Two Dozen Celebrities Do Funny Or Die Pro-Hillary Singalong: Holy Fucking Shit, You’ve Got To Vote

I insist that you watch this. Via Slate:

With just days until the presidential election, celebrity voter public service announcements are being churned out as quickly as celebrities can make them. A new “We Are the World”–style anthem from Funny or Die is the latest to tell voters to go vote—and tells them who not to vote for. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’s Rachel Bloom both created and leads the desperate and profane anthem, called “Holy Shit (You’ve Got to Vote),” joined by Elizabeth Banks, Moby, Adam Scott, Jaime Camil, Naya Rivera, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Jane Lynch, Patti LuPone, and more.

With lyrics like “If we don’t work to prevent this/ it’s four years of The Apprentice” and “Donald Trump is human syphilis/ we could be the antidote,” this is definitely not a nuanced entreaty to the unconverted. Bloom told Entertainment Weekly that her goal isn’t necessarily to get Trump voters to change their minds but to mobilize people who might not vote at all. “If this video motivates one person, especially in a swing state, to just get out there, then it will have been worth it.”

  • Phillip in L.A.

    Thanks for posting, Joe!

  • AW

    I’ve listened/watched this today more times than I can count. It’s delicious!

    The Orange, talking, STD is a apt name for Donald.

  • Tiger Quinn

    I love this more than almond butter and homemade jam and pot butter sandwiches. Fantastic!!

    • Phillip in L.A.

      Hunny!

    • Chipsahoy

      I don’t know – pot butter sandwiches sound pretty good.

    • Todd20036

      Try sunflower butter.

  • AtticusP

    Over at the B-word website, they’re characterizing it as a profanity-laced diatribe presented by a bunch of talentless losers supporting a badly tainted candidate.

    With their heads that far up their collective asses, it’s a wonder these people can see it all.

    • TampaDink

      Yet they have no problem with Hillary being referred to, by their own, as a C-word.

      • AtticusP

        Hell! They probably insist on it!

        • TampaDink

          They sell t-shirts….far worse than “I slapped Ouiser Boudreaux!”

    • Rick

      Oh no they did NOT infer that Miss LuPone was anything less than fantastic!?

  • June Gordon

    There is no “a” in syphilis.

    • Tiger Quinn

      Did you know that even the Pope loves a pedant?

      • Michael R
        • Phillip in L.A.

          Didn’t even know the old witch had melted, and I am OVERJOYED! That’s what I get for keeping away from J.M.G. for so long!

          • TampaDink

            Let this be a lesson to you, sir!

          • Phillip in L.A.

            Jeez, what does a guy have to do to get a caning around here!

            (The Great Karnak.) I predict . . . “Just ask!”

          • TampaDink

            Asking nicely usually works. ;-p

          • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild

            2016 may go down as the worse year in history if Hillary Clinton doesn’t win on Taco Tuesday. So at least we’ll have the fact that Scalia and Schlafly bought the farm to comfort us through the long, cold inevitible nuclear winter of a Trump presidency.

          • Phillip in L.A.

            Pro-tip: stock up on Krugerrands and opioids! So, that’s actually *two* pro-tips.

      • TampaDink

        As she should. Lots of accessorizing when you have such fancy duds is required. Oh wait….you didn’t type “pendent”.

      • Snarkaholic

        And a pederast!

      • 2guysnamedjoe

        He loves pedants so much he refuses to fire them. He just shuffles them from one parish to another.

    • Acronym Jim

      But there is one in “team.”

  • Blake J Butler
    • Treant

      A true friend points out when your teeth have been so over-whitened they look like Chiclets. Joel has no true friends.

    • ByronK

      Wow, this dude really exists! Honestly, I had to check in order to believe it.

    • teeveedub

      Ewwwwwwww. I’m still recovering from thinking about Trump’s disgusting sexual exploits. And now you made us think about Joel Larsen rubbing one out. There’s not enough brain bleach to get rid of all those images.

  • bkmn

    They didn’t include anything about the fact that Pence could become President if Trump finds the job too much work. That is a very big detail that people aren’t thinking about.

  • Neely OHara

    As if I needed another reason to adore Rachel Bloom…

  • Tiger Quinn

    Walking around singing this. Husband is giving me the Arched Eyebrow ™.

    • TampaDink

      Arched Eyebrow™? Are you secretly married to Tim Kaine? ;-p

      • Phillip in L.A.

        I was gonna say, “Oh, so that’s what you call it, eh?” but thought better of it.

        • TampaDink

          Never shy from commenting when the results are likely to be found to be amusing by at least a few of us regular, irregulars.

          • Phillip in L.A.

            Point well taken, TampaDink, thx!

          • TampaDink

            ;-D

          • Adam King

            Can you imagine this site without inappropriate comments? A wasteland. Crickets.

          • TampaDink

            Boring. Boring beyond words.

          • GeoffreyPS

            I come for the stories. I stay for the snark.

      • stuckinthewoods

        You should have seen it years ago. That eyebrow looked like an agility class graduate. I think he’s had it partially botoxed.

        • TampaDink

          Now I have to go & Google old photos of Kaine.
          After my quest….I definitely see what you mean.

  • jsolar13

    Amazing. I really needed this right now!

    • another_steve

      Yes, it was good.

      “Voting for Trump” is the new litmus test.

      I mean… Would you make brunch for, or fuck, someone who voted for Donald Trump?

      • pch1013

        I would promise him a fuck and some brunch, then renege on both promises while simultaneously bashing him on Twitter.

        • another_steve

          Hateful, but innovative.

  • SoCalGal20

    This is great! I got a good laugh when I saw it this morning.

  • Treant

    OT: I’m getting a little testy as election day nears.

    Phone rings. I pick it up.

    Right-Wing Loon: “Did you know that Hillary Clinton wants YOU to pay for abortions?”
    Treant: “Where do I send the check?”
    RWL: “You APPROVE of abortion?”
    T: “Yes, if it reduces the number of calls from people like you.”

    • Adam King

      Perfect. I like you testy.

      • Treant

        By Monday I’ll just be spraying spittle while I spew obscenities.

        • Phillip in L.A.

          Save the spit for something *really* useful–never know when you might need a glob of lube!

          • Treant

            We buy Astroglide in the gallon size.

          • Phillip in L.A.

            I actually prefer Albolene®–and yes, I know it’s not compatible with rubber, vinyl, and silicon products.

          • stuckinthewoods

            If you need that much lube try guar gum. Food grade thickener, it becomes very, very slick in solution. Cheap lube, water based. Lower grades guar are used in drilling as an organic lubricant. All those gluco- and galactomannans become lube-y, but in our religion we use guar. Easily available.

          • Librarykid

            I thought we were talking about drilling; no?

          • Phillip in L.A.

            I learn every time I hang at Joe’s! Thx, stuckinthewoods–always see it on food labels, and occasionally in the pantry on ‘Chopped’ (TV Food Network), but never knew exactly what it was or did.

          • stuckinthewoods

            It is available more readily in grocery stores now (gluten-free) but this is a use you might not have seen on “Chopped” unless I misunderstand the nature of that show. These edible -mannans are slickly colloidal and I’ve found with guar one can make a large amount of sterile water based, thick as desired, slippery lube cheaply out of a food grade powder. Recipe : Sift guar into water. Microwave. Add two men and stir. A ritual in my religion entitling me to tax deductions, I maintain.

          • Phillip in L.A.

            “A ritual in my religion entitling me to tax deductions, I maintain”

            I’ll buy that for a dollar! In some of the newer seasons of ‘Chopped,’ they do have a few substances available for manipulation by ‘molecular gastronomy,’ e.g., Agar-Agar Powder, Sodium Alginate, etc. Don’t know if they specifically have guar gum. Ted Allen? Are you around?

          • stuckinthewoods

            I had to look up Ted Allen. Ok, I can imagine him covered in lube. All these things like xanthan, agar, locust, guar, konjac, make these lovely gels. I can easily find guar in grocery stores, I think even Bob’s Red Mill. I’ve never used it for cooking. Mostly just this…..spiritual use, and a few other house or garden uses. Gelling RoundUp for spot use, added to mortar in tight repoint, etc., but one must never neglect those spiritual responsibilities. There is a liturgy to follow.

        • Pugsandcoffee

          To which they’ll reply, “Perfect! So we can assume you’re a Trump supporter?”

        • PRW

          So, an ordinary Monday?

          • Treant

            Y’know, pretty much. At least until I’ve had my fourth cup of tea.

      • Phillip in L.A.

        Hello, Adam King! Nice to see you again!

        • Adam King

          Hello, friendly Phillip! Be glad you don’t live in a swing state! Ohio is madness.

          • Phillip in L.A.

            Oh, I am glad!

    • Michael Smith

      I think I would have said “I already pay for abortions.”

      • Treant

        I was waiting for, “Do you know she approves of third trimester abortions?”

        My go-to answer is, “I’ll get the pliers.”

        • Michael Smith

          I’d be like “Third trimester? Why is she so conservative?” just to screw with him.

    • TampaDink

      I love you. I really, really love you!

      • Treant

        Most of these have developed over years of being annoyed by these calls (or people corralling me in person).

        This is from the “I’m Very Annoyed, Don’t Care About The Other Person” file.

        • TampaDink

          I’ve become spoiled by the use of screening calls based on unrecognized numbers on caller i.d.. Without it, we’d probably leave the ringers turned off & let every call go to voice mail.

          • Treant

            I generally do that, but I noticed the caller ID mentioned Right To Life, enough that I recognized it. I was not happy that the phone had rung about ten times today, so…

          • TampaDink

            Sound reasoning….no surprise coming from you….or almost any of us flying monkeys.

          • Traxley Launderette

            Why am I not getting ANY OF THESE CALLS???

            I got a call reminiding me of an appointment on Monday. A friend called. And Honda called — again — about replacing my airbags.

            I have yet to get called on anything related to the election. What’s wrong with me?

          • TuuxKabin

            Maybe it’s the air bags?

          • another_steve

            Possibly because you’re not on the mailing / hit list of any partisan organization.

            Because my household is clearly recognized as goyim / queer friendly, we get calls and shit mail from everywhere.

            I could write the book on it.

          • another_steve

            My household is the ultimate nightmare scenario in that regard.

            My husband is a Catholic queer activist who works for Catholic organizations that work to end the oppression of queer people. (I’m a secular heathen Jew.)

            So we constantly get these phone messages from religious organizations re “Give us money so we can restore religious freedom.” Meaning, “Give us money so we can kill you.”

            Consequently, all incoming calls go directly to our answering machine. Friends and relatives know this, and know we’ll call them back.

          • (((GC)))

            Secular heathen Jews unite!

            (And I screen calls too during election season.)

          • another_steve

            LMAO.

            I am 100 percent convinced that the future survival of humankind depends on we secular heathen Jews. Detached, as we are, from mythological spiritual thinking, but not, per se, from spiritual thinking in general.

            Raised by Jewish mamas.

            Strong women. Women in possession of the wisdom of the ages.

            An army of Jewish mamas cannot lose.

          • (((GC)))

            And if they like you, you WILL eat!

          • another_steve

            Well that’s the thing.

            Evolution produced the Jewish mother to ensure that the younger generations will eat and thrive.

          • Cattleya1

            You can never win an argument with a Jewish Mother… Don’t even try.

          • another_steve

            Of course not. But that’s because a good Jewish mother encapsulates the wisdom of the ages. The joys, the pains, the struggles.

            Italian Catholic mothers are close runners-up in this.

            One doesn’t mess with a good Italian Catholic mother.

          • TampaDink

            We all have to find our way to do whatever it takes to retain our sanity while being barraged by countless calls, direct mailers & spam.

          • Snarkaholic

            Direct mail brochures make nifty litter box liners.

          • TampaDink

            We’d have to go out & adopt a cat, then get my spousal unit back on allergy shots, then get the dog into behavior therapy…it seems like a lot of trouble to go through in order to use ’em that way. The recycle can is large….and so much easier.

        • KarenAtFOH

          More, please.

    • whollyfool

      Thanks. I needed that!

    • fuzzybits

      We;re just getting robocalls from Ivanka several times a day.

      • PickyPecker

        For heaven’s sake….just BUY the matching handbag and get it over with! 😉

      • TuuxKabin

        Asking for ‘design’ ideas?

    • Blake Jordan

      Rather my taxes go to abortion funding than covering the expenses of religious establishments that don’t pay taxes…

      • Phillip in L.A.

        Mwah!

        • Lulawsisson

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !mj282d:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !mj282d:
          ➽➽
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    • Love it

    • (((GC)))

      Abortion should be available on demand and without apology.

      Public funding should DAMNED WELL be available, as it is for other medical procedures.

      Equating embryos — potential children — with actual, living, breathing people is nothing less than an emotionally resonant ploy to subjugate women.

      • Adam King

        Even if they were actual people, nobody has a right to use somebody else’s body without their consent.

        • (((GC)))

          That’s precisely the argument Eileen McDonagh makes for abortion rights: the embryo’s possible “personhood” is irrelevant. Consent to sex does not equal consent to pregnancy. Pregnancy imposes such serious changes and risks on a woman’s body that without consent, it’s assault, from which the woman has the right to defend herself. We recognize a person’s right to defend themselves from both nonpersons (like a rabid dog) and people (like a man with a knife).

          In fact, under that argument, the state must provide public funding, to assist women in terminating their unwanted pregnancies, just as it bears the cost of police and judicial services in defending people from other assaults.

          (Prof. McDonagh’s original article where I learned of this, “Abortion Rights After South Dakota”, Free Inquiry 26(4), has gone behind a paywall, but you can google for other relevant writings.)

          • Adam King

            Consent, moreover, has to be ongoing, and able to be withdrawn at any time.

          • Phillip in L.A.

            Thank you, (((GC)))–that’s about the best I’ve ever heard it put! I only wish Justice Blackmun had used your argument in delivering the opinion of the US Supreme Court in Roe, because his ‘argument’ is indefensible as a matter of constitutional law (imo)

      • Gigi

        Talibangelists love to tell us how much they love Israel while conveniently ignoring the fact that the state pays for abortions, all public health care actually, and has allowed gays to serve openly in their army for more than a decade.

        • (((GC)))

          And the sky has completely and utterly failed to fall.

          One possible conclusion is that God loves abortions, God loves queer folks in our diversity just as we are, God loves various varieties of belief and unbelief that aren’t necessarily about having accepted a lord and savior Jeezus….

    • Rex

      My caller ID has been very useful lately.
      But I did pick up a call from the NRA and gave them an earful. He hung up on me, how rude!

      • PickyPecker

        The only political call I’ve gotten this year was back in primaries season – from DocStabby’s folks. Poor thing….when I said ‘no, I will not support him,’ she quickly said ‘Please don’t yell at me.’ LOLOL

      • TuuxKabin

        How dare he! How very dare he!!!

      • Robincho

        Happier it were, I think, to have Caller IQ rather than Caller ID…

        • Rex

          I’d never hear from my family then.

    • JT

      Shithead Randall Terry’s deplorables are going around the South in a bus that says “It’s a sin to vote for Hillary.”

      • Todd20036

        It’s a sin for me to fuck whom I want to fuck anyway.

        May as well go for broke.

        • JT

          If there were such a thing as sin, christofascists like Terry would be festering in it.

        • (((GC)))

          Sin is imaginary. Dan Barker said it well in Losing Faith in Faith:

          “The very concept of sin comes from the Bible. Christianity offers to solve a problem of its own making! Would you be thankful to a person who cut you with a knife in order to sell you a bandage?”

    • PickyPecker

      My day just got 100% brighter!!! My neighbor just brought me a huge armful of stunning, fresh bittersweet stems she cut from her paddock fencing!

      • Adam King

        How wonderful! There’s nothing that says autumn like bittersweet. *Envy!*

        • houstonray

          OK, I’m going to have to google bittersweet….

          Im back…how pretty! I never knew what those were called. I wished they grew in these parts, I’d plant them at the farm in a heartbeat.

          • Adam King

            It grows wild around here. I used to pick some up when I was out for a walk. Unfortunately I’m not quite ambulatory enough to make it to the wilder parts, and I don’t think I ought to steal it from people’s yards.

          • John30013

            I’ve never seen it before, but it certainly is pretty.
            http://www.djroger.com/base/images/bittersweet_branch.jpg

          • houstonray

            Gorgeous!

    • Gustav2

      And I would like just one person on cable news point out the Trump campaign must be worried about Ohio if Donnie is in an area of the state, Wilmington, where he should win bigly.

      • Adam King

        The Trump idiots make stupid mistakes. When it comes to campaigning, they have no plan and make no sense.

        • Gustav2

          Hell, Sen Portman can see Wilmington from his house! lol

    • justmeeeee

      You got Hillary pregnant? I can think of no other reason she would want you to pay for her abortion.

    • EweTaw

      Many many points to you. 🙂

    • Traxley Launderette

      Love u.

    • Gigi

      I love it. Did something similar to some Talibangelists that knocked on my door and asked, “If you died tomorrow would you go to heaven or hell?” Without missing a beat I said, “Hell, obviously. I’m a practicing homosexual who’s been living in sin with another man for 15 years.” They backed away from me so fast that they almost fell down the front steps.

      • Treant

        “Heaven. But you’d call it hell since it has naked dancing men.”

        🙂

    • TK

      Sweet. Gotta remember that one!!

    • PRW

      > I pick it up.

      After the first few years of telephone aversion therapy (usually described as ‘call-center jobs’) i had the revelation that you don’t, actually, have to do that on your own time. Suddenly it was really weird seeing the Pavlovian behavior of the unenlightened; really, when was the last time an unexpected call brought you good news? Surely, if the call matters, they’ll leave voice mail?

  • marshlc

    I think I’m really old – I didn’t recognize anybody.

  • TK
    • TampaDink

      Papa can you hear me?
      Papa can you see me voting for my life?

      • Snarkaholic

        Looking at the polls
        I see a zillion dumb assholes
        Support that schmuck!
        Oh, will this nightmare never end…
        …and where’s the nearest taco truck?

  • xersnoyl

    I’ve watched this over and over all day. It makes me feel good…

  • PickyPecker
    • Treant

      Shocking. Don lacks any control over his hands when grabbin’ pussies or beating his kids.

      Also, I spent most of my freshman year drunk and/or stoned. Don’t knock it.

      • PickyPecker

        Rookie. I did fresh., soph and most of Jr. years in various states of impairment. 🙂

        • Treant

          I spent most of the latter years with my face in a pillow.

          • TuuxKabin

            She was buns-up kneeling
            Buns up!
            I was wheeling an dealing
            Wheeling and dealing an
            She surrendered to the feeling
            She sweetly surrendered
            An’ she started in to squealing.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4hzVpYAP-U

        • Phillip in L.A.

          thought that said “impalement”

          [Edit: Added: I predict PP will reply, “That too!”]

          • PickyPecker

            *cough* well, that too I guess. 🙂

          • Phillip in L.A.

            ha!

  • Rex

    These vile liberal celebrities, holy fuckin’ shit I love ’em.

  • Snarkaholic

    Bravissimo!!!

  • Phillip in L.A.

    Excellent and funny video, but they should get a professional prosody consultant

    • Maggie 4NoH8

      What is prosody?

      • TuuxKabin

        I was wondering too. Found out, it’s the patterns of rhythm and sound used in poetry.

      • Phillip in L.A.

        Prosody is the internal rhythm of a language. It is the part of a language’s usage (as opposed to grammar, morphology, or syntax) dealing with word stress, length or shortness of sounds, rhythm, versification, and poetic metre.

        [Edited: Added “or syntax”]

  • SoCalGal20

    Obama speaking right now in Fayetteville, NC!!

    https://twitter.com/cspan/status/794625861161013248

    • The_Wretched

      How dare he engage in a political act, he’s the president!

      (sorry, the RWNJs have been running this line recently)

      • SoCalGal20

        Right?!

        Well he just led a revival at that Fayetteville rally. So inspirational and motivating!

  • CB

    I can’t even begin to express how much I needed this today. Thanks!

  • Lazycrockett

    5 millions fans help chicago celebrate the cubs win.

    • Lazycrockett
      • The_Wretched

        Hah! i’m impressed they moved the Willis Tower.

      • Maggie 4NoH8

        Sure hope someone shares this photo of next year’s NOM March for Marriage in DC… Brian Brown will want to tweet out proof of his grass roots support.

      • houstonray

        OK, I’m confused, was this guy just messing with Trump people or did he seriously say this was a Trump rally?

        Sorry, just got home from work, long day, brain isn’t in full sarcasm detection mode?

        • John30013

          It’s snark. Seems to be a theme of his (and some of his followers) to “repurpose” photos of humongous crowds at various events and label them as Trump rallies.

          The Willis Tower (a Chicago landmark—the black tower with the white spires, in case you’re not familiar) in the skyline gives it away. Some people following him on Twitter apparently thought his tweet was serious, so he went on a long tweet storm about how the Willis Tower is so big you can see it from Philadelphia.

          • houstonray

            Thank you!!

  • shellback

    I loved it despite the fact I didn’t know a single performer. No, not one.

    • Adam King

      I hobbled over to the screen and squinted through my trifocals and thought I recognized a face, but I couldn’t put a name to it. (Nevertheless, I was amused and entertained.)

      • shellback

        Yes, I’m an old dude. But you know what? I’m a fucking survivor.

        • Adam King

          I’m glad I’m not young anymore.

      • Adam King

        It was Patti LuPone, I came to understand after it was explained to me.

    • JoeMyGod

      Gay star of Modern Family. Biggest selling techno artist of all time. Major Broadway diva. Major lesbian comic/actress. Two female leads of Big Bang Theory. Female star of 30 Rock. Etc….

      • shellback

        I’m guessing one would have to own a television machine of some sort.

        • Chucktech

          It’s not ALL crap…

          • EweTaw

            True. PBS still broadcasts Lawrence Welk reruns.

          • TuuxKabin

            thanks all gods and goddesses.

      • coram nobis

        And one very quiet baby.

  • JoeMyGod

    As much as I like this, I must point out the misspelling of “syphilis” in the subtitles….

    • JoeMyGod

      Unless it’s an inside joke I’m unaware of….

      • TampaDink

        It wouldn’t matter, don the con wouldn’t be about to sound it out, in order to understand the word anyhow.

      • coram nobis

        Probably not. Still, not bad for such a quick composition and a good upbeat message. It’s better than the alternative, which is us, 2 or 3 years from now, sitting at a bar in Unoccupied France, singing the Marseillaise and crying in our Pernod.

        • KnownDonorDad
          • coram nobis

            Yes, and a number of the actors in that set were emigrés from occupied Europe. Those tears weren’t acting, and it’s a song very much after the downfall.

      • Traxley Launderette

        Phyllis Sclafly’s secret twin sister.

    • A Dopehead in a Cubs Cap

      I’m pretty sure Jesse Tyler Ferguson sang “anecdote” instead of “antidote,” too.

  • TallBearNC

    Fucking hysterical. I love the part about saying don’t throw your vote away all third-party

  • Lazycrockett
    • KnownDonorDad

      Dang, that’s dark. Right down to the parentheses around Harry Enten’s name.

  • Reality.Bites

    Nice to see Jane Lynch and Naya Rivera in there. I know that Darren Criss, Chris Colfer and Kevin McHale have also been active for Hillary. I’d guess other cast members as well, that I haven’t been aware of.

    I just bring this up so I can have fun reminding Donald Trump that his sole endorsement from the Glee cast to date has been Mark Salling, just before he was arrested on Child Porn charges that have since been bumped up to the federal system.

    • Lazycrockett

      He was also just accused of rape last week.

      • Mark

        “Mark Salling will not be charged for rape because the woman who made the accusation waited way too long to report the incident.

        The L.A. County District Attorney just rejected the case, citing
        insufficient evidence, lack of corroboration and a 4 year delay in
        reporting the alleged crime.

        The woman told cops she was a 22-year-old virgin at the time, and told Mark, “I don’t know if I can do this.” She claimed he persisted, giving her booze and then engaged in intercourse, all the while she claims she was pleading for him to stop.

        The woman claimed Mark told her he needed “five more minutes” and never stopped. The woman also claims she eventually blacked out, only to awake and find Mark sleeping next to her.

        The woman claims the next morning Mark wanted to have sex again and she says she consented.”

  • ByronK

    After watching this, I’m smiling and I think my shoulders have dropped an inch lower.

  • TallBearNC

    Who’s the cute bearded kinda slender guy near the mic? Sort of brown – reddish hair/beard

    • Lazycrockett

      I think thats the guy who played the gay dude in Happy Endings.

    • TallBearNC

      Adam Pally 34 yrs old. That’s him from happy endings.

    • TallBearNC

      Ack. NOT cute without the beard lol. Some guys just need one IMO.

  • glass

    I love the “I’m too famous to come into the studio, so I’m singing on my phone.”

  • Gustav2
  • SoCalGal20
    • Friday

      (Who’s ‘PPP’ again?)

      • TuuxKabin

        Public Policy Polling is a U.S. Democratic polling firm based in Raleigh, North Carolina. PPP was founded in 2001 by businessman Dean Debnam, the firm’s current president and chief executive officer. Best known for putting out highly accurate polling on key political races across the country. Wikipedia.

        I just took a robo call poll from them yesterday. First one I felt that asked all the right questions for my ‘leaning’ far left.

        • Friday

          Thank you. 🙂

        • NowAnAgnostic

          I believe I fall into the category leaning far left, but what does it exactly mean these days? I used to be classified as a liberal, but that became a dirty word after Raygun. As you can probably tell, I’m old, and would NEVER vote for any repugnican, no matter how moderate they portrayed themselves.

          • TuuxKabin

            I dunno. I remember during the deadly raygun years a friend corrected me when I described myself as liberal, she told me, ‘you’re progressive, not liberal’.

            I’m with you. I’m old and would never EVER vote for a rethugliscum either.

            When friends voted against David Dinkins’ second term, his one term was an unfortunate four years for the city and his administration, I felt betrayed by them. I”d rather have given him a second chance than vote rethugliscum, especially ghouliani. Gawd, I hated that era.

  • Lazycrockett

    That was very well done, Funny or Die is so hit or miss though.

    • Friday

      They allow themselves the option to fail right there, so, better than not trying. 🙂

  • (((GC)))

    Sorry to fact-check, but: the Republican candidate isn’t a sentient septic tank!

    • Friday

      Oh, he’s *sentient,* it’s just that ‘cogito ergo in cloacae mentis effluviae septis sum’ isn’t exactly a great qualification for office.

      • Adam King

        Having the wherewithal to quip in Latin is, however, a qualification for something.

        • Friday

          Yeaah, that one did kinda bang out fast. Did kinda used to scare people that way sometimes. Can’t vouch for the sentence construction though. 🙂

  • bambinoitaliano

    This election is truly Holy fucking shit, it’s Jesus fucking Christ indeed.

    • Friday

      “This message brought to you by the Church of Jesus Christ, What The Fuck Is Going On, Here?” 🙂

      • bambinoitaliano

        Or The Latter Day of the Insane.

  • Cousin Bleh

    Damn, I really miss Happy Endings.

    • djcoastermark

      Egg rolls are good.

  • coram nobis

    Uplifting. Get out of the cabaret and vote.

  • JT

    Catholic parish’s bulletin says Democratic voters are doomed to hell, Clinton is satanic

    Between requests for prayers for the sick and a notice for an upcoming chastity luncheon, a newsletter from a Catholic church in Old Town that doubles as an election-day polling site included a flier that told parishioners they’ll go to hell if they vote for Democrats.

    Two Sundays later, the message had changed: Satan was working through former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

    The Oct. 16 bulletin from the Immaculate Conception Catholic Church was stuffed with a flyer written in both English and Spanish that cited five legislative policies — support for abortion, same-sex marriage, euthanasia, human cloning, and embryonic stem cell research — that will doom a politician and their supporters to eternal damnation.

    “It is a mortal sin to vote Democrat … immediately after death the souls of those who die in a state of mortal sin descend into hell,” the flyer said. It cited the five public policy issues from the “Voters Guide for Serious Catholics” and said that Democrats violate each of them, while Republicans cross none.

    http://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/news/politics/sd-me-church-bulletin-20161102-story.html

    Tax that fucking church!

    • TallBearNC

      Already being dealt with. I’ve gotten over 3,000 people who sent in an IRS complaint and I sent a few tax lawyers to demand the IRS step in

  • coram nobis

    “I’m Hillary Clinton, and — holy shit!”

  • JWC

    Loved it loved it watched it a few times Right to the point! VOTE!! Just one thing and it anounts to no more than a spelling mistake to the general message Hitler was WW2 not WW1

    • Acronym Jim

      They were making a comparison of the conditions in post-WWI Germany that LED to the rise of Hitler. That bit stands, but yeah, the spelling mistake was annoying.

      • JWC

        Ok understood 1918 -1935 and then BOOM

      • xersnoyl

        I think they added the A because that’s the way they pronounced it. You know, follow the bouncing ball…

  • Sam

    OMG! I love this!

  • Gigi

    Holy fucking shit that was good.

  • Diogenes Arktos

    I think the funniest line was the demand for a fucking key change.

  • Steven B

    I had to throw this in somewhere. Today in Chicago we had the World Series Parade.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ebe68dcbfdea0f4212aacfac475c49932fd38007ef2f887446a9ed0bb9ce920c.jpg

  • Henri205

    “Sentient septic tank”…… Brilliant, although insulting to septic systems in general.

  • JW Swift

    “Sentient septic tank” HA! LOVE it!

  • Disqusdmnj

    Ugh… it’s “syphilis”, not “syphalis”.

    Stupid celebrities. ; )