Breitbart: Mock Your Liberal Friends And Family With Our “Precious Snowflake” Christmas Ornament

Breitbart is encouraging their readers to sow familial disharmony over the holidays with a mocking Christmas ornament. Here’s the pitch: “We could not offer therapy dogs or cry-ins. That being said, nothing says You’re Precious quite like Breitbart’s first ever Snowflake Tree Ornament. Crafted with love in the USA, these snowflakes will NOT melt, even if the recipients do.” This physical embodiment of assholery sells for $5.99.

  • Sam_Handwich

    if someone gives me one of those i’ll gouge their eyes out with it

    • BobSF_94117

      If you really want to hurt them, tell them you gave their Christmas gift to a women’s shelter, preferably one that serves illegal aliens.

      • Sam_Handwich

        ok, but only after the gouging

        • Todd20036

          You gougaphile!

          • Christopher

            Some of us just can’t help ourselves. 😉

      • paganguy

        Or homeless LGBTQ teens.

        • Gustav2

          Or Planned Parenthood.

      • KCMC

        my dear evangelical family have received cards that gifts in their names went to girls school in Pakistan.

        • Chucktech

          Assuming they had at least a vestigial heartbeat, they might approve of that. I would have given cards that gifts in their names went to Planned Parenthood.

      • Daveed_WOW

        I’m giving Planned Parenthood money in my niece’s name instead of buying toys for her daughters. Hint. Hint.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      It’s like they’re masochistic and want a beat down.

    • Christopher

      Spit them open and feed them their own intestines! It’s better to give than to receive after all.

      It’ll be an Xmas miracle if I don’t make at least one person cry this year.

    • Marti386

      I was gonna say they’d be having a surgeon remove it from their lower intestine, but same idea. 😛

  • bkmn

    How to get yourself kicked out of your family.

    • KCMC

      again. and again.

  • PickyPecker
    • Chucktech

      LOL! Of course!

  • Paula

    That’s fine. Let them send me a dozen. They will all end up in the trash or hanging in my apple trees to keep the birds away, This is like pouring out Starbucks coffee to teach Starbucks a lesson.

    • William

      It would be tragic if any of those ornaments ended up the givers tires.

      • Paula

        I like the way you think! 😉

        • Todd20036

          Or just regift them… to the same relatives… next year.

          With a Happy Solstice card.

          • Paula

            Can they be coated with LSD before you send them?

          • Ragnar Lothbrok

            or Rat Piss

          • cleos_mom

            Or is there a way to keep poison ivy fresh until December? If so, you could rub the ornaments with the leaves.

            Just for ‘good luck’, mind you. It’s an old tradition, centuries older than those silly pickle ornaments that someone tried to make a thing a few decades back.

          • Todd20036

            Waste of good acid

            How about bath salts?

          • Chucktech

            Or just regift them… to the same relatives… next year.

            Great idea! Especially if Trump manages to trash the United States by then.

            “How’s that “precious snowflake” crap working out for ya?”

    • KCMC

      my TX mother hangs old cds in her trees, kinda pretty when sun hits.

      • Paula

        I do that too. 😉

  • William

    I’m sure Breitbarters will love the dog turds they receive.

  • Gustav2

    It truly is in the spirit of the season.

    Just like screaming at the Walmart cashier for not saying “Merry Christmas!”

    • Todd20036

      If those websites of the People of Walmart are accurate, I’ll never (or almost never) go into that big box store

      • William

        Walmart is a modern day freak show, and it’s free!

        • Todd20036

          That’s still overpriced.

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    You KNOW that the same assholes who smugly give out shit like this will inevitably be on the doorstep of the same relative they dissed if they get into huge financial trouble through an accident or some other misadventure, mewing “How dare you refuse my plea for help! We’re blood. You’re supposed to forgive the fact that I did the equivalent of pooping on you at every holiday dinner!”

    • Todd20036

      To which I’d say. We are biological family, not logical family.

      Piss off.

      Pretty much what I would tell my older sister.r

      • Ninja0980

        Would do the same thing with my Trump supporting Aunt and Uncle and my Bernie or Bust cousin.
        Don’t expect help from me when you’ve shown you don’t care what happens to me.

        • bambinoitaliano

          Not even wasting my money on lump of coals with this people.

      • Chucktech

        That’s just how I feel about my fat and ugly sister.

      • Ray Taylor

        Thank you.

      • Paul David

        The above is something that we gay men, or at least this one, learn much too late in life.

        • I have always been VERY selective and deleting people as LESS (pettiness and shame based behaviors) is MORE (enriching and life extending)…however I do agree that many gay men have not learned this lesson and it truly impacts their lives in many cases in a negative manner.

          • Paul David

            Don’t I know….

      • Scott Carpenter

        Yesterday I told my family I’m not leaving California to go to Utah to visit – Southern Utah isn’t a safe place for a gay man with an empowered Nazi and Klan base on the loose. If they want to see me, they can drive out here. And if they voted for Trump they can book a hotel and entertain themselves, because I’m not interested in spending any time with them.
        No Magic Mountain trips in their future.

        • Robincho

          The sweet babboo and I spent a week one day in St. George and I can’t think when I’ve felt so uneasy. Even stupid stuff like a trip to the 7-11 filled me with a nameless sort of dread.
          We were headed to Vegas, and couldn’t get there speedily enough. Ick…

          • Scott Carpenter

            And St. George is where all my family lives. I already know my (moralizing, self-righteous, especially my mother who has a list of “totally unacceptable” things longer than I am tall) parents voted for the Rapist in Chief. They’re the primary reason I sent the text telling them all not to expect me ever again. I included everyone else as a just-in-case.

    • That_Looks_Delicious

      Doorstep? Most of the Breitbart commenters are probably living in their parents’ basements.

      • karmanot

        I didn’t know double-wide’s had basements!

        • Moebym of the Resistance

          If the pizza place can have a basement, so can a double-wide!

          • MonochromeMouse

            It just disappears whenever someone looks for it.

          • Moebym of the Resistance

            Like the dragon in my garage is invisible.

        • Junior Minty
        • Octoberfurst

          Technically no, but if you did a big ditch under one wouldn’t that count as a basement? “It’s my man cave honey!”

          • karmanot

            “a big ditch under one” Waaa, son, that’s what we call a two-fer!

    • The Professor

      Darwin. They spend their money on repulsive shit like this and suddenly realize their insurance now costs $1300/month thanks to the despot they helped elect and the Congress lapping its chops to bankrupt them.

      • Paul David

        They deserve everything they voted for.

        • MonochromeMouse

          They do, but we don’t.

          • Octoberfurst

            That’s the problem. We get dragged down with them! If there was only a way THEY would suffer for their stupidity and not us that would be wonderful.

          • MonochromeMouse

            You can make them face social consequences, cut ties to all trump voters, if you own a business fire them, if you see a car with a trump sticker on it key it or park too close to it and open your door real hard, if you see someone outside who still has a trump sign in their yard as you drive by roll down your window and let them know fascists aren’t welcome in America. We as a society need to push these monsters back into hiding so that they will be too afraid to speak or vote their true opinions ever again.

        • Michael Abbett

          They deserve worse.

      • gothambear

        Wait what insurance? It will vanish along with their dignity and smugness when they are wallowing in their own filth since they can’t get healthcare…just sayin’

    • Daveed_WOW

      Abuse followed quickly by pleas that we’re “family”. I swear some people take out all of their misery on their “loved ones”. It’s sick.

    • cleos_mom

      Siblings under the skin to parents who devote all their attention to the irresponsible brat in the family but will show up at the door of one of their neglected children as soon as they suffer a financial or health reverse.

      People with parents like that would do well to move as far away as possible as soon as they turn 18, and confine their communication to ritual holiday greetings.

    • Guest

      Well, at least they got “you’re” right. That is progress for the right.

    • KQCA

      This is so perfect. I’ve taken care of (and been cleaned out by) my born-again Christian relatives. This year I’m giving myself a gift out of necessity; no longer will I be traveling to submit myself to their ridicule and condemnation. Let them stew. I don’t need to taste it.

      • Todd20036

        Great. Now I crave stew

      • Michael Abbett

        We did that, too. And Thanksgiving at home without a 500 mile trip to the hubby’s relatives was sweet for a change.

      • Piercedchrlz

        We’ve booked a silent retreat beginning Monday and lasts till after Christmas.

    • Gerry Fisher

      They think that politics is as trivial as a football game. Wear your favorite colors, your team colors. Shout for blood. Boo your opponent mercilessly and taunt them. And celebrate with victory dances in their faces after you win.

      We, on the other hand, are on a civic mission. We’d like to see more people with health care, fiscal restraint (yes, Virginia, the deficit fares better under Democrats), an end to discrimination, sensible regulation that protects people and important things like “the global economy,” progress on climate change, a reduction in human suffering, and leaders whom our children can emulate.

      They’re playing a game. We’re trying to improve a country and take care of people.

      • CottonBlimp

        This is the single biggest problem with our voting public right now; the majority of eligible voters simply lack the intelligence or maturity to vote for actual issues.

    • Michael Abbett

      I have a brother in Kentucky who hates Obama and used to run to me and other liberal members of the family every time he screwed his life up, usually with drugs, and needed help. Then he had a heart attack and had to be flown by lifeline to a nearby hospital. The bill for the flight alone, not counting the stents and other medial care he received, was over $40K, all paid for since he was indigent and had Medicaid. Last I heard he was on Kynect, Kentucky’s version of Obamacare. And he voted for Trump. Life has been so much more predictable and peaceful since I cut him off and no longer have any contact with him. Some people can’t be helped.

      • Skeptical_Inquirer

        Wow, I think that’s a wise decision to cut off contact because it seems that many people can’t learn until they hit rock bottom, if there is one. I think people like your brother is unfortunately rather common.

      • Octoberfurst

        Did he vote for the right-wing Governor who promised to eliminate Kynect? I hope he wasn’t dumb enough to do that but I read a story in the NYT about idiots who lost their Kynect because they voted for Bevin.
        Oh by the way I too have a family member who is chronically unemployed basically due to laziness and lives on welfare but he is a proud GOP voter! He thinks that too many people are living off the government teat. But he DESERVES his benefits. You really can’t reason with stupid.

    • Jerry

      And you also know that, with Trump, another financial meltdown is coming, and the affect will be worse for his supporters, who will also have less of a safety net to rely on when it happens.

  • Michael R

    They have to sell something because the advertisers are going bye bye .

    • now that is the TRUTH…

      I do not know why Breitbart thought Kellogg’s and others would GIVE an ounce of care of them boycotting them when they are STILL eating their products…but they are putting up a damn good front online…

      • They never stopped eating Kellogg cereals, stopped drinking Starbucks nor shopping at Target. Extreme righty tighties are all noise. However, the evil beings they vote in are very dangerous.

        • Nychta

          Hi biki – nice holiday avatar!

      • Kim K’s Kute Koochy✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

        lol they protested Starbucks by ordering coffee fr Starbucks gotta be the most hilarious thing LOL

    • vorpal

      We should return their “gifts” with neutral ornaments with a big “HAPPY HOLIDAYS!” carved into them.

      • Bj Lincoln

        Love it!

      • zhera

        Hey, did you get my e-mail?

        • vorpal

          I did! Sorry for not responding yet… last couple of days have been very distracting. I’ll write you back today!

  • BobSF_94117

    What’s bizarre about this whole thing is that they complain that we’re all about emotions and feelings…

    • David

      I know. How dare we have compassion and other human emotions.
      It’s really, really bizare.

      • Chucktech

        Especially during the Yuletide season…

    • Ragnar Lothbrok

      And what motivated their votes this year ?
      Not analytical thought – Pure emotion.

      • Chucktech

        Mixed with stupidity and hate.

    • Stephen Elliot Phillips

      well….to be honest theres only two emotions buttbarters know:
      Anger and rage

      • Chucktech

        It’s called primitive lower brain responses.

  • Skip Intro

    The sore winners are at it again.

    • Chucktech

      Of course they’re sore. They know. They know damn good and well, deep down inside, what they’ve done.

  • PickyPecker

    Just more cheap, plastic hate from BriteFart. Nothing new to see here.

  • Helen in Ireland

    I’m a snowflake. Beautiful, unique and I melt to give life-giving water.

  • Jay Silversmith

    That puny snowflake is nothing compared to my heat-seeking missile tree topper for sale on progressive websites. It specifically targets members of the gop, freedom caucus, tea baggers, heritage foundationists, norquist worshipers and any other neanderthals in proximity.

  • Neon Maniac

    Nothing says “Special Snowflake” like being unable to accept truth, news or science unless it’s filtered through Breitbart and Info Wars.

    • Chucktech

      3D Imax projection with these good, ‘Murikin citizens. And what a thoughtful and caring gift for a “loved” one at Christmas.

    • Michael Abbett

      The Atlantic is too cerebral for them. For that matter, so is the National Enquirer.

  • The right excels at taking a notion that might (or might not) be faintly amusing, repeating it endlessly, beating it to death, and yet acting as though it remains hilarious and the height of wit on its 8 millionth utterance. It’s only exceeded by their ability to embody that same criticism themselves. Because there is no more delicate a snowflake than a Trump supporter even slightly insulted, except for Trump himself.

    • Skokieguy [Larry]

      Because their side doesn’t have the intellect or self esteem to quickly judge something new and know if its “us or them”. That’s why its easy to trot out old tired memes and secure ways of generating the desired response.

      You can see it at Trump rallies, when he says something new, there is an awkward hesitation in the audience and a few people might shout or or clap and then the rest heartily join in. Its as if their reptilian brains aren’t quite sure if its a good or bad thing being said. But ‘lock her up’ or ‘build a wall’ they can confidently join in without realizing they are too stupid to be challenged by new thoughts or ideas.

      • Chucktech

        Little things amuse little minds, don’t they?

    • Jerry

      That’s how their “news” sources work…bounce the same idea, edited video, or conspiracy theory around the the echo chamber ad naseum, until it forces the GOP congressmen to have hearings and official investigations on something that’s utterly ridiculous.

  • PickyPecker
  • olandp

    Is there anything as precious and fragile as a Breitbart true believer?

  • Oikos

    Any family member who would give me this would be cut off from every aspect of my life permanently.

    • Todd20036

      Yeah, it’s not like they really care about how you would feel anyway if they gave you this

      • Oikos

        The last few years I have tolerated no dissent as the hate from RWs grew more vitriolic. I have told a few family members that when I lose my insurance due to their votes for republicans, they are persona non grata for good. I had one relative tell me I was being childish after I told her this. My reply: ‘You should have thought of that when you were voting for monsters.’

        • Todd20036

          Indeed. There is an outside chance that Trump/Pence could build “reeducation camps” to “fix” gay people. You really think your family will give a crap if that happens?

          • Oikos

            Nope.

        • Stephen Elliot Phillips

          My partner and I cancelled the holiday trip home to visit our folks.
          Tensions are high and we are standing firm together in our effort to show them all a cold shoulder this season.
          Our families screwed us. So we say screw them.

          • Christopher

            Well, since you saved all of that money on travel I have a few things on my Xmas list.

            1) Sharp stabby things. (Not picky. Just make it shiny.)

            2) Shovels (For the moat I’m going to dig! You buying that excuse?)

            And most importantly…

            3) Peace on Earth. (With or without the nuclear winter. Your choice.)

          • karmanot

            I’m saving up for a pink Glock and a walker with a grenade launcher.

          • Michael Abbett

            Now there’s a catalog I’d subscribe to.

        • Joe in PA

          They called YOU childish? Good grief, the irony. Look at who they voted for. I hate people.

          OT, but related to you: the township just came by with the snowplow (a whopping .2″ snow, but still). Winter has arrived. 🙂

          • Oikos

            Just finished snowblowing about 5″ of the stuff.

    • ColdCountry

      Seriously. Anyone who would think this is funny is not someone I’d want in my family. I’d be tempted to grind it up and mix it in an ex-lax brownie for them.

    • ByronK

      And they would have to seek medical attention to have it removed from a certain orifice.

    • Ragnar Lothbrok

      I have a nephew who is just months younger than me. We were quite close.
      He managed to make a smart deal on some land, ( which should be a state park imo ) split it up for housing and made a small fortune.
      His parents sacrificed a LOT for the boy and had to ask him for some financial help recently. He said no.

      Even then, they threw a surprise milestone Bday for him and invited me too. I said no.

      • stuckinthewoods

        Here’s wishing they get to throw him a surprise headstone party for him soon.

        • Guest

          Careful. This goes against Joe’s rules. Then again, for some here, consequences never occur.

          • stuckinthewoods

            I’ll rely on Joe’s discretion to censure comments he finds unacceptable.

    • Treant

      This. But not until after I find out if it can be used as a throwing star.

      • Oikos

        Add it to their figgy pudding.

      • Chucktech

        That shitty little piece of pot metal?? Pfft…

  • Clive Johnson

    In return just give them this Gold Elite Trump Supporter Membership Card:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9e60676f6f55383a12f7944a287d6403e5b6c19c873f871a30c4b009e024c235.jpg

  • Fire With Fire

    Oh look! Swastika-shaped snowflakes from Breitbart Fascists, Inc.!

  • ChrisSSSSS

    Conservative Asshole: “Merry Christmas you precious fragile snowflake hahahaha”
    Liberal: “Happy Holidays”
    Conservative Asshole:*cries like a baby*

  • And who but a neo-fascist would even think of something like this?

  • bobbyjoe

    All those libtard special snowflakes getting their precious little feelings hurt all the time over… hey, look– the new Star Wars movie has one of them wimmen as the lead…

    …and, ohmigod, OH.MY.GOD– a lot of the cast is NOT white. I am absolutely so offended. This is just… I mean, this is SUCH an insult. I just… and words fail me, I am SO upset by this!!!!411!!!!!1111 Protest!!!! Boycott!!!!!

    Why is it that no one ever, ever… and I do mean EVER…. pays any attention to white men?????444111!!!!!!!!!!

  • Charlie

    meanwhile their leader is about as thin-skinned as they come…

  • Oikos

    Cthulhu is the reason for the season.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B5kDDJ-CMAAPfdl.jpg

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    I think friends and family should send them an ornament saying “I’m cutting you out of my will!”

  • another_steve

    I suggest that all Breitbarters buy them and insert them where the sun don’t shine.

  • greenmanTN

    If that’s the best they’ve got they’re going to have a work a lot harder to get under my skin because that doesn’t even register on my outrage scale.

    http://m.quickmeme.com/img/a9/a97aa94e347ab8a0a92dd8a4fa21c28118fa77c8ca563b67d20a4081b1e6e561.jpg

    OT, but I’m not doing any decorating this year (I usually don’t so this is nothing new) but I did make a wreath out of wild grape vines I pulled out of the trees in my yard as a gift for a friend. That is the sole extent of my Christmas spirit. He said he liked it but might just be saying that. What else is he going to say, “Ewww”?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/63bf98cacbeb85ba34de8e6c9219fa8a14b20548a83925dead371a670d146701.jpg

    • PickyPecker

      Nicely done! Very pretty.

      • greenmanTN

        Thanks. I guess my inner Martha was just dying to be let out that day. Plus I needed a quickie present because he said he’d gotten me something. I kind of hate it when that happens. “Shit. Now I have to get you something!”

    • KCMC

      Martha says yes to metallics winter holiday. More light.

      • greenmanTN

        Not my best work, but it was there, so…

        I was kind of thinking about making a fife sized wicker man sculpture for the yard out of honeysuckle and grape vines though and give the neighbors something to talk about. “There he goes again…” *shakes head*

        http://news.images.itv.com/image/file/438445/image_update_img.jpg

        • Acronym Jim

          That’s a pretty elaborate fife. I can only imagine where you blow into it to make it sing.

          http://www.treasuregurus.com/images/detailed/0/OT-FIFE.jpg

          • greenmanTN
          • greenmanTN

            It took me a while to get that.

            You should have just said “Yo, doofus, you misspelled life!” 😁

            Since I am not a 10 year old Asian-American girl my spelling really sucks sometimes. I often look it up but sometimes I don’t, and my attitude is “Ah fuck it, let it fly” they’ll know what you mean in context.

            💋

          • Chucktech

            Spellcheck would definitely not have caught this…

        • Jerry

          And fire it up on the solstice…to celebrate the original holiday.

    • stuckinthewoods

      That’s really wonderful. My first partner could do that too, take grapevines and honeysuckle and suddenly it was a basket or wreath. Thanks for reviving a memory.

  • ColdCountry

    That’s as hilarious as the fake vomit on the dinner table! Or the plastic dog shit under the tree! It is so funny, I’m just rolling on the floor laughing!

    Oh, and your gift, was a donation to Planned Parenthood. The last “gift” you will ever receive.

  • tcinsf

    Nothing says “celebrate the birth of the savior” quite like being a complete c–t.

    • ByronK

      Reminds me of one of my favourite cards: Outside – “Jesus Loves You!”
      Inside – “The rest of us think you’re a c–t.”

  • ByronK

    There’s nothing quite like using “The Birth of Our Lord Jesus Christ™” as an opportunity to mock and disrespect others. And all this time I thought they were the warriors fighting to preserve and celebrate the true meaning of Christmas. Snort.

    • Paula

      The irony of their actions escape them completely.

      • ByronK

        As most things do.

      • Stephen Elliot Phillips

        For the irony not to escape them they would have to have a smidgen of critical thinking skills……

        • Cuberly

          …vs a brain filled with toxic useless memes and faux outrages.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      They don’t worship the brown immigrant, conceived out of wedlock, itinerant preacher who used to be carpenter/laborer who healed the sick and fed people for free. They want a Trump version of Jesus: prosperity gospel spewing, Aryan CEO limo riding, gun & violence loving who will laugh as you die in the streets.

  • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild

    Please. We stopped talking to those assholes at Thanksgiving. There’s no way we’re even going to be in the same room as them at x-mas.

  • Skokieguy [Larry]

    Should our side come out with our own line of ornaments?

    STUPID AND PROUD

    I’m Not Informed and I VOTE

    Frightened by people who look or sound different than me – Like Jesus!

    I vote to increase inequality – the American way!

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    This is why I’m so tired of kumbaya articles. Most people know their family better than those article writers whose family is probably a bit more functional & polite. The one true mistake I see people make in advice columns is not cutting off people who were toxic YEARS ago. I’m not kidding.

  • greenmanTN

    Eh. I will admit to a little gloating in the past when they lost, so sauce for the goose…

    It’s the legislative crap I’m worried about.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      I never gloated. I was just relieved that we weren’t getting more terms of George W. type incompetence.

  • we’re still here

    And the holidays are all about giving. Imagine seeing their little fascist faces light up when you hand them their nazi balls .. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d0a1aa0fe32b37a9ada000127443a70e516405cc635c3830c3280934eb8f3ed3.jpg

    • Stephen Elliot Phillips

      ever see an alt-righter cream his fatigues? buy him some of those balls and you will

      • Bob Conti

        Give your male alt-righters these balls, since he lacks any of his own.

      • Robincho

        Alt-Rite KamoKreem™ — ask your Wallmartyrs for some today!…

      • stuckinthewoods

        We’re atheist but husband is an ornament collector and said those would cost a bundle. No alt-righter would be worth it.

        • Guest

          Small request please. We had a Florida bought ornament from the 50’s with Santa on a stork. If it moved, the wings would flap and Santa would move its head. Any idea where I can see it in all newness? Any idea where I could get one. I used to hit it as a tiny kid and destroyed it. I have the pieces my 20 year plus, now gone mom (and dad) taped and re-taped together. It still goes on the tree, sitting on a branch instead of hanging. Please ask him. I cannot even find one in pictures to look at online

    • KCMC
    • Guest

      We need to see this Photoshopped with the Trump T as the swastikas. Hey, someone can make millions selling that Trump T swastika to them. Trump would love it.

  • These are the people who will have a fucking meltdown if you dare say “Happy Holidays.” Who’s the one that needs a precious safe space insulated from competing ideas?

    • Oikos

      I’ve said that to a lot of people this year just to see their response. So far no one has flinched.

      • Ninja0980

        Same here.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      I think they need all their phrases spewed back at them. When they get mad about people saying stuff to them, call them “Awww, aren’t you a bunch of special snowflakes who need a poo wittle safe space because people think your pussy was grabbed by Trump? And hey, isn’t it great Rogue One is number one at the box office!”

    • Gigi

      Or if you say, “I’m a spiritual person.” Their response, “BUT ARE YOU A CHRISTIAN? HAVE YOU ACCEPTED JESUS CHRIST AS YOUR ONE AND TRUE SAVIOR?!?!?!?”

      • cleos_mom

        Try asking them who or what they’ve been ‘saved’ from and respond to their reply with “really?”

  • Acronym Jim

    I’m surprised they spelled “you’re” correctly. Trump must not have had any input in the design.

    • Lee Grupsmith-Pedersen

      It’s still incorrect. “You’re Precious, Love Breitbart.” What if I don’t WANT to love Breitbart? It SHOULD be “You’re Precious. Love, Breitbart.” Still wouldn’t put it on my tree.

    • Robincho

      I’m beyond surprised. I’m in shock. This is absolutely unpresidented…

  • Gigi

    Dear Breitbart: The most fragile and precious snowflake in America is your leader, Herr Trump. He has 200 meltdowns per day, and he posts them on Twitter for the entire world to see. My 8-year-old niece behaves better that DJT.

    • greenmanTN

      He’s up at 3 in the morning tweeting about his “enemies” for things that happened 20 years ago, but I’M the pansy?!

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    I’ve been seeing quite a few articles that say that blue states, especially ones doing well financially, will be in the best shape. The blue voters inside the states will be motivated to protect and VOTE for measures to protect themselves. The strategy suggested is to take that stupid mantra of state’s rights and go “Ok, fine, this state is taking that constitutional right you CONSTANTLY bleat about and do what needs doing! Now fuck off!”

    It’s the red states where the people inside will be flailing like fuck.

    • Chucktech

      Please, sweet dead Jesus, make it so.

  • Someone elsewhere mentioned that snowflakes are great. They’re soft, beautiful, and each one is unique. But when they come together they freeze and become hard and stronger together. Until things get better and warm up, and they release in a flood.

  • Tom Chicago

    Hardly surprising to watch an object of beauty being turned into a cheesy, money-grubbing misrepresentation by what will become the House Organ of the new administration.

  • Happy_Housewife

    It looks like something you’d see in the Harriett Carter catalog, right down to the schmaltzy message. If someone gave me one, I’d thank them sincerely, then put it in the Goodwill box.

  • William

    How about a nice “Happy Holidays from the Lizard People” ornament for that Infowars fan?

  • 2patricius2

    Ah, yes. Precious snowflakes. The right wingers who melt into rage when anyone confronts them, laughs at them, etc. The first one to send a precious snowflake to is Donald Drumpf.

  • dcurlee

    Their Christian ways are so uplifting

  • OdieDenCO

    made in “Jina” no doubt.

    • cleos_mom

      Or maybe the country formerly known as South Korea, which is now to be referred to as “Gertrude.”

  • Gene

    how odd….
    a racist, bigoted, xenophobic great uncle who was SOOOO happy with Trumps victory just called last night asking if I could “help” with some Christmas costs.

    he asked me..the liberal democrat Clinton supporter to help him pay for presents for his lay about useless conservative grandkids.

    I told him what a failure he and his are in every way…that I hope they enjoy their bigotry, and they they can collectively enjoy the doom they have brought on themselves. And that they can all collectively go and fuck themselves…not to contact me again..ever. and…of course, to have very happy white trash Chiistmas. no ornament was required.

    good riddance

    • Ninja0980

      I would have called him a lazy moocher to boot.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      I’ve been trying to check out Hillbilly Elegy from the library but there’s literally dozens of holds on it.

      • Moebym of the Resistance

        There were over one hundred holds when I wanted to check it out.

    • Chucktech

      Good on you, Gene, I’m sure that must have been cathartic for you.

      • Gene

        it was…truly, it was.
        alas, sadly, this is hard for me. My clan (we really ARE Hatfields, and my cousins really ARE McCoys) are huge, tight, and we normally stick together through thick and thin. but, it was the honest…and right thing to do.

    • Moebym of the Resistance

      Funny how so many conservatives who call progressives useless, lazy, layabouts are themselves useless, lazy, layabouts, but don’t see the hypocrisy.

    • trouble94114

      I recently heard of a similar story from a good friend. His Trump supporting Uncle called to see if he could ship off his 24 year old heroin addicted daughter, completely across country and have my friend provide food and shelter while she went through an unspecified outpatient treatment program.

      Knowing my friend as I do, I have no doubt words were NOT minced. I believe there were several cellphone towers that burst into flames about the same time as he received the call.

  • Michael

    Now I understand why someone called me “snowflake” in a tweet the other day. They’re right. I AM precious.

  • Nowhereman

    If someone gave me one of these, I would hand it right back to them. Or maybe throw it at them like a Ninja throwing star.

  • Dreaming Vertebrate

    Breitbart: For an additional $9.99, upgrade to our Snowflake Supreme which comes with a microchip and speaker and positively screams “Merry Christmas” every hour on the hour. Help assure that precious libtard in your family really gets into the holiday spirit.

  • TexasBoy

    Kind of a shame really, that their predictions of Obamacare Death Panels for the elderly didn’t materialize. I mean, Trump is 70 years old…and on medicare…so it’s me to waste him.

  • Friday

    These people just demonstrate more and more that they aren’t ‘defending’ anything, not even holidays, never mind ‘family values’ just trying to divide with hate, and I dunno, projecting their own shortcomings or something.

  • Uncle Mark

    No need to buy me flakes, Breitbart. I’m eating my Frosted Flakes EVERY morning. So what y’all eating there at Breitbart? Bile? Crow? Humble pie? I sure know it’s not profits courtesy of good sponsors. I’ll just send y’all a Kellogs snack pack, so you won’t starve. Happy Holidays !!

    • OdieDenCO

      do not feed the trolls! 🙂

    • Silver Badger

      Naw. Let ’em starve.

    • cleos_mom

      Throw in a small bag of Starbuck’s coffee and directions to the nearest Target.

  • Readen Reply
    • Cuberly

      Be sure to cut the eye holes in them first.

    • ByronK

      Do you think there’s a thing like the higher the position, the higher the thread count?

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    Why do they think that family and friends they “gift” this shit with won’t bear a grudge against them and decide to keep or donate the gift they were about to give to the Breitbarter to charity?

    I’d like to see some asshole parents give this to the grownup children and see where they end up when they’re too old to live by themselves.

  • saucetin

    Scott Baio special snowflake ornament.

  • Tor

    I’d box up the shattered pieces, and send it back to the giver with a note, “Oopsie!”

  • disqus_Qm7Y1t9k8U

    If I see this shit on any tree, I’m fucking ripping it off, tact be damned.

  • Paula

    Yes, I am a snowflake. A well trained, armed, prepared snowflake and my family knows it. 😉

    • Rebecca Gardner

      You and me sister!

      • Silver Badger

        You get enough snowflakes together and you have an avalanche.

        • Moebym of the Resistance

          Or glaciers that carve mountains!

          • jomai
          • Oh’behr

            Thank you. I had not seen this video previously.

          • jomai

            That song means so much to me…

        • EweTaw

          Not me. I just have a Blanche.

      • Todd20036

        And yet you’re both still fabulous!

    • ByronK

      I’m frozen water and I will cut you! 🙂

      • Paula

        Let it go! 😉 The cold never bothered me anyway.

  • David Walker

    One of their xmas carols:

    “Let’s all put down the bourgeoisie, they’re libruls one and all.
    For we’re the true Americans, and to us they will crawl.
    As patriots we vow to do our best at Putin’s call
    With rants full of anger and hate,
    Anger and hate.
    With rants full of anger and hate.”

    Perhaps you’ve heard of another? Perhaps you’d share it with us?

    • beariac

      ♫Jingle bells,
      Hillary smells,
      Donald is our muse.

      After Christmas,
      Snowflakes are listless,
      So we’ll round up all the Jews.♫

      • cleos_mom

        Chinese restaurants everywhere need to be on high alert a week from tomorrow.

    • ByronK

      Dog whistles blow
      Are you listening
      On the Hill
      Hate is bristling
      It’s a terrifying sight
      We’re frightened tonight
      Walking in a fascist white homeland

  • Cuberly
    • KCMC

      CHA CHA HEELS!!!

      • grada3784

        Chachi’s a heel!!!!!

    • greenmanTN

      Not on Christmas!

      • Cuberly

        Dawn is just stompin the shit out of everything Breitbart. She did after-all ask for cha-cha heels.

  • DaveMiller135

    Conservativism, when Anger is all you have.

  • Rebecca Gardner

    So now we have people with the emotional and mental maturity of a 4 year old inside the White House. What could possibly go wrong.

  • aar9n

    Peace on earth and goodwill towards Whom?

  • petewestcentral

    This is scaring up some cash to make up for lost sponsors, right?

  • bambinoitaliano

    I could collect them from the dump bins of the manufacturer after Xmas and make them into Ninja stars I could deploy when facing the fascists.

  • MBear
    • EweTaw

      One of my favorite quotes EVER!

  • Rebecca Gardner
  • Cosmo Tupper

    ” “Breitbart: BULLY Your Liberal Friends And Family With Our “Precious Snowflake” Christmas Ornament” ”

    Now that’s productive, huh, breitbart? My entire life has been dedicated to wanting people like you to suffer immeasurable, physical [email protected]!n, FOREVER!

    As soon as trump limits free speech, I’m suing your ass for emotional distress, inciting violence and permanent psychological harm! A class-action should duly bankrupt your morally bankrupt asses.

    You think you have instilled the right candidate, but oh what an apocalyptic mistake that will have turned out to be.

  • Dirk Prophet

    Breitbart has no advertisers left so they had to create their own products to advertise. But the good folks there are the biggest discrimination envy, PC whining, snowflakes in the world. Challenge one and they decompensate immediately.

    • EweTaw

      I agree. They are rather unstable and prone to explosive and often violent behavior. That’s why it’s so much fun to poke sticks at them. 🙂

  • Blake

    “Aww. Thank you! I’m sorry to say your gift is delayed. Who’d have thought replacement souls would have such a huge backorder this year?”

  • Larry in Oklahoma

    It must be fake steel or aluminum to be so affordable. They are wrong about recipients melting. If I were to receive one, I would NOT re-gift it; I would aim it into the trash can. So, tell me, Breitbart, who the real winner is here! 🙂

    • EweTaw

      Might make a good ninja star. You could throw it at your favorite tea bagger and watch him bleed. 🙂

  • EweTaw

    So, the Breitbatians are completely oblivious that they are the precious ones who are so easily set off at the slightest mention of any progressive ideas. Poor little thin-skinned pookems. They’ll never figure it out.

  • cleos_mom

    If you suspect a familial humanoid unit will give you one of those, have this wrapped and ready to put under the tree.

    You can claim it’s a gift of ammunition for a beloved gun owner.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6ab61df574cb9ab26e7283633ade0e83faf575479e5ee93ae44f6e437047445b.jpg

  • CubbyPQ

    I figured a Breitbart snowflake would look like a swastika.

    • Sam_Handwich

      feliz nazidad

    • ByronK

      At least they showed restraint and aren’t hawking lynching ornaments

  • karmanot
  • JT

    Brightfart simply cannot be funny, no matter how hard they try.

  • boobert

    All kinds of crap like this. Just look on trumps twitter ! If I get one , I’ll smash it with a hammer and send it back. Oh , and unfriend them on fb, lol.

  • ByronK

    OT WTF? MSNBC top of the hour news used unprecedented in Trump’s Twitter. Double plus good.

  • boobert

    Festivus is making more sense. I’l tell everyone how they disapointed me over the past year !

    • ByronK

      And celebrate with a pole. 😉

    • cleos_mom

      I tell everyone how astounding it is that anyone would want to emulate George Costanza’s fright wig of a family in anything.

      • boobert

        You haven’t met my mother ! lol

        • cleos_mom

          And evidently I would never want to.

    • Jerry

      Well, what 2016 has shown me is it is past time for the airing of grievances.

  • GayOldLady

    Since the pointed sheet hats and the swastika’s have been dragged out into the light of day Breitbart is melting right before our eyes, so it’s only appropriate they think snowflake ornaments are appropriate.

  • coram nobis

    Send them a lump of coal in return. The symbolism would be on a number of levels that even they could grasp.

  • Matt

    They’re probably made with leaded paint. Refuse all such “gifts” and insist the giver shove it up their own ***.

    • MaryOGrady

      That was my first thought. Of course, if one had the time to sharpen it, it would make a fine ninja-style throwing star to return to sender.

  • Macbill

    Obviously a ploy to make up for lost ad revenue.

    • ByronK

      They’ll have to start whoring out Milo. Or at least start to take a cut now.

      • Canadian Observer

        Maybe they did some market research first and determined that, given the kind of price Milo would command, it would be necessary to hire minimum wage staff to roll all those coins… thereby causing the whole operation into a deficit position.

      • trouble94114

        that would imply that they aren’t already using them as a loss leader for the brand. After all, it’s tough to sell that which you cannot give away

  • poose

    I know this is a dig intended for us, but it could easily apply to your favorite right winger…someone want to knock off copies so Breitbot doesn’t earn anything?

  • justmeeeee

    They have to do SOMETHING to pay the light bill. Their ad revenue is in the crapper.

  • KnownDonorDad

    Breitbart Christmas songs:

    Whites-Only Christmas
    Immigrants Are Coming to Town
    Hitler Wonderland

  • Tiger Quinn

    And where are these little miracles made, one wonders.

  • MonochromeMouse

    If anyone gives me that ornament they are getting one of those points shoved in their face.

  • I’ve said it before and will say it again:

    Winter clip art is not Christian, biblical, or likely to have been seen in the Holy Land.

    • Jerry

      Most of their manger scenes have snow on the roof…over the white baby Jeezis.

      • Earl

        C’mon now. All the animals give birth mid-winter. It helps the young survive if they have to hibernate for a few months and live off of mum’s milk.

        Oh, wait. That’s not true, is it? Maybe for bears, it’s true…

      • Lumpy Gaga

        Well, it was at night.

  • Gerry Fisher

    It’s appropriate that the edges of the snowflake look sharp. Like a ninja star. Nothing “loving” at all. It’s meant to cut.

  • Canadian Observer

    Crafted with love in the USA? Oh goody, must mean all those manufacturing jobs have returned to the Rust Belt. /s

    • Andymac3

      They’ll probably arrive sometime in January, the snowflakes, not the jobs.

  • Lumpy Gaga

    Mock your Breitbart acquaintances with a book.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      Or the number of Breitbart’s coke dealer.

  • MCL_DTLA

    I love how their holiest of their holy days can be ruined by a Starbucks to-go cup while harnessing it for mocking your loved (?!?) ones brings Christmas Joy

  • Orly

    Says the precious snowflakes.

  • grada3784

    Happy Mammonmas, everybody. It’s past time we acknowledged the real God of this country.

  • JCF

    Hmmm: I can think of a few ways this gift might be “returned” to the giver—

    https://c2.staticflickr.com/6/5027/5682592545_5eca4e4681_m.jpg

  • witch

    As a crafter, I would over paint it with the rainbow flag, then show it to the sob who gave it

  • MDixon34

    It’s so easy to push back against these precious little alt-right snowflakes. Just use words like “festivus” or “Kaepernick” and they go into complete meltdown mode. They have trigger words just like they claim liberals do.

    • Homo Erectus

      Happy Saturnalia!

  • Wesinoregon

    Wish them a Merry Myth-mas.

  • Phaius
  • MDixon34
  • UrsusArctos

    Well, it IS six pointed. I guess the alt-right Nazi crowd at Breitbart can think of SOME use for the unsold ones after the holidays.

  • Andymac3

    You could always remind them that Breitbart was Jewish and helped start The Huffington Post. That should take the shine of their smirk.

  • Rocco

    I don’t think I have any family members (who I talk to) who read Breitbart. Something about that sentence….”read” and “Breitbart” don’t seem like they belong in the same sentence….I can’t imagine a social situation where I would be held captive by one of the “deplorables” either, thank God. One of the many things I am grateful for this holiday season: I don’t live in a red state! I have memories of both, though, which is why I am so grateful!!

  • Ox&LambKeptTime

    Mock Your Fundagelical Conservtard friends with a “Baby Jesus Was a Power Bottom” bumper sticker.

  • glass

    Conservative christians want you to spend money and spread hate for christmas. Just like jesus would do.
    Abrahamic religions are a cult, there is no love or humanity in them.

  • fuzzybits

    Yes,after the ornament is presented then the guns come out and we burn the tree down. Yay,holidays!

  • Homo Erectus
  • Secure

    Their going to piss Jesus off disrespecting the Lord like that…..

    Christmas is not about snowflakes!

  • leastyebejudged

    After reading the comments in this thread, I feel compelled to point out that this type of thing, and your predictable responses to it, are part of a so far extremely effective and efficient strategy.

    They can rely on our media to report every trivial insane obnoxious little thing.

    So make sure to constantly immerse us in divisive and frustrating bullshit to get us to ditch all conservative contacts and friends.

    It’s smart because it isolates both groups from each other, and creates massive piles of bullshit specific to each group that simply can not be overcome by the other.

    So your potential for positive impact has been reduced proportionally to your isolation from “those people”.

    How much more friends and family are you going to increasingly exclude from your life, along with your ability to have any positive influence on them ?

    Looks like most of you have already ditched everybody that we need to convince to make anything matter.

    It also looks to me like our media are mere tools for the enemy, and for the status quo.

    • cleos_mom

      That’s nice, dear.

    • mdub in Puyallup

      To be honest, even being a positive influence doesn’t get the intended effect when some are so closed-minded that they think only their ideals are worthy of existing. They are more likely to think of themselves as superior for even allowing you to be in their life then to have any true self-reflection.

  • It’s interestingly crafted – the precious one surrounded by seemingly hungry, cmiling Grinches wearing funny hats..

  • I thought “snowflakes” were those frozen embryos that people are always getting all weepy about.

  • Octoberfurst

    Leave it to conservatives to come up with a mean-spirited gift to give. Why not just give a plaque of a hand giving the middle finger. It is much more to the point.

  • goofy_joe

    Fucking dicks. It’s funny how they crumble and whine when called out on their bullshit and asked for details to back up their claims, but turn right around and call us whiney…especially now that the biggest whiner of them all is about to take the oath of office.

  • Bruce Donald Robertson

    Saw this response on Democratic Underground and thought it was perfect. “I love the little snowflake insult. It’s emasculating while being adorable. The reason republicans control so many positions in government is due mainly to gerrymandering districts to insure republican wins. And voter suppression in the communities that lean democratic. If a true popular vote were tallied in congressional and presidential races, Democrats would have had the presidency for the last 24 years and would have it for the next eight.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/03/01/this-is-the-best-explanation-of-gerrymandering-you-will-ever-see/?utm_term=.3390c55ecba1

    The people spoke in this election and 2.8 million more voters chose Hillary than Trump.

    In poll after poll, more Americans support Democratic ideas and goals than Republican (even on abortion, gun control and gay marriage, the the holy trinity of Republicanism).

    http://www.gallup.com/poll/117328/marriage.aspx

    http://www.gallup.com/poll/1645/guns.aspx

    http://www.gallup.com/poll/1576/abortion.aspx

    Republicans do succeed in elections over Democrats in one area and that is fighting dirty, never giving up, and willing to do anything to win. That is about the only things Democrats should emulate from the Republican side. We are too forgiving, too apologetic, and too willing to let past slights and insults go.

    If we want to win we need to go after them like Patrick, every day and never let them get away with anything. Hold them accountable for their failures and lies and do it in language they use; cheaters, liars, bullshit artists, unpatriotic , traitors. commie lovers, who need safe spaces from criticism. Trump and his supporters are a bunch of precious little snowflakes who can’t stand it when people express their First Amendment rights and have to throw adorable little toddler tantrums when smart people chastise them or their daddy.

    And a lot of the medicare, social security and Obamacare recipients are about to find out that the people they just voted into office are going to fuck them over so fast and so great it will make their heads spin. I mean it’s going to be fanfuckingtastic, the best fuckover you have ever seen in your life.”

  • Evan Cook

    And the perfect gift for those who give you a snowflake?… fetus cookie cutters, microphone salad tongs, baby’s first tattoo gun, spray-on-hair, inflatable fruitcake, gold pills, electronic pet petter, dvd rewinder, smoking mittens…

  • NancyP

    Well, you know what PT Barnum said – “There’s a fool born every minute”.