Retired Gen. David Petraeus Would Have To Notify His Probation Officer To Travel As Secretary Of State

New York Magazine reports:

If Donald Trump chooses former CIA director and retired General David Petraeus as the winner of his secretary of State reality show, he’ll want to throw in a pardon, too. In 2015, Petraeus pled guilty to a misdemeanor charge of mishandling classified information, which he shared with his mistress. That alone would reportedly require a pardon for Petraeus to assume the role of secretary of State.

But so too would the terms of Petraeus’ probation, which, among other things, give his probation officer the right to search his personal and office computer. Unless Petraeus’ probation officer has security clearance, that probably wouldn’t work. Petraeus is also required to get permission from the officer to leave North Carolina, which could get tedious given the travel required for the job. These conditions of Petraeus’s probation were highlighted by USA Today reporter Brad Heath.

  • clay

    But . . . Hillareez e-mails!

    • another_steve

      BENGHAZI!!!

      • poli

        4 dead American, inculding one homosexual isn’t a joke. You displayed anti-gay bigotry the best liberal way you know how, by being a double-standard peddling douche. You can go to Cuba now and see how awesome life is for homosexuals in countries run by dictators. Fuck off anti-gay bigot! Serve our country? Didn’t think so! die and make room in the world for some good.

        • another_steve

          If I died, my cat would miss me. I’m in charge of feeding her.

          My husband loves her too, but he doesn’t feed her.

          • poli

            well you fuck your cat and your fake male ‘husband’ has been jealous of that pussy since you got ‘married’. buh-bye douche boi

          • another_steve

            ^^ Peeps… our enemy is illiterate.

            We are blessed by the caliber of our enemy.

          • BobSF_94117

            Well, considering it’s their second language, they’re not doing so bad.

          • vorpal

            I just double checked, very thoroughly, and I can assure you that my husband is 100% real.

          • greenmanTN

            Okay, you brought up cats so this is all your fault, so remember that. 😉

            I’ve mentioned before the litter of cats that was literally dropped just outside my door.

            For whatever reason the male kitten and Mack-Daddy (the father) will let me pet them or pick them up, but the females all run from me as if I’m a notorius beater of cats or something, I made a comment about it to my sister and she said they don’t like my voice because it’s too deep, so they’re scared of me.

            It’s not like you ever really hear yourself, so I am oddly chuffed that apparently I have a deep voice that scares cats. I have a deep voice! Who knew? 😉

            (True, but totally joking about it.)

          • another_steve

            I sound very fem, hon.

            The cat hears me, and laughs.

          • greenmanTN

            I had a speech impediment as a child, was unable to pronounce Rs, which really fucking sucks considering there are several Rs in my name. So I had to go to speech classes.

            The WORST part of the whole thing was that the teacher would record us then play it back. Almost nobody likes to hear their own voice- it was horrifying, but at least now I can pronounce Rs.

          • another_steve

            That level of student care is lacking today, I’m sure.

            I’ve always been androgynous in voice and appearance.

            Back in the 1950s, they didn’t know what the fuck to make of me, so they just gave up.

          • greenmanTN

            My presentation is “cis-gendered” I suppose, though I believe that determination is best left up to other people because we really don’t have an accurate view of ourselves. The gay men I’ve known who railed most about “effeminate” men actually sounded like Mary Martin warming up to play Peter Pan.

            But I’m a gay man living in the South who hates watching sports, does not hunt or watch NASCAR, likes to read, draw or paint, so I might as well be wearing a miniskirt and high heels. It’s all relative.

            And FWIW they didn’t know what to make of me either.

          • another_steve

            You have a very beautiful written voice, greenman. Regardless of what you look or sound like.

            You should put it to use.

          • greenmanTN

            Thank you. (I’m pretending I know how to take a compliment graciously.)

            I often think by writing because things (for me anyway) can be very amorphous until you pin them down in words, sentences, and paragraphs.

            So thank you.

            Just for the hell of it, a sketch I did of a fountain at Biltmore House. I hope you like it.

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ec404effe3a659a25ed828753a3bfc62c89e533f46b7c1785f6c9d7ef4d8f5b1.jpg

          • Bad Tom

            That’s lovely!

          • greenmanTN

            Thank you for saying you like it. It actually does mean a lot to me because I never really had much confidence in my artwork, so it was almost like a dirty secret I kept to myself, kind of like masturbation! 😜

          • greenmanTN

            Thank you for saying you like it. I mean that. I’ve never had a lot of confidence in my artwork so that means more than you know. In some ways I’ve treated my artwork like a dirty secret, kinda like masturbation. 😉

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6c134eeb4cdac6ee3d4afb42fd917f146f16069ca1b78c6ae5321921c1f39e42.jpg

          • Bad Tom

            I think they’re great! I get a real feeling for this man’s personality, shining from his face.

          • vorpal

            I also love what you’ve posted and really appreciate you sharing them with us. I wish I had a fraction of the skill that you have!

          • greenmanTN

            I am glad you like them. I don’t know exactly hiw to talk about this, but I’m finally getting to the point where I can say “That ain’t bad!”

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a58cc236b8b600731f82892284f15ef3d82ba276e1d8162a8e47d9700f5d7298.jpg

            Poseidon. I seem to have a thing for mythological “daddies.” Hmmm. 😉

          • vorpal

            Really love this one, particularly!
            Mythological daddy fan club… sign me up, please!

          • greenmanTN

            That one was made using water soluable graphite (as in pencil lead) which I only discovered a short time ago, though I really do sometimes actually use color, I swear.

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/752caee09fe14f67e11e825bbe98217ec87369e64611fe48813d23f22ec5bb87.jpg

            But yeah, the mythological daddy thing kind of gets to me. To paraphase the movie Mandingo, “Plunder me Poseidon, plunder me!”

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c9138b9315b4a3fbf17cbb64bb7e6fe0443512b0ecd7a1ac654037bfecf3f8fd.jpg

            But then I thought this was a good idea for a self portrait. For some odd reason my extended family thinks I’m a little odd, but I figure my purpose is to keep them on their toes. I was actually kind of shocked after I took an online test and it said I wasn’t on the autism spectrum. I’m just stubborn.

          • vorpal

            So, just to be clear, the dot matrix printer lining is your self portrait? I think that is AWESOME and freaking love it!

            LOL my entire family is kind of weird, but they seem to think that I’m the weirdest of the bunch, and they’re probably right. I do a lot of weird shit… for example, I changed my first and middle names at the age of 22, and used to dye my hair blue a lot. I’m a philosophical Taoist, I had five pet snakes for awhile, I freaking love pills and chemicals of all types (I enjoy having a lot of pills to take… but hate having to take a lot of pills, which I did at one point when my Crohn’s was severe) and am utterly fascinated by pharmacology, and I’m living abroad in Chile for work. I have untreated adult diagnosed ADHD (but clearly have had it my whole life) so by brain is a fucking wonky, thought-ricocheting amusement park of bizarre.

            They still love me all the same but they know certain questions probably shouldn’t be asked, as they won’t like the answers. My mom has asked me all kinds of questions about sex and drugs and I always ask her, “Think carefully: are you SURE you want to know the answer to that?” and she usually comes back with, “You’re right. Better not answer.” 😀

            When you use colour, what’s your medium of choice?

          • greenmanTN

            I really don’t have a favorite, though I do like thicker, more opaque watercolor (gouache) because it dries so much faster than oil paints. (“Who do you have to fuck around here to get this thing to dry?! It’s been two weeks!” There are some Japanese paints that are somewhere between watercolor and goache that I like using because you can use them thick or thin.

            I smoked my weight in pot in my 20s but otherwise I can’t compete. Though my mom did once walk in on me right in the middle of getting fucked. (The house had settled a bit so the door wouldn’t lock.)

            “Well, I bet that’s the last time you barge into a room without knocking.” I mean what else are going to say?

          • greenmanTN

            I was more of a stealth weirdo. No hair color, no piercings, no tattoos, yet I still seem to scare the natives a bit.

            “I didn’t say a word. I’m thinking it, but I didn’t SAY it,” though it’s kind of obvious what I’m thinking.

          • greenmanTN

            I’m really kind of pissed off anout this, but when I was 15 or 16 I saw some kinda weird Showtime special by Pat Collins, “The Hip Hypnotist'” who claimed it was impossible for a person to lay rigid (plank) with only their neck and feet connected to supports unless they were hypnotized.

            Uh-oh, a challenge! So I set up a camera on a tripod and took several pictures of myself suspended between two kitchen chairs. I was using a timer on the camera so had 30 seconds to get to the chairs, put my feet on one and my neck on the other and get rigid between them before the camera went off.

            So I took several pictures of that, complete with clothing changes. i really was a goof. I cant believe I lost those pictures, dammit!

          • vorpal

            Ahhhh! I can’t believe that you both managed it AND lost those pictures! That’s fantastic, and I would love to have seen that!

            I can barely make breakfast without tripping and breaking my neck in the process 😼, so consider me very impressed!

          • vorpal

            Oh!!! Hahaha! I’ll share a story, too… back when I was five, I used to write my own plays on… hahaha… dot matrix printer paper. Then I would MAKE my friends and my brother perform the plays while my dad filmed on our hideous, gigantic BetaMax video camera, and get all irate when they would get all rambunctious and start running around instead of refusing to obey my stage directions and read their lines. (I’m not convinced that they could even read the words I wrote, much less my bad pencil scribblings!)

            I read the Lord of the Rings when I was seven because I was playing a video game based on it on the Commodore 64 and couldn’t figure out how to pass one part of the game. That was what made me realize 100% that I was gay as gay can be… I used to spend every night before bed rolling around in bliss fantasizing about riding off into the sunset with Frodo to get married. It took me a year to read that book, but it was a pretty good year.

            LOL I had a small crush on a girl when I was 13… in retrospect, she was a rugby player that was the most traditionally masculine one in my class. I was SO confused and upset by this because I had realized I was gay years before… so I spent about three months going to bed every night bawling my eyes out and praying to the Christian god that I was still gay. I couldn’t believe that I had figured it all out only to have it snatched (bad pun) away from me!

            I love weird and quirky people :-). You sound like a ton of awesome! Thanks for this really fun chat today: I’ve really enjoyed talking with you and I hope we do it more!

          • greenmanTN

            This a photo I took a long time ago of me in “new wave” clothes before going to a party.

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e744542ade47afb42d9a87e2d9df4c35d49790e6a1be1e25fa59cbc4468fcb6f.jpg

            I sent it to an online friend and said “I think I almost look Asian in that picture.”

            (She has two adopted Korean sons.) “No, your nose is too big to be Asian.”

            “You think I have a big nose?”

            “Let’s just say there’s never a doubt which way you’re facing.”

            I laughed so hard I cried and my abs hurt like I’d been doing crunches all day. I love a bit of bitchery when it’s skillfully done.

            Regarding reading: I got really mad at my parents because they wouldn’t let me go see the movie Carrie. I was in elementary school, but not one to be thwarted, so I bought and read the book instead.

            One day a girl in my class had really bad abdominal pains and was rushed to the hospital, so I told everyone she’d just had her first period and the first one is always the worst, thanks the knowledge I’d gained by reading Carrie.

            She had appendicitis, but for a few hours it really sounded like I knew what the hell I was talking about!

          • Acronym Jim

            Ernest!…or is that Venka?

          • greenmanTN

            Venka?

            There is an odd basement room in the Biltmore house where they had the walls painted with murals for a Halloween party, so there I am trying to sketch some of it while Mr Damn, Mrs Damn, and the whole Damn family keeps knocking into me on their way to the concession stands. I promise you they aren’t going to run out weiners, Hogzilla, so what’s the rush?

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9e42b74dd94488e3d0a6d789aec257d1d34344a51234e898f6875bcc3b2a3df0.jpg

          • Acronym Jim

            Venka is one of the names the troll is posting under.

          • greenmanTN

            i was wondering if there was a Venka Biltmore I’d never heard of!

            😉

          • djcoastermark

            I couldn’t put together “tr” as a kid, it only came out as “fff”. My grandma used to love to tell the story to my boyfriends of me as a kid throwing a temper tantrum in a toy store that I wanted a “truck” She was so sick, I just loved her.

          • ByronK

            It was “th” for me. Always came out as “fff”. Fink. Fief. Faught. Speech therapist in grade two. Ironically, years later, whenever I’d tell people what one of my sisters did for a living, like some kind of mental revenge, I’d say she was a speech patherapist.

          • greenmanTN

            I forget the exact mechanics of how it worked, but the speech teacher had us play Candyland which somehow involved us saying words. Really? As if this isn’t horrible enough, I have to play fucking Candyland?!

            My older brother imitated me once and got spanked for it, so the memories aren’t all bad. 😉

          • Bomer

            They did that when I had to take Speech in college, but the also added the extra hell of video taping as well.

          • greenmanTN

            Video? That would be even worse.

            Possibly the worst thing was the teacher told me to sing the Scooby Doo theme song then played it back. #1, I can’t sing for shit, #2, I had a fucking speech impediment so that made it worse!

            Who are you, Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS?

            (Though I had a bit of a crush on an older boy with curly blond hair but sounded a bit like Donald Duck.)

          • David Walker

            I was an announcer for decades…really worked on resonance and such. After I retired I went to a couple of production companies for freelance voice over work and was invariably told I sounded too much like an announcer.

          • another_steve

            I bet you have a lovely voice, David. Deep and resonant.

            I can sense it from your comments and from your avatar.

          • David Walker

            Thank you. I’m pretty sure that smoking was partly responsible for lowering my voice. When I quit, it rose a bit but still sounded like me. I hate to admit it, but I was concerned. It’s not particularly distinctive, but it served its purpose for several decades. The “you sound too much like an announcer” was both an insult and a compliment. I went with the latter.

          • Todd20036

            That can be really sexy, especially if it’s your natural voice versus “faking” it for the camera

          • David Walker

            I don’t fake anything, sir.

            It’s mostly natural. I think smoking helped lower it, but it was pretty much there. When I quit smoking, the voice went up a little bit but not all that much. And now, 30 years later, I still got the pipes.

          • greenmanTN

            When I get a cold I apprently sound like James Earl Jones. I mean people have said to me “You should be on radio,” when I’m all stopped up. I assume I could train myself to sound like that all the time, but I don’t really concern myself with it too much. I sound how I sound and I’m not going to worry about it, though I do kinda look forward to catching a cold and sounding like James Earl Jones again.

          • David Walker

            You could do worse. When I started announcing, I dreaded a cold. I discovered the miracle Contac and those little time-released bits of relief. Then, of course, they got banned, so I played around with brands and never really find a good substitute for it.

          • greenmanTN

            I really doubt there is a recording of it, but I did once read “The Night Before Christmas” on a local AM radio station, before AM went all right wing crazy.

            It didn’t require singing, thank god.

            It’s funny now, but I remember the music teacher walking back and forth in front my class trying to figure out where that horrible sound was coming from. It was me. So I got to skate onstage in my sock-feet, pretending to be in a Winter Wonderland instead of singing about one. I couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket.

          • vorpal

            In my experience, girl cats take a lot longer to warm up to people and generally are quite selective about who they like.

            Boy cats are big sucks. Our three boy kitties will approach anyone who comes over and insist on pets, whereas our girl cat will look at them with something as close to utter disgust as a cat can manage and then retreat to one of the bedrooms to get away from the riff-raff.

            Our three boy cats are also frequently piled up in a big heap together, whereas I’m pretty sure our girl cat thinks there’s just way too much damn scrotum in the house. 😸

          • greenmanTN

            LOL’

            I’m starting to take it personally. “WTF did I ever do to you? OK, there was that one time I beat you… Oh wait, that NEVER happened, so get your bitch-ass over here and endure some petting!”

            I guess it’s true what they say about males, human or feline, we really are tramps for attention., though I’ve really only tried to pick up Baby-Daddy once and have the scars to prove it. A recording of me talking to the cats would make really good blackmail material.. “Who’s my Mister Baby? You are. Yes you are!”

            Shoot me now.

          • vorpal

            LOL. Our girl cat adores me to the point where about 15 minutes before I get home, she’ll jump up on the piano near the front door and start purring and drooling and doing her “dance” (where she alternately raises and lowers her front paws – we joke that she was clearly a stripper before we adopted her). When she hears the screen door open, she explodes into a mess of purring, drooling delight, and I have to give her a good long round of pets.

            The fun, though, is in me picking her up, because she absolutely despises that! If anyone else tried it, they might lose an eye. She will tolerate it for a short time if I do it, but her tail and back start to twitch fiercely and she lets out some very unhappy protesting meows.

            She only has herself to blame: if she didn’t make it so humorous and adorable, I wouldn’t do it :-).

            The only other life form she’ll tolerate is one of our black boys, and it’s because he’s such an incredible charmer that he’s never met anyone or anything – no matter how much of a cat hater – who can resist him.

            He’ll ooze his way slowly next to you so slowly that you don’t even notice him coming until he’s already there, and then he’ll unleash a series of utterly devastating, spine-tinglingly deep, soft rumble-purrs in your ear until you just melt into a puddle of swoon.

            We joke that he’s kind of the Rohypnol of cats, because he’s so soothing and relaxing that many times, if he lays next to one of us for a few minutes, we’ll pass out and wake up a couple of hours later with no idea what happened.

            Your adorable attempts at wooing the cats shows that yeah, we boys are all definitely attention sluts :D.

            You reminded me of this, which is so accurate:
            http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/cat_proximity.png

          • greenmanTN

            One of my kind of dirty secrets is that my cat (who died 2 years ago at 17) was totally gay for my armpits. He’d curl up next to me and knead and knead and knead in my armpit while I was laying in bed trying to read.

            He was neutered, but eventually “Mr Pinky” would show up and I’d have to push him away. “I know what you’re up to, mister, now stop it!” Then he’d skulk to the end of the bed and glare at me for being such a cocktease.

          • vorpal

            Hahahaha! That is utterly hilarious! Armpit fetish cat!

            One of our black boys (the sultry one, Duncan) is neutered, but has two stuffed animals he LOVES way too much… a teddy bear and a penguin. He carries them around the house in his mouth, letting out these horrible noises, until he finds the spot with the most people and then proceeds to hump one, ALWAYS face down, often setting the other one up next to it as if to watch.

            Our old cleaning lady had a deep respect for lunch, and it was a sacred time for her. We would all have to sit down and eat a proper meal together, which is just weird for me because I am a lazy piece of shit and eat all of my meals in bed. My brain cannot process the idea of sitting at a table to eat food unless at a restaurant.

            Anyways, one time we were sitting for lunch with her when Duncan came in with his penguin in his mouth, yowling away. He set it down on the floor and started to go to town on it.

            The cleaning lady jumped and screamed, “Not during the lunch! NOT DURING THE LUNCH!”

            I have never seen him run that fast.

            I also like to be silly about it. One time after he finished and was on the couch “cleaning himself off”, I grabbed his penguin, set it up next to him, and yelled, “If you’re not going to take it to dinner, you can at least give it a fucking cuddle!”

            My other black boy, Felix (in my avatar), is weird in that he adores when I have potent man-smells. For example, if I go jogging, my jogging shirt is pretty manly ripe. No matter where I put it, he will grab it, and then proceed to roll and roll and roll in it, purring the whole time.

            You, sir, are even more of a kitty cock blocker than my cleaning lady!

          • greenmanTN

            Given that, you might enjoy this short animation.

            https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dkoQDTdNjms

            Nemo, the cat I had for many years, was solid black and I got him for free from a fortune teller in Houston who had a sign in her window for “free cats.” It appealed to my sense of humor to get my black cat from a self-proclaimed witch/psychic/voodoo priestess.

            i already have 5 cats (mama and the 4 kittens) I’m feeding, but yesterday I looked out the door and there was this new solid black kitten eating the dry food I put out. I need another cat like I need a hole in the head, but I was thinking “If I can get my hands on you, you’re mine!”

            Jesus. I’m already only one step away from going to Walmart in a housecoat and terrycloth slippers with curlers in my hair and appearing on “Hoarders,”, but I need ANOTHER cat? Yeah, that’s gonna help!

          • vorpal

            Haha! That was awesome!

            We don’t generally try to stop Duncan from doing his business, since we’re like, hey… we do ours, so why shouldn’t he do his?

            I moved his penguin the other day, though, since it was looking sad, face down, and practically two dimensional in the middle of the living room carpet, and it was kind of filthy and crusty, like the sock under a teen boy’s bed. Ugh.

            Black cats – especially boys – are the best cats, but I’m sliiiightly biased :D.

            If you have a solid black kitten outside, you pretty much have no choice but to adopt it. It would be unthinkable not to!

            Hahahaha we can meet in WalMart (in either matching or horribly clashing housecoats) and commiserate about cats over senior’s coffee at McDonald’s, even though I’m not anywhere near being a senior and guessing from your avatar and self-portrait, neither are you :D. I’m sure they won’t say no to us when I show up in one of those hoverrounds due to severe laziness and disdain for being in an upright position.

          • greenmanTN

            Someone once told me if you get a cat, get a male, if you get a dog get a female.

            But I grew up with a male German Shepherd/Collie mix and he was a great dog, though he did have the herder instinct and I was the sheep. He followed me everywhere. I literally had to go in one door and go out the other to get in the car or else he would chase the car.

            Regarding Walmart: I went to Walmart one day and there was this older black woman on one of their scooters trying to use her cane to knock something off a high shelf, so I did the obvious thing and asked if I could help. That old crank bossed me all over that store, made me her personal shopper, and I spent the next 45 minutes getting all her groceries!

            “It’s right next to you! Are your picking-up fingers broken?!”

          • vorpal

            I think that someone may have had good advice. The best cats I have owned have all been boys, and while my only dog was a boy, he was a huge pain and handful, and all the girl dogs I’ve known have been sweet as can be.

            Hahaha I think our dog also had some shepherd in him. He would freak out whenever the “herd” split up and go into hysterics. We brought him to the grocery store one time and tied him to the bike rack outside while we did our shopping, which was huge and must have weighed a good 40+ lbs. (He was maybe 50 lbs at the time.)

            We came back outside to find him screeching like he had been doused in gasoline and lit on fire at every passerby, and he was so upset at being away from us that he had pulled the bike rack about 10 feet.

            LOL love your WalMart story! You are way the hell more patient than I am. I would have probably gotten irate and pushed her cart over or spilled her basket on the ground. 😸

            One time while visiting NYC, this very elderly lady was standing in front of her apartment building and started screaming at my husband and I as we walked past. We asked her what was wrong and she asked if we could help her carry a couch to her apartment. Seemed like a ridiculous thing to ask people on vacation, but what the hell, right? Turns out it was up four flights of stairs!

            I bet if you refused your new friend, you would have got a stern whack with that cane! 😸

          • greenmanTN

            Another WalMart story. I was there one night and I wanted some condiment (sesame oil I think) but there was only bottle and it was on the top shelf but all the way at the back so I couldn’t reach it. So I went looking for something to use to hook it with, a piece of cardboard or anything really, but I still couldn’t get it.

            But there was this pretty tall, somewhat older black man in the same aisle, so I approached him and asked if he could get it for me. So he did. But I’m watching him and thinking “Well aren’t you the beefy little stud-muffin!” I did everything but fan my face like Scarlett O’Hara, not really intentionally but because my brain was thinking “There are many things I can think of to do to reward you for your help!”

            Then he gave me this look like “I know what you’re thinking,” smiled at me and walked away. I really wish I had landed that one.

          • vorpal

            Hahaha I don’t think I’d EVER be able to confess it to anyone if I met the love of my life in WalMart. That is not a story to share with the grandchildren / nieces / nephews / what have you :D.

            Sesame oil! We must be quantum entangled, because I have been thinking about sesame oil all day. We ran out a couple days ago and I’m home from work with a headache today, and all I wanted for my lunch was a stir fry with chicken, peppers, garlic, shallots, broccoli, and peanuts (obviously with soy, and today, black bean sauce) finished with a little sesame oil… but no sesame oil. 😿

            Hahaha I was reading this and your story about your past bromance with your neighbour…

            I am having a silly little bromance now online with a much younger guy (he is 24, I am 39). He is MOSTLY straight (and I believe him when he says that completely). We met on a community of a passionate shared interest and have been talking generally a few hours a day back and forth via text / email for about a month now. He says the most awesome, swooniest sweet things to me and I’m just crazy about him. I don’t want to do the sex on him or anything like that, even though he’s just insanely cute (to the point where the brain freezes up, but I strongly prefer older guys), but I do want to grab him and hug him and squeeze him until he squeaks.

            Really hoping to go meet him in 2017. My last trip was in September and I went across the US to meet a bunch of friends I hadn’t seen in awhile or had known online but never met before, and it was a ton of fun. (Then flew to Barcelona to meet the hubby and some friends.)

          • greenmanTN

            Possibly most embarrasing WalMart moment ever. I was walking past the shoe department and saw This Guy, late 30s or so, but for whatever reason he really hit my buttons, all of them, the acqualine nose, the dark curly hair, whatever. He’s shopping with his kids, two boys, and I’m skulking around the aisles of the WalMart shoe department just to look at him. I don’t think he noticed, I really really hope. Not that anything happened, but there I was pretending to shop for shoes but just looking at this guy.

            (Ok, im skipping around here a bit from one topic to another.) There was this Chinese reastaurant in Houston, one of those places where they have the backlit pictures of the alleged food they serve (it never looks like those pictures) so you’re thinking “this place is a dive.” But they had the most amazing dish of pork, tofu, leeks, in black bean sauce that I almost have dreams about.

            I really like Thai food. You know how easy it is to find Thai food in East Tennessee? Not very fucking easy!

            (Skipping again) I’ve only been to Spain once, for a friend’s wedding in Madrid. Though also visited “Barthelona.” When we were with a Spanish person with us everyone was so nice, practically doing cartwheels. Not with a Spanish person they could be pretty snotty. (Thank you for the complimentary Tortilla de Patatas, but did you happen to notice the goddamn green mold on top of it?!”)

            I flipped out in Gaudi park. We walked past a group of teenage boys and one of them called me “maricon.” We kept walking up the stairs to the balcony, but all the sudden my frustration at the Spanish attitude hit the boiling point and I went “I’m gonna go find those assholes and give them a piece of my mind,” So I went running back down the steps looking for them.

            Lucky for me I didn’t find them because they would have kicked my ass.

          • greenmanTN

            Nemo with his Wild Thing, a small stuffed toy basedl on the Maurice Sendak book. He would bite it and look at me like, “If I were bigger or you were smaller things would be WAY different around here, bucko!”

            “Don’t you look at me thst way, I am the giver of kibble,”

          • vorpal

            I think his brain was probably responding with the meowing equivalent of, “You are FORTUNATE enough, mere human, to be my minion and giver of kibble! Now move your arm into the proper position and look grateful for the opportunity!”

          • greenmanTN

            The first place I lived when I got him just wasn’t feasible to let him out due to traffic. Then I moved and there was a courtyard so I could let him out. One day I hear this little girl screaming and went out to see what was happening.

            Nemo was stalking her chihuahua from bush to bush, obviously planning its eminent doom.

            https://gimmebar.com/view/502dead629ca15812800000b/big

          • vorpal

            LOL okay, that link was pretty hilarious! I don’t even know what’s going on there but I think I need a couple minutes before I click on it again! 😸

            Nemo sounds like he was delightfully evil. That with the fact that he was a black boy kitty makes me like him already!

            My cat, Felix (aka Fifi, because we thought it would be fun to emasculate him in our own minds), I trained to be SUCH a shit disturber! He and Duncan are best buds and spend a ton of time together, but every so often – especially when I wrassle or play with him – he gets all worked up and ornery and has to sneak up behind Duncan and BITE him on the thigh! Then all chaos erupts and there is mad black boy kitty galloping all over the house.

            Did Nemo win against the chihuahua of doom?
            Did this girl ever recover and need years of therapy to do so?
            So many questions!

            My first black cat, Fritz, chose me: I wanted an orange tabby, but I walked by his cage at the humane society and his little black paw reached out and GRABBED me. I thought, “Okay, I’ll play along,” and asked the staff if I could interact with him. They took him out, and the first thing he did was try to climb up on a shelf, and fell down, taking every book with him. Then he tried to restore a modicum of dignity by jumping on the desk but slipped on the papers and took another load of crap down with him. I concluded instantly that he was the perfect cat for me and adopted him on the spot! Since then, black cats – especially boys – have been my favourites!

          • greenmanTN

            Unfortunately I ruined Nemo’s fun and took him back inside so the chihuahua lived to see another day. I am not a chihuahua fan- my grandmother had one, Pepe, and that little bastard was like a 6 inch tall piranha! I hated that dog!

            When I moved from TX back to TN, I rented a moving truck and since I didn’t want Nemo getting away from me at a rest stop or something I bought a harness and leash for him, but I didn’t have a single problem. Then when I got to TN I took him on a walk on my parents’ property to get him acclimated. Everything is fine, but suddenly he smelled something, a possum, raccoon or fox I guess, and he FLIPPED OUT! I’m holding onto the leash and all the sudden it’s like I’m flying a kite because he’s six feet up in the air doing cartwheels and screeching, then wrapped the leash around me and attacked my leg. I’m lucky I still have balls!

            But I like black cats too and that black kitten is gonna be mine soon, whether he/she knows it or not.

            Nemo making evil plans… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a5736de21f99d7c532092fd422b9fb630d36cc2d9139d56178e3c00b3055a6ff.jpg

          • greenmanTN

            I had some friends in Houston who had a female cat so of course I was all “I want to pet the kitty!” but that hateful little bitch wouldn’t let me get close to her. I was alone in a hallway with her once and tried to pet her and she hissed at me, so I stomped my foot to scare her.

            Have you ever been cornered by a snarling hell-beast that weighs maybe 12 pounds? It’s not fun. She started growling and backed me up against the wall. I had two choices, either punt the cat across the room or run. So I ran. Goddamn that cat was evil!

          • vorpal

            Oh yeah. We had adopted a cat for awhile that was a little unbalanced, possibly from being removed from his mother at a very young age. He took up residence in our bathroom, stealing our shirts out of the hamper to make a nest for himself on the floor, and learned hilariously enough how to flush the toilet (which he would try to do when you were sitting on it sometimes).

            He was just a little weird until we got a dog, at which point he broke and turned into a raging hell-beast: after that, we weren’t even allowed to set foot in our (only) bathroom without screeching and hissing and paw-swiping.

            We gave him around three months to adjust and had to shower, shave, and do our business with great care, fear, and constant threat, and when it became pretty obvious he wasn’t going to move to acceptance, we found a new home for him with three senior college girls who thought his screeching and hissing were adorable.

            The last I heard about him was when one of the girls emailed me a few months later to report that he was as crazy as ever but at least less aggressive, and she included a number of pictures of him wearing an assortment of party hats.

            It’s amazing how much terror 12 little furry pounds can inspire, isn’t it?

          • ByronK

            Would that be your gay husband? I didn’t know we needed to qualify that type of thing. I mean, if I end up with a straight husband, that’s not really going to last, is it?

        • Michael R

          Try KILLFILE for the trolls that can’t be blocked by Disqus

          https://s16.postimg.org/najzr4nut/now_that_is_one_pathetic_troll_250.jpg

          • poli
          • Todd20036

            FLAGGED THE WORTHLESS TROLL

          • Ernest

            Can’t flag me. The douche that runs this site has no idea what they’re doing. Why not block anonymous comments since this is the Easiest site to troll. You make it so easy then bitch about it. Why not get joe to make this a permanent echo chamber with the same 12 names typing amongst themselves until the end of your miserable little lives.

          • Todd20036

            As a matter of fact, I can flag you. I cannot block you because you are on a phony account.

            But you know something, Joe doesn’t ban people with alternate views.

            He bans trolls. And trolls offer no insights in the other side.

            They just insult people. Like you do.

            And yes, I flagged you for Joe to find. Idiot.

          • ernest

            Joe can’t block her ass with her own finger. Try again hon, your failures are stacking up fast fatso! lol. Joe is still trying to waddle from the bathroom to the kitchen for his 137th snack of the day.

          • Frankly these Nazis trolls like ernest and poli need to be made scared again

            http://www.maximumpop.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/giphy-142.gif

          • venka

            That’s all you got twat-waffle? Lol. You’re the Nazi since liberals said those with melanin ‘cannot be racist’. Care to try another worn out liberal trope that’s no longer an insult but an amusing way to view your twat-waffle-ness? Try harder libcucktard since I ‘cannot be racist’ no matter what since melanin is what makes me better than you according to liberal theology in 2016.

          • Here. Another coddle child who has been told their entitled life that they can do whatever they want. When the oppress will take it no longer, they scream about “reverse racism”.

            There will be no happy ending for you, of this I and many others like me will make sure.

          • Stephen Elliot Phillips

            Cuck doesnt really work as an insult with homosexuals

          • venka
          • Lumpy Gaga

            “Not a Gay Hitler. Not a Gay Hitler. YOU’RE the Gay Hitler.”

          • Slippy_World
          • another_steve

            Still awaiting a selfie of your dick, hon.

          • djcoastermark

            It already posted it, it’s so tiny though, you can’t see it.

          • Stephen Elliot Phillips

            I think cheetolini is drunk and buzzed again on blow and came on here to entertain himself

          • Lumpy Gaga

            “I see twelve people.”

          • another_steve

            No, sweetie.

            We’re having fun with him/her/it.

          • venka

            Truth is so exotic to you it would be viewed as a form of entertainment since it’s gotten your attention successfully like a rainbow coloured dildo with matching rimseat that your ordered on ‘cock friday’ sale at gays.com.

          • another_steve

            “Matching rimseat”?

            The “matching” part appeals to me, but the rest escapes me.

        • Todd20036

          Where were you when 100s of Marines were murdered in their barracks in Lebanon during the Reagan years?

          Where were you when 600 people died in embassy attacks during the W years?

          Where were you when 1000s of Americans were killed in Iraq for a war that didn’t need to happen and was based on a lie?

          When you complain about all that, THEN you can complain about 4 dead americans who lost their lives because the GOTP cut the security budget.

          • ernest

            To use liberal logic that was a long time ago and has nothing to do with the present since liberals are allergic to history and facts as a group since you fall for Any nonsense that doesn’t have any truth in it. Try again fatty. You failed again like your mommy always told you.

          • Todd20036

            Says the idiot complaining about something that happened “a long time ago”.

            And this is the definition of trolling. You offer nothing as far as facts go.

            And if you think I’m fat, then you must be anorexic.

          • another_steve

            Ernest, why not post a selfie of your dick here? I want to see it.

            I want to see if there’s any redeeming reason whatsoever for your existence.

          • Todd20036

            I think “ernest” and “poli” are the same person.

            Sure has the same “writing style”

          • Tor

            Yes. There was that flip of names at “Can’t flag me.”

          • ernest

            And sites with zero controls on them for anonymous comments are perfect for it. Amazing when you know what a computer is and how to use it for more than just being an insufferable liberal twat-waffle

          • another_steve

            “Twat-waffle”?

            The next “Word of the Year”?

          • venka

            Well, that IS your family nickname for you but you’re to ashamed of your sexuality to admit the name fits you like a custom dildo

          • another_steve

            I’m impressed that you know that “you’re” is a contraction for “you are.”

            You must be considered an absolute scholar on Breitbart.

            (Btw, you meant “too.”)

          • bkmn

            bonus points for that one steve!

          • Stephen Elliot Phillips

            Theres scholars on breitbart? Like omg!

          • Acronym Jim

            “homescholers”

          • bkmn

            Does your family have a name for gay blog trolling?

          • Stephen Elliot Phillips

            Not a name….a sentence.
            “Im so bored with screwing my sister”

          • ByronK

            I thought we were now in the time considered post-twat-waffle! So confusing!

          • another_steve

            No, hon. “Post-gay.”

            Please keep current.

          • ByronK

            I’m getting too old for this shit… lol

          • BobSF_94117

            Is it hyphenated?!?! Oh, no.

          • olandp

            I think I hear your mother calling you up for dinner.

            “He’ll be there in a few minutes Mrs, Haskell, right after he finishes Todd’s blowjob.”

          • Stephen Elliot Phillips

            In the basement

          • Stephen Elliot Phillips

            Oh we are sooo insulted. Lol.

          • another_steve

            I so hate it when the trolls can’t properly conjugate verbs.

            I mean, really…

            Has the world lost all its standards?

          • perversatile

            2 x 0 = 0
            So it can’t do math either.

          • Nic Peterson

            It’s that Arabic numbering system that gets them every time. Who needs 0 anyway?

          • Stephen Elliot Phillips

            Trolls dont last long here….well except a couple. We are too smart, snarky and venemous. Hehe

          • Gustav2

            Stupid is as stupid does.

          • ernest

            Todd, the worst name of them all. Why does your mommy hate you so much to give you the worst male name ever? Why not change it to muhammed since it would be more liberal friendly?

          • another_steve

            I like “Todd.”

            It’s sexy, in a 1970s porn type of way.

          • venka

            No one cares about what you like. You’re supposed to be worried about what all the other homo’s think and they all think 70’s porno names should go the way of the 70s porn mustache. Evidence backs this up and you’re just embarrassing yourself at this point.

          • bkmn

            Gee you spend a lot of time on gay blogs…do you need to come out?

          • venka

            Gee, Joe does the same thing but you only cry like a bitch when you yourself have to defend what you believe in. You need to go to Pulse nightclub and learn what a tragedy that was and how Islamic Radicalism is to blame instead of worrying about Christians that aren’t doing this all over the world as of late. If your ideas ‘are the best evah’ than why do you shut down any challenge to them if they are good enough to stand on their own merits? Liberal educators sure got u by the balls just like they wanted.

          • Stephen Elliot Phillips

            I think bill perdue has a new alias and writing style. Lol

          • another_steve

            Oh… so you know from the 70s porn mustache, hon.

            The William Higgins stuff, babe?

            Don’t be ashamed.

          • venka

            Snuff films from the 70s are illegal. Just like your 70s NAMBLA porn. Sure you deny it but the first decade of the ‘gay community’ NAMBLA held a prominent media operation but the butt hurt folks in Chelsea decided to discriminate against men who are biologically drawn to children. The APA even supported it by their silence on the topic. Go back to your mommies tits since you’re an adult baby.

          • another_steve

            Well I do like the Czech twinks. The Bel Ami boys. Legal age, of course. It’s no secret here on JMG. Anyone who reads my dreck here knows it.

            When may I expect to see a selfie of your penis?

          • Talisman

            There’s nothing wrong with porn. For some of us, it’s the closest we get to intimacy…

          • another_steve

            Sexual desire/lust and “intimacy,” in my mind, can on occasion cross, but are not identical.

            The association of sexual desire with “significance” is, in my opinion, a sad inheritance of ours from institutional religion.

          • perversatile

            Is this venka or poli or ernest? No worries, Sybil says when you’ve finished sodomizing yourself with mommy’s button hook to please clean it off and return it.

          • Stephen Elliot Phillips

            Vicious is definitely ur color!

          • perversatile

            Thanks! 😈

          • bkmn

            How’s that Medicare privatization going for you ernie?

          • venka

            You want joe herself to give you a daily enema? That’s not covered by insurance since it’s an elective procedure. That’s gonna have to cum from your own twat-pocket.

          • bkmn

            That will be very hard if you have to have that treatment yourself at a VA medical center once Sarah Palin takes over. You can kiss all veterans services goodbye while Mooselini builds another mansion for her and her inbred family.

          • venka

            Vets are Dying In Line now. ANYTHING is an improvement. Since you never served or know a service person it’s clear you need to be taught respect for those that use the VA since pampered twat-waffles aren’t important to the armed services that protect your gay marriages as much as they protect freedom of speech. You’re such an embarrassment lets hope your mommy never finds out how libcucktarded you turned out. She’ll cry harder than when she found out you’re a billary voter.

          • bkmn

            I never served but I have known many servicepeople and love them more than you love yourself and your hatred. All of them have been very proud of the excellent care they have gotten at the VA. I used to work in the medical field and saw firsthand how good the folks that work at the VA take care of the vets. I have seen firsthand how good the care is and it is top notch. Have there been some facilities that need work? Yes but not the whole damn thing. Palin will wreck the VA. You can bank on that.

            And you are so focused on the gay thing that I really have to question why you spend so much time on a gay blog.

          • venka

            Well, you’re not fooling anyone since you have such a mean and dismissive attitude towards the VA and those who serve. Thanks to libcucktarded soros-funded twat-brigades it’s cool to chant ‘fuck the police. fry em like bacon’. Fuck off with your fake concern. You don’t know shit about the armed forces community cuz if you Did know actual Armed Service personnel you wouldn’t have such a shitty attitude and it shows. You and Todd should get ‘gay married’ to distract yourself from the reality around you that you refuse accept or participate in. Just bitch on blogs like the great Joe ‘twat-copter’ Jervis.

          • bkmn

            I respect those who serve and I feel they deserve better than they will see from the incoming administration of corruption and insider trading and inept leadership Trump is assembling.

          • ByronK

            I think what we’re witnessing here is more evidence of the need for a more robust response to the increasingly pervasive mental health issues among the general public.

          • another_steve

            Well said.

            These things are cyclical, I believe.

            In the fullness of time, evolution purges that which is, in the long run, not useful.

          • DaveW

            The scary thing is I work with someone named Venka. Could This be him???????

            He is in Bangalore. I think not.

          • Talisman

            I’ve serviced…

            oh, wait, that’s a different thing….

          • another_steve

            ^^ Slut.

          • Talisman

            If only….

            If 7 years of abstinence makes one a slut, then I’d be the Queen of Whores.

          • Stephen Elliot Phillips

            Bless ur heart!

          • DaveW

            My uncle’s VA nurse drove two hours to his funeral, telling us stories about his last days of her kind treatment. We ran out of tissues.

          • Skokieguy [Larry]

            And let’s not forget that the Trump trolls are voting for a party that voted against increasing funding for VA healthcare, along with voting against increasing funding for embassy security.

            Cowards for their online tough guy acts and stupid for such blind loyalty to a party that is screwing them and our nation.

          • bkmn

            Jesus loves you this I know, for Trump tells me so. And I believed Trump once….and got screwed.

            He will screw you too, in a heartbeat.

          • djcoastermark

            that’s gross, worthy of a bleach douche.

          • Wow. “Libcucktarded?” You’ve mutated a stupid insult into a stupider insult?

          • Stephen Elliot Phillips

            Jesus christ they LOVE that cuck word. Do they not realize cuck isnt quite the insult in the gay community as it is in the breeder one?

          • Mark

            Better jump back lorreta. I am a Vet and I use the VA. And I love men. I believe three out of three is a homerun – which is different from you cuz you just need to run on home. So, go on now…scoot on down the road….

          • DaveW

            His posts do make a sound argument for investing in education. Some value here.

            Conjugation? Can’t even get the tense to match.

          • another_steve

            ^^ Lol.

            Perfect, bkmn. 😉

          • Stephen Elliot Phillips

            Medicaid…..he 25 and doesnt have a job

          • Todd20036

            Junior, with a name like Ernest, you really shouldn’t be making fun of names.

            Watch a few of the “Ernest goes to…” movies

            Frankly, I like “Todd”. It’s not that common.

          • another_steve

            I can honestly say I’ve never known a “Todd.”

            “Steves” are a dime a dozen, but not Todds.

          • Stephen Elliot Phillips

            Gay steves seem to be even more common.

          • Robincho

            “Gay necrophilia is fun,” said Frank, in dead Ernest…

          • JCF

            *groan*

          • Acronym Jim

            Ernest is from Oklahoma?

          • Stephen Elliot Phillips

            Yeah the style is uneducated and juvenile

          • ColdCountry

            Wow! Were you sick the day they covered punctuation?

          • ernest

            You were sick when they covered how not to be a twat-like douche and grow up to be an embarrassment to your family by possessing zero coping skills? No one on the right cried when bammy won. 8 years of hard work and all 3 chambers are in Republican control. Why not learn instead of bitch?

          • perversatile

            Psychologically damaged individuals often experience the physical sensations of having bugs crawling all over their bodies and burrowing under their skin, Sometimes there really are bugs crawling all over your body and burrowing under you skin.
            You’re psychologically damaged and actually have bugs burrowing under your skin. -Seek professional help.

          • another_steve

            Morgellons Disease. It’s a documented thing.

            Joni Mitchell — Queen of the Universe — is said to suffer (or have suffered) from it.

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morgellons

          • ByronK

            All hail Joni!

          • another_steve
          • ByronK

            One of my faves with a great back story…

            “Jeremy Lublock heard a jam we did — Klein and Vinnie and Landau and me. It was unfinished. I had thrown on a scratch, scat vocal. Henry played it for him. He loved it. He said to Henry, “Let me put some strings on it — I have to put strings on it! She can take them off if she doesn’t like them but I hear them — I have to do it.” So, the beautiful string arrangement on TWO GREY ROOMS went on. That track remained unfinished — sitting on a shelf — waiting for the words. It took me years to find the right story. When I did, I edited the strings ever so slightly. The story I found was strange but true. A German aristocrat — a gay man — had a lover in his youth who he never got over. He lost contact with him for many years. Then, somehow, he rediscovered him. He was a dock worker — hard hat — lunch pail. The aristocrat left his fancy digs and rented two grey rooms above street level. From this shabby perch, he was able to watch the object of his obsession going to and coming back from work. He never tried to make contact as far as I know. Unrequited love. “……

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjDi_plwi5A

          • another_steve

            Thanks for that, Byron. Much appreciated.

            Joni Mitchell just, by happenstance, hit me in my “sweet spot.”

            I was in need, and she and her music presented.

          • perversatile

            I was thinking of simple terrestrial formication, though if you take Joni’s titular position as Queen of the Universe under consideration, she may very well have picked up the Morgellons while traveling in outer space carrying out her reginal duties.

          • another_steve

            I worry about Joni. I’ve not kept current on her condition, but I know she continues to have health issues and the like.

            Girl severely severely influenced my life in the 1970s.

            I’m very much a product of Joni Mitchell’s music.

          • perversatile

            The price of devotion, is to live a life she would be proud of.

          • vorpal

            You really do seem to hate “twats” and spend a lot of time thinking about “libcuckturded” gay people.

            Try remembering to take your medications today, wait an hour or two, and then realize how stupid you’re making yourself look.

          • ColdCountry

            Gee, it’s almost as if you know me! Seriously, no one on the right cried when Obama won? How about the Marmalade Messiah, who has STILL not let go of birtherism?

          • another_steve

            ColdCountry, it happens.

            I was out with the flu the day Mrs. Sullivan in the fourth grade taught geography.

            To this day, I can’t find Europe on a map.

          • olandp

            You may be eligible for Secretary of State, send in your resume.

          • Talisman

            Average American, then?

          • Paula

            Average Trump American.

          • Lumpy Gaga

            Trumpish.
            Trumpadian
            Ethnic Trump

          • ByronK

            Trumpdashian
            Trumpador
            Trumpolian
            Trumpigenous

          • perversatile

            I may win the internet today.
            Trumpe-l’œil- meant to deceive the viewer
            or an overweening desire to appear legitimate.

          • Paula

            Europe sank just after Atlantis did. The survivors moved to Cucamonga.

          • thatotherjean

            Killfile is such a lovely thing. Bye!

          • fetty

            Your gay husband just said Bye to you, for good. This is your coping mechanism. We get it. You’re a miserable twat-copter.

          • Todd20036

            LOL He cannot read your comment

          • ByronK

            What’s this, number 4?

          • Mike__in_Houston

            Can’t be. The magic number is “three,” as in “stooges.” (Apologies to the real Three Stooges whom I love.)

          • thatotherjean

            Sweetheart, I’ll bet I’m straighter than you are. Not lesbian, married to the same guy for a loooooong time. I hang out with folks not like me because they’re smart, funny, engaging people, from whom I can learn something—unlike present company. Bye to you, too.

          • bkmn

            You and all your alter-egos are spending a lot of time on a gay blog. Do you need to talk ernest? Sure seems like it.

          • Stephen Elliot Phillips

            He doesnt need to talk he needs a dick up his ass. Best cure for supressed homo-ism

          • Matt M

            Can one of the flying monkeys find this ass hats’s IP address and put a physical address on it? Thanks!

          • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild

            Darling, its a troll. Simply flag, block, ignore and move on. Engaging them only encourages them.

          • Vedadmccarthy

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !mj73d:
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !mj73d:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash73TopServerGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!mj73d:….,……

          • Stephen Elliot Phillips

            Spot on todd!

        • bkmn

          How is your retirement fund doing? I really hope it is very well funded since Trump’s Treasury nominee from Goldman Sachs will suck every last penny out of any and all investments you may have.

          How stupid are you?

        • Stop it. NOBODY is making light of four dead Americans. They’re making light of the political football that “Benghazi” has become. It long ago stopped being about what really happened. They turned it from a tragedy that happened TO us to a scandalous conspiracy BY us. If you’re going to turn your ire to anyone, turn it to those who politicized this for their own ends.

    • poli

      The emails that were hacked by foriegn intelligence agencies since 2013? That’s funny you are so one-sided. People died because of her misuse of confidential information. Glad it’s so funny to you that dead Americans makes you laugh hysterically, like billary when they kill an enemy. You give homosexuals a bad name. Joe should teach you self-fisting instead of reblogging liberal talking points, badly.

      • another_steve

        “Self-fisting”?

        Is that possible?

        I might try it.

        • Tor

          I saw it in a film once. I think it was at an art house.

          • another_steve

            Well I’ll have to look into it.

            At my age, any stimulation is useful.

          • BobSF_94117

            I’m pretty sure it would require the limberness of youth to accomplish.

          • djcoastermark

            I saw it too. talk about a contortionist.

        • ernest

          You just proved that liberals are the most gullible libcucktarded group out there!! Lol. Do continue your unhinged liberal rantings instead of being useful complain for a living while your working family members support you well past the time you should have moved to the streets or bath house or where ever it is liberal douches are welcome which is only in gayborhoods. You did this to yourself and your racism only insulates you from reality.

        • Mike_in_the_Tundra

          Should it get stuck up there, how will you explain your contortions to the ER doc?

      • Lumpy Gaga

        poli’s a cracker.

        • ernest

          Your actions show you to be a racist fuck wad liberal. Only a libcucktard would be ‘gay proud’ of calling a trans POC a ‘Nazi’.
          Isn’t your mommy expecting you to cry in her tits to lull her to sleep? “Lumpy my titties need you”, better get goin or you’ll make her mad and Lumpy is easily emotionally manipulated. Nazi, thats the best you can do libcuckfucktard?

      • aar9n

        Oh look someone to laughs at and block.

    • IamM

      And ironically her email doesn’t seem to have been hacked, unlike many for example the State Department’s.

    • Kate

      Bringing in Petreaus would be absolutely ridiculous – nobody who mishandles classified information belongs anywhere near government.

  • Moebym of the Rebel Alliance
  • BearEyes

    It’s amazing to me that Betrayed US is even being considered given what a security risk he is.

    • another_steve

      I assume that in Trump’s administration, Julian Assange will be offered a Cabinet position.

    • Todd20036

      You really don’t think Trump gives a shit about such niceties, do you?

      All he cares about is rewarding his sycophants.

      Doesn’t matter if they are risks, or incompetents or inexperienced.

      • Tor

        That’s why RMoney makes no sense. I just think Trump wanted to watch him grovel.

    • Brian in Valdosta

      Particularly since he has made such a CASE about Hillary’s use of a private server, even though the FBI cleared her of any wrong-doing. TWICE!

      • thatotherjean

        IOKIYAR

    • Hue-Man

      Any foreign secretary would have to assume that he would not guard their discussions secret. How could he do his job if no one in the world will talk to him about anything but the weather?

  • AtticusP

    Every day a new low.

    Donald Trump: the gift that keeps on giving.

    • BearEyes

      #MostCorruptAdministrationEver

      • Todd20036

        Nixon would be relieved to hear that.

    • Robincho

      The grift that keeps on giving. To Drümpf…

  • houstonray

    Jeezus….I wake up every day thinking maybe this was all just a bad dream…but our long National nightmare has only just begun…

  • Mike C

    What a swamp!

  • Dramphooey

    This is all going according to plan. I have just obtained a photo of Petraeus’ parole officer. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cd43a813bbff44702f8c5d8533558620903007fdcaa4cd083e42d0afe9351650.jpg

    • Todd20036

      SHe’s prettier than Kellyanne

      • Tor

        Very faint praise, indeed.

        • Todd20036

          She looks less like a cartoon character than Kellyanne

        • Mike__in_Houston

          Shit, yeah. Ann Coulter is prettier than Kellyanne. And Charles Bronson is prettier than Ann Coulter.

      • BudClark

        Honey, a vat of slurry is prettier than Kellyanne.

    • Anastasia Beaverhousen

      Tell me Boris darlink how we get rid of man with hair like squirrel?

  • Gay Fordham Prep Grad

    I think it’s going to be Romney; Petreus has demonstrated an inability to control his mistress, and for Trump that is a character flaw that cannot be overlooked.

    • Lazycrockett

      Ghoulini.

    • another_steve

      Rule #1 for controlling Republican concubines:

      Withhold payment for the Botox treatments until obedience is obtained.

      • Brian in Valdosta

        Or, tell them that the loan on their boob job is about to come due, and if they don’t tow the line, you’d going to let the back repossess.

        Repub concubines ain’t too smartz.

      • Michael R
        • Todd20036

          I would think Ladybird would win that title.

          • Michael R

            Did they have Botox back then ?

          • Todd20036

            No, but Ladybird knows that there isn’t enough silicone in the late Joan Rivers to keep his face up

          • Tor

            Ladybird Bachman?

    • John Kusters

      Out of all appointees, either made or speculated, Romney for SoS is actually a relatively sane choice, at least as sane as a typical Republican appointment. Yes, I’m quite aware that’s faint praise. 🙂

      • TuuxKabin

        All the more reason I think it’ll be ghouliani, Agent Orange has been playing cat n’ mouse with R$oney, just to amuse himself.

        • Tor

          He just wanted to watch him eat some humble pie.

      • 2guysnamedjoe

        I don’t think he’s any better than the rest of them. He just talks nice, and he knows where to go to have his hair done.

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    OT: Just out of curiosity, the few of you that still talk to Trumpeteer relatives/friends/whatever, have they expressed any doubts or qualms about his actions so far?

    • Gay Fordham Prep Grad

      Nope, they still think he’s better than Cheeze-wiz on Wonder bread.

      • Todd20036

        That… sounds… so gross!

        Guess i’m a food-snob

        • another_steve

          Don’t knock Cheez Whiz.

          White bread, yes.

          But not Cheez Whiz.

          • Todd20036

            I prefer brie or goat cheese.

            Of course, most of the red meat I eat is bison, so yeah.

            I’m fru-fru when it comes to food.

          • 2guysnamedjoe

            But brie doesn’t come in an aerosol can! Who wants that?

          • another_steve

            I like brie, but it’s too complicated when I’m drunk. I end up eating paper and shit.

            You have good taste, Todd.

    • safari

      No.

    • Brian in Valdosta

      I have only one relative who voted for Herr Drumpf: my older brother. He lives with my mum (insert lame joke about unemployed 52-year-old who lives in a back room at his mum’s house), and I spent four days over the Thanksgiving holiday with them.

      He never mentioned Drumpf’s name once.

      Curious.

      • Robincho

        Prolly because he didn’t want you cramming the pope’s nose up his ass…

      • Skeptical_Inquirer

        The Trumpeteers I see online tend to be loud and proud.

        • Tor

          They are, for now. I’d like to hear what they say in four years.

          • ColdCountry

            It’ll all be Obama’s fault.

          • KCMC

            won’t make it 2 years. If that.

    • They deleted themselves. Although now I have a few anti-Hillary “leftists” on my facebook saying I ought to give Trump a chance and that he’s “not that bad”. I blocked one already.

      • Todd20036

        You know, I’m actually wealthy enough that even if Trump all but guts Social Security and Medicare, I’ll still be ok.

        And yet, I still hate that fascist tub of lard with a passion because of the damage he will do to virtually every minority you can think of in this country.

        But I am pleased that much of his base is going to get screwed 6 ways over as a result of their vote.

        • Tor

          My sister is one of them. She’s 64, works two barely minimum wage jobs, has some sort of minimal health insurance, and always votes R. She’d be homeless, except for the fact that she is live-in housemother to some women with disabilities.
          I don’t enjoy seeing her get screwed over, so I hope she wakes up one day when the little she has is gone. Of course she’ll find a way to blame Obama.

          • 2guysnamedjoe

            She’ll vote R again in 2020, muttering as she heads for the polls: “It’ll take 4 more years to clean up Obummer’s mess. And Drumpf promised he’ll get my Medicare back.”

          • Tor

            Sad, but true.

      • Treant

        “All we are saying…is give Trump a chance!”

        (after his first affair’s discovered, let’s change “a chance” to “his pants.”)

    • TuuxKabin

      Crickets. No body’s talking to each other. Everyone’s dead to the other. So be it.

    • djcoastermark

      good question and a good topic for discussion.

    • fuzzybits

      Went to a family b’day party a couple weeks ago where several voted for him and not a peep.

      • Skeptical_Inquirer

        So are they just not talking about him & pretending they never voted for him or is it more that they don’t have anything bad to say about him?

        • fuzzybits

          Oh some would admit to voting for him but I think it was just a matter of not stirring shit during a 13 year olds party. I was kind of glad. It has been talked about briefly during phone calls.

          • houstonray

            Going to a 5 year old great nephews bday this weekend, avoided hubby’s family thanksgiving. They love us and support us but then voted Trump, not sure they get it and I just can’t argue the point anymore. Anyway, hoping the same thing, the bday party is not the place. I’ll just hang around the kids and that should be ok.

            But no words from them even on Facebook. Not sure if they just are in denial and never expected it to really happen, I just have no words at times.

    • Ninja0980

      Haven’t talked to them so nope.
      My BOB cousin still blames Democrats for “rigging” it against St. Bernie so she has no problems with what is going on now.

    • KCMC

      avoided all topics at Thanksgiving. Flew in, flew out.
      Thankful for anti-anxiety rx.

      • BudClark

        Living on Sertraline and Lorazepam, here …

    • Dramphooey

      Too early for the loud ones.

    • Paula

      My Trumpie sister can only say “He’s gonna’ make the military strong again!”
      I don’t quite get that. Nobody in my family is in the military anymore. Her husband is retired Army. I guess she thinks that it will mean more retirement pay for her husband.
      This is the sister that the rest of us gave the nickname “stupid.” So there is that.

      • fuzzybits

        Just like my one sister who parroted the comment that Hillary was a liar.

        • Ernest Endevor

          I fired my trainer when he referred to Clinton as a ‘criminal’.

    • Michael R

      I walked off on my family in 1981 , which has
      had disadvantages over the years but is paying off now .

  • Lazycrockett

    So Drumpf is gonna start pardoning people at the beginning of his tenure. What could possible go wrong.

  • Nowhereman

    Well at least he didn’t send the secrets to her on his private email server… (snark. It helps prevent me from gagging.)

  • Lazycrockett

    Maddow is really breaking down the Carrier deal tonight.

    • DaddyRay

      Fortune reports that the actual sum is even smaller. The company has pledged to keep 850 jobs in the U.S. that would otherwise have gone to Mexico, while also retaining some headquarters and engineering jobs that would have moved to Charlotte, North Carolina.

      Since the company had originally put more than 2,000 at risk — 1,400 at the Indianapolis plant and 700 at the Huntington plant owned by Carrier’s parent company, United Technologies — the difference between those numbers mean that at least some production will move south of the border and more than half of the jobs will go with it. Fortune reports that 1,300 jobs will go to Mexico: 600 from the Indianapolis plant and the 700 in Huntington.

      • djcoastermark

        That is something most everyone will never hear of. Trumpers will just say the usual, see look, he is our savior, saving us from those horrible other countries. Clueless again.

  • SoCalGal20

    Update on #NoDAPL. The pipeline people start losing money and contracts in Jan. if they can’t finish it so keep doing what you can to help the protest.

    https://twitter.com/mattmcgorry/status/804146438418534400

  • Anastasia Beaverhousen

    The old is forever new… LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP!

  • So how many billionaire, criminals, racists, billionaire-racists-criminals are we going to be stuck with?

    • DaddyRay

      All of them

      • Lumpy Gaga

        Jenny! You lookin’ good, girl. Now get back to swabbin’.

  • SoCalGal20

    LMAO Ann Coulter is having a meltdown on Twitter about the Medicare thing. More interesting are the comments on her feed from Trump voters who are pissed and yelling about having voted for Trump on immigration, not for him to privatize Medicare. Also lots of hate for Paul Ryan. Y’all made your bed. Suck it up, assholes.

    https://twitter.com/anncoulter/status/802755958191468548

    EDIT: This tweet is from the other day but it just appeared on my twitter feed.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      Jesus Christ, I hate those Trump voters who didn’t understand this basic fucking equation:

      GOP = threats to Medicare.

      Also, I’d love to see a link to them bashing her.

      • SoCalGal20

        There’s a link to Ann’s tweet and you see the comments there. They’re bashing Ryan and Trump.

      • Cuberly

        This really is Brexit 2.0 isn’t it.

        Enter the OOPS!

        • Lumpy Gaga

          With extra Nigel Farage!!!!

    • fuzzybits

      As Olivia Soprano would’ve said,”oh poor you.”

    • Cuberly

      I saw that, but didn’t want to post her tweets. Hate to agree with her but she’s right when it comes to medicare.

      Josh Marshall posted this earlier. Looks like what started as a unified voice in favor of medicare privatization is beginning to crack.

      http://talkingpointsmemo.com/dc/gop-senators-medicare-prviatization-and-ocare-repeal-may-be-too-much

      • SoCalGal20

        I normally wouldn’t post her tweets but this is one of the rare occasions since it’s both amusing and one of those super rare instances I actually agree with her. Aldo important to note how some on the other side are talking about some of these issues.

        • Michael R

          It must be something that affects her personally , the way Reagan could care about Alzheimer’s Research but not AIDS

          • SoCalGal20

            I saw a comment to her tweet where someone was asked why they didn’t see Medicare as an entitlement and they said because they pay into it it’s not an entitlement, unlike Obamacare where people are subsidized. Maybe that’s Ann’s reasoning.

          • Michael R

            She might recognize the political suicide of just destroying everything that is in any way beneficial to people .

          • Cuberly

            Every time the GOP has held the reigns they’ve made motions to privatize social programs. And every time they get their asses handed to them.

            Remember W’s goal to privatize social security..yada yada….

          • Michael R

            I remember him saying investing your money was better than social security , followed by a crash where a lot of people lost everything , most peoples memories don’t seem to go back that far .

          • Cuberly

            I remember that, I also remember getting into an argument with a relative about it. Alas, the argument went nowhere.

            Almost every time I encounter this I try to use the FDIC argument. But even then it doesn’t seem to register.

          • Talisman

            Not to add fuel to the fire, but I work in the financial industry. We are an outsourcing firm, providing software and services to banks. The crash of ’08 had a negligible effect on us for about the first few years. We had a few failed clients taken over or sold off by the FDIC, or bought out as banks have consolidated. The cumulative effect finally started affecting our business in 2013. There was little growth in our niche of the market, and we ended up having a long series of layoffs and budget cuts. I’m the only person left in my group (doing the work of 4), and the number of people in our building has dwindled from around 130 to about 25. They cut our training department completely, and then cut the telephone support to nothing – it was only after repeated complaints about the declining level of service that the company realized how important those services are. And on and on….morale in our division is as low as it gets, and we’ve lost so many people not just to layoff, but to fear about the future.

            And now the dumpster, and Republican control of Congress. People don’t know just how many regulations there are that protect your financial assets, and the Repugs are all too willing to toss them aside. Just like Glass-Steagall protected our economy for nearly 70 years, and it’s repeal directly led to the ’08 crisis – it’ll be a disaster.

            Americans have no sense of the future – most only care about right now – do I have the money for *this month’s* rent/mortgage, for groceries *this week*, for gas in my car *today*. We are all too willing to sell the future to be sure we survive today. And that plays right into the Republican’s hands.

          • Cuberly

            Heard a NPR interview with a “conservative” finance professional where he said that Trump wanted to roll back a few of the protections put in place since the 2008 melt-down, but they were open to keeping some protections in place.

            I have no answer as to why or how so many voters clip their own wings.

          • BudClark

            Yeah. Just before the stock market crashed. Now wouldn’t THAT have been a lovely mess!

          • tcinsf

            Always remember, in GOP an “entitlement” is what “the other”people get. Any government benefit Republicans receive from the government is “earned.”

    • Jerry Kott

      And they didn’t see this coming? He play his supporters and just blew smoke up their asses. His supporters will do the work for us.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      The Trumpster is probably going “Wait this was about going after DOES PEOPLE, not trying to wipe me out!”

    • bkmn

      Privatizing Medicare was one of the first phrases out of Paul Ryan’s mouth after the election. Cause the Koch brothers need to shove millions in their pockets. And the GOP base fell for all of it. ALL OF IT.

      • Cuberly

        But that’s the thing. Trump on multiple occasions, including during one of the Prez debates said Medicare and SS were off limits.

        SS & Medicare reform was NOT big on his agenda. If it was, he’d have been uber-screwed. However privatization of both is part of the GOP platform.

        • Snarkaholic

          If/when he signs the bill(s) into law, they’ll run, er, waddle up to Chump Tower, brandishing their pitchforks and torches!

  • the long night of the long knives has hardly even begun

    • billbear1961
      • djcoastermark

        Yeah ! For a musical interlude. Those old lullaby’s were quite odd weren’t they?

      • I’m disappointed, not even a bouncing ball?

    • Lumpy Gaga

      It will actually be more like a thousand tiny cuts, methinks.

      • billbear1961

        Until they launch the missiles.

        • Lumpy Gaga

          “Rock me, Dave Petraeus!”

          — dead children under the rubble

        • Treant
          • billbear1961

            Aw, c’mon, I hear you protest. Somebody will survive.

            Perhaps. Possibly. Probably.

            But that’s not the point. We all love after-the-bomb stories. If we didn’t, why would there be so many of them? There’s something attractive about all those people being gone, about wandering in a depopulated world, scrounging cans of Campbell’s pork and beans, defending one’s family from marauders. Sure, it’s horrible, sure we weep for all those dead people. But some secret part of us thinks it would be good to survive, to start all over.

            Secretly, we know we’ll survive. All those other folks will die. That’s what after-the-bomb stories are all about.

            All those after-the-bomb stories were lies. Lies, lies, lies.

            This is the only true after-the-bomb story you will ever read.

            Everybody dies. Your father and mother are decapitated and crushed by a falling building. Rats eat their severed heads. Your husband is disemboweled. Your wife is blinded, flashburned, and gropes along a street of cinders until fear-crazed dogs eat her alive. Your brother and sister are incinerated in their homes, their bodies turned into fine powdery ash by firestorms. Your children … ah, I’m sorry, I hate to tell you this, but your children live a long time. three eternal days. They spend those days puking their guts out, watching the flesh fall from their bodies, smelling the gangrene in their lacerated feet, and asking you why it happened. But you aren’t there to tell them. I already told you how you died.

            It’s what you pay your taxes for.

          • William

            Well, that’s cast rather a pall over the evening.

  • fuzzybits

    Something a little more soothing. Cat mother love is wonderful. https://i.redd.it/zkzto7qcqr0y.gif

    • djcoastermark

      Oh dear gawd. one angry mom is going to be so upset. Fuzzybits advocates pussy licking.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      Pussy Show!

      • DaddyRay

        Kitty porn

    • Cuberly

      “Mom, you missed a spot.”

  • Ninja0980

    Great, the conservatives are having a meltdown over a Buzzfeed article about Chip and Joanna Gaines and how the church they attend is anti-gay.
    I will say the article is poorly written but it’s not the target lynch mob the folks on the right are claiming it is.
    And it sure as hell won’t be like the war Republicans will be waging on us starting next year.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      Didn’t know whosit-whatsit.

      Had to Google.

      From the first hit:

      Hosts Chip and Joanna Gaines have not only made Waco, Texas a tourist destination, but they’ve also[…]

      Yeah, stopped reading right there. [Edit: Oh FFS, written by Todd Starnes…]

      • The Return of Traxley

        Never trust anyone named Chip, Skip, Tucker, Parker, Scott, Tripp, or Cash.

        • Treant

          And if a guy’s nickname is “Topper,” you should probably realize what that implies.

          • The Return of Traxley

            He’s a bossy bottom who drives a Fiat, Mini Cooper, or a 1997 Ford Contour that belonged to his great aunt from Sioux Falls.

          • coram nobis

            A hairpiece?

        • Lumpy Gaga

          Chip with the Good Hair.

          • The Return of Traxley

            They all have good hair, and their dads own a Mercedes dealership.

      • Ninja0980

        Alas, it’s already on social media as proof of the latest “war” on Christians and religious freedom blah blah blah.

      • William

        Waco, a tourist destination? It only takes ten minutes to see the highlights, then the Greyhound bus pulls out of the station.

  • Dot Beech

    OH, FOR FUCK’S SAKE!

    Is Trump able to pardon Petraeus for his crimes AND simultaneously nominate him for Secretary of State?

    • worstcultever

      pretty much my mantra anymore

  • worstcultever

    It’s quite infuriating to look at Petraeus’s stupid face and think of the suffering that’s been inflicted on Chelsea Manning, or the endless harassment of Hillary Clinton

    repuke boys’ club – zero accountability always and forever; everybody else – LOCK HER UP, KILL THE B*TCH etc etc

    speaking of repuke boys club – I wonder what DC steakhouse the carefree Comey was spotted at tonight

    • Lumpy Gaga

      And it’s not like we’re talking about major, unique talent, here.

      Man was a hack on his best days.

  • The Return of Traxley

    I just can’t with this abominable shitshow anymore.

    Really, I can’t.

    • Silver Badger

      Drink a cup of hot chamomile tea and get some rest. It will be easier to deal with in the morning.

      • billbear1961

        For an hour or two, sweetie.

      • The Return of Traxley

        It’s the usual. Cheap, but acceptable, California pinot noir.

        I don’t work tomorrow. It’s all good.

        • worstcultever

          upvote for not working tomorrow

          • djcoastermark

            Hamburger Mary’s St Pete tomorrow, it’s $3 Long Islands and of course, a show. Great way to spend a day off.

      • BudClark

        I’m SERIOUSLY considering a Smirnoff’s and Summer’s Eve douche.

  • Here’s a good argument that sums up Trump supporters including the ones on this blog:

    “Yes, I know. You can’t make people respect you. Voting for a bankrupt blowhard didn’t change that.”

    “Yes, I know. Your argument sucks. Threatening me with Trump doesn’t make it any better. It doesn’t even stop us all from noticing how bad it is.”

    “Yes, I know. You voted for someone who promised you your skin color would mean something again. Pity you can’t compete otherwise.”

    “Yes, I know. All the women are mean to you. Did you actually believe Trump when he implied he’d fix that for you?”

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      My version would be:

      “Yes, I know. You can’t make employers settle for someone who refuses to get anything beyond a high school degree who refuses to do any commuting and may or may not be addicted to opioids.”

      “Yes, I know. Your manager is black/Latino/female/Asian/etc. There is nothing wrong with that.”

      “Yes, I know. You thought that that you’d get to scream at people you hated in public and be congratulated instead of being mocked by the world as the video went viral.”

  • Cuberly

    OT: Sanity break! Marmot alert! Love the funky sounds marmot’s and pika make. When you’re hiking above tree-line and you hear them “meeping” and “squawking”. Cuz you’re hiking a little to close to an area they really don’t want you to be near.

    https://twitter.com/theaterofscifi/status/804161627142688768

    • The Return of Traxley

      THANK YOU

      • Cuberly

        Sigh….we have to hang in there. And know when to take breaks. 😉

    • SoCalGal20

      Awwww I love them! So adorable. I have no idea what sorts of sounds marmots or pikas make but they sure are adorable. For adorable sounding animals, though, one of my favorites is Teddy the porcupine. Also, just plain adorable!. There’s a bunch of videos of Teddy on that channel btw.

      https://youtu.be/cILZ_cB3_so

      • djcoastermark

        Teddy ! I used to follow Teddy a while back. I’ve got to check out if he’s still doing his thing. He’s too cool.

        • SoCalGal20

          It looks like the last Teddy video was 9 months ago. 🙁

          • djcoastermark

            🙁 I could watch him for hours.

          • SoCalGal20

            I think he’s still ok. There’s nothing on his webpage indicating otherwise. Here’s his most recent video.

            https://youtu.be/MzxWkkU5rHQ

      • Cuberly

        Awwww…

        My favorite cute animal is the pika. When you get to close to their hay stashes they freak out and meep like crazy.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-5nIpqeiPo

        • SoCalGal20

          Awwwwwwww

          (There was a link below that video to a BBC documentary all about cute animals, because OF COURSE – I posted it separately).

      • ByronK

        I adore Teddy!! The sounds are hilarious. A friend of mine does voices on cartoons for a living and they get paid for talking like that!

        • SoCalGal20

          Teddy’s noises are hilarious. I had no idea porcupines sounded like that until I saw Teddy’s videos.

    • Robincho

      I grew up at timberline. We call marmots “whistle pigs”…

      • Cuberly

        That’s awesome.

        It’s sort of amazing when you get above tree-line. Entering a completely different world.

        • Robincho

          It’s great, once you learn how to take or leave the whole oxygen thing…

  • coram nobis

    Miss Demeanor? That’s his new mistress?

    • Lumpy Gaga

      His drag name.

  • ByronK
    • SFBruce

      How wonderful it would be to hear what Molly would have to say about Donnie. It wouldn’t make everything OK, but we could certainly use a few more laughs, not to mention the kind of optimism she might offer.

      • houstonray

        AMEN! A voice lost way too soon….

    • coram nobis

      There’s wisdom in that.

  • AdamTh

    Petraeus, or whoever “wins” the Sec of State, won’t be doing that much traveling. When Donnie is sworn in on Jan 20, the US will no longer be recognized as the leader of the free world. Very few countries will care what our Sec of State has to say….

    • Ninja0980

      After Iraq and even before that, that was the case.
      Just Faux news and others didn’t realize that.

    • Who else is there for leader of the free world? Do we have a vacuum instead? Angela Merkel? Teresa May? Seriously, if its not Trump I don’t know which politician fills in. Probably Merkel as Leading Politician for Europe — assuming she gets reelected in 2017, but I wish Germany would accept marriage equality and she won’t allow it. Canada would be nice with Justin Trudeau but its simply too small on the world stage with 35 million people —— . With France we are going to have a choice of a center right President or Marie Le Pen next year– not that good.

      • BudClark

        Merkel.

  • bkmn

    It feels like paid trolls are out tonight. Trying to dissuade us ahead of the mess that will be sworn in in a month or so. They have scripts and know how to make people feel like they are losing but the fact they are here makes me know we are not losing. If they were so right and good there would be no reason for them to send the trolls in.

    They may have won the battle, but they have not won the war.

    • billbear1961

      Almost always means they’re scared or at least very nervous, doesn’t it?

      • coram nobis

        Their guy is the President, the Leader of the Allegedly Free World, the commander in chief, the master of both houses of Congress, and the Tetrarch of Twitter, and they feel insecure?

        • Lumpy Gaga

          Many have asked: “You WON. Why are you so angry?” but it’s a cart-and-horse situation.

          The anger is always there. What you have to ask is whether they’ve won or not. Because, indeed, it is impossible to tell by their mental state.

          • coram nobis

            Dead horse. Cart needs a Carter to repair. All hair and no cattle. We are in uncharted territory here.

      • bkmn

        Right on the nose billbear. They are scared shitless, just like the GOP. Now they have to put up or shut up, and they know they are not capable of actually doing a good job, unlike the last eight years when they had a black president. That has to really burn.

    • Cuberly

      Hillz is winning the pop vote by 2.5 Mil. If anything we’re not losing, not by a long shot. This is no victory for the GOP, it’s a win for them hanging by a thread. Today some GOPers walked back the ACA, Medicare, and SS initiatives forced by the Kochs.

      Yeah, there’s a shit ton of GOPers thinking they can bull in a china shop their way agenda-wise. I say, nope.

      There’s going to be a LOT of distraction tweets and spin being done up to Jan 20th. But there’s a huge opportunity for the Dems here. Real issues can finally have the opportunity to be debated. We’ll see how far the GOP purported “mandate” gets.

      • bkmn

        FuxSnooz will report on none of this though.

        • Cuberly

          Yep.

    • DonnaLee

      They also left early. I’m always late to the party after the trolls leave.

      • Lumpy Gaga

        I hate that twinge of relief I feel when they turn their tireless attentions elsewhere briefly.

        • DonnaLee

          From the looks of things, it was just one troll indiscriminately multiplying….since they’re such whores.

    • The Return of Traxley

      They’re predictable and they don’t understand sarcasm or metaphor, muxh less cultural references outside of ESPN and FOX. They only know the most base of insults and have a very limited vocabulary with which to attempt an attack — kind of like bringing a spork to a gun fight. And most of them have little understanding of the BLOCK feature.

      I’d almost feel sorry for them if I gave a fuck.

  • coram nobis

    And some more insight from the Patrician Broadcasting Service (PBS).

    ANNOUNCER: The PBS NewsHour is brought to you by the Palatine Fund; by the Praetorian Defense Corporation; by the Livia Drusilla Pharmaceutical Company; and by viewers like you! Thank you!
    JUDY WOODRUFF: … so, once again General P. David Petraeus is back in the news. For that story, we again have the analysis of former Gov. Pontius Pilate of the Plato Institute, and former consul Silius Soddus of the Aventine Center for Strategic Studies. Welcome all.
    PILATE: Thank you, Judy.
    JUDY: So, this week, the former commander of the legions in Mesopotamia, and then the Roman Intelligence Agency, is being considered for the administration of the incoming Nero Administration.
    SILIUS: It’s kind of embarrassing that he might be our envoy to the barbarian empires like Parthia and have his probation officer along.
    PILATE: Well, the Petraeus case is an old story, which broke when some threatening scrolls by the General’s mistress to at least one other woman, a possible rival, turned up on Capitoline Hill. We had allegations about other scrolls going back and forth between Petraeus and his mistress, and even being read by operatives in the Imperial Security Administration.
    SILIUS: Yes, and apparently it was national security stuff, not just the little love murmurings you’d see in normal billets-doux. Pardon my Gaullish.
    PILATE: Oh, yes, (pompous bass) “I love you, darling, and I’m about to start Operation Thracian Violation III.”
    SILIUS: When our empire raped Thrace thrice.
    PILATE: (cough) So, anyway, Petraeus isn’t prosecuted, but Pius Snowdonius, who leaked other scrolls, is still in exile with the Scythian empire.
    SILIUS: Petraeus didn’t expose everybody in power to the world. Snowdonius did. So if he returns to face justice, he gets fed to the lions. And the lionesses.
    PILATE: And the crowd can yell, “You’re a lion mother” –
    JUDY: Pontius! Please!
    PILATE: So, anyway. Thanks to Snowdonius we now we know that the intel agencies were also spying on Sen. Diana Feinstein, Sen. Lucretia Graham, the then-future Emperor Tiberius, and others.
    SILIUS: Yes, and that may have caused some disquiet on Capitoline Hill. Plenty of Senators with a mistress or two or three of various genders, so they have plenty of reason to worry about being found out.
    PILATE: Everybody knows that the Senators have their little amusements.
    SILIUS: But they don’t want them on Visagebook walls all over Rome, for proletarians to have a little … giggle. The patrician 1% had enough embarrassment during the scandal with Biggus Dickus. Meantime, the Snowdonius revelations continue to fester; he at least did the Mark Antony thing and acted from nobler motives.
    PILATE: Well, this week Nero did invite Gen. Petraeus to his tower in Neapolis.
    JUDY: It’s never a good sign when the Emperor invites anybody there. Marcus Tullius Romney looked very uncomfortable at his last interview.
    PILATE: Indeed. Nonetheless, we believe that Gen. Petraeus still won’t suffer for his leaks.
    SILIUS: His mistress certainly could inflict suffering. Look up “dominatrix” in your Latin dictionary and you’ll find her there.
    PILATE: Still a lot better than a trial and maybe having the general do a matinée performance in the Colisseum.
    SILIUS: Maybe a trial would bring out a lot more than just Petraeus and his mistress. A lot of Senators don’t want their stories coming out. And speaking about the Emperor and leaked information, what was this about him and that boys’ choir from, was it Lusitania, this time?
    PILATE: Judaea. Or maybe Dacia. I don’t think it would be wise to look into that.
    SILIUS: Indeed. So I don’t think the General will go on trial.
    JUDY: Thank you. And now for the latest on the economic situation, here is Paul Solmon in Achaea. Paul?
    PAUL: Thank you, Judy. The imperial governor in Athens, Pliny the Younger, has weighed in on the collapse of the Peloponnesian Central Bank and the possible Greek departure from the denarius zone …
    -30-

    • Menergy

      😉 well done, sir!

  • Blake J Butler

    O/T: Equality Texarkana participated in Giving Tuesday, where they were able to raise some money 310 dollars so far, but they have now extended the deadline to give donations to match 1,000 dollars by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation and Facebook is waving all fees, it should be open until Sunday, but we are inching closer to opening the outreach center which is the first of our goals as a non-profit organization.

    We would like to be in the building space by the end of the year but we need to meet the goal of 3,000 dollars, and we still have a ways to go, not including the 310 dollars raised from GT, but there is 2,448$ raised from other sources of fundraising.

    https://www.facebook.com/donate/10208399736291822/

  • coram nobis

    The General really does need to return to Rome and find his mistress(es) and serve the empire!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vN-ttCBHyx8

  • TrollopeReader

    oh well ……

  • Lumpy Gaga

    O/T: It was my first time, I swear.

    [EDIT: Shit’s too long]

    So for the first time ever, I bought a Sotheby’s auction catalogue. In a quest for pure, mad escapism and to get away from “news”, I thankfully stumbled on the fact that a shit-ton of David Bowie’s art collection went up for sale in November. All of the lots are up in detail at Sotheby’s website, so you really don’t have to pay $80 for the dead-tree version like I did, but it’s quite an idiosyncratic and calming diversion to traipse through the items.. YMMV. There were actually three different themed auction events

    http://www.sothebys.com/en/auctions/2016/bowie-collector-part-i-modern-contemporary-art-evening-auction-l16142.html

    http://www.sothebys.com/en/auctions/2016/bowie-collector-part-ii-modern-contemporary-art-day-auction-l16148.html

    http://www.sothebys.com/en/auctions/2016/bowie-collector-part-iii-design-ettore-sottsass-memphis-group-l16149.html

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    You see that shadow to the right? i know it’s probably a statue of a bird in flight but I’d like to snark it’s Satan standing behind him.

    • coram nobis

      V for Vercingetorix. You can look it up on wikipedia.

      • Lumpy Gaga

        And everyone assumed “fascism” was going to win the year… Stop that!

        • coram nobis

          From Mr. V’s wikipedia page:

          Napoleon III erected a seven-meter-tall Vercingétorix monument in 1865, created by the sculptor Aimé Millet, on the supposed site of Alesia. The architect for the memorial was Eugène Viollet-le-Duc.[14] The impressive statue still stands. The inscription on the base, written by Viollet-le-Duc, which copied the famous statement of Julius Caesar, reads (in French):
          La Gaule unie
          Formant une seule nation
          Animée d’un même esprit,
          Peut défier l’Univers.
          Gaul united,
          Forming a single nation
          Animated by a common spirit,
          Can defy the Universe.

          This from another successful Gaullish general.

    • The Return of Traxley

      It’s actually the Angel of Death, as portrayed by Frances Conroy.

      Are you ready for her? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bece68e9588a68d58d17a43f30a29a8ff03a35ff6df8703d77902d47f9c08dd5.png

      • William

        She turned out to be nice. Donnie and Mitt get those ghouls from Ghost .

  • SoCalGal20

    Leave it to the BBC to do an entire documentary on adorable animals. Enjoy everybody!

    https://youtu.be/Dg_djZZcKVc

  • William

    How about Bernie Madoff for Secretary of the Treasury?

    • coram nobis

      It makes as much good sense as New Yorker Magazine’s nominee for DEA: “El Guapo”. They both have experience in the industry and success in the private sector.

  • Nychta

    OT, just watched this. I’m appreciating Trevor Noah more and more. Deal with Trump as though he’s a two-year-old. Not much of a stretch.
    https://youtu.be/9P1IVQJdVvE

    • Lumpy Gaga

      A piece also strongly recommended by Husbot. I couldn’t deal.

      Comcast carries “Comet”, which shows a couple “Mystery Science Theater” eps each week. I’ve got a straining shelf overloaded with MST3K DVDs, but I still prefer watching this way, commercials, digital compression, and all.

    • coram nobis

      Noah has a point. “And a toddler shall lead them.”

    • Ross

      Excellent.

      It’s tragic that our comedians are doing a billion times better job reporting important stories than the FUCKING media.

      • coram nobis

        Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
        — Will Rogers (d. 1935)

        • Tor

          Nothing changes but the climate.

    • BTW My mom wants me to take her to see Fantastic Beasts this weekend. Anyone see it? Besides Eddie Redmayne who is handsome as hell, not sure the movie is that appealing. The movie set of New York City in the 1920’s looks good.

      • Nychta

        I haven’t seen it, but it looks like fun. Sort of a Harry Potter prequel.

        • Nychta

          That reminds me, anybody here a Naomi Novik/Temeraire fan? Another fantasy world, where the Napoleanic wars were fought by air – on the backs of dragons – as well as by sea.

  • Lumpy Gaga

    And then I saw John Cale
    he’s been looking really great
    He’s been coming by the office to exercise with me
    Ronnie said I have a muscle
    but he’s been really mean since he went to AA
    I mean what does it mean
    when you give up drinking and then you’re still so mean

    “A Dream”
    John Cale/Lou Reed, “Songs for Drella”

    • Lazycrockett

      God I forgot bout that disc.

      • Lumpy Gaga
        • Ben in Oakland

          Is that mitt Romney raping Liza Minnelli?

          • Lumpy Gaga

            Publicity photo for Liz & Dick’s roadshow of “Private Lives”, early 80s. By the end of it all, Liz was hurling dinner-roll props into the audience. As a starving college student, I mingled with the smokers during intermission, went in and found an empty seat upstairs to at least see the 2nd act.

          • djcoastermark

            It almost, almost , looks like Dr Frank N Furter .

          • coram nobis

            Silvio Berlusconi and Kim Cardassian?

  • bkmn

    After this week I have no doubt Obama could win a third and fourth term after all the crap the alt-right/not-right are slinging right now. They are in danger of becoming a permanent second class and they are scared.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      “Make white-and-hetero MEAN something Again”

      • djcoastermark

        They are already Mean.

      • BudClark

        You mean something BESIDES “crazy-ass father-fuckers?”

  • djcoastermark

    Speaking of “Somewhere Down the Crazy River” I think I’m goin to go down to Madam X’s for a bit of a chill now. A nice goodnight lullaby. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KP9PNSUME4

  • NoShame

    File this under, “Shit you can’t make up.”

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    Who’s next? Charles Manson? David Duke? Kanye?

    • djcoastermark

      Department of justice, department of racial equality and department of mental health.

  • Moebym of the Rebel Alliance
  • DaddyRay

    I still feel like Trump is Punking the entire US, he just keeps coming up with the worst of the worst taunting us to finally scream ENOUGH

    • Hey he has not appointed Sarah Palin or Tutsi Gabbard (or whatever her name is) to his cabinet yet. Just wait!

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    I haven’t seen this posted but Mitten’s expression is on point.

    https://twitter.com/TheRyanParker/status/803996604021641216

    • coram nobis

      Faces of Death, Romney edition.

      https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/nov/30/world-leaders-beware-photo-with-trump-will-expose-your-soul

      You could get lost in that photo of Donald Trump and Mitt Romney, couldn’t you? Every time you look at it, another new detail rises to the surface and breaks your heart. The angle of Romney’s eyebrows. The self-satisfied lurch in Trump’s neck. The bottle of wine in the background and the glasses of water on the table. The sensation that Trump has shoved away his plate of scallops and demanded that someone bring him a big bowl of Sugar Puffs and a mixing spoon.

      But it is Romney’s face that makes this such a fascinating picture. Look at it. There is no way on Earth that Romney expected the photo to be taken. He is, remember, the most presidential-looking non-president in the history of the United States. He looks like what you would get if you asked a beachside cartoonist on Martha’s Vineyard to draw a human version of a bald eagle …
      — lede

      • If Trump wants to get back at Romney for trashing him during the campaign he should appoint him to his cabinet. Can you imagine the abuse he will have to take from everyone else at cabinet meetings? And all the imbecilic tweets that he will have to put up telling him what to do in advance? Even better appoint Sarah Palin as his main undersecretary or liaison with Steven Bannon.

    • DaddyRay
      • Bad Tom

        How can they be Robo-calls if Cruz is alive?
        Wait.

        • agcons

          You just answered your own question.

      • Poor Ted. I guess he has no chance to replace Trump in 2020 now that Pence has taken all the glamour for the rightwing nutjobs — what a shame.

    • djcoastermark

      Looks like, “I really have to go to the bathroom, and No it’s not the crabcakes.”

    • Max_1

      Mitt looks like he just swallowed… And regretted it.

      edit: He did a joob job though… No cum on the lips.

    • Tor

      The taste of humble pie. Mittens ate it all.

  • Piet

    Drain the swamp!

  • Convicted Criminal Gen. Betray-Us

    • CSATejano

      You are a criminal

      • Bück Dich, Trumpscum.

        • CSATejano

          You working you way up from Fruit Loop to Fruit Cake!

          • Learn English, fuckstick.

          • CSATejano

            You poor fruit cake!!

          • TrollopeReader

            CSA: Confederate States of America. So the supposed “Texan” is a treasonous traitor …..

          • coram nobis

            The Texan is a treasonous traitor of timorous talent.

            Very good! Can you say “Titus the tailor told ten tall tales to Titania the titmouse”?
            — “A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum”

          • Aren’t they all?

      • Max_1

        Do you regularly support Treason?

  • KQCA

    No problem under the incoming administration. Deplorable will be the new normal.

  • andrew

    Petraeus is highly respected by many Democrats and Republicans for his knowledge and leadership abilities.

    • Comey really likes him. He is fantastic with handling confidential information!

      • BudClark

        So … his PAROLE OFFICER would have to have Top Secret clearance??!! This is so wacko-fucked it’s not funny!

        • IamM

          Given what he’s on parole for shouldn’t the PO already need some level of clearance in case he finds something on Petraeus’s computer?

    • Tor

      Too bad he’s a convicted criminal.

      • LOL :):):):) You really could go on Saturday Night Live with this.

        • Tor

          Love ya, Eddi.

    • JohnInCA

      After the fuss that was made over Clinton’s e-mails and the possibility of classified information getting out, you don’t think it’d be a little “we don’t actually care about classified secrecy” to chose a new Secretary of State that was convicted of sharing classified information, through e-mail?

      • andrew

        The Republicans never really were concerned about some breaches in security, they were just using that phony issue as something to undermine Hillary’s credibility. I was pointing out the high regard that many Democrats and Republicans have for Petraeus because of his knowledge and leadership abilities. From the looks of the team that Trump is putting together, he would be a rarity in that administration.

    • Max_1

      Is this why he was arrested. charged and found guilty of passing State secrets to his lover/writer?

    • William

      And I’m Henry VIII.

      • andrew

        Sire, I am happy to inform you that we now have a cure for syphilis.

        • William

          Huzzah! Bring me another stable boy!

  • Max_1

    UP NEXT: Trum picks Bernard Madoff to head up something…

    • Reform of the federal prison system?

      • coram nobis

        The Securities and Exchange Commission. Hey, he was a success in the private sector.

        • Max_1

          I almost wrote exactly that…

        • canoebum

          Well, Bush put Chris Cox, another member of the Gingrich Cabal, in charge of the SEC, and we all saw the wonderful results from that appointment. Chris Cox was convinced his job as Chair of the SEC was to put everyone at the agency to sleep. He did a bang up job.

    • djcoastermark

      Drop “up something” and it pretty much describes those clamoring to be in the bag of cheetos

  • leastyebejudged

    Ollie North is next !

    • Max_1

      Of course… Diplomatic assignment in Guatemala.

    • William

      Is it too late to put Ollie in front of a firing squad?

      • leastyebejudged

        IDK, wasn’t he pardoned ?

        • canoebum

          Not pardoned. His felony convictions were overturned. Overturned or not, he did facilitate the transfer of weapons to Iran in exchange for hostages, he did sell weapons to Iran to illegally fund right wing death squads in El Salvador, leading to the murder of thousands.

  • Max_1

    So let’s understand this, berating a WOMAN who, as SOS set up a private server in an attempt to secure the private and confidential information is good…

    … Yet elevating a man convicted for sharing State secrets into a position that his probation officer has access to State secrets is O.K.?

  • JCF

    But remember, HILLARY is a CRIMINAL!!1!1!

  • fuzzybits
  • Max_1

    My co-manager, a Republican who did not vote for Trump yet supports and protects the GOP, when I told him about Petraeus he got extremely defensive of this pick. He went on about how this is called, “payback” for Obama’s terms, (8 years of pushing a Socialist agenda). He’s 75… I didn’t even get into it about his Medicare and Social Security. Or, maybe I should? He does have children that will be harmed… I’d like to think he cares about them. Maybe he doesn’t… Yesterday he was going on about hitting his Doughnut hole and how he’s pissed about that… And how he now has to spend $300 out of his pocket. I just shook my head and said, “O.K.” And then got back to the task at hand…

    That somehow he can’t see past the wrongness of Petraeus so as to protect the GOP’s support of Treasonists. SMDH!

    • Lazycrockett

      Petraeus lied to the army and to congress anyone supporting that is either racist or stupid.

      • Max_1

        Lazy… It’s not called being a racist when one lies to their Superior Officer in the Army about passing classified material to a civilian. That’s called Treason. And, it’s not being a racist when lying under Oath to Congress, that’s called a Federal Crime. Lastly, it’s not called being a racist when one supports a Treasonous liar, it’s called supporting a Treasonous liar. The question I should ask him is: Cui-Bono, (What’s in it for him to support a Treasonous liar)?

        • Lazycrockett

          It’s racist cause the black man took him down, which is why the white man is giving him a possible position.

      • They refer to him as General BetrayUS at moveon.org. I thought that was clever.

    • IamM

      Even ignoring everything else, “payback” is not a good management strategy.

  • Max_1
    • Octavio

      Baby down and down I go, all around I go
      In a spin, loving the spin that I’m in
      Under that old black magic called love

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    OT: A somewhat uplifting video by one of my favorite Science youtubers.

    https://youtu.be/qNWWrDBRBqk

  • JellyDonut

    The irony is dripping from this one…One day the white trash walmart shoppers will understand the YUGE mistake they made by voting for the Orange Clown, but by then it may bee way too late.

  • Vedadmccarthy

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !mj73d:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !mj73d:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash73TopServerGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!mj73d:….,….

  • JT

    Traitor Drumpf and his Criminal Cabinet.

  • LesbianTippingHabits

    The real question for America is, how does General (ret.) Petraeus tip?

  • Acronym Jim

    I see that Petraeus’s new girlfriend, the rabbit from Donnie Darko is now hanging around in the background. I had no idea Petraeus was a furry.

  • Richard

    Just more Republican hypocrisy thrown in America’s face. It’s
    going to be a very long, painful, and dangerous four years. God help us !