INSERT JOKE: Trump Tower Fortified With Dump Trucks

Gothamist reports:

The NYPD is helping the Secret Service ramp up security outside Trump Tower on Fifth Avenue this afternoon to levels befitting the president-elect, according to an NYPD spokesman. In addition to the row of Sanitation Department trucks parked end to end outside the tower since Tuesday, police have placed white concrete barriers emblazoned with the NYPD logo across 56th Street at the eastern intersection of Fifth Avenue. “Security gets revved up,” the NYPD spokesman said. As for the barriers, “They stop vehicles from ramming into the location and blowing it up with explosives.”

Two anti-Trump marches on Trump Tower will take place this afternoon, starting from Union Square and Columbus Circle.

  • NZArtist

    Thanks, Obama.

    • Todd20036

      He does have some blame. After all, who do you think picked the FBI director who later helped move the election along in Trump’s direction

      • NZArtist

        Blame? Are you crazy?
        I’m going to spend today thanking your current wonderful President for eight years of social progress.

        • Lawerence Collins

          And just ignor all the crap he’s
          done.
          Bombing several different countries.
          Being for the TPP. The DAPL.
          Not doing anything for Flint Michigan, minimum wage. Social Security and on the list goes.

          • Peter

            I am sure the new Trumpish overlord will be kinder, gentler and far more concerned with the “common” citizen.

          • Matthew Delemos

            News to me. But, since racists definitely exist in the gay community, I’m gonna need citations to prove you aren’t one.

          • Lawerence Collins

            πŸ˜” you can believe what you want. I don’t care. I know who I am. A proud gay progressive. I’m very grateful for what Obama got done. I’m also very concerned about others then myself.

  • EweTaw

    As many here will attest, that’s just a cat magnet. Thousands of feral kitties from all over Manhattan are swarming to Trump Tower to have a good shit.

    • Brian G

      Well, Trump does love to grab him some p**sy, so …..that’s works out for him

    • glass

      They already had a good shit and that’s how trump was born. A bacteria that has gone rogue, and an orange one at that.

  • Canadian Observer

    Any reports on who is getting the contract to construct the sign to be put up on the portico of the White Trump House? Also, will there be a new directive to stiff all contractors a set percentage of their contractually agreed upon free in order to balance the budget? And when do we get pictures of what the Lincoln bedroom looks life after a tasteful application of gold leaf?

    • Gustav2

      Those parts of the White House a Curator keeps those rooms as a museum. The protective bureaucracy is in place.

      • TampaDink

        As if any of that matters to a man who has recently said that the election should be cancelled & the job GIVEN to him.

  • Lumpy Gaga

    I presume the WH will be open-carry come January?

    • zhera

      OMG. Donnie in the White House.

      We joked about it. Leaf gold everywhere, yoooge portraits of him on all the walls.

      It’s actually going to happen? ;__;

      • AJ Drew

        and FLOTUS Melania. Let *that* sink in, too.

        • zhera
        • Rockola404

          As far as we know, no other FLOTUS has posed for a soft-core, lesbionic pron photo shoot before.
          EDIT: I’m not a victorian prude.

          • BobSF_94117

            Laura Bush Lynn Cheney* wrote lesbian porn. I guess Melania is progress…. of a sort.

            * Pardon the error. I’m a mess.

          • Rockola404

            I must research that! Wonders if it was more Lucy Lawless / fiction.

          • BobSF_94117

            It was all prairie porn. Tough women in gingham. Stuff one finds oneself musing about on a frigid WY winter eve, apparently.

        • chris james

          yaaay, now we can have naked pole dancing in the Lincoln Bedroom

          • ByronK

            Great. The first Mail Order First Lady.

      • Lumpy Gaga

        Yeah, I just reviewed today’s JMG headlines. It’s really happening.

      • Gustav2

        Actually there is a large historic preservation group/bureaucracy in charge of the parts you see…he can gold leaf the interior of top floor all he wants.

        • BobSF_94117

          Oh, yes, I’m sure he’ll follow every rule…

      • Talisman

        I have a feeling that he will live in his hotel nearby.

        He can gild that to his heart’s content.

  • Gretchen Sharp Kidd

    This has been such a surreal day. I reluctantly went out of the house today to run a couple errands and partake in some much needed retail therapy. As I have mentioned before, I live in East Tennessee. I’m not sure what I was expecting–maybe parades in the streets of this backward little hate hole, but honestly the mood seemed almost somber. I didn’t hear a single word about the election let alone any gloating or excitement. I thought about going to get a haircut and decided to wait because I didn’t want to be trapped listening to people yap about making America “great” again. I don’t yet know what conclusion to draw, but I am definitely surprised by the lack of jubilation considering how heavily weighted this town is towards “He Who Must Not Be Named.”

    • karmanot

      That’s because some of the nicest people can be racist Nazis.

      • Snarkaholic

        Soo true. I was working on the last census, and one of my stops was at the house of an older(70-ish) woman (I won’t call her a lady(!), two doors down from me. She’s a Realtor, and has always been extremely friendly and pleasant to me.
        She invited me in and asked me to sit down and, as I was asking her the questions, she asked if the info I had indicated how many AA (she didn’t use that term) residents there were in the city. I told her that it didn’t…
        …and then she launched into a jaw-dropping (on my part) rant about how lucky AA citizens were that we brought them over here (on slave ships, I’m guessing she meant) and that, if we hadn’t, most of them would be wearing loincloths and dancing around a fire.
        I was aghast.

    • Piercedchrlz

      eerily silent at work today, no non-work related conversations were hapenning. Kinda felt like the reaction the office had on 9/1.

      • JuanGalicia

        At work we are all bummed out, we did all talk about it in disbelief… I’m in Monterrey, Mexico tho

        • TuuxKabin

          Friends in Yucatan and CDMX are stunned. Ex-pats and citizens of Mexico. Our messages have been brief and somber. El Hub and I wish we could be with them.

      • olandp

        Someone on another thread referred to it as 11/9.

    • zhera

      Is it the Brexit effect, maybe? Suddenly they realize what they’ve done?

      • AJ Drew

        Interesting thought, but I rather doubt that, sadly.

      • BobSF_94117

        Let’s call it Fuxit.

        • KCMC

          totally works

    • AJ Drew

      Yeah, my neighborhood and workplace have been oddly somber; not sure if that’s a shared sense of shock and disbelief, or if all those “quiet” ones missed by the polls are still keeping quiet.

    • glass

      I’m so glad that you had silence, that is a gift in itself. Last night, minutes after they called the election for that pussy grabbing molester, someone on the next block was shooting his gun off.
      Yes, I live in one of those red states where people celebrate by firing their guns. Thankfully a cop car came around and checked it out. I’m sure they did not find the person though.

      • 2guysnamedjoe

        Here on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, the he silence was not a blessing at all. I had made a point of staying away from all media Tuesday afternoon and night. I went to bed early. I heard absolutely nothing from neighboring apartments — no cheers, no nothing. So I knew to expect the worst in the morning.

      • Grumpy Old Man

        Here there were yuuuge fireworks going off. I had turned off all media last night. I spoke with my sister who is on the way Paris (ENVY), she was freaking about the media; I suggested she read a good book – I knew my b.i.l. would obsess enough for all of us.

        I just woke up from one of those dreams where you wake up and go about your business then realize that you are dreaming and wake up and realize you are dreaming and wake up and realize you are dreaming and wake upl

        I just walked around the apt. making sure that I am awake this time – the proof is that I am able to read. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a3e3ebd2325d9915bacd9b1b15959cb4c0aeea72bba22412df13652a59752b8c.png

    • Ragnar Lothbrok

      It was unusually quiet in my little backward hell hole too. Even the birds stopped singing.

    • BobSF_94117

      For a lot of people, voting for Trump was a protest. They assumed the rest of the country would be rational.

      • JW Swift

        The term “Brexit” comes to mind…

        • BobSF_94117

          Fuxit

      • Michael Abbett

        Let’s not forget that Trump is going into office as the singularly most unpopular president in modern history, the polar opposite of when Obama took office. This honeymoon is going to be very, very short, especially when those old school manufacturing jobs fail and the hillbillies end up losing their healthcare.

        • BobSF_94117

          It doesn’t matter. What matters is the Congress being on board, and they will be. It’ll be one of those honeymoons with so much fucking, the wife gets pregnant right away. Sadly, legislation doesn’t take nine months to take effect. By the time reality sets in, we’ll have a squalling baby (probably triplets) to deal with and they won’t be leaving…

      • Friday

        Obviously, they counted on us carrying their bitching rights too far. Never saw that last straw coming.

    • Michael Abbett

      They’re probably worried about what’s going to happen next. They should be. Marry in haste, repent in leisure.

    • Friday

      Could be like the Regrexit voters who realized “Oh, shit, ‘protest votes’ do more than Facebook likes. Now we gotta eat this. It seemed so abstract and gratifying before.” *clunk of plate full of shit in front of their faces.*

  • JalapeΓ±o Out Of Fucks To Give

    last time i checked, airplanes were an effective method to bring down towers.

  • Piercedchrlz

    Drumph trucks.

    • teeveedub

      How long before there’s a Drumpfster fire in one of them?

  • NZArtist

    Y’know, I should also be thanking Joe more often. Getting up this morning and working on this blog must have taken a supreme effort of will.
    So, thank you, Joe.

    • AW

      I don’t know how he’s doing it. I’m barely contained in my skin myself. Fortitude and perseverance is what Joe has here. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart for all you have done Joe. It means something for me today more so than other days.

    • JalapeΓ±o Out Of Fucks To Give

      I don’t think we thank Joe enough for what he does. I can think of many ways I would be more than happy to show my gratitude.

      • PickyPecker
        • JalapeΓ±o Out Of Fucks To Give

          good grief that reads a bit more skankier than i had anticipated.

          • Lumpy Gaga

            Following Traumatic Trump Tuesday, a little Whory Wednesday is alright.

            Just don’t make a habit of either.

          • fuzzybits
          • JalapeΓ±o Out Of Fucks To Give

            I think we would all love it if Joe just came in an had a kiki with us.

          • Terry Camp

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !mj138d:
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !mj138d:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash138MediaTravelGetPay$97Hour β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…::::::!mj13.8d:….,…..

          • AW

            LOL, I was just thinking I wish I had said something along the same lines.

    • Todd Allis

      Thanks for all you do, Joe!

    • RJ Bone

      Thank you, from one “Joe” to another πŸ˜‰ You gave me a good, safe place to comment with like minds. πŸ™‚

  • Rockola404

    Wonders if the launch of TrumpTv will be delayed until after his term as POTUS is over?

    • Friday

      Unconsidered consequence: this asshole now has the authority to break into all broadcast media at will.

    • Richard, another Canuck

      Once he gets signing authority over the federal bank account, he’ll just be able to use OPM to fund his state TV network.

      • TampaDink

        I wouldn’t be surprised if most every other network evaporates.

        • Richard, another Canuck

          We can only hope that the blight which is Fox is the first to go!

          • TampaDink

            That would be okay…..but he’s more likely to just rebrand it, fire anyone he doesn’t like or who ever said anything less than flattering about him….and reinstate Roger Ailes….with a rehiring bonus.

  • JalapeΓ±o Out Of Fucks To Give

    Joy Reid. Apparently she realizes she’s still a black woman in trump’s america. Unlike moronosa.

    https://twitter.com/JoyAnnReid/status/796452248960323588

    • Rockola404

      I could not bring myself to read but one of Pharma-douche Martin S. tweets.

    • JCF

      Joy clearly out of fucks to give, too.

      • JalapeΓ±o Out Of Fucks To Give

        Changed her avie.

        • Acronym Jim

          That seems to be going around.

          • Nychta

            Yep.

      • NancyP

        Yep. No rehab for your heroin-using adult kids – better prepare to raise those grandkids by yourself.
        404 Fuck Not Given re: the white middle class

  • JCF

    I expect we’ll see similar at every stinkin’ edifice marked w/ the “T” word. }-0<<<

  • another_steve

    To my fellow Maryland queers: We elected, yesterday, a very good man to replace the retiring Barbara Mikulski — Chris Van Hollen.

    Rejoice, my Free State sisters and brothers.

    • Bluto

      Good news & I recall MD voting 80%+/- for Hillary. With that & your crab cakes you got it going on.

  • mikeinrkfd

    Now we can really dump Trump into one of the trucks!

  • ultragreen

    O/T: According to Google Elections, the Democratic Senator Hassan has defeated incumbent Republican Senator Ayotte by 716 votes, 100% of the votes are now in. However, because the vote was so close, there exists the possibility of a recount.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      Secy of State certified with a slightly higher difference: 1,000 and change. Doesn’t mean it’s over, of course. As we all remember, certification is the 1st step.

  • 2guysnamedjoe

    Oh noes! I was planning a trip to drumpf mall today to shop for some flashy overpriced crap with ostentatious labels. What ever shall I do now?

  • JW Swift

    What, they couldn’t find garbage trucks instead?

    • Lumpy Gaga

      Why bring the coals to Newcastle?

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    I’m not in a joking mood, yet. But should be be soon.
    Luckily, I have to prep for a 4 hour Master Gardener’s Presentation I was asked to give on Friday. This will help stave off some very unwelcomed feelings.

  • PickyPecker
    • Friday

      Speaking as someone who actually got locked under a staircase for being too magical, we’re gonna get through what comes…in the aggregate, anyway. I don’t happen to like my personal chances but I’ve lived there too.

    • RJ Bone

      “Hold the line!”

      Feel free to insert topics and people’s names as you see fit. It’s an awesome speech πŸ™‚

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXLVFnl3WcE

  • ultragreen

    So when are they going to install the anti-missile defense shield around Trump Tower, as per the new president’s instructions? You can never be too careful!

    • Friday

      Did you miss the bit where I said he’s a walking Reichstag fire? Suck on your ‘win’ and go away.

  • peacfulseas inWA

    Did the American voting public not already insert a joke!

    • ultragreen

      Touche.

  • fuzzybits

    How will Barron give up his whole floor?

    • TampaDink

      He won’t. He & his creators are unlikely to live in public housing, especially public housing recently occupied by a Kenyan family. Besides, it is old & not nearly glitzy enough to suit their “taste”.

  • Lazycrockett
    • zhera

      Wasn’t he against Trump? He’ll be one of the first up against the wall.

      Of course, he’s happy about the Senate and Congress, but if he’d have any brain cells left he’d be packing his bags.

    • teeveedub

      Fuck Scott Walker and anyone who thinks like him or supports him. The filibuster was fine for that sorry lot when they wanted to obstruct everything that actually would have moved this country forward.

  • ByronK
  • Lazycrockett

    #Calexit is trending.

    • AW

      I want Washington, Oregon and California to merge with Canada I think we’d welcome them.

      • Matthew Delemos

        Well, I do have a Grandma in Vancouver, but that still sounds easier than moving.

      • D. Gray

        That would not be wise. California is a larger economy than Canada, but we love ya

    • Stephen Elliot Phillips

      God i hope so. Make sacramento the national capital. Hell lets take washington snd oregon too

      • Robincho

        Read “Ecotopia” by Ernest Callenbach. Just sayin’…

    • Sam_Handwich
      • PickyPecker

        Ya know….maybe it’s time for these things. Look at how the maps of red and blue keep turning up over and over. And how we are forced to take a ‘president’ like dRUMPf for years on end.
        We remain divided as a country; more and more so as time goes on. Perhaps it really is time to consider these secession movements as an alternative to outright violence, prolonged periods of agony and animosity.

        PS: Altho I love IL, I would SO move to NE and be happy there.

        • Ray Taylor

          I hope you don’t mean Nebraska. I would go west, young man.

        • TrollopeReader

          yes you would be happy. ‘cuz i’m just down the road apiece ….

      • Friday

        Not without me or the smoking ashes of my corpse you don’t, my dear homeland. All the New Englanders now stuck in the South, btw, just give us plots in Maine, (OK, maybe a Quonset hut too) we’ll handle the rest.

    • JalapeΓ±o Out Of Fucks To Give

      I don’t mean to be obtuse, but WTF does that even mean?

      • TuuxKabin

        Like BRExit, Britain leaving the EU. I just heard from a friend in California it, Calexit, is ‘trending’, a movement to secede. I guess you need one of those social apps I’m too anti social to use to find it.

        • Phillip in L.A.

          Yes, this was actually covered by BBC News this morning!

      • Acronym Jim

        It’s similar to Cascadiexit. We’re trying to convince British Columbia to annex us.

      • Ray Taylor

        Wikipedia tells all.

    • clay

      As Trae Crowder reminded us, about 40% of the voters in CA went for Trump, and about 40% of the voters in Mississippi went for Clinton.

    • RJ Bone
  • Lazycrockett

    I’m sure the guy who wrote “Art of the Deal” has left the country.

  • seththayer

    I haven’t left my house all day, except to go to the store, where our
    Trustafarian population looked like zombies and the locals were all smiles, but no one was smiling at each other…which is weird in Maine.

    • TrollopeReader

      If I could have, I’d have driven a day trip to my favorite museum to see your exhibition. The driving would have let me process all this, and the art would put a (dour) smile on my face. The locals here on the Cape — well, of those few i saw (also at the store) weren’t all smiles. (duncan)

  • danolgb

    If I were a tenant of the building I’d be pissed.

    • Dreaming Vertebrate

      Especially when Trump doubles their rent.

  • Sam_Handwich

    i’m still numb

    • Dreaming Vertebrate

      Me too, so I’m looking for trolls to [hush] as therapy.
      Just picked off liberal_tears on another page.

      • Dreaming Vertebrate

        My gawd! What happens if I [hush] myself ??

      • JalapeΓ±o Out Of Fucks To Give

        are you on twitter? plenty to choose from there!

        • Dreaming Vertebrate

          I think I set up an account a year or so ago, but have never used it and would not have a clue how to log in now. Can u have more than one?

          • JalapeΓ±o Out Of Fucks To Give

            you can, but you need to use a different email address.

    • Friday

      I’m numb but still working. Been here before, too. Whatever they do to us, know it’s nothing *new.* Capiche?

      (Meanwhile, local NPR gets round to saying, ‘Oh, by the way, several states in the dought-stricken Bible Belt are *still on fire, only more,* in case you smell any smoke, and if your water’s a funny color you should do this and that.)

    • Richard, another Canuck

      And full of anxiety.

  • Rebecca Gardner

    A vision of our future police state.

  • Lumpy Gaga

    Dear mainstream media: Did you want this fiddle back? It smells a bit… smoky.

    • RobynWatts

      I think they had traded it for a gold fiddle. It only cost them their souls, but they were empty for the most part.

  • RobynWatts

    “How nice…..Trump now has a way to move his belongings to the White House.”

    Weak, I know, but I’m still hurting over this.

    • Ray Taylor

      tRump will redecorate the white house at our expense with solid gold furnishings.

      • RoFaWh

        The government will get billed for solid gold, but Drumpf being Drumpf, when examined closely it’ll all turn out to be the usual microscopically thin layer of gold leaf.

  • Rockola404

    FWIW I sent this to two longtime friends to help cheer them up. I’m in a funk as well today.
    http://theoatmeal.com/comics/plane

  • karen in kalifornia

    Refresh your Trump’s american horror story with this NPR link to Trump’s mid-October announcement of his first days as Prez. http://www.npr.org/2016/11/09/501451368/here-is-what-donald-trump-wants-to-do-in-his-first-100-days
    Wipe out Obama’s executive orders ie. LGBT non discrimination issues.
    School choice ie. your tax payer money sends kids to bigot schools
    Wipe out female reproductive health
    Shack SCOTUS with Scalia’s
    Rescind off shore drilling prohibitions
    Etc. Pick out your favorites and share.

  • Henry Auvil

    I guess I’ll have to stop spitting on Trump Tower every time I walk by. It’s not worth ending up in Guantanamo over.

  • peacfulseas inWA

    ” He’s the president but I don’t care ” Blaze Foley’s Oval Room just needs a few tweeks such as president elect mcfuckfacefuckface imagine inserted in place of the shrub.
    “In his Oval Room, in his rocking chair
    He’s the President but I dont care
    He’s a business man, he got business ties
    He got dollar signs in both his eyes
    Got a big airplane, take him everywhere
    Got a limousine when he get there
    Everywhere he goes, makes the people mad
    Makes the poor man pay and the rich man glad ”
    https://youtu.be/Uahasx5h-qw

  • Drumph trucks….
    …and since they’re DoS, that means NYC is payin for this shit. There’s your joke – and a bad one it is.

    • Friday

      Trump just got control of a *whole* lot of ‘Other people’s money.’

  • Richard, another Canuck

    Wow, they already planted a tree in that first dump truck.

  • Gregory Peterson

    I dropped in there about 15 years or so ago. The lobby made me feel like peeing and all that pink granite reminded me of an experiment years ago, where they put prisoners in pink painted rooms on the theory that it made them less aggressive.

  • Steverino

    Dump trucks to shield a dumb fuck.

  • Halou

    I guess seeing him “fall” out of an upper floor window is illegal.

  • karmanot

    Dump trucks? There’s one in the penthouse:

  • karmanot
    • Halou

      Shit falling from the sky?
      Trump Ducks.

  • MassageBear

    Henceforth the phrase “take a shit’ shall forever be known as “take a trump.”

  • Raybob

    My joke: “Fortified and protected by devices that haul garbage and the things no one else wants.”

  • RoFaWh

    “drumpf trucks”???

    “drumpf drucks”???

  • Terry Camp

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !mj138d:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !mj138d:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash138MediaTravelGetPay$97Hour β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…::::::!mj138d:….,…..