TRAILER: Mike Huckabee And Victoria Jackson Star In Janet Porter’s Anti-Abortion Film What’s A Girl To Do?

OMG. An anti-abortion “romantic comedy.” Miranda Blue reports at Right Wing Watch:

Last month, Religious Right activist Janet Porter announced that she had secured funding for a movie that she has been working on for years about her efforts to pass the first “partial birth” abortion ban in the nation. She was especially excited about this because, she said, self-proclaimed prophet Cindy Jacobs had told her that her semi-autobiographical romantic comedy/anti-abortion polemic would be “the tipping point to end abortion” in America.

Yesterday, Porter released a trailer for the new movie, called “What’s a Girl to Do?,” confirming that it will feature cameos from former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee and Rep. Steve King of Iowa, and will include performances by Victoria Jackson as Porter’s best friend and Stephen Baldwin as her future husband, David Porter. Although the plot of the movie is unclear, it apparently deals with a romance Porter had with the son of a pro-choice state legislator before meeting her husband.

  • Matt

    Gee, this sounds like the “feel-nauseous” movie of the year!

  • JDS

    It’s Alive!

    • Michael R

      Janet Porter ? Hardly .

  • Michael R

    I’m going to get a drove together and stay away from in in that.

    • Treant

      I’m willing to be driven. Ridden. Whatever. As long as I don’t have to watch that crap.

  • Frostbite

    Drug induced fantasy?

  • Treant

    I’m sure it’ll out-earn “Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them.”

  • Michael R

    ‘Partial-birth abortions aren’t a thing!’

    • BearEyes

      just ask any reputable medical authority.

  • safari

    What’s a girl to do?

    Not carry a fetus to term and then fuck up the child until they can get the hell out of dodge and try to repair the damage that being unwanted as a child has caused?

    • There’s always adoption. Or contraception.

      Nah. Just kill the thing.

      • safari

        The examples I’ve seen is that the person doesn’t put it up for adoption for the same reason they didn’t get an abortion and just fuck the child up.

        • So your answer is to kill the kid?

          My answer? Forced sterilization. If you are unwilling to deal with the consequences of your own decisions, then you should not be allowed to force others to suffer physically or financially because of it.

          • djcoastermark

            I don’t think a lot of men are going to like being forced to have themselves sterilized.

          • Too bad. There are a lot of rapists and murderers who don’t like being in jail.

          • The_Wretched

            Bodily integrity is a foundational principal in a free society. So much so that even conservative courts view violations of it as a breach of “cruel and unusual” punishment.

          • safari

            If we’re talking about how abortion works, it isn’t a kid. It is a fetus or embryo. That’s not a person. Also, you seem to want to control the body of others. If you don’t get why that is a problem, you should seek help.

          • Until when? As I said, it seems that it’s a “fetus” until its head pokes out of the birth canal. Even then I’m not so sure.

            Why not post-birth abortion? If the cord is still attached, it’s a parasite, yes?
            I’m just trying to understand where you’re drawing these lines.

          • Oikos

            Fetal tissue is not a person. You’ve been here before trolling and you still suck at it, troll.

          • Oikos

            There is no kid. Blastocysts are not people.

          • I’d agree. That’s not what I’m arguing. I’m saying that it ceases to be that at a certain stage of development. None of you want to concede that.

          • Oikos

            I concede nothing to trolls.

          • zhera

            1. It’s not a kid.
            2. Sometimes life takes a turn you didn’t expect. It sucks.
            3. Contraception doesn’t always work.
            4. Women who are raped are actually NOT able to ‘shut that down’.
            5. Rape victims are often not believed, or they can’t for some reason tell the truth about what happened to them.
            6. Miscarriages happen. Some places women are accused of abortion when that’s not the case.
            7. The only ones punished by your idea are women. As always.

            Still advocating forced sterilization?

          • The_Wretched

            You do know that abortions don’t actually reduce the wanted kid rate? It shifts women and families to having kids when they want them. This is an unmitigated social good that means less crime and happier healthier citizens.

      • Oikos

        Get back to us when you make a decision about your own uterus.

      • Ernest Endevor

        There should be contraception. And education. Unfortunately, those who scream and shriek about Planned Parenthood are against any form of contraception, too.

        • Not me. Contraception should be available and covered by insurance.

          • Gustav2

            No one needs your permission and/or approval.

          • Ernest Endevor

            Of course it should. But it should go with education. Unfortunately we’ve become hag-ridden by those who want to impose what they like to call their morals on the rest of us.

      • The_Wretched

        Contraception doesn’t work once you’re pregnant. Going to term is 14x the death risk of aborting.

  • Ta-er al-Asfer

    That was tragic.

  • bkmn

    I wonder how many roasted babies were consumed on that set.

  • Megrim Twist

    Holy shitballs ….

  • mikeinrkfd

    Is this movie where Huckabee impregnates Victoria? Or is that the porn version?

    • MBear

      Okay…ew: I barf’d a little in my mouth

    • Bared Bear

      I’m expecting the Josh Duggar cameo to steal the scene. He’ll grab it with both hands.

      • Beagle

        Seems like Josh has to get his fingers into everything.

    • Uncle Mark

      No, Mike Huckabee is the ultimate birth control. He totally kills the mood in a 100 foot radius. (Actually, I think that’s about the radius of his waistline too.)

  • safari

    The only Christian film I remember doing well was the one with the gratuitous violence.

    • Bared Bear

      The spurting jesus on a stick one? Sounds like something they’d serve in our state fair… deep fried.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      The “God’s not Dead” movie made a lot compared to its budget. It’s that one starring Kevin Sorbo. However, I think it’s a fluke.

      The problem with them is that it’s based on pushing a product/reinforcing already held beliefs and not being entertaining.

    • Gustav2
  • Bared Bear

    The production title was… Grab ’em by the Pussy and Tie it in a Knot.

  • JoeMyGod

    Remember that time Victoria Jackson posed for a selfie with a homofascist blogger at the 2012 Democratic convention?

    • Bared Bear

      Poor Joe. You truly suffer for us.

      • Gustav2

        I hope Joe had all his immunization shots

    • pj

      nice tatoo

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      What is that on her chest?

      • Bared Bear

        Corinthians. Both of them.

    • Dagoril

      Every time I see this photo, I wonder who raped her and wrote on her with a Sharpie.

      • Jon

        It was a warning that bitch be crazy.

    • madknits

      This is me with Joe at Bear Week 2015.
      I still owe you a blue hat, bubbeleh.

      • Lauradskinner

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !mj123d:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
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    • safari

      I find that a woman who wears a bow in her hair is the equivalent of a grown man wearing a bowtie outside of a formal event.

      • Johnny Wyeknot

        No it’s not.

    • The Return of Traxley

      She looks like she’s doing deranged Minnie Mouse cosplay.

      • safari

        If only. I’d enjoy watching deranged Minnie Mouse cosplay.

        • JW Swift


      • karmanot


      • RaygunsGoZap

        She’s like the punchline to this old joke:

        Why did Mickey end it with Minnie?

        He realized she was fucking Goofy!

    • karmanot

      Her Minny Mouse costume was pretty cool though.

    • BuffaloDan


      How can I be so turned on and so repulsed at the same time?

      • The_Wretched


    • Max_1

      Yes, We remember that hat, Joe… LOL /jk

  • BearEyes

    some things are best left on the cutting room floor

  • another_steve

    I don’t think the Trump Administration will be able to reverse Roe — regardless of how many Supreme Court justices Trump gets to pick — but I do think the monsters will impose every imaginable restriction on and impediment to a woman’s right to choose.

    I think that’s the theofascists’ strategy: Make it virtually impossible for a woman to have an abortion.

    • That a day-old zygote is a “person” is a difficult legal argument to make. Six months? A different story. Of course, there are factors where later term abortions may be justifiable or even necessary.

      But the ease with which some of you champion this revolting procedure at any stage of development is somewhat disturbing.

      There really is no willingness to concede that even a late term fetus is a “person”. It’s a parasite, that’s all. That the umbilical cord is attached seems an arbitrary distinction.

      • safari

        Most third term abortions are because of terrible birth defects or because the mother’s life is in danger. It is not something that is taken lightly. It is quite often very tragic.

        • zhera

          A third term abortion will be by ‘birth’ because of the size and all. I can’t imagine the horror of having to give ‘birth’ to a dead or almost dead fetus.

          And who the hell goes six months or more pregnant and then suddenly says ‘Nah, I wanna have an abortion’.

          The christers’ focus on this segment of abortions is disgusting and shows they’re willing to crush anyone in their way.

      • another_steve

        It’s a moral/ethical decision that each woman must be allowed to make for herself in consultation with her doctor. The baby — at whatever stage — while still in her body is part of her body.

        Do not tell people what to do with their bodies, JamesBradshaw.

        Only theofascists do that, as they’ve done to LGBT people for thousands and thousands of years.

        • Todd20036

          Keep in mind I have yet to see anyone who is pro life.

          A pro life person would see the baby born, then pay increased taxes so that the baby could be fed, clothed, housed, and educated.

          In other words, if the GOP wanted to override a woman’s decision, they had to literally pay for it.

          People who call themselves pro life, are really pro fetus. Nothing more.

          • DonnaLee

            Forced birth. That’s all it is.

        • If what you say is true, then why is a late term abortion a “difficult decision”, regardless of the reason? It’s the excision of a cyst, not a person. It should be as upsetting as having a tooth pulled.

          That’s not what others here are suggesting.

          Btw, I am gay and a libertarian. People should be able to do what they want whether it’s smoking pot or having a same sex spouse or marrying three people. I don’t care. The issue is when one’s choices start to impact others.

          • djcoastermark

            Until you have a uterus, you have no say. It is not your body nor your choice. Likewise to end this problem, what if women decide whether men are forced into sterilization and which ones aren’t?

          • zhera

            You’re painting it very black and white, here.

            I’ll only speak for myself (as I know that there are about as many different opinions on this as there are people) when I say that there’s a difference between a two weeks old fetus/zygot, and an eight months old fetus. Biggest difference is the latter can survive outside the womb.

            There’s also this thing called emotional attachment. Having a fetus growing inside you for 8 months, feeling it kicking and moving, feeling the hormones wrecking your body and mind, getting used to the idea that your life will soon involve a new person… how can that even be compared to an early abortion?

            And remember, the christers consider the morning-after pill an abortion. Hell, even hormone birth control is abortion in their eyes.

          • All reasonable points. I do part ways with pro lifers who insist life begins at conception. It’s an extreme position and more of a theological one than anything. To me, there have to be signs of life that are commonly and easily determined: brain and heart activity and so forth.

          • zhera

            What about a fetus with heart and brain activity, but not able to survive on its own?

            The point I’m trying to make is that different people have different views on this, and that’s ok. what’s not ok is to force your own view onto someone else’s life and situation.

          • The_Wretched

            The bible says life begins at birth – that ‘breath of life’ thing isn’t just a metaphor.

          • another_steve

            The issue of whether a baby still in its mother’s womb is an individual deserving of constitutional protections is a philosophical one — not a scientific one. Reasonable people can argue it both ways.

            That said, we must not decide for the woman in question. We must not do that. She must be allowed to decide for herself.

            Her body. Her decision.

          • Again: when does it cease being “her body”, in your view?
            After partial delivery, full delivery or when the umbilical cord is severed? It’s not a trivial distinction.

          • The_Wretched

            Dwelling on drawing lines on matters of continuous variation is obnoxious at best. Over on the worst side, it creates fights and dissents where other approaches can create unity.

          • Except the law requires these lines be drawn. What is legal one second is a crime the next, based on how we define these things. Like any law, the existing laws can change, though.

          • The_Wretched

            Oh, there’s a bright line rule in abortion law? Cite please.

            Also “these lines” – be specific. Which line(s) for abortion law?

            AND last I checked, the conversation here was about morality and in a comments section. It wasn’t a legal discussion.

          • another_steve

            A fair question. Every woman considering an abortion would want to consider that, I should think.

            Were I a woman, I think I’d say that as long as the baby is part of my body (including attachment by umbilical cord), my autonomy over my own body takes precedence. My body, my decision.

            Some women may think otherwise, which is fine.

            If the thought of aborting the pregnancy is not palatable to them, they shouldn’t have abortions.

          • So the law should permit a woman to deliver a nine month old fetus and strangle it to death as it lay in front of her, so long as the cord she was strangling it with was still attached? It would have to, if we go that route.

            Pretty ghoulish, don’t you think?

            Love wins, indeed.

          • another_steve

            Argument of the absurd.

            We live in the real world, not the fantasy horror world of theofascists.

          • It’s not, though. How many incidences have you read of in the news where women dumped their newborns into dumpsters?

            I have. Look them up.

            Again, so long as they killed it while the cord was still attached, it’s her choice, yes?

            This type of cavalier regard for human life is the result of your ideology. Ideas have consequences.

          • another_steve

            If your best argument against my position is that it promotes the dumping of newborns in dumpsters, you’ve lost the argument, James.

            I’m bowing out of further discussion now. I’m old and not particularly in what some might consider “robust health.” I have to parcel out my remaining time on the planet carefully.

            Know that I consider you a good and honorable debate partner. That we disagree on this or that is secondary to the fact that we’re remained civil to one another.

            Thank you, James.

      • Ernest Endevor

        That’s a very unfortunate characterization of those of us who believe that a woman should be in charge of her body and her own life. I don’t think that anyone thinks it’s some kind of walk in the park for a woman, for whatever reason, to end a pregnancy. Unfortunately, here in the States we can’t have a rational discussion about the topic because of arguments like yours which blatantly mis-state the position of those of us who, like most of the country, want to see abortion services available when needed.

      • BobSF_94117

        What’s disturbing is your apparent embrace of the idea that late term abortions are easy, frequent, or done on a whim.

        What’s revolting is that the GOP has used this issue to divide the nation for its own electoral benefit.

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      It’ll only be technically legal or at least only legal in blue states. Mind you, it does irk me that GOP women in red states don’t get that “You don’t like the fact you have to drive hundreds of miles to a clinic and have to listen to a stupid lie-ridden video? Why did you vote GOP?”

      • The Return of Traxley

        Because black people and gays.

      • Todd20036

        The red states might make it a felony to cross state lines to get an abortion, but I question how they could enforce such a law

        • Skeptical_Inquirer

          Just because it’s unfeasible doesn’t mean that they won’t try it. The cops might just stop anybody with a tummy and then get screamed at because the person just didn’t go to the gym.

        • The_Wretched

          They’ll ban OTC pregnancy tests and require all pregnancy test results to be reported to the State. Then, a year or so later, check to see if there’s a baby and, if not, investigate. this would violate HIPPA but they’ll either not care or get HIPPA amended to allow for this sort of thing.

  • we’re still here

    Who is playing the zygote ? Chachi ?

    • BearEyes

      the shark Fonzie jumped.

  • Chuck in NYC


  • Uncle Mark

    What?!! White Jesus isn’t even in a cameo here?!! Someone has to turn in their Conservative membership card. (They also left out Chachi. Won’t someone give him a job?)

  • DaddyRay

    In Related News:
    Planned Parenthood has received more than 50,000 donations in Mike Pence’s name

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      I remember someone complained about getting too many envelopes from PP so perhaps any and all donations should be money orders with Mike Pence’s name to avoid paper envelope begs. So send money in Pence’s name but also demand they knock off the excessive paper begs.

  • Oikos

    “would be “the tipping point to end abortion”
    Does it provide sex education and free contraception? If not then I call bullshit.

    • Uncle Mark

      The “tipping point”? Silly woman; it always ends up being more than just the tip. (Unless we’re talking Huckabee…that’s all he has)

      • The Return of Traxley

        *golf clap*

        • Uncle Mark

          That’s what you can expect to catch on Trump’s golf courses

  • we’re still here

    Based on Porter’s experience with a pro choice ex : Not far removed morally to revenge porn.

  • pj

    what was the funding? $1200.00?

    • The Return of Traxley

      $1175.00 was budgeted for craft services?

      What’s a girl to eat?

  • crewman

    Does the movie explain the natural procedure, where women’s bodies shut that thing down when they don’t want a pregnancy, such as in the case of rape?

    • Oikos

      You mean death?

    • Jerry

      That, and it will magically cure ectopic pregnancies.

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    (rolls eyes) Pro-choice is about letting you decide if you want to keep it or not. If you keep it because you want to then that’s also pro-choice.

    This shit is about bullying women for having sex. And frankly, since there is already something that can be used as an abortion pill (though off-script) that can be taken inside one’s home, there’s not going to be a way to stop women from getting it done, dumbasses.

  • Sam_Handwich

    these fucking people are mentally ill

  • geoffalnutt

    A very, very John Waters title!! (starring Edie Massey as “the girl”). Divine appears as “the trampoline lady” from “the wrong side of town” She puts the “tramp” in trampoline!

  • Gustav2

    Most anti-choice folk in Ohio think Janet Porter is cray-cray.

  • lattebud

    And James O’Keefe will be the video camera operator and editor. So, we know it will be accurate.

  • Rebecca Gardner

    Totally OT and me just being paranoid, but I love ships and I have an unobstructed view of the Pacific Ocean where I watch the ships go in and out of San Francisco.

    Right now the Cosco Pride has left San Francisco, she is empty, and she’s heading to Vostochyy, Russia.

    There is a Cosmodrome there. I wonder what’s going on. The whole Trump-Russia thing and all.

    • lattebud

      Melania’s monthly beauty products and designer knock offs must be arriving.

    • Rebecca Gardner

      It just got weirder. She turned towards Vostochyy the stopped, turned South, and is just sitting there now.

    • William

      There is a shipment of computers for the Trump White House waiting at the port in Russia. They have all been checked by the FSB’s (KGB) best computer techs.

  • kelven

    Marvel better be careful they don’t have a conflicting opening date. This could seriously affect their bottom line.

  • Bared Bear

    If only Divine were still around to do the birth scene.

  • Lazycrockett

    Well now I have something to sit down and watch with my lovely family after Thanksgiving Dinner.

    • lattebud

      Wanna to shut them up… Longtime Companion or Normal Heart should turn them into sobbing messes.

  • Ceann Eltigh

    OT: The “San Antonio Four” women have been cleared of all charges by Texas appeals court. “They are innocent. And they are exonerated”

    • BobSF_94117

      Let the civil suits commence!

  • safari

    Wasn’t this called Knocked Up with Katherine Heigl and Seth Rogen?

    • Bared Bear

      I suspect this will be closer to Alien.

  • Mike Knife

    More anti-women propaganda. Part of the Trump Nazi KKKristian propaganda machine.

    • Bared Bear

      It’s the woman’s fault. They were probably uppity and wearing a pantsuit.

  • The Return of Traxley

    Sorry, Monster Chiller Horror Theater was last month.

  • KnownDonorDad

    This is one area of the culture wars where the religious right have a decent shot of winning – although the blowback from such a victory is not likely to be what they expect.

  • Like shooting fish in a barrel for MST3K.

  • Uncle Mark

    Mike Huckabee, Steve King of IA, Victoria Jackson and Stephen Baldwin…sounds like the worst conservative orgy porn ever.

    • Where’s Kirk Cameron? That would put the icing on that shit cake.

    • The_Wretched

      There are things even I won’t watch.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    LOL with King and Fuckabee it is sure to be a smashing Bigot hit !

  • Lena

    A lady I spoke with recently did not like Hillary’s stance on partial birth abortions saying she couldn’t see any medical reason for this, to just perform a C-section instead. Comments, anyone?

    • Jon

      That seems cromulent.

      • Lena

        In that same breath, she re-iterated her support for legal abortion. I still am not sure if she’s being evasive with me given this came up when I asked her how she felt about the election results. She knows that I cannot abide those who voted for Trump or third-party, but I don’t think she realizes that I despise dishonesty even more. So this might make or break the relationship I have with her.

    • The_Wretched

      C-sections are major surgery. Partial birth abortions are not (3rd trimester abortions being extremely rare in any event).

  • Trace

    In the words of Buddy Cole…

    “It won’t make a dime!”

    • Gustav2

      “If only she had kept the dime between her knees.”

    • Chicago joe

      In our house we use that for nearly all movie previews….so few people get the reference. Thank you.

      • Trace

        I was hoping somebody remembered him, and his role in Millennium.

  • Soetoro Marx

    What’s a girl to do? She’s to do exactly what her Chritianist overlords tell her to do, of course: Carry that rape-induced pregnancy to term, whether she likes it or not.

    Asking what she’s to do implies she’d almost have some options in the matter.

  • OdieDenCO

    a straight to beta max release I’m thinking.

  • bobbyjoe

    For most women– if Victoria Jackson was their best friend– the answer to “What’s a Girl to Do?” would probably be “jump off a bridge.”

  • safari

    I think y’all might enjoy these gems, courtesy of Everything Is Terrible:

  • Bared Bear

    Reminds me of those Left Behind movies that my christian relatives would copy on VHS (illegally, I presume) and gift to me for xmas. Yes, I’m from white trash stock. I speak Liberal Redneck.

  • moebym

    What’s a girl to do? Whatever she feels is best for her – NOT what some gasbag thinks she should do with her own body.

  • EweTaw

    There is no such thing as partial birth abortion. It not possible, as the term implies, to abort part of a fetus. It’s all or nothing. The pro life Nazis created the term for abortions in the third trimester. The medical community had nothing to do with it. It’s a complete fiction by pro life Nazis. It’s time everyone recognized this and called out the pro life assholes on this fiction and shut them up. It’s abortion or no abortion. I’m ready to punch the lights out of the next pro life ass hole who tries to pull this shit out and spreads in on a cracker. Fuck them!

  • ETownCanuck

    “Cindy Jacobs told her it would be the tipping point to end abortion”, BAHAHAHA..oh my sides…. No one will ever see this due to the fact that both Victoria Jackson and Stephen Baldwin are in it. Maybe they can market the Blu-Ray as a Double Feature along with that other award worthy contender “Saving Christmas”. It couldn’t possibly look any lower budget if it tried.

  • Will Steven Baldwin get naked and do another explicit sex scene like he’s known for?

    • Bared Bear

      Stevie found Jesus. Or was that Kirk Cameron? I can’t even tell the difference nowadays.

  • Chuck

    Shit, Victoria Jackson, eh?
    Hope craft services is prepared.

  • dcurlee

    If I were straight you wouldn’t have to worry about abortion. That clip was the best contraception ever

  • zeddy303

    Excuse me while I vomit.

  • TexasBoy

    Do we get to hear Victoria sing a nonsense song while strumming a ukulele?

  • fuzzybits

    I refuse to watch because they left out Janine Turner and Ted Nugent.

  • NancyP

    Sorry. The definitive abortion experience and politics documentary movie has been made, Lake of Fire, by Tony Kaye, the guy who made American History X movie.

  • JCF


  • Halou

    Low budget propaganda trash I’m sure, just like God’s Not Dead