Harlem Hate Pastor: God Told Me All Sodomites Will Get Cancer Of The Butthole Starting Today [VIDEO]

“The next time you get poked in the butt, a flame, when that man pulls that penis out of you, a flame will shoot out of you! I got the word in my mouth! You think AIDS was bad? You ain’t seen nothing yet! Thus sayeth the lord! I’m the lord’s servant! I’m the sodomite slayer! You gonna see, it’s gonna be a wonder to behold! You’re gonna see the power of God fall upon Harlem! Tell these faggots, either they get outta town or flame and fire gonna come outta their butthole. And anybody that sympathizes with ’em, they gonna have a flame shooting outta their vagina. You gonna need asbestos panties! God has sent the word! Ye shall be justly afflicted! God will destroy you!” – Harlem hate Pastor James David Manning, revealing that God has personally told him that all gay men will get anal cancer starting today.

  • Lazycrockett

    This dude thinks bout anal more than any mo I know.

    • Hank

      I do not know about that…..

    • glass

      I came here to post that same thing. This guy is OBSESSED with men’s holes.

    • KCMC

      thinking he’s trying to explain, “flamers.”

  • Paula

  • Mister Don

    Better lay off the Chipotle today!

    • DaveW

      Chipotle: no charge for the feces in your food.

      Don’t eat there! Disgusting!!!!!

      • SoCalVet

        I went back for the first time yesterday. It was delicious. There were very few employees and few patrons, sorta sad. I followed it up with a semen laden starbucks latte.
        And I’m feeling fabulous today. How do I look?

        • bkmn

          Marvelous, of course.

        • Joe knows who I am.

          Vibrant!

        • Lumpy Gaga

          Shitty.

          (jokes!)

        • MichaelJ

          You’re not much of a man by the light of day
          But by night you’re one hell of a lover!

        • Henri205

          It’s not how you feel, it’s how you look. And you look marvelous. Absolutely marvelous.

          • Steve Teeter

            That’s pronounced maahh-velous.

        • MisterShoebox

          Not gonna lie, I read that as “I went back in time the first time today.” I literally thought you were referencing some game or movie or book where there were semen-lattes in a forgotten yesteryear.

          …If that’s not a thing? It needs to be a thing.

          And you look like a million dollars.

      • Robincho

        New Chipotle motto: “We’re Cookin’ the Shit Outta Your Food!”…

        • colin payne

          I thought that was Jack-in-the-Box

    • Baltimatt

      Too late; that’s where I had lunch today.

      • Todd Allis

        I last ate there on Sunday.

    • Doug105
      • glass

        So jesus is now a hairdresser?

        • kcken

          Or one of those people you pay 80$ an hour to pick out drug resistant head lice. (thats a real thing).

    • JR
  • Butch

    What is wrong with you is no small thing.

    • Justin

      Actually, what is wrong with him might very will be a small thing.

  • Todd Allis

    Be ready for fireworks!

  • Frostbite

    That’s funny, I was just talking to the FSM and he said all idiots would get diarrhea of the mouth starting today. Looks like it came true!

  • Alan43

    Good lord, in a world full of loons this guy is the undisputed champion

    • Christopher

      If history has taught us anything, it’s that there is always better crazy just around the corner.

  • Rex

    Nobody just names themselves the “Sodomite Slayer” that title has to be earned.

    • teeveedub

      “Sodomite Slayer”? Is that the latest Xtian superhero movie starring Kirk Cameron?

      • Rex

        I was thinking porn.

        • m_lp_ql_m

          Could be the same thing if done right.

        • AnotherJosh

          Or gay heavy metal band…

    • MisterShoebox

      Trufax: Vince MacMahon was seriously considering that name for one of his wrestlers!…I kid, but it wouldn’t surprise me if that went through his head at one point, the man is loony-tunes.

  • NotAnApologist

    “Eata da poo-poo”

  • John Bogeman

    Who is the god of buttholes? Because it’s obvious this motherfucking piece of shit worships that god. Dude is seriously obsessed with gay men’s buttholes. And you just know the dildo in his nightstand has at least a 10″ girth on it.

  • AW

    This guy is cancer of the butthole, so he’s right! Congratulations!

  • Natty Enquirer

    Ah, a fresh load from our favorite scatomaniac.

  • RainbowPhoenix

    Well, since he said the s-word, I wonder if he thinks it’s acceptable for a man to throw his daughters to a mob to be gang-raped.

    • Rocketeer500

      Since I haven’t read anything to the contrary, it must be true.

      The internets never lie…….

    • clay

      Yes.

    • Snarkaholic

      And later that evening, he’ll have sex with them and knock them both up (God has no problem with it…why do you(?)

  • Lawerence Collins

    I see. Poor James diagnosed with cancer today๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Rex

    Flames outta the ass is just a result of poor lube quality.

    • Christopher Smith

      Or maybe too much hot sauce.

      • Brian in Valdosta

        Did I just witness a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup moment where two great things joined to make one new one?

        • Christopher Smith

          GRIN. Brian, you’re so smart.

      • glass

        Or maybe mixing Sriracha with hot sauce?

        • Christopher Smith

          Now you’re talking…..:)

  • ExGayTherapyKills

    Pastor James David Manning is a big closet case, anybody who has that much attention on gay sex and rants about it as much as he does is hiding something.

  • Rex

    “I got the word in my mouth” – well, next time just swallow, dumbass.

    • Tallahassee

      Misspelled “Wad”

      • clay

        I blame the automated closed captioning.

      • JCF

        Ew!

    • Lane

      You look like you got a little Word on your chin there — no, other side. Little lower. There ya go, you got it.

  • Necessitas

    AP Reports Cruz Supports Bathroom Restrictions for GAY people!

    http://www.whec.com/news/cruz-supports-gay-bathroom-restrictions/4105827/

    WASHINGTON (AP) – Texas Sen. Ted Cruz says he supports the ability of
    North Carolina lawmakers to pass a law restricting bathroom access for
    gay and transgender people…

    • Paula

      From the article: Cruz wasn’t sure of the details of what was signed.
      Nope, I don’t know or care what was in there as long as it hurts the fags and tranny child molestors.
      Don’t bore him with the facts, details or the results of the law.
      Fucking dominionist asshole.

      • Christopher Smith

        Xtofascism uber alles!

    • William

      So, I should send all my bodily eliminations to his office? Does the Post Office require a special container?

      • Necessitas
        • William

          Why didn’t we know about this during the Oregon standoff. Those boys needed something to play with when the dildos were in the dishwasher.

          • Snarkaholic

            Which one of them was the dishwasher…or did they engage in violent fist fights to win the position?

  • Christopher

    • Robincho

      He’s frantically hoping that his horrifying shirt-and-tie combo will distract our attention from the Bessemer Converter lurking on the other side of his stincter — but I, for one, am not fooled for a moment…

    • MisterShoebox

      THIS, RIGHT HERE, is why I’m agnostic. I do believe in a higher power, I just also think they’re more focused on running the universe than on our little blue ball of mud.

  • boatboy_srq

    Just. No. Words.

    • Bluto

      Laughter will suffice.

      • Rex

        The funniest thing is the title at the start – “The news behind the headlines” It should be “Uncensored rants of a lunatic bigot obsessed with gay anal sex.”

        • AnotherJosh

          When it’s understated like that, though, it’s kind of like an aristocrats joke. Though for the punchline to be funny, the headline needs to appear at the end.

  • delk

    Does this mean the butt babies you told us we were going to have will be arsonists?

  • Christopher

    Stop making it so easy for the rest of us to mock you!

  • Steven B

    Well that explains a lot.

    • JW Swift

      No, kitteh! Bad kitteh! That’s MAH Chipotle!

    • Phillip in L.A.

      Wait, Steven, are you saying Pastor Manning has had an alien array implanted in his rectum?!

      Or that he’s been watching too much South Park? ;}

      • Steven B

        Or both!

  • Nic Peterson

    Aside from Bless his Heart, I am currently speechless.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    OK, but will our butt babies still be ok ??

    • Rex

      Just a little singed.

      • Ragnar Lothbrok

        Like marshmallows at a campfire ?
        This could be a really good thing.

        • Rex

          Your baby’s so cute, but what happened to his eyebrows?

          • William

            That’s why Sharpies were invented.

        • Henri205

          I’m thinking s’mores.

          • I’m thinking baby back ribs…but don’t tell anyone.

      • Toasted to a golden brown?

    • perversatile

      -there will be fewer but more fire resistant

  • Phaius

    Man, he’s more obsessed with anuses than some of the hardcore fisters I know.

  • Michael Rush

    He has his pudgy finger on the pulse of ” What would Jesus do “

  • juanjo54

    The lady does protest too much

  • Kissmagrits

    Asbestos diapers? Now the “Depend” company can develop a new line of adult hygiene products. However, I don’t think the EPA will let them use asbestos – too dangerous – maybe Fiberglass?

    • Phil2u

      Indeed. Asbestos is totally forbidden.

    • jmax

      Kevlar.

      • perversatile
        • jmax

          Hahaha. I wouldn’t care if I was wearing 3″ thick hardened-steel plate underwear – NO WAY anybody is taking a shot at my junk.

          • perversatile

            well…not with a gun.

          • Phillip in L.A.

            PickyPecker–rimshot, please!

        • Bad Tom

          I love how the 3rd cop flinches.

  • Paula

    A flame will shoot out? Damn, I think you guys just solved the energy crisis!

    • Joe in PA

      Now Paula…you’re part of this too…with that vagina of yours. ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Paula

        Not unless I eat some Lizbeans.

        • Christopher Smith

          LizbeansTM…..the NEW low-carb, high-fiber snack for the girl on the go!

          • Hank

            VERY well said!!!

        • Joe in PA

          so that’s a yes. ๐Ÿ™‚

        • boatboy_srq

          Thread officially won.

        • lizbeans. epic.

        • I wish i wuz lizbean with liz warren

      • i wouldn’t expect you to understand, but as the Male Gay Ass produces fire, the Lesbian Vagina produces water. together they combine with air from our mouths and the earth in our shoes, to form gayrollers.

        this is why the dear little pastor is so very afraid.

        • Joe in PA

          Wow…who knew? ๐Ÿ˜‰

        • perversatile

          Unite & Smite?

          • Snarkaholic

            Spreading Blight and Fright…with All Our Might!!!

          • perversatile

            -to the tragically uptight anti-sodomites

          • Snarkaholic

            Who spend every night…with a pillow to bite!

        • m_lp_ql_m

          I don’t think that’s water. At least, that’s what the video claimed.

        • Christopher Smith

          Love it.

    • Soren456

      I won’t need matches for the BBQ any more.

      • Rex

        or to light the after sex cigarette.

    • perversatile

      -or we could just hook a turbine to the Pastor’s crazy.

    • Rex

      And gay guys over 50 could be considered “fossil fuel.”

  • Joe in PA

    please, like who DOESN’T already HAVE asbestos panties…I mean really?

    • Rex

      Top drawer, right side. But, I am wearing my Thursday pair.

      • m_lp_ql_m

        I could never get that coordinated. By the time Thursday rolls around, my Thursday pair is still in the dirty laundry pile.

    • Bluto

      Will a kevlar jockstrap work in a pinch?

      • Rex

        Either way, you look hot in a jock.

      • Necessitas

        This guy is testing that premise…

    • perversatile

      -mine are ironically embroidered with flames

  • Rex

    OK, I guess I’m going have to get fucked to test his theory. I could use a hot lay anyway.

    • Larry Gist

      *raises hand* I’ll volunteer to help you out with that…

      • Rex

        I’ll have a bucket of water handy, just in case he’s right.

      • Matthew Delemos

        *stands in line*

    • Mark

      Now stop that. You’re gonna make me switch channels just to take matters in hand….

    • Paula

      That’s like Do you smoke after sex? I don’t know, I’ve never looked.

      • Phillip in L.A.

        Man 1: Does your penis burn after intercourse?
        Man 2: I don’t know, I never tried lighting it.

        • TuuxKabin

          Good spin on it Phillip! Keep it up, jeje.

          • Phillip in L.A.

            1: “Gee, I feel like fucking that guy again.”
            2: “What! you mean to tell me you fucked that total stud?”
            1: “No, but I felt like it before.”

        • MisterShoebox

          “Does your penis burn after intercourse?”

          “Only when I want to go down in flames.”

    • Snarkaholic

      No, Lindsey Lohan…he WASN’T referring to your fiery crotch!

  • geoffalnutt

    I can see this guy shuffling down a deserted NY street…around 2am, pushing an empty shopping cart, missing a shoe, muttering obscenities…in the rain. So satisfying.

    • teeveedub

      That’s after the foreclosure auction.

      • Phillip in L.A.

        Yeah, teeveedub, what happened with that foreclosure? Is it still pending?

        • teeveedub

          Later this month, I believe.

  • Mark Neรฉ Fuzz

    His next lines– Thank you. I’m here all week. Try the fish.

    Once again. His stupidity is laughable.

  • teeveedub

    I bet he’s a great dinner party guest. You can always count on lively conversation.

    • Larry Gist

      DAMN who invited Scott Lively to this shindig?

  • Octoberfurst

    Well that was “inspirational”. So when the buttholes of gay people don’t burst into flames starting today will he admit he was wrong. I’m thinking nahhhhh.

  • Bruno

    Clearly a tRump supporter.

    • Friday

      Actually he is in fact one of Trump’s pet pastors.

      • boatboy_srq

        You just took us from “funny” to “frightening” in a single heartbeat.

  • lynden55

    So all the faithful who have come down with colon cancer in the past were just one of God’s giant OOOPs…

  • Friday

    Today’s reading, from the Gospel of Beavis and Butthead.

    • Jean-Marc in Canada

      …and let’s not forget 2nd Drag Queens, verse 3.

      • Rocketeer500

        Love this…… I’m so stealing it.

        • Jean-Marc in Canada

          Please do. And look for the Book (hopefully this fall) ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    I can’t……I just can’t…….stop laughing.

  • vorpal

    =sigh=
    Somebody went off his meds again.

    • oikos

      Was he ever on them?

      • RainbowPhoenix

        Maybe before Reagan unlocked the mental institutions.

    • Ragnar Lothbrok

      This guy needs mandatory, court ordered Thorazine injections.

      • Henri205

        And I know just where to stick it.

      • David F.

        Thorazine suppositories – traffic cone sized ones.

  • MB

    What a ridiculously STUPID rant. This idiot is so mentally unstable – must be suffering because he misses all that fabulous butt-sechs he enjoyed as a bottom bitch while serving his prison time in Florida and New York.
    He has a very bad case of the semen GUILTYZ.

    http://www.memes.com/m/Uxee

  • Michael Rush

    Don’t let the door hit you in the anus on the way out .

    • He must be REALLY spreadin’ ’em if the scenario you describe were possible!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • given that projection is the #1 rule for all these types, i would guess that he has cancer.

    and if he does? my compassion is too busy caring about decent people for me to have any for him.

    • clay

      penile cancer? ‘cuz he’s, like, totally straight, being a pastor, and all.

      • paganguy

        Although he spends waaaay too much time thinking about guys’ asses. Just the idea of him thinking about my ass skeeves me out.

  • OSG

    You can’t write this shit. “Asbestos Diaper.” Fantastic.

  • ByronK

    Finally – an easy way to light my cigarette after sex!

    • Joe in PA

      …the classic joke…

      Do you smoke after sex? — I don’t know I never looked. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • OSG

      Does your asshole operate on butane or will standard lighter fluid do?

      • perversatile

        and where’s the pilot light?

      • Lumpy Gaga

        Only ethanol for MY cornhole.

    • Necessitas

      Good for starting camp fires too…

      • Phillip in L.A.

        Pyro-flatulence. According to some sources, changes in diet change the color of the issuing flame.

        WARNING: Pyro-flatulence can cause singed pubic hair, severe epidermal burns, and flames leaping out of your asshole. Wear suitable fire-protection equipment at all times, and have a fire extinguisher handy. Not suitable for children under the age of 12. Do not try this at home!

        • Bad Tom

          Not suitable for children over the age of 12, either.

  • MikeBx2

    Once he gets kicked to the curb, he should apply to be Bryan Fischer’s radio sidekick. They both have the same obsession. Comedy gold.

    • Snarkaholic

      Will Fischer hire him? He’s not of the “Caucasian Persuasion.”

  • Vicious Malicious

    Is that anyone who has ever participated in oral or anal sex? That’s a lot of people.

    Also, kudos joe for filing this under Mad Cow Disease

  • HZ81

    My no-no hole is a bit itchy today. Just saying. Too much soap?

  • KarenAtFOH

    I dunno, I’m not feelin’ the burn.

    • Christopher Smith

      You’re not doing it right. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • clay

    So, all insertive partners are totally masculine and not gay, therefore tops are safe?

    • m_lp_ql_m

      As long as they pull out really quickly.

  • OSG

    How are we supposed to stay on our knees with these rocket-thruster assholes of ours? You’re asking waaaaay too much.

  • oikos

    Nope, not feeling the burn, but so craving a latte today.

  • Christopher

    LOL

  • Gaymurcan

    God didn’t “tell” you shit. Oh wait, Lol!

  • Hey Manning…

  • Pollos Hermanos

    That’s nothing. You should see what he thinks happens to lesbians.

    https://youtu.be/2O67frlzHlk

    • Rebecca Gardner
    • paganguy

      WTF did I just watch

      • Pollos Hermanos

        Japanese cinematic art at its finest. That’s what you just watched.

    • Phillip in L.A.

      That’s a bad case of vagina dentata inflammata

  • askDominick

    This person is mentally ill.

  • Jeffrey

    Wow! Flaming ass cancer does sound bad!

    • geoffalnutt

      The visual is bad enough, but the smell gets in the drapes. That’s what I hate.

    • Snarkaholic

      Well, he’s flaming all right…AND an ass!

  • Megrim Twist

  • mikeinrkfd

    Man those asbestos panties itch though.

  • Lane

    I really REALLY expected him to stand up suddenly during his deranged rant and start slapping at his own ass to put out the fire that appears during the taping of this video. With a super shocked look on his face.

  • Necessitas

    That’s nothing, shit routinely comes out of Pastor Manning’s mouth.

  • mjcc1987

    Butthole, word in mouth. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm is this code for rimming?

  • WhoDat (RIP Will Smith)
  • BostonBud

    I used to think that his videos were hilarious. But I’ve come to think that he very disturbed and mentally ill.

    • rabbit_ears

      He’s losing his grip on reality at the same rate he’s losing his grip on that building.

      • MB

        Maybe he could look up and use that $400 box-in-a-condo that’s no longer being used in San Francisco, since he’ll be homeless. The ghey boyz that had it moved into a bigger apartment.

  • FelineMama

    Gee, god told me YOU were the cancer of buttholes!!! which god is right??

  • JohnJay

    So if by next week, there are no huge news stories of massive diagnoses in NYC of flaming butthole cancer, then his flock should denounce him as a FALSE PROPHET, and he should slink away in shame.

    • RainbowPhoenix

      Oh, there you go with your logic.

    • Rex

      Hopefully the news story will be that his church is on the auction block.

  • dcurlee

    OMG what a train wreck he is….I’m hoping they took him directly to his padded room after that video. I thought he was a mess before. Boy was I wrong. On the up side I don’t mind being called a lightning bug ๐Ÿ˜œ

  • Pete

    Does this guy actually have a congregation ? How many people? What do they look like? He says ” they will need asbestos diapers !”

  • Lane

    Oh, man. Well, now he just lost all credibility by saying lightning bugs have flames coming out their butt. Bioluminescence is not a “flame”. And it’s a cold chemical reaction — no significant heat is released, just light. But if us gays get glowing asses? That would be awesome! Unless it makes it difficult to sleep at night.

    • m_lp_ql_m

      So now I’m imagining a glow-stick dildo.

      • Phillip in L.A.

        At certain “parties,” chemical glow-sticks have been used in that capacity (or so I am informed). (See, e.g., The Black Party at The Saint, circa 1981-83.)

  • Rocketeer500

    Well then, I had better tell hubby not to get to affectionate……..

    • coram nobis

      “We have liftoff!”

  • Tempus Fuggit

    Nnnnoooo, you’re thinking of the first episode of the first season of South Park, entitled “Cartman Gets an Anal Probe”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS-h6ok6LcA

    • Phillip in L.A.

      (Mr. Garrison.) “Eric, do you need to sit in the corner until your flaming gas is under control?”

  • MB
  • Mark

    And on the first day of his last week…..

  • rabbit_ears

    Did god happen to tell you that you’re a loony? No, well I will.

  • coram nobis

    No, Reverend, what God said unto you was, “No, no, this is what you can expect when you get your well-deserved trip to Hell. And tell Satan I said hi.”

  • This individual is severely disturbed mentally if he really believes the crap he is spewing. If he does not actually believe these things, he is simply a hateful mean-spirited entity. (Note: I am not using the noun “person” in these comments about him.)

  • William

    He’s describing the after effects of my partner’s chile rellenos.

    • MB

      Try making a green-chile relleno with duck; simply delicious.

      • Paula

        Is this one of those recipes that starts somethings like First, catch a duck?

  • DaveW

    Oh my, he is crazy and homo obsessed enough to be a white Christian small dicked man!

    Only a true Christian can be this crazy.

    If you think I jest, substitute talking snakes for flame throwing buts. Which is crazier?

  • Cuberly
  • Secure

    Oh Snarf

  • WhoDat (RIP Will Smith)

    I feel bad for laughing at a mentally ill man.

  • LovesIrony

    No, he said stop being a cancerous butthole starting today

  • NancyP

    Public service announcement:
    Pastor Wingnut is partially correct. Just subtract the “all”.
    HIV positive people who engage in anal sex are at higher risk for developing anal pre-cancer and invasive anal carcinoma, compared with the general population. It isn’t common even in this population, although the people whose viral load is high are at higher risk than people with well-controlled HIV. Granted, I said “people” and not “men” because women are susceptible too – but most of the time the women have abnormalities detected at their gynecologist visit. For men at risk, there is a screening test analogous to the cervical Pap smear for women. It is an office procedure and involves a swab to get cells for cytologic study and HPV viral detection at the pathology lab. (I am a pathologist, that’s why I know)

  • Capritaur

    Trying to steal the credit of Mexican food? Typical Christian.

  • Richard B

    It was clear all along that Pastor James David Manning was mentally unwell and now we watch him coming unglued at the seams. It won’t be pretty when Karma finishes catching up with him and bites him a new butthole.

  • rabbit_ears

    He is really butthole fixated isn’t he?

  • jomicur

    Ah, more of that old-time Christian love! We’re constantly being told Christianity is a loving religion. It sure as hell isn’t a thinking one.

    • RJ Bone

      “The Texas GOP’s declarative position against critical thinking in public schools, or any schools, for that matter, is now an official part of their political platform. It is public record in the Republican Party of Texas 2012 platform. With regard to critical thinking, the Republican Party of Texas document states: “Knowledge-Based Education – We oppose the teaching of Higher Order Thinking Skills (HOTS) (values clarification), critical thinking skills and similar programs that are simply a relabeling of Outcome-Based Education (OBE) (mastery learning) which focus on behavior modification and have the purpose of challenging the student’s fixed beliefs and undermining parental authority.””

      Texas being an excellent example of conservative christian values…

  • bkmn

    I’d better get to Costco and buy up their entire supply of Preparation H.

  • Baltimatt

    Will straight guys who sympathize suddenly grow vaginas so that flames can shoot out of them?

  • Snarkaholic

    Well, God told ME that, since you’re soon going to have No Church and No Job, Ringling Bros. Circus is looking for clowns…and that, with the outfit you’re wearing, you’ll be a shoo-in!

    • MisterShoebox

      YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH! Clowns are AWESOME! No clown should be associated with this idiot! He would bring them down to the level of Street Mimes (Which are indeed awful) with his mere presence!

      • Snarkaholic

        I strongly disagree…Street Mimes are SILENT.

        • MisterShoebox

          Only because they don’t know the words.

  • JohnJay

    Listened to the whole thing. It seems that tops are not affected?

    • Lumpy Gaga

      For lo! You of the tops shall spew the hottest fires of all. Your name is Beelzebutt!

  • adamj2013

    This guy is a total liar and a fraud. Everyone knows God only talks to Pat Robertson.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      God is SUCH a racist.

  • Lumpy Gaga

    Now that you mention it, I AM itching… down there..

  • DonnaLee

    He couldn’t even make a living with this church, because if he could, he’d have paid the utilities. His god is pretty useless.

  • TheManicMechanic

    The louder you complain, the more plain the fact that you are hiding something. A whole lotta D has been manning Manning’s various orifices, and he liked it. He wants more. He’s been on the DL getting more, but he doesn’t want anyone to think it possible. Yeah, we know, and you’ll be found out someday soon.

  • Matthew Delemos

    He’s lucky the gay community is mostly tolerant of our enemies. I can’t think of a single instance where vitrol of this nature would be leveled at any other group with zero consequences (well…besides mockery). The man is mentaly ill and should be getting therapy, not giving hate speeches and making headlines with them.

  • Lumpy Gaga

    And it burns, burns, burns….

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3g5cdpe1it8

  • nocadrummer

    No, dear. You misunderstood God. He said YOU are a FLAMING ASSHOLE.

  • Guess?

    God told me Manning is a lying sack of shit.

  • Janice

    His face looks like a butthole… and he certainly is a flamer.

  • GanymedeRenard

    Nope. No fire* out of my business as of now. Not even santorum. I must be either immune to the divine wrath or not sodomitical enough. Any thoughts, Mr. Manning?

    ———-
    * Depends on what you consider fire. ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

    • Phillip in L.A.

      If you are not feeling sodomitical enough today, GanymedeRenard, you should try harder!

      • GanymedeRenard

        Ha! I promise I’ll keep trying, Phillip! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Todd

    You charmer you !!!

  • RJ Bone

    Wow.

    How very christian of him. This is an excellent example of why I’m atheist.

  • Necessitas

    Crazy X2…

    • Lumpy Gaga

      Actually, Trump’s making pretty much the same face I would. Maybe he smells something shitty on the Pastor’s breath.

      • zhera

        I think he’s more repulsed with all the dark skin surrounding him.

  • Harley

    I don’t think Farah Fawcet had routine anal sex, but I could be wrong.

  • Once again, Manning demonstrates he is entirely oblivious regarding the existence of lesbians.

    And yes, as many have observed, as a self-described vehemently heterosexual man, he sure is OBSESSED with butt-sex.

    • RJ Bone

      A self-described vehemently heterosexual man who has “struggled with homosexual desires” before. His own admission.

      You are LGBT or you aren’t, Manning!

      That said, there is a lot going on behind closed doors with a person projecting as violently as he does. I hope his parishioners don’t leave him alone with their children, considering the fact that he’s also a preacher ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Taylor

    This guy obviously was called to the wrong profession. With his fixation on “butthole” it seems only logical that he should have become a proctologist!

    • JuanGalicia

      I consulted with one once, his office was FILLED with Jesus statues and crosses, which makes that specially funny to me XD

    • Tor

      I realize our bodies need specialists for all our parts, but choosing a proctology specialty seems like it might not be first on the list of a medical student.

      • grada3784

        Dr. Bob, co-founder of AA, was a proctologist. It was said after a drunk that those examined by him really bet their asses.

  • TuuxKabin

    The Ikettes, ‘Can’t Sit Down’.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXKmnQk_1K8

  • JuanGalicia

    PFFFT BAHAHAHAHAHAHA .. I nearly choked

  • RJ Bone

    Interesting description of a “raging asshole”, Manning. I think SOMEone has been very introspective today!

  • WhiteJesus

    The kook is strong with this one.

  • Ninja0980

    Someone get the net ASAP.

  • MrSkippy

    Jesus dude, that Valium prescription isn’t for looks. You gotta TAKE that shit for it to help you man.

    • trouble94114

      Valium isn’t nearly strong enough to fix what ails this man, we’re in Haldol territory here. This guy has some serious medical/psychological issues and it’s a minor miracle that he’s not being 5150’d on a regular basis

      • MrSkippy

        Nobody likes him enough to do the paperwork.

  • Steven Leahy

    Lmao manning is ALWAYS good for a great laugh!

  • ATLJason

    You. Gonna. Need. Asbestos. Panties.

    THIS.

  • David in Tucson

    Apparently he’s lighting the gas coming out of his mouth.

  • Ryan Hunter

    In the old days, prior to Saint Ronnie, people like this were locked up for their own good.

  • Henri205

    This guy didn’t buy a ticket on the crazy train. He’s driving it. What a complete fucking lunatic.

  • Robert Conner

    “And the Lord spake unto David Manning from the Burning Asshole, yet the Asshole was not consumed.” Dumbassodus 3:2

  • Girl, at least you get to keep the youtube channel, okay?

  • Skokieguy [Larry]

    Mandatory Treatment Laws in New York

    Like every state, New York has civil commitment laws that establish criteria for determining when involuntary treatment is appropriate for individuals with severe mental illness who cannot seek care voluntarily. New York’s laws allow for the use of court-ordered treatment in the community, known as assisted outpatient treatment (AOT).

    For inpatient treatment, a person must be meet the following criteria:
    -be a danger to self/others;
    -have treatment in a hospital deemed essential, and
    -be unable to understand need for care and treatment.

    For outpatient treatment, a person must meet the following criteria:
    -be unlikely to survive safely in community without supervision;
    -have a history of noncompliance that includes two hospitalizations in past 36 months,
    -or act/threaten/attempt violence to self/others in 48 months immediately preceding petition filing;
    -be unlikely to voluntarily participate, needs in order to prevent
    relapse or deterioration likely to result in serious harm to
    self/others, and be likely to benefit from assisted treatment.

    http://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/index.php?option=com_content&id=228&Itemid=163

  • JT

    Manning wants a man bad. Super Freak.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTZwhO-ggcw

  • edrex

    โ€œThe next time you get poked in the butt, a flame, when that man pulls that penis out of you, a flame will shoot out of you! ”

    However…. that WOULD be a cool trick.

  • 2karmanot

    Yawn…..NEXT!….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  • Bob Ela

    He’s got himself a butthole fixation. bwahaha

  • Alex Gera

    Won’t anybody think of the butt babies!

  • Luther Kreiger

    And so he is reduced to recording filthy, barely-veiled fantasies expressed through tantrums. It would be pathetic if he wasn’t already one of the most pathetic creatures that existed.

  • JT

    “My butthole burns for yours.”
    https://i.ytimg.com/vi/AoJH7iGnp5U/hqdefault.jpg

  • JT
  • Bill

    I can thrice confirm that this is not true. At least, not today.

    • Gianni

      ๐Ÿ˜€ Thanks, we really needed confirmation.

  • bambinoitaliano

    This guy is the Ben Carson of preacher. Just made up shit as long as anyone is paying attention. He’s got a whole WBC community living inside him.

  • Matt

    Somebody’s thinking about anal sex waaaaay too much. Says a lot, don’t you think?

  • zhera

    Well, no fireworks without fire, right? ;D

  • TheSpinMonkey

    Well I guess I should run out and have someone give my butthole a through inspection

  • Tor

    So what will he say when it fails to come to pass?

  • RhettStone
  • Dick518

    He is fucking hysterical… Can’t wait until the foreclosure….

  • Gerry Fisher

    He said, “thus” and “sayeth,” so it must be true, right?

    • Dan Robinson

      Verily forsooth.

  • Dick518

    I’ll fall down on my knees alright…. to Jebus, he looks like a hottie…

  • Paige Turner

    I think we all know what she really wants…….

  • Elsewhere1010

    It’s early in the day yet, but I already have first hand proof that he’s wrong. Well, that and a big smile on my face.

  • djcoastermark

    mmm huuh,that’s right , amen. Great idea for the next pride parade with the gals on bikes group with flaming vaginas this year.

  • Tigernan Quinn

    I’m not sure what the official starting time was, but I can share with you that so far today there has been no flame. Either time.

  • Dan Robinson

    What is it with this guy and buttholes? Can’t he get enough? All he ever talks about is buttholes and penises in mouths. And semen. And seamen. Every day he sees men. He wants them. All of them. In his butthole. And his mouth. He must. It’s all he thinks about. I think about men all day long and I can’t begin to keep up with this guy.

    • Tigernan Quinn

      It’s a gospel I can really get behind.

      • Dan Robinson

        Praise the load!

      • AnotherJosh

        …or in front of, for that matter.

    • David F.

      Fond reminiscences of his prison days most likely. Probably the last time he had sex on more than just his birthday and anniversary.

  • Tom G

    God said “pastor if you are a sodomite.,..” This sounds like it was directed AT HIM!!

  • Ginger Snap

    You idiot it’s called a prolapse not cancer.

  • Fortunately there’s a pill for that… https://youtu.be/a3QhW9EoRpk (NSFW)

    • KCMC

      HA! “you didn’t tell me you were a spinner”

  • Bill T.

    I’ll take,”Things a flaming asshole says when he looks in a mirror” for 1,000, Alex.

  • Rod Steely

    I am so fucking glad I donated to the fund to buy this real estate out from undeneath this asshole.

  • hmmm….maybe time to switch to water-based lube……..

  • PeterC

    You know because that is what happened to you ????

  • studd55
  • Alex in Idaho

    He’s out of this world…

  • John Calendo

    Where are the boom-shakalakas?

  • Helen Damnation โœ“แต›แต‰สณแถฆแถ แถฆแต‰แตˆ

    Pastor Many-men looks better in a blue jacket, dontcha think? Especially with this nice, rainbow colored holiday frame!

  • Blobby

    I’m still butthole cancer free……………………..for now!

  • colin payne

    What a maroon.

  • Homo Erectus

    Not winning any converts with that line….

  • Gianni

    Flames and cancer – the double whammy! if nothing else, God’s message is clear, as told by this most devoted apostle. His mind is totally wrapped up in the idea of dick in butthole and then blaming it on the heavenly voices he hears.

  • grada3784

    We’re about to join the Blue Flamers? That’s some really hot shit!!

  • Jude Newton

    I love Pastor James. That man should be on every news show every night.
    The country would become secular within a year.

  • houstonray

    How about we all send him a picture of our buttholes and ask if it looks like cancer? Because apparently he’s an expert and I’d really like to have mine checked just in case….

    • Bj Lincoln

      I like that idea! The wife and I don’t really do anything anal but I am willing to send a close up picture of mine as one who sympathizes, meaning gay too. I will not send shots of my lovely vagina as he may enjoy it too much and I only share that with the one I love.

  • macko

    This minister knows so much a bout sadomy. He has expounded all the various machinations of man on man sex, that he must have been practicing .

  • Henson

    I didn’t realize flames are a symptom of butthole cancer.

  • jonfromcalifornia

    If God spoke to him, how come God did not tell him how to get out of losing his “church”? Liar.

  • JCF

    “when that man pulls that penis out of you”

    …said as only someone who Thinks About This Often can!!!

  • fuzzybits
  • fuzzybits
  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    He seems to have a fire kink.

  • olandp

    How is it that he hasn’t been institutionalized?

  • Am I a proper sodomite? If I’m not into the buttsecks I can’t be a proper sodomite.

  • DaveMiller135

    I’ve done that thing with the Bic lighter. You have to be careful, because if the flame travels back up along the, er, gas stream, and goes inside, you could explode. Allegedly.

  • Cuberly

    Who needs a hoverboard, call me Fey-Dragonfly!

    https://twitter.com/realscientists/status/720816804856274944

  • DutchBoy74

    Put down your drink before hitting the play button. I just about spat mine out out of laughter.

  • Johnny Wyeknot

    Something tells me he just contracted rectal gonorrhea and is pissed about it.

  • NMNative

    Do they come any nuttier? This man is a taco short of a combo plate.

    • grada3784

      Just 1?

  • Dave_in_PDX

    Is it me or did others get the impression that he is going to burn his church down before the sodomites get it? This concerns me. He is sooo deranged, it wouldn’t surprise me. “….itโ€™s gonna be a wonder to behold! Youโ€™re gonna see the power of God fall upon Harlem!”

  • MisterShoebox

    Preeeeeeetty sure all the Sodomites died when Uriel dropped his Angel Nuke on the city, doofus.

    And yes, I called him a doofus. He’s not worthy of any real vitriol – stupid people are going to be stupid no matter what happens, but at least the ignorant ones can be educated. (Difference being stupid people choose to REMAIN ignorant.)

  • andrew

    Some haters are just so goofy.

  • PaulT

    Even by his standards this is bat shit crazy. The financial stress must be getting to him as he looks forward to pushing a shopping trolley with his stuff in it around Harlem.