pretty sight.

          • Snarkaholic

            It’s hard to be graceful while tripping over all of those empty Mad Dog bottles!

          • Robincho

            Bottles of Mad Dog will be found in the roped-off VIP area…

          • Snarkaholic

            Bottle (upside the head) Service if you complain about the lack of entertainment.

    • Bob Conti
      • David Walker

        Hitler vas bootch! Love it.

        • Lars Littlefield

          When I first saw Will Ferrel’s performance of this number is when I finally realized he is actually a very talented performer. The lad nailed it.

    • CanuckDon

      Surely they can find a few court jesters to satisfy the King.

    • JW Swift

      They were probably counting on that Russian Army choir, but that just got cancelled. (I hereby refudiate myself for that remark.)

    • Jerry

      The USA Freedom Girls would have performed, but Trump failed to pay them for the last appearance.

    • Andymac3

      I didn’t know real estate companies had their own Choir?

      The more you know!

      http://www.deseretnews.com/article/170647/LDS-CHURCH-REAL-ESTATE-HOLDINGS-INCLUDE-FARMS-RANCHES-BUILDINGS.html?pg=all

  • Dutchlander

    Sure honey. You keep telling yourself that. There there.

  • swimboy

    Wow! This is the first thing I’ve read on the internet in a while that actually made me laugh out loud. And I mean LOUD!

  • Yixing’s Fluffer

    “Those grapes were sour, anyway.”

  • Mark Neé Fuzz

    Don’t want. Can’t get. To-may-to. To-mah-to.

  • Bared Bear

    As entertaining and annoying as their constant whining currently is, it’s going to be horrifying when they go silent in a few weeks.

  • Michael R

    Why is Chachi not making this announcement ?

    • Kevin Perez

      Because Chachi is free of talent.

      • Todd20036

        so is Banana Kirk

    • Snarkaholic

      Can they get Jerk Cameron? He could do a stand-up comedy routine about how all of teh gheys are going to hell.

  • kaydenpat

    Or A-listers know when to lie low. Serenading Trump is a career killer.

    • Frostbite

      What, you’re saying the trash who voted for him wouldn’t spend money on their albums and concerts? lol

  • tcinsf

    Ah, the “Fox and the Grapes” retort.

  • TuuxKabin
  • Frostbite

    more like “i don’t want what i can’t have.”

  • Friday

    Thanks for that word from the Secretary of Implausible Denial. 🙂

  • Oikos
    • CanuckDon

      Is it just me or is his hand going faster and faster?

      • Oikos

        Optical illusion.

      • David Walker

        Oooo…let’s hope so.

  • SilasMarner

    Does anyone else notice that reeking, rank smell of bullshit coming from the Trump camp?

    • geoffalnutt

      As usual.

  • TexasBoy

    Boris says that he and his wife, Natasha, will be there. They aren’t inviting Moose and Squirrel.

    • BlindBill

      Why spin it…. moose and squirrel were invited, and they also refused to attend.

      • Christopher

        Moose and Squirrel were the headliners of their show. They’re A-Listers.

    • David Walker

      Fearless Leader (that is, THEIR Fearless Leader) insisted. We all know what THAT means.

  • Skip Intro

    Oh, they’ll scrape up a few country music “stars” … and who doesn’t want to see George Zimmerman dance with the Rockettes?

  • Oikos
    • Kruhn

      RIP Baghdad Bob.

  • TexasBoy

    Next up, Vlad Putin to be a celebrity guest at inauguration.

    • Mike__in_Houston

      Maybe Putin, Comey and Assange can sing a trio. Of course, Assange would have to participate via closed-circuit television. The final trio from Der Rosenkavalier might be fun, or maybe the one from Faust if they don’t want to be quite so highbrow…

    • Christopher

      “I wonder if Putin will be attending the inauguration?”

      Let that question fly across the interwebs and see where it takes us.

  • Frostbite

    He doesn’t want anyone to take away from his time in the spotlight.

  • The Return of Traxley

    Translation:

    “We only invited you because we felt sorry for you. We never wanted you to come in the first place.”

  • Dreaming Vertebrate

    Free copy of Aesop’s fable that made “sour grapes” famous, will be provided to each B-list performer. Each “The Fox and the Grapes” gift will be personally signed by our very own master fabulist – KellyAnne.

  • Oikos
    • Friday

      Well, that’s one for the ages. 🙂

      • David Walker

        Or the aged.

        • Lars Littlefield

          Or the mentally disadvantaged.

          • Treant

            Don’t play that in funeral homes. The dead will reanimate as zombies just to turn that shit off. And then where will we be?

    • Dreaming Vertebrate

      Those signs are in French!
      Why does Chachi hate America??

      • Lars Littlefield

        🙂

    • Uncle Mark

      Well, if he likes going backwards, I can see why he backed the orange-shit show. He just better be aware of what he’s likely to back up into/onto

    • agcons

      How embarrassing for him (not that I care).

  • Dirk Prophet

    They don’t want celebs because Donald does like to be upstaged.

  • Lars Littlefield

    If you lived through the last half of the Soviet era you probably remember such “official” statements and claims as: Baseball was invented in Russia, Russia created rock and roll to to corrupt and bring down Western culture. Latest five-year plan enormous success (despite rampant famine and shortages). I suspect we will be entertained with a new bunch of similar claims as Emperor Trump tries to paint his failures as great successes.

  • The Return of Traxley

    O/T:

    The Christmas spirit in America lasts a little under 16.5 hours.

    This country is degrading at an incredible rate.

    http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2016/12/26/reports-mall-disturbances-light-up-social-media/95859862/

    From the article:

    “Posts on social media showed police with machine guns responding to the food court. Police evacuated the building as a precaution, and hours later there were still long lines waiting for NJ Transit buses as it began to rain.”

    • Rebecca Gardner

      I saw that news this morning and all I could think was WTF!

    • jsmukg

      xmASS in amurrikkka. Holiday cheer and goodwill galore.

      • The Return of Traxley

        And guns, guns, guns.

  • What does he mean? No big stars? They’ve got the Mormon Robot Choir! And who knows. Melania might pose nude with them.

  • thatotherjean

    Liar, liar, pants on fire. No matter how much you polish that turd, it’s still a turd.

  • Ernest Endevor

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahha!!!!!!!!!11!!1

    Bugger, now I’ve frightened the pugs.

  • OdieDenCO

    does this mean donny will not be attending or donny is not a “big star”?

  • Rebecca Gardner

    I didn’t think Trump could legally do what he was doing to dissolve his “Foundation.” Apparently, he can’t. Good. Fuck Him!

    https://twitter.com/ABC/status/813773446517784576

    • BobSF_94117

      “Too much regulation! I can’t divest because they won’t let me!!!!”

  • Charlie

    Not even Wayne Newton, Kenny Rogers or Loretta Lynn (all of whom supported this Orange Cheeto) want to perform???? Did they even ask them? No one wants to be associated with this scam artist, even the ones who may have voted for him.

  • Silver Badger

    Sounds like they’re service sour grapes at the coronation.

  • Slippy_World
    • Natty Enquirer

      Welcome to the Oval Orifice.

    • Chuck in NYC

      LOL. A really good PhotoShop effort would’ve added a shadow on the rug, but that’s a quibble.

      • Uncle Mark

        The women that Trump prefers are so lacking in substance, that they don’t even cast shadows. Anyway we know that Trump is going to be the only one in the Oval Office casting a long dark shadow.

      • William

        In the Trump Oval Office, the eagle’s head will be facing to the right, the same side as the arrows held in its talons.

    • JDS

      Melanoma is to old to do that anymore. She might break a hip. 🙂

  • David

    Alec Baldwin offered to sing Highway to Hell.

  • olandp

    It isn’t about A-list celebrities, it is about Donald Trump, as everything is.

  • geoffalnutt

    Please. It’s not about the inauguration. Guaranteed – no one gives a shit about that anyway. No one. They want the power and money. Period.

  • Bj Lincoln

    I hope that group in Miami pulls off the biggest concert ever! They could pull in the greatest names in music, dance, art and acting. I hope someone writes a song that will stir the hearts of the most hardened Grinches and is sung by all with the same respect as the national anthem. More powerful than ‘The Man in the Mirror’ or ‘We are the World’. I hope the entire country tunes in and causes the lowest number to tune in to the inauguration ever!

    • Kruhn

      Wish they’d held it over by the Lincoln Memorial. The imagery and historic justice would be awesome.

  • Lars Littlefield

    It’s a bit embarrassing when more than one million people show up for Ruby Ibarra Garcia’s quinceanera in a small pueblo in Mexico than the Trump will have at his installment as fascist dictator party. Go Ruby!

  • Natty Enquirer

    Such a bad ligner.

  • Rebecca Gardner

    Speaking of which. Apparently women’s magazines are the only places left in the country still doing journalism.

    A Rockette Speaks Out
    “She felt she was being forced to perform for this monster,” Mary told MarieClaire.com in an exclusive interview. “I wouldn’t feel comfortable standing near a man like that in our costumes,” said another dancer in an email to her colleagues.
    http://www.marieclaire.com/politics/a24421/rockette-donald-trump-inauguration/?src=socialflowTW

    • paganguy

      You just know he’d find some way to ooze into the dressing room while they were changing.

  • DumbHairyApe

    What I find odd is how people can knowingly say stuff like this and convince themselves they mean it. Surely they MUST know they are having to fabricate a lie to explain why they have not really strong talent and A-list stars booked. If you have to lie about such little things, it’s indicative to me that you’ll likely lie about big things too. Or, here, they love their bible:
    Luke 16:10 – One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much.

    • Joe in PA

      What I find odd is how people can knowingly say stuff like this and convince themselves they mean it.….

      Really? We’ve seen this for the past year or more. From Fox News to KellyAnne, Reince, you name it. They really do NOT have shame.

    • Kruhn

      Funny, that’s the ending of a parable that describes Trump to a “T”

  • CA2016

    Well, that’s just a lie.

  • Bluto

    Trump wants the little people at his coronation, which is why Uday & Queasy are selling tickets at a million dollars a pop.

  • dcurlee

    Just another lir

  • What? Scott Baio is unavailable. Someone needs to put that boy in a sling!

  • GayOldLady

    Hahahahaha! He’s so toxic he can’t even buy a celebrity to perform. Maybe it’s because they already know, The bastard is going to kill us all.

  • Lazycrockett

    Remember it being all about the people when over 1 million people show up to protest you winning this rigged election.

  • Ninja0980

    In other words, we can’t get any.

  • Fifth-and-a-Half Element
    • edrex

      or in any other grade.

      • Mikey

        he couldn’t pay attention.. he didn’t make it to those grades.

        • paganguy

          ah.. those grades were probably sour too. ok.. so that was a stretch… but still

    • TrollopeReader

      edicatishun is soooo overated!

  • Gustav2

    ROTFLMAO!

  • Duh-David

    “I didn’t wamma be picked fo dodgeball, ammyways, tupidheads”

  • Blake J Butler
    • JD

      Look at that kid’s hair…10 years old and they’re slicking it back like his older brothers…the whole family hair thing designed to make his father’s hair lok less ridiculous (hah). Poor kid.

      • charemor

        One could almost feel sorry for that 10 year old kid, but he will probably grow up to be just as nasty and obnoxious as his brothers.

    • edrex

      nepotism gone awry.

    • paganguy

      Please in the name of all that is good and true, tell me that is Photoshopped. I’m begging you.

      • Oh’behr

        I know. I rarely judge other people, yet that family is very messed up. That photo of the Trump family gives me the creeps. That just isn’t correct behavior between a mother and her son. Yikes.

    • The_Wretched

      Is that Baron? If so, it’s ok. Melania isn’t his mom; she’s an unrelated model/escort/nurse. Ivanka is mommy.

  • Gigi

    Trump Adviser Boris Epshteyn: We Won’t Have Big Stars At The Inauguration Because We Don’t Have Any

  • Gustav2

    “You know, this is not Woodstock. It’s not Summer Jam.” So no liberals or African Americans allowed?

    Man, they really hate the the late 1960’s and early 1970’s don’t they? Would they feel better if we told the White Christianists their invitations to the Summer of Love was in the mail?

    • David Walker

      Right. Woodstock was a celebration of love and incredibly good music. The late ’60s was also a time when drumpf and the future chicken hawks scrambled for deferments and were rich enough to get them. “Which foot was that spur on?” “I don’t know…look it up.”

      • Gustav2

        These dog whistles need to be explained to the youngsters. He just slammed the hippie [email protected] with long hair and the n*ggers, in certain parts of the country they hear that loud and clear.

  • boatboy_srq

    Those grapes; they are SOOOO sour.

    • paganguy

      My first thought exactly. I’m glad I scrolled down before posting it. 🙂

  • Clive Johnson

    There are a few Trump supporting celebrity deplorables on standby to MAGA. Don’t forget Tila Tequila [edit: Apologies for the small pic. In it she sports a swastika armband and is standing outside of Auschwitz]:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/aa91940a76d55ad9557705c568a575616b5f1b9e22813bb0cc7f0fdfb6a49bcc.jpg

    • Gene

      that the talent deprived skank is a member of an ethnic group the NAZIs would have killed would never occur to the kind of mind that would support Trump seems fitting somehow

    • William

      I hope she gets hit by a train.

      • Clive Johnson

        She’s so awful…

  • Paula

    Nyah, nyah, I didn’t want to be your friend anyway.

  • abqdan

    Trump will hate this. And sadly, I can easily see our president-elect sitting fuming at his keyboard, trying to figure out how to get revenge against the celebs, instead of figuring out how to run our country….

    • boatboy_srq

      You misspelled “ruin”.

      • paganguy

        Oh… I think he’s got that part figured out already.

  • Larry in Oklahoma

    Brian, read an Aesop’s Fable where the wolf tried to get the grapes but could not reach them. When he gave up, he bitched “I thought those grapes were ripe, but I see now they are quite sour.” See? We know this story all too well.

    • Friday

      (it was a fox. 🙂 )

      • TrollopeReader

        but the wolf thought the boy quite tasty !

  • edrex

    looks to me like you have the perfect line up for your demographic, many of whom need to be home by 9:00 PM to enjoy an evening of cuckholding evidently.

  • Kruhn

    Two points to consider:

    First, you know this is a distraction for something bigger and nastier that Fearless Leader is trying to hide in plain sight.

    Second, you know he’s going to claim that more people went to his Inauguration than Obama’s to try to slip something else through.

    • Andymac3

      Will he have a pile of bills to sign with him from Congress so that he can shout them out on live tv? Obama care repeal, signed! Social Security privatize, signed! Limit abortion, signed! Protection of marriage, signed!

  • Acronym Jim

    I thought that 80’s cover band was also performing.

    And Epshteyn seems to be trying to live up to his high school nickname: “Bore us.”

  • marshlc

    And, they’re probably sour anyway.

  • GayOldLady

    “So far the only confirmed performers are the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, the Rockettes”

    So, is the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing while the Rockettes are dancing? I have to see that!!

    • Guess?

      In the Inauguration Untucked Edition, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir gets pegged by the Rockettes!

    • William

      Their rendition of ‘Disco Inferno’ will leave you gasping.

  • KQCA

    We have left the Age of Aquarius, passed through the Twilight Zone, and are now entering the era of Nothing Is As It Seems.

    • I never like the story “Alice in Wonderland”, but we seem to be trapped within its pages. Cheetolini of course is the Red Queen.

  • karmanot

    If Epshteyn were any oilier he could dress a salad… SAD..as they say in Trump land.

    • TrollopeReader

      that, or be a sardine can.

  • NO MORE GOP!

    Spin, spin, spin. Spin away, little man.

  • Bomer

    Riiiight, the orange megalomaniac does’t want the A-listers to attend. And I’ve got swamp land in Nevada for sale.

    • Really? I’d like some swamp land! Sign me up!

      • TrollopeReader

        probably where Lake Tahoe used to be!!

  • mikeinrkfd

    Of course who knows, celebrities might steal some of tRumps thunder and you know he couldn’t stand for that.

  • ByronK

    Even those dancing fountains told them to fuck off.

  • Nowhereman

    I call bullpuckey. I’d like to see the list of A Listers who have been turned down by the Trump party planners. I hope that the alternate party eclipses all their plans.

  • Mikey

    5th place runner up, no less.

  • DesertSun59

    Remember, folks. Herr Trumpenfuhrer has assured us he ONLY knows the best people.

  • DaddyRay

    Come on guys, there already are going to be plenty of clowns – what more do you need

    • TrollopeReader

      Judy Collins??

  • William

    Is Boris still a Russian citizen?

    Trick question. Once a Russian citizen, always a Russian citizen.

  • Trump’s camp claiming they didn’t want any A list stars to perform reminds me of Aesop’s Fable, “The Fox and Grapes”.

  • Rob

    Again I ask, WHERE IS CHACHI? He could do his “Wa wa wa” thing. It’d be Yuuuge.

  • NickGraham

    Yeah sure, they “don’t want” celebrity performers. Hilariously transparent bullshit that no one could possibly take seriously.

  • JDS

    So does that mean Drumphf & Melanoma are going to invite the “little” people to this event. Methinks not.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bbfc283e24f485fb87260de48629597f9e3c370546c4e45ae1aa20842f3ffa7d.gif

  • Librarykid

    RE: Boris. Is that a pisk that could use a frosk?

  • Mike

    And what’s for dessert? Sour grapes!

  • Boris? ffs, Boris???

    let’s just raise the red flag and the sign of the house of Vlad and be done with it, Comrades. i’ve always like the Red Army Choir anyways, grew up on them as a red diaper baby.

    • TrollopeReader

      isn’t that the group that crashed in the black sea the other day ??

  • John Kusters

    I am reminded of a child’s retort when told they can’t have something they wanted. “Well I didn’t want your dumb stuff in the first place, so there.”

  • Mow

    Miss Otis regrets she’s unable to lunch today..

  • Mark Guilford

    They must have heard of how he follows through on paying for services rendered.

    Maybe the Freedom Girls will take a check–or another empty promise?

  • JCF

    How’s the planning going for the Alterna-naugural? This HAS to happen! [And just imagine if Hillary made an appearance!]

  • Gianni

    If true, Trump wouldn’t want any A-list celebrities simply because he won’t take the chance that they might take away his shine. More believable: No A-list celebs because you couldn’t get any!

  • John Kirk

    Wasn’t he going to parachute from a helicopter dressed as Superman or something?

    • Gil

      That would be Kellyanne…

  • fuzzybits
  • Chrissa

    All you who wanted Trump for President, please contact Boris Epshteyn if you have musical talent. He needs to book your services! A great way to serve your country. LOL

  • Peter Wong

    Suuurrreee the Trump inauguration ceremony is “about the people,” Epshteyn. Just the people who live in McMansions and have tax havens in the Cayman Islands.

  • Chrissa

    I call this the “cat complex” — you know how cats fall asleep, then fall off a window ledge or piece of furniture? Then they look at you with a “I MEANT to do that” look..

  • John Kirk

    Whatever happened to Pussy Riot? I’m sure they would take the stage, love to make some loud noises, and then squat and take a shit!

  • How perfect is it that a President-Elect known to have a soft spot for Mother Russia has a spokesperson named Boris who looks like a fucking Bond villain? This guy is SUCH a douchebag.

  • JellyDonut

    HAHAHAHA we all know better than that…At least the GOP is consistent – they lie every time!

  • WretchedMouse

    Pffft. They are just millionaires. We don’t won’t poor famous people showing up! /s

  • paulmsmith

    Lying Bastard…The Trumps made serious invites to the biggest stars alive for their upcoming inauguration. … assuming that they would jump at the opportunity. WEELLL, not so fast!. …after being turned down by one right after the other, suddenly having big named stars at the inauguration wasn’t a priority after all. “We don’t want any” says Boris Epshteyn.