Liberal Redneck On The Target Boycott [VIDEO]

YouTube’s viral Liberal Redneck (a real-life comedian named Trae Crowder) is back with his take on the American Family Association’s boycott of Target. As like last time, I won’t give away the best lines with a recap. Just watch below.

  • abel

    I absolutely adore this guy! Not bad looking, either.

  • Treant

    I saw this yesterday and he’s amazing!

    It needs less shirt and more down-panning, however.

    • b

      I love this dude so much it hurts. And it’s his mind, that whole person. So he has ideas, and a little juice, which doesn’t hurt.

    • rusty57

      Mr. Crowder, coming to America, wrapped in a flag and carrying a cross.
      If you look closely you’ll see his baby making stick.

      …and you’re welcome.

      • JaniceInToronto

        Ewwwww….

      • Treant

        Damn, too hairless for my taste. Alas.

  • unsavedheathen

    Cracker hotness with a brain. Does it get any better?

    • Rex

      yeah – neked.

    • TJay229

      LMBAO!

    • Strepsi

      He had me at the eyebrows. What came out of his mouth was all bonus πŸ™‚

  • Secure

    I wanna buy this hero a round of whiskey shots!

    • He’d probably be okay with an RC Cola and a Moon Pie.

    • John P.

      Well! I suppose then you hope to take advantage of this man…and do all sorts of things to him. Then get in the back of the line πŸ˜‰

  • Joe in PA

    Normally I don’t associate that accent with smartness. πŸ˜‰

    (sorry, I’m just teasing southerners!)

    • unsavedheathen

      Bless your heart!

      • TampaZeke

        You beat me to it.

        • unsavedheathen

          But it’s even better when it’s repeated!

          • TampaZeke

            Amen!

            (said the atheist) πŸ˜‰

    • canoebum

      Imagine that accent talking dirty to you instead.

      • Joe in PA

        and what makes you think I haven’t? πŸ˜‰

    • greenmanTN

      Don’t make me cut you! πŸ˜‰

      • Treant

        Say it in that accent and I might let you.

        • another_steve

          Me too.

          My Northeastern ears find that accent enormously exciting.

          • bambinoitaliano

            The southern twang is ever sexy when it comes out of a redneck liberal.

      • TuuxKabin

        Or push you down.

        • David Walker

          Or take off my earrings.

          • TuuxKabin

            with your teeth?

    • B Snow

      I didn’t, either, until I moved to the south. I think a lot of the country associates the accent with ignorance/stupidity. That changes the first time you meet a PhD in Physics who graduated from Auburn or Clemson. πŸ™‚

  • another_steve

    He’s so adorable.

    I want to nibble on his eyebrows.

    • Joe in PA

      ok, I’ll nibble elsewhere.

      • another_steve

        LOVE how he says “thank” when he means “think.”

        • Robincho

          and “thoo” for “through”…

          • unsavedheathen

            Boy’s got it down good!

        • BobSF_94117

          My favorite part is the “Whale shit!”

  • Robincho

    Luvs me sum Trae!
    (Wish he wuz gae…)

    • Treant

      I’d do him all dae
      And invite him to stae.

      • Robincho

        Mae I suggest a three-wae? πŸ™‚

        • Treant

          We might have to pae.

          • Robincho

            That’d be okae. Wut the hae!…

    • unsavedheathen

      Or drunk.

      Tomato, tomahto in my experience with the White-breasted Southern Cracker.

    • Michael Rush

      This is the first time i realized he wasn’t gay .

  • Conservatives lack empathy, simple as that.

  • Rebecca Gardner

    “I can’t even go to a God Damn potluck without havin’ ta thank some space fairy for the broccoli casserole.”

    OMG! I can’t stop fucking laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ve replayed that line about 50 times already. I need my albuterol.

    • Corsair Tact

      Back when I was surrounded by potlucks like this, I used to look down at the beginning of the prayer and then look up to see who else was looking. And that’s how I knew who in that small town was gay! πŸ˜‰

      • David Milley

        There’s a lot more open-eyed company at these things than there used to be!

        • Amanda B. Rekendwith

          Rolling-eyed, too.

        • David Walker

          Ain’t all closed eyes prayin’.

          • Bomer

            “Oh shit. Not this again. Please make it quick and let this be over soon.” Does that count as a prayer?

          • ZhyKitty

            I think it does. I’ve been saying that ‘prayer’ for a good 20 years at every extended family event.

            I miss my twin. When she was living, when the entire family would pray before a meal, my twin would often burst into song in the middle of it…usually the hokey-pokey….and I would immediately join in. The two of us would laugh ourselves silly out to the porch for a smoke while they started over.
            Now, I’m all alone in my mockery.
            It’s just not the same.

          • Bomer

            My family never really said grace, but then my brother went hard core conservative catholic and started saying grace at every meal. The only saving grace (no pun intended) to having most of the family get togethers at my place is that I don’t have to sit through any prayer and risk spraining my eyeballs from rolling them so hard.

          • Acronym Jim

            Oh God, why did mom invite pastor Brown yet again? He goes on for eternity.

      • greenmanTN

        I used to stand there looking around, but I decided to play along at least a little bit, so now I look down and admire the place setting until they get it over with.

    • ATLJason

      This was the best line by a mile. I laughed out loud at work.

    • Todd20036

      And fuck Nancy Grace, too.

      Yeah, I still never forgave her for what she did to those frat boys at Duke who were falsely accused of rape

      • #fucknancygrace

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          • Oh, Honey. Your room mate needs to take elocution lessons. What she said to you was that she’s “getting laid on the internet” but there’s no way that skank is making that much an hour because it’s just mathematically impossible to give that many 25-cent blowjobs in any hour of any day.

      • David Milley

        And causing the suicide of Melinda Duckett. So much for due process …

      • Joseph Miceli

        That woman is a sociopath. She must be to just shrug off driving one woman to suicide and almost ruining all those boys lives. Why is she still on the air?

        • Ragnar Lothbrok

          Well, she loves the baby jesus and has twins, that’s why.

          • Joseph Miceli

            Oops! I forgot how white she is, too. My bad.

        • vorpal

          She is a total drama queen and attention whore, so a darling of the far right.

          • Joseph Miceli

            and Blond! Don’t forget blond!!

      • tcinsf

        I’ve always felt a little sorry for since her fiance was murdered … but that doesn’t really excuse what she’s become.

      • Rebecca Gardner

        I fucking hate with the heat of a 1000 suns women that falsely claim rape. It god damned near impossible for a woman to ever get justice in our legal system (trust me, I know this all too well) and it’s bitches like that Duke accuser that make getting justice for actual victims even harder.

        • Christopher Smith

          And bitches like that felon Nifong, who enable such accusers.

        • D. J.

          Along with long delays and/or outright failure to process rape kits.

      • greenmanTN

        Don’t forget, she had a fiancΓ© who was murdered, that’s why she became a prosecutor. I wanna see the autopsy report, because he was engaged to her my money is on suicide!

      • greenmanTN

        What makes it even worse, if possible, is that the night after it was proved to be a false accusation, Nancy is a no-show and there is a substitute host for her show. Same damn thing the night after the suicide of Melinda Duckett, who Nancy hounded literally to death! Guest host!

        The night after that when she DOES show up? Doesn’t say a word. It’s like it never happened!

        She won’t even show up admit that she was wrong or that her constant, nasty, accusations and badgering might have had real life awful consequences! She’s truly tucking evil!

    • TampaZeke

      I can SOOOOO fucking relate to that line! Not only at potlucks but also at EVERY meal with my family. My family finally stopped asking me to lead the blessing when I started using them to make hippy liberal political statements about ignorance and injustice.

      • Todd20036

        You should have made an FSM prayer:

        Dear Noodly Lord, who art in heaven, surrounded by Angel Hair Pasta, please shine your succulent meat balls through our divine cheese grater as we drizzle your wonderful flesh in curded bovine excretions.

        And bless our garlic bread as an excellent side dish to your wondrous marinara sauce.

        RAmen.

        • Joseph Miceli

          “Oh Great Cthulhu, in your house at Rl’yeh where you lie dreaming, we await your return to destroy this world and devour the souls of all mortals in an agony of rending flesh and unending torment. ”
          Could you pass me the broccoli casserole, Aunt Pudgy?

          • greenmanTN

            Wow, a Lovecraft reference! And all the churches are of unspeakable non-Euclidian architecture! πŸ˜‰

          • Joseph Miceli

            Gay romance set in the gaslight era, with Lovecraftian themes all over the place! First book is free.

            http://jordanlhawk.com/books/whyborne-griffin/

          • greenmanTN

            Thanks! They aren’t gay themed really, but Kim Newman’s Anno Dracula series is a lot of fun. Oh, and its kind of Young Adult, but the Sleepy Hollow series that starts off with Rise Headless And Ride has substantial gay content.

          • Joseph Miceli

            I need a new book. Thanks!

          • Rebecca Gardner

            I love you!

          • Joseph Miceli

            I love you more!

        • TampaZeke

          Oh, it was enough that I referenced “Universal Consciousness” and “one human family” and “prayed” in the name of Justice.

          I just wanted to stun them. I didn’t want to kill them. πŸ˜‰

          • Mark

            I did the one with Divine Universal Creator – thought they were gonna choke on their hawaiin dinner rolls…..

      • Cackalaquiano

        …”and Lord we even thank you for the crust of CheezIts on the broccoli casserole…”

    • Buford

      As great as that line is, i think the money shot was the line about his Great-Granny being ‘uncomfortable’ eating cornbread next to a colored boy…

      “Guess what? She’d have to get her old ass over it. It’s 2016, and that’s a shitty way to be!”.

  • LOVE them liberal rednecks!!!

    • Galvestonian

      Plenty – I say PLENTY of them there hunky dudes here in Texas. Football is a religion and any sports are rated higher than an education.

      • That_Looks_Delicious

        One of the best headlines I ever read: In the 90s I was living in Cleveland when there was all kinds of ongoing problems with the schools. One time, one of the local free papers had splashed in big letters across the cover in big letters, “Board (sic) of Education.”

    • Ray Taylor

      Guess I’ll have to go out an find me some of your comics. Hot Dang, is that you?

      • Thanks, Ray… you can see ’em at kylecomics.com And no, that drawing isn’t me, it’s one of the B&B characters, (Drew Danvers, the muscle-bear from Alabama)

  • hiker_sf

    I don’t understand the attraction to these videos. It is because of his accent? Because that seems prejudiced.

    • Yalma Cuder-Zicci

      Prejudiced against whom?

      • hiker_sf

        People with Southern accents and drawls. It’s like some expect him to be a hater and stupid because of the way he speaks.

        • Rebecca Gardner

          huh?

        • Yalma Cuder-Zicci

          The attraction to these videos is the good common sense reasoning Trae is offering. Most people find the accent ironic because the loudest Southern voices are the Christianist morons Trae is taking down.

          • rabbit_ears

            Thats it exactly. The media has us saturated with hate voices from the south, and the sane ones have been all but drowned out recently. Its refreshing to hear the sanity in the south for a change.

          • Corsair Tact

            Yep!

          • fuzzybits

            There’s a lot of em in the north too. Media just doesn’t film them as much.

        • Rebecca Gardner

          I’ll let him answer your concerns for you…

          https://youtu.be/hVVbtkaMaiY?list=PLOmuq4h1KhH6r-9LylwSW-RWTgRqtzRrp

          • Corsair Tact

            The salient part is at 3:00. But the whole set is awesome! I’ve been waiting for this all my life, it would seem… πŸ˜‰

          • Joe in PA

            …improve the taste of your tofurkey burgers? THROW THEM OUT!

            Amen brother. πŸ™‚

        • Johnny Wyeknot

          Oh, you mean like Present Carter? Or President Johnson?

          • hiker_sf

            Try this: t’s like some (not me) expect him to be a hater and stupid because of the way he speaks.

            Is that better? I thought it was obvious by saying it seems prejudiced to assuming they guy is stupid or a hater because of the way he talks.

          • Corsair Tact

            Have you watched the video below? He talks about all the things you’re bringing up.

          • JustSayin’

            So you are saying you have a preconceived notion of what he should be saying.

    • Rebecca Gardner

      Huh?

      • hiker_sf

        Do some expect him to say something else because of his Southern accent?

    • Johnny Wyeknot

      Because of his refreshing common sense approach.

    • Capritaur

      Are you always this contrarian?

      • Jean-Marc in Canada

        YUP, he’s a softer version of he who shall not be named.

        • TJay229

          LMBAO

    • greenmanTN

      It’s really not that figure out. His views are in complete opposition to the typical Southern stereotype, yet delivered in a way that is entirely Southern! I would be willing to bet that MANY of the people here saying “I love this guy!” ARE Southerners! We don’t often get to hear our view presented in such a direct hilarious way, unlike people who live in notoriously liberal enclaves, oh, like perhaps…. never mind!

      I guess you just either get it, or you don’t!

  • Rebecca Gardner

    I do love his accent. I had a boyfriend for years with the exact same accent. Sadly, once we started living together I learned he was a psychopathic misogynist that confused me with a punching bag. Trae Crowder is making me trust people with that hot accent once again.

    • kcken

      Well that made me sad. No hitting. Ever.

      • Rebecca Gardner

        Don’ be sad. I survived. He was eventually arrested.

        • Todd20036

          Bet his expression on his face was surprise: “wha’? I dint do nothing wrong officer. Just teaching her respect.”

          Or some variation of that. Assuming he wasn’t 3 sheets to the wind at the time

    • TJay229

      Ooo poor darling. Sorry you endured that.

    • ZhyKitty

      The local accent is virtual indistinguishable from Mr Crowder’s sound – but the difference is, he uses proper English.

    • KCMC

      TN? Trae hails from Rocky Top
      https://youtu.be/IPM-M79Lfrw
      WV buddies sound close and can polka a mean fast twirl to

      • Strepsi

        I listened to the whole thing, love it!

    • Cackalaquiano

      I promise Rebecca, the Southern accent does not always equal inbred/misogynist/racist/uneducated hick.
      I lived briefly in Berkeley,CA, and I had a really hard time with this. People would listen to my accent and just wait for me to say something racist or incorrect.

      • greenmanTN

        I confess to playing up my accent sometimes just to fuck with people. I can go from Harrry Connick Jr to Jethro Bodine is a New York second! Well, OK, a Nashville second, which I think is actually 5 seconds. πŸ˜‰

        Then you bring out the big guns. “You ain’t read Richard Dawkins? SHee-it, yewd love him!”

  • David Teager
  • Rex

    Common sense thinking, something the haters claim to have, but are sadly mistaken.

    • Michael Rush

      Haters like to call opinions truth , which is really irritating .

      • Todd20036

        A common refrain is: Hillary will be indicted any day now and will be in jail by the time of the election.

        They speak it with some certainty and no evidence. I keep calling them out on it, but they never get it.

      • customartist

        Like suddenly straight men will put on dresses and go into womens’ restrooms in order to get themselves some illegal puthy

  • JT

    This guy deserves to be paid in BJs for appreciation.

  • bkmn

    I will heartily second that “fuck Nancy Grace too” part.

    • bambinoitaliano

      If she get enough sex she would not be that bitter.

  • unsavedheathen

    Sort of OT

    Reminded me of this video, the hottest G-rated two and a half minutes on the net. If your a former smoker like me, get the lotion and Kleenex.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWF3RNy9HXQ&feature=player_embedded

    • Corsair Tact

      No, I’ve never seen this video. I’ve never seen it 300+ times. Nope. Never.

    • motordog

      Hot dude, but I’m not really into the ‘smoking’ fetish…not judging, mind you, just sayin’.

      • Mrs. Erma Gerd

        Yep. All I see is a hot dude killing himself.

      • unsavedheathen

        Didn’t think of it as a fetish. I think the attraction is about 50% my physical addiction to nicotine and 50% wanting to make him squeal like a pig. I guess you’re right.

      • Todd20036

        After seeing my father smoke himself to death (lung cancer) can’t say I’m really turned on by watching someone smoke.

        • motordog

          Same…plus I don’t care for the smell or taste.

      • fuzzybits

        Funny,when I smoked I didn’t consider it a fetish.

    • Tor

      Love his little side-long glances.

      • unsavedheathen

        buh-huh.

  • He needs to be further away from the camera so we can see his bod better.

  • greenmanTN

    OMG, I’m dying! I literally have tears streaming down my face from laughing!

    “Im a non-Christain livin in the south I can’t even go to goddamn pot-luck without havin’ to thank some space-fairy for the broccoli casserole, and makes ME a little uncomfortable!”

    PREACH, brother!

    • Joseph Miceli

      I prefer “evil sky fairy” but yes, one thousand times YES!!!!

  • Michael Rush

    Are rednecks allowed to use the word ” rejoinder ” ?
    Love the ending of this .

    • Corsair Tact

      Well, you can try to tell one not to and then see how that works out… πŸ˜‰

      • TuuxKabin

        velcom back corsair tact, been a long time, i was wonderin’ ’bout you just this mawning.

        • Corsair Tact

          Why thank you kind sir! Just been out plundering a bit. Posting erotic novels on Kindle and such. Just havin fun!

          • TuuxKabin

            Any time. I miss me maties when I don’t see their welcomed comments.

          • Corsair Tact

            Awww thanks! πŸ™‚

    • customartist

      Honestly, I had to look that one up

    • Yes, we are.

    • greenmanTN

      We play stupid to lure you a false sense of security!

  • TampaZeke

    If I weren’t already married and Trae wasn’t straight, I’d be all over him like gravy on a pork chop!

    Where were these rednecks when I was growing up? Growing up in Mississippi, I thought I was the only gay person, and the only liberal redneck, on the planet.

    • David Milley

      I grew up down south, and a couple of my buddies were like him. They were my lifeline to reality …

    • customartist

      We are not as sparse as we used to be

    • Good Shot Green

      Gravy on a pork chop? That’s new. What kind of gravy?

      • TuuxKabin

        I’ve heard all over him like ‘white on rice’, ‘like gravy on a pork chop’ is tastier sounding.

        • Mark

          or in my part of the world, like green chile on blue corn enchiladas

          • TuuxKabin

            You talkin’ my kinda food. Got any chili colorado on the side? Yum.

          • Mark

            Not in NM we don’t — sorry ;-/

          • TuuxKabin

            Hmmmm, wonder where mama got the recipe. She was born in Alamogordo, went to SF and made chili colorado most Sundays to get us kids’ attention and to behave. Tortillas de harina on the side.

      • stuckinthewoods

        A white pan gravy is common. Like bechamel but made from the pan drippings, flour, and milk or cream. (I’ve heard that referred to as “sop”.) Could also be like a veloute using stock instead of milk.

        • Good Shot Green

          bechamel, veloute… those look like words but I’ve never seen them before.

          I haven’t had pork chops since I was a child (didn’t like them then) but I don’t recall putting any kind of sauce on them.

          • stuckinthewoods

            You might not have seen the words but you likely know the sauces. One’s just “white sauce” and the other is the gravy that was served with turkey at Thanksgiving. Basically uses the pan frying fat, flour, and milk. I think “classic” sop uses bacon fat.

          • greenmanTN

            Right? Southern cooking really isn’t that Paula Deen shit where the recipe starts, “Well, first you take a stick of butter….”

            The Barefoot Contessa could give you the same damn recipe, followed of course by, “And then Jeffrey and I are going sailing on the Cape with our GOOD friend Alan Greenspan! And the response would be, my, what a delightful recipe!

      • TampaZeke

        Red eye gravy for breakfast or brown gravy for any other meal. Sausage gravy is reserved for buttermilk biscuits.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    “And fuck Nancy Grace too” Best……Line……EVER!!!!

  • TampaZeke

    I have come to love my Southern accent. For years I removed the word “y’all” from my vocabulary because of the negative associations that seemed to be associated with it. Recently I re-embraced the word. It’s a WONDERFUL word that kind of sums up my life philosophy. What better word to represent an inclusion movement than “Y’ALL”?

    • greenmanTN

      Yup! Hell, the first time told me I had a Southern accent I was like, have yourself talk, Mr New Yorker?!

      • Friday

        Gods, when I first got down here, Boondock Saints was a thing, I’d open my mouth in a pub and everyone would be like, ‘Do the accent!”

    • Singular: Yew
      Plural: Y’all
      Lotsa Plural: Awl y’all

      • TampaZeke

        Bingo!

    • Tor

      Northerner here. My brother is married to a wonderful southern lady. I love to hear her speak. Also, she’s smart and compassionate.

    • Good Shot Green

      I’m from New Jersey and I use “y’alls” all the time.

    • TampaZeke

      I consciously changed my accent because, once I moved from Mississippi, I didn’t think anyone would take me seriously as a pharmacist, and later as a mental health counselor, if I spoke with a Southern accent.

      I’ve found that that doesn’t seem to be the case. I guess it helps that my accent is more Gone With the Wind than Duck Dynasty.

      When Trae isn’t performing as “the Liberal Redneck” (the character is an act but the message isn’t) his accent is much more like mine.

      • TuuxKabin

        I’ve been asked by southerners where I learned “say again?” when asking for clarification. I LOVE southern accents. Any accents. They’re a welcome sound to my ears. Especially eastern European, adding the ‘k’ to the ‘ing’ of a word . . . ‘I went swimmingk’, or ‘I was thinkingk’.

      • Bomer

        Growing up largely in Texas I never developed the accent. I’ve had Texans ask me if I’m Canadian though.

    • David Walker

      I didn’t have a lot of noticeable PA Dutch accent, but once I knew I would be an actor (never really happened, but it was high school), I started working on losing what was there. When I wanted to be an announcer, the program director sat me in front of a tape recorder (google it, kids) until I lost my gay voice. Unlike the documentary “Do I Sound Gay?”, I found it wasn’t all that hard to change. Plus by then I’d been smoking forever, so what had been a tenor voice had developed into a good AM friendly and FM desired bass. When I started TV, I was signed up in part because my voice could be heard on those 1.5″ TV speakers. I was afraid when I stopped smoking my voice would rebound to tenor but it went only to baritone.

      • greenmanTN

        I had a speech impediment, so had to take speech therapy. I couldn’t pronounce Rs, which really kind of sucked, given that there are several of them in my name! They do the same thing, record your voice then make you listen to listen to it! God I hated that part of it! I actually think I did lose most of my Southern accent, but then the damn thing came back! πŸ˜‰ I think I just got lazy. I’ve always lived in either Texas or Tennessee, so at some point I thought, ah fuck it, who cares? But I still can pronounce my Rs!

        I actually look forward to getting a chest cold, because all the sudden people say things like, “You have a really great voice!” I don’t think my regular voice is bad, but a touch of the flu and all it’s “Wow! You should be on radio!” (I try to ignore the implicit “face made for radio” thing there! πŸ˜‰

    • fuzzybits

      Same thing happened when we moved back from Eastern Ky. where my father was from. I got teased by all the kids,but luckily had a teacher who said she loved my accent.

  • greenmanTN

    Kind similar pro-gay Southern humor but MUCH more broadly played, about the Kim Davis County Clerk BS. Kind of like Hee-Haw if it been written by Coco Peru!

    http://youtu.be/FM4mJ493wNU

    You cain’t even go get a fishin’ license without bein’ lectured by an Apocalypse Cult Honey Boo-Boo!

    • TexasBoy

      Everybody gets thew Holy Spirit, well, except for me…I’m a Methodist. LOL

      • greenmanTN

        And c’mon, “Herzogian”?

        Surprise! Y’all don’t have an exclusive claim on Werner Herzog!

    • unsavedheathen

      These guys could be filming in my mother’s kitchen.

      Mama? MAMA???

      • Acronym Jim

        I love those oddly-hued pinks and blues of mid-century, but can’t stand the “avocados”, “autumns”, and “harvest golds” of the 70’s. Eh, maybe someday I’ll come around.

  • gary

    I am guilty of over use of the word epic, but Mr. Crowder is f’in EPIC on every level.

  • TJay229

    Now I could hang w/that Redneck.

  • Gigi

    I love this guy!

  • mepatri3

    The word is out that Target has announced that in the spirit of its inclusion policy, men and women, and even those who aren’t sure if they are a man or woman, will be allowed to shop nude in their stores. It’s been reported that the American Nudist Society contacted Target and asked if “equality” and “inclusion” meant that they, the American Nudist, would be made comfortable in all Target stores as well, since shopping with clothes on makes the average nudist uncomfortable. Target agreed the nudist should also be made to feel at home in their stores, so Target has now invited nudists from all around the country to shop naked. Target hopes families with small children, and those with nudeaphobia will understand that even the nudist should be included in their equality policy. Target says it’s also considering allowing its nudist employees to come to work nude. It’s Target’s sincere hope that everyone respect the rights of the nudist, and will enjoy seeing others shopping in the buff! Thanks for shopping at Target!

    • Marides48

      I’d shop there once just to check it out, but there are a lot of shoppers in Target that should keep there pants on.

      • Joseph Miceli

        I’ve SEEN people of Wal-Mart. That’s bad enough. No nudity, please.

        • greenmanTN

          I don’t have to go to no website to witness the people of Walmart! I have to say that my favorite was the cashier with this HUGE, and I mean HUGE, blond wig! Remember Dolly Parton in heyday? Oh, no, bigger than that! This cascading explosion of blond curls. She was 65 if she was a day, but she was rockin’ that look, so good for her!

          I haven’t her in a while. It’s like I keep track of them or anything, Ok, there is that one guy in sporting goods, but the less said about that the better! πŸ˜‰

          Then there was the older black lady on one of their scooters. I walked into an aisle and saw her trying to knock something off a high shelf with her cane. Y’know, so I say, “Here let me get that for you.” Swear to god that bitch bossed all through the store getting her groceries!

    • Friday

      Cause that’s exactly equivalent to not-harassing trans customers in bathroom stalls!

      Actually, where it is equivalent is where Christianists assume *nudists* even *want to,* never mind only exist to like expose themselves to Christianist hangups and leering in the first place. No, trans people aren’t shopping for you to look at, never mind using the toilet. Gods.

    • Cackalaquiano

      Excellent cut and paste job on multiple comment boards, troll.

    • stevenj

      You are one sick fuck.

  • Paula

    This guy is so funny!!

  • greenmanTN

    Here’s the best thing about being an atheist in the South, while everyone else is praying with their eyes closed you can grab the best piece of fried chicken! πŸ˜‰

    • David Milley

      Not it I get to it first!

      • greenmanTN

        Hey, when it comes to fried chicken, I can strike like a snake!

        • David Milley

          (grin) Reminds me of the time that hubby and I were visiting my folks in Daytona and they took us to Dufts, a cheap, all-you-can-eat restaurant with the revolving buffet. As the steamer tray hove into view, I reached out to hook a piece when a sharp fork zips by, just missing my hand, and spears the juicy breast I’d been aiming for. I look down and there’s a sweet little old lady grimly tucking it among the mashed potatoes on her plate.

          There are times it’s best to smile politely and back away …

          • greenmanTN

            Brrrrrrr! Southern buffets or cafeteria style restaurants. “We give you our oath that every vegetable will be boiled to shit!”

          • David Milley

            Amen! And _that_ reminds me of the time when we’d first moved down south that my Canadian mother tried making okra the way most vegetables — potatoes, carrots, rutabaga — were prepared in our house … by boiling it …

          • greenmanTN

            Ugh! I bet that was like a bucket of slugs!

          • David Milley

            Pretty much. Put me right off okra until I met the husband up here in the Philly region, who showed me the right way to fry it — pods picked young, fresh from his garden, either breaded or fried or, better, just slow-fried in a little bacon fat in a cast-iron pan until it caramelizes and dries and is nearly blackened … mmmmm …

          • Dale082

            You’re making this NC man here hungry!

          • David Milley

            Then you’d surely like the old bear’s cornbread. He’ll only use stoneground white cornmeal, mixed up with an egg, some buttermilk, some baking powder and soda, a little oil, and a dab of honey. Adds a splash of oil to a little cast iron skillet he’s preheated in a 425-degree oven, pours in the batter and bakes it quick.

            It comes out high and moist, almost like a cake mix. At the table we cut it into wedges, and smear them with butter, then drizzle either honey or molasses over. Best served with that okra I mentioned, or with limas, boiled, then cooked down with butter until they start to caramalize, and with fried chicken.

            Warren grew up in South Jersey, but he’s rural, so he came equipped with a complete set of nineteenth century farming and culinary skills.

          • greenmanTN

            Honestly, my cornbread isn’t that good. Not bad, but…meh.

            But I do get good reviews for my own recipe, Bacon, Spinach Feta Cheese Grits! Yeah, a lot of people say, “Oh I don’t Feta cheese.” Uh-huh, stick around and we’ll see! πŸ˜‰

          • David Milley

            Greece meets Grease! Yum! I’m going to have to try that mix next time I essay cheese grits myself. I habitually use cheddar and butter — but the spanakopita take on grits sounds incredible. Something to turn my ol’ bear onto.

            I’ll admit, it’s tough for me to cook up to Warren’s standard — I learned to cook to survive. He cooked for a while in a restaurant, and he was a draw for the place, so his meals can be a religious experience. We’re talking about someone who makes his own scrapple, starting with the pig’s head. No store-bought pie dough here!

            So it’s always fun when I can find something new to surprise ‘im. Yer grits should do the trick!

          • greenmanTN

            Actually, I was reading a novel set on an old plantation that’s currently used as a historical museum. The author mentions older black women working in the kitchen making “old timey” recipes like bacon spinach goat cheese grits, and I thought “Damn! That sounds good!” So with nothing more than that to go on I set out to make it. I used a baked cheese grits recipe that rises in the oven, a bit like a souffle, and used mild cheeses other than the feta, which was only a half a cup or so. My extended family, a rather crabby bunch, were unusually appreciative.

          • David Milley

            Ah! Will remember to use a light hand with the feta. Thanks!

          • greenmanTN

            Hey, I’m just trying to help. I’d feel kinda guilty if you reported back that Warren’s reaction was “OMG, are you TRYING to kill me with goat cheese?!” I don’t want that on my conscience. I have enough baggage without that! πŸ˜‰

          • David Milley

            (grin) Warren’s awfully kind about food mistakes. About twenty-five years ago, I made a really — er — memorable chili when I decided that if caramelized onions were good, caramelized garlic must be even better! And the darker the better! It wasn’t until our guest stopped eating halfway through his bowl that Warren allowed that it might be “a tad bitter.” But he manfully kept eating until I tore the dishes off the table and found us something else. (Yes, a dessert can be an entree.)

            How was I to know? I’d never even smelled garlic until I got to college.

            Besides, before I met him, Warren kept goats for a while. I don’t think goat cheese will be a problem, except that he’ll want to make it himself, from his own goats, which he’ll want to keep in our backyard …

          • greenmanTN

            Sorry, that does not compute. I think garlic is one of the four basic food groups which may explain a lot about my romantic life.

          • David Milley

            Well, I know better _now_! (grin) Did I mention, my folks were from the Maritimes? Dad could whip up a mean dish of brewis, but we had no spice rack.

          • greenmanTN

            You were lucky. My dad’s specialty was “beef stew,” truly watery but then you had to be enthusiastic about it anyway because dad cooked! πŸ˜› That’s why I learned how to cook to begin with, because both of them were so bad at it. Me at age 14 offering up Asian sauteed turnips in teriyaki sauce was a story all its own! I didn’t know that was an odd thing for a 14 year old boy to do!

          • David Milley

            Pretty much the same story here. Dad’s beef stew was watery, too, but I have to admit it was mighty tasty, what with the added can of tomato soup. Roasted things came out okay. Otherwise (think canned spaghetti with sugar added), not so great. Spices were a foreign concept until I got out into the wider world.

            My parents had many virtues — cooking was not among them. It’s all good, though — Warren’s a brilliant cook, and I’ve become a fair hand.

          • greenmanTN

            I am not kidding, at all, in the least. The high school football coach lived across the street from us. “Want to try some teriyaki turnips?!” πŸ™‚ LOLOLOL! He was never really mean to me, but he did tell a neighbor “That boy is really kind of strange!” And ok, yeah, i really was!

          • Dale082

            OMG … Sounds so good!

    • Cackalaquiano

      Raise your hand if you’ve ever gotten your food and were elbow deep digging in before you look up and see everybody with their eyes closed/hands folded ready to say grace.

      • greenmanTN

        Kinda. Usually I have a mouthful of food and someone says “Ahem! BEFORE WE BEGIN, let us say grace for this wonderful meal!”

        “Ummmm, can I keep chewing?”

        • Mike in NC

          “Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub!”
          -Homer Simpson

  • tomfromthenews

    LOL… Waddle your hateful ass over to Wal-Mart…that’s where all the Duck Dynasty shit is anyway.

    • William

      It all got shipped to the Walmart in my town.

  • Tor

    And fuck Nancy Grace, too!

  • edrex

    “So the hell what…” Has been my favorite rejoinder for most of my adult years.

  • Mark

    ROFL

  • bambinoitaliano

    I love him!! The only reason to go to these southern states is to look for a liberal redneck.

  • easygoingmister

    Bravo yet again! Keep ’em coming!

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    Oh we need more of him, lots more.

    Ha ha ha ha @Nancy Grace

  • David Walker

    OT, but since you’ve already had a good laugh, enjoy this week’s “The Real O’Neals,” “The Real Marriage.” The episodes have been enjoyable, but they all have hit their stride with this one. If the link doesn’t work, do an On Demand or ABC. I now officially love the series, and I love that the only laughter you hear is your own, not from a 1952 Lucy show.
    http://xfinitytv.comcast.net/watch/The-Real-O-Neals/7511489966048387112/672600643819/The-Real-Wedding/videos

    • vorpal

      The dying gasps of canned laughter cannot be celebrated enough.
      I want to suffocate it in its sleep.

      But I fully agree with you: the Real O’Neals is getting better and better, and if you haven’t checked it out, I highly recommend it! I’d provide a link to a torrent, but I’m at work and those naughty sites have been largely blocked here.

    • ZhyKitty

      I love the show! Good for you for giving it a shout out!

    • Gigi

      Thanks for the reminder. We watched the first few episodes, liked them, but forgot about the show.

  • Mark

    If he has a gay brother – I got first dibs!

  • Octavio

    Love the way he pronounces Mississippi as “Mooshisdippi.” Him cute. πŸ™‚

  • Lindoro Almaviva

    This fucker is getting cuter by the second. I’d do him 4 times…

  • ryan charisma

    “…and fuck Nancy Grace too”

  • GFMFI

    Trannygender bathroom bills don’t go away because you obsessed loonies keep them alive! Good that someone is taking your suckers money for that.

    • stevenj

      The”obsessed loonies” seem to be the ones proposing and enacting these laws.

  • Irene Harrels

    I hope this guy have nothing to do with that ex-fux news commentator right wing nutter Steven Crowder. Why so many american hateful right wing extremists have something to do with Canada. Its pretty ironic as how nice people most of Canadians are.

  • Plutonius

    I signed the petition.
    I used the name Hairyass Jesusbanger.

  • Sarahsgallagher4

    “my room mate Mary Is getting paid on the internet 98$/hr”..,……..!wc147ctwo days ago grey MacLaren P1 I bought after earning 18,512 DoIIars..it was my previous month’s payout..just a little over.17k DoIIars Last month..3-5 hours job a day…with weekly payouts..it’s realy the simplest. job I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months. ago. and now making over. hourly 87 DoIIars…Learn. More right Here !wc147:➽:➽:➽➽➽➽ http://GlobalSuperJobsReportsEmploymentsSiteGetPayHourly$98…. .❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦::::::!wc147……

  • Robert

    This guy is so damned sexy…

  • LMAO! The Nancy Grace comments were the best!