UTAH: Anti-Gay Troll Sues To Marry His Laptop, State Tells Him To Get Lost Because Gay Marriage Is Legal

Remember the nutcase who sued Apple in 2013 because his computer didn’t block him from accessing the porn which ruined his marriage? And then in 2014 when he attempted to intervene in one of Florida’s same-sex marriage cases so that he could marry that porn-filled laptop? And then in April of this year when he tried the same thing in Texas? And then last month when he sued the governor of Kentucky and Kim Davis for the same reason, earning the wrath of the Liberty Counsel? That nutcase is trying yet again in Utah.

Ben Winslow reports for Salt Lake City’s Fox affiliate:

The state of Utah is asking a federal judge to dismiss a lawsuit filed by a man who is seeking the right to marry his computer.

In an apparent protest over same-sex marriage, Chris Sevier filed a lawsuit against the Utah County Clerk, Governor Gary Herbert and Utah Attorney General Sean Reyes for not granting him a license to marry his laptop. News reports show Sevier, a disbarred attorney, has tried similar lawsuits in other states. (Sevier also tried to intervene in Utah’s defense of a lawsuit filed over same-sex marriage here.)

In response to the lawsuit on Friday, the state of Utah asked the judge to dismiss the lawsuit outright. The Utah Attorney General’s Office gave a long list of reasons why the lawsuit lacks any merit — including that computers cannot consent to marriage.

Ironically, the state of Utah, which fought same-sex marriage for years in the courts, found itself in the position of defending it in the filing.

  • Rebecca Gardner

    Because we all know a laptop can give consent.

    Fucking douche canoe.

    • Reality.Bites

      Even if we decided they were sentient there are still no (or almost no) laptops in use that are above the age of consent for marriage.

      At least there’s the occasional dog, cat or horse that’s 18 or more.

    • zhera

      “The computer says no.”

      • clay

        Thank you, Carol Beer.

    • Scott

      When the laptop, of its own accord, can sign the legal document then you can marry it. Until then shut your pie hole.

  • Michael Rush
    • Rebecca Gardner

      How dare you insult Stuart like that!!!
      https://youtu.be/NY1l25OiLBM

      • Ginger Snap

        Stewart my all-time favorite TV character “look what I can do” is still a well used line by me.

        • Ragnar Lothbrok

          LOL we say that to each other ALL THE time !!

  • bkmn

    Someone needs to get laid.

    • Sporkfighter

      …but nobody deserves servicing this douche.

    • Cackalaquiano

      That, I’m convinced, would solve most of these people’s issues.

  • bambinoitaliano

    I’m also forming laptop united against sex slavery and filing civil lawsuit on its behalf against Chris Servier for a trillion dollars. I also ask the court immediately issue restraining order for Mr. Servier from within 500 yards of any laptops and desktop computers.

  • Elsewhere1010

    Interview the laptop. If it has not become sentient, case closed.

    If if has become sentient it will beg to get as far away from this deluded idiot as quickly as possible. Again, case closed.

    Win-win, right?

    • Todd Allis

      Is it sentient? Fully functional? Versed in multiple techniques?
      I thought not.

  • Lakeview Bob

    Isn’t this guy on tRUMP’s staff? He fits the profile.

  • Bill T.

    His laptop keeps recognizing his dick as malicious malware.

    • Gustav2

      It does fit the USB port.

    • Steve Stallone

      Or malicious software.

  • Randy503

    Disbarred attorney? Gee I wonder why…..

    • D. J.

      One down…..

  • JT
  • delk

    Thought Dahmer was dead.

  • Halou

    So does he intend to plug himself into the laptop, or the other way around?

    • Jean-Marc in Canada

      Oh, something tells me he’s not only a bottom (not an insult) but a piggy bottom at that.

  • Sam_Handwich
  • MB

    O/T: North Dakota Judge blocks voter ID law. A group of American Indians alleged the laws “disproportionately burden and disenfranchise Native Americans.”

    U.S. District Judge Daniel Hovland issued a temporary restraining order, ruling that the state’s “ill-advised” repeal of “fail-safe” provisions in 2013 resulted in an undue burden on Native Americans trying to vote.

    North Dakota is the only state without voter registration, but state law has required voters to provide ID since 2004. Before that, casting a ballot was an informal process in most precincts, and identification cards were seldom requested.

    http://www.denverpost.com/2016/08/01/voter-id-law-north-dakota/

    • Reality.Bites

      May we have more and more O/T posts like this.

      • MB

        Why is it ALWAYS “white-Jesus” people trying to disenfranchise the constitutional voting rights of everyone that is NOT white ?????

        • PLAINTOM

          Because the god they have created is an asshat.

        • SoCalGal20

          It’s REPUBLICAN white Jesus people. And they don’t want anybody else to vote because they’re more likely to be Democrats. (I know your question was probably rhetorical but I couldn’t help answering).

        • fuzzybits
          • Scott

            And murdered, raped, pillaged, enslaved, etc. all of the people that were the rightful residents of this country. We are the real illegal immigrants.

          • fuzzybits

            Yep.you said it.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    If he wasn’t such a complete idiot and devoid of any concept of reality, he’d be quite doable, I mean, he’s not entire repulsive physically. Yeah, went there….why not, I’m bored and hubby’s cooking dinner LOL

    • shellback

      Is he some sort of space cadet?

      • Jean-Marc in Canada

        Totally, but like I said, he’s not physically repulsive….but yeah, he’s a complete loon. Shame really, he could have a nice life with some nice young fella. He’s loss I suppose…..then again, perhaps Peter Theil and he could get together; birds of a feather and all that.

    • Cackalaquiano

      How did you train your hubby to cook dinner? Mine can barely microwave a frozen dinner.

      • Jean-Marc in Canada

        Actually, we met in Europe a few years back at the Cordon Bleu. No, we’re not Cordon Bleu chef’s, but we were both taking classes offered to the public. We both love cooking and it was his turn. Tonight’s menu is Braised Chicken in Cognac with asparagus stuffed pastry in white wine sauce, not as hard as it sounds. Yum. I made desert, my specialty, Amaretto Cream Cheesecake….he LOVES cheesecake.

        • fuzzybits

          Fancy eatins!

          • Jean-Marc in Canada

            Indeed. We both love cooking, for us it’s quite zen. We also really enjoy hosting, something our friends are keenly aware of, LOL.

            We’ve started doing Cocktail/Dinner parties, old school. Gentlemen in suits, Ladies in dresses. Some light Jazz, good conversation and great food. We do it at the last Friday of each month. Cheesy I know, but we enjoy the idea of dressing to nines and having a proper soiree.

        • jsmukg

          Jean-Marc, I make a lot of fancy desserts 🙂 and one of my big hits is a divine Maida Heatter (the best dessert chef ever but not so well known now; the NYT called her ‘the empress of eclairs, the sultana of sweets, the doyenne of desserts’…!) thing…..an Amaretto-Amaretti Chocolate Cheesecake. The crust is pulverized Amaretttini di Saronno and then the cake has Amaretto di Saronno as well…I think you two would love it.

          • Jean-Marc in Canada

            Mmmmmmm

    • Bruno

      Has a little bit of the Joaquin Phoenix about him. But the hair runez it.

  • Sam_Handwich
    • Sam_Handwich
      • Bruno

        Nice! We’re having a pretty good day so far all around.

      • I like the cut of this unelected activist judge’s tyrannical black robe.

        • Sam_Handwich

          Carlton Reeves. his previous ruling was equally scathing.

          Obama nominee….first AA to serve on MS Supreme Court….second AA federal district judge in MS

          http://media.npr.org/assets/img/2015/02/13/reeves-f610c40457f259110600b974ae67c43aa313beb8-s300-c85.jpg

          • Oikos

            SCOTUS nominee

          • abel

            Let’s hope!

          • Balderdashing

            Oh, but there’s so much important work to be done in Mississippi! What a quandary.

          • patriciashunter

            <<ls. ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!ir310m:….,…,.

          • Scott

            We need judges like this on the state level. While I agree he would be great for SCOTUS, he is needed right where he is at more.

          • SoCalGal20

            Hillary needs to think about giving this man a promotion.

      • MB
      • Rebecca Gardner

        Couldn’t he just write unique. They always gotta throw in Latin somewhere.

        • Cackalaquiano

          I had no idea what that meant. But I’m a product of rural Southern schools. We certainly didn’t study Latin.

        • Johnny Wyeknot

          I agree. Good providers of legal services, including judges, write in plain language. In this case, plain English.

        • JTC

          The only reason I know this phrase is because my silver fox history professor used it to describe the Maus graphic novels. Judges and professors with their highfalutin’ vocabulary.

          • Rebecca Gardner

            I only know it because I work at a law firm and pick up some lingo here and there.

          • The only thing I learned from working for lawyers was that billing hours are often bullshit and how to be mad but still articulate at the same time. The latter skill has come in handy many times in my life. The former would land me in jail if *I* did it.

        • Nelson Kerr

          Because the legal meaning and unique are subtly different.

      • PLAINTOM

        Memo to Alito : This one’s for you.

      • Blake J Butler

        Boom Phil!

    • MB
    • Goodboy
  • Michael Rush
    • Jean-Marc in Canada

      When I heard him talk, my mind immediately screamed “GUUUUUURRRRLLLL”

    • JT

      That photo of him drenched in blood is creepy.

  • Fucking attention whore idiot.

  • PLAINTOM

    Nuisance suit, fine this stupid SOB.

  • zhera

    Would somebody please do this guy a favor and lock him the fuck up already?

  • Ninja0980

    Fine this SOB already.

  • Johnny Wyeknot

    According to my gaydar, he’s a closet case. Naturally.

    • Jean-Marc in Canada

      All I can say is, when the time comes, stand far away from said closet, because those hinges will fly.

      • Johnny Wyeknot

        And it looks like he’s packing–something.

        • Karl Dubhe

          Yes, a sock.

        • Balderdashing

          Probably an iPhone he’s been having it off with behind his laptop’s back.

        • Rambie

          Yes, he’s wearing Jesus-jammies, errr, I mean Mormon Garments.

    • (((GC)))

      I prefer the wishful thinking when we speculate about the decent and inspiring people who aren’t homophobic assholes….

    • Gay Fordham Prep Grad

      He’s way more straight in this one…

      • OdieDenCo

        I hear hair fuhrer lost one of his youths. he should check in at the next drumph contact point.

    • james_from_cambridge

      He’s a failed model, like Melania, only she had the brains to marry a rich sugar daddy while this douche has burned all his bridges with rich sugar daddies. Too bad…he looks like David Geffen’s type.

      Also, if it wasn’t obvious enough, he’s mentally ill.
      _______________________________________

      http://tasteofcountry.com/files/2013/06/Chris-Sevier-Photo1.jpg

      “Sevier lost his law license in 2011 after the Tennessee Supreme Court ruled he can’t practice due to reasons of mental illness. New reports reveal his disability is related to Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome from his time serving in Iraq.

      Read More: Man Accused of Stalking John Rich Says He’s Eager for His Day in Court [NSFW] | http://tasteofcountry.com/john-rich-stalker-naked-blood-photo/?trackback=tsmclip

  • Sporkfighter

    How does anyone this stupid chew food, breathe, or shit?

  • Michael Smith

    Can Utah bill him for wasting the court’s time?

  • Philly Mike

    I have a live 208 volt electrical outet he can screw, I hope he accepts my offer.

  • greenmanTN

    Like it’s OUR fault your penis fits in a headphone jack?!

  • AtticusP

    Even Siri says this guy is an asshole…

  • Friday

    While the Christians whine they’re being persecuted, they send dim bulbs who actually believe inanimate objects full of porn can sign civil contracts, while they claim it’s a ‘public health crisis’ ifthey can’t look away from porn while attacking LGBT people for decades. With a cross on it.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    I thought It would be our friend Tritan, Triscut, Treaten,.. what was that boys name again ???

    • anonymous cat

      Trestin Meacham… I can only assume that since he said he Christian-promised to never eat again until the big bad gay marriage got worried about his holding-his-breath hissy fit and slinked away that he long since died of starvation.

      • Ragnar Lothbrok

        Could be.

        I don’t know who you are, but you kinda remind me of someone.

        • anonymous cat

          Shhhh… you’ll blow my… ummm… cover in the whisker protection programme.

        • vorpal

          Better?

          • Ragnar Lothbrok

            YAY YAY HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY !!

          • vorpal

            I knew that if anyone would see through my oh-so-clever disguise, it would be you.

            Freshly foiled by fancy fag!

          • Ragnar Lothbrok

            Next time, don’t take the fortune cookie literally. KThxbi!!

          • vorpal

            I think you meant:
            Don’t take the fortune cookie literally… in bed.

  • Gregory Peterson

    Is his computer 18 years or older and can give consent to the marriage? Or if 16 or 17 has the consent of a parent or guardian?

    If so, I now pronounce you Man and Machine. You may boot up now.

    • tonyg

      I’ll have you know that my Commodore 64 and I had many happy years together.

  • David in Tucson

    May his computer always show him this, and may he never escape this:

  • MBear

    Str8 people are stupid

    • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild

      You think he’s straight? He looks like a typical closeted airport toe tapper to me. I doubt any of the porn he’s downloading on that computer of his features any naked ladies.

  • ben-andy

    Yes. A computer cannot enter into a legally binding marriage contract because it is either less than 16 years old or non-functioning [if older] or non-sentient or all of the above.

    lol

  • AdamTh

    I hope Mr Sevier is representing himself during the court proceedings, any attorney that would be involved in a case like this should be disbarred immediately.

    • BanditBasheert

      He has been disbarred already so says the article above.
      I think the Bar would be so proud of him – he’s a real awesome example of the legal field.

      • AdamTh

        You are correct, it does say that. Missed that detail…

  • Adam King

    I’ll be convinced when he sticks his dick in his laptop and slams it shut–or takes his laptop and shoves it up his ass, if that’s his preference.

    • Jmdintpa

      keep talking baby.. all that slamming and shoving is hot. lol.

    • BanditBasheert

      Well said !! It would make sense too since obviously he doesn’t have any use for either of them.

  • Jmdintpa

    I understand exactly what this man goes through. For years I have been denied a divorce from my toaster to marry my true love , electric skillet. Just because you do not understand or approve doesn’t mean you have the right to demand i live to your standards.

    • agcons

      Your relationship with your electric skillet is an abomination unto the Lord. All normal people marry their food processors, you pervert.

      • David in Tucson

        I’d like to marry my blender and my food processor. And then have a four-way with my stand mixer.

        • JaniceInToronto

          FFS be careful with those things! They have lots of sharp bits that would do very not nice things to you.

          • (((GC)))

            Yeah, you’d better hope “Lorena Bobbitt” means nothing to them!

          • Tigernan Quinn

            I’m in a committed relationship with my stapler and you’re all whores.

      • BanditBasheert

        I’ve seriously considered marrying my Keurig! At least it’s useful.

        • Reality.Bites

          Don’t do it! Once you’re married the price of pods doubles.

      • (((GC)))
  • Readen Reply

    sorry to pull out the queen, but oh honey, that’s a c*cksucker if I ever saw one.

  • BearEyes

    didn’t this a-hole try to pull this shit in TX?
    Talk about frivolous – shut her down for the bullshit

    • IamM

      Texas and/or Florida ??

  • IamM

    He and Milo should go out and drink themselves to death.

  • Hank

    I think he would be an excellent AG for Hair Drumpf….. after all he just likes to SUE!!!/s

  • BanditBasheert

    He sounds perfect for the Trump campaign.

  • tcinsf

    I’ve posted this before. The guy has actually found to be mentally ill and his license to practice law was revoked (probably not full disbarment, which would be permanent.) As hateful as his nonsense appears on the surface, in his case it may very well be the result of lunacy for which we should cut him a little slack.
    Flame away. I wear my bed-wetting liberal stripes with pride.

    • KarenAtFOH

      He can caress his Apple IIe in bed to his heart’s content. But he can’t clutter up our judicial system with his hateful crap.

  • fuzzybits
  • DesertSun59

    I wonder what part of ‘competent parties’ these freak shows don’t get when it comes to signing a marriage license.

  • andrew

    This guy is a jackass who is just starved for attention.

  • KQCA

    This dude is a South Park character come-to-life. This is the face of evangelical christianism.

  • JustSayin’

    I love the irony of utah defending same sex marriages

  • TallBearNC

    He’s trying to prove the age old adage that far right Christians claim that gay marriage will allow all other types of marriages to happen like marrying children in and Marring animals and that kind of stuff …..

  • dcurlee

    I’m surprised Liberty Council hasn’t hired him. He seems like a good fit for their team

  • Well I guess we know why Douchy McHomophobe was disbarred now, don’t we.

  • Jerry Kott

    When this asshole stops chasing his tail, he will realize that his real enemy is the image he sees in the mirror.

  • justmeeeee

    If he has fucked his computer without being married to it, though this may be legal, it is also a sin, I think.

    • PhillyProfessor

      If his computer is less than 16 years old, it’s not just a sin, its Statutory Rape. Five years in prison should help him understand that when a laptop says “Error: 403 Access Denied”, it means “Error: 403 Access Denied”

  • KnownDonorDad

    The threshold for frivolous lawsuits is way too low in this country.

  • Tammy Rainey

    nono. LET him do it. All we need is a signature from both parties on the license…oh…wait….

  • patriciashunter

    <<ls. ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!ir310m:….,……

  • Skokieguy [Larry]

    He is disbarred by the attorneys at Liberty Council still retain their credentials?

  • Mark

    This guy gets around! I guess box car living and rail riding isn’t all that bad…..

  • sfmike64

    Queen, please. Porn didn’t ruin your marriage, you being a COCKSUCKER did!