Politico: Ted Cruz Loves Being An Evil Prick

Yesterday big news was John Boehner saying that Ted Cruz is “Lucifer in the flesh.” According to a column published today by Politico, Cruz relishes every insult, even when they come from his side of the aisle. An excerpt:

Of course, Cruz isn’t the first prick to inhabit politics. Lyndon Johnson, for example, famously enjoyed humiliating secretaries, senators and aides by summoning them into the bathroom for conversations while he was seated on the presidential throne.

Richard Nixon could be nasty, too, but he resented the hatred his actions elicited. All would agree that Donald Trump is a wicked man, but he has his sensitive side, too, as proved by his emotional reaction to charges that he’s short-fingered.

If not the first prick, what is Cruz? He’s the first American politician who strives to be despised. If waterboarded, Johnson, Nixon and Trump would confess that they prefer love to hatred. Not Cruz, whose premeditated rudeness, self-righteousness, backstabbing and name-calling have inspired a dozen recent pieces exploring the question of why Washington hates Ted Cruz. He wants to be hated.

Did Cruz decide to play the hateful political villain, or was it thrust upon him? I defy you to look at him and not associate his squinty-eyed, prehensile-nosed, whiny-mouthed demonic visage with the great villains of film noir history. If looks are destiny, perhaps the answer to why Cruz works so hard to be hated can be contained in a snapshot: It’s the path of least resistance.

But even film noir villains have deep soul-searching stretches in which they question their own badness. If Cruz has submitted to even a soul-searching once-over, I’d be surprised. Instead, he wears the hatred of his peers like a badge of honor, the way Lucifer and his fallen angels wore their Lord’s scorn.

  • Joe in PA

    squinty-eyed, prehensile-nosed, whiny-mouthed demonic visage….

    hahahahahaha

    • Gustav2

      They certainly drew a word picture and we all saw his face.

      • Patriciaaceballos

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  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    Well, I wonder what the heck he does that makes even his daughter try to keep him away.

    Maybe someone should look for a number on his scalp.

    • Gest2016

      I’m sure we’ll finger it out eventually.

  • bkmn

    Is anyone surprised that there is nothing good about the guy? He is asshole in chief and that should be as far as he advances.

  • Ninja0980

    Is anyone shocked by this?
    He has been an asshole his entire life, the fact some people actually want him to be president should scare all of us.

    • Gest2016

      Humans are stupid herd animals.

  • Michael Rush

    Quick , throw some Fiorina gas on the Cruz fire .

    • Lumpy Gaga

      Gets messy when they throw water on her.

      • Sam_Handwich

        what a world, what a world!

      • Michael Rush

        We have to hire a Dorothy actor to try this at the next event .

  • Sam_Handwich

    it was so PAINFULLY obvious that Fiorina was trying to humanize Cruz during her roll-out speech the other day. …and trying to humanize herself in the process.

    • Halloween_Jack

      That’s like Pinocchio trying to turn himself into a real boy. Fiorina spent her entire campaign avoiding anything resembling a genuine moment; I don’t think she can pass the Turing test.

      • RaygunsGoZap

        But…but…LOOK at all these children I’m not eating!

        • Halloween_Jack

          “Yes, I used to be part of the Borg Collective, but it was a phase I was going through in college, OK?”

    • Gustav2

      When you use Fiorina to humanize you, it is time to give up that goal.

      • TrollopeReader

        i wonder what the little girls were saying to each other when they got home …. poor kids.

        • perversatile

          MOMMY! Mommy! Please don’t let Ted feed us to Carly! Please Mommy – Please!

      • perversatile

        Those who can, do.
        Those who are Carly,
        eat kittens for breakfast.

        • Acronym Jim

          Even though the syllables don’t line up, I read that like a Haiku.

          • perversatile

            Carly will consume
            enthusiastically
            kittens for breakfast

            Do you think she’d like a copy?

      • Steverino

        It would be like Phyllis Schlafly being used to humanize Joe McCarthy.

        • Calamity_Jean

          Or as my mother-in-law (of blessed memory) used to call her, Phyllis Shitfly.

    • Cuberly

      And it played out like a bad inside joke nobody else was aware of.

    • Butch

      There’s a piece in yesterday’s Rolling Stone that describes Cruz and Fiorina as, and I’m quoting roughly, “failed approximations of human beings.” I thought that was a great description.

  • Lumpy Gaga

    Do we really WANT an abuse power-bottom for POTUS??

  • mikeinrkfd

    Well he got his wish at least.

  • greenmanTN

    Well, at least he loves his job!

  • Mark McGovern

    OMG, his pic posted above totally does look like Lucifer.

  • Lumpy Gaga

    But Lucifer was the most beautiful angel. Boner should have known better.

  • Halloween_Jack
    • bzrd

      His mind is a clogged septic tank.

  • Todd20036

    Cruz, the only way you could be the nominee is if you steal it from Trump, which will make you hated even among the goobs.

    As the nominee, you’d have less of a chance of beating Hillary than Drumpf does.

    And Drumpf’s chances are between negligible and laughable.

    Why do you think the goobs keep pining for Hillary to be indicted? It’s the only way they can win.

    • Gest2016

      Its not even about winning for Cruz. He is America’s #1 troll. He’s nothing but a pyromaniac pouring gasoline on the raging fire of the middle class being burned to the ground. I believe Cruz is, at heart, an anarchist.

      • Todd20036

        Similar to Trump

  • Sam_Handwich
  • greenmanTN

    I don’t think it’s any mistake that Ted Cruz and Joe McCarthy look quite a bit alike.

    http://media.salon.com/2015/01/mccarthy_cruz.jpg

    • Calamity_Jean

      I notice that Cruz’s nose is crooked, like he’s been punched in it more than once.

      • greenmanTN

        God knows he seems to inspire anger in others!

  • Sporkfighter

    . . .

    • Todd20036

      Snidely doesn’t look nearly as evil as Cruz
      Not even close.

  • Rebecca Gardner

    Ted or Blobfish?
    Separated at Birth.

    • Todd20036

      I’d prefer the fish. At least it’s head reminds me of a penis

      • grada3784

        But Cruz is a big dick, isn’t he? No apologies to the Cheneys,

    • greenmanTN

      OK, I give! Which one is which?

      • Rebecca Gardner

        I made this graphic this morning and, honestly, i forgot who I put on the right and the left so now I forget.

        • greenmanTN

          Don’t you hate that? You think you’re being so organized and then you forget a simple step like that! 😉

    • rickhfx

      Twins.

  • oikos
    • greenmanTN
      • oikos

        That is true of any of the repugs.

      • CottonBlimp

        The one thing Lewis didn’t predict is that American fascism will pander to the gods Americans worship more than patriotism and Jesus; money and celebrity.

        • greenmanTN

          That’s a great cartoon! And pretty much how I picture a picture a Trump presidency.

          • CottonBlimp

            The artist is David Horsey, in case you were curious. Really liberal guy, great caricaturist, insightful commentary.

          • greenmanTN

            Thanks! It really isn’t just a political cartoon, but a full blown, very detailed illustration, full of depth and detail!

    • That_Looks_Delicious

      Leave the money on the dresser.

      • KCMC

        BWHAHAHAHAHA

  • delk

    Pretty (scary, disgusting, bigoted, ugly…)

    • Sam_Handwich

      oh my

    • lymis

      And still should be free to use the restroom.

    • teeveedub

      Cruzerina!

    • Todd20036

      Looks better than Caitlyn

    • RGG

      Because you can use photoshop, doesn’t always mean that you should.

  • Puckfair52

    Start Calling him Lucy Ballz

  • Octavio

    A personality formed by the path of least resistance? Hmmm . . . could be.

  • Prion

  • Prion

    ..,

    • TominDC

      Thanks for making me picture those two bumping uglies.

      I don’t think my penis will ever work again.

      • KCMC

        come here, soc wkr in penile encouragement therapy

        • Christopher Smith

          PET. I’m stealing it.

          • KCMC

            come early for the Intensive Training. PET IT

    • Prixator

      Is she really that limber?

  • Prion

    .,.

  • JW Swift

    With a religious, whacked-out father like he’s got, it was a given that he’d turn-out to be pretty messed-up in some way or another. Maybe daddy didn’t give him enough attention as a child, so little Rafael soon learned that negative attention is better than no attention at all.

    • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild

      “Hate is the complement of fear and I like being feared. It imbues me with an intoxicating sensation of omnipotence. I am veritably inebriated by the looks of horror or repulsion on people’s faces. They know that I am capable of anything. Godlike, I am ruthless and devoid of scruples, capricious and unfathomable, emotion-less and asexual, omniscient, omnipotent and omni-present, a plague, a devastation, an inescapable verdict. I nurture my ill-repute, stoking it and fanning the flames of gossip. It is an enduring asset.”

      People with Narcissistic Personality Disorders love to be hated. Teddy Bear was raised by his father to believe he’s the second coming of Christ. So make of that what you will.

      http://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/malignant-self-love/narcissist-i-love-to-be-hated-hate-to-be-loved/

  • Prion

    .,,

    • NancyP

      Next up: The Devil sues Boehner for defamation.

  • Prion

    the cartoonists are really going after Cruz and Fiorina…

  • lymis

    The scariest thing to me is that this sort of personal attack, while quite apparently sincere, seems to carry vastly more weight than the fact that the man is clearly completely unqualified to be a Senator, much less President.

    Left, right, center, Democrat, Republican, Independent, people are trying to choose the person who is going to run our country in our current international and domestic social, political, economic, diplomatic and environmental context.

    How anyone could even entertain the possibility that Cruz might be qualified for that, even if he was the most congenial and beloved man alive, is beyond me.

    Seriously, even if you believe that the whole point of electing the president is for your own straight insanely rich white male self-interest, or your dreams of a permanent Christian theocracy, this is not your guy.

    • BobSF_94117

      We seem to have forgotten that there are some in the GOP who just want to break the system, largely because they think the end result will be less taxation and less regulation. And that’s ALL they care about.

      • IamM

        Republicans want to rule the country and they’ll do anything for power over others.

        Say what you will about Hillary or Bernie, whether their ideas are good or bad & no matter how ambitious they are at least they work within a legitimate system of government.

      • Gerry Fisher

        …and this. “Government doesn’t work…because we’ve hobbled it.”

      • Harley

        And collapse the federal government so they can Balkanize the United States. No regulations, contaminated drinking water, and no ice sheets left on the planet.

      • Jerry

        It should be often state that people who hate government don’t govern well. Maybe they should try the Libertarian paradise of Somalia.

        • BobSF_94117

          Mogadishu is right on the sea. Quite pretty location. Must have been a nice place sometime in the distant past.

    • Gerry Fisher

      This is the conversation we need to be having. Qualifications.

      • IamM

        Disqualifications are more relevant for the Republican candidates.

  • madknits

    “If Cruz has submitted to even a soul-searching once-over, I’d be surprised. ”

    You need to have a soul first, before you can search it.

  • Cuberly

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Iu1lsw3_Kfo

    I still think the perfect example of his vileness was when Ellen Page attempted to engage him re; how religion had been used in the past to rationalize slavery and many other evils. Look at his demeanor change to mildly irritated,, refusing to acknowledge anything. It’s his MO, never give an inch, under any circumstances.

    His empathy deficit is astonishing.

    • William

      The word you’re looking for is sociopath.

      • greenmanTN

        Flatterer!

      • Cuberly

        Yep. That he is.

      • Harley

        Why do you insult sociopaths like that.

  • Buford

    A friend and I were just having this conversation. Do we know ANYONE within the widest reaches of our personal and professional networks who is, for all practical purposes, universally disliked… as Cruz seems to be…?

    We could not think of anyone.

  • greenmanTN
    • IamM

      It’s time to update that Sinclair Lewis quote: ‘When fascism came to America it was…’

  • glass

    Cruz looks like an ugly evil witch that appears in every drawing/comic.

    No offense to real witches.

  • Allow me to introduce myself.

    • Rebecca Gardner

      I love “Sympathy for the Devil” so much!!!!!!!!!

      Is it just me or is the Rock ‘N Roll from our childhood far superior to anything that ever existed? 60’s and 70’s Rock was awesome.

      • Rebecca Gardner

        I grew up listening to The Doors. Back in the 60s and early 70s My Dad used to sit in his den and crank this music on his Akai Reel To Reel that he picked up in Japan when on leave from the Navy during the early days of the Vietnam War. He was in the SeaBees and worked to make the runways on Midway Island bigger for all the aircraft heading to Vietnam.

        https://youtu.be/JSUIQgEVDM4

        • Porkie

          I grew up with all the great chansonniers/ières and never really listened to the words til I was in my 20’s (That was an eye-opener).
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ba3Pk36ie0Y

        • jmax

          My older brother was a big Doors fan. He died at the age of 15, but I still have an original vinyl copy of their first album that he bought

  • Mike in Houston
    • BobSF_94117

      A face for radio and a voice for mime.

  • BobSF_94117

    It is so blatantly obvious that some politicians run for higher office for reasons that are primarily psychological. Why we elect them is beyond me.

  • StraightGrandmother

    Cruz is the walking talking example of,
    Even negative attention is still attention.
    He acts bad therby garnering attention and it is the attention in and of itself that he craves. If it isn’t good attention, “Nice job son,” then bad attention, “When the hell did you do,” is better than no attention at all.

    • Teehee….As opposed to Donald reality TV tRump?

  • RainbowPhoenix

    You kind of have to if you’re going to actively seek out support from people who are literally genocidal. And that’s assuming that Cruz isn’t genocidal himself.

    • IamM

      Why would you assume that?

      • RainbowPhoenix

        I don’t assume it.

  • Harley

    Why did Boner insult Lucifer by comparing him to Cruz? Lucifer isn’t nearly as evil.

  • Cherry

    I still wonder what his wife sees in him? Is she attracted to evil pricks?

    • Mark

      I guess she took that ‘bad boyz’ thing a bit too far….

  • Richard Rush

    Being an evil prick is truly one of the major defining characteristics of the truest TrueChristians. The truer the TrueChristian, the more evil the prick.

  • Gerry Fisher

    What’s remarkable is that he hasn’t generated hatred from his state’s voters…yet.

    • That_Looks_Delicious

      They keep re-electing Gohmert, too.

  • RealityBass

    He’s just not an authentic human being.

  • Hank

    I would not be surprised to see a Religious Sociopath such as Rafael Eduardo Crud to show up on a “fictional” episode of Criminal Minds!!!

    Tom Lehrer, might have had him in mind…
    Poisoning Pigeons In The Park
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhuMLpdnOjY

  • Essus

    He looks like the face model for kitchen witches.

  • rickhfx

    He is one ugly Mother Fcuker, and I am not just talking about his face.

  • Arrowhead74

    I think the bag of dicks was packed in styrofoam.

  • coram nobis

    The original prick speaks: “Therefore, since I cannot prove a lover, I am determined to prove a villain and hate the idle pleasures of these days, plots have I laid, inductions dangerous …”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjJEXkbeL-o

    • coram nobis

      Addendum: before he was Gandalf, he was the best hateful political prick there was. Indeed he “wears the hatred of his peers like a badge of honor, the way Lucifer and his fallen angels wore their Lord’s scorn.” Four stars.

  • NancyP

    Johnson got a lot done during his tenure as Senator and an AMAZING amount done during his presidency. Unlike Cruz, whose MO is NOT getting anything done.

  • trouble94114

    As someone down thread mentioned, it’s pretty bad when all we can talk about is calling a candidate names when we should be discussing policies and qualifications.

    That said, “Lucifer in the flesh” and “a more miserable son of a bitch” are both rather apt descriptions of Cruz. And certainly more acceptable in polite company than “I wouldn’t bother to piss on him even if he were on fire”

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