LOONIES ON CUE: Hurricane Matthew Is The Wrath Of God Poured Out On Orlando For The Sin Of Sodomy

Kyle Mantyla reports at Right Wing Watch:

Andrew Bieszad, a contributor to Shoebat.com, the website run by anti-gay extremists Walid and Theodore Shoebat, has some thoughts about Hurricane Matthew, which is expected to strike the East Coast of the United States in the coming days: “Hurricane Matthew Is The Wrath Of God Poured Out On The Cities Of Orlando And Savannah For Supporting The Evil Sodomites.” God is sending this hurricane, Bieszad states, as “a sign of His anger” against America for tolerating homosexuality and to thwart a gay pride festival scheduled to take place in Orlando this weekend. “You want to stop not this hurricane, but future catastrophes?” he asks. “Then stop sinning, especially with sodomy.”

More from the column itself:

Florida is a nice place, but it unfortunately has become a lot like California, representing both the best and the worst that America has to offer. This is especially true in the area of homosexuality. While there are many conservative and religious Floridians, there are a tremendous amount of sodomites and immoral activity that takes place there. Given the serious moral decay of America that we see taking place before our eyes and the increasing disrespect for even the most basic of Christian morality, looking at this storm I began to wonder if perhaps, in some way, it was connected to this crisis.

The Bible clearly teaches that in the Old Testament whenever the Hebrews were very disobedient towards God, He would send punishments against them, many times in the forms of natural disasters. Christian history also recognizes the same, where God will use His creation to execute judgment against the wicked. While not all bad weather is necessarily a sign of sin, both sacred scripture and sacred tradition clearly note that it can be so. Now we know that Florida is an area that is infected with sin, especially cities such as Miami and Orlando, which are veritable dens of sodomy.

A hurricane- the storms from an evil being- named after the New Testament Evangelist whose symbol is an angel- a messenger of God and and executor of His will among and upon men- is about to make landfall on the exact area where two massive sodomite parades are taking place and almost to the day for the largest one, and the exact day the hurricane is scheduled to hit is the Feast Day of the Holiest Prayer in the Catholic Church used to fight the most wicked of sins and heresies given by the Mother of God herself.

At this writing, the hurricane is not expected to have much of an impact on Saturday’s Orlando Pride event, although the area is under a hurricane warning for today and tomorrow. And Savannah Pride is actually more than two weeks from now. Swing and a miss, White Jesus.

  • PickyPecker
    • pj

      parents should be in jail.

      • marshlc

        Yes. That kid has no protection – of course a little kid believes what mom and dad say. We’re human, that’s how we operate.

        eta – and think of the fear. I’m sure I’m not the only one raised in a religious tradition, who spent a lot of childhood fearing for my soul, for such sins as fighting with my brother, or being mad at my mom.

        • pj

          he should be playing with his friends or doing homework or reading a fucking book.

      • karmanot

        Gawd HATES uppity children

    • karmanot

      BAMMMM!

  • JT

    So much for xtianity shedding its primitive tendencies.

  • Blake Mason
    • JT

      Is that Dame Edna?

  • Skokieguy [Larry]

    “A hurricane- the storms from an evil being- named after the New
    Testament Evangelist whose symbol is an angel- a messenger of God and
    and executor of His will among and upon men”

    When the National Hurricane Center names hurricanes, they totally check the New Testament first.

    • Snarkaholic

      Well, Matthew WAS a tax collector.

    • Traxley Launderette

      Hoping that next year the National Weather Service names one Maggie.

      • Skokieguy [Larry]

        What about Hurricane Onan?

        “…Clean up efforts after the devastation left by Onan are expected to take months…”

        • grada3784

          Come again?

          • Skokieguy [Larry]

            Many neighborhoods were flooded by Onan

        • Traxley Launderette

          Me likey.

        • fritzrth

          Area hit by Onan devasted by epidemic of Hairy Palm Syndrome.

  • bkmn

    Feel that Christian love.

  • PickyPecker
    • bryan

      The one true spaghetti monster….Do not settle for impastas.

      • Gerry Fisher

        [groan] (but points for implying a Boston accent!)

    • Clive Johnson

      Thou shall not persecute in the name of the FSM.
      -Oreganoians 1:12

    • David in Tucson

      But watch out for that noodly appendage!

  • Bill Post

    Been waiting for them all morning, I can start my day now.

  • Michael R

    Oooh I hope Tony Perkins house doesn’t get destroyed again .

  • Rebecca Gardner

    Well, yes, it could be the wrath of God all pissed off because two people are in love, or, and hear me out. It could be the latent heat of condensation from water vapor combined with Coriolis force. Just sayin’

    • clay

      Tha’s jus’ crazy talk!

    • skyweaver

      Are you science trolling?

    • Harley
      • Bj Lincoln

        That’s funny!

      • rickhfx

        That’s not in the BUYBULL.

        • Nowhereman

          Yeah, but unicorns are…I guess Noah couldn’t find any of them to put on the ark. I wonder if The Ark Adventure explains that omission. I’m curious about how kangaroos got on the ark but not unicorns. It keeps me awake some nights.

          • Mihangel apYrs

            they jump better – hitched a lift as the Ark launched

      • Gerry Fisher

        One of the things that I love about this is implication that the angels crying is *natural* and a *good* thing. 🙂

    • fritzrth

      SCIENCE?! Next thing you KNOW, you’ll be talking global WARMING! Sheesh!

    • rickhfx

      But that’s not magical.

    • David Walker

      Sounds kinda far-fetched, Rebecca.

  • Rex

    And all the God-fearing Christians in the hurricane’s path, collateral damage.

    • clay

      all those Haitian, Dominicans, and Cuban? jus’ brown people who got in God’s way.

      • fritzrth

        Their god has the worst aim. Can’t punish a few gays in one city without destroying a few countries and thousands of innocent people along the way.

      • rickhfx

        Don’t they always?

        • clay

          ‘cording to some Trumpettes.

    • JT

      Their dog’s a big time douche like that.

    • PickyPecker
      • Gerry Fisher

        I didn’t realize that Satan was such a deadbeat!

        • fritzrth

          Well, sloth is one of the seven deadly sins.

    • Bj Lincoln

      It’s to test their faith as well as kill sodomites.

      • Rex

        Got to love a multi-tasking Hurricane.

        • Bj Lincoln

          I would not be sad if a religious notjob were to get killed in the sodomy ending hurricane. It would raise a few eyebrows.

      • rickhfx

        Kill two birds with one stone, I get it now.

    • rickhfx

      Fast track to heaven?

  • Lakeview Bob

    Just look at this man’s picture. He could be a poster child for mental illness.

    • SunsetGay

      My money is on pedophilia. That’s how it usually goes with these sick fucks.

    • Traxley Launderette

      Hey, but he was able to pull himself away from writing Ted Shoebat/Benham brothers erotica for a sec.

  • SunsetGay

    Keep talking. Keep it up assholes. Also don’t forget to remind voters how much you love Donald Trump and Marco Rubio.

    • bambinoitaliano

      And the foam party he will never be invited to.

  • PickyPecker
    • Nic Peterson

      Looks like an LDS Ward. Excellent choice.

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  • barracks9

    Time for the Full Montoya:

    “You keep using that word ‘sodomy’. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

  • Traxley Launderette

    Nutbar says what?

    • Chucktech

      Something about gawd and jeezis and homos and stuff…

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    Do they really think there were no Hurricanes, tornadoes, floods or droughts before this continent was settled ?? That the non-sodomizing dinosaurs lived in perfect sunny 72 degree days ?? The first EVER weather disaster was when someones weener was enjoyed by another ?

    • Stubenville

      Think? No, they don’t.

    • Hue-Man

      15,000 years ago, the prevailing weather forecast for much of North America was cold followed by bitter cold.

  • Chucktech

    “a sign of His anger” against America for tolerating homosexuality…

    So, tough shit for Haiti, the DR, and Cuba, too. Sorry guys, Gawd’s really pissed at American homos so you gotta take one for the team. And Haiti and the DR won’t mind, they hate homos, too.

    • Rebecca Gardner

      God has really shitty aim.

    • JT

      Crazy christers say all hail to the douchebag skydaddy.

    • Stubenville

      Actually it’s blended fabrics he’s pissed about.

      • MBear

        And Red Lobster

        • Rebecca Gardner

          and Tattoo Parlors.

          • grada3784

            The figs. Don’t forget the figs.

          • Bad Tom

            The fig didn’t produce on demand
            So it was damned.

          • karmanot

            Figs throw great shade

          • Jerry

            Yes…God hates figs.

        • clay

          yeah, well a stopped clock’s right twice a day on that one.

      • Chucktech

        It’s always SOMEthing with Him…

      • Rex

        Permanent Press is the work of the Devil I tell you!

      • karmanot

        And the monthly ‘misery’ don’t forget!

    • clay

      Gawd’s into collective punishment.
      And so are the Showbats.

  • Sk3ptic

    Yay! Sodomy!

    • Butch

      I had sodomite on toast one morning in Australia. Wait….what?
      And besides – he has obviously forgotten that we control the weather.

  • delk

    Nice Trump hands, pencil neck.

  • Rex

    God’s fury is strong, however, not very accurate. You’d think one very carefully placed lightening strike would do the job.

  • Pollos Hermanos
    • LackofFaithify

      So it is true…hurricanes are caused by drag queens fanning themselves. I always heard the legends and stories, but to see it happen, fantastic.

      • lymis

        I thought it was those damn butterflies in Asia that nobody seems to do anything about.

        • popebuck1

          Great minds think alike.

        • LackofFaithify
          • Hue-Man

            She’s about to demonstrate an alternative meaning of “getting head”.

          • Mrs. Councillor Nugent

            Was it good for. . .

          • Pollos Hermanos

            When they’re not dancing.

            http://i.imgur.com/xKaGc5C.jpg

          • karmanot

            Gay Mantis’s….totally cool

          • 2patricius2

            They are down on their knees praying… Didn’t Pence say he spends time on his knees every day?

          • Mihangel apYrs

            and when she’s hungry . . .

      • popebuck1

        It’s like a butterfly flapping its wings. If we could just wipe out the damn butterflies, hurricanes would disappear.

    • fritzrth

      Hey! It’s the Chick-fil-A cow flying by! Why’s God punishing them?

    • David Walker

      OMG!!!!!!!!!!1!! The cow flying by in the background reminds me of…I think maybe the second tornado in “Twister.” They’re approaching waterspouts and a cow flies by. Bill Paxton’s girlfriend, Jami Gertz, a psychiatrist, is on the back seat with a client. “Cow,” says Helen Hunt, as one flies by. Another flies by in the opposite direction. “Another cow,” says Helen. “Actually, I think it’s the same one,” Bill replies. A by-now terrified Jami says into the phone, “I gotta go. We have cows.” Jack and I found that “we have cows” line to be useful on some occasions.

      • But Bart always said, DON’T have one! Maybe he meant that one wasn’t enough, but to have cows, was implied.

  • Rex

    Probably gets a boner watching the weather forecast.

  • Hryflex

    His God doesn’t seem to have very good aim.

  • Skokieguy [Larry]

    I’ll see your “Hurricane Matthew Is The Wrath Of God Poured Out On The Cities Of Orlando And Savannah For Supporting The Evil Sodomites.”

    And raise it: God is pissed that Republicans introduced more than 200 bills at the state
    and local levels to restrict the rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in the six months prior to the Orlando massacre.

    [http://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics-government/article83571937.html]

    So Kyle, prove you’re right and I’m wrong.

    • douglas

      But White Jesus first punished Jamaica and Haiti for being such gay paradises.

  • MBear

    Oh, you dont understand weather. Thats nice, dear. Would you like a cookie?

    • Chucktech

      Or, how about a communion cracker? You people like those, don’t you?

      • MBear

        Please, can you put a little sour cream & onion on jeebus? he’s been a bit dry lately

        Or instead of body (cracker) and blood (wine), maybe they should have the pus of jeebus (hummus).

        Mmm…chipotle roasted red pepper hummus.
        Damn. I’m hungry.
        I think I’ll go make a batch.

        • greenmanTN

          I was with you until you called hummus “pus.” Could we… not? 😝

          • MBear

            Spoo of Christ?

            Or is that the mayo?

  • Mike__in_Houston

    Yawn. I can tell just by looking at the guy that he would be SO much happier if he would just let himself suck on a dick…

    • Oh, he DOES. It’s just under a bathroom partition with a whole lot of self-loathing pouring over him afterward.

      • Traxley Launderette

        He belongs to that down-low hanger club.

      • Green Arrow

        Church van parked outside. Glory! (hole)

  • Ernest Endevor

    So Tony Perkins is gay and God destroyed his house? Is that how this works?

    • grada3784

      Tony was just being tested.

      Christians™ get tested; we get punished.

    • Herald

      And here I thought the LA flood was a judgment on all their hate.

    • lymis

      Haven’t been keeping up, or new at this? (I’ve been following this crap for nearly 40 years now. Sigh.)

      When the theologically or politically unpopular are hit, it’s God’s wrath for doing the evil.

      When the theologically or politically popular are hit, it’s God’s punishment for them not doing enough to STOP the people who were doing the evil.

      Circular reasoning, for sure, but now it’s imprinted into their very bones.

      • madknits

        OR, in Antoinette’s case, God is testing his faith.
        The can spin better than any top.

    • Green Arrow
    • He has to be. No one is more virulently anti-gay than the “religious” ones who are trying, often unsuccessfully, to suppress their personal same-sex-attracting natures, so they turn to this hatred as a source of strength to fuel their own self-suppression.

      Add to that the fact that people like Perkins and this terribly sad Andrew are genuinely jealous of well-adjusted and happy gay people trying to live their ordinary fabulous lives.

  • JaniceInToronto

    God has terrible aim.

    • grada3784

      So would you, if your glasses were 6000 years old.

      • Stubenville

        Or bifocals.

        • madknits

          God uses quadfocals, but they’re arranged vertically. Which may be why his aim sucks.

  • ByronK

    Lying makes Baby Jesus cry Kyle.

    The English word ‘hurricane’ came from the Spanish explorers who carved up the New World for themselves in the 16th and 17th centuries.

    However, the Spanish word it is derived from ‘huracan’ is not of European origin.

    Spaniard explorers in the Caribbean picked up the word from Taino, a language spoken by the Arawak, the indigenous people of the region.

    Reportedly, ‘huracan’ was the Taino word for ‘storm.’

    Strangely, when the Portuguese adopted the word, the ‘h’ was metamorphosed into an ‘f’ – hence the word ‘furacão’ in the Portuguese language.

    • Snarkaholic

      Yes…before Chris Columbus & Friends wiped out the entire Taino tribe.

  • camel54

    So what mortal sin is Haiti guilty of? Or does White Jesus confine his areas of interest to the US alone? This man is an idiot.

    • clay

      Christian America is God’s new chosen people.
      Just ask David whats-his-face.

      • David L. Caster

        David Duke, fraud historian.

    • lymis

      AIDS. Remember, Haiti was one of the epicenters. Since AiDS was entirely about God’s wrath, they were obviously guilty of SOMETHING.

      I wish it was harder to make this shit up.

    • rusty57

      Well, I’m going with the Haitian Revolution of 1791.
      I’m pretty sure that pissed White Jesus off something awful.

  • Blake J Butler
  • Rex

    If hurricane Matthew is God’s wrath for sodomy, what is the Trump candidacy punishment for?

    • clay

      keeping the inheritance tax too low?

    • Bad Tom

      “…what is the Trump candidacy punishment for?”

      Allowing Trump to become a candidate.

  • Robert Stultz

    Damn it! Did I leave the weather machine on again? Silly me.

    • MBear

      Yes. Pls close your legs. 😉

  • Blake Jordan

    if I ever meet your god, unlikely since he does not exist, I will beat the shit out of him for all the horror he has caused!!!

    • PeterC

      I do not think it was “their god” that caused all the horror; it was the people who want to shunt their evil actions onto some one (thing) that can not defend itself. Truly deplorable,

  • MB

    Thanks, Obama.

  • Texndoc
  • bambinoitaliano

    Or God’s punishment on Trump transgression of hiring illegals on his Mara-Lago resort, bribing Pam Bondi, creating scam university or punishment of the basket of deplorable that supported Trump or hurling misogynistic rant on Rosie O Donnell, so many reasons to pick on. Or perhaps the vegeanceful god still not letting go how SCOTUS stole Al Gore presidency and hand it over to Dubya.

    • Traxley Launderette

      Ooh, I never thought of that!

      Karma ain’t playing around. She’s taken off her earrings.

  • Skokieguy [Larry]
    • Skokieguy [Larry]

      Apparently everyone’s “prayer & support” didn’t do much, huh?

      • Chucktech

        Actually, are these the assholes who cleaned up on a money beg after they were fined by Oregon and raised $600k? Yeah, I might close down my bakery, too.

        • Skokieguy [Larry]

          And have a huge business loss to make sure they pay no taxes on all the money the gullible gave them.

          • fritzrth

            See, someone learned something from Trump University.

        • DaveW

          600k won’t last very long. They were young and fat.

          • charemor

            But too stupid to realize that it won’t last forever.

      • Rebecca Gardner
        • skyweaver

          You’re only really helping if you TELL everyone you’re praying, though

        • madknits

          The woman who taught me how to knit became a virulent Christian, and stopped speaking to me, because of, you know, the ghey. When she told me she would pray for me, my response was, “Two hands working will accomplish so much more than a million hands clasped in prayer.”

          • Rebecca Gardner

            I’m stealing that. Love it!

          • madknits

            What’s mine is yours. Use it with devastating results.

      • charemor

        “prayer & support” didn’t help, but all of these dollars from Go Fund Me made it no longer necessary for them to work.

        • Skokieguy [Larry]

          Hi C.

          Hate is a well paying avocation. Look how many do it.

  • So Andrew…by this same “reasoning” (and I use that term VERY loosely), Tony Perkkkins’ home was destroyed by the same manner because of the sin of sodomy?

    I’m waiting for your response…

  • bambinoitaliano
    • Texndoc

      To this day I think I was the only one in the theater “Team Ratched”.

      • TuuxKabin

        I was on board team RatShed too, anything to shut up Jack Nicholson.

  • Patrick

    Babe it is going to Hit West Palm Beach not Orlando, pick up a Geography book once in awhile.

    • clay

      Haven’t you heard? Those who study geography are more likely to get into wars.

      • LackofFaithify

        I know where you keep your oil and I’m coming to take it!

  • Andy McFerrin

    Sooooo…Haiti just got leveled by Orlando’s punishment, then. So not only is god a stone cold asshole, he’s also got piss-poor aim. Which, given the number of his followers who believe they were made in his image, explains a hell of a lot…

  • “Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives; but none about his or her own.” – Paulo Coelho

  • wds
  • Rebecca Gardner

    OT but here’s today’s daily Trump scandal. Why did this asshole run for President with a million skeletons in his closet? Oh, right, YUUUUUGE Ego. Of course his deplorables will support him and say how genius he is while saying how corrupt the Clinton Foundation is for actually helping people.

    BREAKING: Trump Exposed Funneling Foundation Money DIRECTLY To Presidential Campaign
    http://bipartisanreport.com/2016/10/05/breaking-trump-exposed-funneling-foundation-money-directly-to-presidential-campaign/

  • Richard B

    These Shoebat.com guys are all self serving loony grifters – the worrisome thing is there are many empty minded low information folks that get caught up in what these nuts say.

  • lymis

    You know, he has a very good point. it’s not like Florida has ever been hit by a hurricane before.

    • Bad Tom

      Hurricanes didn’t exist before Stonewall.
      Everybody knows that!

  • fastlanestranger

    God couldn’t find where the gays were hiding out until the Orlando shooter pointer them out to him.

  • Bj Lincoln

    Straight people commit sodomy too! Maybe the belief this is ‘god’ punishing someone is correct. It is going to hit one the day of the catholic Feast Day of the Holiest Prayer. Not before or after on the day of Pride.
    Back when religion was used to explain things humans could not understand, It made sense to think god had something to do with weather. We have grown and science has shown us how weather really works and god has nothing to do with it. The problem is religion never caught up and now we still have humans believing god uses weather to punish us for our ‘sins’. It just makes these backward humans seem foolish and stupid which they are.

    • Friday

      There’s apparently no such feast day, actually.

      • BudClark

        It’s a conservative Catholic name for the Feast of the Holy Rosary, which was originally “The Feast of Our Lady of Victories.” Some pope or other kept the Turks out of Vienna by praying the Rosary (or so it has been said).

        • Friday

          Ah. Guess they have their thing.

  • Gaiboi66

    Rrrrrrrriiight…because of course Florida has never seen a hurricane before marriage-equality was the law of the land! *smh*

  • BobSF_94117

    “You want to stop not this hurricane, but future catastrophes?” he asks. “Then stop sinning, especially with sodomy.”

    God, like a lot of guys, gets really worked up about sodomy…

    • Bj Lincoln

      Straight guys and gals too! Funny how the RWNJ forget that straight people engage in sodomy all over the country every day.

  • PLAINTOM

    Why do I always picture their God in a wife beater t-shirt ?

  • “Feast Day of the Holiest Prayer”

    Curious, that. Did a googlies on that specific phrase and the only place it shows up in all the billions and billions of interwebs is right here on JMG and over on RightWingWatch, ConservativeAngle, DCWatchDog, and originally over there on Shoebatshit’s website.

    Another lie for White Jesus. Sad bullshit.

    EDIT: But extra points for “Dens of Sodomy” — sounds like an accordion/bagpipe band.

  • Phaius

    How odd that God waited until Hurricane season to send a hurricane as punishment. Clearly, this god is a lazy slacker.

    • Harley

      Yea. Give me lightning on a clear day or God doesn’t exist.

      • i’m waiting for that miracle where an amputee suddenly wakes up with a new limb, having prayed for one the night before. that’ll convince me “He is real.”

  • popebuck1

    Its amazing how God’s wrath unleashes itself every year during the same season and under remarkably similar atmospheric conditions.

    • Bad Tom

      And tends to include a whole lotta collateral damage.
      ——-
      Such as the entire East Coast of the USA.

  • dcurlee

    I was wondering who was sucking Shoebat. Now I know Then they flog each other in self hatred and beg forgiveness till the next time

    • fritzrth

      The flogging and self-hatred is foreplay.

  • BobSF_94117

    I’m thinking Shoebat Jr. has that ponytail wrapped around his fist on a pretty regular basis. From behind…

  • skyweaver

    Do we have to always go down this road? Why is it never that God is smiting the assholes that are being cruel to gays? Or shooting doctors who operate abortion clinics? Or killing people of color who happen to be existing?

  • Matt

    No, dipshit. It’s actually just a hurricane.

  • JT

    “You want to stop not this hurricane, but future catastrophes?” he asks. “Then stop sinning, especially with sodomy.”

    Funny how the reverse doesn’t work in the Sahara.

  • Lazycrockett

    Get a haircut you hippie.

  • Captain Obvious

    If everyone failed to sin, then Jesus died in vain.

  • i guess i’d have to go to a church or something like, but there are days when i want to meet this kind of freak in person, just to get a face to face impression of what they really are. i’ve met plenty of closet cases and self-haters, and that’s what i always think of when i read about nutbags like this.

    i know a lot of what they say and do is about the grift, and convincing bluehairs and religious idiots to send a check. but of all the cons a person can choose, this one is a slowly and not so slowly dying one. if your calling in life is to con, there are better ones.

    basically i wonder if a lot of them are medically insane. cause it seems like it.

    • IamM

      Right. It’s the kind of thing, ‘What is your major malfunction?!’ was coined for.

      I don’t understand how someone can be that completely wrong on every level and still manage to dress themself.

  • Barry William Teske

    Oh look! A true believer resorts to terrorist like activity and dogma to further his own internal HATE of another…
    How much do hardworking tax payers exempt this guy for exactly?

  • Phil in FLL

    Dear Jeebus-worship fools,

    Hurricane Matthew will come nowhere near Orlando. It is headed directly for the Carolinas, which are considerably more Christian than the United States as a whole.

    • Captain Obvious

      I hope God doesn’t own a gun, because He consistently has really shitty aim.

      • Hue-Man

        Just like most gun owners.

    • Bj Lincoln

      While I hope no one gets hurt or dies, I do wish Matthew hits NC hard and they suffer from lack of disaster funds. Frankly the people of NC need to get the point that hate does not pay and they stop electing GOP nutjobs to all offices.

      • Oh’behr

        … or have GOP legislators gerrymandering the hell out of everything in NC.

    • William

      It needs to take a turn through Virginia Beach, and knock out Pat Robertson’s transmitters.

      • fritzrth

        It’s happened before. When Robertson predicted a hurricane would destroy Florida for allowing gay pride celebrations.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    And here I keep thinking this Hurricane is just another in a series that happen every year around the same time. Who knew it was really Pasty White Jeebus being pissy because he wasn’t invited to Pride?

  • Max_1
    • Megrim Twist

      Reminds me of Michelle Bachmann.

  • Chrissy

    Of course the website Shoebat doesn’t allow open comments, but makes sure they only approve comments that agree with their viewpoint.

  • Secure

    Oh okay. Well God OBLITERATED Tony Perkins house because He hates Tony so much.

    • greenmanTN

      And then he compared himself to Job, when I’m pretty sure the whole point of the Biblical Job story was that he wasn’t a whiny little bitch about it when his McMansion flooded.

  • dcurlee

    Well based on what he had to state. Tony Perkins must have been lubed up all the time with his sling ready for action

    • PLAINTOM

      Brainbleach STAT

      • dcurlee

        Matt Barber had a few sleep overs haha

  • greenmanTN

    If we really can control the weather we REALLY have to get better with our aim. A little mini-tornado and we could put that little ponytail wearing bitch right THROUGH that wall!

  • moebym

    Judging by this, one doesn’t need an active imagination to figure out what he thought of the Orlando mass shooting. 🙁

    OT, but I shook Elizabeth Warren’s and Catherine Cortez Masto’s hands yesterday! And I was so gobsmacked at having met them that I said something to the latter that in retrospect was kind of stupid. Thankfully, she likely won’t remember me out of the dozens of attendees she had met.

    • TuuxKabin

      I N V U. I remember shaking Ted Kennedy’s hand in Northern California as he rode thru on the campaign train. Was a thrill!

      • moebym

        Whoa, Ted Kennedy? I came pretty close to shaking his hand once, as he stood mere feet away getting interviewed by the press (forget the occasion). My mom actually got to shake Jimmy Carter’s hand, and I was green with envy!

  • Another sign that the solipsistic Dreaming God has a wicked sense of humor.

    The idjit’s name is a SIGN!

    Andrew Bieszad – and after Orlando is not destroyed, Andrew Be VERY Sad indeed!

  • Elaygee

    and just for the hell of it, Jesus, if he actually existed, was a short dark, over the age of 30 unmarried Jew.

  • SammySeattle

    His god throws like a girl.

  • JR

    Looks like Matthew is forecast to miss Key West, which is gayer than Orlando and Savannah combined. So your theory is bullshit. Why would God get so close and then clutch?

  • Thorn Spike

    I agree with him about “…the serious moral decay of America that we see taking place before our eyes and the increasing disrespect for even the most basic of Christian morality…” It’s seen mostly in “Christians” of his ilk.

  • TexasBoy

    No one has said it better than Susan B. Anthony in 1896, “I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do to their fellows, because it always coincides with their own desires.” It seems nothing has changed in the last 120 years.

    • George Waite

      From a woman who helped make Prohibition possible…..

  • lattebud

    Gosh then god must love fetish play since it was about 80 degrees for the Folsom Street Fair this year

  • Sashineb

    Is Tony Perkins visiting Florida this week??

  • Oh’behr

    Hey Matthew, aim for George Zimmerman’s location and drop something extra heavy on top of him, thank you. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dcc5296d3e53c3b590a545d6f57d8b92e23f3e50c709de28617b51c079a9175a.jpg

  • LovesIrony

    it’s a beautiful day here in my den of sodomy

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      . . . then turn right on Maple Avenue. My house is the third den of sodomy on the left, with the garden gnome and pink flamingos out front.

  • Friday

    So, he thinks his God is pissed at gay people like the homophobic terrorist mass shooter was, but not pissed about a hompophobic terrorist’s mass-murdering?

  • Charlie

    “when you believe in things that you don’t understand, then you suffer – superstition ain’t the way” – Stevie Wonder

  • rusty57

    So Andrew Bieszad is the guy Ted Shoebat practices sodomy with? They’re kind of a cute couple. Damn shame instead of being happy about it they share a sense of shame and self loathing. Must make for a difficult cuddling afterwards.

  • Porkie

    But NOT Key West?

  • Cuberly

    “…I began to wonder if perhaps, in some way,…”

    You don’t say!

    Is it sodomy when you ass-spelunk for a fantasy-opinion?

  • Mr. M

    No offense Joe, but you give them unnecessary publicity. Really, who actually reads that site except extremists? I’ve never heard of them until now.

  • Lee Grupsmith-Pedersen
    • 2patricius2

      Ah, yes. The rest of the verse, after the part about having wealth, food in plenty, comfort and ease is this: “and yet she never helped the poor and wretched.”

      Sounds like the modern day Republican Party.

    • motordog

      What? Sodomy is actually being lazy and eating too many carbs? Huh…I guess I’m STILL a sodomite, then.

  • 2patricius2

    Ho hum. So Matthew the hurricane is being sent to punish “sodomites.” That doesn’t explain why Tony Perkins’ house was flooded in the floods in Louisiana.

    • TuuxKabin

      Maybe it does.

  • Gaymurcan

    Xian H8ers, Inc. send their prayer witches to West Africa with Japanese fans and tell them to “flap toward America.” And that’s how Atlantic hurricanes are born-again.

  • marshlc

    I’m sure it’s a flaw in my character that has me more annoyed by the errors in English than the errors in thought or humanity.

  • KQCA

    My god the stupidity and ignorance are inconceivable. This is the 21st century for christ’s sake. We know how weather works now. We no longer rely on imaginative myths to explain it all.

  • J Ascher

    This guy probably knows a lot about being long-winded!

    • motordog

      …and apparently a LOT about the frequency and varieties of butt-sex going on in the Orlando area! I wonder how he collected his raw data?

      • trouble94114

        taste tests maybe?

  • Mike P

    Why do so many of these religio-nuts look gay as a Hello Kitty princess phone? God knows where those lips have been.

  • Joe in PA

    When I first glanced at this post, I didn’t see Kyle Mantyla, I saw Kalley Yanta. Of Minnesota Marriage Minute fame. Ahhh, good times.

  • I would think that if god really wanted to punish Orlando, it wouldn’t have sent a storm that is likely to dump a bunch a rain on it and not much else.

  • William

    I say the hurricane is God’s wrath for Pam Bondi accepting a bribe from Trump.
    Prove me wrong.

  • BlueberriesForMe

    “…there are a tremendous amount of sodomites and immoral activity that takes place there.”

    I believe that’s true in EVERY state, fuck-brain.

  • Rex

    With all that sodomy, no wonder Orlando’s the happiest place on earth.

  • Rex

    Orlando gets a hurricane, Cleveland got the RNC, unfair.

  • The imaginary god these people have invented and worship is clearly a reflection of their own uncivilized, psychopathic savagery and bloodthirsty impulses to mass murder.

    One of their favorite slams against Islam is the claim that at least here LGBT people aren’t thrown off high buildings, and for that we’re supposed to be both thankful and support anti-LGBT candidates for office. Plain fact is these ones here obviously want the same results — gay people suffering and eventually dead. They disagree only on the precise methods to be used.

    • IamM

      Not so much disagreeing about the methods as arguing over who gets credit.

  • J Ascher

    What is it with this god of theirs and butt-play? He seems to get all buggered about it!

  • Strange. It’s lovely here in San Francisco today. Though we do get earthquakes. Though not as many as Oklahoma.

    • George Waite

      And P-Town and Ogunquit haven’t had serious weather problems in a long time…..

  • Dagoril

    Imagine the bizarre life of the person who denies that weather is caused by areas of different temperatures and air pressures…and other sciencey things like that…and instead reaches for evil spirits as the cause instead.

  • Gerry Fisher

    >The Bible clearly teaches that…

    Stop right there! There’s *nothing* clear about the bible, its translations, its attempt to teach across culture, the books added and subtracted over the years, its wild contradictions, its factual inaccuracies, or it’s support of things like slavery and death and giving away daughters for various reasons.

    • motordog

      On the plus side, it DOES confirm the existence of unicorns!

  • Kevin Perez

    Worry not people! I’ve already steered hurricane Matthew away from land by using the secret bible spell in Matthew 21:22. It totally worked.

  • Clive Johnson

    The god of Christianity: “I could spell out ‘sodomy is a sin’ in cloud letters all around the globe, so that everyone could see it and know at last that I am real and mean business. But, for some reason I think another random slaughter is in order. I guess I’m just feeling especially holy today or something.”

  • motordog

    Get me this byotch’s coordinates! I feel like dropping some hail and sleet on his ass… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9e361952f5601103749641bbf796c5d44da7620dcb2d55ba9b608a06857beb97.gif

    • Itsatarp

      But just saying it could even make it happen.

  • Friday

    Meanwhile, Joseph Farah offers acceptable terms: (Not much of an article, really, but hey, just random Christian misogyny. To go with them using even the *weather* to hatemonger about.)

    http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/joseph-farah-electing-witch-hillary-clinton-will-shorten-my-life

    • greenmanTN

      I wouldn’t say that shortening Joseph Farah’s life is my top reason for voting for Hillary but it’s definitely on the list.

      • Friday

        Well, as long as it’s his idea. 🙂

  • karmanot

    Yawn…….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  • Itsatarp

    1 – Orlando is in the center of the state and in all likelihood will suffer little damage from this storm which is hugging the coast 50 miles away.
    2- Matthew did hit Haiti, a country with an abysmal record for LGBT rights. So either God loves his gays, or he has terrible aim.

    • Mikey

      Lousy aim: he throws like a (gar)goyle.

      • Itsatarp

        God has horrible aim. He was over here one night drinking. You should see the mess he made in my bathroom. Gross.

        • Mikey

          I was laughing so much at that I had trouble controlling my mouse to up-vote you.

          • Itsatarp

            I’m here all weeks, folks. Try the veal.

  • Spongebob CrankyPants

    Moral decay of America. LOL. When exactly was America moral?

  • So when they want the storms to be evidence of Gods judgment they are, and when they do not then they aren’t. quite convenient how that works isn’t it? Of course they never predict the time and place of when these things will happen no, instead they just take events and assign a meaning to them. It has zero credibility but hey, when has that ever stopped them.

  • Hank
  • David Walker

    I have to say Andrew is kind of cute…in a semi-hippie White Jeebussy way.

  • BudClark

    He looks like a starving, desperate bottom .

  • IamM

    There’s a theory that the Florida peninsula is a very low and flat bit of land sticking out into a tropical ocean where the trade winds have been sending half the hurricanes in the Atlantic for millions of years. But whatever.

  • Robert Conner

    Bieszad’s hair looks like God’s wrath and I’m if that scraggly pre-adolescent goatee he’s sporting is really ‘prison pussy.’

  • Nowhereman

    Gawd these people are so willfully ignorant. Sodomy had nothing to do with butt sex. It had everything to do with sodomites being rude to people who were not like them.

  • ChrisMorley

    These loonies really do need to get their story straight. Hurricane Matthew is expected to hit Florida from Wednesday through Thursday onwards.
    I confess I was raised to be a good catholic boy (I even went to a junior seminary for deluded lads who bought into the idea of becoming a priest, but I’m a completely recovered bad boy now), yet loony Shoebat hoe Andrew Bieszad had me completely mystified by his word salad:
    the exact day the hurricane is scheduled to hit is the Feast Day of the Holiest Prayer in the Catholic Church used to fight the most wicked of sins and
    heresies given by the Mother of God herself”.
    Turns out he’s referring to Friday October 7 (so his hurricane is arriving exactly a day late), missing the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary.

  • Rod Steely

    I love this idea that God sends giant hurricanes to smite people but gets a lot of other people in the process. They should look into the science of what causes hurricanes. Speaking of science- how is it that a doctor can operate with surgical precision to remove a tumor – then God gets the credit for healing the patient. But this same God has no presiscion when he strike his targets so he hits EVERYBODY! This makes me laugh.

  • teedofftaxpayer

    Gee what else is news? We’re blamed for every disaster ever happened. Did they ever think their BS might be the reason? Are face reality and realize that Mother Nature is just pizzed off at the way we treat the world.

    • CatCope

      Right on!! Humans (black, white,orange,rich,poor,) are responsible for what’s happening around the globe. Whether it be climate change, wars, mistreatment/killing of animals, & killing people for just being themselves.
      If I was “gawd” I would be pissed, too.

  • The Milkman

    Because the piled up bloody lifeless bodies of innocent people, both gay and straight, wasn’t enough. We also need to have a big hurricaine.

    Kyle, your cruel little god is unworthy of my attention, let alone my praise.

  • TheManicMechanic

    Once again I have turned off my gaydar, set all the gain controls to zero, disconnected the antenna and put the whole thing in its Pelican flight case before leaving it in the garage, and I can still hear it from where I sit when I look at this kook.

  • wds
  • Michael

    More likely it’s God’s punishment for Pam Bondi not investigating Trump U.

  • Franciscan

    Hmm, anyone seen those pillars of salt down in Shoebatistan?

  • David in Tucson

    Funny thing, though; God always seems to have really, really bad aim. Sort of like using a hydrogen bomb to kill a termite.

  • Moonbat says what?

  • Mike in Houston

    And we’re having the annual Out & Equal Summit here at Walt Disney World this week with some 4000+ LGBT advocates from around the country… and no, not cancelling.

  • mikeinrkfd

    Hey why does Orlando get all the credit? What about us in South Florida?

  • GanymedeRenard

    Funny how no mention of sympathy for the victims of the Pulse massacre is made by this heartless loonie.

  • kareemachan

    EVERYBODY PAY UP! I said this a couple of days ago.

  • SilasMarner

    I wonder how many dicks this fool has sucked?

  • Which, surprise surprise, kills ten times more god-fearing heterosexuals than it does homosexuals.

  • DaveMiller135

    This is hardly the house by house accuracy of Old Testament God’s Wrath. Maybe we should take his keys away.

  • Scott Amundsen
  • douglas

    But first White Jesus punished Jamaica and Haiti for being such fine examples of how the gays seized control and instituted their will upon the god fearing populace. Hope he saved enough for America.

  • JBBelgium

    Bigots should mind their own trousers! Isn’t it always the same with religion? How sex-obessed are all these religious fossils?

  • Gates Ortt

    I don’t believe that people who say things iike this are serious. I think they just want to get their name in the news or have people send them money like all the televangelists. No sane person could believe this shit, most insane people wouldn’t even believe it.

  • JCF
  • andrew

    The God these fundamentalist Christians believe in has always been such an incompetent God. Whether in Old Testament myths or in the minds of deluded fundamentalist Christians, their God brings pain, suffering and death to all, whether they be innocent or guilty of some supposed “sin.”

  • BudClark

    He MIGHT be cute with his clothes off … and, like MOST anti-gay fanatics, I bet he has a TIGHT, STARVING asshole