One Million Moms: The Muppets Show Has Been Canceled Because Jesus Blessed Your Donations

Two weeks ago ABC/Disney canceled the rebooted Muppets Show. Critics had savaged the show’s “depressing” story lines and a mid-season retooling with a new showrunner failed to improve ratings. But as they typically do when things they had nothing to do with turn out their way, today One Million Moms is taking credit. From OMM head Monica Cole:

HUGE Victory! The ABC series “The Muppets” has been cancelled! The comedy series lasted only one season after 1MM warned parents the new adaptation of “The Muppets” was for adults only. Beloved puppets do not mix well with perversion, sexually charged jokes, and crude humor.

Praise the Lord! These accomplishments are the result of the Lord’s blessing on the prayers, action alerts, email letters, and gifts from concerned and generous supporters. Would you help us to continue these important efforts? Please make a donation of any amount today.

What kind of country are we going to leave our children and grandchildren if we don’t fight for our values? We may not win all the battles, but we will win some. I sure don’t want to give our country over without a fight and I know you don’t either. We depend heavily on donations. Your gift is greatly needed for 1MM to remain strong!

As you know, we are a nonprofit organization that relies on financial support from concerned parents like you! Christians have to stick together. There really is strength in numbers. Make your donation today!

You’ll note that One Million Moms hasn’t uttered a peep about the renewal of The Real O’Neals, another show they targeted with many advertiser boycotts. White Jesus sure is selective about his “huge victories.”

  • John P.

    Ratings. Nothing more.

  • abel

    A thoroughly stupid woman, you might think. But she’s just another grifter, out for her share of the fleecing. Only when religion is thoroughly discredited will scammers of her sort disappear.

  • barracks9

    Monica forgot to include the mandatory asterisk.

    * Not an accurate representation of how prayer works.

    • bkmn

      ..

      • wmforr

        Now that’s the damn sexiest picture of Jesus I’ve ever seen! And for once, he looks happy!

        • Taleisin

          ..

        • Robincho

          I didn’t realize they had such great implant people back in ancient Judæa…

  • i never saw it (the new one). did it suck?

    one mushy mimbo has a nice scam going. hate everyone, claim credit every time one of them does so much as close a branch office. lame. but i guess somebody’s floating their tab.

  • PickyPecker
  • Todd20036

    I personally prevented a zombie apocalypse with my prayers.

    You’re welcome.

    Send money.

  • AtticusP

    The show had terrible reviews and horrible ratings, but I’m sure that had nothing to do with it.

    Now here’s Ben Cohen with the news!

    • Helen Damnation ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      Dang you. Now I’m stuck here, can’t scroll down…

    • I would like to see him and Prince Harry getting it on for a charity proceeds X-rated movie.

      • GanymedeRenard
        • olandp

          And it’s another red head too!

          • PickyPecker

            #GingerLove

          • GanymedeRenard

            Aaaan, he’s probably family. You know. Look at his reaction. XD

          • GanymedeRenard

            Aaaaand he’s probably family (look at his reaction). 😉

      • james_from_cambridge

        Someday, I’m gonna marry me a Chav and live happily ever after. Or until he steals my car, all my money and dignity. It’ll totally be worth it!

        • Ah James — I always thought you were from Massachusetts! LOL silly yank me. Yes, Chavs are hot. I love Cambridge btw if you are indeed in England, it is stunning.

          • james_from_cambridge

            I am from Boston. But my penis wants a piece from all over.

          • You sound like a total cutie 🙂

    • NZArtist

      Yeah, I thought it was crap. It was a bad parody of a format I already disliked, presented in the way I disliked. I watched half of one episode and gave up.
      It didn’t work at all.

  • PickyPecker

    ::

    • james_from_cambridge

      There’s like 75,000 members of OMM and that’s on Facebook. I doubt more than a small fraction actually give them money. So they’re really 75k Moms.

    • Shy Guy

      That seems rather low. The fertility rate in the US is 1.9, meaning on average one million moms should have 1.9 million kids.*

      35,000 of that 1.9 million being homosexual is only 1.8%.

      *Ignoring the fact that one million moms excludes the childless women who would bring the average down, so really should be slightly more kids.

      **Also ignoring the fact that it says 35,000 moms will have at least one gay/lesbian child, not there will be 35,000 gay/lesbian offspring, since I don’t know how to account for the difference.

      • Diogenes Onionpants

        It is oddly phrased, isn’t it? But it’s giving a percentage of mothers who have gay or lesbian kids (doesn’t account for trans in this case), and suggesting that 3.5% of mothers have at least one g/l kid. There’s no indication what percentage of g/l offspring is, nor from where that number is drawn.

        But it’s meant as a reminder, not to the kids, but to mothers who might be tempted by OMM’s shenanigans: be careful whom you hate; that could be your own child! (Yep, lookin’ at you, Phyllis Schlafley…and too many others to count.)

        • Shy Guy

          Yes, indeed. I just feel the message is somewhat blunted due to low-balling the number.

          I also suspect that anyone who would associate with OMM would be of the sort who’d say “No child of mine would choose to be gay, because I’d raise them better than that.”

  • TK

    So I guess this means God is a big fan of Lucifer, The Real O’Neals, Scream Queens, Once Upon a Time and Mistresses?

    • barracks9

      Notice how they never go after juggernauts like “The Bachelor/Bachelorette”?

      • oikos

        Wholesome christian bride bartering just like in the buybull.

  • HZ81

    Woo-hoo. Drop an extra Xanax into your Chardonnay tonight, ladies. You deserve it.

  • Sam_Handwich

    i kinda thought it would be a disaster. let Mr Henson and his loveable creations rest in peace.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=penzsVANV0k

    • PickyPecker

      It wasn’t very good the couple times I caught it. One can always hope, i guess, but yes…..RIP is for the best.

      • olandp

        I liked it and didn’t think it was that bad. I mean it wasn’t Friends.

    • Spudger

      I think it was a valid effort – but yeah, not the right direction. I was a little disappointed, because they were actually doing some really great stuff with social media/youtube prior, and I thought they’d capture that. They managed to be updated, but didn’t feel like they’d sacrificed their inherent optimism. That seemed to not transfer to this new show. The Old Muppet Show presented adversity against Kermit and the cast in an “oh no! *chuckle!*” format – but the new show just felt…upset.

    • robindaybird

      The movies and youtube shorts had it, this show is just a little too cynical.

  • Bill

    And you all may thank me personally for the earthquake we didn’t have today.

    HUGE victory!

    Yallz are welcome. Send me money. I’ll be sure to get tomorrow’s earthquake cancelled, too.

    But you gotta keep sending me money!!!

  • Hey, morons. It was canceled because it sucked. You know, the opposite of why your husband left you frigid bitches.

    • bkmn

      That’s what happens when the Disney machine takes over Henson & Co.

    • olandp

      Their husbands don’t leave them, they just have mistresses.

      • PickyPecker

        or Misters.

        • Gene Perry

          or rent boys.

  • Brian in Valdosta

    I predict that come January, this laughable group (I can’t bring myself to type out their nonsensical name) will take credit for President Obama leaving office. “After eight long years, our prayers have been answered and Obama is no longer our president.” I can imagine their Tweet now.

    • Harley

      “We did not get hit with an asteroid today. Please send money”.

      • Margaretrtatum2

        “my room mate Mary Is getting paid on the internet $98/hr”…..!gd128ur

        two days ago grey McLaren. P1 I bought after earning 18,512 Dollars..it was my previous month’s payout..just a little over.17k Dollars Last month..3-5 hours job a day…with weekly payouts..it’s realy the simplest. job I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months. ago. and now making over hourly. 87 Dollars…Learn. More right Here !gd128u:➽:➽:.➽.➽.➽.➽ http://GlobalSuperJobsReportsEmploymentsAuthorityGetPay$98Hour…. .★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★::::::!gd128u….,….

        • Stephen Elliot Phillips

          Did OMM’s make ur roomie, mary, a success too??
          Damn OMM’s is better than amway!

          • Tinajsmyth2

            “my room mate Mary Is getting paid on the internet $98/hr”…..!gd140ur

            two days ago grey McLaren. P1 I bought after earning 18,512 Dollars..it was my previous month’s payout..just a little over.17k Dollars Last month..3-5 hours job a day…with weekly payouts..it’s realy the simplest. job I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months. ago. and now making over hourly. 87 Dollars…Learn. More right Here !gd140u:➽:➽:.➽.➽.➽.➽ http://GlobalSuperJobsReportsEmploymentsProfitableGetPay$98Hour…. .★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★::::::!gd140u….,……

          • Can you at least not bold your damn bot spam? It is really tacky to look at. Just put it in plain type in the future, OK?

  • Miss Piggy is grossly offended. Could it be that Moms have an aversion to tattoos? Could it be that they misconstrue her sisterly love for Kermit as romantic cross-species miscegenation? What exactly is it that has so upset them — Miss Piggy never ever exposed her more intimate pork regions when she did her famous portrayal of Lydia the Tattooed Lady with Kermit! https://youtu.be/EHXZA_5XMJ4

    • Definitely not up to standard, but brownie points for Lydia being a pig. Aspiring tattooists often learn their craft by practising on pigs, pig skin not being all that different from human skin. A google search will turn up some pictures.

  • Megrim Twist

    She’s just mad because the Muppets made fun of her on the show. I enjoyed the reboot very much, I’ll miss it.

    • Carl

      Yeah, I thought it was fun too. They’re probably a better fit for movies though. And calling the show “adult only” is going WAY overboard.

  • Todd

    ‘We killed The Muppets’ ………..now there’s some bragging rights to make you beloved amongst children young and old !!!

  • james_from_cambridge
    • 2karmanot

      My kinda FrogBro!

  • kelven

    These people are so into shaming everyone about anything and everything they have none left for themselves.

  • Thank god they saved the children from The Muppets.

  • Typing a comment to question whether or not the Million Moms are even worth the effort required to type a comment. And to pitch my new show about lesbian satanist puppets who visit schools topless and have sex a lot. I call it “The Schtuppet Show.”

  • Pretty blatant about the money beg, too. Like, three-quarters of the letter.

    • Herald

      Haters gotta hate, liars gotta lie, and grifters gotta grift.

  • Oh Monica, your invisible friend had NOTHING to do with this.

  • anne marie in philly

    one miserable mom didn’t watch the show, so it was cancelled. it has NOTHING to do with white jeebus, bitch!

  • JTC

    Typical. Pick a struggling show slated to be cancelled, then say it’s due to your “influence.” Hell, I’m surprised that haven’t gloated about Person of Interest’s demise, especially since they had that show in their crosshairs a few years ago because it “normalized homosexuality”, not to mention a lesbian sex scene this season.

  • olandp

    The One Million Moms, both of them, HATE Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy.

  • Capritaur

    When they’re for adults only, they’re not puppets. They’re fisting dolls.

  • Queequeg

    I’d rather ask what kind of planet we will leave our children if we spend all our time worrying about TV shows (hint to OMM: all televisions have on/off switches and channel changers) and not caring for the planet on which we live. There are much more serious threats to kids than a Muppets show.

  • oikos
  • oikos

    Hey One Mom, your cancellation is right in here.

    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v141/cynthetiq/kermit_nooo.jpg

    • AtticusP

      I remember Janice, Fozzie Bear, the Swedish Chef and Animal.

      But I cannot for the life of me remember the name of the Muppet proctologist.

      • oikos

        Dr. Feeley.

  • Gianni

    Oh, goody goody. Another victory for the Lord! Now we’re on a roll. We are going to clean up America whether you like it or not. I hope they leave internet porn alone or I’ll be pissed.

  • Cuberly

    “Perversion”?

    It’s the muppets not Meet the Feebles.

    https://pelicularaivosa.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/meetthefeebles-04.jpg

    Oh what evs, lie lie lie lie….fer jebus.

    • MonochromeMouse
      • Cuberly

        Lol…since it’s not for everyone I opted for a still pic.

        I showed the movie to a friend that loved campy, weird, twisted shit and he had me shut it off about 1/4 through. He hated it.

      • Judy

        I thought I had seen everything. I was wrong.

  • DutchBoy74

    My husband and I rather enjoyed the muppets, and he’s the picky one.

    I do hope they come back in some form. Maybe HBO or Netflix somewhere off network television.

  • MrRobotoLA

    Sorry, moms. The show was just a dreary insult to real Muppets fans.

  • I enjoyed The Muppets. I’m not saying it was the best show ever but I found their spoof of reality shows and celebrity culture enjoyable.

  • Paula

    OMMs, you know you were fighting against puppets, right?

    • Johnny Wyeknot

      Did Dan Quayle ever realize he was fighting against a fictional character-Murphy Brown? 🙂

      • Robincho

        Quayle never ever realized anything…

        • Johnny Wyeknot

          Ah, good point.

  • As if a frog and a pig being romantically involved wasn’t pervy enough…

    I watched one episode of the new version out of curiosity. It simply wasn’t funny.

  • justme

    YES ma’am.. A horrible remake is cancelled and it’s a victory for a bunch of moron momss

    hmm.. did I get that right??

    • justme

      And here is OMMoms new insignificant rep for getting the show off the air..

  • James

    The lord can’t end child hunger, rape, abuse, murder, and diseases, but he cares deeply about American TV shows. So weird.

    • Taleisin

      And sports scores. The lord hates the wrong team winning.

    • Chris Baker

      Maybe this is a resulting of hanging around you heathens here too much, but I was going to say the same thing: Kids starving to death, suffering abuse, disease; non-religious Trump winning over evangelical Cruz, flood, tornadoes, and yet God apparently cares more about a low-rated show of ABC.

  • SammySeattle

    Praise the lord! A show that sucked was cancelled.

  • Michael Rush
  • tim870

    I went to their site and left my comment about what really happened (the show sucked). One “mom” had left a comment saying she didn’t understand people going on to a christian site and acting like jerks. I was going to explain the irony to her but then I would have had to actually speak to one of them and I’m not into masochism.

    • tim870

      I also asked if they wanted to do a service for America could they please do something about the Kardashians?

  • Johnny Wyeknot

    The Lord was behind cancelling the Muppets but he just let a thousand people drown fleeing climate-change fueled violence in their homelands. Well, that makes sense.

  • Paige Turner

    Looks like White Jesus doesn’t have decent cable package.

  • fuzzybits
  • Margaretrtatum2

    “my room mate Mary Is getting paid on the internet $98/hr”…..!gd128ur

    two days ago grey McLaren. P1 I bought after earning 18,512 Dollars..it was my previous month’s payout..just a little over.17k Dollars Last month..3-5 hours job a day…with weekly payouts..it’s realy the simplest. job I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months. ago. and now making over hourly. 87 Dollars…Learn. More right Here !gd128u:➽:➽:.➽.➽.➽.➽ http://GlobalSuperJobsReportsEmploymentsAuthorityGetPay$98Hour…. .★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★::::::!gd128u….,……

  • Judy

    How many letters of the alphabet can they put out till they’re doing a fuckin’ money beg? “Ain’t Jaysus just the best thang? He’s so all-powerful!” OMG, “those” people are doing that thing they do! Jaysus demands money! Give till it hurts.

  • Hunter M

  • Richard Rush

    “Praise the Lord! These accomplishments are the result of the Lord’s blessing”

    I’m floored that their lord allowed the overturning of sodomy laws, the legalization of same-gender marriage nationwide, the repeal of DADT, and allowed Glee to run for six seasons on TV, but refused to allow the Muppets Show to be renewed . . . because ‘enough is enough.’

  • wds

    I was sorry in reading this article to realize obviously, none of their TV’s or remotes come with mute, channel changing OR ability to turn off. What about “public airways” do these hypocrites not understand??? POS.

  • Tinajsmyth2

    “my room mate Mary Is getting paid on the internet $98/hr”…..!gd140ur

    two days ago grey McLaren. P1 I bought after earning 18,512 Dollars..it was my previous month’s payout..just a little over.17k Dollars Last month..3-5 hours job a day…with weekly payouts..it’s realy the simplest. job I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months. ago. and now making over hourly. 87 Dollars…Learn. More right Here !gd140u:➽:➽:.➽.➽.➽.➽ http://GlobalSuperJobsReportsEmploymentsProfitableGetPay$98Hour…. .★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★::::::!gd140u….,…..