CANADA: Toronto Pride Reads Their Hate Mail [VIDEO]

From the Toronto Star:

Homophobia and hate is still rampant in our society — just ask Pride Toronto. Every day, the organization receives hate mail — usually from anonymous people who don’t believe in Pride’s mission to make the city safer and more accepting for LGBTQI people.

“If you were my child and you turned out gay I’d burn you alive,” said one particularly vile message. In a video, employees from the Star read these tweets, letters and emails to members of Pride Toronto in order to show the damage that hatred has on our community.

“It’s a little surreal, it almost seemed fake to hear the words out loud,” said Michelle Cherny, a member of Pride’s board of directors. “The hate is out there.” Rachel Lauren Clark, another member of the board, says the worst part of hearing the hate mail read out loud wasn’t the message’s content, but the fact it is so commonplace.

Toronto’s parade is this Sunday.

(Tipped by JMG reader Gigi)

  • Matt

    Some people are truly terrible. You figure they all had to grow up with such hate in their homes. Church probably didn’t help in many of these cases either. Religion ruins so much on this earth. Sad the rest of us have to pay the price for the ignorance of some.

    • Six Pins Delores

      It is mostly annoying the fact that they do such tax free, well, in the U.S. anyway

  • I do not want kids. Never have. However, if by some cosmic event I turn out with kids, I would never write words such as these. I don’t have that much hate in my bones for that. Nor am I “christian” enough.

    • Anastasia Beaverhousen

      Even NOT having kids, I would not write, say or think something this evil.

      • Six Pins Delores

        You are drunk sweet, but I believe you

      • MT YVR

        For me, here’s the thing.

        Growing up in an abusive household I learned early that everyone, and I mean everyone, will at some point have that blank-out moment of blinking at you and saying “but you only get one family”. And insist that there has got to be a way to make up with them.

        As the person being abused.

        There is such a tsunami of pressure, culturally, to believe Family Is All that it’s often impossible to understand these specific kinds of messages. For a civilization that so often places an unhealthy burden on Family Is All, Love Wins Out as if biology trumps reality… it’s also one that seems soooo prone to horrific abuse and violence downward within the family structure.

        Whenever I read/hear things like this I blank out. Because I cannot for the life of me connect with family in the first place, but being the brunt of the pressure to forgive, forget and clutch to my bosom the people who damaged me… I just can’t see how these same people think things like this.

        And are surprised when we think they’re horrible people.

        A small personal note. If the first thought in response to a person, not you, doing something, that doesn’t effect you in any real or physical way, is “burn”? There’s something wrong with you. Regardless if it’s aimed at your kid, your neighbour or a person halfway around the world.

        • popebuck1

          I’m sorry to hear about your experience with your biological “family.” I agree, you’re well rid of them. I hope you’ve found a much better family of your own choosing since then, though!

          • MT YVR

            Oh aaaabsolutely. Not all families are like that and I’ve met/seen many that are amazing. But the pressure for all families freaks me out. We not allowed to fail. Which means we can’t fix what breaks. So we just stump along and along and along on broken bits and pretend no one’s bleeding and all the smiles are perfect. It’s eerie.

            I have since found family of choice. They mean the world to me. And when I see good families… good parents… in some ways I value them a little bit more than people realize. HAAAAAAA’s comment, for instance, makes me want to hug them for days and days and just thank them for being. (shrug)

            I’m lucky and happy. I got out, I made a new one.

        • Todd Allis

          Biological families like that are one reason many people have created their own chosen families.

        • Joe in PA

          as they said in the video…I think we need a hug after that. ;-(

          I’m sorry.

        • Bomer

          Having grown up in an abusive family I understand exactly where you are coming from.

          Not only do I hate being told that I should just forgive and forget because they are family, I also hate getting the “I’m sure they love you in their own way” bullshit too.

          • MT YVR

            Oh I LOOOVE that one.

            Yes. Of course they do. When it suits them. When they remember. In ways that self aggrandize. On their terms. And the parts of us they like in that moment. (twitch)

            Sing along with me. “But I loooove you, I’m your (parent) and you’re my baby! Why can’t we get along?” (faceondesk) Oh, when you stop being a thundertwat? (ahem)

            Ok, therapy session done for today… lol

          • Gianni

            In the real world, there are many times that families treat their own much worse than you would expect from any coldhearted stranger. Blood may be thicker than water, but, that doesn’t always mean it’s better.

          • Duane Dimitrov

            Omg, I get the same shit.

            I am like, “No, actually, they don’t love at all. That’s just kinda the way it is…and, yes, to further answer your next question, I’m well acquainted with their loving view of me as their ‘faggot son,’ and all the ways I never cease to disappoint in all I do…simply for being gay.”

            “So, no, I don’t plan on making amends. I’ve got none to make.”

        • witch

          There is family that you’re born with and then there is what I call Family of the Heart

        • Adam Schmidt

          My father abused my sister and I growing up. Never sexually, and only rarely physically. But I don’t think there was ever more than two days in a row that went by without being told how I was a terrible disappointment, that I was a failure, that I just wasn’t good enough. When I came out at 17, my parents put me in therapy and thought I was “cured” despite the psychologist telling them that I was remarkably well adjusted all things considered.

          At 21 I had to come out to them a second time… my mother cried for 3 days. My father told me that if he’d known I was going to be gay he would have made sure that I was never born.

          After that I decided I’d had enough of my family and I set out to find my own way and with it I would make my own family. I have friends that are better family than any biological relative I’ve ever had. They’ve been there for me no matter what… up to an including loaning us money for the down payment on the house we now live in.

          And this year I found out that my father is dying. He has among other things COPD and his lungs are slowly filling up with fluid. At his age it is unlikely that he’ll survive another year. I didn’t find out about this from my mother, she never called to tell me. I found out from my sister who had decided that his dying meant that we had to make up with him. She keeps on about how important it is to be able to live with things after he’s passed and that we need to make every possible attempt to reconcile.

          The thing is that I realized years ago that I was better off without my parents in my life. I’ve made attempts over the years to get my family to try to work things out only to be rebuffed again and again. I’ve tried. And if he died tomorrow, the only thing I’d be sad about is that he wasted so many chances to be a father. I can’t change that and I can’t change him. I can only do my part and I’ve done it again and again.

          So at this point I suspect that I won’t go to his funeral. First because I haven’t seen him in 20 years and the last time I saw a picture of him I didn’t know who it was. Second because I doubt my mother will tell me that he died and if I’m not wanted there, I definitely don’t want to go.

          I’m sad that they’ve wasted their lives listening to priests tell them to hate their children. I’m sad that they’ve let themselves be drawn into believing that “it’s only a phase”, that I’ll grow out of it, or that if they only give me enough “tough love” that I’ll come to my senses and settle down with a nice girl and find God. But it’s not up to me to fix them. It’s not up to me to forgive them if they keep doing the same hurtful shit.

          What is up to me is to love myself for who I am.

          And as a wise man once said, “I have taught myself to sew, cook, fix plumbing, I can even pat myself on the back when necessary, so I don’t have to ask anyone for anything. There’s nothing I need from anyone except for love and respect. And anyone who can’t give me those two things has no place in my life.”

          • MT YVR

            Startling similar story. (raises glass) From one survivor to another.

            A long time ago I started to referring to them as Mike and Sue. They were never parents, they were two people with totally understandable mistakes under their belt. But they compounded their loveless and chaotic mess of a marriage by being the worst possible people to my brother and I. And there is no way in hell anyone can convince me they were ever parents.

            So imperfect, impure, flawed people they are. That’s as much “forgiveness” as they get. It doesn’t change the endless list of abuses and uncaring neglect that I survived. Like you I spent up until I was 20 being told in clear terms that not only was I a waste of space but I should be thankful, in not so many words, that they were kind enough to keep me. To be disappointed in, to be burdened by, to at points hate.

            They and others look for a panacea, a cureall moment that makes it all better. Well, some of us on the other end of things were looking for it too, for years. And we’ve got the lives that bear the marks of that searching. The best they get is understanding. But the scars aren’t better for it.

            When I came out? Mike was relieved, he had worked through his homophobia by having to work with openly gay men and women who called him on his shit as equals. And finally this scientist of a man “understood” his son. Because, duh, he’s GAY. That explains everything.

            Sue spent a good couple of years trying to get me to go to therapy. To “adjust” to being out. (eyeroll)

            It was The Thing they retconned into our lives to “explain” everything. It was the whitewash they used to erase everything under the smudges of “but he wasn’t out”.

            So, again. From one to another… (raises glass again… it’s my Friday, can y’all tell?) Here’s to surviving the assholes. May we live long enough to see their monuments turn to ash and be forgotten.

          • Adam Schmidt

            *raising my glass*

            To another survivor, and for the ones that didn’t make it through.

          • David Walker

            Adam and MT YVR, I totally get it. Mother understood what Jack and I meant to each other. Unfortunately, she died way too early. My father was one of The Truly Religious and it only got worse the older he got. I had a good job, I considered myself a success, I thought Jack and I had a great marriage (although such was utterly unthinkable Back Then). My father couldn’t understand why I didn’t get a good job (that is, a physical job), why I didn’t find a nice girl and get married. He told me what a disappointment I was, how he’d never hire me to work for him, how I needed to be saved, and on and on and on. One Sunday as I was driving home in my usual state of fury, I decided I didn’t need that shit anymore. He died with us not talking. I hadn’t seen him in several years. “Making up” would have meant that I’d have to acknowledge his opinion of me, and I knew better than that. I deleted him and I don’t regret it for a second.

          • ohbear1957

            Similar story here. My father bullied me until I said “enough” – and I cut him out of my wonderful, loving life that I spend with my real family of choice. He died last December. I didn’t go to his funeral, but I thoroughly enjoyed my 5 days of bereavement leave.
            As Bonnie Raitt sang, “We can’t change the past, but we can leave it behind.”

          • Todd20036

            The family you have that has meaning to you is all you need.

            And just because your family isn’t related to you by blood, simply means you can fuck them if you want.

            What can I say? I’m a slut to my core.

        • Jafafa Hots

          Years ago a therapist once told me “everyone dreams that one day their abusive parents will just suddenly understand… it will just dawn on them that they were wrong, did wrong, and will come to you and say ‘sorry’ and everything will be better after that. That NEVER HAPPENS. Don’t waste your time waiting for it.”

          Every time I hear people say “family is everything” or “never give up on family,” etc., I know that they are speaking from a place of privilege. They don’t know what they’re talking about, and if they’re lucky they never will have to know.

        • Todd20036

          My older sister had a 2 year old’s temper tantrum because I told her to “shut her trap” after she was lecturing me about something nonsensical.

          It was late and I was tired.

          After that, I realized she didn’t really give a damn about me, and I haven’t talked to her since – about 3 years now, except at my father’s funeral.

          The whole “but she’s your sister” argument falls flat when no one realizes that works in both directions or not at all.

          I’m sorry it took a long time for me to realize it, but not sorry to turn my back on an asshole who happens to be related to me by blood.

      • Duane Dimitrov

        Yeah, except I hate children.

        God I hate them SO MUCH.

        • HAAAAAAA

          Thats sad

          • Duane Dimitrov

            ugh. No.

        • JCF

          Good thing you never were one—how hypocritical would THAT be!

          • Duane Dimitrov

            I hated being a child.

          • JCF

            Maybe you hated being a child, because you were around people who “hated children SO MUCH”? Just a thought.

          • Duane Dimitrov

            No, just wanted to be an adult.

  • MT YVR

    To those who don’t live with this, know that it exists… I’m glad that you are in places that are safe enough that you don’t know this kind of hate. I don’t doubt there are places in the world that are like that.

    But for some of us… this is unsurprising.

    When the Orlando shooting took place a group of peers and I all said, over the course of days and weeks, the same thing.

    It did not shock us. It did not surprise us. It made us angry. It made us sad. It made us feel tired. But it was not an unfamiliar set of feelings.

    We move forward. We do the work, we pass the laws. It’s like mountain climbing… we’ve placed pitons for those that come after, hoping they’re anchored to bedrock and doing our best to have safe spaces come after. But it doesn’t negate that the world is still not what it could be. It’s just… better than it was. Which is all we can hope for, really. I think.

    • LovesIrony

      I live in a small city. My husband and I are loved by our neighbors and we have so many friends that we are humbled by their support of us. Yet we have been spit at and some 30 something momma basement dweller in a rusted out yellow dodge dart yelled “fucking faggots” at us while we were walking our dogs. Our supportive friends are shocked. I tell them it’s always there. We’re always aware that someone that would hurt us or our pets or property is out there. ALWAYS.

      • Falconlights

        That is the truly tragic thing. That we can never take peace and quiet and being allowed to just live our lives for granted. That we all know that that hatred is out there and could strike us or those we love, pets included, at any time.
        I will keep you, your husband and your pets in my thoughts.

    • nowhereman

      I’ve been waiting for 65 years now. Any guess as to when my life will be worth living?

      • MT YVR

        I couldn’t begin to guess.

        In the face of the young men and women I meet who think this is being pessimistic, to those that have never had to face this kind of thing, to the people outside of the community who don’t get it… I understand a lot of this remains a mystery. Unfortunately I am a product of my experience. I believe it’s luck and a series of circumstances aligned that allow for their perspectives.

        I hope. I hope that those people never ever have to face it. I fear for them leaving those spaces or experiences. But I want that world to be real.

        The pragmatist in me has, in the end, learned to accept the moments I get and not be disappointed when they don’t turn into months and years. I don’t want that for anyone, and despite the arguments in the past with a few specific people who disagree, I wish them to never ever experience this.

        But I am unsurprised at humanity’s capacity for hate. I just wish it would remember it’s capacity for kindness more often.

        • nowhereman

          I’m in about 4 groups who are regularly discriminated against. I’ve lost all my patience.

  • bryan

    And you can bet that the psychopath that said ‘ to my unborn child, if you turn out gay, I’ll burn you alive’ identifies as pro life and pro family values.

    • Gianni

      Also, likely church every Sunday and Sunday School after. Always demonstrating the love of Jesus that they carry in their hearts.

      • ohbear1957

        I wonder if NOM and their ilk will sell onesies for newborns embroidered with the slogan “If you turn out gay, we’ll burn you alive.” Delightfully adorned with a flaming bunny or a charred kitten.

        A threatening, but darling outfit, and available in the lobby following morning services.

    • TrollopeReader

      …and tithes ….

    • I.Smith

      Also has 11 brothers and sisters and likes to Dugger the Girls.

  • EdmondWherever

    It’s good that it was so short, I guess?

    • RJ Tremor

      The rest of the internet makes it anything but short, ’cause there’s so much unrecorded.

      • EdmondWherever

        That’s true, but the internet is a cesspool of hate anyway. 3 messages is kind of a point in Toronto’s favor.

      • *sigh* Sad but true.

  • billbear1961

    If this species is doomed–and I suspect it probably is–I will remember this threat from a parent to burn her child alive if it turns out to be gay.

    It will make it easier not to give a DAMN about human EXTINCTION.

    • nowhereman

      Lately I’ve been wishing for a stray asteroid to hit us. I really do think that we are beyond hope and not worth saving.

      • shivadog

        I always hoped for something more targeted, some sort of disease that only humans get. Why should every species die just because humans suck? Maybe bunnies or squirrels should get a chance to be the dominant species, they couldn’t do much worse than we have.

    • Six Pins Delores

      That is too much negative to comphrend beautiful

    • Gyeo

      I, for one, cannot wait for dolphins, ravens, chimps, and elephants to show that they can be for more moral than us humans.

      • TrollopeReader

        they do everyday, and we shoot and capture them in retaliation ….

    • Cattleya1

      I cannot even figure out how somebody could utter those words. I don’t have kids, but if I did, I certainly would bring them up to believe they were worthy of being more than kindling.There are so many people programmed with so much hate – it is an astonishing thing to watch. Thankfully there are more who are working for the other side.

  • WebSlinger
    • Duane Dimitrov

      WS, when do I get to marry you?

      • WebSlinger

        My husband would have a problem with that…but we should meet up…sorry for the delay in making that happen…

        • Duane Dimitrov

          Lmao, yeah yeah yeah.

          • Marinda Surrett


  • Blake Jordan

    The vile creatures that send those heinous messages are unlikely to be technologically gifted, so it would probably be easy enough to figure out who they are… and then shame them publicly for what they have written!!!

    • Cackalaquiano

      I wonder how many of them you would find to be just loudmouth teenage outcasts who are too stupid to realize that there are better ways to be noticed.

      • nowhereman

        They are old enough to be smacked down.

        • Cackalaquiano

          oh absolutely!
          And to be sure, some of these are real hate. I’m not downplaying that at all.

  • Burn you alive sounds similar to burn in hell. Now where did that come from?

  • JT

    Genocidal cultists should be pilloried.

  • WebSlinger
    • nowhereman

      Sadly, as soon as they think that they can identify us in the womb by our genes, a lot of them WILL stop having gay babies. I’ll bet that the catholic church and the pro birthers will be happy to make exceptions to their anti-abortion rules for potential gay babies.

      • Falconlights

        Of course they will make the “gay exception”, so great is their hatred for us. This is why I pray they do not find a genetic connection. It WILL be used against us.

        • NZArtist

          Maybe we need to keep them convinced it *is* a choice then.
          “Yup, absolutely I was born as straight as the next man (no, not the one who’s sucking my cock, the next one after him). I totally chose cock when I was eight years old. Absolutely not genetic, so you don’t need to go killing any babies.”

          • Falconlights

            I suspect that whatever we do, they will go on with their hate.

          • NZArtist

            True dat.

        • nowhereman

          Yup–and they will rationalize it by saying that “satan” made gay people…

          • Falconlights


      • Robert Conner

        Ya think?

  • easygoingmister


    Overcome. Not sure why this particular video set me off because I’ve heard these words before, but damn.

    Where is Jackie DeShannon when we need her.


    “To my new born. I will burn you alive if you are gay.”
    I just went into my sons bedroom, he is sleeping and and safe. And I am weeping like a baby at the inhumanity he will have to witness as he grows up.

    • popebuck1

      To look at a newborn and even think such a thing? That’s some twisted shit right there.

      (Leaving alone for the moment the question of how you’re supposed to TELL that a newborn baby is gay.)

    • tcinsf

      I suspect your kid’s gonna do alright.

      • HAAAAAAA

        Thank you.
        We will do our best to make him proud of us, so we can be proud of him.

    • Herald

      We raised our 4 and they grew up just fine gay and straight. Although I sometimes shudder at what we had to go through at times. We have to leave today’s kids a better world than we knew. That is my goal for my grandkids and yours too.

  • bkmn

    I hope they turn over the ones expressing violent intent to the authorities so they can follow up.

  • SoCalVet

    If I knew someone that had that opinion (that they would burn their gay child alive), I would work my best to secretly take them out without anyone ever knowing.

  • Rebecca Gardner

    “If you turn out gay I will burn you alive.” WTF?

  • Mark Neé Fuzz

    This person should be forcibly neutered.

  • Yalma Cuder-Zicci

    I would like to see a video like this with *straight pride* proponents reading these messages to LGBT people.

    • I.Smith

      They are the ones who wrote them.

  • Irishsupporter

    Wow, It’s not often your hear such unfiltered hate!

    • lymis

      Really? I hear it entirely TOO often. I’m deeply glad for you that you don’t.

      • Irishsupporter

        Maybe i should have said such open and raw hatred then!

    • Robert Conner

      Not often? I want to live where you live.

    • catherinecc

      At east side pride in Vancouver last weekend, one of the organizers had a bible thrown in her face by someone calling her a “fucking faggot who will die of aids and burn in hell, just like my brother did.”

      These people are potentially dangerous, but I can’t suppress the urge to laugh in their faces. And the fun thing is that we get to watch these people die – probably in nursing homes staffed by us – but not before their idea of a perfect world is stripped from them.

      At Surrey Pride, we had the local jebus truck – a tow truck modified to carry a large wooden cross, with a huge decal of “jebus is saviour” shit all over it drive by, etc.

      A douchebro in a pickup drove by a few times yelling “faggot.” I should have fired up grindr to see if he was on there…

      • MT YVR

        Good freakin’…

        Oh, and from West End : Surrey Pride! That was so cool! Congrats! (having it, not the rest of it, in case that wasn’t clear)

        • catherinecc

          First march in Surrey, yeah. It’s nice to see progress 🙂

  • Robert Conner

    Said it all before, but I don’t mind repeating it: Christianity has a history of 17+ centuries of murder, particularly of burning people alive. Christian mobs were committing murder even before the Church began to consolidate its political position in the 4th century. The Thirty Years War (1618-1648), during which Catholics and Protestants fought over control of Germany, killed around 8 million people.

    If Christians were willing to napalm a village here and there, why wouldn’t they be willing to burn their own children for Jesus? Let’s stop making excuses for religion and try to get our heads around just how homicidally crazy it really is.

    • Chris Baker

      Let’s separate Christianity from basic human desire for power and control. Yes, rulers, via the power through/over religion, persecuted all kinds of people (and no doubt, Christians in America would love to force non-Christians into conversion or death). In the middle ages Religion WAS the way to power.

      But let’s remember all the other political powers NOT motivated by Christianity or other organized religion who created atrocities. (Think of the last century and how many people died from the hands of non-religious rulers). I think that most humans, for some reason, have a psychological need for religion. In places where religion was removed, the rulers had to create a pseudo-religion (N. Korea for example.)

      • Robert Conner

        I often wonder what it is exactly that compels some people to remind us that religion is not the ONLY source of human misery–as if we’d forgotten. Let’s not forget cancer, tularemia and malaria while we’re at it. Or frost bite and altitude sickness. And let’s not forget food poisoning and migraines that have struck down millions! Or sabertooth tigers and rogue elephants!

        Is this particular form of jacking yourself off supposed to make the long criminal history of religion less criminal? What, otherwise, is this bizarre change of subject, mixing and matching of sources of oppression, supposed to accomplish? Exactly? Must we really remind ourselves of communist dictatorships if we mention burning witches and homosexuals? Or can we agree that dictatorships are one bad category and religion is another bad category?

        But since you insist on injecting dictatorships into the discussion…

        • Gfafl

          Cancer, plague, other diseases and natures disasters are not a choice. You very rarely can choose not to get cancer or die in a tsunami. But you can choose to believe in authoritarian hateful bullshit and how you treat others. So theres no correlation. Its like comparing intentionally jumping under a train and dying in the car accident. Religion apologists are like holocaust deniers; they are butthurt and trying to justify unjustifiable.

          • Robert Conner

            So you don’t do sarcasm.

      • Friday

        It’s the authoritarianism. Not all religions are authoritarian in structure but when they are it can be a very virulent combination. Authoritarians go where the ‘authority’ is, like greedy people go where the money is.

        • Gfysnmf

          “Not all nazies were hateful bigots”…

          • Friday

            Not all Godwin analogies apply.

    • Jerry

      Germany lost 2/3 of its population during and after the Thirty Years War, from the war, starvation, or out-migration. Holy Roman Empire purposely sent its army into the field without provisions, so they had to pillage as they went, and it left much of the Palatinate like a desert for the next 100 years. All of my various branches of German ancestors ended up in US after that war.

  • Falconlights

    I am, sadly, neither surprised, nor shocked. I have been told things like this all my life. I have only one blessing from my younger life…my adoptive mother, who started out homophobic, but in the end attended my wedding and accepted my wife as her daughter-in-law. Also, both families are not homophobic as near as I can tell.
    For people to even think, let alone say, something so horrible shows what depths of hatred our species is, unfortunately, capable of.

  • They should have the writer read their own letter and self-identify.

  • Mark McGovern

    It is now the era of anonymous commentary with an endless, bottomless market. I know this will be a controversial statement, but when anomyous commentary is accepted as the norm, it allows people to say the very worst things without owning their comments. The sooner Internet commentors come out of the closet and sign are forced to sign their real names to their hate, this nasty phenomenon will be at least mitigated. I have had many debates with people who refuse to actually own their words. It renders their argument, in my view, unconvincing.

  • Whicker Park

    “I will burn you alive?” What a terrible person! The joy of children turns around into absolute hate?

  • m_lp_ql_m

    This is excellent! The hate we receive daily needs to be documented and well publicized, if only to let the non-committed moderates know what we have to go through.

    It angers me somewhat when people flag hate speech and get it removed from Youtube and Facebook. How are we supposed to learn from history if it’s not recorded?

  • Silver Badger

    I’m sorry that Canada still has to deal with this. They’ve had gay marriage so long that you would think the haters would start to mellow a little. Guess not. Kinda discouraging, but a good reason to keep up the good fight for as long as it takes.

    • catherinecc

      The hate mail could be coming from the states (or from other places)

      • agcons

        It could, but there is no lack of pea-brains in Canada either.

  • teedofftaxpayer

    I’ve wanted kids, but now I’m too old. But your children should be your most precious being and should love unconditionally. When you’re a “Christian” and you disown your child because of your hatred then in reality you should be sterilized to make sure you never have a kid again.

    • JCF

      “I’ve wanted kids, but now I’m too old.”

      Not necessarily/never say never!

      • teedofftaxpayer

        I’m 69 years old. My mom died when I was 6, I really don’t want to put any child through that. I channel my love for children through my niece and her kids.

  • CanuckDon

    I’ve been reading these types of comments on Canada’s Yahoo LGBT articles over this past month. They are all overwhelmingly negative and vile. I’m troubled that they are all there as poisonous darts for our community but particularly, for those still struggling.

    My synopsis is that these are from terribly miserable people…sad and angered at life in general and need to lash out at those they think are inferior to them because it gives them a sense of one-upmanship. Their simple, narrow-minded, naive view of the world steals any power that they believe they have. Personally, I gain strength from their stupidity.

    • David Walker

      Do they use “why don’t you just kill yourself” on each other or is that reserved for us? Yesterday, I watched the Ryan Murphy tribute to those slaughtered in Orlando on YouTube. There was an 18-year-old young guy who said he had to stop watching it because it made him sad and he wasn’t sure that life was worth exploring. Several of us wrote to him to encourage him, to let him know we’re out here ready to welcome him, and then someone wrote, essentially, “You fucking fag. Why don’t you just kill yourself?” One of us tried to assure the young man that these creeps are out there and he shouldn’t ignore the stupidity, but it shouldn’t make him stay in his room. If he does, the asshole wins.

      I can appreciate how someone who is in her/his teens and has yet to come to grips with her/his LGBT-ness can be intimidated by something like “Why don’t you just kill yourself? Nobody will miss you.” I have been through enough of this shit that, as the Asian-Canadian says, “You get used to it.” How horrible that it exists and that we have to get used to it. How sad that an insecure young person has to hear it, let alone learn to get used to it, let alone imagine life with that hate coming at him out of the blue at any time.

      I used to feel sorry for people like these emailers, sorry that they go through their lives in a rage, full of hate and enjoying their ignorance. No more. Frankly, I think they’d do humanity a favor by killing themselves. I wouldn’t mind a bit.

      • CanuckDon

        I’ve never felt sorry for them because I see them as the main cause of society’s strife. They choose to ignore the discrepancies, contradictions, and complexities of this world and pompously stick with their blind, narrow views rather than admit that they don’t know it all. In regards to the current Yahoo comments, they all just repeat the same narrative…comment after comment, the same, the same, the same…..showing just how clueless they are. It’s empowering when you pull the curtain back and see only fools.

    • Yahoo is just as bad as youtube for comments. And yeah, they’re miserable people. I ran into one on twitter today (a tweet about Justin Trudeau going to Vancouver’s Pride). I had a brief exchange but then why bother? I know whoever he is, he’s a miserable, angry failure. If he has kids they hate him. If he’s married, his wife can’t stand to be touched by him. I’d pity him but he’s not worth the effort.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    No. you wont be burning anyone alive fuckhead. But if you turn out to be my dad, I will burn you from memory.

  • 2karmanot

    You DO NOT have to love your family especially if they are hopelessly not fabulous, wear plaid with stripes and have an ancient velvet painting of Nixon above the fireplace in a living room with plastic covered furniture.

  • Gigi

    When I was born I was in an incubator for several months in hospital. I almost didn’t survive. When I came out my mother said that looking at me made her sick and my father said, “I always knew you were a faggot. I wish you’d died in the hospital. I’m so ashamed that you’re my son!” Watching this video brought back those painful memories but generally I try not to dwell on that painful time in my life. My parents and I eventually came to a place of acceptance. It took a long time, but we got there. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone but I also wouldn’t be the man I am today had I had an easier life.

    • Mark

      I am so sorry Gigi. No one should have that in their lives. Yet, I can relate as certain members of my family felt that way and still do.

    • TrollopeReader


      • Gigi


    • rextrek1

      YIKES…..! I’m flabbergasted……speechless……I can’t even imagine……I was 1 of 8 children….4b and 4g, I’m the 6th….was raised catholic…..came out to my parents at 20……and they couldn’t have been more supportive…..and I have a gay sister ( I came out 1st) ….my parents were always excepting of us, and our partners…..I’m so sorry to hear that – makes my heart hurt……

      • Gigi

        Thank you for your kind words. It’s not all bad. I met the most amazing man in the world, and we’ve lived happily together for a very long time. It got better.

    • Tigernan Quinn

      Your parents are assholes, and I hope you lived your life in spite of them.

      • TrollopeReader

        If Gigi and his parents have come to a place of acceptance, then that’s good. That’s more than many get to. So perhaps they were assholes, but maybe they aren’t totally ones today.

        • Tigernan Quinn

          Well, if Gigi wants to have an ongoing relationship with him, that’s his business – as for me, I do NOT, so I can call an asshole an asshole.

      • rextrek1

        that was my 1st instinct to say first after I read that too ….but I waited to comment – and did the one below….

  • Hue-Man

    The question has been raised in a number of comments: How is it possible for this level of hatred when 99+% of equality legislation is in place nationally and provincially?

    I just finished reading the Ontario Court of Appeal decision in the Trinity Western University Law School (“Liberty Law School North”) vs the Ontario Law Society. Although the decision dwells mostly on administrative matters of whether the Law Society acted appropriately in refusing to accredit law school graduates of TWU, the fundamental issue was described clearly:

    “As will be seen, the crux of the appeal involves a collision between freedom of religion and equality, both of which are protected in the Charter and both of which have been defined and interpreted in a generous fashion by the Supreme Court of Canada.”

    Institutions like TWU communicate hatred and discrimination against LGBT people not covertly but as a matter of pride. They are responsible for inciting hatred in the general population. To gauge the tenacity of these haters, you have only to look at the hundreds of “religious freedom” laws being proposed and enacted in the U.S. The Ontario ruling shows that Canadian courts will not be supportive and will rule for equality.

    I hope the Canadian Supreme Court treats TWU even more viciously when the case is ultimately argued there.

  • Ninja0980

    I wish I could say I’m surprised but I’m not.

  • Tigernan Quinn

    Know who this is a shock to? People who aren’t queer.

  • Natty Enquirer

    Dear Hetero Haters,

    If you so despise homosexuals, why don’t you stop making them?


    • Good Shot Green

      Right? Stop conceiving us.

  • Jacob

    It was all young people. Yes love is love but I’m no longer so tolerant. I look forward to the hater’s worst fears coming true when they are locked up for the things they say and do.

  • KQCA

    Meanwhile, here in the USA, my father, my sister, and my two brothers are fully supportive of executing every one of us and “laughing at their blood running in the street gutters.” Don’t worry, anyone. My father said he would begin with me. Born-again Christian Republicans at their finest, not bumpkins in the country, but living within an hour’s drive of Los Angeles.
    Thanks to Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, Ronald Reagan, Rush Limbaugh, and both George Bushes. This is the America you wanted, fully returned to its roots….and you have influenced the world.

    • Jeezus, are you at least far way from them? Not just because of any physical danger, but just to have mental and emotional distance?

      • KQCA

        I’m an hour’s drive away. My father is too old to drive now, but the one brother is likely to make a second attempt on my life. He swears he will succeed next time. These radio and TV gay-hate/shock jocks have really contributed a terrible poison to society.

        • Skeptical_Inquirer

          Have you at least told everybody you know that if you’re found injured or dead that they should immediately suspect your brother? I don’t want anything to happen to you but at the very least, making it known the cops WILL be asking questions of him might put him off killing you.

          • KQCA

            Yes, thanks. The sheriff’s office who arrested him kind of shrugged it off and even made excuses for him. After pushing me to the ground and threatening to get a gun, he jumped in his truck and tried to run me over. The arresting officers shrugged it off because he was screaming anti-gay slurs at the moment. They didn’t want me to press charges. I didn’t, but the district attorney did on behalf of “the people.” He was let off light with a minor probation even though he justified his actions based on his beliefs. My father urged him to follow through with a gun next time. It’s crazy, but oddly enough, Rush Limbaugh’s radio show plays a huge part in this story.

          • Helen Damnation ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

            I’m so sorry for you having biological family like them. Hang in there. We’re your family now!

          • KQCA

            You betcha! I share my story only because people like me have been silent for so long from shame and embarrassment. I’m beginning to tell it…everywhere… because I’ve learned how much it helps others who are in the middle of similar stories and trying to find their way out.

        • Max_1

          TWO WORDS…
          Restraining Order

    • johncAtl

      Does that include executing you? I just have to put up with my oldest brother who constantly quotes Limbaugh and Hannity. That is, up until about five years ago, when I told him him to dig his head out of his ass and turn off Fox News. It was during Thanksgiving dinner at my sister’s house. He left about thirty minutes later and stopped to tell me he would still be watching Fox. I haven’t seen him since. Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners at my sisters’ houses has been much more pleasant ever since.

      • KQCA

        Yes, they are absolutely in favor of executing all of Jesus’ Holy Name. My father said he would like to pull the trigger himself. One of my brothers was arrested a few years ago for making an attempt on my life. Not to ply sympathy or bleed drama here, but I just wanted to make the point that this Christian hatred against us is escalating and they’re very serious about finding ways to get courts to be lenient with them on assault cases.

        About your family’s story.. .may I join you next Thanksgiving? I think I would like your company. 😉

        • johncAtl

          You can join me anytime. I’m heading to Orlando in the morning and will be drinking lots of beer at the Parliament House for the next two nights. I doubt you can get there soon enough. But I’m going to New Orleans for Southern Decadence. Maybe you could make it to that.

          • KQCA

            I’m not a beer drinker, but please….REALLY… please tip a toast to all of us Joemygodders here. I would say we are all “family,” but that is not a pleasant word for me. “Joemygodders” seems to sum it up well. It’s a good group here.

          • johncAtl

            I will do that. My favorite bartender in Orlando is just under 30. He loves latino boys, and since he works at the Parliament House he probably knew many of the victims. I may climb across the bar and hug him tomorrow night.

          • Snarkaholic

            They are your biological family…
            …but we are your logical family!

          • Max_1

            Lesbian, Gay, Transgender and Bi-logical family…

      • Max_1

        My dad loves, Loves, LOVES Rush and Sean…
        However, I have taught him in the last few years that, should he wish to listen to them OR watch FOXNews(R) in my company and as slight as we see each other anyway (once a year), then he should expect to have to listen to me talk back, loudly, rudely, and harshly AT what is on the radio OR TV. If he doesn’t want to hear me, he doesn’t have to turn that bullshitcrap on!

    • Skeptical_Inquirer

      Is there any way you can move and not tell them where? Because they sound just as bad as people who kill their daughters for marrying someone they don’t approve of.

      • KQCA

        Yeah, man, I REALLY appreciate your concern. I didn’t mean to hijack this thread or anything. I just wanted to share a personal example of how these situations are still very much present among us. I have met many LGBT people who live in gay communities and gay-friendly work environments and they absolutely do not believe these situations still exist. The struggle for equality is far from over. We have not yet even arrived at being allowed to exist.

        • Max_1

          I can relate… not to threats of violence, but the castigation and dismissal, the cold shoulder, etc. … relate-able. If they aren’t willing to be responsible for how they make you feel… there is no way they will build a bridge with you. I wrote my own book on this subject… You need to be yourself. Fuck’em.

    • Max_1

      Radical Christian Extremists…

    • Max_1

      The year after my mother’s funeral in January, THAT Christmas was the first Christmas I was invited to my sister’s house in over 20 years. They all exchanged gifts before I arrived… all on display in various sorts. I gave them each a present (father/brother/brother’s g-friend/sister/sister’s husband/ sister’s son and daughter). I got, one card from dad, one gift certificate for a dinner from my sister. OK… so I shrug it off, because mom just died, I’m trying to make nice. So, New Year’s day I call dad. He answer’s the phone… on the beach in Maui. My sister, her husband and brother all went together… Mom was buried Jan 7 the year prior. They planned on commemorating her passing WITHOUT me.

      I CAN relate…

      • KQCA

        OMG.. are we related? I wish I could give you a hug right now. I imagine that you have discovered that we CAN choose our family. They don’t have to be blood-related.

  • johncAtl

    Someone earlier today referred to the people that leave these type comments as “basement internet warriors.” Which is a perfect description. They anonymity of the internet gives them the ability to say things they know they could never say in public.

    The image here is from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution website today on an article about the mother in Texas that killed her two daughters in order to upset her estranged husband. Without the anonymity of the internet these people would never be able to get a job.

  • CandyDarling

    Where’s “JaniceInToronto” to blame this on America?

  • Wynter Marie Starr

    I could only make it through a few of your stories without crying. I’m a mother. I love unconditionally. I’m so sorry some of you didn’t have that. To the cold hearted bitch who would “burn” her gay child, I hope nature has made you sterile.

  • douglas

    Sadly I read these comments daily on yahoo message boards. They have been running stories all month and the haters have been out in force spewing this garbage.
    Many years ago when I was on AOL it was the same scenario. Hurtful language and threats of violence to myself and the LGBT community. They violated many of AOL ‘s terms of service. They were reported but AOL found nothing wrong with them.
    They were hate speech pure and simple and in Canada we hAve laws against that. I filed complaints against the 7 worst offenders. Since AOL refused to identify these people, or ban them from AOL, o had to get court orders to find out who they were. When they were served with notice to appear at Tribunal all of a sudden they weren’t so brave. I got settlements out of several of them which was donated to the LGBT Youth Helpline. I’m an older guy and I can take their crap but I did all this for the kids who might have had their first stirrings of same sex attraction and they didn’t need to see so much hate directed at them. Glad I did it.

    • Max_1

      Hint: Yahoo is hell… They’re all fire and brimstone, “die fag” types.
      You really can’t call it Yahoo without all the yahoos spouting off…

  • Whicker Park

    Mom and Dad passed away too early. The famiglia never had a problem because I had a brother who was “that way,” according to my Mom, who really did love us all. She loved her son’s “wife,” too. Very much. Very Italian. *smiles*
    When I received an invite to my great niece’s wedding, I dreaded seeing my other brothers. They did not know ANOTHER one of their siblings was “that way.” But I decided to make due and go see my family, 1st time in over 10 years.
    As my husband wheeled me into the hall (I’m in a wheelchair), I greeted my oldest brother, 75: “Hi! How are things? You look well. Where is your wife? By the way, this is my husband,” Whom I pointed to. Apparently they were caught off guard, especially my youngest brother’s wife, who tried to glare a hole into me.
    My Niece sat us at another table with some very nice people, very chatty. Turns out that my great niece’s bridal party had several lesbians in it, and my Niece did say that we’d feel right at home. We did. The brothers left before the party really got going. Too bad.

  • Marinda Surrett